Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 213

Just before all the good stuff is the real good stuff

I’m writing this at 6:45 AM on Christmas morning.

It’s one of my favorite times of the year. It’s been one of my favorite times of the year for all of my life.

The moment just before. The time between preparation and delivery. The interlude of anticipation.

I have always loved this moment. The proximity to satisfaction and discovery. The delay just before gratification. A ever-present, now visible future filled with possibility just ahead.

On Christmas morning, it’s time when children vibrate like strings on a guitar. Presents sit under the tree, seeming to somehow vibrate themselves. Corners of gifts poke from stockings. Lights twinkle in the darkness of early morning. All is silent and still. The scene has been set. Everything’s in its appointed place.

We simply await the final ticks on the clock to reach the appointed hour.

I love the moment just before the knowing.

When I was a kid, my brothers and sisters and I would scramble down the stairs and sit amongst the presents, waiting for our parents to awaken so we could open our gifts. We’d lift and shake and guess at what might be hiding under the wrapping paper. Even as a boy, I knew that Christmas was more fun before the presents were unwrapped.

That there was more joy in the wondering than the discovering.

In the past, I’ve received emails from my agent with the subject line, “Great news” for “Film offer.” I’ve read the subject line and many times stuffed the phone back in my pocket, willing to wait until the moment is right to see how my future has changed.

Maybe it means waiting until Elysha is with me to read the news.

But much more often, I stuff the phone into my pocket because it’s the time just before knowing that I love more than the knowing.

Once you know, it’s over. All done. Possibility has become reality. The unknown has become known. Mystery and anticipation are no more. The world returns to its flat, obvious self.

Give me an unwrapped present any day.

Speak Up Storytelling: Christina Fedolfi

On episode #29 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Matthew and Elysha Dicks talk storytelling!

In our followup segment, we talk about an error in a previous podcast, upcoming show and workshop dates (including a workshop in Seattle this summer), a Pulp Fiction secret revealed, and more.  

Next, we talk about finding and collecting stories in your everyday life using "Homework for Life." We talk about the C-A-B-C format for storytelling and how it can be applied to a simple moment with a father and son. 

Next we listen to Christina Fedolfi's story about mishaps and adventures while preparing for a big bike race. 

After listening, we discuss:

The effective use of humor in this story in particular 

The B-A b-C format for storytelling 

Creating a mental schema to assist an audience

The power of setting a scene at all times

Ways to improve and enhance a moment of surprise

Next, we answer questions about storytelling and Homework for Life with children, the gender gap in storytelling, and remembering the details in Homework for Life for the future. 

Finally, we each offer a recommendation.  

LINKS

New York City Public Library appearance registration

What Was Inside the Glowing Briefcase in Pulp Fiction:
https://bit.ly/2V5AZFs

Momento app: momentoapp.com

Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne

Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com

Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks 

Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter: 
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe

RECOMMEDATIONS

Elysha:

My Mother Was Nuts by Penny Marshall:
https://amzn.to/2AcwqQU

Spiderman in the Spiderverse

Matt

How Star Wars Was Saved in the Edit:
https://bit.ly/2LwLWeD

Be different

As a reluctant atheist, I’m not an easy sell when it comes to church attendance. At various times in my life, I have been Catholic and two different variations of Protestantism. I’ve also regularly attended Lutheran services and a church for Born Again Christians, as well as many Jewish services.

None of them captured my heart. In fact, the closest I’ve ever felt to faith has been while reading certain potions of the Bible (while recoiling at many others) and experiencing moments of incredible coincidence that have made me wonder if a higher power was not at work.

Not enough to give me the faith I so desire, but much more than any minister, reverend, rabbi, or priest on a Sunday.

Especially the bigoted ones who say that my gay friends are sinners who will burn in hell for loving whomever they want. Those are some of the stupidest and least inspiring leaders on the planet.

That said, had a local church posted this sign on their front lawn, I would at least be intrigued. Maybe even tempted to step inside its doors.

I first saw this sign this summer while teaching at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I quickly showed it to my friend and teaching assistant, who was sitting across from me at the time.

We were in hysterics.

This is the power of daring to be different. Trying something new. Stepping on or even over the line at times to garner attention and make yourself known.

In a world where conformity is prized and people are often advised to “stay in your lane” and “don’t rock the boat,” a church that opts to be funny instead of staid and expected and oftentimes bizarrely threatening will invariable garner attention from people like me.

People craving something new.

The same holds true in life. Those who try to be different, blaze their own trails, and do something original and unexpected are the most courageous people in the world.

It’s easy to do what everyone else is doing. There’s no danger in following the predictable path. No bravery required to live the life that everyone else is living. The life that everyone expects you to live.

It’s remarkable but true: Many, many people follow a lifetime trajectory prescribed by parents and society. Their occupation, religion, political beliefs, style of dress, and even choice of spouse are often dictated not by their hearts and minds but by what others expected of them. Demanded of them.

It’s probably a far easier life to live - requiring a lot less courage and filled with much less kung fu fighting, for sure - but also offering far fewer rewards, too.

Well played, Harrah 1st Assembly of God. I won’t be traveling to Oklahoma to attend services, but I see that you podcast your sermons weekly. I’m tempted to give one a listen.

A simple suggestion to improve 2018 and beyond

At the end of each year, in addition to reviewing the progress of my 2018 goals and setting my 2019 goals, I’ll be creating a Best of 2018 list. It’s a review of all the things that happened in 2018 that were notable for some reason.

Maybe they represented the first time I ever did something. Or an unforgettable moment. Or a shocking turn of events. A goal achieved. A door unexpectedly opened. A beautiful moment with friends or family.

It’s a great way to look back on the year and feel good about your most recent trip around the sun.

I highly recommend it.

If I’m being honest, I’ve been adding to my Best of 2018 list throughout the year, so perhaps this is something you might want to start doing in 2019, but I still encourage you to take a look back at 2018 and find those moments of meaning. A few ways of recapturing some of those moments include:

Go through your calendar to find moments you may have already forgotten.

Ask friends and family for ideas on highlights.

Scroll through the photos on your phone or computer.

I’ll be sharing my list with you in the coming weeks. I hope you will as well.

Not a single one of them escaped alive

The Lumière brothers were among the first filmmakers in history. From 1896 to 1900, t and they shot several scenes around Paris. Recently, their footage was remastered. Among other things, it was stabilized, slowed it down to a a natural rate, and sound was added.

It’s amazing. A twenty-first century look at late nineteenth Paris.

Amazing, but also, this is what I think every time I watch it:

All of these people are dead. Every single one of them. All of these happy, joyous, productive people are gone forever. Each one of them, at some point, breathed a final breath and then ceased to exist.

Not a single one of these people is still alive.

Including the Lumière brothers. Abandoning motion pictures about ten years later, they went on to become pioneers in color photography. Both brothers lived through both World War I and World War II, but they are gone today, too.

Not a single person in this film or behind the camera escaped alive.

This is what I think as I watch this film. It’s what I think about again and again as each scene changes.

I’m an absolute joy. Don’t you think?

A beautiful act of revenge. Plus glitter.

Elysha and I had a package stolen off our doorstep recently. It was a Nordstrom order, and when Elysha called the company to inform them of the theft, they immediately shipped the item again, no questions asked.

Elysha has now told about ten million people about this outstanding customer service experience, and she’ll be shopping at Nordstrom even more now.

Well played, Nordstrom.

Package theft is becoming a bigger problem as more and more Americans shop online. We reported our loss to the police, and an officer came to our home to collect information.

But when one man was told by the police that they could do nothing about his stolen package, even though he had a video of the theft, he decided to take action, creating a glitter bomb trap for would-be thieves, complete with a recording mechanism and much more.

It’s glitter revenge on the scumbags who steal boxes off our front stoops, and it glorious.

Well worth the ten minutes to watch.

Roman numerals are stupid

You know what’s really, really stupid?

Roman numerals.

Americans have an alphabet . It consists of 26 letters and is derived from the original Latin alphabet. There are other alphabets in the world today, including Cyrillic, Arabic, Greek, and Braille. but here in the United States, we use just one.

We also have a system of numerals. It’s called the decimal numeral system, though the actual figures that represent the numbers are Hindu-Arabic or western Arabic. These are the numbers that children begin learning at an early age in order to understand and practice mathematics.

One set of letters. One set of numbers. As it should be.

Then, at some point in your life, probably in the fourth or fifth grade, a teacher or parent informed you that we also use a Roman numeral system, too, mostly when people want to make something seem more important or more stately than it really is.

Labeling Super Bowls and movie sequels

Differentiating Kings and Popes

Copyright dates on films, television programs, and videos

Clocks designed by jackasses

So in the midst of learning to multiply or balance equations with one set of numbers, you’re suddenly asked to learn a new system of numbering that you’ll never actually use in mathematics but will need to decode about twice a year for the rest of your life for reasons that almost never matter.

You may inquire to the benefits of Roman numerals, rightly expecting that there must be some advantage to learning this new system, but you will quickly be told that there are no benefits to this system at all.

Essentially they just look pretty. So learn them. You will rarely need them, but every now and again, it will be good to know how to decode them.

All of which makes Roman numerals so very, very stupid.

Let the anger go

Someone was annoyed with me this week because, in her words, "You're always great."

Sadly, she was not implying that I'm a persistently remarkable person.

In fact, I suspect that she thinks I’m not persistently remarkable in any way.

Instead, she was annoyed that I don't allow much to bother me. Petty disagreements, disputes over not-terribly-important issues, and even rude remarks tend to pass by me unnoticed.

When I'm asked how I'm doing, I almost always respond with something positive.

And why not? I’m a healthy, educated American doing several jobs that I love, and I get to come home every day to Elysha Dicks, two healthy, hilarious, intelligent children, and two cats who love me more than anyone else in the house.

I’m too damn lucky to be complaining about nonsense.

But here's the important part:

It turns out that not complaining may actually be contributing to my happiness. Studies show that the notion of anger catharsis is nonsense. The belief that expressing your anger prevents it from building up is simply an urban myth. In fact, expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies those bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.

Research shows that the more a person ‘vents’ about their struggles, the more they report having had a bad day. Psychologist Brad J. Bushman, for example, concluded that venting increases anger and aggression. After studying the emotional responses of people using punching bags to exorcise their rage, he concluded that “doing nothing at all was more effective.”

Also, and just as important, nobody likes listening to a complainer. Persistent, purposeless complainers are often shunned by the people around them and eventually despised.

So yes, I’m great. Most of the time, in fact. Perhaps in part because I'm constantly telling people who are kind enough to ask how I'm doing that I'm great.

Speak Up Storytelling: Erica Donahue

On episode #28 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Matthew and Elysha Dicks talk storytelling!

In our followup segment, we talk about upcoming Speak Up events, offer insight on Tasmanian Devils, respond to some listener emails about PTSD, and apologize for failing to record a new episode last week.  

Next, we talk about finding and collecting stories in your everyday life using "Homework for Life." We talk about the value of finding "worsts" in your life, then we talk about how to apply perspective to your Homework for Life in an effort to find more stories. 

Next we listen to Erica Donahue's story about attending college in rural Virginia as a fish out of water.

After listening, we discuss:

The effective use of details in a story

The broadening of stakes

The power of contrast

The avoiding of thesis statements

The value of the slow reveal

Next, we answer questions about effective transitions and how and when to tell stories involving trauma. 

Finally, we each offer a recommendation.  

LINKS

New York City Public Library appearance registration

Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne

Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com

Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks 

Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter: 
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe

Your geographic opposite: 
www.antipodesmap.com

This Is Going to Suck:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3J4Q5c1C1w

RECOMMEDATIONS

Elysha:

My Name is Yeh: 

Epicurious: www.epicurious.com

Matt:

52 Things I Learned in 2018: https://bit.ly/2Uez6FS

Look! Real American heroes! And no capes!

Looking for heroes this holiday season?

Look no further than Judith Jones and Carolyn Kenyon, who raised $12,500 to buy up medical debts from creditors on the rate of a half-cent on the dollar. Then, with the help of the non-profit RIP Medical Debt, they forgave that debt, meaning that roughly 1,284 people in debt because of a medical procedure were discharged of the $1.5 million they owed.

This holiday season, those folks will be receiving a letter in their mailbox telling them that they are free and clear of their medical debt.

Jones, 80, a retired chemist, and Kenyon, 70, a psychoanalyst, are members of the Finger Lakes chapter of the Campaign for New York Health, which supports universal health coverage through passage of the New York Health Act. They said that they wanted to do more to help, so this summer they decided to begin fundraising with the hopes of raising enough money to make a difference.

Since its inception, RIP Medical Debt has forgiven $434 million in medical debt, assisting more than 250,000 people. That remains only a fraction, though, of the more than $750 billion in past-due medical debt that it says Americans owe.

R.I.P. Medical Debt specifically seeks to buy the debts of people who earn less than two times the federal poverty level, those in financial hardship and people facing insolvency. The people, who do not know they have been selected, receive the debt relief as a tax-free gift, and it comes off their credit reports.

Amazing. And in a time when the Republicans are hell-bent on stripping millions of Americans of their health insurance, more important than ever.

This week Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke, who is facing 17 different federal investigations into his attempts to enrich himself though his office, refused to resign from office until he could host his department’s Christmas party, specifically to pose in front of a stuffed polar bear with donors, lobbyists, activists, and the like.

These are the kinds of human beings serving our country right now. Corrupt, self-dealing scumbags who see the federal coffers as their piggy bank.

Judith Jones and Carolyn Kenyon are reminders that regular people, doing good work on behalf of those in need, can really make a difference, especially when the government fails Americans again and again.