Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 633

Every boy loves Nessie

As a boy, I will be extremely upset if incontrovertible evidence of the Loch Ness Monster is unearthed after I die.

Every boy on the planet wants the Loch Ness Monster to be real. 

The latest string of Nessie sightings, including this new photo, only serves to frustrate me more. 

Is it never sunny at a loch? 

This is why I have no intention of dying. 

At least until all the Scottish lochs are drained or a plesiosaur-like creature is pulled from the water by a local fisherman.

Every boys loves Nessie

As a boy, I will be extremely upset if incontrovertible evidence of the Loch Ness Monster is unearthed after I die.

Every boy on the planet wants the Loch Ness Monster to be real. 

The latest sting of Nessie sightings, including this new photo, only serves to frustrate me more. 

Is it never sunny at a loch? 

This is why I have no intention of dying. 

At least until all the Scottish lochs are drained or a plesiosaur-like creature is pulled from the water by a local fisherman.

I want this guy on my team

Regardless of your position (and I don't pretend to know enough about the Wisconsin budget situation to possess an informed opinion), you have to admire Wisconsin state representative Gordon Hintz's passion.

I don't think he's faking it.

Obama and Dicks simpatico

It took me more than two weeks, but I finally sat down to watch President Obama's live interview with Fox's Bill O'Reilly prior to the Super Bowl.

I didn't think O'Reilly was nearly as disrespectful as some have claimed.  He interrupted the President on several occasions and dismissed some of his responses, but it seemed like a frank discussion to me.

Little transpired by way of substance, but I credit the President for agreeing to the interview.  I didn't doubt that he would hold his own on such a large stage, but this wasn't exactly a fair and balanced journalist asking the questions. 

The highlight for me came in Obama's decision to conduct a nationally televised interview without wearing a tie and the two shots he took at O'Reilly for his decision to wear one himself. 

Obama also answered that one of the worst parts of his job was the need to wear a jacket on Super Bowl Sunday. 

Upon assuming the Presidency, Obama dispensed with the jacket and tie formality in the Oval Office, and since then, he has repeatedly demonstrated a willingness to challenge and dispense with the nonsensical authority that society has bestowed upon a necktie  and jacket.

Having decided to never wear a tie again, it is nice to see that the leader of the free world seems to at least be leaning toward my seemingly lonely end of the bell curve on this issue. 

ESPN was listening

One day after I criticize ESPN for a stupid design decision, they promote their front page video with this image: 

Much, much better.

Finally. A solution.

The People's Bank ATM prompted me with this message today:

Would you like your preferred language at this and all other People's Bank ATMs to be set to English?

What? 

You're not going to ask me if I speak Polish or Cantonese or Swahili every time I need cash?

It's about freaking time.  

Should boys and girls be allowed to compete against one another in high school wrestling? Of course. Not. Maybe. I dont know.

I never wrestled (my school didn't have a wrestling team), but for a year, I served as a practice dummy of sorts for members of the Brockton High School wrestling team when I was living in town and managing the local McDonald's.  I was about five years older than the guys I was wrestling, and although their technique and expertise routinely kicked my butt, I was able to inflict some damage upon them and put up a decent fight because of my size.

This is what wrestling is about: inflicting damage on your opponent.  It is an aggressive, oftentimes violent, sometimes bloody sport in which two competitors try to pin one another on a mat using technique, endurance and pain. 

This is why I am still not sure how to feel about Joel Northrup, the high school wrestler with a 35-4 record who forfeited his first round match in the Iowa state tournament rather than competing against female wrestler Cassy Herkelman.

Herkleman and Megan Black were the first girls to qualify for the state tournament. 

My first reaction when I read about Northrup's decision: 

What a sexist jerk. 

But then I read his statement:

"I have a tremendous amount of respect for Cassy and Megan and their accomplishments. However, wrestling is a combat sport and it can get violent at times.  As a matter of conscience and my faith I do not believe that it is appropriate for a boy to engage a girl in this manner. It is unfortunate that I have been placed in a situation not seen in most other high school sports in Iowa."

I think he might be right. 

Maybe. 

While I am not opposed to men and women competing on the same field of play in almost all circumstance, I feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with young men and women competing in sports like wrestling or boxing against one another. 

Even if the woman is willing and eager to participate, there's something in the DNA of most men that tells us not to hit a woman.  This includes slamming her body to the mat, applying a hold meant to inflict pain and otherwise engaging in physical combat. 

I think I admire Northrup for his decision. 

I think I might have felt the same way.   

Although if my daughter, Clara, wanted to wrestle someday and her opponent forfeited because she is a girl, I think I'd be angry, too.

Understanding but angry. 

Then again, if Clara did choose to wrestle and I watched some high school boy slam her down on the mat, bloody her nose and wrench her arm behind her back, I don't think I'd be very happy either.  

This is not as easy as it looks. 

ESPN fail: A simple design decision gone awry

Last night's NBA freshman-sophomore scrimmage was filled with playground-style dunks, fast break offense and sparse defense.  

Bounce pass alley-oops, off-the-glass jams and other plays you'd never see in a competitive basketball game. 

Yet it was this image that that ESPN chose as the splash card for their video highlights of the game:

Wizard's point guard John Wall doing who-knows-what, trailed by a skeptical referee.

It's the little things that make me crazy.

 

Here's the actual video in case you were interested in watching and noting the disparity between this image and the actual video footage. 

Brilliant restroom redesign

I don't have a problem with adjacent urinals in a men's room, but even so, this would seem to make a lot of sense. 

Right?

The survivors are more menacing than the zombies

I spent the night battling zombies again in a zombie apocalypse nightmare.

Nothing about these end-of-world dreams is fun, but the three most disturbing things aspects of these dreams have nothing to do with the actual zombies.  It's the behavior of my friends and comrades that I find most disturbing. 

Specifically: 

1.  The amount of time I spend trying to convince people that a lifetime of fleeing from the ever-growing zombie horde is still better than a quick and painless death.   

2.  The number of times that I am forced to leave friends and family member behind because they are too slow or too concerned with gathering their belongings. 

Last night I had to drag my sister-in-law out of her apartment, explaining as I did that the world as we knew it was ending and the need for photo albums and moisturizers was going to be questionable at best on a zombie-infested planet. 

3.  The number of people who waste their own life trying to save someone who is clearly doomed.  It's as if these people have no innate sense of probability and statistics.  They are constantly running back into zombie-filled buildings on the one-in-a-nothing chance that their friend, sibling or spouse has not already been devoured by the zombie horde.

If the zombie apocalypse ever arrives, follow my lead.