Cora Buhlert's Blog, page 48

Introducing Fanzine Spotlights

Hugo season is upon us. Nominations are not yet open, but DisCon III, the 2021 Worldcon, has just announced its Hugo Award related policies to some controversy, particularly with regard to limiting the number of names listed per finalists to four, which disproportionately impacts the fanzine, semiprozine and fancast categories, who often have large teams.

Some of you may remember that last year I started the Retro Reviews project to raise the profile of potential candidates for the 1945 Retro Hugos. The project did move the needle a bit, though not as much as I’d hoped.

The 1946 Retro Hugos were already awarded in 1996, so there will be no Retro Hugos this year. I will still continue to do Retro Reviews, because I enjoy (re)discovering great forgotten stories, but not with the same intense frequency and focus as last year.

However, the Retro Hugos are not the only Hugo-related thing that could use a boost. There are also regular Hugo categories that get little attention and few votes and nominations. Particularly the Best Fanzine category could use more love, since it consistently gets the fewest nominations and votes and is actively endangered by the 5% rule.

So I decided to do my part to raise the profile of the Best Fanzine and give more attention to the many worthy sites and zines out there. And so I decided to start a new project called “Fanzine Spotlight”, for which I will interview Hugo eligible fanzines and fansites and the people behind them.

The first Fanzine Spotlight will go live tomorrow and I have another scheduled for Friday. I will also continue to interview eligible fanzines throughout the Hugo nomination period. Do you have a Hugo eligible fanzine or site and want it featured? Contact me or leave a comment.

So check out all the great zines, sites and newsletters that will be featured and consider nominating your favourites for the 2021 Hugo Awards.

First Monday Free Fiction: The Ghosts of Doodenbos

Welcome to the January 2020 edition of First Monday Free Fiction. And yes, I know it’s one week late, but I was ill last week.

To recap, inspired by Kristine Kathryn Rusch who posts a free short story every week on her blog, I’ll post a free story on every first Monday of the month.

Winter has finally come to North Germany. And since winter is also traditionally the season for spooky stories, this month’s free story is a wintery tale of historical horror called The Ghosts of Doodenbos.

So let’s travel back in time to the Spanish occupied Netherlands of the year 1571 AD, where the young widow Ann and her little son Florentijn have a close encounter with…

 

The Ghosts of Doodenbos

 

“Never go into the woods, especially not alone.”

Like everybody in the Dutch village of Doodenbos, Ann had grown up with those words, had heard them since she was old enough to walk.

“Don’t go into the woods alone or they will get you.”

Ann didn’t know who “they” were. No one else did either, since no one had ever seen them and lived to tell the tale. All she knew was that something fearsome and terrible lived in the woods that surrounded the village of Doodenbos.

Oh, the road that led to the neighbouring villages and the nearest market town was safe enough. Though even on the road, it was safer if you travelled with a caravan or armed guards and never ever by night.

But take one step off the road and you were doomed. Like Jan Renneboom, who’d gone into the woods on a dare and never returned. Or Dineke de Boer, who’d followed a runaway cow into the woods and never came back and neither did the cow. Or so many others from the village who had ventured too close to the woods and had been taken by the creature that lived there.

Ann didn’t know whether any of those stories were really true. But better to stay safe and keep to the village and the roads. So Ann had been told since she was a small child.

She was no longer a child. Ann was a grown woman now, a mother herself and — at twenty-six — a widow before her time. Her husband Martijn had gone off to fight for Willem of Orange, fight to throw the Spanish oppressors out of the Low Countries. He had never returned.

But at least he’d left Ann a gift to remember him by, the child she’d carried under her heart when he left, her little son Florentijn. He was three now, a pudgy golden-haired boy who was the joy of her life, her sun and her moon, her everything.

Once the mourning period ended, there had been other suitors. Widowers from the village, looking for a wife and mother for their orphaned children. Farmers in need of a wife and even the occasional merchant passing through. But Ann had turned them all down. For even though it had been three years now, she still wasn’t ready to forget Martijn, still wasn’t ready to move on and find someone else. Maybe she’d never be ready.

After all, there were stories of men who’d been thought lost in war or at sea and who’d nonetheless returned home, after years or even decades. What if Martijn was still out there, still alive, languishing in a Spanish prison, hoping to escape and return to her someday.

“It’s not good for a woman to live alone,” one of her would-be suitors, a widowed farmer named Pieter Ten Bos, had said, “Especially not in a house that’s so close to the edge of the woods. You know that they are out there, waiting, hunting.”

“Yes, they’re out there, in the woods,” Ann had replied. Sometimes, she thought she could see them, strange shapes moving around between the trees at dusk, watching and waiting. “Not here, not in the village, not in my house. I keep the fire and the lanterns burning all night, so we’re perfectly safe.”

And besides, she wasn’t alone. After all, she still had Florentijn.

When her little boy started to walk, it was a challenge. For like all children, Florenitjn was curious and eager to explore the world around him. And like all children, he was fascinated by the big trees at the edge of her small plot of land. He was quick, too, running on his little pudgy legs as fast as they would carry him.

There had been a few near misses, where Florentijn took off towards the woods and Ann only managed to catch him at the very last moment, so close to the deadly treeline that she could already hear them shuffling and moaning among the birch trees.

As a woman living alone, Ann had to be inventive. And so she took a piece of string, bound one end around Florentijn’s waist and the other around her own. That way, he had enough freedom to run and play like a little boy should, but she could still keep him close, keep him safe.

And besides, it was only for a few years. For soon, Florentijn would be old enough to understand that he must never ever go into the woods, especially not alone, that he must always keep to the village and the roads. Besides, it wasn’t a bad life for a child. There were plenty of things to do in the village, lots of places to explore, lots of children to play with.

So Ann and Florentijn lived peacefully in their little house at the edge of the woods. In summer, Ann tended the vegetable garden and in winter, she did needlework. And every morning, when she woke up at the crack of dawn, the first thing she did was to milk the cow Klementientje. Florentijn always tagged along, firmly bound to his mother by a piece of string.

***

It was a cold morning in December of the Year of the Lord 1571. Snow had started to fall overnight, the first snow of the winter, and continued to fall throughout the morning. Thick, fluffy flakes were swirling around the little house at the edge of the woods, like women in lace caps dancing in the freezing air.

Florentijn was beside himself with joy. He ran in circles around the yard, giggling and chasing snowflakes, the string that connected him to his mother tugging on Ann’s waist.

Ann would have loved to chase snowflakes with her little boy or maybe have a snowball fight or build a snowman. But first things first. For Klementientje was already mooing in her pen, her udder heavy with milk. So Ann headed for the stable, pulling a reluctant Florentijn behind her.

She grabbed the wooden stool, placed a bucket under Klementientje and began to milk. Occasionally, she felt a tug on her waist, as Florentijn reached the end of his rope in his quest to chase snowflakes. She heard him laugh and giggle and promised to herself that they’d build a snowman later on, once she’d milked Klementientje and done the other household chores.

The bucket was nearly full of fresh, still warm milk, when Ann realised that she hadn’t felt a tug on her waist in a while now. Nor had she heard Florentijn giggle and laugh and play. Instead, the stable and the yard were deadly silent, the only sounds the satisfied chewing of Klementientje and the beating of her own heart.

Filled with dread, Ann turned around and looked out over a silent yard, where the snow was already covering Florentijn’s little footsteps and her bigger ones. She looked down at herself, at the string that was always tied around her waist, linking her to Florentijn just as the umbilical cord had once linked them together. She reached for the string and found only a frayed end, where the cord had snapped.

Ann jumped to her feet, kicking over both the stool and the milk bucket and causing Klementientje to moo in protest. She dashed out into the yard, looked around. No Florentijn. And then she ran, ran towards the woods where she knew he must have gone, because that was where he always wanted to go. She ran and prayed, prayed to the good Lord above that he’d keep her little boy safe from the things that lived in the woods.

Ann reached the edge of the forest. At the treeline, she stopped and called Florentijn’s name, again and again. But there was no answer.

“Don’t go in,” a voice inside her mind said, a voice that sounded suspiciously like her father, dead five years now, “Run and get help. Run over to Pieter Ten Bos or Henrik de Klerk. They’re big strong men and Henrik even has an old musket. They can help you.”

But running over to the Ten Bos or De Klerk farms would take time, time that she did not have. For every moment that she hesitated was a moment that Florentijn could venture ever deeper into the woods and ever closer towards doom.

So Ann took a deep breath and crossed the threshold she’d sworn she’d never cross. She stepped into the woods.

In the thick, fresh snow, she could barely make out the little footprints that had to be Florentijn’s. Nonetheless, she followed the faint trail. It took only a few steps, then she was completely surrounded by birch trees, their white trunks melding with the snowy ground and their barren branches stark against the grey sky. She turned around and looked back, towards her house, towards safety, only to find that she could not see the house anymore. High above, a jay circled, calling out its warning.

Onwards, she trudged, deeper into the forbidden woods. Branches slapped her in the face, leaving angry red marks. Snow seeped into her wooden shoes and her toes became numb, but still she went on, following the trail that was getting fainter with every step.

By now, the undergrowth was getting thicker, making her progress more difficult. Brambles grabbed for her, tearing her dress and scratching her legs, as if they were trying to trap her in place. But Ann always tore herself loose again.

Undaunted, she went on, ever deeper into the woods. At times, she felt as if someone or something was watching her. But whenever she turned around, there was nothing there. Nothing except for trees and brambles and undergrowth.

Once, Ann spotted a movement between the barren branches. She froze and braced herself for an attack, but it was only a crow that fluttering away, croaking in protest.

And then, just as Ann was about to loose the trail for good, she heard something. Florentijn. He was crying.

With renewed speed and vigour, Ann followed the sound and stumbled upon a small clearing in the middle of the forbidden forest. And there was Florentijn, sitting in the snow and making snowballs, oblivious to the cold and the danger as only a child could be. And he wasn’t crying, he was laughing, laughing and clapping his little hands in delight.

But Florentijn wasn’t alone. For there were others with him. Creatures vaguely shaped like humans, with arms and legs and bony hands. Their faces were skeletal, their flesh grey and crumbling. They stared hungrily at Florentijn with hollow black holes, where their eyes should be.

Once, when Ann was but a young girl, heavy rains had flooded the small cemetery of Doodenbos and washed up coffins and corpses. She remembered seeing a corpse in his broken coffin, remembered the grey decaying flesh, the hollow eyes and the wisps of strawy hair that still clung to the skull.

The things that encroached upon Florentijn looked just like that washed up corpse Ann had seen as a child so long ago. They looked like the dead, because that’s what they were. Revenants, unquiet corpses, the dead returned to prey on the living. And now they had come for Florentijn, their bony hands reaching for him, stroking his beautiful golden hair.

Ann burst into the clearing, heedless of the danger. “Leave him alone,” she cried, “If you must take someone, take me, but leave my boy alone. He’s just a child.”

Florentijn turned to her and smiled his broad baby smile. “Mama?”

“Leave him alone,” Ann cried again. She dropped down to knees in the snow and tried to pull Florentijn away, pull him away from the dead hands that gripped him. But the dead held him fast, hissing at her with their tongueless mouths. More of them emerged from the woods all around, steadily advancing upon her and Florentijn, surrounding them.

One corpse, a woman wearing the remnants of a lacy cap, grabbed Florentijn’s little hand, hissing and spitting. Ann recognised her or at least she recognised the lacy cap.

Her name had been Mieneke van Zand, a wealthy widow, skilled lacemaker and secret heretic who would not abandon the Protestant faith. Three years ago, the Spaniards had sentenced her to death by drowning. Normally, heretics were drowned in ponds, rivers and creeks — those that were not burned at the stake, that was. But it had been the depth of winter and icy cold and so the Spaniards had simply drowned her in a large barrel of water. Mieneke van Zand had gone unrepentant to her death, with her head held high, wearing her very best lacy cap. The same cap that the undead corpse was wearing.

Ann forced herself to look at the other corpses and saw more evidence of violent death. There was a woman with long black hair clad in the tatters of a penitent’s gown, the mark of the garotte still visible on her throat. A girl with a swollen belly and deep cuts on her wrists. A man who still wore the hangman’s noose around his neck. A soldier, half his arm torn away by a musket shot. A man in fine, if tattered clothes, carrying his severed head under his arm. The charred body of a heretic burned at the stake. And suddenly, Ann understood.

These were the bodies of those who’d died violently — by the hand of the hangman or at the end of a musket or a blade or maybe by their own hand. They’d been sinners, criminals, heretics, suicides or soldiers who’d fallen in battle and they’d all been buried in unconsecrated ground right here in the forest. And because they hadn’t been given a proper Christian burial, they had come back to avenge themselves upon the living.

And now they wanted to take her child, her one and only, her Florentijn.

“Let go off my boy, Mieneke,” Ann yelled at the corpse with the lacy cap, “You made a cap for my Florentijn, when he was but a baby, so have mercy on him now.”

At sound of her name, the thing that had once been Mieneke van Zand paused, almost as if her rotting ears could still hear, her rotting brain still understand.

Encouraged, Ann continued. “My Florentijn is just a child. He’s not to blame for what happened to you. Take the Spaniards or take me, if you must, but leave my boy alone, I beg you. After all, you were human once, all of you.”

The corpses paused and seemed to confer amongst themselves, confer in a language no living ear could hear. And while they did not let go off Florentijn, not yet, they no longer held him in a death grip either. Ann took the opportunity to pull the boy to her, to crush him to her chest and wrap her arms around him.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice hoarse with crying, “I… I’d help you, if I could. Cause what was done to you is wrong.”

But how, how could she help those who were already dead and doomed to roam the woods of Doodenbos for all eternity?

“If I bring the priest — not the papist priest the Spaniards foisted on us, but the proper priest, Father van der Poort — and he blesses the ground, blesses you, will that help?”

The thing that had once been Mieneke van Zand nodded, the rotting lace cap bobbing on her head.

“I’ll come back with Father van der Poort, I swear. Just let us go, please.”

The corpses stood still for a moment, then they suddenly parted. Ann picked up Florentijn, though he was almost too heavy to carry by now, and made a run for it. But before she could get away, a corpse stepped in front of her.

It was a man or at least, it had been one once. A tall man, with dark hair that fell to his shoulders. He’d probably been handsome in life, but now he was dead like all the others. And like all the others, he’d died violently. Part of his chest and shoulder were missing, torn away by a musket shot or maybe even a cannon ball. The scorched and tattered remnants of his doublet hung over the wound. It was a fine doublet, made from good thick wool by loving hands. Ann recognised it at once. Because those loving hands had been hers, more than three years ago.

“Martijn…” she stammered, “…is that really you?”

The corpse did not speak. It could not. But it nodded. And then it reached out, its long bony hands, hands which had been so wonderfully gentle, when he’d been alive, touching her cheek. And though Ann knew she should be afraid, she found that she wasn’t.

“Oh my God, you tried to get back to me, to us, didn’t you? Only that you never made it. A Spanish musket ball found you and then they just dumped you here in the woods, not even a mile from home.”

Martijn looked at her and Ann thought she saw a flash of sadness in the hollows where his eyes had once been. His hand still touched her, tracing her face. Then he reached for the son he’d never seen, the bony fingers gently ruffling the child’s golden hair.

“This is our boy. I named him Florentijn, after your father, just as I promised before you left. I would have named him after you, but…” Tears were streaming down her face now, choking off her voice. “…I still thought, still hoped you’d come back.”

Martijn patted Florentijn on the head once more. Then he reached out for Ann and gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. He nodded at her in encouragement and stepped aside, joining the ranks of the undead once again.

And Ann ran. She ran through the woods, carrying her little son, tears for the husband she’d lost more than three years ago streaming down her cheeks. She ran from the dead, cold winter woods, ran for the little house at the edge of the wood, where there was warmth and life and love that even death could not extinguish.

The End

***

That’s it for this month’s edition of First Monday Free Fiction. Check back next month, when a new free story will be posted.

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Star Trek Discovery realises “That Hope Is You, Part II” in its season 3 finale

We’ve reached the season finale of Star Trek Discovery, so here is the last installment in my ongoing episode by episode reviews of season 3 of Star Trek Discovery. Reviews of previous episodes may be found here.

Warning: Spoilers behind the cut!

“That Hope Is You, Part II” starts where the previous episode, which confusingly was not part I of “That Hope Is You” (though the mystery of the dangling two-parter has now been resolved), left off. The Discovery is still in the hands of Osyra, Michael and Book, who have forced their way aboard, have been apprehended and Admiral Vance has just ordered the rest of Starfleet to open fire upon Discovery.

So we get a pitched battle with Starfleet firing upon Discovery, while Discovery is firing back and also targetting the shield generator. And then a whole fleet from Ne’Var a.k.a. the planet formerly known as Vulcan shows up in response to a distress call Michael sent to her mother who’s living on Ne’Var.

Meanwhile, acting captain Tilly and the bridge crew have broken out from where they were imprisoned and are having phaser battles in the corridors, aided by sphere data which has taken over some repair bots.  They’re not doing too badly either, but then Osyra closes the bulkhead doors and turns off the life support in the respective section of the ship, so Tilly and the bridge crew are trapped with rapidly depleting air supplies.

Because everybody loses, when the Discovery gets destroyed, Michael finally offers to ask Starfleet and the Ne’Var fleet to stand down. She also tells Osyra that they will listen to her and that Ne’Var is only here anyway because Michael called them. And so Michael implores Admiral Vance to trust her and let the Discovery and the Veridian go. Vance does let them go, though he does send all of Starfleet and the Ne’Var fleet of in pursuit. Everybody is using their warp drives, because Discovery can no longer jump with Stamets off the ship. Apparently, the dilithium shortage which propelled much of the arc of this entire season is forgotten when it serves the plot.

Osyra wants the dilithium from the mysterious planet inside the Verubin nebula that Discovery found two episodes ago. And since Book unwisely told her that he knows how to get there (to be fair, he was trying to save Ryn’s life at the time), Osyra first orders her pet scientist Aurelio to use his truth serum on Book and when that doesn’t work, she orders Zareh to torture him. Because Book is an empath, the torture will eventually kill him. Aurelio is not at all happy with this – he still believes in Osyra’s good side and besides, he didn’t sign on for torturing people to death – but Osyra threatens him that if he doesn’t shut, she’ll kick him and his family out of the privileged life Aurelio enjoys as an Emerald Chain scientist.

Since Osyra is a sadist, she also makes Michael watch as she tortures the man Michael loves. Eventually, Michael convinces Osyra that she can persuade Book to talk. But once she gets close to him, she activates the quarantine containment field of the sickbay (since Discovery has no dedicated torture chamber, Osyra decided to use the sickbay), locking out Osyra and most of her Regulators. Then Michael and Book make a run for it.

We now get some more Die Hard inspired action, including some thrilling fights in and rides on top of turbolifts (we also get our most in-depth look at how turbolifts work to date, though we’ve seen glimpses before). Because if you’re riffing on Die Hard, you of course have to have an elevator shaft fight. And of course someone – Zareh in this case – gets knocked down an elevator shaft.

Michael also accesses the ship com and sends a coded message to Tilly, telling Tilly and the bridge crew to knock the Discovery out of warp by exploding a bomb that detaches one of the detachable nacelles. Of course, the explosion will likely kill whoever sets off the bomb, but Tilly and the bridge crew are going to die from lack of oxygen anyway. In the end, everybody passes out from lack of oxygen except for Joanne Owosekun who has had deep sea diving training and can control her breath and oxygen intake. Of course, it now seems as if poor Owosekun is doomed, which annoyed me because I like Owosekun a lot. Never mind that killing off a character of colour sends a bad message, as Keith R.A. DeCandido points out in his review at Tor.com. However, the sphere data in the form of a repair bot saves Owosekun and takes her to safety, just before the bomb explodes, detaching the nacelle and knocking the Discovery out of warp. The robot is fatally damaged to the process, but Jett Reno manages to repair it.

We also get a touching reunion and hug between Owosekun and Dettmer, once everybody wakes up again and Dettmer realises that Owosekun is not dead. By the way, am I the only one who gets a “more than just friends” vibe from the interactions of Dettmer and Owosekun? Which I for one would welcome, even if Discovery already is the gayest ship in Starfleet. But then, Discovery has to make up for more than fifty years of no gay people in Star Trek.

Michael finally makes it to the data core, where she intends to use her authorisation as (former) first officer to reset the Discovery computer and lock out Osyra and her people. However, Osyra is already waiting for her and so we get a hand to hand fight between Osyra and Michael or rather her stunt double, since Sonequa Martin-Green is already visibly pregnant at this point. Osyra pushes Michael into some programmable matter, but Michael emerges again, kills Osyra, resets the computer, beams all Regulators off the ship and saves Tilly and the others.

I have to admit that Osyra’s demise was a little too quick for my taste, especially since the character reverted to the one note villain she was in her first appearance after acquiring more nuance last episode. In fact, I feel that Osyra was shortchanged, considering that she was supposed to be the main villain of the season. Because Osyra isn’t even mentioned until halfway through the season and only appears in four episodes. Not to mention that the run-up to the season finale was interrupted by the largely superfluous “Terra Firma” two-parter.  In fact, I would have preferred it, if Osyra had escaped to vamp and villainise another day.

But even though Osyra is gone and Discovery back under the control of her crew, they are not out of the woods yet. For once Discovery was knocked out of warp, Osyra ordered the much larger Veridian to pull her in, so Discovery now sits in Veridian‘s cargo hold with some very pissed off regulators firing at her.

Luckily, Michael has a cunning plan. Overloading the warp core and eject it to blow up Veridian. Never mind that overloading and blowing up your warp core in a universe with a dilithium shortage is a huge waste, there is another problem. Without Stamets, Discovery can’t use the spore drive to jump away. However, Aurelio – who is now fully on the side of the Discovery crew – has figured out that since Book’s empathic abilities allow him to communicate with all sorts of species, he should be able to communicate with the mycelium network as well and operate the spore drive. Coincidentally, does this mean that the show is keeping Aurelio around? Cause while I wasn’t particularly interested in the character himself, I do welcome giving disabled actors roles and support.

Not that I mind that people other than Stamets can operate the spore drive or that this opens up the possibility to having more ships with spore drives. But nonetheless, the solution is a little too tidy. Not to mention that Book has to make a complicated jump on his first try, without ever having done anything like this before. Meanwhile, Stamets had serious issues with making complicated jumps and even passed out at times.

Though I have to commend Discovery for firing all of the various Chekhov’s (Anton, not Pavel) phasers deposited around the ship in the finale. The sphere data gaining sentience, the detachable nacelles, the repair bots, Book’s empathy, etc… all play a crucial role in bringing about the solution.

Meanwhile, Saru and Culber are still trapped on the nameless dilithium planet with deadly radiation and the terrified Su’Kal. Luckily, Adira shows up with some of the much needed anti-radiation drugs, which they hid in their mouth, so the holo program would not make the drugs vanish, when it alters Adira into a species with impressive face markings. However, the holo program does even more. It also makes Gray visible to everybody – and turns him into a Vulcan. There is a touching scene as Culber meets his son-in-law (sort of) for the first time and hugs him and Adira. I have to say that I really love the little found rainbow family of Stamets and Culber, their non-binary adopted kid and their trans boyfriend (though I don’t think it’s been established whether Gray the character is trans or just the actor who plays him) with Jett Reno as the grumpy lesbian aunt. I really hope that we will see more of this found rainbow family in season 4.

But even though Adira bought Culber and Saru time, the situation on the planet is rapidly deteriorating. The holo program is failing, while the crashed spaceship is about to break apart. Meanwhile, Saru does his best to comfort Su’Kal and bond with him to get him to switch off the holo program and also face whatever it was that terrified him badly enough to cause the Burn. Eventually, Saru succeeds and Su’Kal finally agrees to enter the locked room. Here, they find the decomposed corpses of the ship’s Kelpian crew, including Su’Kal’s mother. Cause what freaked out a young Su’Kal enough to burn up all dilithium supplies in the galaxy and destroy the Federation was witnessing the death of his mother, a convenient log recording reveals. There is also a recorded message from Su’Kal’s mother thanking the rescuers and asking them to take Su’Kal to her family on Kaminar.

As solutions to mysteries go, this one wasn’t all that surprising. However, Doug Jones as Saru and Bill Irwin as Su’Kal give a great performance, as Saru is trying to bond with a 125-year-old child that is Su’Kal. Coincidentally, both Saru and Stamets and Culber have now thrown their hat in the ring for the 2021 Jonathan and Martha Kent Fictional Parent of the Year Award, though the competition will likely be steep. And indeed, it seems as if depictions of parenthood in popular culture are moving away from awful parents (and indeed the only reason there is a Darth Vader Parenthood Award at all is because awful parents are such a commoncliché in popular culture) towards portraying more loving and supportive parents. I for one welcome this change, if only because I think we need more positive depictions of parenthood.

But even after Saru has persuaded Su’Kal to face his fear, the away team are still stuck on a rapidly disintegrating crashed spaceship with Discovery and the rest of Starfleet occupied elsewhere. And indeed, when Stamets begs Admiral Vance to send a ship to the nebula to rescue Culber, Adira and Saru, he is rebuffed with, “Sorry, but no. Michael made the right decision.” However, in the end, Discovery arrives in the nick of time after all to rescue Saru, Culber, Adira and Su’Kal. Gray is back to being a ghost again or whatever he is, but Culber promises him to find a way that Gray can become permanently visible to everybody aboard Discovery, not just Adira. I suspect a mobile holo emitter like the one used by Voyager‘s doctor might be the solution they’re looking for. James Whitbrook makes the same point in his review at io9.

We now get something of an epilogue, wherein Michael explains that the Emerald Chain collapsed after the death of Osyra, which I for one find illogical, because when the leader of a criminal syndicate or whatever the Emerald Chain was supposed to be falls, there’s always at least one, usually more would-be successors waiting in the wings. So there might be infighting, but there wouldn’t be collapse, unless the entire leadership of the Emerald Chain happened to be aboard Veridian, when it blew up. In fact, The Mandalorian handled this aspect much better in the epilogue to its own recent season finale.

The Federation has found a way to mine the dilithium on the nameless planet inside the Verubin nebula, which again seems a little too tidy, considering that Discovery was barely able to get close enough to the planet to beam down an away team, which was subsequently almost killed by the intense radiation there. And now the planet is suddenly open for mining? What is this, another prison mine? And even if the planet mainly consists of dilithium, is that dilithium really enough to rebuild the Federation? It seems so, since both the Trill and Ne’Var are about to rejoin (nice cameos from their respective leaders). And even the lone Starfleet officer manning a deep space relay station from the season premiere is back for a brief cameo, which made me happy, because I feared that the poor fellow had been forgotten, while still remaining steadfastly at his post.

Since Discovery can jump anywhere in the galaxy, it has been tasked with transporting dilithium to the worlds disconnected from the Federation. However, Saru has taken a leave of absence to take Su’Kal back to Kaminar. And in his absence, Michael is promoted to captain by Admiral Vance (who basically tells her that she’s awesome, even though she’s a maverick who thinks orders are merely suggestions). The season ends with a grinning Michael, now clad in the grey uniform of 32nd century starfleet (which also happen to be cut a bit more loosely to accomodate body fat and baby bumps) , sitting down in the captain’s chair. Cue a Gene Roddenberry quote about the importance of connection and the credits, which are accompanied by the classic end title music of the original Star Trek.

Now Discovery changes captains as often as it changes security chiefs (and I note that this position still hasn’t been filled since Commander Nhan left to hang out aboard the seed vault ship) and Michael certainly deserves the position. As for anybody who complains that Michael is too much of a maverick to be captain material, being a maverick never harmed the careers of Kirk, Spock, Picard, Riker, Archer, Sisko, Janeway, Pike or even Lorca (or Commander MacLane for that matter) in the slightest. If you don’t have any problems with either of those characters, but have issues with Michael, ask yourself why.

That said, I’m not really happy with this development. Not because I don’t want to see Michael as captain, but because I’d hate to lose Saru. I initially didn’t much care for the character, but Saru has grown on me a lot and is now one of my favourite characters. He also was a very good captain, even if he was a different kind of captain than the usual Star Trek captain. And I really hope that Saru will be back in season 4, maybe with Su’Kal in tow. Or was “Bring your family along” an innovation confined to the Next Generation era?

Most other reviewers feel similarly. The AV-Club‘s Zack Handlen, who is not a Michael fan, isn’t happy about her being promoted. Keith R.A. DeCandido, James Whitbrook and Camestros Felapton don’t mind Michael getting promoted, but would all hate to loose Saru over this.

All in all, season 3 was the strongest season of Star Trek Discovery to date, even if it was not without its share of flaws. It seems that the show has finally found its feet, which is a very good thing. I also enjoyed how Discovery alternated between very classic Star Trek storylines given a fresh spin and exploring space opera and science fiction tropes that Star Trek has rarely tackled to date. It’s nice that the bridge crew was finally given more to do and Book, Adira, Gray, Aurelio, Admiral Vance, Su’Kal and of course Grudge (“She is a queen”, a furious Book tells Zareh at one point) are all welcome additions to the cast. And even if Osyra and the Emerald Chain were dispatched of a little too easily, rebuilding the Federation offers plenty of storytelling possibilities.

So bring on season 4.

 

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Star Trek Discovery realises that “There Is a Tide…”

Yeah, this review is two days late, since the powers that be at CBS All Access apparently believe that all their viewers have nothing better to do on New Year’s Eve than watch TV (or that they all have families who want to watch Star Trek Discovery, too). Still, here is the latest installment in my ongoing episode by episode reviews of season 3 of Star Trek Discovery. Reviews of previous episodes may be found here.

Warning: Spoilers behind the cut!

Star Trek Discovery certainly celebrated New Year’s Eve with one hell of an episode. “There Is a Tide…” already starts out with a bang, when we see the Veridian pursuing the Discovery in an homage to the famous opening of Star Wars: A New Hope. I’ve said before that Discovery is mixing classic Star Trek tropes and themes with tropes and themes borrowed from other SFF works, including of course Star Wars. But when I saw the opening space chase shot just like the opening of A New Hope, I thought, “Okay, now you’re just trolling us.”

However, the opening scene is not as straightforward as it looks – after all, Discovery was hijacked by Osyra and the Emerald Chain last episode. Osyra and her people locked up the Discovery crew and fitted Stamets, the only crewmember without whom the ship cannot operate, with a brainwashing device. Though Osyra’s people find that they cannot delete a few files of what appears to be old movies in the Discovery‘s central computer. Keen-eyed viewers will remember that the infodump sphere persuaded Saru to hold movie nights in the shuttle bay to boost morale on board, so three guesses what that undeletable data is.

Osyra has also brought in help in the form of Aurelio, a wheelchair using scientist (more on him later), and Zaher, the villainous courier from “Far From Home”, who was last seem chased out into the parasitic ice of the nameless mining planet. To everybody’s surprise, Zaher did survive the parasitic ice, though he has a frostbitten hand now. He’s also not at all pleased to see Tilly again.

The initial space chase is a ruse to get Starfleet headquarters to open the forcefield and let Discovery in, allowing Osyra to infiltrate Starfleet headquarters. And indeed, Admiral Vance is extremely sceptical of the whole thing, especially since he can’t hail anybody aboard Discovery, but doesn’t want to loose his secret weapon Discovery either. So he orders the force-field opened.

However, Michael and Book arrive hot on Discovery‘s and Veridian‘s heels and make it back to Starfleet headquarters in record time thanks to a conveniently located Transwarp tunnel that couriers sometimes use. Michael tries to hail Starfleet headquarters to warn them of Osyra’s infiltration attempt, but unfortunately, the coms are down. And so Michael and Book give chase and crashland Book’s ship (which still doesn’t have a name) inside Discovery‘s shuttle bay. It’s not quite clear what this manoeuvre is supposed to accomplish, except place Book and Michael (and Grudge) back aboard the Discovery to mess with Osyra’s plans.

However, Book’s and Michael’s piloting stunt plus the fact that the Veridian just sits there and does nothing, once Discovery is inside the Federation headquarters forcefield persuade Admiral Vance that something is very definitely wrong. Vance deduces that Osyra is not on board of the Veridian at all, but on board of the Discovery, and order all other Starfleet ships inside the headquarters bubble to aim their weapons at Discovery. Now Osyra does hail Vance. She wants to destroy the Federation and Starfleet – no, to everybody’s surprise, she wants to negotiate.

Vance is willing to negotiate – provided Osyra lets the crew of the Discovery go, which Osyra is willing to do, though she does retain Tilly, Stamets and the bridge crew as leverage. And so we get a great confrontation/negotiation between Vance and Osyra with Eli, the lie detector hologram, as a kind of straight man.

Talking of Eli, Osyra asks why Starfleet uses lie detector holograms. “Because a face is friendlier than a light blinking red or green”, Vance replies. “And of course it’s a human face”, Osyra remarks in a little jab that even though the Federation is a multi-species organisation committed to equality, what we see of it is still remarkably human-centric.

Next, Osyra makes her proposal. She point blank admits that the Emerald Chain is running out of dilithium, since she assumes Ryn already told Starfleet anyway, and then proposes a union between the Federation and the Emerald Chain for the greater good of the galaxy. Because – so Osyra points out – the Emerald Chain may have dilithium issues, but they also have a lot of territory, a lot of people, a large network of mercantile exchanges, some of them operating in ex-Federation territory the Federation can no longer access since the Burn, and also a cadre of excellent scientists. In short, the Emerald Chain has a lot to offer. As Camestros Felapton says in his review, Osyra may be a supervillain, but she is a practical one.

Of course, the Emerald Chain are also criminals and slave traders, as Vance points out, so it’s not just a matter of the Federation accepting “a bit of capitalism” in its territory. However, Osyra is also willing to make a lot of concessions. She is willing to outlaw slavery (and remember that part of the reason why slavery was gradually outlawed throughout the 19th century is that states still practicing slavery suddenly faced political and trade difficulties*), willing to leave pre-warp planets like Kwejon alone and even willing to step back from her leadership role in favour of someone more palatable to the Federation such as a respected scientist. Osyra has even brought a draft treaty. Even better, according to Eli, the lie detector hologram, Osyra is telling the truth.

The whole thing sounds too good to be true and Vance is well aware of this. And since lie detectors don’t actually detect lies, but react to physiological changes, they can be outwitted even by humans in the real world (or give false positives), so it’s very likely that Osyra is somehow tricking Eli. In fact, Eli, the holographic lie detector, is another example of specifically American assumptions, because the US relies heavily on lie detectors in spite of their many documented weaknesses. Meanwhile, lie detectors play almost no role in many other countries – e.g. in Germany, they’re illegal for court use – and so are just considered “One of those weird US obsessions”. But Star Trek Discovery is still a US show and so they of course have lie detector holograms in the 32nd century.

But even though he knows that Osyra is likely lying – no matter what Eli says – Vance is sorely tempted, because her offer would solve a lot of his problems. However, he has one condition of his own, one he knows that Osyra won’t agree to. He demands that whoever will become her successor at the head of the Emerald Chain puts Osyra on trial for her crimes.

The negotiation sequences could easily have been boring “talking head” scenes, but instead they’re fantastic, largely because actors Oded Fehr and Janet Kidder (niece of former Lois Lane Margot Kidder, to whom she bears a certain resemblance) as well as Brendan Beiser as Eli, the deadpan hologram, give their all, as Tor.com reviewer Keith R.A. DeCandido points out. One moment I particularly liked is where Vance offers Osyra the rather unimpressive Starfleet equivalent of a charcuterie board. Osyra eats a slice of apple and remarks that it tastes almost like the real thing – apples apparently being rare in the 32nd century. Whereupon Vance informs her exactly what the “apple” and all other replicator food is made of – and yes, it’s exactly what you think. In short, Vance knows that Osyra is feeding him shit and so he is doing the same to her.

Since Osyra is obviously not going to let herself be arrested and stand trial, she beams back aboard Discovery, where things are very much not going as planned either. For after Michael and Book crashed into the shuttle bay, Michael slipped away and Book remained aboard the ship and let himself get arrested to throw the Emerald Chain Regulators off Michael’s scent. Michael and Book also exchange an “I love you” and share a kiss. Now those fatal three words have been said on screen, I hope that this doesn’t mean that Book will get killed off in the finale, if only because I like Book and would hate to lose him. Besides, Michael deserves someone.

As planned, Book is arrested and locked up with Tilly, Ryn and the bridge crew. Meanwhile, Michael sneaks around aboard Discovery, gets into a fight with a Regulator during which she gets stabbed into the leg and then proceeds to crawl through the Jeffreys Tubes.  When the Regulator Michael has taken out is found, Zareh – who was left in charge of Discovery during Osyra’s absence – can locate her via the Regulator’s com device and sends more Regulators into the Jeffreys Tubes to apprehend her. However, Michael ties herself to a rail, fires her phaser at a fire sensors and so causes the fire suppression system to kick in and flush the Regulators out into space. “Ahem, some of your Regulators seem to have taken a spacewalk without EV-equipment,” Vance informs Osyra, once he gets the news, while trying hard to suppress a smile. One of the Regulators clings to Michael’s boots, so Michael kicks off her boots and flushes the Regulator and boots out into space, which means that she is now barefoot.

If you think that all that sounds very reminiscent of Die Hard – a movie many of us will have watched during the holiday season (I certainly did) – you’re not alone. Camestros Felapton, Keith R.A. DeCandido and Zack Handlen of The AV-Club all make the Die Hard comparison. Of course, Die Hard type stories – or “Base under siege” tales, as we’ve taken to calling that particularly story type – are a staple of science fiction. They’re particular common in Doctor Who, but Star Trek has had its share of “Base under siege” stories, too, as io9 reviewer James Whitbrook points out. Though I don’t think Star Trek ever had a story which so directly references Die Hard, but then some of Star Trek “Base under siege” stories actually predate Die Hard. But then, Die Hard didn’t invent the “Base under siege” trope either, it’s just an exceptionally good example thereof. And now I wonder whether the infodump sphere has a copy of Die Hard in its archives to show on Saru’s movie nights.

While Michael is letting out her inner Bruce Willis, Tilly and the bridge crew don’t sit idle either. Of course, they’re locked up and kept under constant guard and forbidden from speaking with each other. But luckily, Starfleet Academy teaches Morse code and so the crew are able to communicate with each other and coordinate an escape plan. Eventually, a Regulator catches on that there’s something up with all that tapping and hits Bryce, but the message has already been sent and so the crew overwhelm the Regulator guards. “Uhm, what just happened?” Book, who clearly doesn’t know Morse code, asks.

Ryn manages to hack into Discovery‘s systems, first to unlock the doors and then to project a lot of lifesigns to mask those of the crew. Then Tilly and the bridge crew escape, while Book and Ryn hole up with phasers to hold off the Regulators who are bound to come. They don’t do too badly, but are eventually overpowered and taken to Osyra, who has by now returned from her negotiations with Vance. Osyra unceremoniously shoots Ryn and is about to shoot Book, when Book tells her that he knows where to find dilithium, more than Osyra will ever need. It turns out that Osyra already knows about the dilithium deposits inside the Verubin nebula that Discovery discovered last episode, but can’t get to them. Book, however, insists that he knows how to get into the nebula. After all, he flew into the nebula last episode.

Meanwhile, Tilly and the bridge crew get unexpected help in the form of some of the repair bots seen in the title sequence and occasionally in the show. Because the repair bots have taken to following Tilly and the bridge crew around and project a Buster Keaton clip, when challenges. “Are you the sphere data?” Tilly asks. The bots confirm this. “Let’s take back our ship”, they say. So commenter Peer was right that the infodump sphere will find a way to save everybody. Coincidentally, this also means that Discovery has tackled another common space opera trope that Star Trek has previously ignored, namely that of the cute robot.

While all this is going on, Michael is on her way to engineering, because she has figured out that Osyra can’t jump anywhere without Stamets. Get Stamets off the ship and she’s stuck. But while Stamets was fitted with a brain control device towards the end of the previous episode, he’s now himself again, though chain up in the engine room and engaged in a confrontation of his own with Osyra’s pet scientist Aurelio. Aurelio has been tasked with figuring out how the spore drive works and how to replicate it. Stamets assures him that this is impossible, because they’d need a tardigrade and tardigrades happen to have gone extinct. And the tardigrade DNA spliced into Stamets’ genes cannot be removed. “You’d have to kill me”, Stamets says. Aurelio, however, is pretty certain that it can be done.

Stamets also tries to engage Aurelio in conversation and point out what they have in common. They’re both scientists, for starters, and both parents, since Aurelio wears three small rings in his ear, a sign among the Orions (apparently, Aurelio, though human, is married to an Orion) that one is a parent. Of course, it has been notable before that Stamets and Culber took on something of a parental role towards Adira (and Gray), but this episode is the first time that Stamets explicitly says that he considers Adira his child. So Paul Stamets just threw his hat in the ring for the Jonathan and Martha Kent Fictional Parent of the Year Award, though unfortunately a day too late. Maybe this year, Paul, though be warned, because the competition is stiff.

Aurelio also offers a different perspective on Osyra, for while she may be a supervillain and crime boss, she also saw something in the young disabled Aurelio and made sure that he got treatment and education. Indeed, this episode did a lot to flesh out Osyra and make her a more three-dimensional character rather than the one-note villain she was before. Regarding Aurelio, Kenneth Mitchell, the actor who plays him, has been in Star Trek Discovery before (and in lots of other things, which is why he looks so familiar), playing different Klingons in heavy make-up. As Keith R.A. DeCandido and James Whitbrook point out, Kenneth Mitchell was diagnosed with ALS in 2018 and is a wheelchair user in real life, so it’s great that the Discovery producers not only continued to cast him even after his diagnosis, but even found a way to integrate his wheelchair into the episode and show that disabled people will be a part of our future just as they are a part of our present.

Stamets’ confrontation with Aurelio is cut short, when Michael shows up, stuns Aurelio and the guards and frees Stamets. Stamets immediately wants to return to the Verubin nebula to save Hugh and Saru from certain death by radiation poisoning. He gets even more insistent, when Michael blurts out that Adira has beamed down to the surface of the dilithium planet as well. It’s easy to sympathise with Stamets, after all, his husband and his kid are in danger here.

However, Michael tells Stamets that they can’t return to the Nebula, while the ship is still in the hands of the Emerald Chain. And when Stamets objects, she nerve-pinches him out of commission. Then she sticks Stamets into a force-field capsule and blasts him out into space to get him off the ship, so Osyra can’t use him, over Stamets’ vehement objections. “We came to the future for you”, Stamets cries, “So you wouldn’t have to be alone.”

Much as I sympathise with Stamets’ plight here, Michael is right. Jumping to the nebula with the ship still in the hands of the Regulators is a seriously bad idea and Stamets is the one person without whom the Discovery can’t go anywhere. Though Stamets’ lament also highlights that the decision of much of the Discovery crew to jump into the future with Michael doesn’t make a whole lot of sense beyond the fact that the characters are needed for the plot. Though Stamets’ decision makes more sense than e.g. the decision of Dettmer or Owosegun or Nielsen (who is a brunette now), because Stamets was trying to get over Hugh at the time.

All in all, this was a cracking good episode of Star Trek Discovery, probably the best in a very good season so far. By Star Trek standards, this was a very action packed episode, which is made even more remarkable by the fact that the director was Jonathan Frakes, best known to Star Trek fans as Commander William Riker. Frakes has already directed several episodes of Discovery, Star Trek Picard and even The Orville (whatever happened to that show anyway?), but he’s usually called in to direct very typical Star Trek episodes, probably because no one knows better how to helm those than Commander Riker himself. “There Is a Tide…” is not a typical Star Trek episode, however (and it has a very high bodycount by Star Trek standards), even if the negotiation sequences are very Star Trek.

Discovery had a rough start, but it has really found its feet by now, mixing very typical Star Trek tropes with space opera tropes that Star Trek has rarely explored. The result is a lot of fun and also feels fresher than many of the other post-Next Generation Star Trek shows. Let’s see if the show will be able to maintain that standard in the season finale next week.

*A commenter somewhere pointed out that analogous to what happened in the US South after slavery was banned, Osyra may well be about to invent prison labour and convict leasing. Whereupon I thought, “She doesn’t have to invent that, since the Federation already did.”

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Happy New Year 2021

First of all, a happy new year to everybody who reads my blog! May 2021 be better than 2020 and bring you health, happiness and success!

If you want to know what I’ve been up to in 2020, here is a handy overview of all the blogposts, articles, reviews and fiction I published in 2020. And if you’re waiting for my take on this week’s episode of Star Trek Discovery – well, that’s probably not coming until tomorrow.

Some New Year’s Eve decorations. The candle holder is handmade and was a present from a friend more than 20 years ago. The figurines are all good luck charms of sorts.

Here in Germany, the new year is a little over a day old now and started with a foggy night and a cold, but largely clear day. I had dinner with my parents at home, because the restaurants were all closed anyway. Furthermore, because there were only three business days between Christmas and New Year and German farmers decided to stage a blockade grocery chain warehouses to protest against low prices for agricultural products (which I theoretically agree with, but this is not the right time), so the grocery store shelves were often empty, which made some ingredients difficult to come by. And so we had a selection of deep-fried vegetables with Manchurian sauce.

A selection of breaded vegetables for deep frying. Clockwise from top left, we have cauliflower, mushrooms, Brussels sprouts and peppers.

Gobi Manchurian, i.e. deep-fried cauliflower with Manchurian sauce.

After dinner, my parents watched TV, while I did some work on my laptop. At midnight, we drank some champagne and then went outside to watch the fireworks. And yes, there were fireworks.

Champagne and good luck charms to ring in the new year.

As I mentioned in last year’s New Year post, welcoming the new year with fireworks has a long tradition in Germany. However, that tradition has come under fire in recent years, because some people really, really hate fireworks and come up with various reasons (dangerous, a waste of money, bad for animals and environment, might trigger people with PTSD) why they should be banned. And this year, the pandemic finally gave the fireworks haters a reason to ban the sale of fireworks, because supposedly people gathering in the streets to light fireworks might spread the virus and people managing to hurt themselves with fireworks would put extra strain on hospitals. Of course, the pandemic is just a pre-text in this case.

Of course, people gathering in the streets in larger groups only happens in those city centre areas where fireworks are banned anyway because of the fire risk. Meanwhile, in suburban and rural area, what happens is that families stand in their own driveways and light fireworks and wish the neighbours a happy new year. The infection risk involved is no worse than when taking the trash out, as long as you don’t hug your neighbours.

As for the accident risk, the overwhelming majority of fireworks accidents happen with unlicensed fireworks imported from Eastern Europe or with homemade fireworks. And if you ban legal fireworks sales, guess what happens? The people who really, really love fireworks will find a way to procure illegal fireworks or try to make their own, which is a lot more dangerous. And so, a 19-year-old in Eckernförde on the Baltic Sea coast managed to blow up himself and his parents’ winter garden, while trying to make fireworks.

But even though sales of fireworks were banned, a lot of my neighbours did manage to get hold of fireworks. There was less firework than last year, but not that much less. The one difference was that there were comparatively few fireworks to be heard early on New Year’s Eve and on the days before – instead the fireworks were concentrated on the hour around midnight. And this is a development I actually welcome, because while I like fireworks, I also think they should be limited to a few hours on New Year’s Eve.

Mostly, the people who didn’t light fireworks this year were the casual fireworkers like me who buy a package of rockets at the supermarket, but don’t stockpile (though I did have some sparklers and half a package of firecrackers from previous years) and don’t look for alternate sources. Meanwhile, the folks who light hundreds of Euros worth of fireworks every year continued to do so this year. And I’m pretty sure that what was blown up last night was not just stockpiles, because I cannot imagine someone stockpiling dozens of rockets and fireworks batteries. No, there likely were ways to get fireworks in spite of the ban. Though thankfully, almost all the fireworks blown up last night were licensed ones. Cause you can usually distinguish the unlicensed illegal fireworks, because they’re louder, smell worse and the leftovers look different. And I noticed very little of that.

Last night’s fireworks display also showed that many people are no longer willing to accept nonsensical anti-covid measures (I hope they will continue to accept those measures that do make sense). Because the ban on sales of fireworks was largely nonsensical. It did little to nothing to combat the pandemic, especially since the vast majority of infections and deaths still happen in nursing homes whose residents are among the least likely to light fireworks. Instead, the pandemic was used as a pretext to push through an agenda that some people have had for a very long time.

But anyway, here are some fireworks photos. They might be a bit blurry, because the night was foggy and I couldn’t use the flash.

Fireworks in my neighbourhood

Some neighbours have lit a firework battery on the street.

Fireworks and fog make for some interesting views.

More foggy fireworks, this time in green.

No, the garage hasn’t exploded. A neighbour has lit one of those massive 100 shot fireworks batteries.

More fireworks and fog.

And one last fireworks photo.

On New Year’s Day itself, some of the mist lingered, but otherwise it was a clear but cold day. So I drove down to the river Weser this afternoon.

The low winter sun shines down on misty meadows near Arsten.

A look across the river Weser near Dreyhe.

Another look across the river Weser near Dreyhe. On the far bank, you can see a kilometre marker. This is kilometre 356 since Hannoversch Münden of 451.4 kilometres altogether to the North Sea.

And that’s it for 2021 so far.

What can you expect on this blog for this year? More fiction, more genre commentary, more TV reviews, more Retro Reviews, more new release round-ups, a new project to highlight fanzines and sites eligible for the Hugo and much more.

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A handy guide to all SFF-related posts and works of 2020

I never felt particularly comfortable with eligibility posts, but I posted such an overview for the first time in 2016, when someone added my name to the Hugo Nominations Wiki. Eventually, it paid off, because I was a Hugo finalist for Best Fan Writer in 2020.

So if you’re interested in what I write, here is an overview of all SFF related blogposts of 2020, in chronological order, as well as a list of all the SFF and other fiction I published.

Because I wrote so many pieces for my Retro Reviews project this year, I separated the Retro Reviews from the other blogposts

At this blog:

Lone Mandalorian and Yoda Cub: Some Thoughts on The Mandalorian
Introducing the 1945 Retro Hugo Spreadsheet and Retro Science Fiction Reviews
Cora is a 2020 GUFF Candidate.
Toss a Coin to Your Witcher: Some Thoughts on The Witcher
A “Rememberance” of The Next Generation: Some Thoughts on Star Trek: Picard
Star Trek Picard explores “Maps and Legends” in search of the plot
Cora time travels to 1965 and visits a space prison
Star Trek Picard realises that “The End is the Beginning” and gets on a spaceship
Star Trek Picard goes forth with “Absolute Candor”
Some Comments on the 2019 Nebula Award Finalists
Star Trek Picard does the “Stardust City Rag”
Star Trek Picard tackles “The Impossible Box”
Star Trek Picard visits “Nepenthe” and catches up with some old friends
The Cold Crowdfunding Campaign
Star Trek Picard puts together some “Broken Pieces”
Star Trek Picard heads for the endgame in Part 1 of “Et in Arcadia Ego”
Star Trek Picard offers up space battles, stirring speeches, murder synths and meditations on life and death in part 2 of “Et in Arcadia Ego”
Cora is a Hugo Finalist!
Some Thoughts on the Hugo Award Finalists, Part I: The 1945 Retro Hugo Awards
Some Thoughts on the Hugo Award Finalists, Part II: The 2020 Hugo Awards
Schrödinger’s Hugo Finalist – and Some Birthday Stuff
Genre Vacation: Visit the Pulp Science Fiction Shared Solar System
In Memoriam Peter Thomas
Justice League or Sometimes There’s No Way to Salvage an Unholy Mess
Some Comments on the 2019 Nebula Award Winners
Rogue One Revisited
The Return of Richard Blakemore and a Long Overdue Multiple New Release Announcement
The 2020 July Short Story Challenge – Day by Day
Some Thoughts on the 1945 Retro Hugo Winners
Some Reflections on the 2020 Hugo Ceremony a.k.a. Reminiscing with George
More Reactions to the 2020 Hugo Ceremony and a bit about the Retro Hugos
Some Comments on the 2020 Hugo Award Winners
The 2020 Dragon Award Finalists Go Full Tilt Towards Mainstream Respectability
Reactions to the 2020 Dragon Awards Finalists or the Sound of Puppies Crying
Cora’s Adventures at CoNZealand, the Virtual 2020 Worldcon, and Some Thoughts on Virtual Conventions in General
Why the Retro Hugos Have Value
Cora’s Adventures at the Virtual 2020 NASFiC and More Thoughts on Virtual Conventions
The 2020 July Short Story Challenge Postmortem – 31 Stories in 31 Days
Some Comments on the 2020 Dragon Award Winners
Notes on the Virtual Bloody Scotland Festival and the Differences Between SFF and Crime Fiction Cons
Three New Stories of The Day the Saucers Came…
Star Trek Discovery Goes Back to the Future in “That Hope Is You, Part 1”
Star Trek Discovery arrives “Far From Home”
A Trio of Spooky New Releases and Why I Cannot Write Straight Horror
Star Trek Discovery pays a visit to the “People of the Earth”
The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda are back and meet “The Marshal”
Star Trek Discovery Deals with Trauma and Recovery in “Forget Me Not”
The Mandalorian Deals with Monsters and the Troubles of Parenthood in “The Passenger”
The Elusive Allison V. Harding and How to Suppress Women’s Writing… Again
Star Trek Discovery is determined to fulfill its mission or “Die Trying”
The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda get their bacons saved by “The Heiress”
Two Articles in One Day
Star Trek Discovery goes on an unsanctioned mission in “Scavengers”
The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda meet up with old friends and enemies in “The Siege”
Two New “In Love and War” Stories Available: “Neutral Ground” and “Ballroom Blitz”
Star Trek Discovery visits the planet formerly known as Vulcan in “Unification III”

Star Trek Discovery visits “The Sanctuary”
The Mandalorian and Baby Grogu walk right into “The Tragedy”
Star Trek Discovery lands on “Terra Firma, Part I”
The Mandalorian pay the Wages of Fear in “The Believer”
Star Trek Discovery a.k.a. the Adventures of Empress Philippa the No Longer Quite So Merciless on “Terra Firma, Part II”
The Mandalorian Comes to “The Rescue” of Baby Grogu
Star Trek Discovery mounts a rescue mission and meets “Su’Kal”
The 2020 Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents
By Popular Demand: The 2020 Jonathan and Martha Kent Fictional Parent of the Year Award
as well as twelve regular editions and four holiday editions of Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month and Indie Crime Fiction of the Month

The Complete Retro Reviews:

Retro Review: “Terror Out of Space” by Leigh Brackett
Retro Review: “The Wedge” a.k.a. “The Traders” by Isaac Asimov
Retro Review: “The Big and the Little” a.k.a. “The Merchant Princes” by Isaac Asimov.
Retro Review: “Guard in the Dark” by Allison V. Harding.
Retro Review: “The Man Who Wouldn’t Hang” by Stanton A. Coblentz
Retro Review: “The Lake” by Ray Bradbury
Retro Review: “The Jewel of Bas” by Leigh Brackett
Retro Review: “Catch That Rabbit” by Isaac Asimov
Retro Review: “Morgue Ship” by Ray Bradbury
Retro Review: “The Monster Maker” by Ray Bradbury
Retro Review: “When the Bough Breaks” by Lewis Padgett a.k.a. Henry Kuttner and C.L. Moore
Retro Review: “Desertion” by Clifford D. Simak
Retro Review: “Undersea Guardians” by Ray Bradbury
Retro Review: “The Gothic Window” by Dorothy Quick
Retro Review: “Double-Cross” by James McCreigh a.k.a. Frederik Pohl
Retro Review: “The Veil of Astellar” by Leigh Brackett
Retro Review: “The Dear Departed” by Alice-Mary Schnirring
Retro Review: “Highwayman of the Void” by Dirk Wylie a.k.a. Frederik Pohl
Retro Review: “Ride the El to Doom” by Allison V. Harding
Retro Review: “Hoofs” by Manly Wade Wellman
Retro Review: “No Woman Born” by C.L. Moore
Retro Review: “Iron Mask” by Robert Bloch
Retro Review: “I, Rocket” by Ray Bradbury
Retro Review: “Shadow Over Mars” a.k.a. “The Nemesis from Terra” by Leigh Brackett
Retro Review: “The Free-Lance of Space” by Edmond Hamilton
Retro Review: “The Huddling Place” by Clifford D. Simak
Retro Review: “Exile” by Edmond Hamilton
Retro Review: “The Citadel of Lost Ships” by Leigh Brackett
Retro Review: “And the Gods Laughed” by Fredric Brown
Retro Review: “Far Centaurus” by A.E. van Vogt
Retro Review: “City” by Clifford D. Simak
Retro Review: “Arena” by Fredric Brown
Retro Review: “The Children’s Hour” by Lawrence O’Donnell a.k.a. Henry Kuttner and C.L. Moore

Retro Review: “The Winged Man” by E. Mayne Hull and A.E. van Vogt
Retro Review: “Intruders from the Stars” by Ross Rocklynne
Retro Review: “Unsung Hero” by Ruth Washburn
Retro Review: “Gambler’s Asteroid” by Manly Wade Wellman
Retro Review: “The Martian and the Milkmaid” by Frances M. Deegan
Retro Review: “The Golden Apples of the Sun” by Ray Bradbury
Retro Review: “Black God’s Kiss” by C.L. Moore or How to Suppress Women’s Sword and Sorcery Writing
Retro Review: “Black God’s Shadow” by C.L. Moore or Overcoming Trauma as a Core Theme of Sword and Sorcery
Retro Review: “The Werewolf’s Howl” by Brooke Byrne
Retro Review: “Blue and Silver Brocade” by Dorothy Quick
Retro Review: “Transparent Stuff” by Dorothy Quick
Retro Review: “Garden of Evil” by Margaret St. Clair

At Galactic Journey:

“The Escape Orbit by James White” in Space Prison of Opera (February Galactoscope #1)
Furnishing the Home of the Future: Interior Design for the Space Age
The Op and the Pop: New Movements in Modern Art
“The Rithian Terror and Off Center by Damon Knight (Ace Double M-113)” in Ace Quadruple (June Galactoscope #1)
A Killer Thriller Double Feature: Again the Ringer and The Face of Fu Manchu
Of Art and Freedom: The Rolling Stones Riots and the Mephisto Case
Knights, Adventurers and Anthropomorphic Animals: Comics in East and West Germany
Oater, West German Style (The Movie Winnetou Part 3)
Humour, Heroes and History: The Comics of France, Belgium and the Netherlands

Elsewhere:

“The #DisneyMustPay Alan Dean Foster and SFWA Joint Press Conference” at File 770
I also co-run the Speculative Fiction Showcase , a group blog focussed on indie SFF, and the Indie Crime Scene , a blog focussed on indie mysteries, crime fiction and thrillers.

Fiction (SFF):

The Heavy Hand of the Editor (novelette)
The Thing from the Dread Swamp (short story)*
The Tentacled Terror (short story)*
The Beast from the Sea of Blood (short story)*
King’s Justice (novelette)*
Azalea Avenue (novelette)
Appletree Court (short story)
Willowbrook Farm (short story)
“Patient X-5” in Simultaneous Times podcast, Episode #32 (short story)
The Ghosts of Doodenbos (short story)
Puncture Wounds (short fiction collection)
Demon Summoning for Beginners (short fiction collection)
Neutral Gound (novelette)
Ballroom Blitz (novella)
Revolt at the North Pole (short story)

Fiction (other genres):

A Grave Case (mystery novelette)
Driving Home for Christmas (romance novelette)
The Crappiest Christmas Ever (romance novelette)

*published under the name Richard Blakemore

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By Popular Demand: The 2020 Jonathan and Martha Kent Fictional Parent of the Year Award

As you know, I have been giving out the prestigious (not) Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents for a long time now.

However, I have received a request to also hand out a Fictional Parent of the Year Award, for why should only horrible fictional parents get recognition?

So I present you the inaugural Jonathan and Martha Kent Fictional Parent of the Year Award:

As I said in my previous post, there was quite a bit of competition for the Fictional Parent of the Year Award in 2020, more than for the Darth Vader Parenthood Award in fact, which suggests that popular culture is moving towards portraying more loving parents, which is a very good thing.

So let’s take a look at the potential candidates:

Admiral Jean-Luc Picard, formerly of Starfleet, became an unexpected contender, when he found himself responsible for the young synth Soji Asher and the young Romulan Elnor and didn’t do too badly, considering that Admiral Picard famously doesn’t like children. However, Soji and Elnor, though traumatised and confused, are already in their late teens and therefore require less parenting. Besides, Admiral Picard had the competent help of Seven of Nine and Raffi Musiker, so no award for him.

Another unexpected contender was Sherlock Holmes of all people, when he found himself the guardian of his much younger sister Enola Holmes, while his brother Mycroft and his mother Eudoria both made an unsuccessful push for the Darth Vader Parenthood Award. However, Enola proves herself to be a very intelligent and resourceful young lady, who doesn’t require much parenting, so it’s no award for Sherlock.

A very strong contender was the Witcher Geralt of Rivia, who unexpectedly found himself guardian and protector of the young Princess Ciri due to the law of surprise. And though Geralt does his best to successfully evade the responsibility he was unexpectedly given, he does come to the aid of Ciri, when she needs him. This certainly earns Geralt of Rivia an honourable mention, but since we don’t actually see him doing any parenting, this year’s winner is another grumpy single Dad.

So the The 2020 Jonathan and Martha Kent Fictional Parent of the Year Award goes to…

Drumroll

Din Djarin

As chronicled in The Mandalorian, Din Djarin is a bounty hunter who one day finds himself hired by a shady ex-Imperial client to hunt down a bounty that turns out to be a fifty-year-old alien toddler with Force abilities named Grogu.

Handing a young child over to a cruel fate at the hand of the former Empire violates Din Djarin’s personal code and so he goes on the run with Baby Grogu, while trying to deliver the kid one of the elusive Jedi knights who should know what to do with a Force-sensitive toddler.

In the course of his adventures, Din Djarin has to deal not only with ex-Imperials, pirates and bounty hunters trying to kidnap his young charge and monsters trying to eat him, but also with the everyday challenges of single parenthood such as changing nappies, feeding a hunry kid and cleaning up baby puke as well as the insatiable desire of little Grogu to stick everything in his mouth, including a lot of very inappropriate things. And through it all, Din Djarin bonds with Grogu to the point that they truly become a Clan of Two and that it doesn’t matter that they’re not even the same species.

That sort of dedication to parenting deserves an award and therefore Din Djarin of Mandalore is the highly deserving winner of the 2020 Jonathan and Martha Kent Fictional Parent of the Year Award.

Applause

In spite of accidentally finding himself king of the Mandalorians (it’s a long story), Din Djarin nonetheless took the time to appear in person to accept his award, clad in his shiny beskar armour. And no, he did not take the helmet off.

He then proceeded to give his acceptance speech, looking a little lost:

Honestly, I don’t know what to say. After all, I did nothing special. I only took in a foundling and delivered him to his kind, because this is a way.

Besides, Grogu was in danger and needed help, because Moff Gideon and his Imperial leftovers wanted to capture him and drain his blood for their unsanctioned experiments. And since the New Republic isn’t very competent at… well, anything really, someone needed to step up and keep the kid safe. Cause this is the way.

I know that Grogu is better off at that Jedi school, because the Jedi can teach him how to do all the inexplicable things they do, while I cannot. However, I still miss the little fellow.

I also hope Grogu behaves himself in Jedi school and doesn’t steal any shiny objects and doesn’t eat anything he shouldn’t.

Jedi knights, if you’re watching this, Grogu only wears Bantha-Soft diapers, he likes bone broth and seafood chowder, sticks things in his mouth, if you don’t watch, and only falls asleep, if you sing “Ten little Ewoks” to him.

So take good care of Grogu. Because you hurt Grogu, know that I’ll be coming for you, because this is the way.

Thank you.

And we thank you, Din Djarin, for providing such a stellar example for all single parents as well as every parent who finds themselves faced with a child with very special needs.

So accept this award for all your hard work to keep Baby Grogu safe.

***

And that’s it for this year’s Jonathan and Martha Kent Fictional Parent of the Year Award. Who will win next year? You’ll find out in this space.

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Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month for December 2020

It’s that time of the month again, time for “Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month”.

So what is “Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month”? It’s a round-up of speculative fiction by indie and small press authors (as well as the occasional Big 5 book) newly published this month, though some November books I missed the last time around snuck in as well. The books are arranged in alphabetical order by author. So far, most links only go to Amazon.com, though I may add other retailers for future editions.

Once again, we have new releases covering the whole broad spectrum of speculative fiction. This month, we have epic fantasy, urban fantasy, portal fantasy, historical fantasy, sword and sorcery, fantasy romance, paranormal romance, paranormal mysteries, science fiction mysteries, science fiction thrillers, space opera, military science fiction, humorous science fiction, post-apocalyptic fiction, time travel, weird western, horror, LitRPG, speculative poetry, non-fiction, vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, aliens, dragons, elves, banshees, sirens, assassins, alien invasions, interstellar wars, space marines, metal warriors, crime-busting witches, crime-busting ghosts, magical bakeries, magical swords, bad Santas, three-headed ogres and much more.

Don’t forget that Indie Speculative Fiction of the Month is also crossposted to the Speculative Fiction Showcase, a group blog run by Jessica Rydill and myself, which features new release spotlights, guest posts, interviews and link round-ups regarding all things speculative fiction several times per week.

As always, I know the authors at least vaguely, but I haven’t read all of the books, so Caveat emptor.

And now on to the books without further ado:

The Road to Woop Woop and Other Stories by Eugen Bacon:

Eugen Bacon’s work is deemed cheeky with a fierce intelligence in text that’s resplendent, delicious, dark and evocative. NPR called her novel Claiming T-Mo ‘a confounding mysterious tour de force.’ The Road to Woop Woop and Other Stories imbues the same lushness in a writerly language that is Bacon’s own. This peculiar hybrid of the untraditional, the extraordinary within, without and along the borders of normalcy will hypnotize and absorb the reader with tales that refuse to be labeled. The stories in this collection are dirges that cross genres in astounding ways. Over 20 provocative tales, with seven original to this collection, by an award-winning African-Australian author.

The Lost One by Jonathan P. Brazee:

A slave. A collector’s piece. Kimi has no idea who she is, only that she’s the only one of her kind she’s ever seen.

If she disobeys her captor, the punishment is immediate and excruciating. So, she learns to simply survive.

Until another of her kind appears on a mission. Can Kimi reclaim her birthright, or will she be stuck forever as a prisoner on display?

The Depik tell tales of their past to their kita to keep their story alive. Kimi’s is just one of these stories.

Revolt at the North Pole by Cora Buhlert:

Rebellion is brewing at Santa’s compound at the North Pole. The elves and the reindeer both are overworked, underpaid and angry, so they unite to take down Santa. However, there’s still Santa’s most fearsome enforcer, the horned, clawed and fanged holiday monster known only as Krampus…

This is a short holiday horror story of 3900 words or approx. 14 print pages by Hugo finalist Cora Buhlert.

 

Secrets of the Sword II by Lindsay Buroker:

For ten years, I’ve been using a magical sword that I won in battle to ruthlessly slay enemies, break evil artifacts, and open stubborn pickle jars, but I don’t know much about it.

That’s about to change.

Thanks to the fact that I’m dating a powerful dragon, I can get a ride to the dwarven home world, and we’re going to research the sword’s roots. Not that I care much about its history, mind you, but several allies and enemies have suggested it can do a lot more than whack things. Considering the magical bad guys I fight are always stronger, faster, and more powerful than I am, I need every advantage I can get.

There’s just one problem: a half-dwarf thief has shown up and says she’s the rightful heir to the sword.

I want to believe it’s a scam and can’t possibly be true, but I didn’t get the sword in the most legitimate manner. If I have to give it up, I might not be able to do my job anymore, and just as bad, I’ll be a target for all the bad guys who have been waiting for an opportunity to take me down.

Baking Magic by Melinda Craig:

Starry Valley has been anything but calm since Lindsey moved in. She’s tackled thieves walking through walls, and just last month, she faced down a killer. Not to mention, she had a short romance with one of the handsome police officers and an unusual friendship is blossoming with a maybe detective…she’s still trying to figure that one out. It’s all Lindsey can do to stay sane, yet these people, this town, is more home to her than any place she’s ever been.

She’s still getting used to being open with people about her ability. After all, reading memories is no cakewalk, and it’s definitely not conversation for dinner. But Starry Valley isn’t like other places. She can be real with a select few others, and that is heaven…to finally not hide.

So when Felmira asks for Lindsey’s help in finding a friend’s husband, it’s no surprise she says yes. Helping is a given; delivering is another thing. Lindsey promised Sarah she’d find her husband before Christmas…she only hopes he’s still alive.

A Merry Maggie Messmas by Kate Danley:

Everyone wonders how Santa is able to do his job, but when one of his helpers goes rogue and starts spreading TOO MUCH holiday cheer, it will be down to Maggie and Killian to hop on that sleigh and bring the world a silent night.

A part of the Maggie MacKay: Holiday Special short story series. This stands independently from the main Magical Tracker series and can be read at any time and in any order. It’s just an excuse to hang out with some of your favorite characters.

WARNING: This short story contains cussing, brawling, and unfestive behavior.

Og-Grim-Dog: Ogre’s End Game by Jamie Edmundson:

‘We have saved this world and travelled to worlds beyond it! We have deployed weapons of death beyond your imagination!’

Join everyone’s favourite three-headed ogre in their world-hopping, climactic, final adventure.

After The War of The Dead, things could not have ended more bleakly for Og-Grim-Dog and the broken land of Gal’azu.

But they’ll still save their friends, save the world, complete a satisfying character arc and tie up all the loose ends from the rest of the series…

Won’t they?

Of a Strange World Made by Anthony W. Eichenlaub:

Scientist Ash Morgan doesn’t mind breaking rules, but this is ridiculous.

The colony of Edge is a bastion on the frontier of space and science, governed only by laws designed to bring humanity to the stars. Successful laws. Outdated laws, if Ash has anything to say about it.

But when a child is born strange, Ash must decide which of the colony’s rules must be followed, which ones can be broken, and which ones will inevitably lead to Edge’s ultimate destruction.

Solar Flares and Tax Snares by Rachel Ford:

An old friend. A new world. A terrible calamity.

When the Interdimensional Bureau of Temporal Investigations discovers a planetary event that will have cataclysmic interdimensional effects, they know there’s only one man for the job: Alfred Favero, Senior Analyst for the Internal Revenue Services.

Alfred is neck deep in a thorny tax case. But he’ll have to set the case aside, and maybe miss out on his chance for a big promotion, in order to save an old friend in a terrible future on a faraway planet.

And maybe the entire multiverse too.

DLC by Rachel Ford:

A fully immersive virtual reality system. A beta testing opportunity that’s the stuff of dreams – or a nightmare that may never end.

Jack Owens is stuck in Marshfield Studio’s newest virtual reality RPG. To escape, he needs to win the game. He knows that. He’s got his team of heroes back, and he’s finally comfortable with the world. He’s ready.

Except someone at Marshfield Studios forgot to cancel the holiday downloadable content test. Jack goes to sleep in a medieval fantasy world, and wakes up in some kind of bizarre winter wonderland where his quest – and his way home – plays second fiddle to holiday festivals, winter pets, and seasonal quests.

But Jack better not let his extended stay or the holiday doldrums distract him too much. Because there’s far worse waiting for him in this magical nightmare than a lump of coal in his stocking…

Dryker’s Fall by Chris Fox:

Humanity’s End is Upon Us

The Tigris have declared a Sacred Hunt against Earth. During the last battle Dryker’s daring plan turned back their vanguard, but now the entire fleet has arrived.

Thousands of Tigris vessels converge upon our world, with only a few dozen battleships, and our remaining orbital defense platforms to shield us.

Captain Dryker is placed under the command of the sadistic Doctor Reid, and sent to reactivate an ancient Void Wraith factory. Within this factory slumbers an army of Void Wraith, and a fleet of harvesters. But if he succeeds those forces will not work for Earth.

They will begin the Eradication, and wipe out everything.

Christmas Hunger by Piper Fox:

After three days of hosting his vampiric brothers and their mates, Magnus is at his wit’s end. A sworn viking bachelor, he needs a break from the happy couples.

The moment the doorbell rings, he takes the chance to get away from it all. Only to come face to face with a beautiful delivery woman who stirs his blood in a way that only a fated mate could.

Donna knows her vision is true the second she meets Magnus’ gaze. Knowing he could send her away before they really get to know each other, she’s careful to hide her true intentions. She wants Magnus to get to know the real her, not just her witchly title.

Magnus has no interest in being tied down to any woman, fated mate be damned. But her sexy confidence and alluring smiles might just have Magnus’ resolve faltering. The moment he has her in his arms, the pull is too strong. He knows giving into his need, even just for the evening, could lead to more than the vampire is willing to give.

Once her true identity is revealed, Magnus must decide whether the sassy, sexy Donna is worth sacrificing his independent bachelor lifestyle for the love of a witch.

Starlight Web by Yasmine Galenorn:

Moonshadow Bay…where magic lurks in the moonlight, and danger hides in the shadows.

One month before January Jaxson turns 41, her husband ditches her for a trophy wife. Adding insult to injury, he steals the business she helped build, and kicks her out during the holidays. So when her best friend Ari suggests she move back to Moonshadow Bay—a quirky, magical town near Bellingham WA—January decides to take the plunge.

Born into a family of witches, January accepts a job at Conjure Ink, a paranormal investigations website. The job’s right up her alley but she doubts that everything reported to Conjure Ink really exists. That is, until she’s sent out on her first case.

An abandoned asylum once housed a murderer, who killed an entire family one Yuletide Eve. It’s rumored that every December he returns to haunt the woodland around the asylum, seeking to add new members to his supernatural family. January’s sure it’s an urban legend, but when new victims show up with no logical explanation for their deaths, Conjure Ink sends her in to investigate. Suddenly January finds herself in over her head, staring directly into the shadowed world of the Veil.

Now, January must not only navigate the new life she’s trying to build, but the paranormal beasties she’s sent out to explore, as well as a hot new neighbor, who seems to be hiding a shadowed past of his own.

Betelgeuse Dimming by Jean-Paul Garnier:

Science Fiction Poetry / comes with free musical audiobook download.

Poetry by Jean-Paul L. Garnier

Music improvised by RedBlueBlackSilver & Field Collapse

Recorded live at Joshua Tree Art & Music

Mixed and co-produced by RedBlueBlackSilver

 

 

Witch Is the New Black by Lily Harper Hart:

Ofelia Archer has faced demons, evil witches, and freaky zombies, but nothing could prepare her for the horror of meeting her boyfriend’s mother, Madeline Sully. She thinks she’s ready and able, but she’s really not.

For his part, Zacharias “Zach” Sully isn’t any more thrilled by his mother’s visit than his girlfriend. He’s simply better at dealing with Madeline’s brand of madness.

After one meal, a magical barrage of fire rains down on the group as they’re walking down Bourbon Street. When the flames clear, a young woman is left for dead, and the only thing they know about her is that she was part of a multi-level marketing scheme called Hexential Oils.

Before they realize what’s happening, Sully and Ofelia find themselves knee-deep in an odd world that neither of them really understand … and it leads straight to trouble, as usual. It seems New Orleans is teeming with suspects, and they have no idea which one to focus on.

Ofelia and Sully have a bond that can’t be broken. That won’t stop outsiders from trying. When the hierarchy of Hexential Oils leads to long-forgotten magic and a creature of mythical proportions, they realize they’re in over their heads.

They’ll die to protect one another … and someone desperately wants to make that a reality. It will take both of them working together to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Ghostly Graves by Lily Harper Hart:

Maddie and Nick Winters are embarking on the biggest adventure of their lives: parenthood. They’re nervous, excited, and prepared to go shopping. That leads them to a special baby boutique in Whisper Cove, where they just happen to participate in a cemetery tour run by Michigan’s most famous ghost hunter.

Maddie and the tour guide Harper Harlow recognize each other for what they are right off the bat, although they don’t initially say anything. Everything spills out in the open, though, when a ghost leads Maddie to the body of a local plastic surgeon.

The dead doctor has an interesting reputation with the women around town, and Maddie recognizes him from her days of nursing. Before anybody realizes what’s happening, the two women have formed a crime-fighting team and they’re determined to uncover answers.

Nick would prefer Maddie shop and embrace their incoming baby but he knows when her inner detective can’t be silenced. While the men bond – and discuss loving a magical woman – the women (and Zander, of course) dig deep and uncover exactly how sordid the tale of an unethical doctor can be.

Get ready for some fun. Maddie, Harper, and Zander are ready for adventure … and they’re dragging absolutely everybody along for the ride.

Church of the Assassin by Ross Harrison:

KILL ONE TO SAVE A HUNDRED

Alexiares spends her time killing, tinkering with a car she never drives, and wondering if she’s a sociopath. This simple life is complicated by a deadly purge of her sect and she finds herself on the run, trying to make sense of the slaughter. She’s not alone: the broken-minded assassin has inherited a baby girl. But how can hands that know only how to squeeze necks and strip engines ever nurture a child? When painful revelations, betrayals, and secrets show Alexiares that her life can only cause Baby pain and suffering, she’ll have to make a difficult choice.

Across the galaxy, one seemingly natural death puts rookie Intelligence officer Ryan Blake on a collision course with Alexiares. His journey into desperation and madness will reveal a world he’ll wish had stayed hidden. One full of mysteries and death. As his mentor says, there are cases to make your career and there are cases to make you look over your shoulder for the rest of your life, right up until it ends abruptly and violently.

KILL A HUNDRED TO SAVE ONE

Relentless hunters want both her and Baby, and they will tear worlds apart to get them. They are bigger, stronger, and more resourceful. But Baby is more than a newfound vulnerability to Alexiares: she is a reason to live. A reason to kill.

When you take a shot at an apex predator, do not miss.

The Awesome Adventures of Poppy and Amelia by Maddie Harrisis and Misha Herwin:

Poppy and Amelia didn’t set out to be witches. That happened quite by accident, and it’s a secret they must keep from their family and friends. Then there is Mia, the new girl in class. Pale, strange and deadly serious, she’s in need of a couple of equally weird friends. Poppy and Amelia are happy to oblige. Together, the three of them must thwart the plans of the sinister Miss Mortimer and her evil companions.

 

The Hawthorne Witch by A.L. Hawke:

Sometimes I’d rather shield my eyes than see darkness in light.

It was my senior year at Hawthorne University when everything fell apart. I mean, all my witch friends got along fine—sort of. But I was nervous about my love life. I just had to get into Hawthorne’s graduate program, because my boyfriend was going to be a professor. I didn’t want to lose him. I didn’t want to lose anyone.

And things got weirder. A witch was threatened with sacrificial murder. Another witch spent all day murmuring to herself, in the center of a circle of candles, on a pentagram she painted in her dorm room. It all pointed to the wicked witch of the Abaddon coven. If I was right, it might just take a full-fledged witch showdown to stop her.

So? Bring it on. What did I have to lose? Just everyone I love. And maybe my soul.

Foxtrot Hotel by Simon Haynes:

First a dead body shows up on Harriet’s favourite beach.

Then she discovers the whole place is going to be bulldozed for an apartment complex.

She’s convinced the two are connected, but she’ll have to untangle a web of lies and corruption to reach the truth.

Meanwhile, someone has decided that the best way to avoid discovery is to silence Harriet… for good!

 

Bright of the Moon by Miranda Honfleur:

Wrath consumes him as the dark does the night… Until she rises. But can she chase away his darkness?

Most would say the “sweet” and “quiet” Signorina Arabella Belmonte has lived a quiet life as a young noblewoman in her family’s castello. But little do they know she pens treatises criticizing the realm’s warmongers… and now there’s a price on her head. As she struggles to hide her seditious activities, a chance encounter with a unicorn leaves her with four hooves and a horn of her own—and a form she can’t control. The dark-elf queen has offered her a chance to acquire that control… if Bella can find the unicorn who turned her.

Prince Dhuro of Nightbloom has never met a problem he couldn’t solve with his fists—that is, until he fought his sister for a place in the army’s elite forces and lost. When the light-elves defeated them and his father was executed, Dhuro’s inner demons laid claim to the whole of him. Now Immortal beasts are growing in power and threatening his people.

Dhuro has a chance to help his people win, but his mother, the queen, sends him on a fool’s errand instead—helping a human newly turned unicorn find her sire, and asking the impossible: whether the Elder of the pacifistic unicorns will stand with them against the beasts ravaging his people. Making things worse, Bella challenges his every decision, argues with him, infuriates him… until beneath the full moon, she shifts to her human form… and enchants him.

A war is raging, Dhuro must marry for political advantage, and only Bella’s sire can help her… And when the bounty hunters hunting her find them, Dhuro and Bella’s worldviews collide like life and death. But can he be the answer to helping her control her form, and can she chase away his darkness? Can they find a way to be together and fight the war threatening to devour the land… or will it swallow them too?

Elevation by Patty Jansen:

Verona Rupes, on the ice moon Miranda, is the tallest cliff in the solar system. If you jump off the top, it takes 700 seconds to reach the bottom. What can you do in the most important 700 seconds of your life?

Jonathan and Gaby arrive at the ice moon Miranda to work with a local researcher and find that adventurists have snuck into an area infected with alien bacteria and have gotten themselves in trouble.

Do these people have to be stopped because they’re about to spread a bacterial infection to the human settlements or are there other factors at play?

A tale of petty vindictiveness, competition and jealousy. Oh, and a wedding.

Beachcombing by David Langford:

Beachcombing is David Langford’s first collection of (mostly) SF fanzine-published essays, speeches and silliness since the long-ago The Silence of the Langford (1996), edited by Ben Yalow, which was a Hugo finalist for best nonfiction in 1997. Over the years this author has won 29 Hugo Awards for his work in fanzines, science fiction newsletters, short SF, and SF reference works. Beachcombing comprises over 78,000 words of vintage Langford.

The contents include the much-acclaimed convention talks “Live Thog’s Masterclass”, “The Secret History of Ansible” and “Twenty Years of Uproar” (a ramble through favourite fanzine humour); offbeat pop-science articles for Fortean Times and elsewhere, on such subjects as perpetual motion, violet-ray healing machines, St Hildegard of Bingen, and how to detect the Number of the Beast in practically any name you choose; a handful of recipes and another handful of Drabbles; several introductions to SF books; and many instalments of unreliable autobiography.

The Banshee Brouhaha by Amanda M. Lee:

Charlie Rhodes has spent her entire life wondering who her birth parents were, why they abandoned her, and where the magic she’s been learning to hone came from.

She’s finally going to get some answers.

With proof that the new member of the Legacy Foundation is really her brother, Charlie sets off to visit Salem with him and her boyfriend Jack Hanson. She’s never been to the city before and finds that the history swirling is only one of the things that has her excited.

Not long after landing, a body is strung up in Salem Common, and witnesses say it was ghosts doing the dirty work. Jack is intrigued enough to call in the rest of the team. Since Charlie’s parents are supposedly taking refuge within the city limits, the investigation makes for a nice cover.

It’s not long before Charlie realizes that there’s more going on in Salem than witches and white magic. Something dark is festering under the surface, and whatever it is seems to be taking aim at her.

Charlie wants answers. She’s also afraid to get them. During the search for what she’s lost, though, she becomes more determined than ever to hold onto what she has.

There’s evil afoot, and a woman who looks like an older version of Charlie is stalking the group. Could the two things be connected? Charlie won’t leave until she knows for certain.

Salem’s history might be coming back to haunt those who venture into the city and it’s up to the Legacy Foundation to figure out why … that is if they survive long enough to uncover the answers.

Hold onto your broomsticks, because it’s going to be a witchy ride.

A Little Mistletoe and Magic by Marianne Morea:

Done with grieving the loss of her family, Jenny Mitchell is looking for a fresh start. Life as she knew it is over, but what waits for her in the town of Whisper Falls is more than just quaint charm and an Inn no one wanted. Her near death experience awakens senses she didn’t know she possessed. Senses that both scare and fascinate her, especially when they bring her face to face with a sexy, supernatural truth that spells more than just second chance romance. Sparks fly under the mistletoe, and there’s no escaping the magic of the season, or the cougar shifter destined to help her through the darkness and mend her broken heart, in this modern twist on a holiday classic.

Primary Targets by Rick Partlow:

Old Marines never die…they just become Space Marines

I thought the hard part of helping the Helta defeat the rampaging Tevynians would be the fighting. How wrong I was.

To the Helta, we Earthers look just like the Tevynians, their mortal enemies. And convincing their government to ally with humans may be even beyond the crew of the starship James Bowie.

But the clock is ticking, because the Tevynian fleet is bearing down on the Helta homeworld. If we can’t talk the Helta into accepting our help to fight them off, then Helta Prime will fall…

And Earth will be next.

Flight Before Christmas by Christine Pope:

They’ll have to fly faster than reindeer to rescue Santa…and save Christmas.

Other than the pleasure of etching delicate tendrils of ice on windows, there’s not much Kai Ulfsen enjoys about life under Jack Frost’s rule. But when he’s roped into serving on a strike team to kidnap Santa and destroy Christmas, Kai’s had enough. Frost must be stopped.

Human witches, the only other beings on Earth with magical powers, are his only hope. He never expected his search would lead him a woman with sky-blue eyes and hair like a river of gold.

Stella Monroe is five minutes away from closing up her tea shop for the holiday when a vision of Nordic male perfection fills the doorway. And, even more surreal, this beautiful man with silver hair, aquamarine eyes, and…pointed ears?…needs her help.

Granted, she flies the fastest broom at the Witch Olympics, but is her magic equal to a task like this? But maybe with a little luck — and a bag of pixie dust — Kai and Stella can beat the clock, beat Frost at his own game, and save the happiest holiday of the year.

Blood Ward by Glynn Stewart:

A chosen servant left for dead

A pair of hunters with hidden secrets

A fateful choice of who to trust…

The young cowboy Teer has joined the rogue El-Spehari demigod Kard in his work as a bounty hunter. Both have powers they conceal, but they are determined to guard the people of the Unity’s Eastern Territories.

When a favored servant of the Unity’s Spehari ruler is beaten and left for dead, the two bounty hunters are hired to track the attacker into the wilderness. The Unity has betrayed them both, but they still believe in justice.

Capturing the fugitive is only the first step. Teer faces a harsh question: when a beautiful young woman begs for protection, what is more important—her crimes…or why she committed them?

City of the Dead by Xina Marie Uhl:

A warrior trapped by the past.

A priest hunted by hidden enemies.

A city haunted by old gods’ magic.

Battle-scarred and cynical, Conyr survives as a guard in Eretria’s foulest prison for one reason. He watches his back. When he’s blackmailed into breaking Dru out of prison, staying safe becomes impossible.

A young priest from an enemy city, Dru has come to Eretria on a mission. But he has a big problem. He can’t remember what his mission is. And the ruling elite of both cities intend to discover it by any means necessary.

Together, Conyr and Dru must navigate a maze of power-hungry rivals, desert assassins, and magical attacks if they wish to live.

Deep beneath the city itself long-dead gods kindle to life—and they are angry. For the young priest’s lost memory holds more than the key to his past, but also the fates of two cities.

Metal Warrior: Steel Trap by James David Victor:

When human allies are enemies and invading aliens are friends, you can only count on one thing. There’s going to be a betrayal somewhere.

A military sci-fi adventure from Amazon All-Star author James David Victor

Dane and the Mechanized Infantry Division have taken their mech suits into space. Their plan? Attack the Exin before they can attack Earth again. And they have inside information from an Exin alien to make sure everything goes as planned. Can they stop the next invasion or are they walking into a trap?

Metal Warrior: Steel Trap is the third book in the Mech Fighter series. If you like fast-paced space adventures with engaging characters and exciting battles, you will definitely want to see how the Metal Warriors save mankind, or if they can.

Escaped by Magic by R.L. Wilson:

A sassy siren. A stolen blade. A paranormal conspiracy. An unexpected romance.

The way I saw it, I had two choices: retrieve my pack’s stolen blade or spend another night wishing I had. The plan was simple the execution was an epic failure.

Before I knew what hit me, I was behind bars in Bethune. Home to the most savage inmates, disgusting food, and hot guards in body-hugging uniforms. If I could keep my head straight, I could do my time and go home. But no one ever accused me of following Rules. Nothing could prepare me for what happened next.

I desperately need to escape. I have a plan, I know I can make it. Except there is one tiny problem-I’m head over heels in love with one of the guards. I can ask him to come with me but what if he refuses?

I need to make a decision and fast. But I’m not exactly in a place known for inspiring brilliant decisions.

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The 2020 Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents

It’s almost the end of the year, so it’s time to announce the winner of the coveted (not) 2020 Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents. This years also marks the 40th annual Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents.

Let’s have a bit of background: I have been informally awarding the Darth Vader Parenthood Award since sometime in the 1980s with the earliest awards being retroactive. Over the years, the list of winners migrated from a handwritten page to various computer file formats, updated every year. Last year, I finally decided to make the winners public on the Internet, because what’s an award without some publicity and a ceremony? The list of previous winners (in PDF format) up to 2017 may be found here, BTW, and the 2018 winner and the 2019 winner were announced here.

Warning: Spoilers for several things behind the cut!

But before we get to the main event, I’d first like to present the Retro Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents being outstandingly horrible in media that appeared before 1980. After all, we have Retro Hugos, so why not a Retro Darth Vader Parenthood Award?

And the winner of the 2020 Retro Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents is…

Drumroll

Mi-Bel, King of Kings and Ruler of Babylon

As chronicled in the time travel tale “Transparent Stuff” by Dorothy Quick, which appeared in the June 1940 issue of Unknown, King Mi-Bel is trying to marry off his only child, Princess Star of Light (we assume the name is a translation from the ancient Babylonian), for a favourable political alliance. Such practices were not uncommon among the aristocracy of times gone by, so that alone would not be enough to qualify King Mi-Bel for the award.

However, Star has no intention to marry any of the unpromising suitors (a much older cousin, a drunk and womaniser and a sorceror who practices black magic and consorts with demons), especially since she has fallen in love with the hunky Egyptian mercenary Belzar who saved her from a kidnapping attempt. So Star enlists the aid of the goddess Ishtar and the treacherous priest Abeshu.

And so Abeshu fills up Mi-Bel with wine at the great feast, where Star’s betrothal is to be announced, until he is so drunk that he agrees to let Star name her own husband. When Star chooses Belzar, Mi-Bel is so furious that he asks Abeshu for advice how to undo that match. The duplicitous Abeshu has just the idea. Let Star marry Belzar, have a big wedding feast and then escort the newlyweds to the bridal suite, where they will be immured alive. And this is exactly what Mi-Bel orders done.

Such parenting skills deserves an award and so King Mi-Bel is the winner of the 2020 Retro Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents.

King Mi-Bel appeared in person. He was carried onto the stage in a litter and emerged, clad in splendid white and gold kingly robes, his beard in fine ringlets and a golden crown adorning his royal head. He then proceeded to hold the following acceptance speech in a thunderous voice.

Thank you, people of a strange and unknowable future. It is a great honour for me to accept this award for the swift and decisive way I dealt with my wayward daughter whose name shall never be spoken again in my presence.

What possessed that stupid girl to think she actually had the right to choose her own husband? Does she not know that princesses are merely pawns, useful only to form political alliances? Alliances that my daughter upset by deciding to marry that.. that.. that Egyptian dog! Why, of why could my wife, that stupid cow, not bear me a son? Why was I cursed with an uppity daughter who does not know her place?

Truly, I had no choice but to get rid of my wayward daughter and that husband of hers. And immurement is not too bad a fate. Better than burning, beheading, strangulation or dismemberment, at any rate. Truly, I was merciful, more merciful than could be expected. Besides, my wayward daughter and that dog of a husband of hers at least had the decendy to refrain from whining and moaning behind the walls, because it’s so annoying, when they do that…

Thank you, Your Majesty, but that’s quite enough out of you. Take your award and get thee back to ancient Babylon.

***

Now we’ve dealt with the Retro award, we come to the main event. As in 2019, no real front runner appeared for a long time. But unlike 2019, where there were several likely candidates, 2020 had far more candidates for the title of Parent of the Year than candidates for the Darth Vader Parenthood Award. Because 2020 was dominated by tales of grumpy men who found themselves reluctantly thrust into a parent role and rose to the occasion, as the stories of Din Djarin, Geralt of Rivia, Sherlock Holmes (who looks remarkably like Geralt of Rivia except for the hair) and even Jean-Luc Picard prove.

Emily Dodson, a young mother who is implicated to be involved in the kidnapping and murder of her own baby in the new Perry Mason series, seemed to be a contender for a while. Alas, Emily turned out to be innocent of the crime and guilty only of sleeping with the wrong man.

The new Perry Mason also yielded another candidate, Birdy McKeegan, a woman who exploits the religious fervour and strange visions of her daughter Alice to start a cult. She also pimps out the the underage Alice in exchange for gasoline. But while Birdy is undoubtedly awful, she’s not quite awful enough.

Empress Philippa Georgiou of the Terran Empire made an eleventh hour bid for the award, when she attempted to torture her adoptive daughter Michael Burnham into loving and obeying her, with predcitably tragic results. But while Empress Philippa Georgiou certainly displayed some very twisted ideas about parenting, she also clearly cared about her daughter and torturing Michael rather than executing her was a merciful act by the admittedly low standards of the Terran Empire. So nice try, Philippa, but no award.

Besides, another truly terrible intergalactic dictator and dreadful parent had emerged in the meantime. And so the 2020 Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fiction Parents goes to…

Drumroll

Galactic Overseer Simon Novalight

This is another winner where many members of our esteemed audience will go, “Who?”, so let me briefly introduce Galactic Overseer Simon Novalight to you and explain why he deserves this award.

As chronicled in the 2019 romantic space opera novel Nightchaser and its 2020 sequel Starbreaker by Amanda Bouchet, Simon Novalight is your typical intergalactic dictator. He wants to rule the galaxy and bring order to it under his control and he also wants to make everything beige and brown, because Simon Novalight really, really hates colour. However, this is not the Bad Taste Award, so let’s talk about his family.

After squashing a rebellion, he took a liking to Caitrin, a young woman from one of the rebel worlds and forced her to marry him – in exchange for not scorching the entire galactic rim. From this unhappy marriage resulted a daughter named Quintessa, though she goes by Tess.

When Tess was a small child, certain genetic anomalies were detected, genetic anomalies that gave her a kind of superfast healing factor (think Wolverine, but without the claws and the adamantium). Whereupon Simon Novalight decided to have his scientists experiment on his daughter and extract as much blood as he could from her to create a supersoldier serum.

Novalight also murdered his wife, once he realised that neither he nor his wife carried the genetic abnormality that Tess had, which suggests that his wife had been seeing someone else and that this someone else was the father of Tess. Astute readers will figure out the answer to the question of Tess’ paternity well before it’s confirmed in the sequel.

Once he’d gotten all the super blood he needed from Tess, Simon Novalight decided that he didn’t need either a daughter or a blood donor anymore. And so he ordered his right-hand man Nathan Bridgebane to dump Tess, than eight years old, out of the nearest airlock. However, Bridgebane found his conscience just in time and dumped Tess off at an orphanage run by a pair of awesome lesbians instead.

In the next twenty years or so, Tess did a stint in a space prison, broke out and stole a spaceship, became a smuggler/space pirate and joined the rebellion. She turned up on the radar of her father and his right-hand man Bridgebane again, when she accidentally stole a shipment of Novalight’s super-soldier serum. Because as Moff Gideon can confirm, making super-soldier serum from super blood is not easy. Especially if you unwisely killed off your blood supply or think that you did.

Novalight is now really, really eager to bring Tess in. Not because he cares about her, but because he really, really needs her blood to make more super-soldier serum. And so he shoots two of her crewmates, one fatally, and abducts another crewmate, a blind old woman, to use as leverage against his daughter.

He also starts a galaxy-wide program to register every citizen via an implanted ID chip, which is also a convenient way to take samples of blood en masse and find more potential super blood donors. As for those super-soldiers, he’s certainly not going to use them for benign purposes either.

That kind of villainy deserves an award and therefore Galactic Overseer Simon Novalight is the deserving winner of the 2020 Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents.

Applause

In spite of his busy schedule as dictator of the galaxy, Simon Novalight showed up in person to accept his award, dressed in a plain brown suit. He also gave King Mi-Bel and his splendid royal robes the side-eye, as the two 2020 winners briefly met in the green room.

Simon Novalight then proceeded to give his acceptance speech in the voice of a particularly dour fire and brimstone preacher.

Thank you. Thank you, good people of this universe, for honouring my important work with this award. I could not be more grateful that finally, someone recognises my hard work to bring peace, order and security to the galaxy. Because there are still those out there, who would undo my great work and…

Escuse me, Overseer Novalight, but this award is actually for your parenting skills or lack thereof.

Parenting skills, oh yes. Quintessa, my – sniff – dearly departed daughter, taken from me so young along with her mother, my poor beloved Caitrin.

And I assure you, citizens of the galaxy, that there is no truth, absolutely none, to the rumours that my daughter Quintessa is not only still alive, but also a member of the rebellion. Those are lies, malicious rumours spread by those terrorists of the rebellion. As are the claims that I murdered my own wife and tried to kill my daughter as well. Lies, all lies. Caitrin died of a dreadful disease. And no, it’s absolutely not true that I infected her.

Also, it’s all Quintessa’s own fault. Why does she have to be so selfish? All I want is a little of her super-blood. After all, she has five litres of it, so why can’t she donate a little bit of it for the sake of galactic peace? Ungrateful brat! Just like her mother Caitrin, that ungrateful bitch…

Wait a minute, did you just say that astute readers will figure out the mystery of Quintessa’s paternity? So does that mean that you know who Quintessa’s father is? Then I demand that you tell me at once or I shall have you tortured, imprisoned and executed…

And that’s quite enough out of you, Overseer Novalight. So let’s beam you back to your space station, where you can rant in peace. After all, it’s hardly my fault, if you can’t see what’s in front of your own nose.

***

And that’s it for the 40th annual Darth Vader Parenthood Award for Outstandingly Horrible Fictional Parents. Who will take this coveted (not) award next year? You’ll find out in this space.

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The Obligatory Christmas Post 2020

Yes, I know that Christmas has been over for four days now, but I was pretty busy with a large translation job, so here is the somewhat belated obligatory 2020 Christmas post.

In spite of the pandemic, our Christmas wasn’t all that different this year. I spent the holidays with my parents whom I see almost every day anyway. And since most of the extended family we used to see on Christmas have passed away by now, the only other people I saw – briefly and with sufficient distance – were neighbours.

Unfortunately, there was no suitable tree in my parents’ garden this year, so we had to buy one.  It’s a Nordmann fir like pretty much all commercially sold Christmas trees in Germany. It’s a nicely shaped tree, too, though I will never understand why Nordmann firs are so popular as Christmas tree, because the long needles actually make decorating the tree more difficult.

The Christmas tree to be in my parents’ garden and still undecorated.

I decorated the tree on the evening of December 23. It was a lot of work, because we have a lot of ornaments, including many vintage ones which are more than fifty years old and very delicate. Still, I think the tree turned out well.

Christmas tree shot with flash

Christmas tree shot without flash. Note the real candles, which only burn for about fifteen minutes or so.

A close-up look at the Christmas tree and the vintage ornaments. Some of these are more than 50 years old.

Another close-up look at the Christmas tree

Another close-up look at the Christmas tree with lots of wooden ornaments. Most of those are actually mine and were gifts by relatives.

The Christmas tree viewed from another angle with two bonus reflections in the windows.

Christmas Eve is the main event in Germany, so we had coffee/tea and Dundee cake, which I baked just after lunch, because cake with lots of fruit and a shot of whisky just feels very festive to me.

Christmas Eve coffee table with Dundee cake and decorations.

Afterwards, we had the traditional Christmas dinner in my family, which consists of herring salad, served with homemade walnut bread and equally homemade Café de Paris butter. The recipe for the butter may be found here. The recipe for the herring salad goes back to my grandmother. I shared it in this guest post over at the Skiffy and Fanty Show almost three years ago. Though nowadays, I half all the ingredients, because otherwise you’ll have enough salad to last you well into the new year. Unless it goes off first.

Herring salad with homebaked walnut bread and equally homemade Café de Paris butter

After dinner, we unwrapped the presents. Because of the pandemic, I ordered everything online this year, even things I normally would have bought in person, which wasn’t ideal, but worked out fine in the end.

My Dad with the lit up Christmas tree in the background.

Christmas presents wrapped (my Dad’s)

Christmas presents wrapped (my Mom’s)

Christmas presents wrapped (mine). The mailman brought the two books which are not wrapped on Christmas Eve, so they just went under the tree as they were.

My Dad unwrapping Christmas presents and admiring the female form on the cover of the 2020 Hot Girls calendar.

My Mom unwrapping Christmas presents.

Me unwrapping Christmas presents. I didn’t bother to get dressed up, because I didn’t feel like it.

Unwrapped Christmas presents (my Dad’s). This time around, it was not necessary to censor the calendar. The little bags contain breadbaking spices, BTW, because my Dad has taken up breadbaking.

Unwrapped Christmas Presents (my Mom’s). The books are all mysteries this time around, three historical mysteries (Abir Mukherjee, Antonia Hodgson and Volker Kutscher) and one contemporary mystery (Elly Grffith). You can also see some of the crochet Christmas tree ornaments I made.

Unwrapped Christmas presents (mine). Again, lots of books plus a calendar and a bottle of mulled wine courtesy of the Bremen translators’ meet-up.

Finally, here are some random decoration photos:

Table with wine and holiday decorations.

The Virgin Mary of the glowing heart (courtesy of a votive candle) is back, together with another voive candle holder and a glass nativity scene.

The Virgin Mary of the glowing heart ornament is a favourite of my Mom’s and actually inspired one of my stories, where a similarly glowing figure scares a would-be thief into mending his ways.

The Playmobil nativity scene is back as well. The shepherds are actually farmer women and children, since male shepherds were unavailable. Though I also imagine that farmer women would have had much more practical gifts for Mary and her child than either the three wise men (whom Playmobil does produce) or the male shepherds. I’ve also decided that should I ever come across a Playmobil drummer, I’ll purchase him or her and add them to the nativity scene as the Little Drummer Boy from the song.

Playmobil nativity scene

 

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