Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 93
April 2, 2023
3 Reasons Why You Should Never Send a Kid to a Dictionary to Look Up the Spelling of a Word
As an elementary school teacher for 24 years, I have been asked for the spelling of a word thousands, of times.
Every time I have been asked — without exception — I have given my student the spelling of the word. Happily.
Never in my life have I sent a student to the dictionary for the spelling of a word. As both a teacher and an author, I can’t imagine a worse decision on the part of a teacher, for three reasons:
1. The dictionary was not designed as a spelling resource. Dictionaries are primarily concerned with the definitions of words. While it’s true that if given enough time, a person can find the correct spelling of many words in the dictionary (but good luck with words like phone or psychiatry or mnemonic), it is hard to imagine a less efficient way of finding the correct spelling of a word.
2. There is no better way to discourage a writer than to bring the writing process to a grinding halt and send them to the dictionary every time a correct spelling is needed. It’s hard enough to get students excited about writing. As an author, it’s hard enough to find a flow. There are precious things that should be preserved at all costs. If a student is applying pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, every effort should be made to ensure that the writing process is as seamless and uninterrupted as possible. Sending a student to the dictionary is the absolute last thing a teacher should do.
3. Sending a student to the dictionary for correct spelling is just plain rude.
Imagine if you asked for the name of a street that we had just passed and I told you to check Google Maps.
Imagine if you asked me for the name of the fifth President of the United States and I told you to check Wikipedia.
Imagine if you asked me for the third digit of pi beyond the decimal and I told you to use a calculator.
You would think I was a jerk in each of these instances. Sending a student to the dictionary for the correct spelling of a word is similar but worse. It also interferes with the creative process.
The spelling of a word is a tiny bit of data. If you are in possession of that data and are asked for it, you should offer it immediately. I teach my students to bring a post-it note if they want me to provide a spelling so they don’t have to ask me again, but if they forget the post-it, I still tell them. To do otherwise is the kind of thing that a jerk would do.
I also tell them to forget correct spelling completely. Save it for the editing process. But some students (and writers) like to bring their draft as close to perfection as possible. I am one of these writers. A manuscript littered with spelling errors would make me crazy. So if a student cares enough to ask for the spelling of a word, I provide it without complaint.
You should too.
I may be a jerk at times, but never to a fellow writer in the midst of a story.
Meh
I asked a friend – via text message – if he wanted to join my standup partner and me for an upcoming open mic night.
He said he’d think about it.
“Just say yes,” I texted back, as any supportive friend would.
His response:
“You live by just say yes. I live by just say meh.”
Did you see the tragic irony in that response?
First, it’s funny.
Granted, if you look at the text messages, you’ll see that it took him more than 75 minutes to respond to my text, so perhaps he spent all that time brainstorming an amusing response. Workshopping possible retorts with his wife and kids. Calling friends for alts and punch-ups. Asking ChatGPT for jokes.
Still, even if he received outside help, he chose the funny response. He should be doing standup with us.
But no. He lives not by saying yes but by saying meh, which scares the hell out of me.
I wrote a book entitled “Someday Is Today” which, among many other things, argues that regret is a feeling that should be avoided at all costs.
Worse than trying and failing is never having tried at all.
Worse than trying and discovering that you don’t like something is never having tried it at all.
Yet so often in life, when faced with the opportunity to do something new or challenging or frightening, most people say no.
It’s awful.
Most people live small, stagnant lives, pushing off dreams to another day and avoiding the difficult, scary challenges laid down before them. Then, one day, they die, having done a fraction of what was possible.
The hard thing and the right thing are so often the same thing, yet people so often choose the path of least resistance. Like water running down a mountain, they choose to have little say over their destiny and often end up in a place of disappointment and regret.
Ask hospice workers what patients talk about in their final days of life, and regret is always near the top of the list.
Regret for the chances not taken. Opportunities never explored. Questions never asked. Dreams never chased.
Thankfully, my friend has a lot going for him. He says he prefers to say, “Meh,” but in truth, he’s still chasing a difficult and elusive dream, constantly confronted by impasse and disappointment, but relentlessly moving forward.
Doing more than most people I know.
Still, why not stand-up comedy, too? Just one night to see what it feels like to stand in front of a room of mostly jaded comics, trying to make them laugh while they try not to laugh lest you be perceived as the funniest person in the room.
It’s often brutal, but as I said, the hard thing and the right thing are often the same thing. When someone opens a door to something new, you should leap at the opportunity, hopeful that your world might become a little larger, a little wider, and a little more interesting as a result.
And if you don’t like what you see, simply take a step back and close the door, free from the regret of always wondering what could have been.
Fear not:
I’ll continue to encourage my friend. Poke and prod until he finally relents.
It’s one of my talents:
Getting people to do what they need to do. Convincing them to find wellsprings of courage they didn’t know existed. Even if I need to resort to insult and shame, which I’ve been told is not the best or even right way to inspire others, I will.
When it comes to the possibility of facing regret later in life, all options must be on the table.
The stakes are too damn high.
April 1, 2023
Resolution update: March 2023
1. Don’t die.
Nothing even close to dying happened in March. My physical was rescheduled for October, however, so I hope I don’t die before then.
As always, I plan on living forever or die trying.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
Done. For now. I won’t declare victory until I get through the year with sustained weight loss.
But I lost another 4 pounds in March, bringing my total weight loss to 20 pounds.
This has been accomplished by increasing the intensity of my daily workouts and improving the quality of my snacks.
More bananas and grapes. Fewer Pop-Tarts.
Now that I’ve hit my goal, my new goal is to lose another 10 pounds by the end of the year.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and three one-minute planks five days a week.
Didn’t miss a day in March.
4. Cycle for at least five days every week.
Didn’t miss a day in March, and I did two or more rides on seven days in March.
I rode another Peleton for two days in March while staying at Canyon Ranch. Again, I find this machine epically disappointing. If you’re looking for a stationary bike, be sure to look at NordicTrack and other options.
5. Improve my golfing handicap by two strokes.
Thanks to a golfing weekend in Florida back in January, I lowered my handicap from 17.6 to 15.9.
I haven’t golfed since then because of the weather, but lessons continue in earnest.
WRITING CAREER6. Complete my eighth novel.
The book is about half complete, but I haven’t made any progress in 2023.
7. Write my next Storyworthy book.
Contract signed! Due on September 1. Work has commenced!
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
I’m writing a picture book alongside my students. I’m also revising a book about beavers.
All of this is to say, “Not a lot of progress.”
9. Write a new solo show.
A fantastic theater – TheaterWorks in Hartford, CT – has extended an invitation for me to perform. I received the news yesterday and am over the moon about it.
July 23 and 24. Tickets on sale soon. All proceeds will go directly to the theater in support of the arts.
I’ll also be recording my performance to share with possible producers and directors, so it needs to be outstanding. I’ve been working on the show since January, but now things get very serious. My director and I will be working relentlessly to make this show outstanding, and I will be working hard to fill every seat for every show.
Mark your calendars.
10. Perform a new solo show.
See above. Target dates for completion are July 23 and 24.
11. Write a musical.
My friend Kaia and I are writing a musical that we will also perform, even though I cannot sing. She writes the music and lyrics. She and I write the story.
I need to write some of the story in order for Kaia to begin writing music. I haven’t done that yet.
12. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
No progress.
13. Write at least four letters to my father.
I wrote a birthday note to my father in March.
One letter sent in 2023.
14. Write 100 letters in 2022.
Another 5 letters were sent in March, bringing the total number to 54.
Halfway to the goal!
Recipients included students, Clara, friends, and a state senator in Oklahoma.
15. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
No progress. There is probably a company that does this sort of thing, so I am on the hunt.
16. Read at least 12 books.
In March, I read:
“Born a Crime” by Trevor Noah
I’m in the middle of reading the following books:
“Out of the Corner” by Jennifer Grey
“Tough Sh*t” by Kevin Smith
“From Saturday Night to Sunday Night” by Dick Ebersol
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“The Groucho Letters”
Four books read so far in 2023.
“Sapiens” by Yuval Harari
“Life’s a Gamble” by Mike Sexton
“The Sea We Swim In” by Frank Rose
“Born a Crime” by Trevor Noah
17. Read TIME’s 100 Best Children’s Books of All Time.
I read 10 of the 100 books in March. I’ve read many other books in the past, but I am only counting those books that I have re-read.
18. Write to at least six authors about a book I love.
No progress.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER19. Complete the re-recording of Storyworthy For Business.
“Storyworthy” for Business is complete and available for purchase. Find it and much more at storyworthymd.com.
I want to produce a much-improved version of the course ASAP. Module 1 is now re-recorded. The recording for module 2 (and many other things) is scheduled for April. Kaia and I will be spending a lot of time in the studio.
20. Record the next Storyworthy course.
Done.
Three brand new courses have been recorded and will be available on the Storyworthy platform later this month.
Thrilled.
21. Produce a total of six Speak Up storytelling events in 2023
I’ve scheduled four shows in 2023, including some remarkable venues.
Our first two shows are on April 22 at the Connecticut Historical Society and April 29 at Wolcott School.
We also are producing a show in partnership with Voices of Hope on May 4.
Mark your calendars! Tickets on sale soon!
22. Pitch myself to at least three upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
Done!
I spoke at a TEDx event at the University of Connecticut in January. It went well despite a malfunctioning clicker that sometimes advanced two slides instead of one.
You can’t imagine how annoyed this made me.
Also, due to the delay in posting a TEDx Talk from more than a year ago, my talk will not be loaded onto the TED platform. This is both a blessing and a curse:
A blessing because I can now repeat the talk with a functioning clicker, thus producing a better version of the talk, but also a curse because I prepared and delivered a talk for an audience of about 100 people instead of the tens of thousands I had hoped to see it online.
I was also invited to speak at a TEDx event in Natick, MA on April 13.
I pitched myself to TEDx events in Harlem, Roxbury, and on the campus of Yale University.
Harlem was only looking for residents of the borough, so they passed. I await a response from the other two.
23. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I attended three Moth StorySLAMs in March – two in Boston and one in NYC. I told stories at both StorySLAMs in Boston, but my name remained stubbornly on the bag in NYC.
Four shows altogether in 2023.
24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
Done. I won the Moth StorySLAM in Boston on March 29.
25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I’m invited to compete in the upcoming Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in May.
I was also invited to compete in the Seattle GrandSLAM last month, but traveling cross country was not possible at this time.
I await invitations from producers in New York and Washington DC (where I won StorySLAMs in the past year) when my turn comes up.
26. Produce at least 24 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
No progress, but Elysha and I have targeted April vacation for our first recording.
27. Perform stand-up at least six times in 2022.
I have a stand-up partner who will be going to open mics with me. We had a date and location planned for April, but we inadvertently scheduled it on the second night of Passover.
My friend, for the record, is Jewish, but I had to inform her of the scheduling faux pas.
We have rescheduled for June, which is sadly the next available evening when we both can attend.
28. Pitch three stories to This American Life.
No progress.
29. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
No progress.
30. Send a newsletter to readers at least 50 times.
Sox newsletters were sent in March. Two were storytelling lessons. Two were Speak Up show and workshop updates. Two were Storyworthy announcements.
A total of 16 newsletters sent thus far in 2023.
HOME31. Clear the basement.
I had hoped to order a dumpster for a day of April vacation, but that vacation is now booked with business travel and fun, so it will need to wait until the summer.
Otherwise, incremental progress was made in March.
32. Clean and clear the garage.
The dumpster will also be key to completing this task, too. More significant progress was made in March.
33. Furnish and decorate the studio.
Done! The last bookshelf was purchased and built. Lighting was added. The water damage has been repaired. The studio is officially complete.
34. Eliminate clothing not being worn and closet bins.
I removed the other two bins of clothing and moved them downstairs in hopes of finding an opportunity to go through the clothing with Elysha.
In March, I eliminated all old and unwanted hats. More than you might imagine.
Pants and shirts are next on the list.
FAMILY/FRIENDS35. Text or call my brother or sister once per month.
Done. I exchanged texts with my sister several times.
36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done. Needed an assist from friends and Elysha when we were away.
37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
Just one photo of Elysha and me together in March, though Elysha may have more.
38. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
39. I will not comment – positively or negatively – about the physical appearance of any person save my wife and children in order to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done. Years of purposefully avoiding this have made intentionally avoiding this easy and automatic. I can’t recommend it enough.
40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2023.
Done!
I surprised Elysha three times in March:
I created a goodie bag of treats from Trader Joe’s and placed it on the seat of her car on what I knew would be an especially tough day at work.
I purchased a coat from the Canyon Ranch gift shop that she wanted by thought was too expensive. While Elysha was examining the coat, I enlisted one of the store’s patrons to inquire about whether she didn’t really like the coat or thought it was too expensive. The patron returned to tell me that she liked the coat but thought it was too pricy. After Elysha left for her facial, I bought the coat and brought it to the room, where she discovered it later that day.
She’s been wearing it almost daily ever since.
I also arranged for our friend, Kathy, who now lives in Washington DC but was in Hartford on business, to surprise Elysha with a visit on Thursday night. I bought cupcakes and key lime cheesecake for the visit. When Elysha arrived home after a night of meeting incoming kindergarten parents at her school, she found Kathy sitting on our couch.
Surrpirses this year have included:
Half a dozen birthday cards, all handmade, scattered throughout her life on her birthdayTickets to the upcoming Lizzo concertA Pusheen Mystery boxGoodie bag of Trader Joe’s delightsCoat from Canyon RanchVisit from KathySix surprises so far in 2023.
41. Play poker at least six times in 2023.
No progress. So annoyed.
42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
No progress, but we spoke and agreed to meet as soon as the weather turns warmer.
MUSIC43. Memorize the lyrics to at least five favorite songs.
I’m still working on Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way” and “Renegade” by Styx (with Charlie).
44. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS
45. Learn the names of every employee who works at my school.
Progress! I learned the name of two paraprofessionals who I don’t work with directly but occasionally see in the lunchroom.
46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Done! The wedding video, along with a great deal of other content, was successfully extracted from my ancient Apple laptop. The footage was not removed in perfect order, so some work will need to be done to reassemble the parts of the video, but at last, this goal has been completed.
So excited!
47. Memorize five new poems.
No progress.
48. Write to at least three colleges about why they should hire me.
I have begun writing the letter.
49. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
I’ve reached out to the folks who manage the cemeteries in Newington for assistance on this project. No response, which is slightly annoying.
50. Post my progress regarding these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done!
March 31, 2023
Dolly and Miley are now banned, too.
A Waukesha, Wisconsin school has banned students from singing “Rainbowland” by Miley Cyrus and Dolly Parton because they believe children are too immature to hear this song.
They claim it focuses on “controversial issues.”
The lyrics in question are as follows:
“Living in a Rainbowland
The skies are blue and things are grand
Wouldn’t it be nice to live in paradise?
Where we’re free to be exactly who we are
Let’s all dig down deep inside
Brush the judgment and fear aside
Make wrong things right
And end the fight
‘Cause I promise ain’t nobody gonna win (come on)”
The song has additional lyrics, but the ones above are apparently the most offensive.
You can listen to the song below or read the lyrics for yourself, but I think that even irrational people would agree there is nothing wrong with this song.
Except for irrational people in Waukesha, Wisconsin.
Even more concerning is this:
I’m becoming concerned for the children of these parents and politicians who ban books (and now songs) with greater regularity.
Either these parents and politicians are incredibly stupid and naive, or their children are freakishly fragile, emotionally underdeveloped, and intellectually stunted human beings.
As a teacher and fan of children everywhere, I really hope it’s the former. Of course, I don’t wish stupid and naive parents on anyone, but if it has to be one or the other, I choose stupid parents.
Children can rise above their stupid, bigoted parents to become better people. It happens all the time.
But to be born so fragile as to be threatened by a song like “Rainbowland?”
That level of fragility would be hard to overcome.
As my storytelling friend, Dan Kennedy, once said:
“Every kid throughout time has figured this out on their own, but: Read the books they fight to ban, listen to the music they want to destroy, and see the art they try to burn.”
Happily, in the age of the internet, this could not be easier.
March 30, 2023
Memere and Pepere
My grandparents, Al and Irene Mandeville, who their grandchildren referred to as Mémère and Pépère (always in that order), were married 80 years ago last week.
The date was March 22, 1943. The location was New Orleans, LA. My grandfather had recently graduated from Officer Candidate School at Fort Benning, Georgia, and was stationed in Louisiana before heading to Europe to fight in World War II.
He would eventually fight his way through France to Germany before the war finally ended.
My aunt tells me that my grandmother wore a suit to her wedding because during the war, items had to be purchased with ration coupons, so even if she had borrowed a wedding gown from a friend, she still would’ve had to buy white shoes with ration coupons, which would’ve been a waste the coupons.
Different times. Makes our sacrifices during the pandemic seem trivial by comparison.
My mother was born in 1950, so my memories of my grandparents begin in the late 1970s, more than three decades after this photo was taken.
Surprisingly, they still looked a lot like the people I see in this photograph.
I can’t help but wonder what their wedding day was like all those years ago. So much joy and celebration trapped in the looming shadow of a raging war that would soon have my grandfather fighting for his country and his life half a world away.
I hope it was a glorious day for them.
I hope that for just a few moments, thoughts of war, ration coupons, and sacrifice were pushed aside so that hope, happiness, and love could rule the day.
March 29, 2023
New, unfortunately plan for book marketing
Author Elee Reeves wrote a children’s book about a turtle that explores the state of Mississippi.
The initial print run was paid for by a national foster care foundation.
$28,500 for 33,000 copies.
But an investigation by Mississippi Today found that thousands of more copies of “Fred The Turtle” were printed with $10,000 in federal Head Start funds that had been appropriated directly by the office of the governor.
Who, you may ask, is the Governor of Mississippi?
His name is Tate Reeves. Husband of author Elee Reeves.
Perhaps I should let my publicist know that the marketing and sale of books can now be accomplished via old-fashioned corruption. The lining of one’s own pockets at the expense of the taxpayer.
Also, the theft of federal dollars earmarked for children in need.
So authentic immorality, too. Wickedness and devilry of the worst kind.
I don’t love every book I read, but I have rarely stood in opposition to a book. OJ Simpson’s “I Did It” is the only one that comes to mind.
Now “Fred the Turtle” joins that short list.
It probably sucks anyway. Likely plagued by clunky dialogue, a raft of forced and inauthentic internal motivations associated with Fred, and a plot that moves at the speed of … well, a turtle.
I’d probably hate the book anyway.
Way to go, Elee Reeves.
March 28, 2023
Lobster is not objectively delicious, and it’s okay.
This week, on NPR’s radio show “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me,” host Peter Sagal mentioned that people are now subscribing to a theory that lobster doesn’t objectively taste good.
“Now subscribing to?”
As far back as 2008, I was writing about this subject on this very blog, arguing that lobster is not an inherently tasty food but is only loved by people because its price indicates value.
Also, any food that is almost always submerged in melted butter prior to consumption can’t be all that good.
I’m so happy to hear that it only took 16 years for people to finally catch up with me.
If you don’t understand the argument or perhaps disagree, allow me to offer some perspective:
“More than 200 years ago, the lobster was regarded by most Americans as a filthy, bottom-feeding scavenger unfit for consumption by civilized people. Frequently ground up and used as fertilizer, the crustacean was, at best, poor people’s food. In fact, in some colonies, the lobster was the subject of laws—laws that forbade feeding it to prisoners more than once a week because that was ‘cruel and unusual’ treatment.”
This is the opening paragraph of Josh Schonwald’s Slate piece that discusses insects as a viable source of nutrition. As someone who does not love lobster, I adore this paragraph. Lobster – the food for which people pay large sums – was once considered unfit for human consumption.
Despite how much you might profess a love for the taste of lobster, you would almost certainly not be eating it if you were living two centuries ago. Almost no one was choosing to eat it back then. The only people actually consuming lobster back then were those who could afford nothing else and those who had no choice.
Go back another century and you’ll find that lobster was specifically written into the contracts of indentured servants as something that could only be served twice per week because, once again, it was considered disgusting.
It was only when lobster became scarce thanks to overfishing that people changed their minds about its taste and viability.
Also, they added butter. They drowned it in butter.
When it comes to many foods, our perception of taste is a social construct. If lobster were as plentiful as it was two hundred years ago, it would cost a penny a pound, and you would be feeding it to your least favorite dog.
If you’re feeling annoyed or outraged by this reality, or if your instinct is to deny this truth and insist that lobster is objectively delicious, take a moment and ask yourself:
When was the last time you ate lobster absent any mayonnaise or butter? If a restaurant was serving lobster wholly on its own, absent butter or flavoring of any kind, how would you feel?
It’s okay to acknowledge this truth about lobster. It doesn’t make you a bad or foolish person. Taste, as I said, is oftentimes a social construct.
For example, I enjoy Egg McMuffins. I eat one almost every day. I think they are objectively delicious, and since McDonald’s sells millions per day, they probably are tasty. They consist of a fresh egg, a slice of American cheese, a slice of Canadien bacon, and an English muffin.
Oh, and butter. Always butter.
All of those individual ingredients tend to be enjoyed by most people, so the Egg McMuffin is probably an objectively tasty food item.
But I also probably enjoy Egg McMuffins because McDonald’s is a marketing powerhouse that convinced me in my formative years that the Egg McMuffin is delicious.
McDonald’s was also one of my first employers. It was a place where I met friends who I still have today. McDonald’s recognized my talent and ability when most people, including parents and teachers, were ignoring me. They gave me responsibility and a means of making living when I was young and entirely on my own. I put myself through college by working at McDonald’s.
Do all of these factors contribute to my love for the Egg McMuffin?
Of course they do. To argue otherwise would be stupid.
I like Egg McMuffkins, but I probably like them a lot more because of things completely unrelated to their actual taste.
Another example:
I don’t like Thai food. I can’t find a single thing on a Thai menu that I enjoy. But I’m not so obtuse to think that had I grown up in Thailand, I would’ve starved to death.
Had I been born and raised in Thailand, I would absolutely enjoy Thai food today. Denying this would be stupid.
Taste, in many cases, is a social construct.
Despite this reality, lobster lovers have argued vociferously with me over the years that had they been alive in 1736 or 1812, they would’ve still been eating and enjoying lobster. They insist that they dunk their lobster in butter but only because it makes the lobster taste better, but absent the butter, the meat of a lobster is still delicious.
A few have actually compared the butter on lobster to catsup and pickles on a cheeseburger.
But I know many people who will eat a cheeseburger even if catsup or pickles aren’t available. Many people prefer cheeseburgers absent these condiments. Some crazy people – my son included – even prefer it without the cheese.
How many people eat lobster without butter?
Still, these lobster defenders argue that despite the vast majority of Americans living two centuries ago, grinding lobster into fertilizer and feeding it to incarcerated people, they would’ve been the single beacon of wisdom when it comes to this food.
While others despised it, they insist they would’ve adored it.
How enlightened they must be.
One more unfortunate reality about lobster:
Boiling it alive is incredibly cruel.
It was previously believed (perhaps conveniently) that the lobsters were incapable of feeling pain. This belief allowed chefs to drop lobsters into boiling pots of water while still alive without any moral conundrum.
New research demonstrates that this is not the case. Contrary to claims made by seafood sellers, lobsters do feel pain, and they suffer immensely when they are cut, broiled, or boiled alive. Most scientists agree that a lobster’s nervous system is actually quite sophisticated.
In fact, not only do lobsters feel pain, but research has proven that they are capable of learning to avoid pain.
Unless, of course, you drop them into a pot of boiling water. Then there’s no avoiding the agony of death. Just a horrific boiling of flesh and eyes until the lobster is dead.
Bon appetite!
I have no problem with people eating lobster. It would be nice to find a more humane way to kill them before boiling them, but if you love lobster, good for you. While I don’t love lobster and haven’t eaten it in years, I thought it was fine on the handful of occasions when I tried it.
It was submerged in butter, of course, because that is how lobster is eaten.
But perhaps be willing to acknowledge that you probably like lobster because you were told to like lobster, and you were told to like lobster because it costs a lot of money, and it costs a lot of money because of its historical scarcity.
According to “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me,” people are apparently coming around to this truth.
It’s about time.
March 27, 2023
Thin margins in the worst places
I work for a technology company that recently laid off 22,000 employees.
I work for another company that laid off 5,500 people last month.
Big numbers. Astounding numbers, really. Tens of thousands of jobs are suddenly not being done, yet the company moves.
Twitter – a company that has not been profitable since 2019 – recently laid off more than half of its employees.
For the record, if you lay off a single teacher from most elementary schools in America, things will instantly go to hell.
Unlike these large technology firms, schools operate on a knife’s edge. They are staffed with just enough people to do the job and oftentimes, not nearly enough people to do the job.
Eliminate just one position from a school and children will suffer.
Given the role of education in a functioning, productive, expanding society, this is counterproductive, shortsighted, and utterly asinine. It’s stupid beyond measure.
Schools should be overwhelmed by resources. They should have more than enough teachers. An army of paraprofessionals. A platoon of psychologists, social workers, and counselors. Vice principals galore.
They should not be operating on the thinnest of margins.
But they do, primarily because Americans love their schools, adore their children, and admire their teachers, but they hate parting with the tax dollars needed to fund their schools, even though investments made into the public school system yield enormous long-term returns.
Corporations can lay off thousands of employees and continue doing business without their customers noticing any meaningful change.
Lose even one teacher and children and parents will know it and feel it immediately.
America is very stupid when it comes to investing its dollars.
March 26, 2023
Spring
I look for hope and progress wherever I can.
Relentlessly so.
We can choose to be optimistic. We can search for sources of optimism. Seek them wherever they might be hiding.
Treasure them as tiny as they may be.
Here are the first crocuses of spring.
Hope.
It springs eternal.
March 25, 2023
Get funny.
After more than a year and hundreds of requests, I am very excited to announce the return of my very popular Humor Workshop:
A one-day virtual workshop to help you strategically deploy humor and become a funnier person.
Join me on Sunday, April 16, from 10:00 AM – 4:00 PM EST for this strategy-packed, instantly applicable, exceptionally specific workshop on humor.
Become a funnier friend. Make yourself more attractive on a first date. Make the room, auditorium, or theater erupt with laughter while delivering a presentation, keynote, or speech. Bring amusement to a Zoom room. Tell funnier stories!
During this workshop, I will teach 15 of my humor strategies and offer activities for each that will allow you to learn, practice, and apply these skills immediately.
You’ll also have opportunities to practice, demonstrate, and receive feedback from me during the workshop.
But don’t worry. If you’d rather not jump in and try to be funny, there will be no pressure to participate. Feel free to sit back and learn without saying a word because having audience members there to listen, support each other, and lend an occasional laugh are super important for these exercises, too.
EARLY BIRD PRICING UNTIL APRIL 3RD, SAVE $50
BY PARTICIPATING IN THE WORKSHOP, YOU WILL RECEIVE THE FOLLOWING:
15 of my best humor strategiesA workbook containing exercises and activities you can use to sharpen your skillsThe recording of the day’s sessions20% off your next Storyworthy purchaseA chance to win a 30-minute virtual coaching session with me (2 winners will be selected)Hope to see you there!
