Jeff Burk's Blog, page 21
June 10, 2011
June 9, 2011
Jimmy Plush, Bear Detective by Garrett Cook – Out Now!
In a city ridden with prostitute furries, cannibal cops and warehouse-sized mob bosses, I've got my work cut out for me. My name is Jimmy Plush. I'm a private detective. I'm also a teddy bear.
It all started when the original Jimmy Plush entered my life, offering to take my gambling debts away if I agreed to switch bodies with him. But I didn't know that being a three-foot-high plush toy would be such a living hell, especially now that everyone in town wants a piece of me. All I've gotten out of this deal is a faithful Chinese chauffeur, a custom teddybear .45, and a girlfriend who won't take off the fox suit she turns tricks in. Now I've got to keep this town clean and try to track down the real Jimmy Plush without losing my stuffing for good.
Only one thing is for sure: Life is hard when you're soft.
Jimmy Plush, Teddy Bear Detective is a high octane pulp satire. In the tradition of Sam Spade, The Shadow, Dick Tracy, Hellboy and Howard the Duck comes a new kind of hero, a hero that reminds us that the measure of a man is in his guts and his gun.
June 8, 2011
May 31, 2011
May 24, 2011
The Brutally Evil Satan Show – June 6th – Portland, OR
Presenting, for one night only, the greatest bizarro event of all time . . .
THE BRUTALLY EVIL SATAN SHOW
staring Father CARLTON MELLICK III
The High Priest of Bizarro and author of such cult favorites as "Satan Burger," "The Baby Jesus Butt Plug," and "Apeshit," brings his most notorious performance back to Portland, OR. Featuring exploding pentagrams, brain cannons, and more zombies than you can shake an upside down cross at!
It's so evil . . . it's retarded!
"Easily the craziest, weirdest, strangest, funniest, most obscene writer in America."
—GOTHIC MAGAZINE
"Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles… and the kinkiest fans!"
—Christopher Moore
ALSO PERFORMING:
MYKLE HANSEN
author of "Help! A Bear is Eating Me!" and "Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet."
"Brilliantly crafted, over-the-top satire."
—THE DREAM PEOPLE
CAMERON PIERCE
author of "Ass Goblins of Auschwitz" and "Lost in Cat Brain Land."
"Pierce is one of the weirdest, most imaginative writers around. Toxie-approved!"
—Lloyd Kaufman
JEFF BURK
author of "Shatnerquake" and "Super Giant Monster Time!"
"Like Lloyd Kaufman and Sam Raimi's mutant offspring."
—Wil Wheaton
HOSTED BY:
JEREMY ROBERT JOHNSON
author of "Angel Dust Apocalypse" and "Extinction Journals."
"A dazzling writer."
—Chuck Palahniuk
JUNE 6th
8 pm to 10 pm
FREE
21 + only
THE LOVECRAFT BAR
421 SE Grand
Portland, OR 97214
May 23, 2011
Free books for some, free abortions for others!
Head over to Bizarro Central and celebrate author Cameron Pierce's birthday by downloading his new collection "Abortion Arcade" and Bradley Sand's "Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You."
"Today, May 23rd, Abortion Arcade will be made available for free download. May 23rd also happens to be my twenty-third birthday. The book will remain available for free through the end of the month.
I am doing this for the poor people who cannot afford abortions, which they certainly, undoubtedly desire. Some of these poor pregnant people are so poor and so pregnant that they cannot even afford to buy my books. They must sit, bored out of their minds, waiting long, sleepless, pregnant hours, suffering the dual pain of being pregnant and not having my books to read.
If there's one thing I want for my birthday, it's to make all of the poor pregnant people 100% happier and 100% less pregnant. So here I am with free abortions.
As a bonus, I've got Arnold Schwarzenegger on hand to give away free copies of Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You by Bradley Sands. Arnold Schwarzenegger gives two thumbs up to Rico Slade and Free Abortion Day.
Just remember, on May 23rd, this abortion is on me."
Click here for more and to download the books.
May 19, 2011
Andrew Goldfarb named Best One-Man Goth-Country Band of the Year by SF Weekly
"Goldfarb describes his sound as either a cross between David Bowie and Johnny Cash, or "a hoe-down on Mars." Also comic book artist and an occasional substitute teacher, the guy has made his life a continuing mission to keep this city weird — and that's one poison we're happy to swallow."
The Slow Poisoner's Official Website
May 18, 2011
Goth Star Trek Break
This video is from a Voltaire show that I went to. I requested this song. At when 0:23 when he's talking about the meeting the only trekkie with a mohawk, he's talking about me.
May 17, 2011
New Rose the 3-D Bizarro Musical videos
You've seen the trailer for John Skipp's Rose the 3-D Bizarro Zombie Musical. Right? If not here it is:
Skipp has released two new clips from Rose's TV show. They're filled with zombie puppet awesomeness. Check them out:
