Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 210
January 21, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #33: Bobbi Klau
On episode #33 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Matthew and Elysha Dicks talk storytelling!
In our followup segment, we thank our listeners, including American military personnel from around the world who have been reaching out to us this week, as well as those listeners kind enough to rate and review Speak Up Storytelling during this past week.
We went over 100 reviews and rating this week!
In our Homework for Life segment, we talk about how a simple but powerful statement from a stranger can be enough material for a story.
Next we listen to Bobbi Klau's story about the search for the perfect gift.
After listening, we discuss:
Pacing, both as it related to authenticity and the ability of the audience to follow a story
The power of humor at the top of a story, particularly when it demonstrates honesty, authenticity, and self-deprecation to your audience
Telling stories in scenes
Strategically humorous moments in stories vs. a joke placed within a story
Kurt Vonnegut's philosophy on short stories
The hazards of cultural references
Avoiding the de-activating of your audience's imagination when you need to provide your audience with information
Next, we answer a question about the difference between stories that end in a moment of emotional resonance vs. a light-hearted observation or decision and a question about the role of EQ vs. logic in storytelling.
Finally, we each offer a recommendation.
LINKS
Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne
Wire Tap with Jonathan Goldstein: https://bit.ly/2W5pZbz
"Deformed Cow and the Moonlight Deer": https://bit.ly/2Do8OKS
Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com
Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe
Subscribe to the Speak Up newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-speak-up
RECOMMEDATIONS
Elysha:
Workplace lunch clubs
Matt:
January 20, 2019
Patriots playoff presumptions
As a Patriots season ticket holder, I am sent playoff tickets with the rest of my season tickets every year.
This always includes a ticket to the AFC championship game, which is unfortunately being played today in Kansas City, which makes this ticket null and void and make me very sad.
Had the Patriots made a tackle on the last play in Miami a month ago, I would be heading to Gillette Stadium today.
It kills me.
Still, I’ve had the good fortunate to attend the last two AFC championship games, 5 of the last 8 AFC championship games, and 7 of the last 15.
I’m not sure if every NFL team sends playoff tickets to their season ticket holders in the summer, and some might say it’s fairly presumptuous to do so, except that the Patriots have made the playoffs in 20 of the last 25 seasons and 18 of the last 19 seasons.
They’re made it to the AFC championship game for a record 8 straight seasons.
Presumptuous? Maybe. But certainly backed by history.
Snoop Dog thanked Snoop Dog.
Snoop Dog took recently some heat for his Hollywood Walk of Fame acceptance speech.
He thanked the Walk of Fame committee, his collaborators and mentors, his family and friends, his competitors, and his fans.
Then he thanked himself.
“I want to thank me,” he said. He thanked himself for believing in himself, for working tirelessly, for never quitting, for trying to do more right than wrong, and for always being himself.
Some folks didn’t like that part of his speech. Thanking yourself struck some people as a little too self-congratulatory. Perhaps a little arrogant.
But I loved it. I get it.
Sometimes I look back on parts of my life and don’t know how I did it.
I put myself through college while managing a McDonald’s restaurant full time and working part-time in the college’s writing center. I was Treasurer of the Student Senate, President of the National Honor Society, and a columnist for the school paper. I was an Academic All-American and won the statewide college debate competition two years in a row.
I attended two colleges simultaneously (including an all-woman’s college) and earned two separate degrees.
And I launched my DJ company at the same time.
I have no idea how I did it.
And I don’t think I could do it again. I don’t think the current version of myself would have a shot in hell of surviving those five years and accomplishing so much.
So I often look back at that time in my life and feel enormous gratitude for the younger version of me who somehow accomplished things that the current version of me could not dream of doing. It almost seems like another person did those things. Someone far more capable than I could ever dream of being. I’m eternally thankful for that younger version of myself for pushing aside all the distractions and temptations and doing the work required to make today possible.
I think that’s how Snoop Dog felt. He was thankful for that former version of himself for doing the things that might be impossible to imagine doing again today.
When you pull yourself up by your bootstraps, I think you earn the right to feel gratitude for that former version of you who made today possible. And if you’re fortunate enough to have earned a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you have every right to stand on that sidewalk and thank yourself.
To hell with anyone who might be offended. They won’t ever understand the hard work, dedication, and sacrifice that was required to earn that star.
January 19, 2019
14 “safe” changes I’d make if I could travel back in time
Time travel is a dangerous piece of business.
I have argued that the greatest super power - without question - would be the ability to travel in time. That said, I have also argued that I would prefer that this power only send our time-traveling hero forward in time, in order to see the disasters that loom ahead and perhaps prevent them, rather than travel back in time and potentially unravel everything that has already happened.
With that in mind, I thought about my own past.
I am supremely happy with where I am today and would never risk the existence of my wife and children in order to change something in the past, but if I could go back in time and change something, I wondered what I might change that would not risk my present state of being.
So I made a list. It's short, because large scale changes could alter my entire future. Though I would like to avoid being arrested and tried for a crime I did not commit or the armed robbery that has led to a lifetime of post traumatic stress disorder, those experiences helped me to land where I am today. I had to be careful and choose only those moments that are worth changing but would also not alter the course of my life to any great degree.
Keeping these parameters in mind, here is my list of things I would change in my past if given the opportunity:
Complete my Eagle Scout service project earlier - before a car accident interfered with my dream of becoming an Eagle Scout.
Take more photographs.
Ask more girls to dance whenever possible.
Listen to audiobooks sooner rather than thinking of them as "not real reading."
Don’t turn down that possible threesome opportunity I had when I was 19 years old.
Begin playing golf by taking actual lessons and not the occasional advice of friends who clearly did not have my best interests at heart.
Visit my mother more often before her death.
Punch Glenn Bacon in the face after he threw a music stand at my head in eleventh grade.
Visit with Laura - my high school girlfriend - more often before her death.
Complete my Master’s program both slowly and efficiently rather than quickly and expensively.
Attend my grandfather's funeral.
Increase the cost of my DJ services much earlier in my company's career.
Don't call Pirate - our dog - back across the street and into the path of a speeding pickup truck while waiting to be picked up for Sunday school.
Make that investment in Citigroup in 2008 that I talked about constantly but failed to execute.
January 18, 2019
Three commercials. Five minutes. Many, many laughs and perhaps a little inspiration, too.
I offer you three commercials today, each less than two minutes long that will absolutely, positively brighten your day.
The first is a commercial for Aviation Gin which features Ryan Reynolds, who owns part of the company. It’s a hilarious spot that brilliantly mocks pretentiousness and is further enhanced by Ryan Reynolds’ willingness to make fun of himself.
The next is an ad for a roller skating rink in Reno, Nevada. Here’s the very important thing to know about this commercial:
It’s real. This is not a spoof. Someone made this commercial and aired it on television with the hopes of drawing in more customers.
It’s unbelievably hilarious in a slightly terrifying way.
The last, which you’ve probably seen already, is Gillette’s brilliant and hopeful “We Believe: The Best Men Can Be.”
Here’s all you need to know about this one:
Right-wing, hyper-masculine, small-minded, frightened little man babies are still railing about this ad online more than a week after its release.
It’s that good.
January 17, 2019
Karen Pence is a bigot, but this is not news.
Karen Pence, wife of Vice President Mike Pence, is going back to work. The second lady will be teaching art at a Christian school in northern Virginia that bans gay and transgender students, faculty, and parents.
The school also forbids faculty members from cohabitation prior to marriage.
This decision has caused a bit of an uproar. After all, the Vice President’s wife is now working at a school that promotes bigotry.
Selects students based upon a bigoted criteria.
Actively excludes children from the school because of their sexual orientation.
It’s disgusting.
By banning gay and transgender students, parents, and faulty from their campus, the school is effectively judging them as unworthy.
Thus the uproar.
Kara Brooks, Pence's communications director, said the attention paid to the school's agreement is "absurd."
"Mrs. Pence has returned to the school where she previously taught for 12 years. It's absurd that her decision to teach art to children at a Christian school, and the school's religious beliefs, are under attack," Brooks said.
I kind of agree.
While it is terrible and disgraceful and disgusting for the second lady of the United States to be teaching in a school that openly promotes bigotry, it’s not exactly news that Mike and Karen Pence are bigots.
Spokesperson Kara Brooks is right. Why the uproar? This is something we’ve known for a long time.
Yes, it’s despicable that any teacher would refuse to teach a student based upon personal bigotry, but it’s not surprising when the person is a bigot.
Karen and Mike Pence are bigots, no different than the racists who defended segregation decades ago, and ultimately, they will be judged by history in the same way that we judge the likes of George Wallace and Bull Connor and Jesse Helms today.
History will aptly characterize them as bigots who deemed their sexual orientation to be the only correct and acceptable sexual orientation. They will be recorded in the history books as small-minded, hate-filled cretins who attempted through words, deeds, and legislation to deny basic human rights to Americans who were different than them.
Disgraceful and disgusting? Yes.
But newsworthy?
I don’t think so. Just a little more confirmation that our country is being run by despicable, immoral, and unjust people.
January 16, 2019
Kids get mad at "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Our kids love music.
Much of this is thanks to Elysha. As much as I love music, she loves it even more.
But it’s also in large part the result to hours of Spotify playlists playing in the car, the music playing often in our home, the endless conversations about music, and our before-bed ritual of climbing onto our bed as a family and listening to a final song to end the day.
As a result of all of this, Clara and Charlie care deeply about music and already have a great deal of background knowledge about music and the artists who make it.
This is almost always a good thing.
But yesterday morning, I was playing a playlist that featured Queen songs when “Bohemian Rhapsody” came on. Clara was in the front of the house, playing with toys, and Charlie was in the back of the house, doing the same. But about a minute into the song, both of them converged in the middle of the house, where I was working, to listen more closely to the song.
“What is this?” Charlie asked. “It makes no sense.”
“Is he okay?” Clara asked. “And why is he singing about Galileo? Does he even know who Galileo is? I don’t think he knows anything about Galileo?”
“What is this?” Charlie repeated, becoming more irritated by the second.
I tried to explain “Bohemian Rhapsody” to my children, but how do you explain “Bohemian Rhapsody” to anyone?
I tried to tell them that it’s a combination of hard rock, an opera, a ballad, and probably some other stuff that I’m not hearing or have forgotten. I told them that I think it’s a song about a man who is waiting to be executed for murder, but that might not be right at all.
I said, “It’s not supposed to make perfect sense.”
“No kidding,” Charlie said and stormed off.
Clara listened until the song was done. Then she turned to me. “Do you like that song, Daddy?”
“Yes,” I said. “A lot.”
“Okay,” she said and walked away. Unimpressed. Back to her toys.
I can’t help but wonder what Freddy Mercury would think all these years later if he knew how angry and befuddled my children became upon hearing his song.
I also can’t help but wonder how I reacted when I heard the song for the first time.
Maybe I was annoyed, too. Maybe it’’s the eventual, inevitable transformation of annoyance and befuddlement to acceptance and love that makes us love that song so much. Rather than a simple song with a simple message, “Bohemian Rhapsody” demands something from you, and as a result, it leaves its mark on your heart and soul.
I look forward to watching my kids fall in love with it like I have.
January 15, 2019
7 bits of parenting advice that I stand by without reservation
Oddly, I am often asked for parenting advice.
I say oddly because I’m hardly an expert, but I suspect that two decades of teaching and two relatively well adjusted children have caused some folks to think I know something about how to raise kids.
I often refrain from offering parenting advice on a public scale because every time I suggest a course of action, some parent whose current course of action deviates from my own feels offended by my suggestion and outraged by my presumptuousness.
Parents can be pretty prickly when it comes to their parenting.
But I was recently asked by a few people - including a few readers of my “Ask the Teacher” Slate column - for my thoughts on parenting. While I have many, many suggestions, I offer five that I can stand by and defend without reservation.
The rest will have to wait for a day when I am better prepared to suffer the slings and arrows of thin-skinned, exceedingly outraged mothers and fathers.
7 Deep Thoughts on Parenting
Don’t assume that your journey with your children will be anything like another parent’s journey with their children. These are human beings. They contain multitudes. You can’t begin to predict the future path of another parent, so don’t even try. If a parent asks for advice, fine. But unsolicited warnings of doom and gloom are presumptuous, ridiculous, and mean.
If you’re going to complain about parenting to the parents of children younger than your own, you must adhere to a 6:1 ratio - six positive comments about parenting for every one negative comment.
Don’t say even one negative thing to parents expecting a baby for the first time. They deserve to be allowed to bask in the joy of expectant parental bliss, goddamn it. Keep your mouth shut. Besides, things may go swimmingly for them. Your journey may have sucked, but it doesn’t mean their journey will.
Don’t become emotionally attached to the terrible behavior of your children. They are human beings, wholly separate from yourself and filled with flaws and foibles completely unrelated to you and how you’ve raised them. Your daughter’s rage-filled restaurant tantrum is not a reflection on you as a parent or person. It’s merely an example of your daughter’s selfishness and stupidity at the moment. In fact, it’s incredibly self-centered and completely ridiculous to think that every bad decision that your child makes has anything to do with you. So stop feeling like a failure every time your kid acts like a jerk. Stop being embarrassed or humiliated when your child acts like a fool in public. It’s your child who should be embarrassed, Not you.
Parenting can be exceptionally hard at times because nothing good in this world ever comes easy. It’s hard because it’s also the best thing you may ever do. So stop complaining so much, damn it. Did you really think it would be a cake walk? Besides, you’re constantly posting moments of beauty and bliss on Facebook and Instagram, so it can’t be all that bad.
There’s nothing wrong with allowing you child to occasionally stare at a screen for an hour or two so you can relax or get something done. You’ve been bringing that kid to parks and libraries and museums and karate class and birthday parties for years. A screen isn’t going to undo all the good that you’ve already done. Besides, you deserve an hour or two of guilt-free peace and quiet every once in a while, and it’ll make you and your child happier in the process.
Diapers are easy. It’s car seats that suck.
January 14, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #32: Tom Reed Swale
On episode #32 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Elysha Dicks and I talk storytelling!
In our followup segment, we talk about new workshop dates and links, a surprising email from a merchant marine, and a girl crush on Elysha.
In our Homework for Life segment, we talk about finding and collecting stories while visiting familiar locations from our lives and how some of them could be great stories to tell.
Next we listen to Tom Reed Swale's story about love on a college campus.
After listening, we discuss:
The power of self deprecating humor
The best places to start stories
Enhancing the power of surprise in a story
Capturing mood and tone through vocal inflection
The hazards of cultural references
Avoiding the de-activation of your audience's imagination
Next, we answer questions about telling stories that cast people in a negative light and the possibility of two people sharing a stage to tell a story.
Finally, we each offer a recommendation.
LINKS
Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne
Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com
Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe
Subscribe to the Speak Up newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-speak-up
Peter Aguero and Sara Peter's TED Talk:
https://bit.ly/2Ciqgir
She Held My Hand:
https://bit.ly/2TPb5o6
RECOMMEDATIONS
Elysha:
Pilot G2 pens (.7 and .38)
Stickers
Matt
January 13, 2019
Hurting children because you are stupid
Elysha bought me a new Quip toothbrush. I am very excited. If you don’t have a Quip or don’t know what a Quip toothbrush is, find out.
It’s fantastic.
While I’m thinking about how clean my teeth are going to be, consider this:
In 2013, the city council of Windsor, Ontario voted 8-3 to stop putting fluoride in the city water supply.
Libertarians argued that they should be able to decide what they put in their bodies.
Far stupider people argued that fluoride is bad for you in the same way vaccines are supposedly bad for children.
So the fluoride was removed, and between the years of 2011 and 2017, the percentage of children with tooth decay or requiring urgent dental care increased by a staggering 51 percent.
Then, in 2018, with far less fanfare, that same Windsor City Council voted to reintroduce water fluoridation by a vote of 8-3.
Good news, unless of course you were unfortunate enough to be growing up during the six years that fluoride was absent from the water. In your case, you have more cavities and tooth disease thanks to libertarians. dumbass conspiracy theorists, and do-nothing politicians.
It’s one thing to hold back progress because your conservative values cause you to like things just the way they are. It’s usually done to preserve the dominance of the white patriarchy, but not always. Sometimes conservative values are far less sinister than the ones on display in today’s world.
But it’s entirely another thing when bigots, religious zealots, anti-vaxxers, and other dimwits try to force society back two or three steps.
That’s the worst. Eroding progress is disgraceful and must be stopped at all costs.
Also, go get yourself a Quip toothbrush. It’s fantastic.
