Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 89
May 9, 2023
“To each their own”
While discussing our appreciation for certain books, I said to Clara, “To each his own.”
Her response:
“Yup. To each their own.”
See what she did?
She shifted the pronoun without thought, stripping the gender from my remark without even realizing it.
She did so automatically.
This is a big deal for some people. Gender-neutral pronouns, gender fluidity, transgender rights, and similar issues are a big deal in our country today. These subjects have upset a great number of people, in part because politicians of a particular stripe have weaponized them for political gain.
Absent any ideas or solutions with broad appeal, they instead use social issues to gain political traction.
When 95% of Americans support universal background checks for the purchase of firearms, 61% percent support a ban on assault weapons, and 62% believe that abortion should be legal, it’s hard to win elections opposing these positions unless you find some boogeyman to frighten your constituents.
And yes, some debate, like the fairest ways for transgender people to compete in sports, for example, is certainly reasonable, but for an unfortunate many, the mere existence of transgender people and the realities of gender fluidity are offensive.
These people are ignorant, small-minded, frightened by change, invested in buffet-styled religious dogma, trapped within tragically fixed mindsets, or sheep-like beings who are easily misled.
Maybe some combination of these things.
The good news:
The younger generations suffer from none of this nonsense.
In the same way that previous generations once rejected interracial marriage, same-sex marriage, school desegregation, sexual harassment legislation, financial independence for women, smoking bans in public spaces, mandatory seatbelt laws, and many other common-sense reforms, so, too, will this stupidity about gender go the way of the dinosaur.
Those who cannot see the light will eventually find themselves living on the margins, the member of an ever-shrinking minority, and someday, sooner than later, pariahs.
Possibly extinct.
It starts with people like Clara, who demonstrate respect for her fellow human beings by not placing one gender above another or even making gender relevant in conversations like the one we were having that day.
Eliminating the unnecessary reference to gender automatically, without even having to think about it.
That is real change, and it is coming.
It’s just annoying that so many fools are still standing in the way.
May 8, 2023
“You’re a Monster, Matthew Dicks” – Last day for discount tickets
Surprising convergence
This past week, Elysha and I produced a storytelling show in collaboration with Voices of Hope that featured the children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. These storytellers told stories about their own lives while weaving in part of their descendants’ experiences as well.
It was an outstanding show filled with amazing stories of struggle, heartbreak, and hope.
One of the storytellers spoke about her mother’s and aunts’ time spent imprisoned in Dachau, a concentration camp in Germany where tens of thousands of Jews and other political prisoners were murdered during World War 2. Dachau was liberated on April 26, 1945, thus freeing my storyteller’s mother and aunts and allowing them to live long, prosperous lives.
On April 26 of this year – the 76th anniversary of Dachau’s liberation – my aunt Diane – a family historian of sorts – wrote to me, informing me that my grandfather – Pépère – was one of the first American soldiers to pass through the iron gates at Dachau and liberate the camp. Pépère was a First Lieutenant at the time, but given that his Captain was ill for much of the war, he was charged with leading his men into the concentration camp, which housed more than 30,000 starving prisoners.
Included in that number were my storyteller’s mother and aunts.
I couldn’t believe it.
On the same day that I was listening to the harrowing tale of a woman and her two sisters’ surviving in Dachau, I learned that my grandfather had been there as well, and he was at least partially responsible for its liberation.
I still can’t believe it.
I always tell a story in these Voices of Hope shows, too. The goal is for me to find and tell a story about my time spent working with these storytellers, and thus far, I’ve managed to do so. The stories tend to center on something I’ve learned from the storytellers themselves or one of their stories, but there have been moments in the past seven years that we’ve been producing these shows when I wondered if I’d be able to find yet another story to tell.
But in this case, the universe (and my aunt Diane) handed me a story on a silver platter, and I was both thrilled and honored to tell it on Thursday night.
The opportunity to honor my grandfather’s sacrifice and courage was one I will never forget.
You never know what history might reveal when people are willing to study and share it with the world.
In this case, two strangers – a future mother struggling to survive the horrors of the Holocaust and a future grandfather marching across Europe to fight against fascism – converged at a single point in Germany under the worst possible circumstances and managed to survive.
Many years later, the child of that survivor and the grandchild of that soldier would share a stage to tell stories about that convergence.
If only they could’ve seen and heard the stories we told.
May 7, 2023
Driving gloves
For a thankfully short period of time in my late teens, I wore driving gloves while behind the wheel.
Just imagine:
A younger version of me, climbing into my powder blue Toyota Tercel, pulling the seatbelt across my body, then donning a pair of black leather driving gloves before turning the key and firing up the engine.
How ridiculous. How utterly foolish of me.
I wore driving gloves back then because I was an idiot, but I was curious:
Why do people still wear driving gloves today? Are they all idiots like me?
Driving gloves first emerged in the late nineteenth century to prevent splinters from the less-than-ideal steering wheels of that era. When steering wheel quality improved, people continued to wear driving gloves through the 1950s to keep their hands warm before climate control was introduced to automobiles.
But after that? Why still wear driving gloves when today’s cars allow for precise climate control?
The reasons I found for donning driving gloves in today’s world (according to the makers of driving gloves) are thus:
Reason #1:
The tack of a leather glove offers superior grip and control over the wheel.
This may be factually true. Driving gloves might in fact improve your grip on the steering wheel, but I have never experienced a single moment in my 35 years of driving when I felt that my grip on the wheel was substandard in any way. I suspect that professional race car drivers might require an improved grip on the wheel, but civilian drivers toting children around town or commuting to work?
Probably not.
Reason #2:
Driving gloves reduce hand fatigue by limiting the vibrations from your wheel that exhaust the hand when driving for long periods of time.
Hand fatigue? If your steering wheel is vibrating so badly that you are suffering hand fatigue, you need to get your car into the shop immediately. In all of my years of driving, I have never once suffered from hand fatigue while operating a vehicle.
Reason #3:
Driving gloves preserve your steering wheel. According to the makers of driving gloves, oils and sweat from your hands can break down leather and wooden steering wheels.
But almost all steering feels today are made from plastic, vinyl, or molded rubber. Perhaps if you’re driving a classic car with an original steering wheel made from wood or leather, driving gloves might make sense, but in all other circumstances, this is just nonsense. Preserving the quality of plastic or molded rubber is not a thing.
Reason #4:
Driving gloves keep your hands warm in cold weather and cool in warm weather.
While driving gloves may keep your hands warm for the first seven minutes of your journey, gloves or mittens – which you are likely wearing if it’s cold enough to wear driving gloves – would serve the same purpose.
You could also just allow the car to warm up.
I have no idea how wearing a pair of driving gloves is supposed to keep your hands cool in warmer weather. This also strikes me as nonsense.
Either way, there are better ways to keep your hands warm than driving gloves.
Reason #5:
At least one maker of driving gloves claims that driving gloves carry a certain type of old-school charm and “make you look awesome – it’s undeniable.”
I think it’s very deniable. Eminently deniable.
I think there are many ways to look awesome, but needlessly covering your hands in cow skin is not one of them. This sounds like nonsense to me.
In fact, all of the reasons to be wearing driving gloves strike me as nonsensical, which is why when I saw someone wearing a pair of driving gloves this week while behind the wheel of a Honda SUV, I remembered my own pair of driving gloves, thought back my time spent wearing them, and cringed at how ridiculous and silly I must’ve looked.
Somehow, none of my friends made fun of my driving gloves back then, but it wasn’t because they were exceedingly kind or didn’t notice. It was probably because I was doing so many other idiotic things at the time that the driving gloves probably seemed like a footnote when compared with my mountain of other embarrassments.
If you currently wear driving gloves while operating your vehicle, forgive me. What do I know?
I’m sure they look great and serve many vital functions.
May 6, 2023
Teacher Appreciation prank
Teacher Appreciation gifts come in many sizes and shapes.
Some are heartfelt and sweet. Others are homemade and utterly endearing. Many are thoughtful, generous, and exceedingly kind.
All are unnecessary but appreciated.
But occasionally, a Teacher Appreciation gift can be surprising and unprecedented, like this, which I received yesterday:
A can of my favorite beverage – Diet Coke – encased in jello.
The best thing about this gift:
It somehow landed on my desk without my knowledge, and the student responsible kept his identity secret for the entire school day.
Not only was his gift hilarious, but he possessed the understanding and wherewithal to remain silent, thus extending the joke beyond the initial surprise. The gift was delightfully surprising, but then he layered on the added bonus of mystery.
A gift so perfectly aligned with my sensibilities in every single way.
Impressive stuff.
May 5, 2023
Teacher Appreciation Week gift ideas
Next week, May 8 through May 12, is Teacher Appreciation Week:
A time to thank the teachers of this country for the important work they do.
I am often asked – including several times this week – what makes the perfect teacher appreciation gift, and every time, my answer is the same:
When it comes to gifts, I firmly believe that the best gift that you can give a teacher is simply a note expressing your appreciation for all that they have done for your child.
Teaching can be a lonely profession. We work in isolation for much of the day, and our primary clients – our students – are not always forthcoming or insightful enough to adequately express their appreciation for their teachers. While we are routinely observed and critiqued by administrators, these critiques do nothing to illuminate the impact that a teacher can have on a student or a family.
I have letters from the parents of my former students that I cherish as much as any other object in my life. I read these letters after difficult days in the classroom, and they lift my spirits beyond measure. They serve as reminders that what I do is making a difference in the world when a tough day or an impossible situation causes me to think otherwise.
Regardless of the gift that you plan on giving your child’s teacher this year, take some time to sit down and write a letter to your child’s teachers, telling them how much they have come to mean to you and your child. Remind the teacher that their impact extends far beyond the classroom and that they are making a difference in the life of your child.
And if you truly believe that your child’s teacher is exemplary, send that letter to the principal and even the superintendent of schools as well. During my first year of teaching, a mother sent a note to me during the holidays expressing her appreciation for all I was doing for her daughter, and she also sent a copy of that letter to my principal and the superintendent of schools expressing her support for me.
That letter was sent 24 years ago, and it still means the world to me. It remains one of the best gifts that anyone has ever given me.
And if you don’t have a child attending school, seriously consider writing to a teacher from your past. For the past three years, I have written teacher appreciation letters to my former teachers and college professors, including some who were retired from the profession, and every time, the result was extraordinary.
Each letter resulted in an exchange of letters or emails reconnecting me to a person who was once a pivotal figure in my life. Each time, the recipient was immeasurably grateful for being remembered – and being remembered well – by a former student.
Some of those moments of reconnection continue to this day.
So when deciding upon a gift for a teacher, consider the gift of words.
Give the gift of appreciation, admiration, and love.
It really is the best gift that you could give.
May 4, 2023
Freaking out?
A vice president of marketing tells me that he is “freaking out” over some of the choices in a deck design for a new product launch.
The problem:
Words matter. Particularly when you occupy a leadership position.
If a CEO is “freaking out” over deck design – which essentially amounts to the choice of images, animations, and overall color scheme – how will this CEO react when an actual emergency arises?
If deck design causes him to freak out, just imagine how he might handle an honest-to-goodness problem. Or a situation that cannot be corrected so easily.
Also, how does “freaking out” over a deck design help his people improve their work in any productive way?
Perhaps this vice president was speaking hyperbolically. Maybe he was far less frantic than his words conveyed. Admittedly, this may have all been bluster, absent any real emotion.
But words matter. Particularly when you occupy a leadership position.
When I managed McDonald’s restaurants, I was keenly aware that my language, attitude, and general disposition impacted my employees tremendously. If I was positive and confident about my day, my employees would often adopt a similar disposition. If I talked about how much fun I was having, regardless of the conditions at that moment, my employees were far more likely to feel the same. When I arrived at the restaurant, almost always before sunrise, I tried like hell to have a skip in my step, even if I wasn’t feeling particularly upbeat that day.
Why?
I was managing the restaurant. Setting the tone. It behooved me to project an image of positivity and confidence. It almost always made the day better for me and the people around me.
The same holds true for a teacher. A positive attitude is infectious. A desire to climb proverbial mountains and achieve new heights is contagious. A willingness to make mistakes in front of my students encourages them to do the same. Kindness breeds kindness.
I start every morning by talking to my students about how I spent the previous day, focusing on the things that I want them to see as critical for a good, productive life.
I tell them about what I read and how much time I spent reading. I describe the ways that I exercised. I list any healthy foods that I enjoyed. I talk about the chores I did, the meals I cooked, and the ways I helped my family. I tell them about the writing I did. I teach them anything new that I learned.
If I avoided watching television, I tell them so. If I went someplace interesting, I tell them about it. If I tried something new, I tell that story. If I spent any time outdoors, I tell them how.
And I ask them to respond as well.
Who read something exciting last night? Hilarious? Surprising?
Who ate something super healthy for dinner last night?
Who helped with a meal? Took care of a pet? Made their bed this morning?
Did anyone write?
Play a sport?
Visit with a friend?
Solve a challenging problem?
Go to bed at a reasonable hour?
It takes ten minutes, but I think it’s ten of the most important minutes of the day. It sets a tone. Projects positivity. Models a productive, healthy, happy life. Demonstrates vulnerability. Opens my heart and mind so that they can do the same.
Words matter. Particularly when you occupy a leadership position.
My students will never see me freaking out. They’ll never hear me talk about freaking out.
I might talk about a problem I have yet to solve. I might describe a challenge that I’m facing. I might even talk about a setback I’ve suffered or a recent act of stupidity.
Definitely the acts of stupidity. Those are always the best stories.
But I’m careful with my language. Cautious about the words I use. Thoughtful about how I can speak of these less-than-ideal moments in my life as opportunities for growth and insight
Why?
Words matter. Particularly when you occupy a leadership position.
If you’re freaking out about a deck design, that’s problematic given the nature of business and the serious, sometimes immutable problems that you will face.
Freaking out over the small stuff is always problematic.
Speaking about it in those terms, particularly when you are in a leadership position, is even worse.
May 3, 2023
Peanut butter and pickle sandiwch?
This weekend, the New York Times cooking section published a recipe for a peanut butter and pickle sandwich.
When I saw it, I initially thought it was a joke. A parody of some sort.
But no. They were serious. Not only were they serious, but it turns out that peanut butter and pickle sandwiches are not new. When I showed the recipe to Elysha, she said, “Yeah, I’ve heard of that before. I’d try it.”
Try it?
I was appalled, for three reasons:
Admittedly, I despise pickles. I can’t stand the taste of them, and even worse, I can’t stand the way they infect everything around them. A pickle on a plate can make your hot dog and French fries become pickle-infused monstrosities. Pickles are like a virus, spreading their insidious contagion to anything coming in contact with them.Pickles are the only food item that can be placed on a plate without warning. If I order a cheeseburger and fries in a restaurant, it’s entirely possible that a third food item – a pickle – not mentioned at all on the menu – will also be placed on the plate, too, unless I preempt their arrival by asking the server to hold the possible pickle. Why is it acceptable to add a food item to a plate that was not mentioned on the menu beforehand?For years, I have touted my invention of the peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich, and the handful of people willing to try it have generally found it to range from acceptable to excellent. Yet when I bring the idea up, I am often mocked or dismissed.But the New York Times can publish a recipe for a peanut butter and pickle sandwich, and no one blinks an eye?
And this bizarre combination turns out to be a real thing? Something that people on this planet choose to eat on a regular basis?
It’s not fair.
Tuna fish and peanut butter isn’t any stranger than peanut butter and pickles, and honestly, it might just be a lot less weird.
Yet people often think my sandwich is ridiculous.
Where’s my New York Times recipe? Where’s the open-mindedness that my sandwich deserves? Where is the respect that the tuna fish and peanut butter sandwich deserves?
Maybe I’ll submit my sandwich recipe to the New York Times to see what happens.
In case you’re interested in my peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich, here is what I wrote about it a few years ago:
_____________________________________
I am the inventor of the peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich.
This bit of culinary brilliance was born of necessity.
When I was a kid, my mother occasionally served us tuna fish sandwiches for lunch. Rightfully despising mayonnaise more than almost any other food product on the planet, my sandwiches consisted of tuna on white bread.
Nothing more.
Lacking any binding agent, the tuna in my sandwich would simply fall out whenever I lifted it off the plate, which made it difficult and annoying to eat.
One day, as my mother was making our lunch, I saw a can of tuna fish sitting beside a jar of peanut butter, and I had an inspiration. I took a dollop of peanut butter and popped it into the microwave for a few seconds, just long enough to soften it a bit, and then I mixed it with tuna fish before placing it on my Wonder bread.
The peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich was born.
And it was good.
The typical reaction when I mention this sandwich is disgust, but this annoys me for two reasons:
I’ve spent my life being told by people that I should like more food, try more foods, and give more food a chance. Yet when I suggest that they might find this sandwich tasty, people refuse to even consider the possibility.People eat raw fish on a regular basis. Bull testicles. Olive loaf. Jello salad. Chitlins. Many of these foods probably seemed disgusting to you at some point (and some might still sound disgusting), but they are all regularly eaten in this country. You’re almost certainly eating food today that you once thought would be awful. Is a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich really all that different?For the record, I’ve served peanut butter and tuna fish to friends before. Years ago, I designed and operated a race for my friends, modeled after the television show The Amazing Race. Teams of two raced around town, completing tasks and taking on challenges. It was great fun, and even better when Elysha became involved after the first year.
Each one of my races had a theme. One year, the theme was me. Tasks and challenges related to my life. One of my tasks was to eat a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. At least two people participating in that race admitted to liking the sandwich, and I have served it to several other people since then.
As far as I know, at least two people still eat peanut butter and tuna fish sandwiches on a regular basis.
I’m not saying that you will like peanut butter and tuna fish sandwiches. I merely suggesting that you have an open mind about the thing. If you’re willing to try raw squid or partake in ice cream that tastes like leftover cereal milk or pretend that green bean casserole is little more than a Trojan horse for Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup, maybe you could give my creation a chance.
Or at least not mock it until you’ve tried it.
May 2, 2023
I did not go to war with the tailor, which was surprising.
I went to a tailor last week with three suits in need of adjustment for an upcoming formal event.
They all needed to be adjusted to one degree or another.
I donned the first suit, stepped out of the dressing room, and stood before the tailor. She asked me to turn, sighed, and said, “Let’s look at the other two suits.”
When I asked what was wrong, she said some words that made no sense to me, then Elysha translated:
“She says your suit is outdated.”
A minute later, I emerged once again from the dressing room with another suit, which she liked much better. She pinched and squeezed the fabric, pinned and marked certain places, and then we repeated the process for the third suit.
But that first suit, which still required tailoring?
It remained on its hanger. I brought it home, untouched, which is crazy, for this simple reason:
I wanted that suit tailored, but the tailor essentially said, “No, this suit is no good,” and moved on.
But I like that suit. I have no problem with that suit. I wore that suit last year and felt great while doing so.
All of which is to say:
The suit in question reflects my own personal style because I like the damn thing.
For all of my life, I have listened to people endlessly assert the importance of finding your own path, charting your own course, being your own person, and avoiding the pressure of others to conform and become something that you’re not.
Be yourself! To hell with the opinions of others! Be a leader rather than a follower!
Then I walk into the tailor’s shop and am told that my suit does not adequately conform to the current style and opinion of the masses, therefore I should not wear it.
In fact, it doesn’t even deserve to be tailored.
That’s crazy.
The world is a damn contradiction.
Be yourself, unless while being yourself, you’re wearing a suit that is a decade out of style.
Be yourself, just as long as you look like everyone else while being yourself.
Be yourself, but also, be like everyone else, too.
I hate all of it.
But here’s the craziest part of the whole encounter:
I went along with it. Me. The person who craves confrontation. The person who wears whatever he wants. The man who hasn’t donned a necktie in years and is underdressed most of the time by most people’s standards.
I allowed this woman to send me home with a suit that still requires tailoring.
Why?
I think it was a combination of things:
I was in an environment – a European tailor shop – to which I was unacquainted. The tailor possessed home-field advantage, and pathetically, I allowed that advantage to impact my decision-making.Elysha was with me, also getting something tailored, and the whole purpose of the visit was to prepare for a formal event that we will be attending together. To go to war with the tailor would’ve created both problems and consternation for Elysha, who was patiently awaiting her turn. Rather than turning a simple visit to the tailor into a treatise on the importance and relevance of individuality, personal style, and basic business practices, I surrendered the hill, opted to fight another day, and moved on. I wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. Had the tailor said, “No, this suit is out of style. You must never wear it again. Remove this ridiculous garment and don another,” I think the chances of me charging into battle would’ve been considerably greater. But I needed Elysha to translate whatever the tailor had said about the suit, so I wasn’t entirely sure if I had understood the situation correctly. It was only after we were driving home and I had time to ask Elysha some questions that I understood the true nature of the encounter and became annoyed.So a suit remains in my closet, still in need of tailoring. I will get it tailored elsewhere, and I will wear that suit whenever I damn well please because I like the suit, and human beings are supposed to wear the garments they like, even if they don’t exactly conform to the preferences of the people around them.
I learned this lesson in elementary school.
But I, too, am a contradiction.
On the one hand, I will forever remain proud of myself for not creating a scene in the tailor shop, because I love my wife and need not bring unnecessary discord into her life.
On the other hand, I will forever regret not going to war with that condescending, dismissive tailor and the conformity that she attempted to impose upon me and the clothing I wear.
Pride and regret:
A contradiction almost as ridiculous as one that insists that I be myself while also being like everyone else.
May 1, 2023
Resolution update: April 2023
1. Don’t die.
I crushed April. No near-death experiences, which is oddly good for me.
As always, I plan on living forever or die trying.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I lost another 4 pounds in April, bringing my total weight loss to 24 pounds in 2023
I won’t declare victory until I get through the year with sustained weight loss, but at the moment, the goal has been achieved.
Now that I’ve hit my goal, my new goal is to lose another 10 pounds by the end of the year, bringing my total weight loss to 30 pounds.
I also need new pants.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and three one-minute planks five days a week.
Didn’t miss a single day in April.
4. Cycle for at least five days every week.
Done. I cycled every day but one in the month of April. I couldn’t find time to cycle on a travel day from British Columbia to Hartford.
I also rode the bike (stationary and actual bike) two or more times on a single day for ten days in April.
I also rode yet another Peleton for a day in a hotel gym in Victoria, Canada. Again, I found this machine epically disappointing. If you’re looking for a stationary bike, I’d strongly recommend a NordicTrack and other options.
I’m now looking into a stationary rower. I found one that I love, but it’s the space in our home that is lacking.
5. Improve my golfing handicap by two strokes.
My handicap at the start of the year was 17.6.
I played three rounds of golf in April and increased my handicap slightly to 16.2.
Lessons continue. Quite a successful one yesterday.
WRITING CAREER6. Complete my eighth novel.
The book is about half complete, but I haven’t made any progress in 2023 as I focus on my nonfiction first.
7. Write my next Storyworthy book.
Contract signed! Due on September 1. Work has commenced! Two chapters were completed in April.
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
I sent my beaver-related picture book to my agent for review.
I’m writing a picture book alongside my students. I’ve also started two new ideas. Short, incomplete, and very much in the rough draft stage.
But progress!
9. Write a new solo show.
“Writing” is being completed in earnest. I put the word “writing” in parentheses because I don’t actually write anything that I perform onstage. I speak it aloud, crafting and revising orally, holding it in my mind, and eventually, I’ll make a recording that I can then listen to, evaluate, and revise.
I may eventually use text-to-speech to create a document that can be used for lighting cues, but for now, everything is worked on aloud and stored in my brain, as is my process for everything I’ve ever spoken onstage.
But still… it’s coming along.
10. Perform a new solo show.
July 30 and 31. TheaterWorks in Hartford, CT. Get your tickets here.
11. Write a musical.
My friend Kaia and I are writing a musical that we will also perform, even though I cannot sing. She writes the music and lyrics. She and I write the story.
I need to write some of the story in order for Kaia to begin writing music. I haven’t done that yet because we are currently immersed in the solo show, but once it’s done, I’m hoping to turn my focus on this next staged project.
12. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
No progress.
13. Write at least four letters to my father.
I wrote a birthday note to my father in March.
One letter sent in 2023 so far.
14. Write 100 letters in 2022.
Another 13 letters were sent in April, bringing the total number to 67.
Recipients included students, the parents of students, friends, a superintendent of schools, Air Canada, and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. I also sent a bottle of olive oil to a friend, which is a long story.
15. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
No progress. There is probably a company that does this sort of thing, so I am on the hunt.
16. Read at least 12 books.
I did not finish a book in April.
I’m in the middle of reading the following books:
“Out of the Corner” by Jennifer Grey
“Tough Sh*t” by Kevin Smith
“From Saturday Night to Sunday Night” by Dick Ebersol
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“The Groucho Letters”
“Magic Words” by Jonah Berger
Four books read so far in 2023.
“Sapiens” by Yuval Harari
“Life’s a Gamble” by Mike Sexton
“The Sea We Swim In” by Frank Rose
“Born a Crime” by Trevor Noah
17. Read TIME’s 100 Best Children’s Books of All Time.
I read three more of the 100 books in April.
A total of 13 so far.
I’ve read many of the other books on the list in the past, but I am only counting those books that I have read in 2023 toward my goal.
18. Write to at least six authors about a book I love.
No progress.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER19. Complete the re-recording of Storyworthy For Business.
“Storyworthy” for Business is complete and available for purchase. Find it and much more at storyworthymd.com.
I want to produce a much-improved version of the course ASAP. Module 1 is now re-recorded. The recording for module 2 (and many other things) is currently being recorded. It will take a while, but the results, I believe, will be extraordinary.
20. Record the next Storyworthy course.
Done.
Two brand-new courses have been added to the Storyworthy platform:
Finding Stories
Anatomy of a Story
I’m exceptionally proud of both. You should check them out.
I also have a humor course recorded. It will need to be edited in order to make it available for sale, but that should happen by the end of June.
21. Produce a total of six Speak Up storytelling events in 2023
We produced our first show of 2023 on April 22 at the Connecticut Historical Society. Huge success.
We also are producing a show in partnership with Voices of Hope on May 4. Purchase tickets here!
We also have shows scheduled in July, August, September, and beyond that we will be announcing shortly.
22. Pitch myself to at least three upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
Done!
I spoke at a TEDx event at the University of Connecticut in January. It went well despite a malfunctioning clicker that sometimes advanced two slides instead of one.
You can’t imagine how annoyed this made me.
Also, due to the delay in posting a TEDx Talk from more than a year ago, my University of Connecticut talk will not be loaded onto the TED platform for reasons I don’t quite understand.
This is both a blessing and a curse:
A blessing because I can now repeat the talk with a functioning clicker, thus producing a better version of the talk, but also a curse because I prepared and delivered a talk for an audience of about 100 people instead of the tens of thousands I had hoped to see online.
I also spoke at a TEDx event in Natick, MA on April 13. It went quite well.
I pitched myself to TEDx events in Harlem, Roxbury, and on the campus of Yale University. Harlem has declined. I await word from the two others.
23. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I was scheduled to attend a Moth StorySLAM in NYC in April, but a death in the family derailed those plans.
I have two StorySLAMs and a GrandSLAM scheduled for May.
Four Moth shows altogether in 2023 thus far.
24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
Done. I won the Moth StorySLAM in Boston on March 29.
25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I will be competing in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in May.
I was invited to compete in the Seattle GrandSLAM in March, but traveling cross country was not possible at this time.
I await invitations from producers in New York and Washington DC (where I have won StorySLAMs in the past year) when my turn comes up.
26. Produce at least 24 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
No progress.
27. Perform stand-up at least six times in 2022.
My stand-up pal and I have plans to perform in our first open mic in 2023 on June 1.
28. Pitch three stories to This American Life.
No progress.
29. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
No progress.
30. Send a newsletter to readers at least 50 times.
Fifteen newsletters were sent in April. Many were storytelling lessons. Three were Speak Up show and workshop updates.
A total of 31 newsletters sent thus far in 2023.
HOME31. Clear the basement.
I had hoped to order a dumpster for a day of April vacation, but that vacation was booked with business travel and fun, so it will need to wait until the summer.
Otherwise, incremental progress was made in April. I cleaned out a box of audio cords and some leftover construction material. I also try to throw one thing away every time I enter the basement.
32. Clean and clear the garage.
The dumpster will also be key to completing this task, too, but I did a spring cleaning in April. Looking pretty good once I cleared out the neighbor’s bikes and toys.
33. Furnish and decorate the studio.
Done! The last bookshelf was purchased and built. Lighting was added. The water damage has been repaired.
The studio is officially complete.
34. Eliminate clothing not being worn and closet bins.
Just two bins left to go through with Elysha.
In April, I eliminated all unwanted tee shirts from the closet. Added to the hats and shoes, this is serious progress.
Pants and button-down shirts are next on the list.
FAMILY/FRIENDS35. Text or call my brother or sister once per month.
Failed to achieve this goal in April. Busy month but no excuses.
36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
Done. Elysha took photos for me when I was away, but no day was missed in April.
37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
No photos of just Elysha and me together in April. Lots of photos of the four of us together, but none of just the two of us.
38. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
39. I will not comment – positively or negatively – about the physical appearance of any person save my wife and children in order to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
Done.
I saw a news clip of a woman being interviewed on MSNBC who looked as if she has been constructed from artificial intelligence. She looked utterly unnatural, so I genuinely thought that she might be a digital fabrication of sorts. I showed this clip to Elysha, asking her what she thought, and she suspected that it might be a less-than-ideal filter or simply far too much makeup.
So while I commented – negatively – on the woman’s physical appearance, I didn’t think she was an authentic human being at first, so I’m not counting this one.
40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2023.
Done!
I surprised Elysha once in April:
I brought her and her fellow kindergarten teachers a dessert after a day spent in the rain during a field trip. As an added bonus, I was able to see Elysha and spend a few minutes with her before hustling back to work.
Surprises this year have included:
Half a dozen birthday cards, all handmade, scattered throughout her life on her birthdayTickets to the upcoming Lizzo concertA Pusheen Mystery boxGoodie bag of Trader Joe’s delightsCoat from Canyon RanchVisit from KathySurprise dessert, delivered personally to her schoolSeven surprises so far in 2023.
41. Play poker at least six times in 2023.
No progress.
42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
No progress, but we spoke and agreed to meet as soon as the weather turns warmer.
MUSIC43. Memorize the lyrics to at least five favorite songs.
I’m still working on Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way” and “Renegade” by Styx (with Charlie). Admittedly, there wasn’t ,much work done in April.
44. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
Done.
MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS
45. Learn the names of every employee who works at my school.
Progress! I learned the name of one new paraprofessional who joined our team last month.
46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Done! The wedding video, along with a great deal of other content, was successfully extracted from my ancient Apple laptop. The footage was not removed in perfect order, so some work will need to be done to reassemble the parts of the video, but at last, this goal has been completed.
So excited!
47. Memorize five new poems.
No progress.
48. Write to at least three colleges about why they should hire me.
I have begun writing the letter, though I’m starting to wonder if I would still want the job.
49. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
I’ve reached out to the folks who manage the cemeteries in Newington for assistance on this project in March.
No response.
I’ll try again in May.
50. Post my progress regarding these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
Done!
