Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 394

Skinned knees are no big deal. Preferable, even.

My wife doesn’t even flinch at the sight of a bloody knee.

She quickly and dispassionately tells my daughter that skinned knees are a sign that she had fun. Even Band-Aids are optional when it comes to wounded knees.

My daughter has embraced this idea. She wears her skinned knees like bloody badges of honor.

It’s important to choose a spouse who will also be a good mother to your children. I knew Elysha would be good, but I never realized how good. 

 

Four of my books and one dead unicorn

A photo of my books at The Strand in New York, sent to me by a friend.

I especially like how Death of a Unicorn is sandwiched between the soft and hardcover editions of Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend.

I’m always asking my students for a unicorn sandwich.

They never find my request as amusing as I do.

Speak Up at The Mount!

Elysha and I are thrilled to announce that we are taking Speak Up on the road for the first time!

The Mount, the former home of famed novelist Edith Wharton, has asked us to bring Speak Up to their location in Lenox, Massachusetts, for a show on Saturday, October 18 at 8:00 PM.

The show will feature 5-6 storytellers, telling stories in a slightly longer format than a typical Speak Up performance. Wharton’s original stables have been converted into a performance space that seats just over 150 people, and we plan on filling it with people who love storytelling.

The following day, we will be teaching a storytelling workshop from 9:00-1:00 in Wharton’s home.

We realize that if you are living in the Hartford area, it’s a long way to travel for one of our shows, and we expect the vast majority of tickets to sell to people living closer to The Mount, but if you’re interested in spending a weekend this fall in the Berkshires, you may want to make Speak Up a part of your trip.

Details on the storytellers who will be taking part in the show and ticket information will be publicized as soon as things are finalized.

For now, save the date if you’re interested in joining us that weekend for what promises to be an amazing evening of storytelling!

Productivity tip #7: Push your lawnmower.

Just like the people who take the stairs rather than the elevator in order to get a little exercise, mow your lawn with a lawnmower that lacks self-propulsion.

If you’re going to spend an hour or two walking in monotonous, geometric patterns on your lawn, you might as well be getting some exercise in the process.

Pushing a 100 pound lawnmower (the average weight of a push mower) is a great way to do it.

I spend the 60-90 minutes that it takes to mow my lawn listening to books and podcasts, rehearsing stories for the stage, and pushing like hell.

I hate doing it, but it’s an exceptionally productive way to spend an hour.  

Bad genes. At least according to my wife.

My wife admitted that when my daughter is being disagreeable and refusing to conform, she becomes angry with me.

Apparently, she thinks it’s my genetic contribution that causes her nonconformity. 

I am a legitimate fashion icon. A trendsetter. The New York Times says so.

When it comes to clothing, my life is fairly simple.

I don’t wear ties.

I own two suits that I almost never wear.

I own one belt.

Though I own winter coats of various degrees of warmth for prolonged stays outdoors, I wear a hooded sweatshirt throughout most of the winter.

Most days I can be found in a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt. At work, you’ll find me in pants and a polo shirt.

In the summer, I wear shorts. 

With the exception of golf shoes, which I wear on the golf course, and basketball sneakers, which I wear on the court, and boots, which I wear in the winter while shoveling snow, I have two pairs of everyday shoes.

One of them is a pair of black sneakers that I wear 95 percent of the time.

These sneakers are the only item of clothing that contains an outward label. I’ve attempted to wear sneakers without any discernible branding, but they fall apart within a month or two.

So I wear Nike sneakers. Black in order to minimize the branding. Because purchasing clothing or accessories that highlight the brand name will someday be recognized for what it really is:

Elitist, snobbish, and dumb.   

My students would tell you (because they notice everything and told me) that I wore this same pair of sneakers to school every single day this year.

This isn’t entirely true. I replace my sneakers every 4-6 months, but I buy the identical pair, so unless you’re paying attention to wear and tear, you’d never notice the difference.

But it’s true. I wear the same pair of sneakers almost every day of my life, simply because they are the most comfortable and versatile pair of shoes that I own.

Admittedly, this does not make me the most fashion forward man. It may also be hurting my sex life, at least according to TIME, which reported that one in six of their wives prefer footwear to sex. But for me, comfort and functionality have always been my primary concern when it comes to fashion. 

But wait. Maybe I’m actually too fashion forward.

A piece in the New York Times recently declared that sneakers have come of age and are now acceptable in almost all situations, formal or otherwise.

The once ungentlemanly sneaker, it seems, has undergone a fashion baptism. The distinction between dress and athletic shoes is on the verge of collapse for fashion-forward men, as the humble gym shoe has outgrown its youth-culture/streetwear origins to become a fashion accessory, as well as a staple on runways, red carpets and in the workplace, where it is no longer considered the height of quirk to wear them with a suit.

“The fact that such a large percentage of men have made a determined effort to make sneakers their primary footwear, or even their only footwear choice is really comparable to men giving up hats in the ’60s,” Ms. Steele said.

Did you read that second paragraph carefully?

“….a large percentage of men have made a determined effort to make sneakers their primary footwear, or even their only footwear choice”

I am one of those men! I’ve been making that determined effort for almost my entire life. Ever since I was able to make fashion decisions for myself, I have been choosing to wear sneakers.

The world just finally caught up to me.

Since March, I have been attempting to live my life free of criticism, both mental and verbal, of any person for what they choose to wear, mostly because criticizing someone for what they wear is an infantile and awful thing to do, but here’s one more reason to do so:

The woman or man wearing that awful thing may simply be dictating a future fashion landscape. He or she may be ahead of the curve, a trendsetter, a visionary.

Like me and my sneakers.

It’s about time the world caught up to me. 

Chef Clara

My clever and beautiful wife diverted requests for the iPad and television into an afternoon in the kitchen with our daughter.

The cookies were great, but honestly, the photos alone were good enough. 

 

Every day contains a story

An exercise that I gave my storytelling class last week that I’ve been doing for two weeks now and loving:

At the end of every day, ask yourself:

If you had a tell a story based upon the events of today, what would that story be?

Every day doesn’t have a great story to tell, but more do than you might expect. As one workshop student said, “This made me realize that every day isn’t just like the last. I feel more important now. Like my life really matters.”

Life is more interesting and more indelible when viewed through the lens of story.

Walking an elephant at the mall is still fun

My son loves the iPad.

He has complex machines that make sounds, trucks with dozens of moving parts, electric trains, musical instruments, arts and crafts, tools and sports equipment, and more.

My son probably has more toys now than I ever had in my entire life.

But I’m pleased to report that a simple wooden toy on wheels, attached to a length of rope, has not lost its luster.

At least not yet.

 

The demographics of the Republican Party are astounding.

There are currently 278 Republicans in both the House and Senate.

Every single one of them is a Christian.

Just 23 are women.

There is one African-American. That African-American, Tim Scott of South Carolina, was not elected. He was appointed to fill a vacant seat by the state’s governor.   

In fact, the only black Republicans to Congress since 1900 have been Oscar De Priest of Illinois, Gary Franks of Connecticut, Tim Scott of South Carolina, J.C. Watts of Oklahoma, and Allen West of Florida.

Five black Republicans have been elected to Congress in the past in 114 years.

I had no idea.

I am not a Republican, but if the Republicans hope to have any influence over the political system in a near future where whites are no longer in the majority and the country is vastly more diverse, they will need to find a way to elect non-white, more religiously diverse members to Congress.

They need to find a way to do so today. While the Democrats demographics are not exactly admirable, of the 255 Democrats currently in Congress:

101 are women
43 are African Americans
36 are non-Christians

Nothing to brag about, but also not appalling.

I still can’t believe these numbers.