Tom Tuohy's Blog, page 2

Servant Leadership

The highest type of ruler is one of whose existence the people are barely aware. Next comes one whom they love and praise. Next comes one whom they fear. Next comes one whom they despise and defy.

The Sage is self-effacing and scanty of words. When his task is accomplished and things have been completed, all the people say, ‘We ourselves have achieved it!

 Tao Te Ching, attributed to Lao-Tzu

 

Recently I was asked, as founder of Dreams for Kids, to reflect upon my 25 years with the organization and to list 10 principles of leadership.

There has been a lot written about leadership, and you do not have to look far to find a course, article or book on the subject. When I think of the most powerful and empowering form of leadership, servant leadership immediately comes to mind. A servant leader places the needs of others first and helps people develop to their maximum potential. I believe that every person is capable of being such a leader. And leadership from all of us has never been more important.

My take on the 10 most important principles of leadership:

Courage: It all begins with courage. We need the courage to follow a path that others may not see or even resist. We must be courageous in the face of obstacles such as the opinion of others. The fact is nothing is more important then our true path and leading others to their own.
Service: In the words of the Jewish leader Hillel, the Elder, “…If Only for Myself, Who Am I? If Not Now When?”  We need each other now more than ever before. My mentors taught me the invaluable lesson of the Circle of Giving and I quote Sir Wilfred T Grenfell in my book, Dreams for Kids, Changing the World…One Person at a Time, ” The service we render others is the rent we pay for our room on this earth.” Service is the essence of a fulfilled life. A servant leader is a leader among leaders.
Perseverance: There is something intrinsically fundamental about not giving up. As the tide goes out, it is certain to come in once more. It is in our darkest days that we must persevere in order to see the light once again.
Character: Compromise of our ideals and values steal a part of our soul that we never get back. Be who you are and give what you have. Integrity is everything.
Empathy: Until we walk in another’s shoes and on their path we cannot know what they are enduring. Be understanding. Be gracious.
Patience: What we want and what we need may not be ready when we want it. Greatness comes to those who are willing to wait.
Acceptance: The essence of a great leader is one who does not see others and the world through his or her own lens, but rather through the lens of understanding, tolerance and possibility.
Humor: The fact is life is meant to be fun. Laugh more, frown less. Let go of the serious and enjoy this ride. People will notice. And they will follow.
Work: Nothing of substance is built in a day. Get up early, work late. Set an example that you will work harder and longer and be willing to be the last one standing.
Vision: You must be willing to see what does not exist and believe in it with all your heart. And this takes a combination of all of the above.

As I continue to learn and to grow, it is increasingly clear that we all are capable of being a leader. We all have what it takes. But do we have the courage to see these qualities in ourselves? And will we give ourselves the permission to believe it and to act?

Are you ready to take the leap?

Ebola! The Crisis Flavor of The Month

The spell the sensationalist media and pandering politicians have the American public under is bewildering. No matter the level of education or common sense a person possesses the issue of the day continues to be successfully manipulated. And sadly they win big every time.

Ebola? Come on. In Africa it is an issue. A serious issue. And it has become a global responsibility. But then again so is poverty. But that’s a discussion for another day. Ebola is a global responsibility because people are dying in a region ill equipped to handle this true crisis and because it threatens the welfare of the world. Yet the U.S. public’s containment strategy would be to simply isolate “those people.” Why must we be threatened personally to care? Even if we do not care about the humanity issue, let’s stretch our minds to realize that a true crisis in any region of the world has global economic consequences that effect every one of us. Then again, there is that age old poverty issue we can’t seem to wrap our minds around that costs us trillions of dollars, every single year. And far from contained, it simply grows each year.

Now, for that Ebola “crisis” in the U.S. Really??  We have 3 confirmed Ebola cases in the U.S. 3! One handled a dead body and the other two handled his dead body. And it is well documented that the direct exchange of bodily fluids is the only method of transmission. Yet, the media makes it the lead story of the day, adds the dramatic music and voice-overs, and drags out the talking heads that will validate and help build their narrative and ratings by either scaring or disgusting the viewing public, because that’s what we watch. That’s what we buy. And after that guaranteed immediate success, the media whips it into a mass hysteria making machine. P.T. Barnum would be proud.

Then enter the soulless politicians. Always forgetting they were elected to serve our best interests. Those outside the coveted White House attack and the party inside responds by over reacting, over responding, over spending and over press conferencing. Just so we can feel better. For being so damn stupid.

If they didn’t make hospital protocol mistakes in Dallas not a single person in this country would have died from Ebola at this point, including the guy the same hospital killed by it’s malpractice when he first showed up in it’s ER. And the only other two confirmed Ebola cases come from the same negligent hospital in yet another protocol fail. But let’s ground the plane he flew in on and track down all the people he came in contact with. (all of whom, as of today have been cleared – even his fiancee and immediate family who lived, ate, bathed, and slept with him.) Even though not a single person in that first or second emergency room visit that he coughed and sneezed on when he could barely stand up had any chance of getting Ebola. And didn’t. But let’s close the borders. Ban the flights from Africa. Call in the Trumps. Check the temperature of every passenger from East Africa! – when they get off the flights. Like that would protect us under this hysteria nonsense theory. Even when we know that any “exposed” passenger on the Petri dish that is one of our non fresh air circulating airplanes wouldn’t get a fever for days.

This is all so stupid it is mind boggling. But on the news last night they report the sales of Hazmet suits and “life saving kits” have skyrocketed. Are you kidding me?? They win again. How many people knew what a Hazmet suit was before two weeks ago? Now they are going to sit in their house wearing one? Because one person died?? In Dallas.

Will there be more cases? Possibly. And maybe even the transmission evidence might be a bit more obscure. And the sensationalist batch will be whipped up even further. But now that we are ready for Armageddon it all will be contained. And in three weeks this will be over. And somehow we won’t be the least bit embarrassed by any of it.

We will move on to stocking our basements with water and non perishables because the clocks changed or getting over vaccinated for the devastating, population wiping out, Bird Flu. The dreaded H1N1 “Pandemic! – we even use a scary name for it – has only infected a few hundred people. Ever. And most have been chicken workers. But the drug companies cash in their billions. And the government creates multi billion dollar initiatives, in partnership with drug companies, with our money, as we spend billions more on our own “life saving” protection measures. For nothing.

When will we grow up?

Ferguson: 9 Steps Towards Common Ground

As the conversation continues about Ferguson, something good might very well come of a very bad situation. However, only if fact based, rational discussion is had. It would help if facts are not distorted to fit a preconceived viewpoint, and when facts are presented, they are not ignored or rationalized to fit that preconceived view. And it would really help if we don’t choose the wrong case at the right time for our discussion. Arguing about a case with conflicting eyewitness testimony and criminal behavior only detracts from the underlying issue. And solves nothing. Let’s keep our eye on the ball.

Let’s try seeking to first understand, rather than to be understood. The ignorance and deep implications of racism would take a much longer treatise, but it would help if we simply get out of our own heads and listen to each other.The following first steps can be a guide to where we begin a difficult journey:

1. If you are not black, you do not know what it is like to be black. Therefore someone who is not black has no right to suggest they even remotely understand what is like to live as a black person. The same is true for a white person. Removing ourselves from victemhood and from judgment is painful, but it is necessary. Racism is real. And it cuts both ways.

2. No person in a position of authority, whether they be the police, TSA, customs, security, act, has the right to be a jerk. If you are a jerk, you make every situation worse.  It can’t be a pleasant way to be for you, and it isn’t pleasant for the person you are dealing with. The job should be about service and treating people not just decently, but like you actually care about them. If you don’t care, find another job. Everyone wins.

3. If someone in a position of authority asks you a question, answer it. If they ask you for identification, provide it. You just might fit the characteristics of someone who has committed a crime. No matter who you are. If you have been profiled or harassed, deal with it later. If you don’t cooperate, you will always make the situation worse.

4. Understand that law enforcement deals with bad guys frequently. Being the police is not easy. Dealing with bad guys requires acting a certain way towards them. It may not look pleasant, because it’s not. Don’t handcuff the police. Let them do their job so that the good guys are safe.  And respect goes both ways. Without one, there is no hope for the other. Without mutual respect, nothing changes.

5. Let’s stop circling the wagons. Only discussing race related issues with our own race advances nothing. Let’s have open minded, judgment free discussions with diverse people so that we all might learn and elevate our lives and society.

6. If you are in the media, stop sensationalizing. Be responsible. Don’t report your version of the facts to fuel negativity. Or worse. The fact that people buy it is a very poor reason to do it. You must be better than appealing to peoples baser instincts. You must be part of the solution or you are part of the problem.

7. If you are only in it for yourself, get out. Whether it be a meeting, rally, press conference, or a conversation, it isn’t about you. If your presence or your words are divisive and do not advance the ultimate objective of improving the situation for both sides, you are not welcome.

8. Don’t be a bigot. It’s really not that hard. And it is so much more rewarding.

9. Give. Be gracious, generous, helpful, polite and cooperative, no matter who you are, no matter where you are.   Imagine if we all just practiced this one.

The post Ferguson: 9 Steps Towards Common Ground appeared first on Tom Tuohy.

FERGUSON: 9 STEPS TOWARDS COMMON GROUND

As the conversation continues about Ferguson, something good might very well come of a very bad situation. However, only if fact based, rational discussion is had. It would help if facts are not distorted to fit a preconceived viewpoint, and when facts are presented, they are not ignored or rationalized to fit that preconceived view. And it would really help if we don’t choose the wrong case at the right time for our discussion. Arguing about a case with conflicting eyewitness testimony and criminal behavior only detracts from the underlying issue. And solves nothing. Let’s keep our eye on the ball.

Let’s try seeking to first understand, rather than to be understood. The ignorance and deep implications of racism would take a much longer treatise, but it would help if we simply get out of our own heads and listen to each other.The following first steps can be a guide to where we begin a difficult journey:

1. If you are not black, you do not know what it is like to be black. Therefore someone who is not black has no right to suggest they even remotely understand what is like to live as a black person. The same is true for a white person. Removing ourselves from victemhood and from judgment is painful, but it is necessary. Racism is real. And it cuts both ways.

2. No person in a position of authority, whether they be the police, TSA, customs, security, act, has the right to be a jerk. If you are a jerk, you make every situation worse.  It can’t be a pleasant way to be for you, and it isn’t pleasant for the person you are dealing with. The job should be about service and treating people not just decently, but like you actually care about them. If you don’t care, find another job. Everyone wins.

3. If someone in a position of authority asks you a question, answer it. If they ask you for identification, provide it. You just might fit the characteristics of someone who has committed a crime. No matter who you are. If you have been profiled or harassed, deal with it later. If you don’t cooperate, you will always make the situation worse.

4. Understand that law enforcement deals with bad guys frequently. Being the police is not easy. Dealing with bad guys requires acting a certain way towards them. It may not look pleasant, because it’s not. Don’t handcuff the police. Let them do their job so that the good guys are safe.  And respect goes both ways. Without one, there is no hope for the other. Without mutual respect, nothing changes.

5. Let’s stop circling the wagons. Only discussing race related issues with our own race advances nothing. Let’s have open minded, judgment free discussions with diverse people so that we all might learn and elevate our lives and society.

6. If you are in the media, stop sensationalizing. Be responsible. Don’t report your version of the facts to fuel negativity. Or worse. The fact that people buy it is a very poor reason to do it. You must be better than appealing to peoples baser instincts. You must be part of the solution or you are part of the problem.

7. If you are only in it for yourself, get out. Whether it be a meeting, rally, press conference, or a conversation, it isn’t about you. If your presence or your words are divisive and do not advance the ultimate objective of improving the situation for both sides, you are not welcome.

8. Don’t be a bigot. It’s really not that hard. And it is so much more rewarding.

9. Give. Be gracious, generous, helpful, polite and cooperative, no matter who you are, no matter where you are.   Imagine if we all just practiced this one.

I Never Looked At It That Way…Thank You

When was the last time you read that in a comment section of a blog post, news article or on Facebook?

Today, it never happens.  It is the most maddening aspect of our current public conversations.  Our discussions have devolved into, “I’m right, you’re wrong. Now shut up.” People show up already listening – to the voices in their head.  Those voices are the opinions and judgments made from the past.  They are formed from experiences that are now irrelevant. We all do it. Instead of being completely clear minded, available to read or to listen to words or to experience a person in a way that could teach us and guide us towards a more powerful existence, we show up listening to old voices that cut off the very possibility of being different, being better and being more evolved.

What is mystifying about this way of being is that we live in a time that is changing by the moment. Maybe that is it. Are we ruled by our fear? Are we resisting change? Most people have always resisted change. It means the unknown.  Giving in to change means something new. There is no security, no safety. You will never catch a young child being this way. We are all born with curiosity and with complete listening. We want to learn, we want to explore, we crave uncharted waters and are fascinated by everything that is new. If we are lucky, we never lose that way of being. If we are blessed we live our entire lives with a sense of curiosity and of wonder. And every moment we grow and we evolve.

Instead the majority of people are stuck. They are rooted in what they already know, resisting the wonder and the evolution of possibility.  And with that comes judgment born of ignorance, which breeds bias, prejudice and even hatred.

When we choose to be this way, we have failed our greater responsibility – to the children and  youth of our time.  We have become an example and not a good one.

Absent some biological explanation, do you think the killer in Charleston, South Carolina was born that way?  Every adult in his young life had a responsibility to him and, yes, they bear some of the responsibility for his actions today.  Sound harsh? It isn’t. We are responsible for our actions and we are just as responsible for the influence we have on children. If we show up and instill our hard held beliefs on children, instead sharing a sense of what is possible, then we have failed our responsibility. If we reinforce bigotry, hatred, and judgment we are guilty of gross irresponsibility or worse.

I read there was a moment in that church when he almost did not go through with it because of how nicely he was treated when he walked in the door. For a fleeting moment, he was fully present.  And then he reverted back to the past and to his ingrained views. Where did he learn that?  He wasn’t born that way. None of us are.

Let’s do ourselves and every person in our world a favor. Let’s show up every moment, fully present. Ready to learn. Prepared to evolve. And to be grateful for learning to look at something or someone in a different light.

The post I Never Looked At It That Way…Thank You appeared first on TOM TUOHY.

I NEVER LOOKED AT IT THAT WAY…THANKYOU

When was the last time you read that in a comment section of a blog post, news article or on Facebook?

Today, it never happens.  It is the most maddening aspect of our current public conversations.  Our discussions have devolved into, “I’m right, you’re wrong. Now shut up.” People show up already listening – to the voices in their head.  Those voices are the opinions and judgments made from the past.  They are formed from experiences that are now irrelevant. We all do it. Instead of being completely clear minded, available to read or to listen to words or to experience a person in a way that could teach us and guide us towards a more powerful existence, we show up listening to old voices that cut off the very possibility of being different, being better and being more evolved.

What is mystifying about this way of being is that we live in a time that is changing by the moment. Maybe that is it. Are we ruled by our fear? Are we resisting change? Most people have always resisted change. It means the unknown.  Giving in to change means something new. There is no security, no safety. You will never catch a young child being this way. We are all born with curiosity and with complete listening. We want to learn, we want to explore, we crave uncharted waters and are fascinated by everything that is new. If we are lucky, we never lose that way of being. If we are blessed we live our entire lives with a sense of curiosity and of wonder. And every moment we grow and we evolve.

Instead the majority of people are stuck. They are rooted in what they already know, resisting the wonder and the evolution of possibility.  And with that comes judgment born of ignorance, which breeds bias, prejudice and even hatred.

When we choose to be this way, we have failed our greater responsibility – to the children and  youth of our time.  We have become an example and not a good one.

Absent some biological explanation, do you think the killer in Charleston, South Carolina was born that way?  Every adult in his young life had a responsibility to him and, yes, they bear some of the responsibility for his actions today.  Sound harsh? It isn’t. We are responsible for our actions and we are just as responsible for the influence we have on children. If we show up and instill our hard held beliefs on children, instead sharing a sense of what is possible, then we have failed our responsibility. If we reinforce bigotry, hatred, and judgment we are guilty of gross irresponsibility or worse.

I read there was a moment in that church when he almost did not go through with it because of how nicely he was treated when he walked in the door. For a fleeting moment, he was fully present.  And then he reverted back to the past and to his ingrained views. Where did he learn that?  He wasn’t born that way. None of us are.

Let’s do ourselves and every person in our world a favor. Let’s show up every moment, fully present. Ready to learn. Prepared to evolve. And to be grateful for learning to look at something or someone in a different light.

Coming Alive

Are you alive? If you are reading this I know you have a pulse. But are you fully alive?

I have reflected on that question often and it is involved in the working title of my next book.  The question challenges me. And it haunts me.

So often we sleep walk through life. Maybe just for an hour, or a day, or maybe even far longer. We convince ourselves that this is normal, or that we owe it to ourselves. The reality is the only thing we owe to ourselves, to every person in our life and to the time in which we live is to be fully alive, every waking moment.

It begins with a realization and it continues with good habits. The realization is that this very moment is a gift. We are here. There will never be another moment like this again. And there might not be another moment at all. We have a finite amount of time here on this earth. Yet, often we live as if our lives are infinite. As if we are guaranteed another moment, another day, another year.  We know better. We have all lost someone. And it was always too soon.  We each have suffered adversity. Some more than others. But we are not our circumstances.

I am challenged to awake each day with gratitude and with renewed commitment to be full on. And I am haunted by the days and the moments I have failed my obligation. Then I remind myself, those haunting thoughts are not real, and  the only reality that exists is this very moment. I am the cause of my life, and my present is not because of anything in the past. That is a story that I cannot tell myself and let it steal the gift of this moment from which I can create anything I want. Something powerful, life affirming and lasting.

What habits do you use to remind yourself of how fortunate you are?  Waking up every day and being thankful is mine.  Breathing, meditating, smiling. 3 minutes to think of 3 things that I am grateful for and 3 minutes to commit to 3 things I want to accomplish that day.The power of 3. When I stray off course during the day, I try to return to the same 3 things – breathing, meditating, smiling. It is hard to be distracted when you do that. A clear mind, deep breathing and a smile can conquer just about anything.

We live in challenging and ever changing times. The people I admire are the ones who are completely present. Unfazed by what has happened in the past, and encouraged by all that can be created this moment.

Let’s take the ultimate challenge. Right now, let’s come alive. Fully and unapologetically alive.  Grateful, generous, loving, hopeful.

With a smile, let’s recognize this gift and create something special.

The post Coming Alive appeared first on TOM TUOHY.

COMING ALIVE

Are you alive? If you are reading this I know you have a pulse. But are you fully alive?

I have reflected on that question often and it is involved in the working title of my next book.  The question challenges me. And it haunts me.

So often we sleep walk through life. Maybe just for an hour, or a day, or maybe even far longer. We convince ourselves that this is normal, or that we owe it to ourselves. The reality is the only thing we owe to ourselves, to every person in our life and to the time in which we live is to be fully alive, every waking moment.

It begins with a realization and it continues with good habits. The realization is that this very moment is a gift. We are here. There will never be another moment like this again. And there might not be another moment at all. We have a finite amount of time here on this earth. Yet, often we live as if our lives are infinite. As if we are guaranteed another moment, another day, another year.  We know better. We have all lost someone. And it was always too soon.  We each have suffered adversity. Some more than others. But we are not our circumstances.

I am challenged to awake each day with gratitude and with renewed commitment to be full on. And I am haunted by the days and the moments I have failed my obligation. Then I remind myself, those haunting thoughts are not real, and  the only reality that exists is this very moment. I am the cause of my life, and my present is not because of anything in the past. That is a story that I cannot tell myself and let it steal the gift of this moment from which I can create anything I want. Something powerful, life affirming and lasting.

What habits do you use to remind yourself of how fortunate you are?  Waking up every day and being thankful is mine.  Breathing, meditating, smiling. 3 minutes to think of 3 things that I am grateful for and 3 minutes to commit to 3 things I want to accomplish that day.The power of 3. When I stray off course during the day, I try to return to the same 3 things – breathing, meditating, smiling. It is hard to be distracted when you do that. A clear mind, deep breathing and a smile can conquer just about anything.

We live in challenging and ever changing times. The people I admire are the ones who are completely present. Unfazed by what has happened in the past, and encouraged by all that can be created this moment.

Let’s take the ultimate challenge. Right now, let’s come alive. Fully and unapologetically alive.  Grateful, generous, loving, hopeful.

With a smile, let’s recognize this gift and create something special.

Paris…Now What? Fear or Courage?

We are driven by one of two principal forces, courage or fear.

It is during times of great challenge that our true character is revealed. Whether we are proud or ashamed of the outcome of that test is not important. The question is – what will we do next?

As each day passes we will hear less about Paris and of the horrific events of 11/13/15.

When the French flags on our avatars are replaced, will we also replace our compassion? Will our initial concern fade into indifference? Will we retreat into our own insulated world? Will we respond to the great challenges of our time with the courage to do what we must? Or will our fear determine our actions?

I have learned more about ISIS in the last 5 days than I knew since they began in the early days of the Iraq occupation. Who they are, how they came into being, what their actual goal is and what it will take to defeat them. It stands to reason I could not comment on ISIS, if I knew little about them. For a comprehensive understanding, I highly recommend  setting aside 20 minutes to read this article. Without a clear understanding of the enemy, it defies common sense to comment on what should be done to defeat them.That opinion has no basis.There is no context and it is simply ignorant.

It is also ignorance, born of fear, that drives bigotry. We see it time and time again, and now it rears its ugly head ever more fiercely. It is threatening our way of life and our future.

The U.S. has the most comprehensive refugee settlement process in the world. Since 9/11, of the 784,000 refugees settled in the United States, 3 have been arrested for terrorist related changes, none planned in the U.S. Only .000004% of all settled refugees posed a threat to anyone.

According to the Triangle Center for Terrorism and National Security, since 9/11, 180,000 Americans have been murdered. 33 of them were killed by Muslims. That is .00002% of all U.S. murders. And if you break it down to murders specifically identified as U.S. terrorist attacks, from 1970 to 2012, 60 of a total of 2,400 terrorist acts on U.S. soil were carried out by Muslims. Less than 2.5%; National Consortium for the Study of Terrorism and Responses to Terrorism (START.)

Yet in the United States, from 1970 to 2011, there were  twice as many Jewish acts of terrorism than Islamic. Many of the most horrific acts of violence in U.S. and European history have been committed by Christians, many directly attributed to Christian influences. Does this mean that Christianity, Islam and Judaism are violent? Of course not. It means that radical people committed acts of terrorism based on their religious passions and self serving application of scripture in books that were written thousands of years ago.

Religion has been used by good and evil people since it was created. Most of the wars in world history have been fought over religion. Don’t paint the good people of any faith with the same brush you paint  terrorists. Don’t denigrate religion for the radicals. Resist fear based judgment. Or we all lose.

People who burn black churches, bomb abortion clinics, blow up government buildings, march with the KKK, advocate stoning gays and those who blow up airplanes, shoot up restaurants and bomb concert venues – are all terrorists. Whether they hide behind the white hood of the KKK or the black hood of ISIS, they are no different. Whether they wear a clerics robe or camouflage pants, they are one and the same. Every one of them has hijacked their religion for evil.

Make no mistake, the ranks of the radicals in every faith is growing. And this is where our most important work must be done. We must know why they become radicalized and we must work to defeat the forces that cause it. Each of us must be part of the solution, or we are part of the problem.

Terrorists want to destroy our way of life and our principles. They want us to sacrifice freedom for security, immigration for deportation, acceptance for intolerance, love for hatred, forgiveness for vengeance.They work to instill fear and to stir bigotry, to reject refugees and create division between people. It is the core of their strategy. No matter who they are and what faith they hide behind.

Our greatest enemy is our fear. If we allow reckless political and media driven narratives to fuel our base instincts and if we lose sight of our moral compass, at home and around the world, there will be no turning back. We will be defeated by the forces against us and by those within us.

The collateral damage will continue to grow with our distraction, as we ignore the consequences and causes of the staggering challenges we face at home. 99.99% of U.S. violence is committed by Americans against Americans. Our children are dying in our streets. Where is this outrage?

We stand at the precipice of an uncertain future. Our actions will have greater importance than ever before. How we choose to act will make all the difference in the world.

If you wonder whether you are capable of what it takes, whether in the most trying times you will be able to summon the courage to fill your heart with enough love so there is no room for hate and enough wisdom that ignorance will have no place, or if you are consumed by fear or doubt that you will do what is right at the right time, than please consider the words of a Frenchman whose wife was killed in Paris:

“… I will not give you the gift of hating you. You have obviously sought it but responding to hatred with anger would be to give in to the same ignorance that that has made you what you are. You want me to be afraid, to cast a mistrustful eye on my fellow citizens, to sacrifice my freedom for security…If the God for whom you kill so blindly made us in His image, each bullet in my wife’s body would have been a wound in His heart…We are only two, my son and I, but we are more powerful than all the world’s armies… You will not have his hatred either. Every day of his life this little boy will insult you with his happiness and freedom.”  – ANTOINE LEIRIS

Who among us would not wish to possess the courage to be the father this man has chosen to be?

Let us not forget who we are. Resist throwing away our long held principles for the expediency of vengeance and rejection of those who suffer. We cannot allow fear to cloud our vision of those who do not look like us. We must not arrive home in our country, our community, or our heart and selfishly declare that it is ours alone and no one else is invited in. If we do, our enemies win.

Our challenges are great. May we have the courage to choose to be unified, judgment free, and hopeful.

There is no other rational choice.

The post Paris…Now What? Fear or Courage? appeared first on TOM TUOHY.

PARIS…NOW WHAT? FEAR OR COURAGE?

We are driven by one of two principal forces, courage or fear.

It is during times of great challenge that our true character is revealed. Whether we are proud or ashamed of the outcome of that test is not important. The question is – what will we do next?

As each day passes we will hear less about Paris and of the horrific events of 11/13/15.

When the French flags on our avatars are replaced, will we also replace our compassion? Will our initial concern fade into indifference? Will we retreat into our own insulated world? Will we respond to the great challenges of our time with the courage to do what we must? Or will our fear determine our actions?

I have learned more about ISIS in the last 5 days than I knew since they began in the early days of the Iraq occupation. Who they are, how they came into being, what their actual goal is and what it will take to defeat them. It stands to reason I could not comment on ISIS, if I knew little about them. For a comprehensive understanding, I highly recommend  setting aside 20 minutes to read this article. Without a clear understanding of the enemy, it defies common sense to comment on what should be done to defeat them.That opinion has no basis.There is no context and it is simply ignorant.

It is also ignorance, born of fear, that drives bigotry. We see it time and time again, and now it rears its ugly head ever more fiercely. It is threatening our way of life and our future.

The U.S. has the most comprehensive refugee settlement process in the world. Since 9/11, of the 784,000 refugees settled in the United States, 3 have been arrested for terrorist related changes, none planned in the U.S. Only .000004% of all settled refugees posed a threat to anyone.

According to the Triangle Center for Terrorism and National Security, since 9/11, 180,000 Americans have been murdered. 33 of them were killed by Muslims. That is .00002% of all U.S. murders. And if you break it down to murders specifically identified as U.S. terrorist attacks, from 1970 to 2012, 60 of a total of 2,400 terrorist acts on U.S. soil were carried out by Muslims. Less than 2.5%; National Consortium for the Study of Terrorism and Responses to Terrorism (START.)

Yet in the United States, from 1970 to 2011, there were  twice as many Jewish acts of terrorism than Islamic. Many of the most horrific acts of violence in U.S. and European history have been committed by Christians, many directly attributed to Christian influences. Does this mean that Christianity, Islam and Judaism are violent? Of course not. It means that radical people committed acts of terrorism based on their religious passions and self serving application of scripture in books that were written thousands of years ago.

Religion has been used by good and evil people since it was created. Most of the wars in world history have been fought over religion. Don’t paint the good people of any faith with the same brush you paint  terrorists. Don’t denigrate religion for the radicals. Resist fear based judgment. Or we all lose.

People who burn black churches, bomb abortion clinics, blow up government buildings, march with the KKK, advocate stoning gays and those who blow up airplanes, shoot up restaurants and bomb concert venues – are all terrorists. Whether they hide behind the white hood of the KKK or the black hood of ISIS, they are no different. Whether they wear a clerics robe or camouflage pants, they are one and the same. Every one of them has hijacked their religion for evil.

Make no mistake, the ranks of the radicals in every faith is growing. And this is where our most important work must be done. We must know why they become radicalized and we must work to defeat the forces that cause it. Each of us must be part of the solution, or we are part of the problem.

Terrorists want to destroy our way of life and our principles. They want us to sacrifice freedom for security, immigration for deportation, acceptance for intolerance, love for hatred, forgiveness for vengeance.They work to instill fear and to stir bigotry, to reject refugees and create division between people. It is the core of their strategy. No matter who they are and what faith they hide behind.

Our greatest enemy is our fear. If we allow reckless political and media driven narratives to fuel our base instincts and if we lose sight of our moral compass, at home and around the world, there will be no turning back. We will be defeated by the forces against us and by those within us.

The collateral damage will continue to grow with our distraction, as we ignore the consequences and causes of the staggering challenges we face at home. 99.99% of U.S. violence is committed by Americans against Americans. Our children are dying in our streets. Where is this outrage?

We stand at the precipice of an uncertain future. Our actions will have greater importance than ever before. How we choose to act will make all the difference in the world.

If you wonder whether you are capable of what it takes, whether in the most trying times you will be able to summon the courage to fill your heart with enough love so there is no room for hate and enough wisdom that ignorance will have no place, or if you are consumed by fear or doubt that you will do what is right at the right time, than please consider the words of a Frenchman whose wife was killed in Paris:

“… I will not give you the gift of hating you. You have obviously sought it but responding to hatred with anger would be to give in to the same ignorance that that has made you what you are. You want me to be afraid, to cast a mistrustful eye on my fellow citizens, to sacrifice my freedom for security…If the God for whom you kill so blindly made us in His image, each bullet in my wife’s body would have been a wound in His heart…We are only two, my son and I, but we are more powerful than all the world’s armies… You will not have his hatred either. Every day of his life this little boy will insult you with his happiness and freedom.”  – ANTOINE LEIRIS

Who among us would not wish to possess the courage to be the father this man has chosen to be?

Let us not forget who we are. Resist throwing away our long held principles for the expediency of vengeance and rejection of those who suffer. We cannot allow fear to cloud our vision of those who do not look like us. We must not arrive home in our country, our community, or our heart and selfishly declare that it is ours alone and no one else is invited in. If we do, our enemies win.

Our challenges are great. May we have the courage to choose to be unified, judgment free, and hopeful.

There is no other rational choice.