Michael Rubens's Blog, page 3
July 21, 2013
Another Great Spam! Bless You, Blessing Ibrahim!
Clearly, the ladies love me:
Hello Dear ..,
How are you?
My name is blessing. i am a young lady and I would like to add you as my friend and to establish a long lasting relationship with you.You are free to email me back via my email address? blessingibrahim342@yahoo.ca ?please If you are interested in knowing more about me OK? so I can send you my picture and tell you more about me. I’ll be waiting to hear from you with love, Yours lovely, blessing.
kiss____¶¶¶¶¶__AM___¶¶¶¶¶ IN
_____¶¶■޶¶¶¶¶Ž■޶¶¶¶¶■޶¶-
____¶¶■Ž█████޶Ž████Ž- ¶¶
___¶¶■Ž███████Ž█████- Ž■ ¶¶
___¶¶■Ž████████████- Ž■ ¶¶
____¶¶■Ž███████████Ž- ¶¶
_____¶¶■Ž█████████Ž■ ¶¶
_______¶¶■Ž██████Ž■ ¶¶
_________¶¶■Ž███Ž■ ¶¶ LOVE
__________¶¶■Ž`█Ž■ ¶¶
___________¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶
July 17, 2013
AAAAAIIIEEEE!!!!
Sorry. Sorry for screaming. It’s just that a massive cockroach leaped out when I reached into the laundry basket, and — AAAAAIIIEEEE!!! Sorry. That was just a follow-up scream due to residual horror. It won’t happen ag–AAIIIIIIEEEE!!!! Sorry. Really sorry….
July 12, 2013
Good Fun From a Safe Distance
“I’m lazy, and I’m a coward, but I’ll do pretty much anything if a girl is watching.”
That’s the first line of my next book, which I finally feel comfortable talking about because I just turned in the first draft and the initial feedback from the publisher is that it’s not a total disaster.
It’s called Good Fun From a Safe Distance.
I know, I know — you’re probably overwhelmed with anticipation. A lot of the plot has to do with music, so until the book comes out please enjoy the fancy-schmancy Spotify playlist I’ve been creating (same name as the book) — check it out, because it includes a great song by the fantastic Paul Brill!
June 22, 2013
Me Me Me
I am the author of , which Stephen Colbert called “A science fiction book your grandmother will love — if she’s a lustful, violent lady.” My second novel, Sons of the 613, was selected by Kirkus Reviews, YALSA, and Tablet Magazine as one of the best books of the year, and received a rare perfect 10 from VOYA. I’m currently working on my third novel, Good Fun From a Safe Distance.
A Bunch of Smart Young Adults
I got this great request from Ellen Snoeyenbos, the YA librarian at the Duxbury Free Library in Duxbury, MA: she contacted me and told me that she had a reading group with a bunch of 14-17 year-olds and that they had been reading Sons of the 613, and asked if I’d like to do a Skype chat with them. Which we did last night, and it was fantastic fun — an hour-long free-form discussion about the book, life, growing up, writing, fathers who force you to spend the night in a tree — all sorts of things, with a group of teenagers who were far more insightful, intelligent and informed than I ever was at that age. I came away feeling like I’d learned far more than they had.
Now, in case any of you from the Duxbury group are reading this, I’d like to reiterate my stance regarding a certain question that was raised: Batman is a fantastic character. He is a true (if complicated) hero, and worthy of our respect and admiration. He is badass. It in no way lessens his merits or contributions to admit the following, which I believe can be categorized as incontrovertible fact: despite his strength, courage, cunning and variety of devices, Batman is still a mortal human being. He is therefore not a match for Superman, any more than an elite Olympic athlete would be a match for a god. Again, I’m not talking about Batman’s worth as a personage or as a character — he is, arguably, a more interesting and compelling character than Superman. But let’s be honest. If it came time to knuckle up, Superman would hand Batman his head.
May 14, 2013
Zut Alors! Me on Canadian TV!
Watch me pull off the neat trick of riding a bike through Central Park while simultaneously talking out of my ass! I was interviewed for a Canadian program about NYC called Ports d’attache / Waterfront Cities, and we rode around the park, French subtitles preceding us everywhere we went. Please note that the opinions I provide are solely those of a semi-panicked person who is sort of dumb. I come in at 14:30.
April 23, 2013
World Book Night / Creative Exchange With Friend
An evening of exchanges.
My friend Steve Wilkinson is an artist who is often looking for people willing to sit still while he sketches; I have to do a lot of sitting still to get my writing done. Hence our new project, which involves me sitting still and writing while Steve sketches me:
On my way over to his apartment I was approached by a young woman who asked if she could give me a book. Oh, fantastic! Jesus literature! My fav! No? Ah, not Jesus literature. Phew. It turns out that it’s World Book Night, and she was walking around with a box of books to hand out to people. Her name was Theresa and she was very pleasant:
She gave me a copy of City of Thieves by David Benioff, and it looks awesome, and also like it doesn’t really need my help in terms of promoting it. I, in turn, happened to have a copy of Sons of the 613 that was intended for someone else, but instead I pulled it out of my backpack (brief but vaguely panicked expression from her) and pressed into her hands (frozen but obviously relieved smile). Thank you for the book, Theresa, and for not running away! I hope you enjoy Sons, or at least give it to someone who will!
Don’t I Get an Invite?
I’m sure everyone is already talking about this, but a professor will apparently be discussing my second book during a presentation at the Cultural Minorities in Children’s Literature and Verbal Culture Conference in Rekjavik. I HAVE ARRIVED.
February 17, 2013
Fantastic Spam
Possibly my favorite spam email I’ve ever received. Please note the enthusiastic self-description — not only cheerful and kind, but “fluffy” as well. I need more fluffy people in my life.
“You have drawn my attention to a site of acquaintances. I hope, as I shall like you. How I to you in a photo? The truth – pretty?

And as I cheerful, kind, sociable and fluffy! I like to go in for sports, read books, to listen to music. I love winter and summer. I do not love spring and slush.If I have interested you, with pleasure I shall tell about myself more in the following letter.”
February 7, 2013
YALSA Selects Sons of the 613 for its Best of 2013 List
Very happy to report that YALSA, the Youngstown Animatronic League Southern Agricultural…or no, wait, the Yack Auditory Looters…no, wait…
YALSA is the division of the American Library Association that reviews YA books. They were kind enough to put Sons of the 613 on their list of best YA books for 2013. Thank you, Yogurt Adhesive Lovers Salsa Association!