Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 273

Ray of light

My wife: I love what you're making over there. 

Clara: It's a refugee camp. That's a place for people who lose their homes in a war. 

She learned about refugee camps by reading a book. She's always had an enormous heart. 

Even in the darkest of times, you can find pinpricks of light. Here are a few from this week.

Sometimes the world can seem so dark.

Between despicable acts of terror like the one in Manchester, despicable acts of fake terror created by the Trump administration like the ones in Bowling Green, Sweden, and Atlanta, and a Republican Congress seeking to take healthcare away from 23 million Americans while simultaneously giving enormous tax cuts to the wealthy, the world can seem like a dark place. 

In these times, we need to look for the light. Even when it's a little silly, possibly trite, and fairly ineffectual.

Here's some light from this week:

Ben and Jerry's has announced it won’t serve “same scoop” orders in Australia in protest of Australia’s Marriage Act, which doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages.

“We are banning two scoops of the same flavor and encouraging our fans to contact their MPs to tell them that the time has come — make same sex marriage legal!”

Clever and daring, Ben and Jerry's.

Michael Jordan once said that Republicans buy shoes, too, indicating his purposeful, financially driven, apolitical stance. 

Ben and Jerry's has a different approach to politics. They stand on the side of decency and righteousness, and I suspect that they will be rewarded for it in the long run. 

Ben Carson, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development and exceptionally wealthy neurosurgeon, said that poverty is a “state of mind.”

Dictionary.com, who along with Merriam-Webster has been like word-nerd superheroes ever since Trump took office, trolling his administration every time they poorly define or attempt to redefine a term, swept in with this tweet:

Fox News host and Donald Trump propagandist Sean Hannity, who has been promoting a heinous and false conspiratorial account of the slaying of a former Democratic National Committee staffer, began to lose advertisers yesterday in response to his ridiculous and offensive claims. 

Even Fox New staffers have expressed disdain and discomfort over Hannity's conspiracy theory. 

Perhaps he'll go the way of Bill O'Reilly...

Then there was this photo of the Trump family and the Pope. 

It's often said that a picture is worth 1,000 words, and this picture says at least that. The facial expression. The subtle distance between the Pope and Trump. I know it doesn't change anything in terms of policy or politics, but for a man who is obsessed with appearance and pomp, these little moments of embarrassment and resistance begin to add up.

 Well played, your Excellency. 

Speaking of appearances, I'll end with this:

Regardless of your feelings about Melania Trump, you have to love the public embarrassment that she bestowed upon her husband after slapping his hand away upon arriving in Saudia Arabia and then executing a similar move one day later in Rome.

Anytime Trump's brand or image is tarnished, I rejoice.

Until I can cast another vote in favor of his opponent, I will continue to call my Representatives and Senators, support my friends who feel forgotten or attacked by this administration, attend rallies and protests, and take great pleasure in these little moments of resistance, whatever the source. 

"Begs the question" brings joy to my heart. Rarely.

That moment when someone uses "begs the question" correctly and you feel like there is still hope for this world and you've found your people.

Worst obituary ever. Greatest correction ever.

Bob Hoover, aviation legend, died in October of last year. The New York Times published an obituary on the great man, which required the single greatest correction of all time. 

This is real. Also embarrassing and hilarious. 

A simple explanation of public opinion

If you replace the phrase “Americans think” with “Americans with landlines who answer unsolicited phone calls at dinnertime think” the world begins to make a lot more sense.

Seven and counting...

One of our Speak Up storytelling shows earlier in the year featured four former storytelling workshop students who have gone on to tell stories at Moth StorySLAMs in New York, Boston, and Burlington, VT. 

 In fact, two of them competed in the same StorySLAM in December of last year in New York, unbeknownst to them.

I don't have the actual count of former workshop students who have gone on to perform for The Moth, but the number easily exceeds two dozen. 

Even more thrilling, six of my former workshop students have gone on to win Moth StorySLAMs. If I include a rabbi from a recent retreat where I taught, the number is now seven. 

One of them has even won a GrandSLAM.

The fact that almost all of these people live in Connecticut makes this number even more surprising. Moth StorySLAMs are held on week nights, meaning these folks committed significant time and resources in order to travel to Boston or New York on a work night to compete in a Moth StorySLAM and arrive back home well after midnight. 

I've also had many of my friends - more than a dozen - go to The Moth and tell stories. Friends who have seen me brave the New York or Boston stage and then followed in my footsteps.

One of my former fifth grade students has gone to The Moth with me and told a story. 

Many, many more friends and workshop students have also told stories on Speak Up stages. 

All of this thrills me. I like to think back to that July evening in 2011 when I stepped into the Nuyorican's Poets Cafe in New York City to tell my first (and what I thought would be my last) story for The Moth. It was a hinge upon which my life has turned forever. It was a moment that ultimately enriched my life and Elysha's life in ways we could never have predicted. It has introduced us to so many remarkable people. Made us so many new friends. Brought me to stages around the country and the world. Launched a business that has us producing shows throughout the state and beyond and has me teaching storytelling to individuals, schools, universities, corporations, and more.

It's been a surprising and remarkable journey. 

But when I think about the multitude of ways that my life changed on that July night in 2011, I often think first about all the other people who I have brought to the stage to share their stories, open their hearts, speak their truths, and kick some Moth ass.

Watching so many people follow in my footsteps into storytelling has been one of the most rewarding parts of all. 

Be happy for rule breakers

A rule I live by:

If someone is breaking a rule, and the breaking of that rule hurts no one, always leave the rule breaker alone. Leave them be. Don't rat them out. Don't wish them ill will of any kind. 

This seems like a fairly obvious rule to follow, but when the rule breaker is enjoying a privilege that you are not or avoiding a responsibility that you still have, it seems to become exponentially more difficult for people to adhere to this basic tenet of decency.

Jealousy and a misguided need for fairness seems to permeate these situations, creating anger, jealousy, and sometimes even disclosure. 

For example, if your coworker parks his car in the conveniently located garage normally reserved for executives and is getting away with it while you continue to park in the assigned parking lot half a mile away from the building, you should be happy for your colleague. Excited, even. He's beating the system. Pulling the wool over the eyes of the executives. 

He's taking a calculated risk and may get caught someday, but you should play no role that disclosure.

His rule breaking is hurting no one. 

Reporting his violation would place you in the same category of single celled organisms:

Very small and very stupid.  

Another example:

If your job requires you to submit a complex, time consuming progress report every Friday, but your colleague doesn't submit the report and her failure to comply goes unnoticed, be happy for your colleague. Excited about her daring and successful attempt to beat the system. 

Yes, it's true. Your colleague is avoiding work that you must still complete, but she has not changed your life in any way. Your workload has not increased. Your boss's perception of you remains the same. You should not be annoyed. Her attempt to circumvent an assignment has no bearing on your life or your future. 

Unless of course you're a fairness monger. A rule following referee. A person so disappointed with your own life that you can't take pleasure in the good fortune of others.    

This is really no different than real life. My friend, for example, lives next door to his retired parents. He has never paid for a babysitter and never bought a diaper. His parents restock his diaper supply whenever needed. His mother has even been known to do the laundry while watching the kids.

My mother is dead. I've seen my father four or five times in the last ten years and barely know him. My in-laws live two hours away and still work full time. 

I have spent thousands of dollars on babysitters over the years, and I paid for every single diaper that my children wore. 

Am I angry about my friend's good fortune? Jealous?

Of course not. I'm happy for him. Just like I'm happy when one of my colleagues when they manage to avoid a needless, fruitless responsibility or break an arcane, bureaucratic rule while harming no one, even if I am still saddled with that responsibility or rule. 

 

Baseball players are damn cowards

On Wednesday night, Toronto Blue Jays Jose Bautista flipped his bat at home plate before rounding the bases after hitting a home run. 

Flipped his bat. Tossed it into the air so that it rotated as it fell to the ground. 

On Thursday night, Atlanta Braves starting pitcher Julio Teheran intentionally hit Bautista in the left thigh in the top of the first inning. 

The reason?

The Braves weren't pleased by Bautista's bat flip  in Wednesday night's game. Bat flipping in Major League Baseball is considered showboating. Making the pitcher look bad. Over-celebratory. 

Please note: Had the pitcher struck out Bautista, he could've fist pumped several times while standing on the mound with no repercussions. He could've leapt into the air. Shouted a barbaric yawp.  

But flipping a bat?

No. Too much. In response to a bat flip, the perpetrating player must stand still in a box drawn in chalk while a member of the opposing team throws a 90 MPH baseball at him like a damn coward. 

I love baseball, but I hate the sensitivity of baseball players. Their endless list of unwritten rules. And I especially hate the cowardly, pathetic, shameful retaliation that happens when pitchers throw baseballs at batters because the batter did something inappropriate earlier in the game.   

If you want to retaliate with violence (which is what throwing a baseball at another human being is), do so face to face. Man to man. 

Even better, keep your tender emotions in check when the big, mean man flips his baseball bat into the air after hitting a home run. Muscle through the emotional assault on your fragile psyche and strike the guy out next time. 

Someone please inform baseball players that winning is the best revenge. That throwing baseballs at players who have no chance of getting out of the way is childish, pathetic, and one of the greatest acts of cowardice perpetrated on network television on a regular basis. 

The Moth: The Robbery

In March of last year, I told this story at the Brooklyn Academy of Music about an armed robbery that I experienced in 1993. It was the hardest story I've ever told but also one of the most important for me. 

Post traumatic stress disorder is a serious problem for many of our veterans returning from war and many other Americans in general.I was fortunate enough to get the help I needed but many do not. If you know someone who is struggling, please let them know that therapy works.   

Let's do this.