Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 184
October 1, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #66: Carla Katz
On episode #66 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Matthew and Elysha Dicks talk storytelling.
In our follow-up segment, we ask for advice about our cat, which isn't really followup, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
STORYTELLING SHOWS 2019-2020
November 2: Great Hartford Story Slam, Hartford Flavor Company
November 9: Sara Kaplan: Champion of the World at Emmanuel Synagogue, West Hartford, CT
November 23: Twenty-one Truths About Love book release, CT Historical Society, Hartford, CT
December 14: “Crafty” at CT Historical Society, Hartford, CT
January 11: “Still Life: Stories of Stopping and Slowing Down” at the Wadsworth Atheneum
April 4: Speak Up at the Unitarian Universalist Society, Manchester, CT
STORYTELLING WORKSHOPS 2019
October 25-27: Storytelling workshop (beginners), Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health
November 9: Storytelling workshop (Beginner), CT Historical Society
November 16: Storytelling workshop (Advanced), CT Historical Society
December 6-8: Storytelling workshop (advanced), Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health
January 25: Storytelling workshop (Beginner), CT Historical Society
February 22: Storytelling workshop (Advanced), CT Historical Society
In our Homework for Life segment, Matt talks about a moment from a recent storytelling competition and discusses how finding moments of surprise in our lives often lead to the best stories. He also discusses not giving up on stories or assuming that stories can only serve one purpose.
Next we listen to a story by Carla Katz.
Amongst the many things we discuss include:
Humor in storytelling
Managing listener's expectations by letting them know what to wonder about and what to let go
Creating moments of emotional resonance in an otherwise hilarious story
Rounding out the arc of a story
Presenting new or unknown information within appropriate context so as to make that information clear enough
Next we answer a listener question about how Matt became a a storyteller and how the Speak Up partnership works. Credit is also given to Steve Zimmer, Erin Barker, Catherine Burns, George Dawes Green, and especially Jenifer Hixon as mentors of the craft.
Finally, we each offer a recommendation.
LINKS
Purchase Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling
Purchase Twenty-one Truths About Love
Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne
Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com
Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks
Matthew Dicks's blog:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicksblog
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe
Subscribe to the Speak Up newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-speak-up
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's blog:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-grin-and-bare-it
RECOMMEDATIONS
Elysha:
Weeknight Dinner Around the World
Matt:
The Story Collider's new bonus episode (featuring Erin Barker and Liz Neeley)
September 30, 2019
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2019
Years ago a reader accused me of being materialistic after I wrote about my lack of a favorite number, specifically criticizing me for saying that when it comes to my salary, my favorite number is the largest number possible.
After properly refuting the charges of materialism, I acknowledged that I had plenty of other shortcomings and offered to list them in order to appease my angry reader. Then I did. Then I added to the list when friends suggested that I had forgotten a few.
Nice friends. Huh?
So began an annual tradition of posting my list of shortcomings and flaws, starting first in 2011 (the list only had 10 items that year), and continuing in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, and 2018.
I'm happy to report that although the list remains relatively long (33 items this year), I'm removing one item from the list.
*** I take little pleasure in walking.
Somehow I’ve managed to find an appreciation for walking. I’d still rather be running, playing golf, or anything else to make the walk more productive, but stick me in a forest or on a mountain and I’ll happily walk.
I also thought that I might remove:
*** I can form strong opinions about things that I possess a limited knowledge of and are inconsequential to me.
Elysha says no. She points out that I enjoy staking opinions for the sake of debate, even when I’m not prepared to stake out a position.
Fine…
I also wanted to remove these two:
*** I drink too much Diet Coke.
*** I wear my wireless headphones way too much.
I’ve stopped seeing either of these as a negative., but I know that the rest of the world does (actually, my doctor has no problem with my Diet Coke consumption), so I’ll accept their assessment for the time being.
Many new flaws and shortcomings were proposed - some in jest - but quite a few in reality. A couple that were seriously considered:
*** I don’t sleep enough.
I’ve certainly heard this one before, but when this accusation is leveled against me, I always respond by asking if I ever appear tired. Do I complain about being exhausted? Am I not productive enough during the day because of fatigue? Do I look like I need more sleep? Did you know that I often awaken without an alarm clock and pop out of bed like a jack-in-the-box? Did you also know that even though I only sleep 4-6 hours every night, I spend almost every moment of that time asleep? I don’t watch television or read in bed, and I fall asleep almost instantly. I don’t waste a moment of time while in bed.
If I felt tired or fatigued or lethargic, I would sleep more. I just don’t.
*** You correct people when they didn’t need to be corrected.
This was something someone noticed me doing to Elysha on the podcast, but I asked Elysha if it was true, and she says no. When I correct Elysha on the podcast, it’s for very specific reasons, mostly related to the fact that thousands of people listen to each episode, and if you allow an error to stand, you’re going to get email about it or mislead people in an annoying direction.
I would expect the same from here.
*** You may be too presumptuous in assuming that your followers (both nice and naughty) care all that much about your self-crested lists of flaws.
This made me laugh, but it’s not an assumption I make. Some of my posts - like this one and my monthly resolution updates - are admittedly written more for myself than my readers. I’m holding myself publicly accountable, but I never think that a post like this will be popular or well read (though my resolution updates are surprisingly popular).
Therefore, for just the second time ever, no new items have been added to the list. I may finally be evolving into a better human being.
If you would like to propose an addition to the list, please let me know, and it will be considered.
Matthew Dicks’s List of Shortcomings and Flaws1. I have a limited, albeit expanding palate (though I'd like to stress that my limited palate is not by choice).
2. I am a below average golfer (but showing rapid improvement this year).
3. It is hard for me to empathize with adults with difficulties that I do not understand and/or are suffering with difficulties that I would have avoided entirely.
4. I have difficulty putting myself in another person’s shoes. Rather than attempting understand the person, I envision myself within their context and point out what I would've done instead.
5. I do many things for the sake of spite.
6. I have an unreasonable fear of needles (though my PTSD definitely plays a role in this).
7. I become angry and petulant when told what to wear.
8. Bees kill me dead.
9. I become sullen and inconsolable when the New England Patriots lose a football game.
10. I lack adequate empathy for adults who are not resourceful or are easily overwhelmed.
11. I can form strong opinions about things that I possess a limited knowledge of and are inconsequential to me.
12. I am unable to make the simplest of household or automobile repairs.
13. I would rarely change the sheets on my bed if not for my wife.
14. I eat ice cream too quickly.
15. I procrastinate when it comes to tasks that require the use of the telephone (visual voicemail has corrected this problem on the cellphone but not on my landline at work)
16. I am uncomfortable and ineffective at haggling for a better price.
17. I am exceptionally hard on myself when I fail to reach a goal or meet a deadline.
18. Sharing food in restaurants annoys me.
19. I drink too much Diet Coke.
20. My dislike for ineffective, inefficient, or poorly planned meetings causes me to be unproductive, inattentive, and obstructionist at times (I’ve adjusted the language on this one to acknowledge that some meetings are necessary and acceptable)
21. Disorganization and clutter negatively impacts my mood, particularly when I cannot control the clutter myself
22. I am overly critical of my fellow storytellers, applying my own rules and standards to their performances.
23. I think less of people who nap (though I've come to accept and even embrace the 10-15 minute power nap in the middle of the work day, I still think that anyone who is napping on a Sunday afternoon for three hours or comes home from work and naps until dinner is at best a disappointment).
24. I lack patience when it comes to assisting people with technology.
25. I don't spend enough time with my best friend (I’m trying like hell to fix this).
26. I have a difficult time respecting or celebrating someone's accomplishments if economic privilege, nepotism, or legacy assisted in their success in some way.
27. I believe that there are right and wrong ways of parenting.
28. I love saying, "I told you so" so freaking much.
29. I wear my wireless headphones way too much.
30. I consistently screw up my wife's laundry regardless of how careful I think I am,
31. My blog entries contain far too many typos, despite my loathing of typos.
32. I leave my credit card at restaurants far too often.
33. I don't ride my bicycle - alone and with my kids - nearly enough.
September 29, 2019
I'm worried that Frost's poems will someday die
I dreamt last night that the Earth’s orbit was temporarily shifting towards the sun, which would briefly raise temperatures high enough to kill nearly every living thing on the planet.
Great dream, Huh?
Actually, in my dream, Paul McCartney had built some kind of refrigerated house, so he thought he might survive, but experts doubted it.
I spent great portions of this dream trying to find way to avoid death for me and the family while simultaneously imagining the horrors of being cooked alive and watching my family suffer a similar fate.
You can see why I don’t love sleep.
And yes, I know that the orbit of the Earth would never bring it in temporary proximity to the sun, though there might be a scenario in our future where sun spot activity could wipe out most of our electronics and send us back to the Dark Ages for years.
In fact, it nearly happened in 2012, but please don’t Google it. It’s terrifying.
But here was the moment of the dream that interests me most:
It occurred to me - in the dream and now while I’m awake - that if every human being on Earth died, then all of Robert Frost’s poetry would die, too. So, too, would the music of Springsteen and the plays of Shakespeare and the philosophy of Plato and the fiction of Twain and Morrison and Atwood and Vonnegut and Rowling.
All of our art would be lost.
Human beings die all the time, but our greatest art lives on forever. Unless, of course, the human race ceases to exist. Then our art will also cease to exist.
Two roads will only diverge in a yellow wood as long as there are humans alive to read and recite those lines.
The loss of that great art suddenly seems even more tragic to me than the end of our species, and just like that, the timeless nature of our art seems a lot less timeless.
September 28, 2019
Why bullies bully
“Most people are bullied because they’re better than the people who bully them.” - Simon Cowell
A reader sent me this quote by Cowell, who judges singing shows on television. Except for clips on YouTube, I haven’t watched a singing show since the first season of American Idol back in 2002, but I remember Cowell as being someone I liked a lot.
Brutally honest. Exceedingly direct. Funny. Utterly unconcerned about what others thought of him.
My kind of guy.
And I like this quote about bullying a lot. I think bullying can also be about the consolidation of power, the need to elevate oneself, and the inability to understand the struggle of others, but I think Cowell’s statement is often true.
I also think it’s a very good thing for the victims of bullying to hear.
September 27, 2019
Lottery winners are happy after all
Good news!
Winning the lottery will not make you unhappy.
For years, we’ve all heard that winning the lottery will make me unhappy. This made no sense, of course, since everyone likes money, myself included. It’s hard to imagine that being handed a large sum of cash for doing almost nothing wouldn’t make me at least a little bit happier.
But that’s what the research has shown.
Maybe not. It turns out that this assertion has been based entirely upon research done in 1978 in which just 22 lottery winners were interviewed. A new paper argues that the sample size in 1978 was too low and therefore could not accurately register a difference in happiness amongst the participants. The newest study has data from 617 lottery winners, and it found, like we’ve all known in our hearts, that winning the lottery will likely make you a happier person.
Thank goodness. I like it when the world makes sense.
That said, I’ve still never bought a lottery ticket of any kind in my life because the lottery is for suckers. I’ll place my bets on Microsoft, Starbucks, Visa, Disney, and the rest of my investments. The money earned from those be ts also make me happy and offer far better odds.
September 26, 2019
Sometimes the answer is exactly wrong in every possible way
In the midst of my math lesson yesterday, I leaned over and switched on the document camera. This is a device that has replaced the overhead projectors of my childhood. Place a document or object of any kind under the camera, and the image will appear on the Smartboard.
A very useful tool in the education field.
I looked to the screen. Instead of the document, a large, black box was displayed on the screen.
I turned to my class and said, “When a device like my document camera - or any electronic device - doesn’t work properly, what’s the first thing I should do?”
I ask this question because I want to teach my students that the first and most likely solution to a problem like this is to restart the device.
Turn it off, then turn it back on.
I want them to know this because I can’t tell you how many times an adult asks me to solve a problem related to technology only to watch me close and re-open their app, restart their computer, or turn their toaster off and on. It’s the simplest solution to so many problems, and yet so many people miss this obvious step.
I want my students to be better prepared than most.
Having posed the question, I looked to my class, waiting for an answer. None came. The students stared back at me, blankly and confused, so I asked again. “When something like my document camera isn’t working, what’s the very first thing I should do?”
I waited again. At last a hand rose slowly into the air.
“Yes?” I said, pointing at my student. “What should you do in a situation like this?”
“Panic?” my student said.
I have a lot of work ahead of me.
September 25, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #65: Elva Guo
On episode #65 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Matthew and Elysha Dicks talk storytelling.
In our follow-up segment, we read a listener's email about a filmmaker using a transition strategy mentioned on the podcast to great effect.
STORYTELLING SHOWS 2019-2020
November 2: Great Hartford Story Slam, Hartford Flavor Company
November 9: Sara Kaplan: Champion of the World at Emmanuel Synagogue, West Hartford, CT
November 23: Twenty-one Truths About Love book release, CT Historical Society, Hartford, CT
December 14: “Crafty” at CT Historical Society, Hartford, CT
January 11: “Still Life: Stories of Stopping and Slowing Down” at the Wadsworth Atheneum
April 4: Speak Up at the Unitarian Universalist Society, Manchester, CT
STORYTELLING WORKSHOPS 2019
October 25-27: Storytelling workshop (beginners), Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health
November 9: Storytelling workshop (Beginner), CT Historical Society
November 16: Storytelling workshop (Advanced), CT Historical Society
December 6-8: Storytelling workshop (advanced), Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health
January 25: Storytelling workshop (Beginner), CT Historical Society
February 22: Storytelling workshop (Advanced), CT Historical Society
In our Homework for Life segment, Matt talks about a moment from his week of camp with students that would serve him well in certain spaces but might not be suited for stages like The Moth or Speak Up for specific reasons.
Next we listen to a story by Elva Guo.
Amongst the many things we discuss include:
The power of surprise and strategies used to preserve surprise
Embedding a small but universal truth into a much larger, less universal story
The importance of scene setting
Next we answer a listener question about stories in the hotel industry.
Finally, we each offer a recommendation.
LINKS
Purchase Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling
Purchase Twenty-one Truths About Love
Homework for Life: https://bit.ly/2f9ZPne
Matthew Dicks's website: http://www.matthewdicks.com
Matthew Dicks's YouTube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/matthewjohndicks
Matthew Dicks's blog:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicksblog
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's weekly newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/matthewdicks-subscribe
Subscribe to the Speak Up newsletter:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-speak-up
Subscribe to Matthew Dicks's blog:
http://www.matthewdicks.com/subscribe-grin-and-bare-it
RECOMMEDATIONS
Elysha:
Outschool: https://outschool.com
Matt:
The Best Obituary Ever, and the Wacky Funeral That Followed
September 24, 2019
Fun facts are never fun
Fact:
The percentage of times that a “fun fact” is actually fun is exceptionally low.
Yesterday, while working on a project about a Japanese bridge, Clara said, “Fun fact! This bridge has survived eight earthquakes because it’s built on a faulty line.”
My response: “That’s not fun.”
And no, it wasn’t. It was certainly a fact, but it wasn’t even slightly amusing. Nothing fun about it at all.
In most cases, the phrase “Fun fact” can most often be replaced with the phrase, “Fact!”
Perhaps, “Random fact!”
Maybe even “Interesting fact!” on occasion.
But almost never “Fun fact!”
September 23, 2019
Cashews are not pleasant
These hideous monstrosity - if you can believe it - are cashews. They grow on the end of the cashew apple.
Bizarre. Right?
Cashew apples are sweet and tangy. Brazilians squeeze them for juice, and Indians ferment the juice into an alcohol. But most of the apples are discarded because they are too delicate to ship. The nut is the only viable cash crop.
Did you also know that the shell of a cashew is toxic? In fact, cashews are in the same plant family as poison ivy. This is why you’ll never eat a raw cashew. They must be steamed or roasted first in order for processors to remove the shell safely.
Even the fumes from the roasting is toxic. Many of the people processing cashews - primarily in India - work in unsafe working conditions because of the dangers of cashews.
I don’t dislike cashews, but I don’t love them either. I’ve eaten them in the past, but not in a long time.
Knowing all of this, I’m kind of glad.
September 22, 2019
Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaws
Years ago a reader accused me of being materialistic after I wrote about my lack of a favorite number, specifically criticizing me for saying that when it comes to my salary, my favorite number is the largest number possible.
After refuting the charges of materialism, I acknowledged that I had plenty of other shortcomings and offered to list them in order to appease my angry reader. Then I did. Then I added to the list when friends suggested that I had forgotten a few.
Nice friends. Huh?
So began an annual tradition of posting my list of shortcomings and flaws, starting first in 2011, and continuing in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, and 2017, and 2018.
The time has come to assemble my list for 2019, which means I will be reviewing the 2018 list carefully, hoping that I might be able to remove a few and looking to add any that I think might be missing.
As always, I offer you the opportunity to add to the list as well. If you know me personally or through this blog or my books or my storytelling or my podcast and have detected a shortcoming or flaw to add to the list, please let me know. I will be finalizing and publishing my list in about a week, so don't delay.
I look forward to hearing about all the ways in which you think I suck.
