Pam Spaulding's Blog, page 95

No Super Bowl for us - it's SVU Man-a-thon.

We're not watching the Super Bowl (and missed the Puppy Bowl, lol). Instead we're tuned in to the SVU Man-a-thon . Fave episode so far today: " Denial (2002)," guest starring Martha Plimpton (who deservedly was nominated for an Emmy as Claire Rinato), Claire Rinato: What's that?

Odafin Tutuola: Your last excuse not to go to rehab. No more lame-ass whining about how you gotta get high to remember what your sister looked like.

(Claire takes the package and unwraps it to find a portrait of Lisa [her baby sister, killed by one of the characters in the ep.]) Claire Rinato: I would hug you, but I can tell you don't like to be touched.



Odafin Tutuola: (handing her a card) This is a good place to go to start getting clean. A friend of mine runs it and I told him to expect you.

Claire Rinato: Okay.



Odafin Tutuola: Don't make me have to come run your ass down, Claire.



Claire Rinato: (hugs Fin) Thanks.

***

Anyway, so who is actually watching the Super Bowl for the commercials and not the game? What will the stand-out ads be?

***

Last night I saw a news clip about the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet, and something called the Lingerie Bowl (don't know what channel is airing that). The latter looked so absurd - chicks running around in helmets and above-the-waist football gear, with their posteriors in boy-short underwear "clashing" on the field.

NC: Gay couple harassed for a year, driven from home - then house gutted by fire; ruled arson

LGBTs living in welcoming environs, some even with myriad legal protections on the books, sometimes take for granted that elsewhere in the U.S. you can be vilified at such a level that your very lives are in danger for just living in your neighborhood minding your own business.

A gay couple in my state, living in Clayton (Johnston County, as you can see on the map, not far from Raleigh), suffered a year-long harassment campaign by neighbors, according to another resident who is afraid to even state her support for the couple. If that wasn't bad enough, their house has just been burned to a crisp; it has been ruled arson by authorities. (WRAL):

A neighbor, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of backlash against her, said there have been at least three separate incidents of anti-gay harassment at the home. A note with derogatory language was left in the mailbox, an anti-gay slur was written on the house with marker, and the tires of a car parked in the garage were slashed, the neighbor said.

"For this to happen here... it's heartbreaking," she said. "I can't even put into words how horrible it is for them."

Bizzell confirmed that the sheriff's office was aware of two of those incidents, but would not say which two. He would not confirm whether they are related to the arson investigation.

"I felt sick to my stomach. I felt so sorry for the two gentlemen. They lost everything," the couple's friend and neighbor said. "We do believe that this is a hate crime."

For god's sake, people. No one deserves to be driven from their home by thuggish homophobes afraid to show their faces, perpetrating terrorism -- yes, this is terrorism, a hate crime.

The Red Cross is helping the couple through this trauma, supplying the victims with food, clothes as well as contacts for insurance.

In our legislature, the lawmaker representing Johnston County (District 12) is Sen. David Rouzer (R, email: David.Rouzer@ncleg.net). What does he think about constituents that have been driven out of their home because of bigotry?

Hat tip, LezGetReal

The most delusional tweet of the day, courtesy of Bam Bam Barber

@jmattbarber: Liberals went to great lengths to portray Bush as stupid. Conservatives? Obama's doing our work for us. #tcot #tlot #p2 #teaparty

***

Feel free to use as an open thread...

When a rabid wolf (Michelle Malkin) defends a homophobic chicken

crossposted on Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters

I hadn't written about the Chick-Fil-A controversy nor had I made any actions regarding it, other than refusing to eat at Chick-Fil-A.

But since a certain rabid columnnist - Michele Malkin -  is trying to distort the situation, I figure why not jump in.

Here is the tale:

It's been discovered that Chick-Fil-A has ties to anti-gay advocates, including the National Organization for Marriage. According to the New York Times:

  . . .the company’s operators, its WinShape Foundation and the Cathy family have given millions of dollars to a variety of causes and programs, including scholarships that require a pledge to follow Christian values, a string of Christian-based foster homes and groups working to defeat same-sex marriage initiatives.

It also owns a retreat center.

According to Jeremy Hooper from Goodasyou.org:

 . . . this is the same retreat center that hosts an annual Marriage Comission seminar, featuring invited guests like Maggie Gallagher, Jennifer Roback Morse, Focus on the Family president Jim Daly, and many more who fight in the public square against equality for gay people. A seminar where Chick-Fil-A higher ups both speak and receive personal shout outs (see videos of that here). At a retreat that was born out of Chick-Fil-A profits: Profits you contribute to anytime you eat at one of the chain's many locations.

This retreat center explicitly bans lgbts.

So is this fair? Of course it is. Chick-Fil-A is a private company and has the right to do what it wants.

 

But - and herein lies the rub -  lgbts also have a right to decide where NOT to spend our money. Furthermore we and our allies have a right to make a stink in regards to a company who wants us to buy its product, but not afford us respect.

However, in a recently syndicated column, conservative Michelle Malkin makes us sound like jackbooted thugs. Of course she should know the true definition of the term based some of her blog fans.

In this case, she is way off the mark - which is saying a lot for her. She whines that lgbts are undertaking mob type practices and actually accuses The New York Times of running a hit piece on Chick-Fil-A.

This is because The New York Times had the "audacity" to look at the issue in an objective manner, garnering opinions from both sides.

No doubt this confuses Malkin, seeing that her definition of good news coverage is probably Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, or Laura Ingraham huffing and puffing on Fox News and interrupting those who lodge a different viewpoint from conservative talking points. After all, Malkin is a "contributor" there too.

The irony of Malkin's silly piece is that it ran on the phony news site One News Now, which is owned by the American Family Association. The American Family Association has made a name for itself by boycotting businesses, including Pepsi, Home Depot, and McDonald's.

In other words, Malkin wouldn't even have some of the audience she does now if it weren't for boycotts.

I doubt, however that she will appreciate the irony of the situation.

I think irony is a word lost on Malkin (much like other words such as integrity, truth, accuracy, etc. etc.)

Long Of Tooth, Short Of Tooth -- Or Something Like Those

Hi Blenders,

If you've been wondering where my diaries and commentaries have been of late, "we" (in the royal sense of me!)  can attribute this up to being long of tooth, short of tooth, or something like those.

In the long of tooth sense  -- long of tooth being a phrase referring to getting older -- I am getting older, and subject to the ravages effects of age on my body. In the short of tooth sense, I had a molar removed about two weeks ago because a filling had fallen out of it, and there wasn't enough tooth left to fill it again.

In the "Why haven't you been writing of late?", I've had dry socket. My dentist told me yesterday it's one of the two worst cases of dry socket he's seen since he was hired by the Veterans Administration -- the other case ended up being a jaw infection being coupled with the dry socket. Needless to say, I've been in a significant amount of pain for this past two weeks, and prescription Percocet has been addressing the pain only in a limited way.

I've been to the dentist four times already over the tooth, and go back again gawd-awful early Monday morning for a fifth trip. A sixth trip is highly likely.

So I'm sorta long of tooth, more than sorta short of a tooth, and in a real sense have been out of it. What energy I've had most of the past two weeks has been directed at just getting through the mundane aspects of life -- such as buying groceries, paying the bills, trying to get some sleep and rest between the bouts of excruciating pain, and trying to make sure I intake enough food to heal -- and not to writing for Pam's House Blend.

Hopefully I'll be back to writing soon, but in the meantime:

Ooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!

Warmest thoughts,

~~Autumn~~

Page scandal-ridden former Rep. Mark Foley on 'comeback' trail, speaks to Young Republicans

The "You cannot make this sh*t" up" news of the day, via Mediate:

Oh, irony. Mark Foley, the Florida congressman who left his job in 2006 after reports he'd sent a series of sexually-charged emails to young men who were former Congressional pages, is back on the political scene. The Palm Beach Post reports Foley headlined a weekend meeting of Palm Beach County's Young Republicans. The choice of Foley as a speaker for an audience of young people resulted in criticism when the announcement was made in Florida, with one critic turning to Twitter with the message "have you people lost your minds?"

Palm Beach Post:

Foley spoke to a Palm Beach County Young Republicans meeting last week -- his first time headlining a GOP event since his resignation -- and on Tuesday he introduced new U.S. Rep. Allen West, R-Plantation, at the grand opening of West's district office in West Palm Beach.

Foley's resignation over sexually charged e-mails to male former congressional pages came less than six weeks before the 2006 midterm elections. Many Republicans said Foley's disgrace contributed to the Democratic wave that swept away GOP control of the House and Senate that year.

There was criticism when the Young Republicans announced via Twitter and Facebook that Foley would be speaking at last week's meeting in West Palm Beach.

"Have you people lost your minds?" one critic tweeted.

But Young Republicans President Jackie Fay said Foley was a hit.

"He was amazing. Charismatic. He has a great message and touched on so many different things and seamlessly did it," Fay said. "He's enthralling to listen to."

Let's review with  a little flashback:

Maf54: You in your boxers, too?

Teen: Nope, just got home. I had a college interview that went late.

Maf54: Well, strip down and get relaxed.

Another message:

Maf54: What ya wearing?

Teen: tshirt and shorts

Maf54: Love to slip them off of you.

And this one:

Maf54: Do I make you a little horny?

Teen: A little.

Maf54: Cool.

The language gets much more graphic, too graphic to be broadcast, and at one point the congressman appears to be describing Internet sex.

Blasts from the past:

* Foley patted male page's behind on House floor

* Three more pages speak to ABC about Foley's 'approaches'

* Foley interrupted floor vote to have cybersex with page

* Page threatened, Foley still using AOL screen name

* Report: Drunken Foley showed up at page's dorm

Craig Ferguson, transmockery and the reality of bias in new report, 'Injustice at Every Turn'

The transgender community, already marginalized and misunderstood by the heterosexual and LGB communities, finds itself again mocked and derided in late night comedy (see SNL's Estro-maxx skit).

In this case, it's CBS's Craig Ferguson, who thought this sketch was a knee-slapper for viewers (MetroWeekly):

The sketch featured Ferguson's "half-sister" -- played by a man -- coming out in a skirt and female's shirt, with an oddly painted face appearing to suggest significant facial hair. The first "gag" was her apparently showing male genitalia as she sat down -- to "eww" gasps from the audience.

Ferguson continued forward, mocking at several points that his "half-sister" was sexually unappealing, saying, for example, that no one wanted her in a date auction. There also were repeated negative references to Ferguson's "half-sister" masturbating.

Ferguson also went so far as to include a "he-she" reference at one point.

Oh. my, god. That was painful to watch. Never mind transmockery, this is a foul transminstrel skit. The amazing amount of (sweetened) laughter makes me sick.

For those of you who are ready to wail "you have no sense of humor" or a variation on "get a life," many, many Americans do not personally know someone who is trans to feel any empathy, disappointment, let alone outrage at this kind of bad taste/mockery. It would be different if trans folk had numerous examples of positive images projected in mainstream society. The fact is, we're just not there yet for this kind of display of "humor" to be acceptable. And I'm sure many will disagree.

The issue isn't whether Ferguson is gay/gay-friendly, it's that he's apparently blissfully unaware how few people know someone trans. For too many people they see "camp drag" and people in transition as the same thing. In the present day our society is only starting to understand or explore the impact gender non-conformity on our culture. And it's a culture that likes to draw distinct gender lines. I think skits like  this reflect, in my opinion, the continuing clash with any acceptance of MTF transition (notice MTFs are primarily the butt of these jokes). That's not random, that's the not-so-buried misogyny. The ignorant belief that your gender not what's between your legs, but what's between your ears. We have way too many folks out there, particularly  squeamish men, who ask themselves and anyone who will hear them, "why a man would want to be a woman" (while holding their cojones). And the bias is real.

Case in point - the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) released a comprehensive new report yesterday, "Injustice at Every Turn" (summary, full report) that outlines the findings in the National Transgender Discrimination Survey (NTDS). This is the first national comprehensive study of its kind, based on responses from over 6,450 participants.

Perhaps Mr. Ferguson should be emailed a copy to read. He would learn how reinforcing bias through imagery continues to foment discrimination against transgender and gender non-conforming people in a wide range of areas, including education, health care, employment, and housing. From the report:

Respondents were nearly four times more likely to live in extreme poverty, with household income of less than $10,000.Respondents were twice as likely to be unemployed compared to the population as a whole. Half of those surveyed reported experiencing harassment or other mistreatment in the workplace, and one in four were fired because of their gender identity or expression.While discrimination was pervasive for the entire sample, it was particularly pronounced for people of color. African-American transgender respondents fared far worse than all others in many areas studied.Housing discrimination was also common. 19% reported being refused a home or apartment and 11% reported being evicted because of their gender identity or expression. One in five respondents experienced homelessness because of their gender identity or expression.An astonishing 41% of respondents reported attempting suicide, compared to only 1.6% of the general population.Discrimination in health care and poor health outcomes were frequently experienced by respondents. 19% reported being refused care due to bias against transgender or gender-nonconforming people, with this figure even higher for respondents of color. Respondents also had over four times the national average of HIV infection.Harassment by law enforcement was reported by 22% of respondents and nearly half were uncomfortable seeking police assistance.Despite the hardships they often face, transgender and gender non-conforming persons persevere. Over 78% reported feeling more comfortable at work and their performance improving after transitioning, despite the same levels of harassment in the workplace.

Said Rea Carey, Executive Director of the Task Force: "By shedding light on the discrimination that transgender Americans face, this study poses a challenge to us all. No one should be out of a job, living in poverty, or faced with sub-par health care simply because of their gender identity or expression. The scope of the problem is clear, and now we must come together to solve it."

Said Mara Keisling, Executive Director of NCTE: "Reading these results is heartbreaking on a personal level-each of these facts and figures represents pain and hardship endured by real people, every single day. This survey is a call to the conscience of every American who believes that everyone has the right to a fair chance to work hard, to have a roof overhead, and to support a family. Equality, not discrimination, is the ideal that Americans believe in, have fought for, and need to apply here."

MetroWeekly's Chris Geidner noted that in the skit the "half-sister" noted: "If CBS really cared, they wouldn't broadcast this crap every night." Sorry, guys, if that was supposed to be the CYA to mitigate this tripe, your plumber's posterior is still showing.

UPDATE: Over at Facebook, the defense of Ferguson begins, primarily based on the fact that as a Brit, this sort of drag stuff is sort of a wink on the matter, as a cultural icebreaker. Well that's fine and dandy across the pond, but based on Americans' ability to deal with any sophistication about race, I doubt the majority of Americans will be convinced that was parody - it was simply funny to them. If we can't even get ENDA on the freaking table because of the "bathroom fears" or "men in dresses teaching our kids" hesitancy, this kind of skit doesn't help, IMHO. Maybe Craig needs to have some trans guests on to actually "break the ice" - that would go a long way, in the absence of so little balance.

But it's his show; he's not obligated to balance anything. And he's also not free from criticism.

Related:

* Memorializing: International Transgender Day of Remembrance

Completely self-indulgent news dept: I have another nephew!

My brother (below left, circa 1971) and my sister-in-law are the parents of Mr. E. (below right, taken Oct 2010).

Today they welcomed Mr. C (below) into the world.

Mr. C: Born 7:36AM ET. 7 lbs, 10 oz, 19 inches, and a head full of dark curly hair.

NOM gets pwned.

 

The conservatives' facile understanding of the workings of the internets came back to bit them in the ass again yesterday.

Blogger Zach Weiner who runs Weinerworks received word that National Organization For Marriage had hotlinked to a cartoon he'd posted. In other words, they directly emedded the photo straight from his site's server. As Zach says, "whatever image their computer requests from my computer, their computer gets," based on the file name.

Seems Weiners is not exactly on page with NOM's radical extermist agenda to keep the gays out of marriage, so he updated the image on his server. Suddenly, the inconvenient words of a founding father appeared on NOM's blog, with a rainbow flag.

There seems to be this idea out there that action through the Internet has no important effect. Even people I really respect, like Jon Stewart, promote this idea. Well, today, I probably got a message of equality to over 100,000 people, among them members of the other side. This generation fights in a new way, but we fight just as hard.

Well done, Mr. Weiner, keep fighting. Read more here.

"She has been treated poorly by adults we trust to help mold and teach our child."

Today is the 100th Day of School. As such, Safe Schools Action Network has encouraged bloggers to participate in a day of awareness of the problem to unsafe environments in our schools. The message: "100 Days Without Safe Schools Is 100 Days Of Bullying."

Today, we're pleased to invite the mother of Ceara Sturgis to share her story with The Blend. Ceara made nation news when her Mississippi high school refused to print her Senior photo in the year book because she did not conform to appropriate gender expression, in their view. CNN covers the story here.

By: Veronica Kurtz Rodriguez Mother of Ceara Strugis

When I was going into 6th grade my family moved to Guam. I was picked on for being white. I was like, "DUH, I was born this way I didn't have a choice in the matter."

Fast forward to Ceara. When she was in 4th or 5th grade she realized she was gay. I didn't find out till she was in 9th grade. Her friends accepted her with a little time but some of the teachers and even the principle were the ones giving her a hard time.

Now, these are the adults that spend a majority time with our children teaching a molding them into productive adults. What are they teaching is how to think that if you're different in any way you're less worthy.

Ceara is gay she is more comfortable in boys' clothing and decided to wear a tux for her Sr. picture. She was omitted from being with the other Sr's in the yearbook. She has gone to Wesson Attendance Center since Kindergarten. Played sports made straight A's been on the honor roll since 1st grade, marched in the band and supported that school who refused to support her.

When she told me she was gay she asked did I hate her or was I mad. I grabbed her hugged her and said NEVER! She is my daughter I love her with all my heart. I was scared how people would treat her because of ignorance. My fears are well founded she has been treated poorly by adults we trust to help mold and teach our children. We need to educate the faculty to be more aware of how they are damaging our children.

It is far better to love than to hate! I love you Ceara and am so proud of you! You have taught me unconditional love! May you teach someone else. Thank you Extremely Proud Mom of a gay daughter!--Veronica

 

For more on the issue of safe schools and what we can do, see my earlier post, or check out Safe School Action Network, or GLSEN.