Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 324
February 3, 2016
Enough power?
Do you think that these ten unevenly placed electrical outlets - located about a dozen feet in front of the McDonald's counter in a rest area off the Mass Pike - are enough?
I'm not so sure. Perhaps they should have covered the entire pole in outlets from floor to ceiling, just in case a busload of weary travelers want to charge their devices while simultaneously waiting in line for a Big Mac and a Coke.
February 2, 2016
"An urban community" is a far cry from eating paste
My daughter, Clara, celebrated her seventh birthday Saturday.
At the party, I asked her where one of her friends was.
She said, "Oh, she lives in an urban community - you know, a place like Hartford - so it may take her a little while to get here."
An urban community.
First grade has changed quite a bit since I spent my time eating paste.
February 1, 2016
Resolution update: January 2015
1. Don’t die.
I lowered my cholesterol by almost 40 points. I'm going to live forever.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
Four pounds down. 16 pounds to go. Good start.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a week.
Done, even though I'm in physical therapy for a rotator cuff, which makes the push ups incredibly painful.
4. Practice yoga at least three days a week.
I can't return to yoga until my physical therapy is finished.
WRITING CAREER5. Complete my fifth novel before the end of February.
Work proceeds. The due date is February 28, so I don't have a choice but to finish.
6. Complete my sixth novel.
I have two novels that are more than halfway finished and one that is finished but requires a re-write. One of these will likely become my sixth novel.
7. Write a middle grade novel.
No progress yet.
8. Write at least three new picture books.
No progress yet.
9. Complete a book proposal for a book on storytelling.
The book is outlined, and most of the proposal is written. I need to write two sample chapters to complete the proposal. Work on this will begin once the novel is complete.
10. Write a new screenplay
No progress yet.
11. Write a musical for a summer camp
I'm in the process of outlining the musical so my partner can begin work on the songs,
12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in The New York Times.
No progress yet.
13. Publish an article in an educational journal.
No progress yet.
14. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
No progress yet.
15. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
Last year I began this goal by backing into parking spots (which strikes me as insane) and then failed to write about it. I will repeat this behavior in February and finally write about it.
16. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 1,000.
I gained ten subscribers. My total stands at 922.
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17. Collaborate with a former colleague on an educational book.
No progress until the novel is complete.
STORYTELLING18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.
We produced one show at Infinity Music Hall in Hartford, CT in January. It was fantastic. More than 500 people in the audience, including the standing room only section.
19. Deliver a TED Talk.
Done!
I wish that SquareSpace would provide users with the strike-through feature. It feels so good to cross things out, even if it's done digitally.
I spoke at TEDxNatick in January on the topic: Live Your Life Like Your 100 Year-Old Self.
As soon as the video is posted, I will be sure to share it.
I've also been asked to speak at another TEDx conference in April.
20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
I attended 0 Moth events in January. Unusual for me but a busy month.
21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.
I did not compete in January.
22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I will be competing in a GrandSLAM at the end of February.
23. Launch at least one new podcast.
I've chosen the next podcast and determined the format. It will not be launched until after the novel is complete.
24. Launch a storytelling project that I will otherwise remain vague about here but will become a primary focus of 2016.
Work does not begin on this project until the novel is complete.
NEW PROJECTS25. Host at least one Shakespeare Circle.
No progress.
26. Learn to cook three good meals for my wife.
No progress.
27. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
No progress.
MISCELLANEOUS28. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.
No progress. The uncommonly warm winter has been nice, though.
29. Optimize our television for a streaming service.
Likely a summer project.
30. Set a new personal best in golf.
No golf was played in January for obvious reasons.
31. Play poker at least six times in 2016.
I did not play poker in January. I have a game of poker scheduled in April with friends.
32. Do not speak negatively about another person's physical appearance except when done in jest with my closest friends.
Done. January was free of negative speech about another person's physical appearance (except when made in jest to a close friend).
33. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.
Done.
January 31, 2016
My children take selfies now, and I'm glad.
I texted my wife and asked her to take a few photos of the kids and send them to me.
She taught them to take selfies instead.
It was a good decision.
January 30, 2016
Richard Marx is trapped in my head, and I didn't even know it.
My wife decided that the theme of our next Speak Up show at Infinity Music Hall in Hartford would be "Should've Known Better."
We decided this in the car on the way to New York. As she spoke the words aloud, I said, "Isn't there a song called Should've Known Better?
And there is. It's a Richard Marx song from 1987 - almost 30 years ago.
The song never hit #1 on any billboard chart.
I've never owned a Richard Marx album.
I don't have a song by Richard Marx in my iTunes library.
I was never a Richard Marx fan.
The song probably hasn't been played on a radio station since 1990.
And yet when Elysha played the song, I knew every single word.
That song - one I don't partuicularly like by a musician I never particularly enjoyed - has been living in my head for almost three decades, just waiting to come out.
Even Elysha - a woman who has more music in her head than anyone I have ever known - didn't know the lyrics to this song.
I knew every single word.
I can't help but wonder what else is living inside my head, waiting for the moment to raise its ugly head. What other song or memory or bit of trivia is still lying dormant, as pristine as the day it was encoded into my biological hard drive, waiting for someone to ask the right question and bring it forth?
The brain is a strange thing. Capable of forgetting something you were told five seconds ago yet also able to retain enormous chunks of information over decades without any effort to maintain the integrity of the data.
Oh, and I took a look at Richard Marx's other hit songs., I know at least six others by heart.
Perhaps the man is simply a virus.
January 29, 2016
The Name Game
My daughter, Clara, turned seven on Monday. Tomorrow we host a birthday party for friends and family.
I was telling Clara stories about the day she was born, and this story came to mind, which I wrote about at the time (to Clara) and thought I would share here.
It's a testament to my wife's ability to remain cool under pressure.
______________________________
During labor, many people were in and out of our room. Nurses and doctors surrounded the bed, constantly introducing themselves and stating their positions.
“Hi, I’m Doctor Smith, the attending on tonight.”
“Hello, I’m Doctor Jones. I’ll be administering your epidural.”
“I’m Doctor Andrews. I’m here to turn down your epidural.”
“I’m Doc Simpson. I’m here to look at your vagina.”
Most remarkably, your mom seemed to keep track of all these people amidst all the contractions and pushing. At one point a doctor introduced herself to us, consulted with another doctor, checked in with a couple nurses, and then turned to leave just as your mother began pushing again. But before she did, she took a moment to look up and say goodbye to the doctor, addressing her by her name.
Katherine, our nurse, turned to me and said, “How can she possibly remember all these people’s names?”
A few minutes later, Katherine asked a nurse to arrange for "Petey" to come down to our room. Considering every other person in the room had been introduced either with their title of doctor or by their first name in the case of the two female nurses, the thought of some guy named Pete, who apparently insisted on being called by his first name, coming to the room alarmed your mother.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “Whose Petey?”
“Not Petey, a person,” Katherine explained. “Pediatrics. They’ll need to be here at the delivery.”
Half naked, contracting and pushing, your mother was still on the top of her game.
January 28, 2016
Three Things I Eat Oddly
I despise mayonnaise. It's a terrible, evil substance. But as a boy, my mother still fed me tunafish sandwiches, despite my hatred for the mayonnaise typically used on such a sandwich. Without mayonnaise, the tunafish was dry and constantly fell from between the two slices of Wonder bread, making me crazy.
One day I decided to find an alternative for mayonnaise. Something to bind the tunafish to itself and the bread. In the process of experimentation, I heated peanut butter ever so slightly in the microwave and mixed it with the tuna. Not only did it work beautifully in terms of binding the tunafish to the sandwich, but it tasted good, too.
Think I'm crazy?
A few years ago, one of the stations in my A-Mattzing Race (a race inspired by and designed like The Amazing Race) forced contestants to eat foods that only I enjoy. Peanut butter and tunafish sandwiches was one of these foods.
Not everyone enjoyed this combination, but two guys liked it so much that they continued to eat these sandwiches well after the race.
Try it. You might like it.
Raw potatoes and raw potato skins
As a child, I ate raw potatoes like apples. My mother would wash and peel and send me on my way.
I still love them to this day.
I would also stand beside my mom as she peeled the potatoes and eat the raw skins as they came off the slicer. I still love these as well, and it turns out that the skin is the most nutritious part of the potato.
Raw hamburger
As a kid, I ate raw hamburger.
I have no idea why I would ever do this, but as a kid, I liked it.
I haven't tried raw hamburger since I was a boy, but I can't imagine that I would still like it today. Also, it will most assuredly make you sick. I'm apparently lucky not to be dead.
January 27, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 12 - The Rachel-less Episode
Episode 12 of Boy vs. Girl features unintentional and accidental recordings of conversations between myself and my ch-host, Rachel Leventhal Weiner, about such issues as when you should get married, the proper level of aggression in a poker player, and whether or not women would ever want a stay-at-home husband.
Rachel experienced a death in the family and was unavailable for recording, so rather than skipping a week, I put together this shorter, less formal episode.
You can listen here or subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store or wherever you get your podcasts.
A Giants fan enacts a random and nonsensical act of football hatred upon a Patriots fan
I found this in my classroom on Monday morning following the Patriots loss to the Denver Broncos in the AFC Championship game.
The balloons, the orange soda, and the poorly sprayed silly string on my chair are the work of a New York Giants fan who cares absolutely nothing for the Broncos.
This person also wore Broncos colors to work that day, which left me wondering:
How self-loathing must a person be to embrace the colors of a football team for which he feels no allegiance and would be rooting against in any other circumstance?
How oddly fixated on the football allegiance of others must a person be in order to spend time and money do something that is completely unrelated to his own team?
How disturbingly affectionate must a person feel about the suffering and disappointment of others to engage in this kind of mean-spirited behavior?
Just imagine how psychologically broken a person must be to go through all this effort when his team had been home for more than three weeks after failing to post a winning record in the regular season.
It's slightly reminiscent of Red Sox fans chanting "Yankees suck!" when their team is playing the Minnesota Twins or the Baltimore Orioles.
If you're directing your chants at a team playing hundreds of miles away while ignoring the opponent in front of you, you have problems.
Perhaps not as unfortunate and odd as the person who filled my room with orange and blue, but close.
January 26, 2016
Heart beeps
My three year-old son discovered his mother's heartbeat today.
He calls them "heart beeps."
Don't you dare correct him.
