Marian Allen's Blog, page 428

Caturday – Krazy Kat

In these days of violent entertainment, it is refreshing to hark back to days of yore, when our parents and grandparents were regaled by such innocent fare as a love triangle between a bulldog policeman, the androgynous cat of his devotion, and the vile-tempered mouse the cat adored, who returned that devotion with a heartily heaved brick to the head. Good, clean, gentle fun. (As #4 daughter said when she was very wee, “I’m speaking sarcasmly. Don’t you know sarcasm when you hear it?”)

Krazy Kat by George Herriman featured these characters and more, all played out against a surreal background that made it not only unnecessary for its readers to try dope but probably ill-advised.

Wikipedia has a nice article on the Krazy Kat comic (or komic) strip, and Yoe! Studios has a beautiful site devoted to George Herriman, replete with “c” words spelled with “k”, just as the master would have wished.

I would love to illustrate this post with a Krazy Kat picture, but the net has been fluttering with talk about bloggers being sent Cease and Desist orders for posting pictures from other sites, even if they link back, so here is a picture of a brick, instead. I took the picture, and I own the brick so, unless Rameses II or whoever invented brick-making wants to sue me, I should be okay.

Which brings me to my next subject: PACKAGED, by Leslie R. Lee, probably my favorite book ever, is FREE at Smashwords until the end of July 2012. Here is the link: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/132678 Go buy it (It says it costs $2.99 and worth every penny, but it’s free). At checkout, enter the coupon code SSWIN. Here is the post I wrote featuring the book and why I love it: http://www.marianallen.com/2012/03/bizarro-or-what/ .

Red Brick is one of the main characters in the book. He also runs a restaurant/club named Red Brick, and the menus are inscribed on … You’re way ahead of me … red bricks.

My short stories, except the latest one, which I haven’t Smashworded yet, are also free this month. Go to my profile page (https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/MarianAllen) scroll down to the short story collections, “buy” them, and enter SSWIN on checkout.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character is sent a Cease and Desist order. By whom? For what?

MA

Rescues And Knife Fights And Food

It’s been a while since I did a good Friday Recommends, so I did one.

I’m still wrasslin’ with my computer. I’ve about decided the problem is Mandriva 2011. Is anybody surprised? Anyone? Bueller? The reason I think so is that, when I Google whatever error message I happen to be getting, there’s always a list of hits of people looking for the solution to that message. Those who solve it are usually people who are comfortable getting into the files and rewriting them. I’m not there, yet, but I’m approaching it. The next time you see me, I may have computer grease under my fingernails and a computer with a picture of a nude hard drive on my office wall.

Pursuant to that, I downloaded the Trinity Rescue Kit, because it was recommended to me by T. Lee Harris, who can write, draw, cook, sew, shoot, repair anything from houses to jewelry — do damn near anything. Oh, and it was free. It’s already fixed one problem, exposing another. ding! Next!

For some reason, a couple of Survivalists have started following me on Twitter. Maybe it’s because I talk about food so much. Maybe it’s the Power of Attraction, since I’ve always been fascinated by stories of survival against odds, like on deserted islands or in the wilderness or wherever. THE BOXCAR CHILDREN surviving on garden thinnings and so forth. At any rate, one of them linked to this fabulous-abulous video at Doomsday Survival Skills demonstrating how to defend yourself in a knife fight. The first recommended move is the one I would instinctively have gone for, so I’m rather proud of myself.

Now let’s take a leap backwards into the past. Come on — hold my hand, it’ll be easy — one … two … three … jump! ~sound of prehistoric animals in the background, hominids grunting around us~ Here we are at NPR’s Culture And Cosmos blog, where famed anthropologist Barbara J. King is talking about humanity’s mostly vegetarian past. Not entirely, but mostly. I think my takeaway lesson is that I eat like a caveman.

Dr. King is a pescatarian, which means she eats fish, so my next stop was at the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch site, where one can read about good/okay/bad seafood choices and can download a printable chart or a mobile app to help make those choices in restaurants or the grocery.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go rummage in my computer’s guts and learn to spit on the floor.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character has to learn to do something new.

MA

Je ne suis pas heureuse

That’s French for “I am not happy.” Why am I not happy? Well, part of it is because that’s just the kind of hairpin I am. Part of being MomGoth is having Sad days and Anxious days for no reason. Part of it is because I’ve finished two stories, and it’s always hard to say goodbye to the fun of creating and hello to the hard work of cosmetology. And part of it is the frustration of my ongoing wrestling match with my computer, not knowing if my foe is hardware or software. ~sigh~

Fortunately for me, if I translate into the French, it makes me think of one of my favorite films, Maitre de Musique (The Music Teacher), a Belgian film about a retired opera star teaching two unknowns. In one scene, the girl tells her teacher, “Je ne suis pas heureux. Non, je ne suis pas.” It’s one of the few bits of French I didn’t need the subtitles to understand.

That’s a sad scene, but it makes me think of the happiest scene, where the two protegés sing their debut at a party. The best of that is that there are lots of lovely closeup shots of who, in this scene, is sitting with his spikey-headed protegé giving the stage the stink-eye.

Watch this with me, and then we’ll both feel happy.

All better.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What makes you feel better when you’re down? How about your main character? Your villain?

MA

Cooking With Charlie

No, I haven’t turned into a cannibobble. I mean we’ve been cooking together.

The other day, he came in and said, “Is there such a thing as cucumber soup?” So I looked on the trusty interwebz and, sure enough, there are a lot of recipes for cucumber soup.

In the kitchen, he grabbed a couple of cucumbers and this dialog ensued:

CHARLIE: What do I do with them?

ME: Peel them and scrape the seeds out.

CHARLIE: Scrape the seeds out? Why scrape the seeds out?

ME: Okay, don’t scrape the seeds out.

So he didn’t.

Also, he said, “Those tomatoes are mushy. Can we use them?”

This was about five bucks’ worth of heirloom tomatoes I’d bought at the farmers’ market a couple of days before.

The secret of a happy marriage is to choose your fights.

The tomatoes went in.

He had just come in from the garden and had a small green pepper and two or three okra pods, so those went in, too.

CHARLIE’S CUCUMBER SOUP

olive oil (garlic-infused)
green onion, sliced
dill weed
two medium cucumbers, peeled and cubed or sliced, seeds left in
tomatoes, cubed or sliced
green peppers, seeds OUT, cut up
tender okra (if desired), cut up
water
veg bouillon
salt and pepper to taste

Heat the oil in a saucepan. If you don’t have garlic-flavored oil, moosh up a clove of garlic and put it in the oil. Add onions, green pepper, and dill. Cook, stirring, until onions are translucent. Meanwhile, put cucumbers and tomatoes into blender and process until pretty liquidy. Add to oil and onions. Add rest of ingredients. Bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer about 20 minutes.

Delicious!

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Someone doesn’t equally value something another person thought was extra-special.

MA

Flower Amidst The Veg

I went to the farmers’ market Wednesday and bought many Heirloom tomatoes from these folks. Also some kickin’ Ugly Tomato Salsa that even Charlie likes, although he doesn’t usually like spicy things.

If you want some delicious tomatoes and/or some kickin’ salsa, go to the Harrison County Farmers’ Market on Wednesday and hope Evan and Hannah are there. You’ll know them by the wide variety of ugly tomatoes they have on display, and also by Hannah’s award-winning tattoo. It’s one of the prettiest I’ve ever seen.

I’m at Fatal Foodies today, with a sad update on the state of our CSA.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: A character finds a flower in an unexpected place. (Yes, I’ve read THE HUNGER GAMES.)

MA

Jack Is Adorkable

Jack “Sistersbane” Wallen

My guest today is Jack Wallen, who is all about zombies in exactly the way I am not. So I asked him:

1. In God’s name, why zombies? Where did this eating brains thing come from?

This is a great question, because it brings up a LOT of nomming good insight. Let’s start from the beginning. For me, it evolved simply from a passion for horror. I’ve loved horror of all sorts since I was a young child. The Universal Monsters were just magic to me. Where most boys wanted to play sports or with dinosaurs, I was busy creating worlds of fright and horror. I used to concoct very complicated ways of scaring my sister and they always worked like magic. I built Halloween costumes from scratch and built models of monsters. Yeah… I was one of ‘those’ kids.

But then, when it came to writing? Well, at first I started out with thrillers. A Blade Away was my first book. I thought for sure I was going to just continue own the thriller path… but eventually my love for horror had its way with my brain and I had no choice. I woke up one morning wondering “What would it be like to turn into a zombie?” That question drove me to write I Zombie I. Since then I’ve been hooked.

Writing about zombies is very satisfying because it’s one of the horror monsters that hasn’t been confiscated by the other genres. Paranormal Romance can’t get its hands on zombies because there’s nothing smexy about them.

I hate to tell you this, Jack, but…. No, I won’t burden you with that knowledge. And you didn’t answer that brain-eating question. But let us proceed.

2. Why do you enjoy writing/reading/watching horror?

For me it’s very cathartic. From my perspective, no other genre is nearly as evocative as horror. We all love a bad guy (or girl) that can tempt us from the good side. Hannibal Lechter was so popular because his flavor of evil was so tempting.

But even beyond that — I find horror sexy. Why? Maybe it was some traumatic incident as a child, but the dark side is a very sensuous playground in which to draw out your hopscotch board.

Not. –Oh, did I say that out loud? Next question:

Shero
(DOES fight zombies)

3. I like Shero. Where did she come from? Does she kill zombies?

I make no bones about this — there’s a big part of me in Shero. I was in a relationship with a very tragic woman who helped me to come to grips with a side of me I wasn’t so sure of. From that, Shero was born. The first Shero novel was dedicated to that girl, as she passed away a few years ago.

Shero is very important to me — that character represents acceptance, love, and passion for who and what we are. Everyone that has read the Shero series loves that they can come away with that rethinking their stance on accepting those who are different, or who just get to have a good laugh and recognize something inside of themselves that they may have previously rejected.

And although there is a lot of me in those books, I don’t fight crime in a little black dress. You might, however, see me kickin’ ass in a kilt though!

I would very much like to see that, Jack. What’s the next convention you’ll be attending? Um, and you never answered the question about Shero killing zombies. I rummaged around in your Monkeypantz…. Let me rephrase that. I visited your Monkeypantz website, and I see that Shero IS righteous, loving shoes and fighting zombies. I knew I liked her.

4. Do your characters ever try to take over from you? What happens if they do try?

When I write Shero books, I find that I become really saucy. That’s the narrator talking. One of the reasons why I love writing Shero is because of that mouthy narrator. I find something so enjoyable about breaking one major writing rule and breaking it BIG TIME!

I also write without a net — that is I do not use an outline. So my books tend to write themselves and I never fight what wants to happen naturally. But writing this way, my characters and story lines really take on a life of their own.

I envy you. If I let what happens naturally happen, either my story lines fall apart or my characters paint themselves into corners. I think I must have dumb characters.

5. What’s your latest/next/WIP project?

I usually have two or three WIPs, but what I am focusing on currently is a one-off horror project that was inspired by an acting workshop I did for The Screampark in Lexington, KY (one of the top-rated haunted attractions in the country). With the blessing of the owners of the haunt I am writing a horror novel based on their haunt. I am thrilled to be writing this book and hope to have it ready for public consumption this September.

Before that is released, the fourth entry in my I Zombie series will be published. Lie Zombie Lie will hit the shelves at the end of July! I’m really excited about this book (probably more so than any book I’ve published to date) because I worked with the Zombie Response Team (http://www.zombieresponseteam.net) who became a major part of the novel.

Check out my website, Get Jack’d (http://www.getjackd.net) for news about the release.

Links:

Get Jack’d: http://www.getjackd.net

Twitter: @jlwallen

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jack-Wallen/203902042967085

Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Jack-Wallen/e/B004MZWR3W

Adorkable Designs: http://www.adorkabledesigns.net

Thank you Marian!

Jack

~   ~   ~   ~   ~

Thank you, Jack! I am certainly all about Zombie annihilation, so I’m glad to have that Zombie Response Team URL.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: What would your main character do if zombies attacked him or her?

MA

#SampleSunday – Mermaid

For some unknown reason, I signed up to write a sweet romance for August for the Summer Reading Trail. At the same time, my internet pal Perry Block complained that the mermayds in “Blood of Mermayds” weren’t Daryl Hannah. So, Perry, here’s a bit of what I’m working on for August:

Perry made a note on his smartphone: Set up store online to sell T-shirt that says Yes, I’m dining alone. He could have one in each color. He could be his own best customer. Maybe he’d give himself a bulk discount. After a moment’s thought, he added: Ties, for formal lone dining.

When the waitress brought his Crab Fest Sampler Platter, he tried to strike up a conversation, but the seaside restaurant was full, and she didn’t have time for more than pleasantries.

Of all the people at all the tables, inside and out, he was the only one alone. Well, people didn’t tend to go to restaurants alone, did they? People didn’t tend to go on vacations alone.

He had lucked out with a table toward the end of the dock outside the restaurant, so he could turn away from the couples and groups and lose himself in the view.

Oops! He’d better pay attention to his plate: A baby potato was rolling across the table. Before he could rescue it, it pitched off the oilcloth and over the side.

An arm came up from the water long enough for its hand to snag the morsel, then withdrew.

Perry froze, certain he hadn’t seen what he’d just seen. He put down his knife and fork, eyes still on the eddy where the arm had — or hadn’t — appeared and disappeared.

He picked up a segment of corn on the cob and dropped it over the rail.

The hand popped up and grabbed it.

He tossed over a piece of fried okra. The hand retrieved it. After a couple of seconds, the hand came up and tossed the okra back onto the deck. He nodded his approval. He didn’t like okra, either.

No bubbles. There are no air bubbles. How can there be no air bubbles? Is it a dead person? Do dead people eat their vegetables so they’ll grow up to be big, strong dead people? Do they eat scallops? Well, not if they keep kosher, obviously….

He flicked a scallop overboard and was absurdly pleased when the hand snapped around it and it wasn’t rejected.

Must be some kid goofing off. No air bubbles is a good trick. Pretty funny.

He picked up his smartphone and pretended to talk into it so nobody would think he was crazy, talking to water with no air bubbles in it.

“Why don’t you come up and join me at the table? I don’t think it’s sanitary, eating underwater like that.”

A pale blob approached the surface. It was a face. A female face. A young, gorgeous, beautiful, sweet, female face, with wide blue eyes, a pert nose and red lips. Her hair was long, blonde, and wavy. She grinned impishly at him.

Is that going well for you?

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Write a scene in a restaurant.

MA

#Caturday – Kitten Scan

Mom and I went to Kosair Children’s Hospital yesterday for a tour, shepherded around by the charming Schuyler Heuser. The first things that greeted us when we came in from the parking garage were two of these guys:

Now, I ask you: If you were a kid, coming into a hospital, maybe not exactly understanding what was going to happen to you, and you saw these majestic and mighty critters lying down in this calm and welcoming pose, would you be reassured? I know I would. I would be all, “Okay, Mom, you can go home, now. I’ll be fine.” I mean, look at this face. Who could be scared, with this face around?

We got to go up to the Neonatal ICU and see the preemies, who were mostly in isolettes — little isolation cribs, to keep them safe from germs. Some of them had only developed to 24 weeks before they were born. We saw a couple who were just over a pound in weight. We got to talk to the Mom of one and the Dad of another, who spent as much time as they could at their babies’ sides. Schuyler told us that one thing volunteers do is hold the babies when their parents can’t be there because of work or taking care of their other children. That’s the job for me! I could snuggle babies all day long.

Schuyler said the hospital prides itself on being as kid-friendly as possible. One thing they do is move the kids who are little enough around in wagons, instead of wheelchairs. We saw several little ones being transported that way, and they were all having a great time.

Another cool thing was the Kitten Scan room. If a kid is old enough to be worried about getting a CT scan, this helps take the worry out of it. The Kitten Scan is a small, simplified, plastic toy CT scanner. On one wall is a board holding various wooden animals. I chose a chicken. The animal is put on the “bed” and pushed into the scanner. On another wall is a screen that shows readings on the “patient” and shows what the CT scan is showing the doctor. I took a video with my camera, but I’ve been trying to get it to post for an hour and a half, and I give up. It showed the interior of the chicken with an egg inside it.

Then we had lunch with Schuyler and another terrific lady, Therese Sirles, Director of the Office of Child Advocacy. A fine time was had by all. We left, saying goodbye to the guardian lions as we went.

I’m posting at The Write Type today on how I raised SAGE from the dead.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Write about a time you were hurt or memorably sick as a child.

MA

 

First Thing In The Morning

I’m jammin’ this post in before the gorgeous, wonderful, magnificent storm-o’-the-day moves in. We’ve been so dry, I’m cheering for Team Thor. It does make me unplug everything, though, since a couple of friends of mine (yes, I have at least two) lost computers when lightning came in through their modems.

Mom got a clean bill of health yesterday from her remove-the-pill-you-huffed-ologist, who continued to impress me favorably by regaling us with tales of stuff he had removed from people’s lungs recently (walnut “It broke apart and I had to chase the pieces all around the lung”, asparagus, cauliflower).

This morning, I told Charlie that Mom and I are going to Louisville for a tour of Kosair Children’s Hospital. His reply:

“I wouldn’t go to Louisville for a tour of the Grand Canyon.”

. . .

Life is good.

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: Someone accidentally breathes something in and has to have it removed. They bring him what they removed, and it isn’t what he huffed, but he recognizes it. Or her.

MA

Now It Can Be Told

That’s “told”, not a mispronunciation of “cold”, although we could certainly use about ten degrees off the swelter. Okay, if it’s so hot, why am I wearing a swelter? Now that we have that out of the way, do you mind if I begin my post? Thank you.

I JUST SIGNED A CONTRACT on the first of a three-book series.

Many long years ago, I began a fantasy novel I called (and, so far, still call) SAGE. I finished it, read it to the Southern Indiana Writers group, edited it, and submitted it to an agent. I got an agent, who suggested rewrites but declined to wait for them. I did the rewrites, got another agent, who wanted rewrites but didn’t like them when I’d done them. Can’t remember who wanted what, but I went through about four agents and as many rewrites.

At length, I started reading the “finished” product to #4 daughter, who had grown up with the book. We both agreed that the book was dead. Murder by rewrite.

So I dug out all the versions. Taking the first version as my template, I took each version apart, isolated the bits I liked from each one, and patched together a rough draft that was massive but included everything #4 daughter and I loved about all the ways the story had been told.

I applied for, and was granted, a week’s writer’s retreat and used it to read through the entire manuscript and make notes of the many, MANY continuity glitches that resulted from switching scenes around for better impact.

desk at retreat – photo by Marian Allen

And now, the manuscript has been accepted by Hydra Publications, with the first book coming out early in 2013.

Happy? Why, yes. Yes, I am.

There may be more rewrites, but I can do that now without killing the book. #4 daughter would never allow it!

A WRITING PROMPT FOR YOU: It’s a clichéd story arc, isn’t it? That’s because it really happens, as it did to me: Somebody has a dream that gets hammered out of shape; when it looks like the dream is dead, the person takes hold of it and brings it back to life and the dream, at last, is validated. Write a scene from any point of that arc, making it fresh by making it specific to that character, that project, that setting.

MA