Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 74

What’s in the box?

Elysha and I took the kids to Yankee Stadium this summer for their first major league baseball game.

It was an unforgettable night.

It got a little better a few weeks later when my friend, Tom, handed me a gift just before a round of golf. He told me it was a gift for the kids. “They’ll love it,” he assured me.

I was a little worried.

The last gift exchanged between Tom and me at this particular golf course was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. On the morning of my day-long bachelor party, which began with a round of golf, my friend, Jeff, handed me a small, wrapped box.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“A gift for you,” he said. “But don’t open it. Give it to Tom.”

Five minutes later, standing near the starter’s shed amid our friends, I gave the box to Tom. He assumed that it was a gift from me for being one of my groomsmen. He thanked me. Unwrapped the box. Removed the lid.

An enormous, angry spider crawled out of the box onto Tom’s hand. The largest spider that wasn’t a tarantula I’d ever seen.

Tom is terrified of spiders. Deeply, profoundly frightened of them. He screamed, tossed the box into the air, and ran.

It was glorious.

Jeff’s gift to me was one of the best pranks I’ve ever perpetrated upon a person.

One of the best gifts I’ve ever been given.

So when Tom handed me a wrapped box at the exact location sixteen years later, I was worried. But it was for the kids, and Tom is a much better person than me. He would never seek revenge upon me via my children.

At least, I didn’t think so. Still, I was worried.

I arrived home after golf, handed the box to my kids, and invited them to open it. And I recorded the moment just in case something terrible emerged from the box.

No spider inside. Instead, two baseballs. Baseballs from the Yankees game we attended weeks before. Two baseballs that had been used in the game. Balls that had been pitched to major league batters and put aside after being hit or bounced in the dirt or caught to end an inning.

Certified, game played, major league baseballs from the game we had attended. A terrific gift, accompanied by a beautiful letter for my kids, which Clara read aloud as I recorded.

It was glorious.

Definitely not a spider.

Also, the second-best gift ever exchanged at Stankey Golf Course in New Britain, Connecticut.

The spider, of course, is still number one.

Resolution update: September 2023

Every month, I report the progress of my yearly goals to monitor progress (or the lack thereof) and hold myself accountable.  The following are the results from September 2023.PERSONAL FITNESS

1. Don’t die.

A car stopped dead on the exit from the George Washington Bridge amid a rainstorm, which created a dangerous situation for us, but we survived.

That was my closest call in September.

As always, I plan on living forever or die trying.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost the two pounds I had gained in August due to vacation and COVID-19, plus I lost one additional pound.

This brings my total weight down to 36 pounds in 2023. Still well ahead of the original goal of 20 pounds.

I won’t declare victory until I get through the year with sustained weight loss, but at the moment, the goal to lose 20 pounds and my revised goal of 30 pounds have been achieved.

Now that I’ve hit my new goal, I’m setting my sights on another 10 pounds, which would bring my total weight loss to 40 pounds.

Those last four pounds will likely be challenging.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and three one-minute planks five days a week.

Done.

4. Cycle for at least five days every week. 

Done. I cycled for all but three days in September. I was traveling on these three days, so biking was impossible.

5. Improve my golfing handicap by two strokes. 

My handicap at the start of the year was 17.6.

I played more than a dozen rounds of golf in September, including many mornings before work, but my handicap is holding steady at 20.9.

But improvement is happening. I need to hit my driver consistently and hit all of my clubs longer if I hope to improve significantly.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my eighth novel.

Progress has commenced! Completion by the end of the year is very doable.

7. Write my next Storyworthy book.

Done. Sent it off to the editor!

8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.

Three books are complete.

“Operation Beaver Drop” is going out to publishers soon.

“Rock a Bye Baby” and “Duel in the Sky” will be sent to my agent shortly.

“Rock a Bye Baby” features a female, non-white protagonist.

I’m working on a new one now.

9. Write a new solo show.

Done.

10. Perform a new solo show.

Done. Performed July 30 and 31 and August 1. I look forward to performing it again soon.

11. Write a musical.

My friend Kaia and I are writing a musical that we will also perform, even though I cannot sing. She writes the music and lyrics. She and I write the story.

We brainstormed ideas in August and came up with some exciting ideas. A new concept and some ideas for songs.

I need to write some of the story for Kaia to begin writing music.

12. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

No progress.

13. Write at least four letters to my father.

I wrote a birthday note to my father in March.

One letter has been sent in 2023 so far.

14. Write 100 letters in 2022.

Done.

Another 13 letters were sent in September, bringing the total number to 178.

Recipients included students, former students, a colleague, a former colleague, and a bank teller.

15. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.

No progress. There is probably a company that does this sort of thing.

Does anyone know of one?

16. Read at least 12 books. 

Done. Three books were read in September. A total of 16 books so far in 2023.

“The Wager” by David Grann
“The Other Wes Moore” by Wes Moore
“Million Dollar Maverick” by Alan Weiss

I’m in the middle of reading the following books:

“Holly” by Stephen King
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“The Groucho Letters” by Groucho Marx
“Smart Brevity” by Jim VendeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz

Sixteen books read so far in 2023.

“Sapiens” by Yuval Harari“Life’s a Gamble” by Mike Sexton“The Sea We Swim In” by Frank Rose“Born a Crime” by Trevor NoahThis Will All Be Over Soon” by Cecily Strong“Magic Words” by Jonah Berger“The Science of Storytelling” by William Storr“Slayers and Vampires” by Edward Gross and Mark Altman“Hooked: How to Produce Habit-Forming Products” by Nir Eyal“Tough Sh*t” by Kevin Smith“From Saturday Night to Sunday Night” by Dick Ebersol“The Ship Beneath the Ice” by Mensun Bound“Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t” by Steven Pressfield“The Wager” by David Grann“The Other Wes Moore” by Wes Moore“Million Dollar Maverick” by Alan Weiss

17. Read TIME’s 100 Best Children’s Books of All Time. 

I didn’t read any of these books in September. Reading will resume this month now that school has begun.

A total of 15 so far.

I’ve read many of the other books on the list in the past, but I am only counting those books I read in 2023 toward my goal.

18. Write to at least six authors about a book I love. 

No progress.

STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER

19. Complete the re-recording of Storyworthy For Business. 

“Storyworthy” for Business is complete and available for purchase. Find it and much more at storyworthymd.com.

I want to produce a much-improved version of the course ASAP. Module 1 is now re-recorded. A lot more needs to be done.

20. Record the next Storyworthy course.

Done.

Two brand-new courses have been added to the Storyworthy platform:

Finding Stories
Anatomy of a Story
Humor: Volume #1

I’m proud of all of them. You should check them out.

21. Produce a total of six Speak Up storytelling events in 2023

Three shows in 2023 so far:

April 22 at the Connecticut Historical SocietyMay 4, in partnership with Voices of HopeJuly 29 at Hartford Flavor Company

We have shows scheduled for November 4 at Wolcott School, December 4 at the Playhouse on Park, and December 16 in Middletown, CT.

22. Pitch myself to at least three upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done!

I spoke at a TEDx event at the University of Connecticut in January.

Due to the delay in posting a TEDx Talk from more than a year ago, my University of Connecticut talk will not be loaded onto the TED platform for reasons I don’t quite understand.

I also spoke at a TEDx event in Natick, MA, on April 13. It went quite well. That video should be online shortly.

I also pitched myself to TEDx events in Harlem, Roxbury, and on the campus of Yale University.

TEDx Harlem and TEDx Yale declined. TEDx Roxbury was canceled.

23. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended three Moth events in September—two in Boston and one in NYC.

A total of 13 Moth shows attended in 2023 thus far.

24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.

Done. I won the Moth StorySLAM in Boston on March 29.

25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I competed in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in May and did not win. I also had to go first, which is not exactly fun or conducive to winning.

I was invited to compete in the Seattle GrandSLAM in March and again in October, but traveling cross country was impossible.

I will be performing at the Moth GrandSLAM in NYC on November 1.

26. Produce at least 24 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.

No progress.

27. Perform stand-up at least six times in 2022.

I’ll perform stand-up at the New York City Comedy Festival in November.

28. Pitch three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

29. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

No progress.

30. Send a newsletter to readers at least 50 times. 

One newsletter was sent in September.

A total of 42 newsletters have been sent thus far in 2023.

HOME

31. Clear the basement.

Progress continues and is going well. Large furniture is now removed. Closing in on the finish line.

32. Clean and clear the garage.

A much-needed dumpster, a trip to the dump,  or perhaps a neighbor’s tag sale will be key to completing this task, but it’s nearly done. Large items need to be discarded, and a pile of school supplies needs to be organized or eliminated, but otherwise, it is almost complete.

33. Furnish and decorate the studio. 

Done!

34. Eliminate clothing not being worn and closet bins.

Done!

FAMILY/FRIENDS

35. Text or call my brother or sister once per month. 

Done.

36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.

Done.

37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.

After three consecutive months of multiple photos, only two photos were taken together in September. They were admittedly taken on the same day, about an hour apart.

38. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress.

39. I will not comment positively or negatively about the physical appearance of any person save my wife and children to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.

Done.

40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2023.

One surprise in September:

I noticed that Elysha was eyeing some simple syrups on Whidbey Island, so I took a photo of them and ordered them for her when we arrived home.

A total of 19 surprises so far in 2023, including:

Half a dozen birthday cards, all handmade, scattered throughout her life on her birthdayTickets to the upcoming Lizzo concertA Pusheen Mystery BoxGoodie bag of Trader Joe’s delightsCoat from Canyon RanchVisit from KathySurprise dessert delivered personally to her schoolAnother surprise surprise dessert delivered personally to her schoolAnother Pusheen Mystery BoxTickets to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Tina Fey/Amy Poehler, and Jenny LewisFlowers following Clara’s dance recitalFirst-class tickets on the flight back from DCFirst-class tickets on the flight to Everett, WAPusheen gift boxTickets to “Back to the Future” on BroadwayTickets to “Mrs. Doubtfire” at the BushnellA collection of simple syrups from Whidbey IslandRhode Island and Boston weekends planned with friends for the fallSimple syrups

41. Play poker at least six times in 2023.

No progress. It’s ridiculous since I love this game so much.

42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.

Three visits in September. Five total visits in 2023 so far.

MUSIC

43. Memorize the lyrics to at least five favorite songs. 

I’ve memorized the lyrics to two new songs so far.

I memorized the lyrics to “Lay It On Me” by Vance Joy.

I memorized the lyrics to “Come a Little Bit Closer” by Jay and the Americans.

I’m still working on Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way” and “Renegade” by Styx (with Charlie and Clara).

Others, too.

44. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week. 

Done.

MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS

45. Learn the names of every employee who works at my school.

I learned the names of four paraprofessionals and two certified staff members this month. Two new and four existing staff members.

46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.

Done! The wedding video and a great deal of other content were successfully extracted from my ancient Apple laptop. The footage was not removed in perfect order, so some work will need to be done to reassemble the parts of the video, but at last, this goal has been completed.

47. Memorize five new poems.

No progress. But there is a show in Hartford called Other People’s Poems, where you read (and perhaps recite poetry) from memory.

I had planned to attend in September, but a rescheduled Little League game interfered.

48. Write to at least three colleges about why they should hire me.

I have begun writing the letter, but I wonder if I would still want the job.

49. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

I’ve reached out to the folks who manage the cemeteries in Newington for assistance on this project in March.

No response.

Still need to reach out again.

50. Post my progress regarding these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.

Done!

Zombie on cake

After working as a DJ at hundreds of weddings, I’ve seen many, many wedding cakes, but nothing like this.

The ultimate compromise.

I think it bodes well for the future of this couple.

When it comes to unconventional and nonconforming choices like this, I believe that people fall into one of three camps:

I love it! It’s amazing! I wish I had done something like it at my wedding.It’s not for me, but isn’t it great how people are willing to go out on a limb to do something unique and different and buck conventional wisdom?This is stupid and tasteless. What could this couple been thinking?

I love and admire people who fall into the first camp.

I like and respect people who fall into the second camp.

I loathe and despise people who fall into the third camp.

Redundancy equals stupidity

This has not been an enjoyable 2023 season for New York Yankee fans.

When a baseball season is coming to a close, and you find yourself rooting for your beloved Bronx Bombers to avoid last place in the division – a spot currently occupied by the Red Sox – it’s not the result you were hoping for back in April.

“At least they beat the Red Sox” isn’t exactly a World Series run.

I also find myself looking for other ways to soothe my disappointment.

Here’s one small thing:

The Philadephia Phillies have made the playoffs as a wildcard team. Good for them, but what kind of name is the Phillies?

The franchise’s original name was the Philadephia Quakers but was soon changed to the Philadelphia Philadelphians, which is quite ridiculous and even worse when said aloud. But instead of replacing that stupid, redundant name with a far better name, the organization simply shortened their stupid name into what they believed to be a less stupid name.

How stupid of them.

So, the Philadephia Phillies is a name that indicates the team’s hometown. Twice.

Imagine if other major league teams took Philadelphia’s lead and started naming their team similarly.

The New York Yorkies.

The Boston Bosties.

The San Diego San Diegoies.

Yes, my team didn’t make the playoffs this year, but at least their name (and even their Bronx Bombers nickname) are far better than the playoff-bound Philadelphia Phillies.

New York City Comedy Festival

Exciting news!

I’ll be performing in the New York Comedy Festival in November. I’ll be doing stand-up alongside other comedians in “Andrew Ginsburg and Friends” at Don’t Tell Mama in New York City’s theater district on November 8 at 7:00 PM.

If you’re in the city and want to stop by, tickets are available here.

Do not delay

On October 21, 2009, I wrote about The Moth for the first time.

I’d been listening to their podcast for a while and wrote that I was “flirting with the idea of creating a Connecticut version of The Moth,” which was then based in New York, Los Angeles, Detroit, and Chicago.

But that day – October 21, 2009 – I learned that The Moth was looking for potential storytellers as they prepared to launch their new Moth Radio Hour, so I pitched my first story to them on The Moth pitchline, which still exists today.

I submitted a two-minute pitch about my pole vaulting escapades in high school.

That pitch went unanswered.

So, 629 days later, on July 12, 2011, I went to New York City to tell a story at a Moth StorySLAM competition at the famed Nuyorican Poets Cafe. I dropped my name in the hat, and when it was called, I told my first story onstage.

It was a story about my pole vaulting escapades in high school.

I won that StorySLAM competition, and thus, my career in storytelling had begun.

That single competition changed my life forever. Since that first StorySLAM in 2011, I’ve competed in 103 Moth StorySLAMs in New York City, Boston, Seattle, and Washington, DC, winning 59 of them. I’ve also competed in 33 GrandSLAM championships, winning 9 of them, and I’ve performed in The Moth’s prestigious Mainstage shows many times nationwide.

All that success led me and Elysha to launch that “Connecticut version of The Moth” in the spring of 2013 which we called Speak Up. We’ve produced more than 100 shows throughout Connecticut and Massachusetts in theaters large and small, and our stages have been graced with famed storytellers, local celebrities, comedians, authors, first-timers, the children of Holocaust survivors, the founder of The Moth, the artistic director of The Moth, and a United States Senator.

All of that success soon led to my performing career, my consulting career, my online business, TEDx Talks, standup comedy, magazine columns, solo shows, comic books, and Storyworthy, my book on storytelling.

Another book on storytelling will land in bookstores next year.

Along the way, I’ve met some amazing people. Shared stages with famous people. Made many new friends.

It all sounds lovely, but please don’t miss the enormous problem with my journey:

629 days.

I waited 629 days to finally make it to New York City to tell a story.

The Moth was already producing StorySLAMs back in 2009, and I was well aware of their existence. Less than 120 miles south of my home, a stage existed already where I was welcomed to perform, but I waited 629 days to finally do so.

Almost two years passed before I finally found my way to Manhattan to begin my journey.

What stopped me?

Mostly fear, which stops most people from making their dreams come true.

Not the fear of public speaking. I’ve been speaking publicly all my life and have blessedly never been afraid of standing before people and speaking about almost anything.

Instead, I was afraid of the unknown. Afraid of failure. Fearful of not being good enough. Afraid of not being even close to being good enough. Afraid that I was an imposter. Afraid that I didn’t belong amongst the best storytellers in the world.

I was also trapped by the tremendous power of inertia. It’s far easier to remain in a place of comfort and security than move forward into struggle, hardship, and uncertainty. Most people lead lives of quiet desperation, not because they don’t have dreams, but because the action required to make dreams come true is costly, risky, and hard.

I also lacked vision. I failed to recognize how opening the door to storytelling might lead me to a whole new world. Instead of allowing for the possibility of transformation, I viewed storytelling as a singular, granular opportunity, absent any likelihood of expansion.

Therefore it could wait. I wasn’t in any rush to make that dream come true.

Thankfully, I only waited 629 days to begin my journey. It only took me 629 days to conquer my fear, escape the gravitational pull of inertia, and move forward.

Unfortunately, tragically, I waited 629 days to begin my journey. Nearly two years of lost possibility.

Where might I be today had I not allowed two years to pass before converting my dream into action? I’ll never know.

It’s impossible to measure the cost of possibility unrealized. It’s impossible to know what might have been.

But here is what I know for sure:

Delay is death. Delay kills possibility. Delay murders your future and destroys your dreams. Every day of delay increases the chances that it will metastasize into immutability.

Delay long enough and you will find yourself in a state of quiet, permanent desperation

Do not delay. Delay is death.

Early morning perfection

I played golf on four mornings before work last week.

I’m lucky. Buena Vista Golf Course is less than three miles from the school where I work. It’s an executive course – a short, compact nine holes – so I can walk the course in about 75 minutes if I’m playing alone.

I tee off at sunrise – currently 6:30 AM – and finish by 7:45 AM. Ten minutes later, I’m pulling into the parking lot of my school, more than 30 minutes before the bell.

It’s a fantastic way to start my day. Fresh air, exercise, concentration, passion, and the pursuit of excellence. Last week I saw three deer, a coyote, and untold numbers of hawks and rabbits.

The joy I feel while walking through that early morning mist, bag strapped to my back, as the sun rises and the sky brightens is indescribable.

A colleague recently discovered that I’d been playing before work, and she was shocked. Appalled, even.

“Don’t you have papers to correct?” she asked. “Lessons to plan? What about your family?”

As for the family, I make breakfast before leaving the house. Feed the cats. Fold laundry. Empty the dishwasher. Set out the lunches. Write for about an hour.

The family is good. Excellent, in fact.

As for the lessons and grading, it all eventually gets done, and it almost never gets done at sunrise.

I’ve been texting photos of the golf course to this colleague every morning, both to poke fun at her protests and encourage her to join me someday.

She tells me she’s too busy.

I told her this:

“Everything eventually gets done. The only thing we let down, ignore, or fail is ourselves.”

She may join me next week.

Kidnapped?

Clara is telling my nephew about some of the more unusual moments of my life:

“He’s been hit by a car. Twice! He went through a windshield! And died! Twice! He was homeless! And in jail!”

Hitting just a few of the many highlights…

My nephew, looking a little shocked, asks, “Have you ever been kidnapped?”

I pause. Consider the question for a moment. Then I answer:

“A little.”

I had to track down a few details of the story from my sister, but it essentially goes like this:

Maria, a substitute babysitter, is taking care of my brother, Jeremy, my sister, Kelli, and me on a summer day because our regular babysitter, Lisa, is unavailable to work. She has a date with her boyfriend.

I’m about eight or nine years old, meaning my brother, Jeremy, and my sister, Kelli, are one and two years younger than me, respectively. I’m already babysitting my brother and sister when my parents go out at night, but apparently, the long, summer days are too much for me, so my mother hires teenage girls to care for us.

Today, it’s Maria, a friend of Lisa who has filled in for her before.

But Maria is also secretly fooling around with Lisa’s boyfriend, and apparently, it’s been going on for some time.

Despite his infidelity, I like Lisa’s boyfriend a lot because he takes me for rides on his motorcycle. No helmet, of course, and without the knowledge of my parents.

It’s the late ’70s. The world is insane. Safety is not a concern for anyone.

On this particular day, Lisa somehow discovers her boyfriend’s infidelity – probably while on their date – and comes to our house to beat Maria up.

Maria discovers that Lisa is coming to the house, so she shoves us into the closet in our parents’ bedroom, where we all hide, hoping Lisa will think we went for a walk or to my grandparents’ house up the hill. When Lisa finally leaves, Maria throws us into her car and drives us to a partially built home at a construction site on Elm Street, where we hide for the day.

It’s raining, and the house has no roof, so we get very wet.

Maria tells no one about our whereabouts. She brings us home just before my mother arrives home and doesn’t say a word about our adventure.

My mother finds out only because Kelli tells on Maria. She’s always hated Maria.

Kidnapping? Probably not, but close. Maria removed us from our home without informing my parents and lept us for the day, despite our protestations and pleading to go home.

But probably not kidnapping.

Child endangerment? Some violation of custodial duty? Maybe.

As my sister said, “She could’ve been arrested for taking us had it happened today.”

Even if it wasn’t quite kidnapping, my nephew was impressed.

 

Teachers, this is our time…

My fellow teachers:

I humbly suggest that given the massive teacher shortages that school districts are experiencing around the country, we must recognize that our value to our school districts and society has never been higher.

People have long claimed that teachers change the world. They assert that education is the backbone of our country. Then, they fail to demonstrate this belief in any meaningful way.

They fail to provide the bare essentials for a classroom, for example, requiring teachers to use their own money to purchase supplies for their students.

In fact, it’s become quite popular these days to use social media to offer to help a teacher pay for the needs of their classroom. This is exceptionally generous but also absolutely insane. Teachers should not depend upon the kindness of others to do their job. Americans are not offering to purchase legal pads for attorneys, stethoscopes for doctors, adding machines for accountants, drafting tables for architects, or pocket protectors for computer programmers.

Why are we tacitly acknowledging that teachers are using their own money to purchase classroom supplies but not trying desperately to fix a clearly broken system?

Elysha was purchasing supplies for her classroom last month when someone in line heard that she was a teacher and offered to pay for her purchases. It was an act of kindness that brought tears to her eyes, but rather than hoping to bump into a teacher in line at Staples and help out a bit, how about this instead:

Demand that your local schools be funded to a level that meets the needs of every student. Vote for candidates who promise to do these things. Fight like hell to support professionals educating the next generation of Americans. Treat teachers like the highly educated, highly trained, critically important professionals that they are.

No other professional is required to purchase the basic supplies needed to complete their job. It’s a disgrace, and it’s been going on for decades.

Today, teachers face many new challenges:

The politicization of our profession. School districts are now faced with people who believe their mere existence allows them to dictate what and how we teach in our classrooms.A lack of adequate staffingThreats of violenceSchool shootings

In addition, teacher pay is lagging at astronomical levels. The UAW is currently on strike. They are asking for a salary increase of more than 30% over the next four years, which may sound like a lot, but given automobile manufacturer profits, executive pay, concessions made by the union in 2008 to keep these companies afloat, and inflation, it’s not a ridiculous ask.

By contrast, most teachers receive annual wage increases of less than 3%, which means that over the last two years, teachers have experienced a substantial decrease in salary relative to inflation.

As a result, teacher shortages are real. Vacancies have never been higher. Administrators are struggling to fill classrooms with highly trained professionals. Staffing shortages exist nationwide.

With this in mind, my fellow teachers, I suggest that we demand to be treated like the highly educated, highly skilled professionals we are. When you have leverage, use it. Right now, teachers have an enormous amount of leverage.

For example:

If you’re spending your own money on classroom or student supplies, stop. It should shame and humiliate a school board and administrators to know this is happening in their school district, and they should do every damn thing in their power to end this practice and ensure that teachers have the materials needed to teach their students.

If your school or district has arbitrarily expanded your workload to meet staffing shortages, absent any form of compensation, push back hard on this decision. Professionals are not required to work longer hours without additional compensation or advancement of any kind.

If you work for an administrator who doesn’t allow you to leave the school during your lunch break to pick up food, run an errand, stop at home to kiss your child, or do anything else on your time, challenge this asinine absurdity. Professionals are permitted to use their free time however they see fit. If you work for one of these administrators, you work for an infantilizing fool who doesn’t understand the basic principles of management and professionalism.

Push back hard. Demand that your time is recognized as your time.

Or how about this one:

Your administrator gives you the last two hours of professional development to work on report cards but forbids you to leave the building to do this work at home. Even though the completion of your report cards only requires a laptop and a connection to the internet and can be done anywhere on the planet (and will most assuredly be done at home on your own time as well), the two hours of professional development given to complete this task during the work day must be completed within the walls of the school.

This is asinine. Professionals are not treated like this. It should not matter where you complete this kind of work. Having worked with a multitude of clients in almost every possible sector of business, I can assure you that when work can be done remotely, people are permitted to work wherever the hell they want.

Many of these problems are the result of the way that so many schools are run today:

Administrators, who are often little more than glorified teachers lacking formal management training, treat their staff the same way they once treated their students. They impose the same strategies and limits on adults as they did on kids because the only way they know how to manage people is to pretend that their school is one big classroom filled with much older, much larger children.

The primary reason teachers leave the profession?

Dissatisfaction

The reasons cited for this dissatisfaction?

Unsafe working environments. Micromanagement. Not being treated like a professional.

I’m lucky. I have worked for (and currently work for) administrators who avoid most of these pitfalls. For most of my career, I have been treated as a professional, and when I was not, I was able to demand that policies be changed with a fair amount of success. I’m not always pleased with the way my school district is run, but most of the people to whom I report have treated me like the highly trained professional that I am.

This is not the case for many of my fellow teachers. The infantilization and degradation of the teaching profession is a real thing. Untrained, unskilled, uninformed administrators routinely chase outstanding teachers from the profession through their inability to support and manage their people effectively.

But today, teachers have leverage. Our skills are in demand. Schools nationwide are placing thousands of untrained adults in classrooms because they cannot find teachers and staff to fill open positions.

If you’re working in a school that does not treat teachers like professionals, the time has come to let your thoughts be heard.

Teachers deserve better. They have always deserved better. We may now be in a position to demand better.

My favorite flag of all time

The study of flags is known as vexilology. The North American Vexillology Association is the largest organization in the world for flag enthusiasts and scholars.

Roman Mars did a TED Talk in 2015 about flag design that you should watch.

The Kingdom of Benin, also known as the Edo Kingdom or the Benin Empire, was a kingdom that once existed within what is now southern Nigeria.

This flag, brought to Britain by Lieutenant F. W. Kennedy after an expedition, may have been the Kingdom of Benin’s flag.

If not, it was the flag of some group of people living in Africa.

Either way, it’s my favorite flag of all time.