Pam Spaulding's Blog, page 96

When the Democrats come to Charlotte, the LGBTs won't be welcome

This week the Democratic National Committee announced it would hold its 2012 national convention in Charlotte. The Democratic National Convention will be a boost to our lovely, little Southern city. It might also serve as an opportunity, if undertaken wisely, to improve the lives of LGBT people in Charlotte.

The state of LGBT equality in Charlotte and why the convention is good for our community here was the basis of my recent commentary at The Advocate.

A snippet...

In case you aren’t familiar with Charlotte, let me provide a quick introduction. We’re the largest city between Atlanta and Washington, D.C., and home to the nation’s largest bank, Bank of America. Our NFL team is the Carolina Panthers, and the NASCAR Hall of Fame recently opened here. Oh, and one last thing: Charlotte is not a friendly place for LGBT people.

Though Charlotte is progressive and accepting in many social and business circles, its political and religious landscapes offer little comfort to LGBT citizens. Democratic candidates and elected officials have never considered LGBT equality anything more than an election year talking point delivered to carefully selected audiences. Locals have only two substantial pieces of pro-LGBT law on which to rely, both of those passed by the county as Democratic city leaders, despite their majority on city council, have continued their decades-old stalling techniques.

“But it’s an election year." "The mayor would veto it." "I just don’t have the support," they said. Year after year, any attempt by LGBT residents at forward movement has been blocked by cold shoulders, dead ends and half-cocked solutions and sound bites to appease and quiet us.

By any measure of comparison — with the three other convention finalist cities, with similarly sized cities in the South, or even with Carolina cities and towns with populations as small as 5,000 — Charlotte fails with regard to LGBT inclusion: City employees lack basic protections against discrimination  on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, employees lack domestic-partner benefits that would enable them to care for their loved ones and children, LGBT people have no significant representation on council or any of its boards, and city agencies like the police department have little to no experience dealing with LGBT people.

I encourage you to read the rest at The Advocate. It's fiery, yes, but it drives home a point that so many folks, even in our own local LGBT communities, that was completely ignored and swept under the rug during Charlotte's bid to outdo Cleveland, Minneapolis and St. Louis for the 2012 hosting honors.

P.S. -- More on LGBT equality in Charlotte: http://goqnotes.com/9319/

Are lgbt groups going to be next on right-wing entrapment tour?

crossposted on Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters

Planned Parenthood nearly became the victims of an entrapment launched by the same bunch of right-wing activist who brought down the community group ACORN.

Apparently the method of sending someone in talking about prostitution and underaged sex on heavily edited tapes didn't work this time.

However that didn't seem to stop religious right groups from trying to salvage something out of the debacle by attacking Planned Parenthood even after the phony sting exploded in the face of its creators.

And don't think this embarrassment will stop some right-wing activists from targeting lgbt groups, either.

It isn't paranoia nor is it farfetched to think that someone will be sooner or later be visiting lgbt centers - preferably ones dealing lgbt youth - and attempt to entrap workers and volunteers much like they tried with Planned Parenthood and ACORN.

And we can count on this nonsense being filmed for tapes which will later be heavily edited.

And I am also sure that we can count on religious right groups like the Family Research Council, religious right spokespeople like Peter LaBarbera, and right-leaning Congressional leaders such as Steve King or Michele Bachmann to conveniently denounce said footage and demand action before an investigation can take place. An investigation, mind you, which will most likely lead to the discovery that the tapes have been doctored and the evidence against targeted groups is faulty at best.

My suggestion would be for Planned Parenthood and law enforcement officials to see if they can prosecute these people to the fullest extent of the law.

And for lgbt groups to watch their backs. We know those on the other side of the spectrum sometimes don't play fair.

And now we know that they don't care who is aware of this fact.

Members of Congress call for benefits earned to be given to those discharged under DADT

U.S. Representatives Gwen Moore (D-Wis.), Barney Frank (D-Mass.), Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.), Jared Polis (D-Colo.) and David Cicilline (D-R.I.) are among the elected officials on the Hill urging fairness and equality to those discriminated against under DADT in a letter to the Secretary of Defense .

The letters ask Secretaries Gates and Shinseki to address the issue of discharge characterizations in the repeal process. Some gay and lesbian service members discharged under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" or previous policies were discharged in a way that may block access to health care for veterans, education through the GI Bill and other benefits.

Congresswoman Moore said, "Even after we have ceremoniously repealed 'Don't' Ask, Don't Tell' we know there are still consequences. For some gays and lesbians the policy might as well have been - don't ask, don't tell, don't provide veterans benefits they earned. We need to get rid of that silent part because we can't leave anyone behind as our nation moves forward.

Congressman Frank said, "While we cannot completely undo the injustice that has been done to gay and lesbian service members, we can at least diminish the harm they suffered by preserving the benefits they earned."

Congresswoman Baldwin said, "It's time to right a grievous wrong and fully recognize the military service of gay and lesbian Americans discharged under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." One way of recognizing their service is to allow them the benefits they rightly earned. We cannot undo the injustice these former servicemembers have already suffered, but we can begin to serve them as honorably as they served our country."

Congressman Polis said, "All the men and women who wear the uniform of this country deserve not only our deepest respect, but also our unwavering support regardless of whether they are straight or gay. Repealing DADT was an incredible victory for our nation and strengthens our armed forces, but the fight is not yet entirely over. As we fully implement the repeal of DADT, we must take action to ensure fair treatment for the many soldiers who, despite bravely serving our country, were discharged under this policy. They have earned it."

Congressman Cicilline said, "While the discriminatory DADT policy has been repealed, there are still soldiers who may suffer from lack of benefits due to a former dishonorable discharge. The brave men and women defending our country abroad put their lives on the line so that we at home do not have to. These courageous servicemen and women deserve the benefits they rightly earned."

The letter was also signed by Representatives John Yarmuth, Henry Waxman, Luis Gutierrez, Shelley Berkley, Pete Stark, Bobby Rush, Ed Markey, Anthony Weiner, Lois Capps, Mike Doyle, Betty McCollum, Betty Sutton, Barbara Lee, Edolphus Towns, Danny Davis, Maxine Waters, Eleanor Holmes Norton, Russ Carnahan, Chellie Pingree, Al Green, Gregory Meeks, Bob Filner, Jan Schakowsky, Keith Ellison, Jim Moran, Karen Bass, Donna Edwards, and John Lewis.

Pit bull saves woman and child from robbery thug

Here is a story about a pit bull that we need to see more of. Breeds on stories about attacks are rarely mentioned in the media except when the reporter believes it is a pit/bully breed. This incident took place in Port Charlotte, FL.

The wandering 65-pound Pit Bull mix might have seemed menacing to some passerby, but one woman will always remember him as her "guardian angel." The dog, which authorities think is lost and not a stray, successfully thwarted a robbery attack on a mother and her 2-year-old son, who were held at knifepoint Monday afternoon.

The Florida woman, who has been identified by authorities simply as "Angela," was leaving a playground with her toddler son in Port Charlotte when a man approached her in the parking lot with a knife and told her not to make any noise or sudden movements.

..."I don't think the dog physically attacked the man, but he went at him and was showing signs of aggression, just baring his teeth and growling and barking. It was clear he was trying to defend this woman," Animal Control Lt. Brian Jones told Pet Pulse.

"I don't know what this man's intentions were, but it is very possible this dog saved her life."

The exceptional part of the story, Jones said, is that the dog had never met or even seen the people it quickly jumped to defend. "You hear about family dogs protecting their owners, but this dog had nothing to do with this woman or her kid," Jones said. "He was like her guardian angel."

I have on many occasions, in spite of statistics on breed specific bites and temperment testing, as well as the history of pit bulls as "nanny dogs," discussed the fear and misinformation with people who simply won't accept that the problem isn't the breed, it's the people breeding the dog for profit and mistreating them. Any dog with strong jaws and a strong desire to please its pack leader is capable of turning into a menace. The facts speak for themselves:

The vast majority of biting dogs (77%) belong to the victim's family or a friend. Another study confirms the obvious to people with experience with dogs -- the dogs most likely to bite and kill (and this cuts across all breeds) are male, unneutered, and chained. That's also a dog that has not been socialized, trained and is a time bomb, not a family pet.  Those are much better predictors of behavior than breed alone.

Any dog, including the people-friendly, popular breeds like Golden Retrievers and Labradors are capable of mauling someone. In fact the recipient of the first face transplant, Isabelle Dinoire, was mutilated by her Lab.

Ultimately it is futile to try to demonize any breed rather than consider the individual animal, whether one is committed to training your dog in a consistent manner, and take away animals from humans that abuse them.

Related:

* Baltimore, MD: Twin teens on trial for torching of a pit bull puppy

* NC Governor Perdue Signs Susie's Law

* My thoughts on the passing of Cesar Millan's late great Daddy the pit bull

* Say no to breed-specific legislation

The POTUS attends National Prayer Breakfast (transcript); vigil for slain LGBT activist David Kato

Today the President broke bread at the National Prayer Breakfast with pious people who are responsible for fomenting anti-gay state sponsored terrorism (because that's what it is) in third world countries. President Obama took the opportunity to reinforce that he is, indeed, a Christian...

Stories on the GetEqual protest outside of the breakfast:

* GetEQUAL DC Responds to the National Prayer Breakfast

* Obama Talks Faith Inside, Get Equal Protests The Family Outside

Via Joe.My.God, a slideshow of his photos from a vigil today for murdered activist David Kato today in NYC:

Despite the bone-chilling temperatures, a large crowd of LGBT activists, allies, and local politicians stood in the slush and snow tonight near the United Nations tonight to memorialize slain Ugandan activist David Kato, who now stands accused being responsible for his own murder by the Ugandan police.

Speakers included the head of the International Gay & Lesbian Human Rights Commission, gay Ugandan nationals, gay clergy, and two NYC council members, all of whom vowed to get the truth about Kato's murder from the Ugandan government, which receives $500 million in U.S. aid annually. Money being paid, it was pointed out, to enable the brutalization and murders of LGBT people.

Below the fold, the transcript of the President's remarks at the NPB today.

I want to begin by just saying a word to Mark Kelly, who's here. We have been praying for Mark's wife, Gabby Giffords, for many days now. But I want Gabby and Mark and their entire family to know that we are with them for the long haul, and God is with them for the long haul.

And even as we pray for Gabby in the aftermath of a tragedy here at home, we're also mindful of the violence that we're now seeing in the Middle East, and we pray that the violence in Egypt will end and that the rights and aspirations of the Egyptian people will be realized and that a better day will dawn over Egypt and throughout the world.

For almost 60 years, going back to President Eisenhower, this gathering has been attended by our President. It's a tradition that I'm proud to uphold not only as a fellow believer but as an elected leader whose entry into public service was actually through the church.

This may come as a surprise, for as some of you know, I did not come from a particularly religious family. My father, who I barely knew - I only met once for a month in my entire life - was said to be a non-believer throughout his life.

My mother, whose parents were Baptist and Methodist, grew up with a certain skepticism about organized religion, and she usually only took me to church on Easter and Christmas - sometimes. And yet my mother was also one of the most spiritual people that I ever knew. She was somebody who was instinctively guided by the Golden Rule and who nagged me constantly about the homespun values of her Kansas upbringing, values like honesty and hard work and kindness and fair play.

And it's because of her that I came to understand the equal worth of all men and all women, and the imperatives of an ethical life and the necessity to act on your beliefs. And it's because of her example and guidance that despite the absence of a formal religious upbringing my earliest inspirations for a life of service ended up being the faith leaders of the civil rights movement.

There was, of course, Martin Luther King and the Baptist leaders, the ways in which they helped those who had been subjugated to make a way out of no way, and transform a nation through the force of love. But there were also Catholic leaders like Father Theodore Heshburg, and Jewish leaders like Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, Muslim leaders and Hindu leaders. Their call to fix what was broken in our world, a call rooted in faith, is what led me just a few years out of college to sign up as a community organizer for a group of churches on the Southside of Chicago. And it was through that experience working with pastors and laypeople trying to heal the wounds of hurting neighborhoods that I came to know Jesus Christ for myself and embrace Him as my lord and savior.

Now, that was over 20 years ago. And like all of us, my faith journey has had its twists and turns. It hasn't always been a straight line. I have thanked God for the joys of parenthood and Michelle's willingness to put up with me. (Laughter.) In the wake of failures and disappointments I've questioned what God had in store for me and been reminded that God's plans for us may not always match our own short-sighted desires.

And let me tell you, these past two years, they have deepened my faith. The presidency has a funny way of making a person feel the need to pray. Abe Lincoln said, as many of you know, "I have been driven to my knees many times by the overwhelming conviction that I had no place else to go."

Fortunately, I'm not alone in my prayers. Pastor friends like Joel Hunter and T.D. Jakes come over to the Oval Office every once in a while to pray with me and pray for the nation. The chapel at Camp David has provided consistent respite and fellowship. The director of our Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnership's office, Joshua DuBois - young minister himself - he starts my morning off with meditations from Scripture.

Most of all, I've got friends around the country - some who I know, some who I don't know, but I know their friends who are out there praying for me. One of them is an old friend named Kaye Wilson. In our family we call her Momma Kaye. And she happens to be Malia and Sasha's godmother. And she has organized prayer circles for me all around the country. She started small with her own Bible study group, but once I started running for President and she heard what they were saying about me on cable, she felt the need to pray harder. By the time I was elected President, she says, "I just couldn't keep up on my own." "I was having to pray eight, nine times a day just for you." So she enlisted help from around the country.

It's also comforting to know that people are praying for you who don't always agree with you. Tom Coburn, for example, is here. He is not only a dear friend but also a brother in Christ. We came into the Senate at the same time. Even though we are on opposite sides of a whole bunch of issues, part of what has bound us together is a shared faith, a recognition that we pray to and serve the same God. And I keep praying that God will show him the light and he will vote with me once in a while. It's going to happen, Tom. A ray of light is going to beam down.

My Christian faith then has been a sustaining force for me over these last few years. All the more so, when Michelle and I hear our faith questioned from time to time, we are reminded that ultimately what matters is not what other people say about us but whether we're being true to our conscience and true to our God. "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."

As I travel across the country folks often ask me what is it that I pray for. And like most of you, my prayers sometimes are general: Lord, give me the strength to meet the challenges of my office. Sometimes they're specific: Lord, give me patience as I watch Malia go to her first dance - (laughter) - where there will be boys. (Laughter.) Lord, have that skirt get longer as she travels to that dance. (Laughter.)

But while I petition God for a whole range of things, there are a few common themes that do recur. The first category of prayer comes out of the urgency of the Old Testament prophets and the Gospel itself. I pray for my ability to help those who are struggling. Christian tradition teaches that one day the world will be turned right side up and everything will return as it should be. But until that day, we're called to work on behalf of a God that chose justice and mercy and compassion to the most vulnerable.

We've seen a lot of hardship these past two years. Not a day passes when I don't get a letter from somebody or meet someone who's out of work or lost their home or without health care. The story Randall told about his father - that's a story that a whole lot of Americans have gone through over these past couple of years.

Sometimes I can't help right away. Sometimes what I can do to try to improve the economy or to curb foreclosures or to help deal with the health care system - sometimes it seems so distant and so remote, so profoundly inadequate to the enormity of the need. And it is my faith, then, that biblical injunction to serve the least of these, that keeps me going and that keeps me from being overwhelmed. It's faith that reminds me that despite being just one very imperfect man, I can still help whoever I can, however I can, wherever I can, for as long as I can, and that somehow God will buttress these efforts.

It also helps to know that none of us are alone in answering this call. It's being taken up each and every day by so many of you - back home, your churches, your temples and synagogues, your fellow congregants - so many faith groups across this great country of ours.

I came upon a group recently called "charity: water," a group that supports clean water projects overseas. This is a project that was started by a former nightclub promoter named Scott Harrison who grew weary of living only for himself and feeling like he wasn't following Christ as well as he should.

And because of Scott's good work, "charity: water" has helped 1.7 million people get access to clean water. And in the next 10 years, he plans to make clean water accessible to a hundred million more. That's the kind of promoting we need more of, and that's the kind of faith that moves mountains. And there's stories like that scattered across this room of people who've taken it upon themselves to make a difference.

Now, sometimes faith groups can do the work of caring for the least of these on their own; sometimes they need a partner, whether it's in business or government. And that's why my administration has taken a fresh look at the way we organize with faith groups, the way we work with faith groups through our Office of Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships.

And through that office, we're expanding the way faith groups can partner with our government. We're helping them feed more kids who otherwise would go hungry. We're helping fatherhood groups get dads the support they need to be there for their children. We're working with non-profits to improve the lives of people around the world. And we're doing it in ways that are aligned with our constitutional principles. And in this work, we intend to expand it in the days ahead, rooted in the notions of partnership and justice and the imperatives to help the poor.

Of course there are some needs that require more resources than faith groups have at their disposal. There's only so much a church can do to help all the families in need - all those who need help making a mortgage payment, or avoiding foreclosure, or making sure their child can go to college. There's only so much that a nonprofit can do to help a community rebuild in the wake of disaster. There's only so much the private sector will do to help folks who are desperately sick get the care that they need.

And that's why I continue to believe that in a caring and in a just society, government must have a role to play; that our values, our love and our charity must find expression not just in our families, not just in our places of work and our places of worship, but also in our government and in our politics.

Over the past two years, the nature of these obligations, the proper role of government has obviously been the subject of enormous controversy. And the debates have been fierce as one side's version of compassion and community may be interpreted by the other side as an oppressive and irresponsible expansion of the state or an unacceptable restriction on individual freedom.

That's why a second recurring theme in my prayers is a prayer for humility. Now, God answered this prayer for me early on by having me marry Michelle. Because whether it's reminding me of a chore undone, or questioning the wisdom of watching my third football game in a row on Sunday, she keeps me humble.

But in this life of politics when debates have become so bitterly polarized, and changes in the media lead so many of us just to listen to those who reinforce our existing biases, it's useful to go back to Scripture to remind ourselves that none of has all the answers - none of us, no matter what our political party or our station in life.

The full breadth of human knowledge is like a grain of sand in God's hands. And there are some mysteries in this world we cannot fully comprehend. As it's written in Job, "God's voice thunders in marvelous ways. He does great things beyond our understandings."

The challenge I find then is to balance this uncertainty, this humility, with the need to fight for deeply held convictions, to be open to other points of view but firm in our core principles. And I pray for this wisdom every day.

I pray that God will show me and all of us the limits of our understanding, and open our ears and our hearts to our brothers and sisters with different points of view; that such reminders of our shared hopes and our shared dreams and our shared limitations as children of God will reveal the way forward that we can travel together.

And the last recurring theme, one that binds all prayers together, is that I might walk closer with God and make that walk my first and most important task.

In our own lives it's easy to be consumed by our daily worries and our daily concerns. And it is even easier at a time when everybody is busy, everybody is stressed, and everybody - our culture is obsessed with wealth and power and celebrity. And often it takes a brush with hardship or tragedy to shake us out of that, to remind us of what matters most.

We see an aging parent wither under a long illness, or we lose a daughter or a husband in Afghanistan, we watch a gunman open fire in a supermarket - and we remember how fleeting life can be. And we ask ourselves how have we treated others, whether we've told our family and friends how much we love them. And it's in these moments, when we feel most intensely our mortality and our own flaws and the sins of the world, that we most desperately seek to touch the face of God.

So my prayer this morning is that we might seek His face not only in those moments, but each and every day; that every day as we go through the hustle and bustle of our lives, whether it's in Washington or Hollywood or anywhere in between, that we might every so often rise above the here and now, and kneel before the Eternal; that we might remember, Kaye, the fact that those who wait on the Lord will soar on wings like eagles, and they will run and not be weary, and they will walk and not faint.

When I wake in the morning, I wait on the Lord, and I ask Him to give me the strength to do right by our country and its people. And when I go to bed at night I wait on the Lord, and I ask Him to forgive me my sins, and look after my family and the American people, and make me an instrument of His will.

I say these prayers hoping they will be answered, and I say these prayers knowing that I must work and must sacrifice and must serve to see them answered. But I also say these prayers knowing that the act of prayer itself is a source of strength. It's a reminder that our time on Earth is not just about us; that when we open ourselves to the possibility that God might have a larger purpose for our lives, there's a chance that somehow, in ways that we may never fully know, God will use us well.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, and may He bless this country that we love.

President at National Prayer Breakfast underscores 'Yes, I Am a Christian'

Posted without comment.

CNN:

"My Christian faith has been sustaining for me over the last couple of years and even more so when Michelle and I hear our faith questioned from time to time," the president said Thursday, referring to his wife. "We are reminded that ultimately what matters is not what other people say about us but that we are true to our conscience and true to our God."

"When I wake in the morning, I wait on the Lord, I ask him to give me the strength to do right by our country and our people," Obama said later. "And when I go to bed at night, I wait on the Lord and I ask him to forgive me my sins and to look after my family and to make me an instrument of the Lord."

The address was televised and streamed live on the White House website.

The White House denied that the speech is a response to public misperceptions about Obama's religion.

"He's a committed Christian, one who takes his faith very seriously," said a White House official. "There may be misunderstanding and some folks who attack his faith, but at the end of the day the American people know who he is and where he stands."

Related:

* CREW calls on President, members of Congress to skip National Prayer Breakfast; protest tomorrow

Suspect in David Kato's murder pulling 'gay panic' card, right-wing gloats

crossposted on Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters

There is now a suspect in the murder of Ugandan activist David Kato. What's more, he seem to be pulling an old anti-gay card, i.e. the "gay panic" defense:

A man whom police arrested yesterday on allegations of killing David Kato, a human rights activist, has reportedly told police that the deceased coerced him into sodomy.

 . . .Police spokesperson Judith Nabakooba said the suspect had been hiding in Nakabago village, Mukono District. “It is true the suspect has been arrested but we need to record his statement first before giving a formal statement,” Ms Nabakooba said yesterday. But a police source, who preferred anonymity because he is not authorised to talk to the press, said the suspect confessed to killing Kato because he was reportedly tired of engaging in homosexual practices.

“We have taken him to Mukono Magistrate’s Court to record an extrajudicial statement,” the source said. “He told us that he killed Kato after he failed to give him a car, a house and money he promised as rewards for having sex with him,” the source said.

 . . . The suspect allegedly told the police he got tired of having sex with Kato but the latter would not have any of his excuses. “The suspect said he left the bedroom, went to a store and picked a hammer which he used to hit him [Kato] while he was still in bed,” the source said. The death of Kato was condemned by the international community as an attack on the gay community.

Doesn't this man's claims remind you of the initial claims of Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson, the murderers of Matthew Shepard?

Oh he hit on us.

We were so upset because that homosexual was making advances upon us.

We felt threatened.

In other words, it's the old tired story again - i.e. the dirty nasty fa@!* got what he deserved because he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Meanwhile, some on the right seem to be taking this moment to engage in a bit of unrestrained, un-Christian, and HIGHLY improvable gloating.

Take the Liberty Counsel's Matt Barber for instance:

So in  Barber's world, a country (Uganda) having a history of persecuting lgbts should be believed when it claims that brutal murder of one of these lgbts - who just happened to be speaking out against said persecution - was the possible result of a "lover's quarrel."

Okay.

You see that's the thing I love about Barber. No matter how much he talks about "redemption through Christianity" and "love of Jesus," you can always count on his horns and tail to come through.

He would do well to remember Matthew 7:16: "You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?

And while we are in the field of right-wing vitriol, Scott Lively - whose appearance in Uganda two years ago most likely helped to lead to where we are now - published a piece yesterday entitled "Murder in Uganda." 

It's not exactly pro-lgbt:

Uganda is being murdered. The nation once called “The Pearl of Africa” by Winston Churchill, a lush and beautiful country as fertile as the Nile Delta.

. . .The murderers are the lavender Marxists, the now-global network of sexual revolutionaries bent on remaking the entire world in their own perverted image, whose juggernaut has toppled even once mighty Britain, crushing under their lavender boots after eight centuries the symbol of its Christian power: the Magna Carta, whose first principle had proclaimed “The English church must be free!”

These revolutionists of Sodom, who march triumphantly through all the major cities of the western world to flaunt their defeat of moral law, and who hold both Hollywood and the heart of America’s president in their iron grip: These very same zealots have fixed their malevolent gaze on Christian Uganda.

So much for his whiny attempts at playing defense last week. Lively seems to think that the coast is clear for him to embrace the homophobia he employed during his trip to Uganda two years ago, the same trip which led to the climate that led to Kato's murder.

I don't know what possessed Lively and Barber to make their statements, but what I do know is this:

I don't think Jesus exists in their worlds.

Or at least not the version many of us have been brought up to believe in and love.

New Jersey-based National Organization for Marriage caught calling into Maryland

The hate group National Organization for Marriage (NOM) is making long-distance calls into Maryland.  Makes one hopeful that they're not getting much love from Maryland's state legislators because if they were, they wouldn't spend money on long-distance telephone surveys push polls.  This is from an e-mail a Marylander sent me:

I came home tonight (Tuesday night) to find a voicemail message from the National Organization for Marriage. Here's the text of what was said:

This survey concerns one of the most important issues in Maryland and the nation - the institution of marriage.  Do you believe marriage should only be legal between one man and one woman?

It then went on to say it wasn't a survey from a candidate, but from NOM, and their number is 609-688-0450.  I called them back, hoping to give them my survey answer but their offices were closed. The voicemail message I got listed a CA office, a NJ office, a NH office and a National Office.

That phone number, 609-688-0450, is NOM's main contact number.  Area code 609 is from New Jersey, where NOM is headquartered.  Isn't there a law against sending toxic sludge across state lines?  NOM's motto: Have anti-gay animus, will travel!

Marylanders wishing to respond with a pro-equality message to their legislators can do so by clicking here.

Arthur Goldberg--Ex-Gay Gone Wild Aided by the Media

Reposted from A Musing. 

I don't often get heated in media appearances, but when faced with the outrageous, one needs to express outrage. Last night I appeared as one of several guests on Wellness for the REAL World with Dr. Veronica Anderson, an Internet program on Blog Talk Radio. It aired live, and is available on demand here. The topic? When a Straight Couple finds out One is Gay.

Kiri Blakeley talked about her 10 year relationship with a man who ultimately came out gay. Bonnie Kaye, who discovered her husband was gay, has also written about that experience. On the show Bonnie spoke pointed out the unnecessary pain and suffering many couples face because of an unworkable marriage pressed on them by homophobia and the imbalanced value society places on heterosexual marriage. Similar to my own story, Joseph Knudson also shared about living as a gay man in a straight relationship.

Arthur Goldberg, co-director of JONAH (Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality) and a supporter of other anti-gay* groups like People Can Change, also appeared. And this is when I felt outrage. Goldberg was a last minute addition to the program. The producer told me that they wanted to get all sides of the story. That may sound reasonable particularly if the topic is a political issue with opposing opinions, but in the case of gay-to-straight conversion, having guests who represent "both sides of the issue" creates a false dichotomy as if we are looking at two equal sides of an issues.  In this case the sides are reason and madness--health and harm--sound medical practice versus quakery performed by unlicensed and untrained religiously motivated bigots.

Imagine this scenario. A local school has been rocked with an epidemic of drug abuse resulting in the hospitalization of students because of unknown dangerous chemicals added to the drugs. Parents suffer as their children live at risk of exposure to drug dealers selling a potentially life-threatening substance. A local TV chat program decides to air an episode to highlight the issue. They bring in parents, children directly affected, and a teacher. Then to show all sides of the issue--they also bring on one of the drug dealers to talk about how happy his customers are with his product and allude to studies that suggest that his drugs help people. I don't think so. For the health and well being of the community and the listeners, a drug dealer selling dangerously laced drugs does not get a public platform to push his junk.

See this is not about "airing all sides." It is about responsible and accurate reporting. Theories and treatments that suggest it is wrong to be gay and that some sort of "cure" is possible put people at risk of real harm. As the program last night highlighted, one of the risks comes to straight people, particularly women, who marry gay men trying to be straight. The harms to bisexual, gay, lesbian, transgender, and gender non-conforming individuals are great. For this reason the American Psychological Association and ever major medical association have denounced ex-gay treatments.

After hearing Kiri, Bonnie, and me speak about the real suffering we experienced, the devastating situations we endured, Arthur Goldberg made no reference to any of it. He simply launched into a string of misinformation about supposed studies that prove "thousands of people" have changed their sexual orientation. To add insult to injury, one of the co-hosts asked Goldberg to share in greater detail his faulty theories and practices. After which Arthur Goldberg disingenuously tried to convince the hosts (and perhaps himself) that he was not anti-gay, that he took a neutral stance on the issue all the while explaining that gays are gay because of emotional misshaping.

Exodus International, the large anti-gay organization just put out a video commercial advertising their Love One Out conference, an event that serves to reinforce the harmful notion to parents and pastors that it is wrong to be gay (or bi, lesbian, or trans) and that gay people can and should change. As Evan Hurst has pointed out, the Exodus ad offers up images of sad homosexuals looking forlorn and tragic. The message they attempt to portray is that being gay sucks. But juxtaposed to the sad queers  they display images of happy homosexuals like Neil Patrick Harris with his partner and their children, and out and proud gay Christian singer Ray Boltz. Exodus undermines its own message. In fact, the message they are inadvertently communicating is that being ex-gay sucks. Trying to suppress your gay side, living to please others, engaging in an inauthentic life filled with self-loathing and violence towards one's desires result in pain and suffering.

Like Arthur Goldberg in last night's program, Exodus and its leader, Alan Chambers, have never directly addressed the suffering of the majority of their former clients who experienced harm at the hands of ex-gay ministers and reparative therapists. Even by Exodus' own rosy estimation, at least 70% of people who go through the doors of their ministries come out gay. The treatment fails.

But what happens to these people? Does Exodus know? Do they care? They do know because we have communicated to them directly and on-line (see Beyond Ex-Gay) about the devastating results of  their "care." Former Exodus leaders have publicly renounced the work of Exodus and offered apologies.

Many of us have suffered for years needing expensive therapy to undo the faulty treatment we received at the hands of misinformed ministers and counselors. Wasted years, wasted dollars, lost opportunities. Most of us have worked through the pain and confusion and ultimately came out and reclaimed our lives. But it takes work and sadly there are also many casualties that experience the negative psychological, emotional, and spiritual affects of Chamber's and Goldberg's teaching for the rest of their lives. With work, proper care, and a willingness to embrace reality, we grow healthy, well-adjusted, and yes, happy--content in being authentic.

Dr. Veronica Anderson and her co-host, Russell Cook failed by bringing Arthur Goldberg onto a program ironically called, Wellness for the REAL World. Fortunately the other guest spoke with clarity, knowledge, and truth. I guess one might say that by hearing the madness of Arthur Goldberg, listeners will only get more convinced that ex-gay treatment is a bad idea. Perhaps, but Goldberg, like Chambers and other dishonest propagandists for the anti-gay religious movement, expertly weave in falsehoods into every sentence. They have been proven unreliable witnesses who do not deserve invitations to public platforms. They have their blogs and conferences to share their message to those with itching ears to hear it. I say leave the rest of us out of it.

*  "anti-gay" because ex-gay is a misnomer. Really groups like Exodus, JONAH, NARTH, Living Waters, etc seek to annihilate gayness in individuals and in some cases in society by supporting anti-gay legislation. As someone who lived 17 years in that "ex-gay" world and in religious groups that feared gay rights, I understand that the basis of much of the ex-gay theories and practices are really anti-gay.

Utah: Bigoted State Representative LaVar Christensen introduces 'Family Policy' bill

From Pride in Utah, another serving of homobigotry from the Right, dressed up as "pro-family" legislation. As if the wingers in Utah need to stroke themselves with bills like this.

Extremist and anti-gay Representative LaVar Christensen has just introduced House Bill 270, called the "Family Policy" bill. The language includes the State affirming marriage as "ordained by god" between a man and a woman.

The language of the bill states:

as the public policy of Utah, that a family, consisting of a legally and

14 lawfully married man and woman and their children, is the fundamental unit of

15 society; and

16 requires that publicly funded social programs, government services, laws, and

17 regulations designed to support families be carefully scrutinized to ensure that they

18 promote the family.

And as if we needed any more proof that LaVar Christensen and his Sutherland Institute cronies have never actually read the constitution, it also says, "Marriage and family predate all governments and are supported by and consistent with the Laws of Nature and Nature's God, the Creator and Supreme Judge of the World."

Welcome back to the dark ages folks. I'm still going through the details of the bill, but it appears that it doesn't actually effect any actual policies, but rather is a typical Utah GOP 'Message Bill' designed to garner favor with the most extreme 1% of the population. Utah already has a constitutional amendment (Amendment 3) which prohibits same sex marriage, civil unions or any governmental recognition similar to marriage in the state.

Even a constitutional amendment doesn't stop the haters from pounding on taxpaying, same-sex couples there.