Ceara Comeau's Blog: Lessons From A Struggling Writer - Posts Tagged "struggle"
Love is in the Air
For most retail stores and card companies, February is the month of love. To the normal population, Valentine’s Day is the one day out of the year where we show those in our lives just how much we love them. Now, if you’re like me, it’s really just another day. But this year was different. No, I didn’t exchange cards or get flowers. Instead, I thought a lot about what that day really meant to me.
As a struggling author, every week brings its whole new sets of challenges whether it be financial or an insufferable writer’s block. If I’m really unlucky, I get multiple challenges in one week and they become unbearable. It’s during these times that I’m especially hard on myself thinking I need to do better at writing or beg for more hours at my part-time job. But the truth is, it wouldn’t matter if my writing was better or if I worked 40+ hours a week. Kindness is really what matters, better yet—love matters.
Even as I write this, I feel myself cringe a bit for in this past week I can count on one hand the times I’ve been nice to myself. Every artist will tell you, they’re their own worst critic. And it’s so true. I often think that’s because it lessens the blow when others criticize us. We’ve hardened ourselves against harsh words and derogatory comments that we just don’t know how to show love to ourselves. This plays such a huge impact on our minds and emotions that self-criticism can either drive us forward or slam us against the ground. There is a medium that many of us, myself included, fail to meet.
And that’s what I learned this month. February isn’t just the month for love, it should be a constant thing in our lives. Showing a little love to ourselves and, yes, a little patience can dramatically turn things around.
As a struggling author, every week brings its whole new sets of challenges whether it be financial or an insufferable writer’s block. If I’m really unlucky, I get multiple challenges in one week and they become unbearable. It’s during these times that I’m especially hard on myself thinking I need to do better at writing or beg for more hours at my part-time job. But the truth is, it wouldn’t matter if my writing was better or if I worked 40+ hours a week. Kindness is really what matters, better yet—love matters.
Even as I write this, I feel myself cringe a bit for in this past week I can count on one hand the times I’ve been nice to myself. Every artist will tell you, they’re their own worst critic. And it’s so true. I often think that’s because it lessens the blow when others criticize us. We’ve hardened ourselves against harsh words and derogatory comments that we just don’t know how to show love to ourselves. This plays such a huge impact on our minds and emotions that self-criticism can either drive us forward or slam us against the ground. There is a medium that many of us, myself included, fail to meet.
And that’s what I learned this month. February isn’t just the month for love, it should be a constant thing in our lives. Showing a little love to ourselves and, yes, a little patience can dramatically turn things around.
Be Kind
Events canceled, sales dropping, and creativity plummeting. For most of us writers and artists, this sounds like a typical day in 2020. We’re all still working on our craft, whatever it may be, but for some of my fellow “vendor” friends, they have had to close up shop as their work was their only means of paying the bills.
I gotta tell you, that was a hard thing to hear from one event this year. And I felt very sad for those individuals. It got me thinking about my own work and what I do. Now, if you’ve been following my blog posts, you probably already know that writing isn’t my main job. It’s something I do on the side. For the longest time, I wanted it to be a full-time thing (which I’m still striving for), but this year has really re-confirmed a valuable lesson. It’s okay to have a 9-5 to support your dreams.
This was the HARDEST lesson for me to learn. And, again with past blogs, I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before. But what I haven’t mentioned is how grateful I am to have this job. I’ve been working in retail part-time for a year and recently have been promoted to a manager position for full-time work. This year has got me realizing just how lucky I am. Yes, some days are better than others, but that’s how it is in life, whether you’re working that 9-5 or working on your craft.
“So, how’s your writing going?” I get asked this question a lot. Some days I guiltily reply, “It’s slow.” (which is code for…writing? What writing? Oh yeah, I do that whole pen and paper thing.”) Then, there are other days, where I’ll be writing several paragraphs down and I’m so proud of myself.
Guys, the world we live in right now is a challenging one, to say the least, regardless of your occupation. What my rambling is trying to convey is…don’t do what I did at the beginning of all this. Be patient with yourself in what your dreams are. It’s okay if your book, painting, or composition isn’t done as quickly as the last one. I guarantee you that no one out there is counting down the seconds until your art is done (unless you have a commission due in a week and you haven’t started sketches…that’s an entirely different story and I can’t help you there). People will understand if you’re a little behind and I’m not saying that because as I write this I feel behind.
We all have lives outside of our projects and 9-5, you just have to remember to be gentle and kind with yourself. After all, your emotions will show in your work!
I gotta tell you, that was a hard thing to hear from one event this year. And I felt very sad for those individuals. It got me thinking about my own work and what I do. Now, if you’ve been following my blog posts, you probably already know that writing isn’t my main job. It’s something I do on the side. For the longest time, I wanted it to be a full-time thing (which I’m still striving for), but this year has really re-confirmed a valuable lesson. It’s okay to have a 9-5 to support your dreams.
This was the HARDEST lesson for me to learn. And, again with past blogs, I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before. But what I haven’t mentioned is how grateful I am to have this job. I’ve been working in retail part-time for a year and recently have been promoted to a manager position for full-time work. This year has got me realizing just how lucky I am. Yes, some days are better than others, but that’s how it is in life, whether you’re working that 9-5 or working on your craft.
“So, how’s your writing going?” I get asked this question a lot. Some days I guiltily reply, “It’s slow.” (which is code for…writing? What writing? Oh yeah, I do that whole pen and paper thing.”) Then, there are other days, where I’ll be writing several paragraphs down and I’m so proud of myself.
Guys, the world we live in right now is a challenging one, to say the least, regardless of your occupation. What my rambling is trying to convey is…don’t do what I did at the beginning of all this. Be patient with yourself in what your dreams are. It’s okay if your book, painting, or composition isn’t done as quickly as the last one. I guarantee you that no one out there is counting down the seconds until your art is done (unless you have a commission due in a week and you haven’t started sketches…that’s an entirely different story and I can’t help you there). People will understand if you’re a little behind and I’m not saying that because as I write this I feel behind.
We all have lives outside of our projects and 9-5, you just have to remember to be gentle and kind with yourself. After all, your emotions will show in your work!
Unpopular Opinion
When I’m not writing, researching, or reading, I find myself watching movies. Now, I like a variety of movies and often I find myself watching ones that are inspiring—such as heroic feats during historic times. But there’s one type of inspirational movie, in particular, that I’ve grown to dislike over the years.
These types of movies follow a famous person’s life from where they started to how they got to be so successful. Many of these movies show them being at rock bottom and then finding a big break, but I feel that in some ways the movie almost glamorizes the struggle the individual had to go through to get to where they are. And, it also can give a false impression that in order to be successful, one must struggle.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “starving artist”, and so many artists identify with this. In fact, I used to see myself as this nearly four years ago.
I was starting a new life with my husband, we were moving into a new place, and I was free to write and do anything I wanted to do with my art. I had it in my mind that I was going to live off my writing and hope that someday I’d make a big break and be found by someone who wanted to invest in my story ideas.
Sounds a bit fantastical, doesn’t it? Well, at the time I thought it was foolproof. Sure, I didn’t have a lot of money, but in the back of my mind, I was content with having so little because I was so certain I’d get a lucky break.
Well, let me tell you, that didn’t happen. In fact, I ran so low on money that I had maybe a couple hundred to my name and it was at this point, I realized the “starving artist” life wasn’t for me. I needed money if I was going to keep going to comic cons. I needed money if I was going to advertise my books well, and I needed money if I was going to upgrade my cover designs.
So, I started working a 9-5, something that I swore I wouldn’t do. And, I’m still working that same 9-5 three years later. Is it my favorite job? Absolutely not. I still want to pursue my artistic endeavors, but I need a constant paycheck to do that.
I’ve been asked before, “Well, if you don’t like this job look for something better.”
Sure, I could look for something completely different, the problem is I don’t want to. I don’t want to be a career 9-5, I want something that will help propel me into what I’d like to do. I’ve met other “starving artists” who are in the same boat that I was all those years ago. I see them make the same mistakes that I did. On the flip side, I see other artists still working that 9-5 while pursuing their dreams.
See, I realized that unless I lived in NYC or California and just happened to meet a rich investor, the likelihood of getting that lucky break is so slim, I would have a better chance of winning the lottery. Now, please don’t get me wrong, there are artists out there who are living well off their art. That’s fantastic, I applaud those people. But what I’m saying is, not everyone is able to do that immediately. It takes hard work, trial and error, and sometimes you have to take a few steps back. Maybe you have to go back to the beginning a few times.
But looking back, I’m so glad I decided to do the 9-5 because it is so rewarding to see how far I’ve gone these past four years. I have gone from broke to successfully writing books, to now producing and creating films! I’m proverbially creating my own inspirational movie so that one day, maybe twenty years from now, I can look back on the person writing this post and be so proud of her determination.
These types of movies follow a famous person’s life from where they started to how they got to be so successful. Many of these movies show them being at rock bottom and then finding a big break, but I feel that in some ways the movie almost glamorizes the struggle the individual had to go through to get to where they are. And, it also can give a false impression that in order to be successful, one must struggle.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “starving artist”, and so many artists identify with this. In fact, I used to see myself as this nearly four years ago.
I was starting a new life with my husband, we were moving into a new place, and I was free to write and do anything I wanted to do with my art. I had it in my mind that I was going to live off my writing and hope that someday I’d make a big break and be found by someone who wanted to invest in my story ideas.
Sounds a bit fantastical, doesn’t it? Well, at the time I thought it was foolproof. Sure, I didn’t have a lot of money, but in the back of my mind, I was content with having so little because I was so certain I’d get a lucky break.
Well, let me tell you, that didn’t happen. In fact, I ran so low on money that I had maybe a couple hundred to my name and it was at this point, I realized the “starving artist” life wasn’t for me. I needed money if I was going to keep going to comic cons. I needed money if I was going to advertise my books well, and I needed money if I was going to upgrade my cover designs.
So, I started working a 9-5, something that I swore I wouldn’t do. And, I’m still working that same 9-5 three years later. Is it my favorite job? Absolutely not. I still want to pursue my artistic endeavors, but I need a constant paycheck to do that.
I’ve been asked before, “Well, if you don’t like this job look for something better.”
Sure, I could look for something completely different, the problem is I don’t want to. I don’t want to be a career 9-5, I want something that will help propel me into what I’d like to do. I’ve met other “starving artists” who are in the same boat that I was all those years ago. I see them make the same mistakes that I did. On the flip side, I see other artists still working that 9-5 while pursuing their dreams.
See, I realized that unless I lived in NYC or California and just happened to meet a rich investor, the likelihood of getting that lucky break is so slim, I would have a better chance of winning the lottery. Now, please don’t get me wrong, there are artists out there who are living well off their art. That’s fantastic, I applaud those people. But what I’m saying is, not everyone is able to do that immediately. It takes hard work, trial and error, and sometimes you have to take a few steps back. Maybe you have to go back to the beginning a few times.
But looking back, I’m so glad I decided to do the 9-5 because it is so rewarding to see how far I’ve gone these past four years. I have gone from broke to successfully writing books, to now producing and creating films! I’m proverbially creating my own inspirational movie so that one day, maybe twenty years from now, I can look back on the person writing this post and be so proud of her determination.
