Cilla McCain's Blog, page 8

Shaping DoD Policy by Giving a Voice to Bereaved Military Families

(U.S. Air Force photo/Staff Sgt. Tiffany Trojca)





Behind almost every veteran is a family whose life is shaped by their service. Military families are a unique breed of Americans. I don't think I've ever met an active duty military member who did not always have a bag packed and ready to go at a moment's notice. During periods of high alert, the bag is usually sitting by the front door; a constant reminder life could change instantly with one phone call. Too many times, that dreaded phone call places the family in a funeral procession. This was never more evident to me than during a recent trip to Arlington National Cemetery.



Considered by many to be the flagship of military burial grounds, Arlington holds at least 30 funerals each day, and its organizers have everything running like a well-oiled machine. While there, it was impossible to overlook all of the hearses, positioned along the smoothly paved roads, patiently waiting to deliver a deceased veteran to his or her final resting place. Moving quietly among the scene were the bereaved families. For the moment, they could feel some measure of comfort by the dignified presence of the Honor Guard who were there to guide them gently, yet firmly, through the paces of the day. But I knew after the flag was folded, those family members were going home to deal with all the stages of overwhelming grief with feelings of denial, confusion, anger and depression. Unfortunately, I also knew they likely would have to deal with a mental health system possessing very few clues as to how to help them. This is not surprising, because more than 6,500 deceased service members have left behind parents, spouses and children to cope in the aftermath of their death.



However, a bit of hope may be on the horizon. The Department of Defense has approved a groundbreaking study examining the unique grieving process of survivors. The National Military Family Bereavement Study is not only asking participants to complete a detailed questionnaire, but also to submit saliva samples for the purposes of DNA testing. The results of this five-year study will serve to shape national policies regarding mental health services for generations of military families. According to its website:

This study's findings will help to provide a scientific basis to inform policies effecting survivor care. This study seeks to better understand the impact of a service member's death on his or her family of origin and family of procreation. The study investigates the impact of community support and services on the bereaved and how available resources impact resilience or vulnerability in surviving families. Finally, this study builds on the growing evidence addressing the intersection of grief and trauma and its effects on military family member's bereavement process.

As for the optional DNA testing, its purpose is to identify biomarkers indicating how an individual grieves. For example, some survivors develop "complicated grief," and are unable to move through the phases of grief without a great deal of severity. In other words, a person may be predisposed to severe grief by their genetic makeup, and this cutting-edge science will allegedly provide clues. Another major difference in this study is that it is seeking participants from military families who are dealing with every cause of death resulting since 9/11.



This could be a positive step, according to Tracy Shue, founder of the organization Military Families for Justice, who believes that in addition to genetics, another contributing factor to complicated grief is the manner in which bereaved families are treated by the military justice system when they voice opposition to cause of death findings. She hopes all grieving family members will take the questionnaire, but suggests they use their own best judgment before submitting DNA: "This study is an opportunity for all bereaved military families to voice their grief, anger and frustration with an unfair Military System of Justice that has failed in providing them the necessary answers to appropriately grieve their loss and find closure."



The DNA aspect is not without its critics. Those interested in the study have expressed concern about how their DNA will be used, especially if they possess the biomarker that allegedly predisposes them to complicated grief. The website addresses these concerns in a list of frequently asked questions. Personally, I would not want to give my DNA to any government entity, as there are countless ways it can be leaked and misused.



It is rare for the Department of Defense to ask anyone how they feel in an effort to shape its policies. Maybe this is a positive step toward building a stronger military community and a stronger nation as a whole. Maybe in the future, when a folded flag is presented to a deceased veteran's next of kin, it won't also be the moment when the military's guidance and protection ends.

Letting My Southern Roots Grow

For a long time now, I've been writing about injustices military families face. I have two books forthcoming surrounding this issue, and with their publication, I know that I will have said all I can on the topic. Oh, I'll always be involved as an advocate, and I will passionately nurture these books as if they were my children. But my wandering mind started asking what's next?



That's when I remembered the intrusive weed.



You see, when a writer gets an idea, it's like the planting of a stubborn seed. And if that seed takes root within, it refuses to be ignored, kind of like a weed in a rose garden.



I had such a weed pop up in my writing plans a long time ago. For quite a while, I viewed it as a pain-in-the-ass distraction. The weed is a very different story from what I have been writing, and it did not fit in with my writing goals. It is very Southern, raw and maybe even a little backwoods. Although I won't reveal what it is about yet, I found myself drawn to it and soon it became a place to which I mentally retreat. When the real world gets too mean to tolerate, I sit down at my keyboard and cultivate the story the weed is trying to tell.



Over the years, I talked about the weed with a few people. I even discussed it with Elyse, a dear Yankee friend who is also my agent's assistant. She loved the weed. Still, I kept pushing it aside. Then, a couple of things happened that made me realize this weed's story may be important.



First of all, Yankee Elyse emailed me out of the blue demanding to know when I was going to finish "the weed." Her faith in it made me take a long pause, and I realized that maybe I should take my little weed more seriously. Then, oddly enough, this realization became more pronounced when a family member alerted me to a website dedicated to the Army's 8th Armored Division of WWII. Amazingly, the site contains never-before-seen pictures of my grandfather just before he was shipped off to Europe to fight. It was surreal to see this handsome young man, long and lean, with dark hair, ready to go to war. His 19 grandchildren and great-grandchildren were not yet a gleam in his steely blue eyes, and yet here I was, looking at him 60-plus years in the past. It touched a nerve deep within me.



Suddenly, I was flooded with memories of family stories told about Granddaddy's life in Albany, Ga. One moment he was working in the field among the corn and cotton, the next he was on a ship going to a part of the world he knew nothing about. With all of these memories, it dawned on me that the nagging, stubborn weed I thought didn't fit in with my writing goals, was actually my Southern roots calling me home.



I don't know why I was surprised, after all, Southern Gothic literature was my first love. In fact, the first piece of writing that I ever had published was a magical realism short story based on my Granddaddy. But the inspiration didn't stop with him. The South is full of accomplished storytellers nobody has ever heard of. They're standing in line with you at the grocery store, fixing your hair, cashing your check at the bank, or walking down the street mumbling to themselves. They are everywhere, carrying around their stories, and you know what? I'm one of them.



Although the completion of the novel springing forth from "the weed" is a long way off, I don't ignore it anymore. If anything, I've recognized it as my very essence and that knowledge has provided a freedom I cannot describe. So, y'all, I guess the point of my story is that you should listen to your own whispers and tend to your weeds. Maybe then your essence will grow roots.



"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." -- Maya Angelou



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Turning Tragedy Into Activism: Remembering Colonel Philip Shue

Parked in full view of the residents in Kendall County, Texas, are the remnants of a 1995 Tracer once belonging to Air Force Colonel Philip Shue. Nine years ago yesterday, on April 16, 2003, at approximately 5:30-6:00 a.m., Colonel Shue kissed his wife Tracy goodbye and headed to work at Lackland Air Force Base. It was the last time they would ever see each other. At 8:14 a.m., witnesses observed his car speeding recklessly down Interstate 10 before it veered off the road and crashed into a patch of small trees. When first responders arrived they were flabbergasted to find his body sadistically and intentionally mutilated. Both of his nipples were cut away with surgical precision, a 6-inch long, 1-inch wide incision was made down the middle of his chest; his wrists and ankles were wrapped in duct tape, and a finger and earlobe were cut off. These body parts were never found. There were also numerous injuries that suggested a struggle had taken place.



Authorities in charge of the investigation eventually labeled the death a suicide. However, Tracy Shue refused to accept those findings and fought in every venue available to have Colonel Shue's cause of death changed to homicide and his killers arrested. She was eventually successful when during a legal proceeding with insurance company USAA, Texas Judge Bill Palmer ruled in June 2008, that Colonel Shue was indeed the victim of homicide. Nevertheless, Kendall County authorities and the Air Force have refused to comply with the ruling and Tracy's fight for justice continues.



"It feels like yesterday." Tracy Shue says as she recalls the afternoon of April 16th when she received notification that her husband was dead. "When the Sheriff and minister arrived at our house that day, it was approximately 3:30 p.m. I've never known for certain why it took them so long to notify me."



A couple of hours later, Al Auxier, from the Department of Public Safety arrived to talk with Tracy.



As we sat in the living room discussing the car crash, she remembers, Auxier blurted out: 'Oh, by the way, is there any reason your husband would have duct tape around his wrists and ankles?'



Tracy, still in a state of shock, and still unaware of the mutilation, instantly remembered several life-threatening letters Colonel Shue had received and was saving in a file.



Oh my God! she exclaimed, they've killed him!



Retrieving the threatening letters from Colonel Shue's desk, she gave them to authorities. She also opened her home and property to investigators, hoping they would find clues as to why her husband was dead. But it was all to no avail.



A little more than a month after Colonel Shue's funeral, Tracy received a phone call from a reporter with a San Antonio newspaper asking for a comment regarding Colonel Shue's mutilated body. Until this moment, she had not been told of this information by authorities. As the reporter filled her in on every graphic detail, Tracy, who always knew in her heart that her husband had been murdered, realized the true depth of the struggle for justice that lay ahead to dominate her life.













To this day, Tracy has remained vocal in her determination to find justice for Colonel Shue and she has expanded that passion to include other Military Families facing similar circumstances; surprisingly there are many. As written here before, Tracy is working with Marine widow Kimberly Stahlman to gain support for the Bill of Rights for Bereaved Military Families and developing a website Military Families for Justice.org to educate the public on the serious issues surrounding non-hostile death investigations. Furthermore, in addition to allowing famed medical examiner Cyril Wecht profile the forensic aspects of Colonel Shue's death in his book From Crime Scene to Courtroom she's also telling the entire, bizarre journey she's endured in a book tentatively titled A Case for Murder.



Through it all, Tracy has not given up the hope that the person or people responsible for Colonel Shue's murder will be arrested and held accountable. But, she has come to accept the possibility that that may not happen.



Even if there is an arrest, Tracy states, there is no punishment on this earth that will give me peace and closure. However, the killer(s) will not escape justice, because there is a higher power that will see to that.



In the meantime, Kendall County authorities have asked Tracy on three separate occasions to pick-up Colonel Shue's wrecked car from the impound yard. But she has refused.



That car is a crime scene, she says, and as far as I'm concerned the authorities have a solemn obligation to treat it as such.



So for the time being, the wreckage of that 1995 Tracer will sit by the road rusting away; a large, mangled, symbol of injustice.

American Society in Crisis: Non-Hostile Deaths Are Overtaking Veterans

For nearly a decade, I've been researching and writing about the issue of non-hostile deaths in the military. Early on in my research, I would get upset at the information provided by our troops and their families. Their revelations painted a picture of a dysfunctional military culture that allows medical and legal malpractice, as well as violent crime, to thrive and exist. As a result, I naively reached out to every genre of media available, imploring them to bring the looming crisis of military deaths to the public consciousness. Nobody ever found it newsworthy; an apathy that made me confused and at times livid.



I remember calling my friend Hunter Glass to vent my frustration. In his efforts to help me make sense of it all, he spoke some very prophetic words:

"Well, everyone will wake up one day. It's just like putting bad fuel in your car day after day. You may get away with it for years, but one day, the damage to your engine will get so bad that it shuts down."

Glass, is a respected detective, consultant and lecturer on the topic of crime and security threats in the military. He travels constantly, speaking to citizens and law enforcement officials trying to prepare us for the inevitable dangers making its way to our society as the war comes home. With the exception of reaching Dan Rather and a few others, his message has fell on deaf ears.





Oscar-winning writer/director, Paul Haggis, also began publicly addressing the fact that we need to be thinking about the long term effects of war when his 2007 movie "In the Valley of Elah" was released by Warner Brothers. Despite stellar casting of Tommy Lee Jones, Charlize Theron and Josh Brolin, Elah, fell largely on deaf ears too.







Now, we finally have the Veteran's Administration admitting that America is losing a veteran to suicide (also classified as non-hostile death) every 80 minutes. This is indeed a public health crisis of limitless repercussions that stretch far beyond the deceased. There is little doubt, the children, wives and parents of these veterans will need assistance dealing with the tragedy, emotional trauma and stigma of suicide. If this were any other form of widespread death, the entire country would be shouting the words "pandemic," with media and government officials advising citizens of the best ways to protect themselves.



"The Center for a New American Security" released a policy brief in October 2011 titled "Losing the Battle: The Challenge of Military Suicide" that has researchers and administrators at military medical facilities buzzing with activity. The brief examines the phenomenon of military suicide and the preventative measures currently in place. It goes even further by pointing out the problems with these existing measures and offers solutions for improvement. However, as the brief states, one of the most elusive aspects to suicide prevention is removing the stigma of mental illness.



There is much confusion as to why the stigma persists despite massive efforts aimed to remove it. Even worse, the efforts are ultimately short-sighted, because the stigma reaches much further than a service members unit and military career. Right now, insurance companies and civilian employers are allowed to ask about the health backgrounds of its applicants. It is naïve to assume the decision makers involved would not hold PTSD or TBI against veterans. In the outside world, there must be laws to protect our veterans from discrimination for having mental health issues.



Another point of confusion is the fact that as much as 50% of the troops who take their own lives have never deployed. So if the cause of suicide is not PTSD or TBI, then what is going on? This question brings to mind another major issue not getting the attention it deserves; the possibility that some of these "suicides" are actually "murders."



Let's face it, with a veteran allegedly committing suicide every 80 minutes, it is certainly possible, if not probable, that at least a small percentage of these deaths are in fact homicides. With such an overwhelming suicide crisis in our midst, investigators may automatically assume every unattended death is just one more suicide. Homicide is not mentioned in the brief, yet in July 2011, the Inspector General of the Department of Defense established the creation of the Violent Crimes Division. Their press release states:

DoD IG Establishes Violent Crimes Division. The Department of Defense Office of Inspector General has established a new division that will evaluate DoD and military service criminal investigative policies, programs, and training focused on violent crimes including murder, suicide, sexual assaults, robbery, child abuse, and aggravated assault.

Although the DoD has not openly admitted to the possibility that some of the alleged suicides could indeed be homicides, the creation of the Violent Crimes Division clearly indicates a high level of concern for the way murders and suicides are investigated by calling for an evaluation of the policies.



While writing the book "Murder In Baker Company" I was made aware of a three-year investigation conducted by Congressman Frank Pallone (NJ) and former Congressman Dave Levy (NY) to recognize deficiencies and correct the findings of flawed military death investigations. The two congressmen presented their investigative report on September 12, 1996 to the Subcommittee on Personnel of the Senate Armed Services Committee. I included a copy of it in the exhibits section of my book because the issues it addresses are still going on today. The lengthy report clearly outlines the dangers of investigators and medical examiners utilizing a psychological autopsy, or psychological profile, as it is known today, to determine the likelihood of suicide. Their concerns for the accuracy of the psychological profile were summed up as follows:

"Psychological profiling as is currently being utilized in military psychological autopsies is only as good as the information provided to the profiler by criminal investigators who have performed a thorough investigation. If, in fact, a DoD investigator is misusing information, misquoting witnesses, and is deliberately or unknowingly misdirecting the profiler, the psychological autopsy is irretrievably corrupted."

The Pallone and Levy presentation also requested a "board of investigative review" be established to handle conflicting medical, technical and investigative findings presented by surviving military families. But the request was to no avail. The DoD maintains the final word on whether military investigations have been carried out properly. In other words, it has the privilege of policing itself and answers to nobody.



There is also the issue of the "51% rule" for determining suicide. The 51% rule basically means that if 51% of the evidence collected in a death investigation suggests suicide, then "suicide" can be the official cause of death and the remaining 49% of evidence, ignored - evidence that may indicate homicide. This method is used in both civilian and military sectors.



To make it all even more preposterous, the U.S. Army Criminal Investigation Laboratory or "USACIL," which is the military's premier crime lab, is under heavy scrutiny for systematic botching and falsification of evidence testing. Senator Patrick Leahy (VT) and Senator Chuck Grassley (IA) wrote a letter in May 2011, to Inspector General Gordon Heddell of the DoD imploring him to establish an independent entity to investigate. In the letter, the senator's stated:

"The failure to address these issues in a timely manner could damage the Nation's trust in the military justice system."

Recent reports of prosecutions relating to theft rings and corruption among troops of all branches and ranks add to the belief that murder in such an environment is also highly probable. The idea of preventing "damaged trust" is too little, too late for many military families who don't believe their deceased loved ones took their own life. Kimberly Stahlman and Tracy Shue, widows of Colonel Mike Stahlman (USMC) and Colonel Philip Shue (USAF) are not waiting for the bureaucrats to take action. They are taking their message of injustice and the need for a system of checks and balances in military death investigations to the American people and have established "The Stahlman-Shue Bill of Rights for Bereaved Military Families" to insure investigations are accurate and that the nation's military families have a voice in the process. Right now, our society is twisting in a wind of confusion about the death toll. But it's not necessary. By allowing our veterans and their families to be heard, we may finally get to the bottom of all the questions plaguing this dire crisis.



Pay attention people, the military engine is knocking loudly.

Baby Lisa's Disappearance: A Perfect Storm for a Tragic Crime?

Baby Lisa Irwin



It's a parent's worst fear. You go to sleep thinking all is right with the world only to wake up and find your baby is gone. It must feel as though you are trapped in some cruel dream from which you cannot wake up.



When my children were born, I pulled their bassinet right up to the edge of my bed, so I could watch them breathing. People teased me about it, and well-meaning relatives advised me that it was a mistake to allow my babies to sleep in my room. They were right, but I kept it up as long as possible. With this in mind, I cannot begin to imagine getting so drunk that I passed out on the opposite end of the house from my baby's room, and with a fan going full-blast to block-out noise, as Bradley reportedly did.



It is really easy to get suspicious of Deborah Bradley's actions the night her baby went missing. Now that I know she was drunk, I cannot help but question whether she could have done something to the baby and forgot. But I'm reserving judgement, because it would be a mistake to try and convict this woman in the media.



On the flip-side, I find it interesting that Bradley and her other two children were sound asleep when Jeremy Irwin arrived home at 4 a.m. and made the discovery. She wasn't running around trying to establish a wild story to explain Baby Lisa's disappearance or frantically acting out a scene for a 911 dispatcher. In addition, the police have combed the area thoroughly and found no sign of the baby. So just when would a drunken Bradley have had time to dispose of a body that skillfully, in such a short amount of time, with two other children to contend with? It's just not adding up.





Parents, Jeremy Irwin and Deborah Bradley



Although it is way too early to cast blame as to why and how Baby Lisa went missing, human nature pushes us in that direction. When Jeremy arrived home, the lights were on, and the door was unlocked. It is highly plausible that a very drunk Deborah Bradley went to bed without turning off lights and locking doors. It's also not unheard of for a new mother to be stalked by some sicko waiting for the opportunity to snatch away her baby. A home lighting up the night sky provides a perfect view inside. It would be easy to see if the occupants were asleep and aware of their surroundings; and with the father working a rare night shift, it could have been the proverbial perfect storm for a tragic crime to take place.



At this writing the police have descended on Baby Lisa's home armed with a search warrant. Why would they require a search warrant by the parents, and what, if anything, will they find?



Time will tell.

Are Chapter 14s Kicking Veterans When They're Down?

Erica and Bryan Lampe





Marine Staff Sgt. Bryan Lampe, 35 years old, grew up admiring the pictures and awards belonging to his beloved grandfather, who had stormed the beaches of Normandy in World War II. As a result, the military was his lifelong dream. Joining the Marine Corps in 2001, he couldn't wait to show off to his grandfather and was so proud he wouldn't take off his uniform, even while on leave. He would go on to serve more than 10 years in the Marine Corps, achieving many honors, but not without sacrifices that some might say were too much to ask of anyone.



Early on, Lampe was criticized by his sergeant for having "love handles." In his desperation to lose weight, Lampe developed bulimia, purging after every single meal and dropping from 235 lbs. to 168 lbs. in three months. He threw himself into training with vigor and signed up for all the courses he could in order to further his Marine career. Like all Marines, he trained night and day preparing for war. Nevertheless, the reality of war was still lost on them.



"When we finally got the call to go to Kuwait, we were happy for some unknown reason," he said. "But over the next five months, we saw things not a lot of people should ever want to see."



Three days before invading Iraq, amid a big display of helicopters and jets, a general came to talk to Lampe's unit -- the invasion of Iraq was about to begin.



"I remember like it was yesterday," Lampe says. "Scared out of our minds, everything dark, bombs going off in the distance."



Lampe still recalls the announcement of their first casualty. It was a lieutenant who approached a vehicle and was shot at close range. By dawn's light, the carnage around them became visible, but the horror did not slow down. As Lampe's unit pushed through toward Baghdad, they encountered two separate ambushes that went on for so long that they almost ran out of ammo. An airstrike was called in, but the bombs were dropped too close to the unit, and they barely escaped being blown up along with the enemy. After this, things quieted down for the night, but when daylight approached again, Lampe's unit could see 10 or 15 Iraqis walking toward them with white shirts hanging off the ends of sticks, ostensibly to surrender. It was a trick, and as the Iraqis fired weapons, the Marines responded in kind. Within 10 seconds, all of the Iraqis were dead. Lampe and the others approached the corpses and saw that not much was left behind but blood and guts.



With no time to pause and rest, they continued the push toward Baghdad, engaging in firefights the entire way, then the next major ambush occurred. It was a ghoulish scene, with dogs running through the area carrying human body parts in their mouths. Caught in the ambush were a pregnant woman and her husband. Both were accidentally shot. The husband died, but Lampe's unit managed to save the pregnant woman.



Finally entering Baghdad, the Marines were quickly dispatched to patrol the area and create checkpoints for passing vehicles. Iraqi drivers were told that they would be fired upon if they did not stop. Nevertheless, the warning was not always heeded. After one vehicle increased its speed through the checkpoints, the Marines opened fire. When they opened the car door, they discovered that a 3-year-old boy had been fatally wounded.



For Lampe, the mental trauma took a dramatic turn for the worse, and by the time he went home for the first time, he refused to see his family because he didn't want to answer questions about the war. He developed a drinking problem and experienced blackouts brought on by PTSD. Despite this, Lampe was deployed two more times. On one of the latter deployments, his best friend was killed in an intense firefight. Lampe looked to his right and could see that his friend was cut in half. But there was no time to slow down; through tears, he kept doing his job and firing his weapon. Coming home for the last time, Lampe was diagnosed with PTSD and bulimia. He caught hell from his command for revealing his emotional problems to psychologists, with a commander screaming at him, "You don't have PTSD, you're just a fucked-up person!" Lampe shut down.



During this period, he married his current wife Erica. Erica has stood by him through everything. They went to counseling together and tried to build some semblance of a normal life among the nightmarish memories of the Iraq war. But on Aug. 15, 2010, another PTSD blackout occurred.



"I woke up, kissed my wife and started drinking around 9:30 a.m.," says Lampe. "I remember that the morning seemed perfect. I danced with my daughter and sang songs with my wife. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the county jail. I thought I must have gotten a DUI."



But Lampe didn't get a DUI. He had experienced a PTSD blackout in which he tried to kill himself and then attacked his wife when she intervened.



"I did not recognize him," Erica recalls. "His eyes were blank and he kept talking about the war and saying nobody understood what went on over there and how he didn't deserve to live."



The Lampe family continues to try to get Bryan psychological help. But to them, the Marines are only interested in kicking him out of the Corps and stripping him of all benefits.



"He did his job, and it damaged him mentally," Erica cries. "Now they [the military] just want to turn their backs and throw him away."



Bryan pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife and was sentenced to 16 months at the Naval Consolidated Brig in South Carolina. After this, he is scheduled to be discharged under a Chapter 14 misconduct charge -- losing all rights to military medical, mental health care and retirement benefits. A Chapter 14 covers a wide range of misconduct offenses, from minor to serious. Each branch of the military defines infractions somewhat differently. The Marine Corps' approach for removal is "a documented series of at least three minor disciplinary infractions, during the current enlistment, of a nature which have been or would have been appropriately disciplined under Article 15, UCMJ, commanding officers non-judicial punishment."



While Lampe readily admits that he has made serious mistakes, his problems are associated with PTSD resulting from three deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. In addition, a Chapter 14 can only be processed after efforts to rehabilitate have failed. According to the Lampe family, there have been no such efforts. After his arrest, he was isolated from his mother, wife and daughter and has not received treatment for his PTSD.



While the military must take steps to protect society in a situation like this, there should be consideration for the suffering that the troops have endured while serving our country, especially if they show evidence of a loving family willing to work with the system get the help needed. Many veterans may be reluctant to seek help, out of fear that revealing their problems will get them unceremoniously kicked out.



This case is under appeal, and as Lampe waits, we have to wonder how many other veteran's are suffering the same fate.



Click here for PTSD Support.

A Tale of Two Mothers: Casey Anthony and Jaycee Dugard

I smiled and cried simultaneously, as I watched Jaycee Dugard's recent interview with Diane Sawyer. After weeks filled with the freakish Casey Anthony circus, I hope that people took a long pause away from the Anthony media coverage to focus on the truly awe-inspiring, magnificent mother that is Jaycee Dugard.



Jaycee Dugard, living in conditions that would turn most people into an emotional cripple, survived in no small part due to the strength of the mother's love she has for her daughters and the love instilled within her soul by her mother Terry.



In contrast, while Jaycee struggled to watch over her daughters, determined to protect them as much as possible from the evil that held them captive, Casey Anthony was living the good life, giving little thought to the fact that her daughter was rapidly disappearing in a murky Florida swamp. Dancing and smiling, Casey's behavior was stomach churning, and defied all we as human beings expect of a loving mother. Quite frankly, I've seen stray cats be a better mother than Casey Anthony. Caylee deserved better; she deserved the love and devotion of a mother like Jaycee. If we can be thankful for anything to do with Caylee's murder, at least she is now in a place where nobody can ever harm her again and oblivious to the injustice left behind. However, there are children -- alive for the moment -- who at this very instant, desperately need our country's attention and swift action.



According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the U.S. Department of Justice reports that 797,500 children are reported missing in a one-year time span; at least 100 of those children end up murdered. In addition, 5 children die every single day in the U.S. due to child abuse. Isn't it time that we as a nation give these needless tragedies the attention they deserve? If the media can talk nonstop about one case for weeks on end, can't they do the same for all of the others?



Instead of dancing, Jaycee Dugard has decided to fight for change. She has started The JAYC Foundation to assist individuals and families recovering from abduction and traumatic experiences. One of the most touching aspects of the foundation comes in the form of a little pine cone. During her last moment of freedom, Jaycee felt the sharp edges of a pine cone underneath her body before being snatched away for 18 years. To her, that pine cone became so symbolic of freedom, that today she wears one as a necklace. For those able to donate 75.00 in support of this important cause, you can own one too, and show the world that you care about this issue beyond tawdry, Anthony style, headlines.



Caylee's Law

"A Stolen Life" by Jaycee Dugard

Memorial Day 2011: Kneel Where Our Loves Are Sleeping

In 1867, a hymn by Nella L.Sweet, Kneel Where Our Loves Are Sleeping, was published with a dedication to southern ladies who, as a result of the Civil War, were actively paying homage to their fallen soldiers by decorating and honoring their grave sites. By May 30, 1868, the entire United States followed suit by laying wreaths at Arlington National Cemetery. Although there is much dispute as to the origins of Memorial Day, it is not difficult to imagine that women are the ones who inspired the tradition. After all, for the most part, it was women who were left to bury the dead. Grief stricken and with tears flowing, they had to find a way to connect with the soldiers who paid the ultimate sacrifice for the freedoms we all enjoy. Maybe honoring them was a way to deal with not only the grief, but also the guilt we feel for surviving.



Throughout American history women have helped and endured during times of war; even going so far as to join their husbands in war zones to cook their meals and mend their wounds. Later, women kept the war effort strong by working in defense plants or joining in as nurses. As we gained equal rights, thousands became soldiers themselves.



Women possess an emotional strength that may not display itself until called upon to take action. When that strength is riled, nothing can stand in our way. Sometimes I wonder what the women who inspired that hymn by Nella Sweet would think of the way we have evolved and stepped up to causes that help our veterans. Women like Carol Blake, who along with her son Brandon, started Our Forgotten Warriors, a foundation to help veterans recover from the fallout of war and injuries. Then there is Lisa Groves, herself a veteran, who makes certain that countless homeless veterans get a meal every single day through her group, The Veteran's Connection.



I also wonder what those southern belles weeping at the graves of lost loved ones would think of Kimberly Stahlman and Tracy Shue, widows of Colonel Mike Stahlman and Colonel Philip Shue. These two women have been willing to stand up against odds that can only be likened to staring into the mouth of hell; all in honor of their husband's memory. Mary Tillman has done the same thing for her beloved Pat.



We can all learn a lot from the military wives, mothers and daughters of America and follow their example every day of the year.



Kneel where our loves are sleeping,

Dear ones loved in days gone by,

here we bow in holy reverence,

Our bosoms heave the heart-felt sigh.

They fell like brave men, true as steel,

And pour'd their blood like rain-

We feel we owe them all we have,

And can but kneel and weep again.

One Woman's Uphill Battle To Raise Funds For Fellow Vets

Before First Lady Michelle Obama announced her intention to raise awareness to the plight of our military families in need, Dunbar, West Virginia citizen and disabled veteran Lisa Groves was well underway operating a hot dog stand called The Veteran's Connection, raising money to help financially strapped or homeless veterans. Groves pays for the supplies out of her own pocket and 100 percent of the money she earns goes directly to the veterans she helps. She has seen firsthand the devastating effects of poverty and the unique position our veterans are facing.



It's hard to fathom that any of our war veterans come home to sleep in an alley or dig through garbage for food. But according to the National Coalition for Homeless Veterans at least 107,000 veterans sleep on the streets each night and 1.5 million are continually at risk of becoming homeless. Since most homeless veterans are single, they are not eligible for federally funded programs primarily created for families. They wander the streets alone dealing with hunger, PTSD and substance abuse problems.



At night, Groves drives through areas of town where homeless veterans congregate and distributes blankets, food and clean socks. Her phone continually rings with news that a veteran needs help with the most basic of human necessities, such as paying a utility bill or getting a ride to the doctor. One of the most heartbreaking incidents occurred when an Iraq veteran drove to her hot dog stand and asked if she could help him get food and diapers for his 11-month-old baby.

"I walked over to his car to see the baby, who was sitting in the back seat. This precious child was wearing a paper towel and plastic grocery bag as a diaper. The baby's mother, also an Iraq veteran, had recently died following what is suspected as Seroquel intoxication for treatment of PTSD. I picked the baby up and he hugged me so tight that I knew he was starving for a mothers touch. His father was beside himself with grief and his own battle with PTSD and doing the best he could."

Groves acted quickly to help him with his most immediate needs, and arranged proper ongoing care for him and the baby.



In addition to operating The Veterans Connection, Groves serves as the Commander of American Legion Post 11 Institute -- the first African-American female to achieve this goal. Her dedication to helping her fellow veterans is so strong it earned her the prestigious Jefferson Award in 2009. Despite the honor, she has not always received the support of her fellow citizens.



Groves used to operate The Veteran's Connection from a refurbished trailer in the parking lot of a Fas-Check convenience store until vandals and zoning ordinances forced her to seek alternatives. It seems the owners of nearby businesses didn't like the noise her generator made and felt they were losing business due to her presence, a claim Groves denies. Nevertheless, she moved her trailer many times to try and appease her critics but to no avail. In an effort to intimidate Groves, employees from a nearby business have urinated on the side of her trailer, thrown rocks at the windows and used the American flag she had hanging as toilet paper. Groves stumbled upon the man who urinated on her trailer while he was still in the act. She called local police to file charges and the desk officer crudely asked "Did you see his pecker?" Since she had not, she couldn't file the charges. She also reports being denied the right to speak at city council meetings in her ongoing efforts to get the city officials of Dunbar to intervene on behalf of the veterans she helps.



Lisa Groves believes the harassment and cruelty stems from the fact that she is an African-American female and she may be right. However, it's just as likely that the asinine behavior of her tormentors is as much about classism as it is racism. Let's face it -- there are a lot of snobs in this world who don't want the ugliness of poverty tainting their view. These shallow people judge their fellow human beings by what side of town they live on, what kind of car they drive and what their spouse does for a living. For these snobs, political and social standing is paramount in their lives to the point they won't associate with anyone or any cause that may threaten their popularity and status. To them, giving to charity is just another excuse to put on a tux and evening gown to hobnob at a country club dinner where a small portion of the proceeds are donated; that's about as close as they'll get. While that is certainly helpful and needed, it is unfortunate that they are usually the same people sitting in the power positions in terms of who gets help and whose message is heard.



At a recent American Legion conference, Groves arrived with several of the veterans that she works to help. As they made their way into the room, one of the veteran's remarked that the people were laughing at them.

"I told them to hold their heads up high because they had every right to be there," Grove says, "then I heard one of the attendees make the remark, 'that's the post for the reject veterans.' "

Groves has not let her detractors stop her. With her hot dog trailer inoperable, she runs The Veteran's Connection from a tent in the parking lot of a local Kmart. In all kinds of weather, she is out there selling those $1.00 hot dogs, playing patriotic music and doing the best she can.

"I don't want to operate out of a fancy building with a lot of overhead. For this kind of work, I need to be mobile. What we really need is an RV, so I can get to the veterans with all the needed supplies and warm food."

The National Coalition for Homeless Veterans offers a search tool where you can find programs in your own community to volunteer your time or donate money. In the meantime, if you are ever near Dunbar, West Virginia, buy your lunch from Lisa Groves at The Veteran's Connection and prove there is no such thing as a "reject veteran" in the United States.



To help the veterans of Dunbar, West Virginia:

American Legion Post 11-WVSU

PO Box 425

Institute, WV 25112

website- myspace.com/amer_legionpost11







All photos courtesy of Lisa Groves.

A Wake Up Call Was Sounded in Tucson: Have We Been Feeding Wolves?

Lecturer and Consultant, Hunter Glass





The tragedy in the city of Tucson has an all too familiar ring to it. Once again American's find themselves glued to their television screens for some explanation as to why such a horrible mass killing occurred. Questions roam through our minds: What do we do? How do we get control over the monsters that exist in our society? When and where will it happen again?



Hunter Glass, a security threat group consultant who travels the country giving lectures and providing education to citizens and members of law enforcement, recently expressed his concerns for our country going into 2011:



"Our cities are under siege by criminal gangs and government corruption while thousands of our men and women are fighting to establish peace in other countries."



When viewed in context with the recent shootings in Tucson, Glass's comments seem a bit prophetic.



First of all, people need to understand what constitutes "security threat groups" and "criminal gangs." When we hear these two phrases we automatically think of sophisticated terrorists looking to steal our government secrets or thugs covered in tattoos and conducting drive-by shootings. However, the actual definitions may be much broader in scope. Extremism is the real enemy, and it is born in all sorts of circumstances. Extremists are constantly looking to be fed, and unfortunately with the current political and cultural climate, they don't have to look far.



Let's face it, our society celebrates extremism in some form all of the time. We hail it, we praise it, it is the American way to try and outdo ourselves. Every day the bar is set higher and higher. When our children are raised in front of violent video games, television and movies for entertainment, we will no doubt have a few, if not many, who will grow up perfectly comfortable with the idea of taking aim at the heads of innocent people in the name of their own extremist ideas.



I called Hunter Glass to discuss this tragedy and hear his thoughts. Just as he was telling me that he would not be surprised to learn Jared Lee Loughner was a member of a sovereign citizen movement or possessed those types of ideologies, information came forth that Loughner indeed may be a member of The American Renaissance, a group focused on white supremacy. The group has denied any known connection to Loughner, but at this writing officials have not confirmed it one way or the other.



As far back as 2002, The American Renaissance was publishing articles demonstrating their disgust with both Democrats and Republicans. Their feelings were expressed in an article titled "AR's Contribution to Our Movement" by Samuel Francis.



"The Democratic Party is even more tightly controlled by and dependent on minorities than ever. The Republican Party is even more frightened of racial (and even of simple cultural) honesty than it was in the days of George Bush I."



Whoa. These people must have passed a brick when President Obama was elected, and judging by their condemnation of both parties, they probably lost all hope for any kind of savior.



Even without an official connection to this group or others like it, Loughner could very well be what Glass calls "a lone wolf." A lone wolf constantly seeks validation for his twisted views by exploring different group's ideologies and plans. Some of the groups may be mainstream, some are no doubt fringe. But a lone wolf samples them all and moves on when they don't satisfy all of his needs, taking whatever knowledge he can and forcing it to fit the puzzle in his mind.



Glass offers this assessment:

When a person like Loughner sees normal everyday people exercising their rights to protest and criticize our government, what he really sees is suffering lambs that need a martyr for their cause. He sees himself as being the only one strong enough to take matters into his own hands.

Very early on, speculation began to circulate about the correlation between the shootings and Sarah Palin's "crosshairs" map. Sarah Palin's crosshairs map was not an actual call to bring about death and destruction. To make her a scapegoat is unfair. That being said, the crosshairs map is a literal illustration of the dangerous level of ignorance that exists within our country concerning extremism. Borderline inflammatory speech coming from elected officials and people in the public eye is like a trail of breadcrumbs for people like Loughner to follow. In Sarah Palin's world, those crosshairs represent a nonviolent political message, but for the Jared Lee Loughners of the world, it could mean aim your gun and shoot.



Even as I write this post, new information is emerging about Loughner and his motives. However, we cannot afford to fall into the familiar trap of chalking up his actions to the fact that he is mentally unstable and slip back into our comfort zones, assuming there is no further danger now that he is caught.



There are no doubt many more lone wolves roaming around our country.