Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 71
October 30, 2023
Hamster wheel across the Atlantic
Florida man Reza Baluchi was arrested after trying to “run to London” across the Atlantic Ocean in a homemade vessel resembling a hamster wheel. Officials said the 44-year-old marathon runner refused to leave the vessel for three days.
He had tried three similar voyages before, all of which ended in Coast Guard intervention.
The makeshift contraption is shaped like a wheel, with paddles designed to propel it forward as the wheel revolves.
“Based on the condition of the vessel – which was afloat as a result of wiring and buoys, Coast Guard officers determined Baluchi was conducting a manifestly unsafe voyage,” the criminal complaint says.
The whole adventure sounds pretty stupid, and his last encounter with the Coast Guard included a bomb threat in an effort to be left alone, but I can’t help but be impressed with this man’s relentlessness and tenacity.
THREE TIMES! The man has attempted this seeming act of lunacy three times!
And who’s to judge? Lots of people seemed crazy while attempting to do something for the first time, only to be celebrated as innovators and heroes later on.
As Steve Jobs famously said in Apple’s “Think Different” campaign:
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo.”
Sinead O’Connor was vilified for ripping up a photo of the Pope on SNL to protest child abuse in the church long before anyone was talking about it.
Physician Ignaz Semmelweis instituted handwashing protocols in his obstetric clinic in the 1840s and lowered mortality rates from 18.27% to 1.27%. For his efforts, he was ignored and ostracized by the medical community and terminated fired from his post. It would take almost two decades for germ theory to become accepted by the medical community and for handwashing to become a standard of care in hospitals.
Rose McGowan was ostracized and blacklisted for talking about Harvey Weinstein’s sexual abuse long before anyone believed her.
Giordano Bruno was the first European to propose the possibility that not only was the universe infinite, but stars were possibly suns with their own planets and that some of those planets might even host life.
The Catholic Church had him tried for heresy and burned him at the stake for those claims.
I don’t think attempting to run across the Atlantic Ocean in this contraption is a good idea, and I don’t think he should be burned at the stake for trying, but a lot of great ideas once seemed pretty terrible until proven right.
It seems unlikely that this one will end well, but I admire the hell out of Reza Baluchi’s relentless spirit and willingness to do something that most think foolish, dangerous, and purposeless.
Here’s to the crazy ones.
October 29, 2023
Why are convenience store clerks on the phone?
Serious, unimportant question:
Why are convenience store clerks always on the phone?
I don’t know anyone who uses a phone as a phone on a regular basis. People try like hell to avoid talking to people on their devices, opting instead for text messages, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Signal, Telegram, and even Facebook Messenger.
But it seems like every time I walk into a convenience store, the clerk is speaking on the phone. I know they are often working alone for long periods of time, but when I am alone for long periods of time, I never think to call a friend.
Why would I do such a terrible thing to someone?
These convenience store conversations never slow down my transactions or bother me at all. I’m not complaining.
I just don’t get it.
October 28, 2023
Autumn love
October 27, 2023
Comedy stylings of PBS?
When I was growing up, I watched “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” and “The Benny Hill Show” – two British comedies – on the local PBS station.
Every night, these comedies would air back-to-back.
Thank goodness. They were such a joy to me, and I’m sure they had an influence on what I found and still find funny today.
It occurs to me:
Why were these unorthodox, norm-smashing, often bawdy, occasionally racy, and sometimes rude comedies on the same station that featured shows like Nova, Sesame Street, The Joy of Painting, and This Old House?
October 26, 2023
Beauty and enlightenment at top speed
When a man becomes a writer, I think he takes on a sacred obligation to produce beauty and enlightenment and comfort at top speed.- Kurt Vonnegut
Vonnegut is one of my favorite writers, so it’s hard to argue his point.
But I’ll add that “beauty and enlightenment” are aspirational. You need not be able to produce either to become a writer. It would be ideal, of course, and it will probably increase both readership and profits, but you can be a writer without producing either of these things.
We write to be known. To be remembered. To improve our skills. To connect with others. To find meaning in our lives. To tell the stories that reside in our hearts and minds.
These reasons and a million more.
“Top speed,” however? Produce your work at top speed?
Yes, I agree with Vonnegut. Wholeheartedly. It’s how I’ve been living my life for a long, long time.
Many people sent me messages after seeing the musical Hamilton commenting on how the song “Non-Stop” reminded them so much of me.
Why do you write like you’re running out of time?
Write day and night like you’re running out of time?
Every day you fight, like you’re running out of time?
How do you write like you need it to survive?
How do you write every second you’re alive?
Every second you’re alive? Every second you’re alive?Hamilton also apparently wrote at top speed, just like Vonnegut advises.I suspect it’s for two distinct reasons, similar to my own:1. We have a lot to say. Perhaps too much to say. I’ve written a blog post every day for the last 19 years without ever missing a day. Add to that a dozen books, hundreds of magazine columns, thousands of letters, four musicals, poems, and much more. Add to that the hundreds of stories, two solo shows, stand-up sets, and other public speaking performances that I’ve performed onstage.I’m sure much of it wasn’t exactly scintillating content (and a lot less impressive than Hamilton’s or Vonneguet’s prose), but still, I always have something to say, even when people would like me to shut the hell up.2. We are under no illusion that tomorrow is guaranteed. It’s not easy to carry the burden of an everpresent, relentless awareness of your mortality on your back, but it certainly encourages you to move at top speed. It fans the flames of desire and creativity when you live in constant terror that tomorrow is an illusion.Hamilton was also giving birth to a new nation, which perhaps lit an additional fire under his belt.Hamilton and I also came from humble beginnings with much to prove, which also helped, I think, but Hamilton was also an immigrant, which probably fueled his fire even more.Hamilton also didn’t suffer through meaningless meetings or useless professional development seminars. He wasn’t schlepping his kids to Little League games and dance practice and Scout meetings. He wasn’t asked to fill out questionnaires online prior to a doctor’s visit, only to answer the same damn questions with paper and pen when you arrive 15 minutes early for your appointment that is 30 minutes late.So maybe he had more time, too.Lucky him.
October 25, 2023
How Mrs. Schultz’s “No TV for a week!” changed my life
When I was in sixth grade, my homeroom and math teacher, Mrs. Schultz, offered a challenge:
One week without television. A screen-free week. If you could spend an entire week without watching TV, she would award you an A as an additional test grade in her grade book.
This was 1982 when the only screen in my life – or anyone’s life – was the television screen. It was also a time when television was appointment viewing. If I missed an episode of “Cheers” or “Newhart” or “The A-Team,” I might never see that episode again.
An extra test grade would hardly be worth the effort.
Then Mrs. Shultz said, “Of course, none of you will be able to pull it off.”
Smart lady. I didn’t care about the test grade, but if you want to convince me to do something, tell me I can’t. I will run through walls to prove someone wrong, particularly if the person is an authority figure.
I wasn’t going to avoid television for a week. I was going to stop watching for two weeks.
There was one caveat to her challenge:
I was allowed to watch the news. As much as I wanted. Whenever I wanted.
“The news?” I thought. “Who wants to watch the news?”
I had no intention of watching that boring nonsense.
But on the second day of the challenge, already feeling the pain of missing out on my favorite television shows, I turned on the news for the first time in my life. I was an early riser, even back then, so around 5:00 in the morning, I turned on WBEZ in Boston and watched my very first newscast.
By the end of the first week, I was hooked.
At the time, the Tylenol murders gripped the nation, and I followed the story every day. The mid-term elections were approaching, and I was learning about the Senate, the House of Representatives, Democrats, and Republicans for the first time. The United States was in recession. Unemployment was soaring. The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was scheduled to open on The Mall and was getting constant coverage.
Other things, too, I’m sure. Events I can’t recall today but meant a lot to me back then.
I started following the news for the first time that week and have never stopped. I became engrossed in the national and world events, and I began to see how the decisions of others were impacting my life. I began to see the news as one big, all-encompassing story – an interlocking series of events that changed the world almost daily.
Most importantly, I was in that story. I was a character in the events taking place around me.
I began reading our daily newspaper. Stealing magazines from dentist’s and doctor’s offices. Turning on AM radio when I was in the car. Before long, I began writing political cartoons. My essay topics shifted from the awfulness of the Friday pizza to Thatcher’s handling of the Falkland Islands War. I found myself debating Reagonomics at the dinner table with my stepfather. I was confused about why so many friends didn’t know names like Tip O’Neill, Bob Dole, Richard Byrd, Wiliam Renquist, and Sanda Day O’Connor.
That simple challenge – stop watching television for a week – transformed me into a citizen of my state, my country, and the world.
It changed my life forever.
I’ve reconnected with many of the teachers and principals of my childhood who made a difference in my life, but I’ve never been able to find Mrs. Shultz to thank her for this and so many other small acts of kindness that I still remember today.
I hope she knows how much her former students appreciate her.
As a teacher, she offered me an important lesson:
You never know what will make a difference in a student’s life. You’ll never know what collection of words will turn a life in a new and positive way. So, keep talking. Reaching out. Connecting. Challenging. Filling your students’ lives with as much knowledge, wisdom, and opportunity as possible, knowing that much will be forgotten, but one tiny decision might change their lives forever.
October 24, 2023
My Steely Dan second chance
A friend on social media recently wondered how I could despise Steely Dan’s music as much as I do. He said some generous things about my intellect and taste but couldn’t fathom how I stood so opposed to Steely Dan’s music, given my appreciation of other things.
So I thought:
Maybe he’s right.
Perhaps I formed my opinion of Steely Dan too early in my life when I was less informed and open-minded about music. Maybe I was experiencing a bad day when I decided to despise Steely Dan’s songs.
Maybe I should give Steely Dan another chance.
So I did. I spent an afternoon and evening giving Steely Dan an honest shake. Listening to much of their music. Wondering if I might suddenly find myself loving these songs as much as Elysha and so many others.
Nope. Still hate it.
In trying to describe my reasons to Elysha, I explained that I don’t feel like the music goes anywhere. It never climbs to great heights or dips to quiet lows. It just sits there, chugging along, rhythmic, flat, and unsurprising. It sounds, to me, like a fusion between jam band, jazz, and disco, and I don’t like any of those musical genres, either.
It’s funk without the funk. Rock that doesn’t really rock.
I don’t like it one bit.
I lean toward drama in music. I like songs that force me to pay attention. I want to feel like I’ve been taken on a journey of great highs and tragic lows. I like music to tell me a story. It’s why I can love musicians as divergent as Springsteen, Taylor Swift, Queen, Lyle Lovett, Dolly Parton, John Denver, The Violent Femmes, Meatloaf, and many more.
Their music demands attention. Each song is a journey. They tell a story. The lyrics are sensible and discernible. Their songs make you think, visualize, and feel.
Sometimes, all three.
Steely Dan is like a train moving down a track. The lyrics are often nonsensical, and the music can effectively operate in the background without stifling thought or conversation. It is not distracting or demanding.
This is not for me.
I’m not saying it’s bad music. It’s simply bad music for my heart and mind. If I was more of a musician, I might appreciate it more. I might hear some of the greatness that I am missing.
But to me, it’s uninteresting music. Forgettable music. Music without a strong point of view or a serious attitude.
But I gave it another chance. Open-minded, honest, and fair, which I think is important.
There was a time when I thought “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” was a stupid television show. I once considered audiobooks literary trash. For a long time, I assumed “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” was just another stupid game show. I took one look at brie and said, “No, thank you.” I thought snow pants were a nonsense clothing item designed for children.
And I had heard a smattering of music from Lyle Lovett and said, “Country? Yuck!”
I changed my mind about all these things and many others, thanks to the insistence of friends to give these things a fair chance. Thank goodness I did.
I tried to do the same with Steely Dan. The outcome was the same, but the process, as always, was important.
October 23, 2023
A maybe-not-so spoiled Sunday
I couldn’t attend the Patriots game yesterday afternoon at Gillette Stadium. I missed an exciting last-minute comeback victory and a burger-fueled tailgate with friends on one of the best autumn afternoons of the year to watch a football game.
It was also the game Elysha was scheduled to attend – a once-per-year event that I always look forward to.
I missed the game because rain on Friday and Saturday postponed Charlie’s Little League playoff game to Sunday afternoon, thus spoiling my football fun.
As a result, I awoke on Sunday morning feeling both sad and annoyed. Frustrated by the weather and baseball player’s inability to play the game in the rain. I had also spent most of Saturday DJing a wedding, so I had really been looking forward to a day of football and friends.
So, instead, I replaced a glorious day at Gillette Stadium with a morning of golf. Since it was a last-minute decision, I played alone, listening to Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours” as I walked the course and watched the sunrise. I chipped in a birdie, parred a couple of holes, and watched two hawks circle each other in the sky.
Then we were off to Old Wethersfield for a fantastic breakfast at a newly discovered cafe, followed by a walk down Main Street, which is currently lined by scarecrows of every kind:
Barbie, Taylor Swift, The Witch of Blackbird Pond, Harry Potter, and many more. We posed with our favorites, popped into a lovely little shop, and played a storytelling game on the car ride home.
After some chores, I rode my bike for an hour before watching the aforementioned Patriots game on television. I ate potato chips, folded laundry, petted the cats, and cheered from a seat that was admittedly more comfortable but a lot less close to the action than my seats at Gillette Stadium.
Finally, we were off to Charlie’s playoff game. We hung out with friends, ate burgers, and watched his team attempt their own comeback victory before sadly falling short. Charlie’s baseball season ended with him sliding into home plate as a runner was forced out at second base.
I was more than a little annoyed by the rain and the relentless Little League schedule, and I was saddened by missing the Patriots game and our traditional tailgate with friends.
You don’t get to see too many last-minute comeback victories, especially lately. And missing my day at Gillette with Elysha made it all a little worse.
But I found a way to make the best of it, and sometimes, if you try like hell to make the best of it, the best of it can be pretty close to the best.
If I had my choice, I think I would’ve preferred to have spent the day at Gillette Stadium with Elysha, my friends, and those Patriots players, but not by much.
Maybe not at all.
October 22, 2023
Attosecond is ridiculous
The Nobel Prize in physics was awarded this week to scientists for their studies that resulted in new tools for exploring the movement of electrons inside atoms and molecules, a phenomenon that was long thought impossible to trace.
Changes in electrons occur in a few tenths of an attosecond, which is a unit of time…
Buckle up for this one.
… a unit of time so short that there are as many attoseconds in one second as there have been seconds since the birth of the universe.
When I told this to Charlie, he stared at me for a moment, then said, “Say that again.”
I did. I’ll say it again for you, too:
There are as many attoseconds in one single second as there have been seconds since the birth of the universe.
When I repeated this to Charlie, he said, “Give me a few minutes to wrap my mind around that.”
I’m not sure if he’s managed to do so, but I certainly haven’t. Somehow, some way, scientists have discovered a means of measuring the movement of electrons in units of time so small that there are more of them in a single second than seconds that have ever existed in the history of the universe.
Science is sometimes unfathomable.
Scientists sometimes seem more like wizards than people of great learning and knowledge.
Also, my brain still hurts just thinking about attoseconds.
