Heather Brewer's Blog, page 9

TWELFTH GRADE KILLS: the book trailer!!!

Some time ago, my Minions, your Auntie Heather hosted an incredibly successful contest in which Minions created their vision of their favorite scene from The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod (or some such thing – since that time, Auntie's brain has melted into a pile of goo, so she may not be recalling all of the details exactly. mmmmm…brain goo…). You may recall that the winner of that contest was a fabulous Minion by the name of Shawn Duddridge. Check out his entry.

UNBELIEVABLY COOL, RIGHT?!?! In fact, I was so impressed by Shawn's work that I decided to ask him if he'd be interested in some work for hire. So…I hired Shawn to create a book trailer for TWELFTH GRADE KILLS. And he did. And it's amazing. And I LOVE it. And I'm going to debut it now.

BUT FIRST. (Man, don't you hate it when I do that???) Shawn sent me a few fun facts about the trailer, and I just loved them, so I wanted to share these too.

- The trailer is approximately 2 minutes, and 23 seconds long.

- It has a cast of 13 people, and a crew of 2.

- It has approximately 10 visual effect shots (including eye replacements, sky replacements, glowing stuff, titles, etc.) out of a total of just over 50 shots.

- Many of the events taking place on December 31st in the book were actually filmed on December 31st.

- Vlad can be seen wearing Fang in one shot (though only the top of its head is visible)

- They spent about an hour preparing a shot that lasts about 1 second… and most of what we prepared isn't even visible!

So now…without further ado…the official book trailer for The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod: TWELFTH GRADE KILLS!

AHHHHHHHH!!!! So amazing! What do you think, Minions???

The Slayer Chronicles Cover and Title Reveal!

You've waited for it. I've teased you mercilessly. You've pleaded, begged me, "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease, Auntie Heather! Pleeeeeeease show us the cover of the first Slayer book! Pleeeease tell us the title!" And I have been a cruel, merciless overlord, and have not shared these things with you.

Until now.

Minions. Today I am going to tell you the title of the first book of The Slayer Chronicles, and reveal to you its cover. Both of these things have been a long time coming.

But before I do so, I'm afraid I have to tease you just a little bit more, with some fangtastic fun facts about the book (which will debt September 20, 2011):

- There are 30 chapters in this book.

- It is the darkest book (so far) that I have ever written.

- You will meet Cecile.

- You will see two characters from CoVT besides Joss & his parents.

- The book mostly takes place in the Catskills in New York.

- The book opens with a not-to-be-missed prologue.

- The first chapter is titled THE NEXT GREAT ADVENTURE.

- The last chapter is titled A SLAYER'S GIFT.

- The first sentence of the thirteenth chapter is: Setting explosives the day before had been immeasurably entertaining–and terrifying–but when Joss woke to a note from Uncle Abraham that said to meet him in the clearing, he was certain that this day was going to be drastically different than yesterday in tone.

- The last word in the book is soon.

Welcome, my Minion Horde, to the world of Joss McMillan, to his series – The Slayer Chronicles, and to the first book of five. The title is FIRST KILL. And this is its cover.

Seek it out, Minions, and pre-order as soon as you can, because this is one journey you won't want to miss!

A brief update on our World Domination goals

Greetings, Minion Horde! Now, as you all know (or should know), Auntie Heather is plotting to take over the world (with the assistance of my Minions, of course). And I'm pleased to say that we are making some amazing progress so far.

To date, here are the countries that we have taken over with our powers of awesomeness:

United States

United Kingdom

Australia

Germany

France

Italy

Not too shabby, Minions! If you're from any of the listed countries, please watch the shelves for Vlad, and feel free to bug booksellers and librarians about when the books will be headed your way.

And now you crazy Minions have ID cards!!! Go check 'em out. Print them, laminate them, bring them to events so I can sign them. They are yours, Minions – so show the world you're a Minion!

More reasons to celebrate: the first book of The Slayer Chronicles is going to copy edits! For all intensive purposes, this means that the book is finished, apart from a few minor tweaks. The other day I saw the cover and it is GORGEOUS. It's kick-butt enough for you guys, and swoon-worthy enough for your girls (or vice-versa: Auntie doesn't judge). A cover reveal and a title reveal will be coming soon!

Also, a word on the plush Auntie Heather winner. I'm not telling them that they won. I'm merely whisking her off in her tiny coffin to surprise the winner. Today. But I was very impressed by all of your entries.

And…I'm kinda in the mood for a……

SPONTANEOUS MINI-CONTEST!!!

Comment to enter (doesn't matter how much you comment – you're only entered once). Winner gets something awesome. Suggestions?

Why I Hate "Valentine's Day"

I'm a mellow person. I very much believe in a "you do you" mentality. I have my ways, my beliefs, and you have yours. It's all good. If you think "Valentine's Day" is da bomb, then have at it! But keep your heart-shaped boxes away from me. I detest "Valentine's Day", and so I turn to my blog to explain why to you, Minions, as the rest of the world cannot seem to comprehend why I have such a problem with this "holiday".

1. It starts with a lie.

Way back when, pagan Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia from February 13th to 15th. The men sacrificed a goat and a dog, then whipped women with the hides of the animals they had just slain (wooooo! party!). Emperor Claudius II executed two men (both named Valentine) on February 14th (different years, though) in the 3rd century A.D. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine's Day. And then later on, Pope Gelasius I screwed things up in the 5th century by combining St. Valentine's Day with Lupercalia to get rid of the pagan rituals. It wasn't until 1913 that Hallmark Cards began mass producing "valentines" and the month of February started looking like Cupid threw up all over everything. So the truth is, the holiday you know as "Valentine's Day" was never really a holiday to begin with. The idea of buying things to celebrate romance wasn't even born until 1913, and it was done in order to boost greeting card sales.

2. It means nothing.

I see people treat one another like absolute crap 364 days of the year, but on February 14th, they're nice to one another – and that somehow magically means that they are in love. That's not love, Minions. Love is being nice to one another every day. And when you're not nice, you should know when to apologize. Show your loved ones respect, give them the gift of communication, and don't think that you have to slap down $80 for a bouquet of roses to say "I love you". (which brings me to my next complaint)

3. As the Beatles said, money can't buy you love.

You don't have to buy my books for me to love you, Minions. You simply have to be yourselves and I will love you forever. Nor does my husband have to buy me chocolates, nor does my son have to send me flowers. Those things are nice, yes, but they shouldn't be expected. I see people getting together to compare their "Valentine's" gifts (always women too – what is up with that?!) and it always leaves me wondering how fulfilling a gift can be if it's expected. "If he/she/it doesn't buy me roses on a certain day, it means I am unworthy of affection!" – how silly is that?? You are worthy of affection every day, because you are a good person and deserving of love. Chocolates and flowers aren't love, Minions. They are things. Like toilet paper and power tools.

4. Something people tend to forget…

It's okay to be single. There is nothing in the world wrong with being on your own. And I abhor a holiday that makes people feel like they're some kind of freak because they don't have a "valentine". That's why I fully support Anti-Valentine's parties! Get together with friends, celebrate how awesome you are. You don't need a boyfriend or girlfriend to feel like you are special. Because you are amazing every day of the year. So hold a party, invite friends, create some Anti-Valentines with witty sayings about "stupid Cupid", and remember that friends are more important than having someone to make out with.

There. I feel better now.

Vlad-y Goodness!

Minions, we have cool stuff. Have you noticed? I mean, we have a special place to hang out and get Vladtastic Minion-oriented things (VladTod.com); we have our own radio station (Crypt Radio – also found on VladTod.com); we have our own store (highschoolbites.com).

And now we have even more cool stuff!

I wanted to bring these to your attention, just in case you haven't noticed yet. You can now download the Crypt Radio app on iTunes! So grab your iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, or what-have-you and download it, because the music is so Miniontastic that it will MAKE YOUR HEAD EXPLODE.

Er. In a good way. (but just in case, bring a mop)

ALSO. There's new stuff on highschoolbites.com! Stuff like this:

Not to mention this shirt that I MUST OWN NOW:

There are a bunch more things on there, so go check them out.

I'm still holding out for a pillow that looks like FANG (which, if you didn't know, is our mascot vampire smiley's name – awwwww! Isn't he adorable? Who's a cute widdow bloodsucker? You are! Yes, you are!).

In book stuff news: I just turned in the first book of THE SLAYER CHRONICLES, and my editor loves it. Just a few more tweaks and it'll be ready for copy edits. (And the Minions rejoiced…) Plus, some day soon, I will have an amazing cover and new title to share with you! BUT…not today.

BLOODBOUND is finished (well, first-draft finished, anyway, which means it needs a lot of work before it's ready for your wondering eyes, Minions) and my agent and editor are all kinds of happy about it. So we are THRILLED, Minions. Book stuffs is a-okay for the moment.

ALSO, I'm working on a blog post to update you all on our world domination progress. Prepare to be STUNNED.

But for now, I'm drinking a blood bag and celebrating the moment. Join me?

Super Secret Project

If you've been following me on Twitter or Facebook, Minions, you've likely seen me mention Uncle Paul's favorite hash tag, #supersecretproject. You might have wondered what it was all about, and today, you get to find out!

See, I love my career. I'm very, very happy in my career. It feeds my soul to be a writer, and for many years, my husband has been working hard at a 9 to 5 job, so that I could follow my dreams. But through #supersecretproject, it is my greatest hope that he will be able to follow his dreams.

So, without further ado, my Minion Horde, I give you Super Secret Project.

In which Auntie Heather tells you all how to write a book (kinda sorta)

Some time ago (waaaaaaay back in the land of August 2007), I blogged about how to get an agent. Since then, I have been asked the same question approximately 989,956,453,675,453.2 times: "How do you write a book?"

The answer, I'm afraid, is so unbelievably complex that when I give it, I am usually met with disbelieving, blinking eyes that often slant in a moment of distrust, as if I am keeping my secrets and unwilling to share with the masses. The answer, dear Minions, is: "You write one."

"Yes," I can hear you all saying, "But hoooooooooooww???"

So I decided to blog this morning (instead of diving straight into the second round of edits on THE SLAYER CHRONICLES' first book–which has a new title and NO, I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHAT IT IS BECAUSE I AM MEAN LIKE THAT) and tell you how to write a book. Or rather, how I write a book. But before we begin, I must bestow upon you the all-important formula to writing a book. Every writer knows this, from your great grandma Sue to Stephen King himself, even if they don't know they know it. The formula is this: Butt + Chair = Writing.

If you keep your butt in a chair long enough, you can write a book. And here's how I do it.

First, I put my butt in a chair (thus utilizing the formula). Then I get an idea (often, though, this idea will come before my butt is anywhere near a chair). Usually my ideas come from asking myself questions. Questions like (in CoVT's case) "Why doesn't anybody ever write about the vampire anymore? They always write about the girl who falls in love with the vampire. Why?" or "I wonder what would happen if [HORRIBLE THING] encountered [OTHER HORRIBLE THING]?" or "What if tacos were really ALIVE and their crunchiness were actually tiny SCREAMS???"

Sometimes (such as with CoVT) the questions are valid, thought provoking, and lead to interesting ideas. Sometimes (I'm looking at you, living tacos), they're crap. Pure crap. And should be set aflame and forgotten forever.

But when they're good (or seem good at the moment), I sit down and start making notes, answering the basic questions. Questions like: "Who is my protagonist (main character)?" "What is his/her/its major problem?" and most importantly "What makes this story different than the other stories out there?" That last one is critical, because there are a bajillion books out there, and if I want to write a story in the same genre as a portion of that bajillion, I had better find a way to stand out in the crowd. In CoVT's case, I wrote a series that dealt with being bullied, from a vampire's (well, half vampire's) point of view. The books are kinda funny, and not very romance-focused. They're also relatively short, in opposition to many vampire books today.

Once I have the answers to the basic questions written down, I let my imagination fly. I start writing the story, and usually, in the beginning, my fingers fly and my keyboard catches on fire. HOWEVER…after some time, my mind begins to wander…often to SHINY NEW IDEAS. This is a dangerous time for a writer. Because if you really want to write a book, you've got to hit The End. So SHINY NEW IDEAS must be ignored, no matter how SHINY or NEW they are. I've taken to scribbling down just a few basic notes in a notebook and then getting back to work on the book I'm writing. Otherwise, I will have a bajillion partially-written books, and I will NEVER reach The End. And, c'mon, be honest…how many partially-written books have you ever seen at the bookstore? The answer is NONE. So…shaking off the urge to frolic around my office with the SHINY NEW IDEAS, I apply the formula and get my butt back in that chair.

And that's when the real work begins.

Writers have two different kinds of days. Only two. The "I am GOD" days and "I SUCK" days. The former is amazing. The latter is the worst feeling in the world. But I'm slowly learning to cling to the hope that every day won't be an "I SUCK" day.

I write. Even if it's awful. I keep putting words on that page. I trudge forward, through plot holes, through poor grammar, through typos galore, through weak characters, through run-on sentences, and eventually, I hit The End. But to do so, I have to be something that I am not. I have to be selfish. I have to ignore my family, friends, housekeeping, showers (okay, only sometimes), and adorable, fluffy kitties, just so I can use the formula and reach The End. It's difficult, especially if family, friends, and kitties want attention, but I have to say no at some point, and make time for the writing. Because no one is going to write it for me while I'm off socializing. Because I am the only person who can tell my story. And writing is hard, lonely work. So…I write. And eventually, I hit The End.

Then I celebrate. Even if the manuscript is awful. Because dude…I wrote a BOOK! That's a huge accomplishment. Even if it never sees a bookstore shelf.

But I never celebrate for long (no more than 24 hours), because that's when the real work begins. Now that I have the basis of a book, I have to fix it, so it's not ugly. (And ohhhhhhh, are my first drafts UGLY) First thing's first: I print that sucker out, grab a red pen, and start reading. I mark up everything, making corrections on the page, sometimes scribbling "insert cool fight scene here" in the margins with a big arrow pointing to a spot on the page that's crying out for blood. I do what I like to call "bleeding all over the page". Then I go into my Word file, make those corrections, print it out again, and do it all over again. Wash, rinse, repeat.

When I get to a point that I'm feeling pretty good about it, I'll read the story aloud. And (you got it) grab that red pen again. Things sound different when they're read aloud. Errors, weaknesses, they all stand out a bit better somehow.

Once I HATE my story, and am SICK OF READING THE STUPID THING, I send it to a trusted friend or two, to get their opinions. Luckily, I have brilliant friends. But even so, I don't take all of their advice on what to change. I only take what feels right. I edit it again, incorporating the advice that I agree with, and then I try to let it sit for a while before I read it again (I call this getting "fresh eyes") It's amazing the things that you don't see no matter how often you read something. Fresh eyes help immensely. Editors also help immensely.

I wish my process were more glamorous than this. I wish I could tell you stories about my muse and harps playing and dancing at fancy parties with JK Rowling, but the truth is…I sit at home and write. And avoid SHINY NEW IDEAS until I've reached The End.

On Self-Esteem (and cookies)

I was reminded of something today, something that I try hard to remember every day, and work very hard never to forget. I was reminded that self-esteem is a very fragile thing. Especially when you're a teenager.

A Minion had written to me the other day (she knows who she is – but I won't name names) and told me about an instance of bullying on her Facebook. A bully had insulted her appearance, and she asked my advice before blocking him. He'd called her fat, and it hurt her, so naturally, my protective Auntie Heather feathers got quite ruffled.

You see, I wasn't always the confident person you see before you, Minions. If we were to rewind time back to my middle and high school years, the person standing before you would probably not be able to make eye contact with you. She'd be relatively quiet, for fear that anything she said would just be mocked. She'd have circles under her eyes from lack of sleep – her eyes red from crying on a daily basis. She would be sad and alone and hated by many of her peers.

I was bullied. Oh yes. Terribly. Physically assaulted, teased, tormented on a daily basis. And due to that, I was driven to a very dark place on more than one occasion. I thought of suicide – I can admit that now. But I can also say that I'm so relieved I didn't go there. Because no matter how dark life becomes, no matter how lost or alone you feel, no matter how convinced you are that there is no way out of your pain and anguish, I can honestly say that there is a bright spot at the end of that tunnel. Things get better. Bullies go away. You can surround yourself with love and light and awesome people who really get you, who really adore your quirks. But you have to hold on.

I think the reason that the Facebook bully irked me so much (apart from my fierce love of the Minion Horde) is that I was, at one time, overweight, and know how stressful it can be when people wear their insensitivity on their sleeve. Growing up, I was a thin girl. But after years of low self-esteem, I ate my way into a size 24. I'm now a size 4 due to both a healthy approach to weight loss and, largely, due to learning to love myself – all my flaws included. But the stress of that time came flooding back to me the moment that Minion confided in me, and I don't want her to feel bad just because some jerk on Facebook doesn't have the sense to leave well enough alone. Yes, people snickered about my weight when I was bigger. Just like the bullies who shoved me into lockers in high school. But I've learned, over time, that their opinion of me doesn't have to be my opinion of me.

My ridiculously tiny pinky toes bend absurdly toward my other toes. I'm incredibly anal about the spines of books lining up just so on a bookcase. I often drift off into my own world during conversations. My desk is always a huge mess (I call it "creative chaos"). I have a really difficult time maintaining friendships with girls. I'm clumsy, can't sing (but do), and I'm an absurdly careful driver. Sometimes I get sad for no reason and bawl my eyes out. I'm short, my thighs are kinda chunky, and I really, really suck at math.

But I love me.

Because those things make me who I am. Those things are all things that shape the person you know as Auntie Heather. And I wouldn't want to be anybody else.

You have flaws too, I'm sure. But y'know what? Your flaws, your imperfections, are actually tiny little quirks that make you stand out from the crowd, and that, my Minions, my friends, is something really special, something to be proud of.

Now…who wants a cookie???

Guess where I'm blogging from, Minions??

After about five months of waiting on contractors, waiting on a painter guy, waiting on a wallpaper dude, waiting on furniture deliverers, I am proud to announce that I am FINALLY blogging from my new office in completion! It is so gothtastic! I'm planning to snap some pics this week and do a big blog on how cool it looks, but for now, just know that I am surrounded by lovely, lovely black, and happy as can be. I got a new desk – and I like it – it's just not my old desk. My old desk felt a certain way, and everything had its place. The new desk…well…we're still getting to know one another.

As for what I'm accomplishing with this new desk, I'm well into the second round of revisions for the first book in THE SLAYER CHRONICLES. I say "first book" because I'm not loving the title BEGINNING. (What am I gonna call the third book in the series? MIDDLE? Ugh…) But I haven't come up with anything new yet that reflects what this book is all about. I have had peeks at what the cover will be though, and it looks awesome! I can hardly wait to see the final cover (and share it with you, my faithful Minion Horde, of course).

My editor is reading BLOODBOUND (or will be soon), so those edits will likely come fast on the heals of TSC1 (THE SLAYER CHRONICLES #1). So the desk will definitely be seeing a lot of work. But that's okay, because I have discovered something about myself, Minions. Something I never realized.

I like work. I like being busy. As long as I'm busy with the stuff I want to be busy with. I love writing, even like editing, so that stuff I can do a million times over. But man, do I need my no-people-around-me downtime. I like to refer to myself as an extroverted introvert: I can be outgoing and social when life calls for it, but unless it does…STICK ME BACK IN MY CAVE!

My wallpapered, lovely black cave.

Anyhoo, I was thinking about a few hints I could give you all about what to expect on September 20, 2011 (!!!) when TSC1 debuts, and here's what I've come up with:

1. You will see two characters from CoVT beyond Joss and his family in this first book.

2. TSC is much darker than CoVT.

3. In this book, you will learn more about bugs than you ever really wanted to know.

4. TSC1 has a higher deathcount than the first four CoVT books combined.

5. You will meet Cecile.

Any questions?

Happy New Year, Minion Horde!

Okay, so Auntie is a few days late on this one, but I have what I like to call a Suitable Excuse. See, I was finishing up a little project I like to call BLOODBOUND, and I just turned it in to my editor. Go ahead, applaud. I'll wait.

I'm totally geeked out about this book, and the fact that I finished and turned in two books within the same two weeks blows my mind (the other book is BEGINNING, the first of THE SLAYER CHRONICLES). It turns out, in 2010, I wrote THREE books (BLOODBOUND, BEGINNING, and TWELFTH GRADE KILLS)! That's insane! But in a happy, trapped in my black straight jacket, being spoonfed AB Negative kinda way.

And now, I'm trying to get organized for all of the projects I have lined up for 2011. One way I'm doing this is outsourcing. And the coolest thing I've done recently is to hire a personal assistant! Her name is Kate Tilton and you can totally stalk her on Twitter by following @Froze8. Kate will be handling my email (though I'll still see all the fangtastic fan mail you guys send in – Kate will be making certain that those that warrant replies get them in a timely manner) and stepping in to help out on the forums. Kate is AMAZING and I ADORE her. Plus, it's unbelievably cool to have hired a Minion. I know she'll do a great job!

Speaking of 2011…many people have asked me what my new years resolutions are. But the thing is…I never make resolutions. I get so tired of watching people create goals and then give up on them before the ball has even dropped that I just don't participate. True change doesn't require January 1st as a jump-off date. That being said, I have been doing what I can to bring about positive change in my life lately. Doing a lot of charitable donations, removing negative people from my life, spending more quality time with family…y'know, the good stuff. Oh! And world domination with my Minions. Can't forget that.

Anyway, I hope that this will be our best year yet, Minion Horde! May your blood bags always be full. Maybe your life be free of Eddie Poe encounters. And may all your spooky, sharp teeth fluffy bunnies of doom nightmares come true!

Okay…maybe not that last one.