Kirk Demarais's Blog, page 4

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #17: Night in a Graveyard

 

Title: Night in a Graveyard
Manufacturer: Haunted House Music Co. (Golden Circle Inc.)
Year: 1985
Total Runtime: About 25 Min 
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: No
Music: A segment called "Midnight Music" that sounds like it's from "Night of the Living Dead."
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: Gremlin laughter
Review: Night in a Graveyard is one of the three Halloween albums released by the "Haunted House Music Co." in 1985. I like to think of it as a non-musical option to its companion, Haunted House, for those times when you feel that music will diminish the experience.

If you've ever read "The Family Circus" you may recall that Bil Keane would turn to his son Billy for cartoons. In that same spirit I invited my eleven-year-old son to help review this tape. As we listened, I jotted down some of his thoughts...

As side one began he was skeptical.
"They really overuse the wind. Pretty sure trees don't do... whatever that is, very much"

Then confusion set in.
"Is that crying, or maniacal laughter?"
"I've never heard a cat make that sound."

As his mind struggled to make sense of the soundscape, he formed a scene.
"Makes me think I'm hiking up a stone staircase, going up a mountain to a cave. Bats are flying out,
and witches are inside."

He gave purpose to some random cries.
"Sounds like someone's lost, scared."
Other associations were made.
"Sounds like the ghost host from Disney."

Side two is full of random, individual sound clips that seemed to stoke his imagination."Sounds like if dogs were at a play, and they were really not liking it."
"Sound like if a giant were trying to sew, and kept poking his thumb with a needle."
"Sounds like Donald Duck on laughing gas."

Though he's never seen a horror show he understood what the "Midnight Music" is about.
"Sounds like the part in a horror movie where the murderer is in the house creeping around with a knife. Everyone's like, 'Where is he?'"

His final verdict?
"I liked it. it was kind of cool. It had a lot if different things in it... variety."
Rating: "3 or 4 out of 5"


Seeing how these tapes have been playing constantly in our house for weeks on end, I didn't expect him to get spooked. So I was surprised when he was too uneasy to take the recycling bin to the garage (one of his weekly chores) after our listening session. I offered him a flashlight and encouragement, but his solution was to invite our dog along on his dark journey.

Then a few minutes ago he asked me to investigate a face he saw in the ceiling vent. Tonight may be a long night.

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #16: Haunted House

 

Title: Haunted House 
Manufacturer: Haunted House Music Co. (Golden Circle Inc.) 
Year: 1985 
Total Runtime: 1 Hour 
Repeats on both sides: No 
Stories: No 
Music: Familiar spooky sounding instrumental on side one
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: Definitely the music 
Review: Haunted House is chintzy and samey, and I love it. What puts it high above the rest is the music. There is a constant ethereal droning that keeps the listener in a state of unease. Rather than the jarring storms and explosions commonly found on Halloween tapes, the eerie tones on Haunted House create a trance-like mood, carrying you helplessly through a nightmare.

The music feels so ridiculously familiar, but I can't confirm its source. The track is listed as "Music from the Fourth Dimension" and is available on side two independent from any sound effects. It may be Spencer Moore's Capital Hi-Q library music, similar to what is heard in both "Teenagers from Outer Space," and "Night of the Living Dead." Any more info would be appreciated.

Haunted House is one of a series of three Halloween records that also includes Night in a Graveyard (Review to come) and The Ride of the Headless Horseman. Both were released in 1985 under the corporate pseudonym Haunted House Music Co. The real manufacturer, Golden Circle Inc., put out dozens of cassette compilations, many of them unofficial, and most of them bearing questionable (yet lovable) graphic design. The blurry print jobs did them no favors.

These are low-fidelity to the core, but this project seems wildly ambitious compared to the other Golden Circle releases. We're talking three original, long playing albums all released in the same year, all with original artwork. Maybe it's my imagination, but there's a sincerity surrounding these records that is uncommon. Is it possible that something more than money was motivating this undertaking? Whether that's true or not, Haunted House is a great example of Halloween magic on a budget from an unlikely source.
Rating: 5 of 5


Album art for the vinyl edition

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #15: Disney's Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House (1979 version)

Title: Disney's Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House
Manufacturer: Walt Disney Productions
Year: 1979
Total Runtime: 30 Min (roughly) 
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: No
Music: A few bits of incidental music 
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: Everyone seems to have their own favorite part

Review: Disney's impact on the Halloween album industry is immeasurable. By the 1960s Disney had amassed three decades' worth of state-of-the-art sound effects from short subjects, feature films, educational programming, and theme park attractions. Disneyland Records had been adapting Disney fixtures into audio programs since 1956. It was inevitable that the two would meet. That happened in 1964 when Disney released the first edition LP of Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House. (The second, updated release is the subject of this review.)


Chilling, Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted House, 1964

However, it seems that this was not the first Halloween sound effects record to exist. If the dates are correct, that honor would go to Hallowe'en Spooky Sounds from Sounds Records which was released two years earlier in 1962. (Note that I'm not counting spooky music albums. Those date further back.)


Hallowe'en Spooky Sounds, Sounds Records,1962 

There's another release by Sounds Records that also claims a 1962 copyright called Spooky Sound Effects. But that doesn't seem possible considering one of the tracks, "Storm, Wind, Cats, Dogs, Squeaking Door," is actually a recording called "The Haunted House" that was lifted from the 1964 Disney record and played at half speed. The '62 date may reference the inclusion of content from a third Sounds Records release called Music For Monsters.


Spooky Sound Effects, Sounds Records, year unknown (though the internet says 1961 and '62)

The 1979 version of Chilling Thrilling Sounds contains all new content. Side one is a series of vignettes called "Frightening Situations" and side two is full of "Eerie sound effects" that let you "create your own tales of terror." The biggest break from it's predecessor is the lack of narration. This gives each recording different functionality. Also different are fans' opinions as to which is superior.

Both albums set the standard for Halloween records and are recommended to anyone who wants to hear Hollywood quality production values, and professional audio artistry that wasn't hindered by any lack of resources. This isn't for everyone because the truth is, much of the appeal of Halloween records lies in their improvised nature. Chilling Thrilling Sounds will also disappoint anyone seeking a direct connection to the Haunted Mansion ride. Those listeners should look for the 1969 album called The Story and Song of the Haunted Mansion.

Well, this is what happens when I get all caught up in facts and historic details— I forgot to make a single joke.

Rating: 5 of 5
 

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #14: Thriller Chiller Sound Effects (Frankenstein label)

 
Title: Thriller Chiller Sound Effects (Frankenstein label) 
Not to be confused with Fun World's first release of Thriller/Chiller Sound Effects
The CD release is called 55 Minute Horror Sounds
Manufacturer: Fun World
Year: Unknown 
Total Runtime: 45 Minutes 
Repeats on both sides: Yes. Also repeats within each side
Stories: No   
Music: An all too short musical introduction and outro
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: The music. Also an extra loud rooster.
Also the phrase, "You've entered the wrong door...and you're not coming out alive"
Review: You know the song that says "This is Halloween, this is Halloween?" Well, that's how I feel about this tape. The opening theme blew me away the first time I heard it. It has a somber, Dark Ages quality, but it's been filtered through the charm of a Casio. To me, those minor notes capture a sense of mischief and mystery like nothing else. After the forty-nine second melody ended I immediately skimmed through the whole recording wanting more, but it only repeats again at the tail end.  

As far as I can tell, the tune has no name, and there's no known writer or performer. It's as though the essence of the season was mystically forged onto magnetic tape. A couple years after I bought the album I heard the same music coming from a battery-operated jack-o-lantern in a Wal-Mart (back when it still had a dash in the name). It was another Fun World product, leading me to wonder if it originated with the company. As far as I'm concerned, this is the "Jingle Bells" of Halloween. If only I can convince my family to play it at my funeral.
 
No sound effects could live up to that musical intro in my mind, but there's a lot that I appreciate on Thriller Chiller. It opens with crickets, the universal night song that is surprisingly absent on the majority of Halloween tapes. Once a woodland setting is established, a series of terrors are ushered in. While the common practice is to thrust the listener into mayhem, Thriller Chiller rolls out the scares as though you're following a path and encountering each fright one by one. There's a loose "stormy, monster-infested forest" theme (Although that doesn't explain the recurring sound of high heels on a smooth floor.)
 
But that name— why would Fun World give a superior new recording the same name as their previous sound effects album— an album that used stolen audio from Horrible Sounds of Halloween which was stolen from Halloween Horrors. It's possible that they got into legal trouble. It's also possible that they just wanted to be able to use the packaging interchangeably...


My other theory is that Halloween sound effect tapes rank so low on the collective care-o-meter that nobody involved was willing to invest an extra shred of time or creativity. These albums are intended to be as ephemeral as the sticker on a rotten banana, or the cardboard you wrap around a disposable coffee cup to keep from burning your hand. Furthermore, understanding this fact of life is a healthy way of thinking that will prevent one from spending precious money on obsolete relics of yesteryear, or wasting hours listening to people who are now long retired, pretend to be monsters, or typing thousands of words that amount to a guessing game about what happened thirty years ago, with no real evidence to stand on. But that's just a theory.

Rating: 5 of 5

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #13: Demonic Soundscapes

 

Title: Demonic Soundscapes
Manufacturer: Orchard Lane Music
Year: 1995
Total Runtime: side one 18 min, side two is 23:30
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: No
Music: Incidental music throughout
Narration: A demon provides an introduction.
Distinct Audio: “If I should die before I wake” x 20
Review: Released in 1995, Demonic Soundscapes is the most recent recording in this series of reviews. Admittedly, I have a strong ‘80s bias, but the timing of this one is intriguing. The album channeled 1970s and ‘80s fright flicks, and a Heavy Metal aesthetic during a time when both were considered passe. In 1995 Metal had long been ousted by "Alternative" rock, but it had yet to evolve into "Nu Metal." In ‘95 Horror was facing an identity crisis. The top horror films that year include the arguably less-than-classics: "Demon Knight," "The Curse of Michael Myers," and a "Candyman" sequel. The genre had yet to experience the "Scream"-inspired sea change in ‘96.  

Demonic Soundscapes didn’t care. It’s headstrong commitment to extremes is the most interesting thing about it. (I suppose they were right on trend when you figure that the X Games debuted the year this came out.) A record so radi-cool demanded more than the standard parental advisory sticker. Instead it proclaims, "WARNING: This album will drive you absolutely insane.” It’s not marketed as a Halloween release because clearly, it’s target audience are not people who need an annual excuse to get evil.

Demonic Soundscapes is a collection of seven tracks (and an intro) that follow a progression through horror movie inspired scenes. Early in the album the listener travels through a werewolf infested forest before taking shelter in a vampire’s castle. Other features include an Exorcist-style possession, some slasher film murders, and a torture chamber. The latter is the weakest track due to heavy repetition and a break in tone. Dr. T. Orcher is a bit of a goof, and, to be honest, I find little entertainment value in the subject of human torture. (Grisly murders are fine though.)

Perhaps their most unorthodox decision was to include a full list of credits. No Halloween albums share more info than this one. Demonic Soundscapes is more calculated, artful, and professional than the rest. It may not be the quintessential Halloween experience, but as the demon says, “You will encounter death at the end of your journey, but not before you encounter pain and horror at it’s finest.”
Rating: 5 of 5

Here's the first track...

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #12: Halloween Party: The Halloween Party

 

Title: Halloween Party: The Halloween Party
Manufacturer: Eerie Sounds Music Co.
Year: 1987
Total Runtime: 30 Min  
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: No
Music: Short synth piece at the end of side two called “Ghostly Music on the Wind”
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: Fireworks at the end of side one
Review:Under no circumstances should Halloween Party: The Halloween Party be played at a Halloween party. A lengthy series of isolated noises just isn't festive. Nobody on the dance floor will request an encore of “Owls Hooting” or “Glass and Crockery Breaking.” The only party where this album might be welcome is a gathering of nature lovers. All too many of the sound effects are either straight up wildlife recordings, or processed wildlife recordings with spookified names like "Goblins and Gremlins." That's like trying to pass "Ranger Rick" off as "Fangoria."

The best thing about this misnamed record is the packaging art (see below). It served as an effective billboard that could compete with the best CD longboxes. I'm sure it would have charmed me out of my $2.99, though sadly, it was destined for the trash since they skimped on a cassette case. Halloween Party:The Halloween Party was released with a sister album called A Night in a Graveyard/A Night in a Haunted House. I'll bet it sounds more like a night at the zoo.


Rating: 2 of 5
(No audio link available, but that's not a bad thing.)

 

 

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #11: Haunted Mansion

Title: Haunted Mansion
Manufacturer: Rubies
Year: 1987
Total Runtime: 30 Min
Repeats on both sides: No
Stories: No
Music: "Toccata and Fugue in D minor" fades in and out
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: There are a couple of bird freakouts.
Review: This is the first of two tapes called Haunted Mansion that were released by Rubies. (The follow-up came out in 1992 and sounds similar, though not identical.) This seems to be another attempt at creating a false association with Disney quality. There's definitely no connection to the ride. They didn't even attempt to place the setting indoors.

According to their web site Rubies is “the world’s largest designer, manufacturer and distributor of Halloween costumes” and has been around for 66 years. With those credentials, expectations are high. Did they deliver the goods? More or less, I suppose.

I think the recording meets, but never exceeds expectations. The montage keeps the scary stuff coming at a steady pace. There’s enough agony present to steer it clear of "generic sound effects" territory. It's hard to tell if there's anything original material here. I recognize segments from Haunted Horror for one. It sounds like they may have used the ol' "throw together a stew of lifted effects and call it our own" trick. Though there is something to be said for complete aural chaos. My biggest complaint is the erratic music. It’s like riding in a car with someone who can’t decide on the right volume. Once they finally turn it off and you try to strike up a conversation, they crank it up again.

The best aspect of the product is the artwork, though sadly there is no signature nor credit given. The line work, the composition, the incredible hand lettering— everything works harmoniously to give us a perfect Halloween scene. The shadow is likely inspired by Freddy Krueger, but even if it's just a handsy scarecrow, it's still pretty cool.

Rating: 3 of 5

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #10: Halloween Sounds of Horror

 

Title: Halloween Sounds of Horror
Manufacturer: Viderex international LTD
Year: 1995
Total Runtime: 60 Min
Repeats on both sides: Maybe. I’m not sure. They sound really similar.
(Side 2 only plays out of the left speaker, at least on my copy)
Stories: No
Music: Scattered brief musical flourishes
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum...
Review: Halloween Sounds of Horror was produced by Viderex International LTD, the same company that gave us security killbots, and a leaked zombie virus. Seriously, what a perfect name for a malevolent corporation in a horror movie. If I listen to this on Halloween night I expect my organs will turn into insects.

Your opinion of this record hinges on whether or not you’re up for listening to a solid hour’s worth of pounding heartbeats. This is the heartbeat album. It’s an annoying choice, but it makes sense. Heart rate is a great indicator of fear, and our silly, confused hearts can’t help but match the rhythm when we hear it— even if it’s fake. I once heard this very recording played outside of a haunted event and it did communicate a sense of dread, at least at first. (My favorite part of the tape is when a low, grinding note comes in under the heartbeat, and it sounds like your standing down the street of an industrial dance club.)

My other qualm is the monotony. Processed laughter, alarm bells and thunder are in constant rotation. Granted, I’m sure there are some very specific circumstances where this is useful. If your spookhouse has a small room with a laughing guy holding a haunted alarm clock, then this is the tape for you.

Rating: 3 of 5

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #9: Horrible Sounds of Halloween

 

Title: Horrible Sounds of Halloween (Black letter variant)
Manufacturer: Tony (U.S.A.) Inc.
Year: 1988
Total Runtime: 30 Min
Repeats on both sides: Yes (and it repeats over four times on each side)
Stories: No
Music: Funeral march
Narration: No
Distinct Audio: See below
Review: Like a recurring nightmare, or an unrelenting stalker, or the monster at the end of the horror movie, this collection of effects keeps coming back. From what I gather, the recording on Horrible Sounds of Halloween was not only sampled on Chamber of Horrors , it was bootlegged for Scary Cassette: Sons Affreux and stolen again for Thriller/Chiller Sound Effects . (Thanks for the info Nostalgiakidd125.)

The redeeming factor is that Horrible Sounds is the source material— the mother lode from which the other cassettes were spawned. (I'm referring to the sequence of effects. The individual sounds date back to the 1974's Halloween Horrors, review to come.)

Having listened to this sequence about four dozen times this month, it is now obvious to me what’s going on. It’s a story of revenge. Use the audio link at the end of this post to listen along as I explain...

___________________ 

On a dark, dark night the wind grumbled as a storm took over the sparsely populated township. The sounds of the night were momentarily pierced by maniacal laughter coming from a small cabin at the edge of the woods. A man with rain-soaked hair sat by the fireplace, gleefully recounting the atrocity he had just committed.

The wildlife was restless, but it wasn't the storm, or the man's outburst that put the animals on edge— it was the witch. She followed her black cat through the open window at the back of the man's cabin, crushing the tip of her cone-shaped hat in the process. Standing behind the murderer, the witch surprised him with a shrill cackle. He whipped around, but before he could strike, her spell took effect and his innards felt ablaze. His guard dogs, unfortunate for him, were still chained to his shed. The howls of both beast and master meshed indistinguishably in the cold air.

The victorious witch slowly forced open the rotting front door with the aid of an unseen evil. She screeched with emotion as images from earlier that night flashed in her tormented mind: the joyous new litter of black kittens....hours later, the evidence of an intruder in her cave.... a found bucket of rat poison.... and the most ghastly discovery— the furry black stillness that surrounded her whining mama cat.

The funeral procession saw no mourners, only the shell-shocked mortician behind the horse's reins, and his moronic, torch-bearing assistant who guided them through the fog. There was nobody to notice the moaning spirit exit through the walls of the casket and leave the carriage. The ghost found a new home in the nearest available body. The assistant doubled over in pain, dropping his torch as he lost his free will. Nearby wolves echoed his snarls of agony. The ghost, now in full control of his new vessel, turned his attention to the mortician. He laughed at his newfound strength as he put a painful end to the witness.

Back at the witch's cave a cauldron simmered unattended. The possessed man had entered undetected, but as his giddy anticipation grew, so did his breathing. The sound of his fiendish excitement revealed his presence. For the second time that night he felt the ire of the witch. From the shadows she had pierced his body with a tree branch covered in otherworldly thorns. He might have escaped with his life were it not for the empty bucket that tangled his feet, ensuring his second death. As he lay gasping on the stone floor, he heard the impossible sound of a big city ambulance coming to his rescue. Alas, it was an auditory manifestation of the searing, supernatural pain that enveloped him.

As the witch dragged the fresh body back out into the storm the mama cat called out to her, paralyzed by a feeling of unexplained fear. Her master continued out of earshot as the cat called, and called, and called.
"Boo!" said the ghost of the murderer.

___________________

For some reason I feel compelled to list out all of the elements found on this brief, yet seminal recording. (The names are my own as opposed to their official titles on the track listing of Halloween Horrors.) They appear as follows...

Wind
Male laughter
Own
Crickets
Bats
Cackle
Man in agony
Chains
A howl that sounds like “Eeeeeeee!”
Dogs barking
Door creaking
Witch scream
Funeral march
Ghost moan
Low guttural noises with growl
High pitched growls
Thunder and trickling water
Man laughing as someone sounds like they’re in pain
More thunder
Bubbles popping
Heavy Breathing
High pitched sounds of agony mixed with a high howl 
Pained man possibly running
The sounds of an empty bucket
Siren
Thunder crashes
Meowing cat x5
“Boo!” followed by laughter

Rating: 2 of 5

HALLOWEEN TAPE REVIEW #8: Chamber of Horrors

 
Title: Chamber of HorrorsManufacturer: Tony (U.S.A.) Inc.Year: 1988 Total Runtime: 45 Min Repeats on both sides: Yes (but not on the earliest version) Stories: No Music: It kicks off with a familiar pop song. Then the jazz fusion takes over. Narration: No (but there is on the earliest version) Distinct Audio: A man who sounds like he lacks personal boundaries yells “Happy Halloween!” many times.
Review: Chamber of Horrors leaves behind the gasps and growls of Halloween tradition. Instead it hurls a jumbled audio assault on the listener. It’s impossible to determine whether this approach is an act of apathy, or if it’s a brilliant take on the psychological horror genre. Either way it makes you feel like your brain is dripping from your ear holes.

The bulk of the audio came from other sources. There’s a good chance it was stolen, because I’m going to assume that very few lawyers were involved in the making of this this tape. Other than the “Happy Halloween!” voice over, there are three components repeated on the record. The first is a short, instrumental sound-alike of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Playing on top of that is a sequence from the popular Horrible Sounds of Halloween album. Lastly, and this is the real head-scratcher, they use a huge chunk of the 1973 song ‘Firebird/Birds Of Fire’ by Jazz artist Don Sebesky. This is not just a standard jazz ditty. It’s a bird themed medley that mashes up a clip from Igor Stravinsky’s 1920 ballet ‘Firebird’ with a jazz rock cover of the song 'Birds of Fire,' originally performed by Mahavishnu Orchestra. (That single sentence represents over two hours of research.)The end result is a flat out freakout.

With such chaotic content it's hard to fathom how they came up with the perfect artwork.  It's simple, if I want some joy, I look at it. If I want more joy, I look at it again.

The continual stream of Ebay listings suggest that this was a very popular tape. Or maybe it wasn’t popular at all considering most of them are still sealed in their original packages thirty years later. There is a variation of this album that’s super rare. The only evidence of its existence that I’ve seen is a seven year old post by a user named SIYS on a Halloween forum. The variant has an alternate "side A" called “The Haunting: A Horror Story.”



The track is a narrated audio tour of different horrible places. It reminds me of side one of Spooky Tales and Scary Sounds, but the musical score gives it a greater sense of urgency. According to a lone comment on a deleted YouTube video, "The Haunting" proved too scary for kids and was removed. (This follows in the great tradition of “too scary” legends like the Hatbox Ghost, and the un-finishable haunted house.) Two years later Tony (U.S.A.) Inc. released a completely different cassette (review to come) with the exact same title because they wanted to make life a baffling ordeal.

My only criticism is that Chamber of Horrors is so incoherent that it doesn't naturally feel like Halloween. So last Halloween I remedied this by blaring it out my window all evening, forcing a Pavlovian association between the tape and the holiday. I suggest you do the same.
Rating: 4 of 5
(For more Chamber of Horrors thoughts and discussion, see the 2014 post on Dinosaur Dracula.)





The most common of the various types of packaging for Chamber of Horrors