Matthew Dicks's Blog, page 120

Optimists thrive

I support optimism at all times. Whenever possible.

Relentless optimism if you can manage.

My optimism has admittedly occasionally annoyed, irritated, and even offended people. Earlier this year, someone asked me how I was doing, and when I responded with, “Great!” she said, “Everything is always great with you. Great this. Great that. Do you ever have a bad day?”

She was clearly having a bad day.

But my argument for optimism is simple:

Two people agree to attend their friend’s fusion jazz concert at the end of the month.

Person A optimistically assumes that the evening will be lovely, even though their friend has no discernible musical talent.

Person B pessimistically assumes that the evening will be dreadful and endless.

At the end of the month, both arrive at the small theater, take their seats amongst a scant crowd, and experience one of the worst musical performances of their life. Fusion jazz played on a cowbell is not good. Their friend’s choice to also sing – which was entirely unexpected – makes it even worse. The entire performance, which lasts more than two hours, sounds like a howling cat being clubbed to death by an empty can of soup.

Person A and B both leave the theater annoyed, frustrated, and suffering from headaches.

Person B was correct. The night was dreadful and endless.

But Person A – the optimist – spent the entire month wrongly thinking that the evening would turn out well. For 30 days, Person A moved through life absent any dread about the future, blissfully ignorant of the horrific evening that lay before them.

Person B, on the other hand, spent that month worried about the performance. Dreading the evening. Ominously counting the minutes until its disastrous arrival.

Both people suffered the same awful evening, but Person B also suffered a month of dread and gloom. For Person B, the pessimistic assumption that the evening would turn out poorly infected the rest of the month. Person B suffered more because of their assumption that things would turn out poorly.

Person B was correct, of course, but being correct came with a price. That price was increased levels of stress and angst.

I have a chapter in my new book, “Someday Is Today,” on the importance of optimism. It’s titled, “Pessimists Die Only Knowing That They Were Correct. Optimists Thrive.”

Optimists are happier people. They may be incorrect about the future at times, and even a little pollyannaish, but the lead up to that future is far more delightful.

It turns out that optimism might also be good for your health.

According to a new study of nearly 160,000 women of different races and backgrounds, higher levels of optimism are associated with a longer lifespan and a greater chance of living past 90,

In fact, healthy lifestyle factors, such as the quality of diet, physical activity, body mass index (BMI), smoking and alcohol consumption, accounted for less than a fourth of the association between longevity and optimism, according to the study in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.

This also isn’t the first study to find a strong link between longevity and optimism. A 2019 study found both men and women with the highest levels of optimism had an average 11% to 15% longer life span than people who practiced little positive thinking. In fact, the highest-scoring optimists were most likely to live to age 85 or beyond.

The results held true, the study found, even when socioeconomic status, health conditions, depression, smoking, social engagement, poor diet, and alcohol use were considered.

I may not eat as many vegetables as I should, but I’m offensively optimistic. I might just live forever.

If you’re not an optimist, fear not. There is hope for you. Studies of twins have found only about 25% of our optimism is programmed by our genes. The rest is up to you.

If you want to become an optimist, it’s entirely possible.

Look for positivity in this world. Focus on human advancement and societal improvements. Try to balance the bad news with some good. Remind yourself of your own successes, both large and small. Cultivate hope for your the future.

If you can do so, you’ll be a happier person. Your chances of living longer increase dramatically. People will enjoy spending time with you.

Maybe, if you’re lucky enough, you’ll even trigger some sour puss into a tiny tirade about your perpetually, relentlessly optimistic disposition.

Don’t be late.

“Being late is not only a distraction, but it sends a selfish message that your time is more important than everyone else’s. It’s difficult to ever count on people like that.”

– Bill Belichick

Truer words have never been spoken. Being late is stupid.

Sadly, it’s sometimes unavoidable, too. Just last week, thanks to unexpected traffic and a miscommunication, my friends and I arrived five minutes late to a Moth StorySLAM and failed to get our names into the hat.

Incredibly disappointing. Completely my fault.

But I’ve also attended well over 150 Moth events in my life. Competed in 96 Moth StorySLAMs. This was the first time I’d ever been late for any of them. I hated being late. I felt stupid for being late. I spoiled the evening for my friends. But I also knew that I’d never been late for a Moth event before, despite needing to drive into New York City or Boston to attend these events.

It was stupid to be late that night, but my track record is exceptional.

Still, Belichick is correct. Being late, at least with any frequency or regularity, is selfish and disrespectful. It indicates your belief that your time is far more precious than anyone else’s time.

It’s also completely correctable. It’s not hard to be on time. It’s simply a matter of conscientiousness:

Pay attention to the time. Be realistic about travel time and the possibility of traffic. Leave early. Place the needs of others ahead of your own. Be a decent, kind, and respectful human being. Get your ass out the door, even if your shirt is wrinkled, the gift isn’t wrapped, or your hair is a mess.

You should’ve done those things earlier. Don’t make others suffer because you didn’t.

If you’re consistently, persistently late, you suck at life.

Happily it’s utterly and instantaneously correctable. Just fix it. Today. Decide today that you will be on time for all things. Then try like hell to make it true.

Someday is today.

Tommy and Gina through the years

In 1986, Bon Jovi released their signature anthem, “Livin’ on a Prayer.” It’s the story of Tommy and Gina, a couple struggling financially who don’t seem to have much of a future.

Tommy’s lost his union job and pawned his guitar. Gina’s working in a diner and trying to make ends meet with her salary. Things aren’t looking good. Gina sees their dreams of a better life getting more distant and unattainable by the day.

When she cries at night, Tommy whispers, “Baby, it’s okay. Someday.”

I have a chapter in my new book, “Someday Is Today: 22 Simple Actionable Ways to Propel Your Creative Life” about the awfulness of the word “someday.”

Someday is a trap. It’s a word people use to assure themselves that there is still time. It’s an excuse for inaction and procrastination. In most cases, someday remains a distant point on the horizon, never chased and never realized.

People who believe in someday rarely find it.

Fourteen years later, in the summer of 2000, Bon Jovi released “It’s My Life,” an anthem that speaks about everything I believe, including many of the things I write about in “Someday Is Today.”

Three lines from the chorus say it all:

It’s my life
And it’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever

There are no somedays in this song. Unlike “Livin’ on a Prayer,” this is a song about taking action and chasing your dreams. In fact, it could very well be the soundtrack to “Someday is Today.”

But here’s the thing about the song that I find most interesting:

Tommy and Gina make an appearance in this song, too.

Two lines in the second verse:

Yeah, this is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina, who never backed down

Two things about these lines:

I was genuinely pleased to hear that Tommy didn’t allow “Someday” to become a trap for him as it has for so many. The lyrics aren’t specific about what happened to the couple, but it at least sounds hopeful.Has there ever been a band or musician who sings about the same characters in separate songs on separate albums? There are album’s like Queensryche’s “Operation Mindcrime” and The Who’s “Tommy” that tell a story with the same characters throughout a single album, but has any musician included the same characters across different albums?

I’ve been racking my brain to come up with another example of this.

In addition, Jon Bon Jovi has also said that their 1988 song “Born To Be My Baby” is also about Tommy and Gina, though their names aren’t referenced in that song specifically.

Is there another example of characters like this stretching across multiple albums, creating a universe of sorts for the musician or band?

I’ve got nothing.

You?

How to write a book

Since “Someday Is Today” published, I’ve been asked in many interviews about my advice on how to write a book.

“Everyone wants to write a book,” a journalist recently asked. “Few actually manage to accomplish that goal. What’s the secret?”

My answer, as unsatisfying as it may seem, is always this:

“Put your ass in a chair. Keep it there. Then write enough sentences to constitute a book. If those sentences tell a good story or uncover a corner of the universe in a new or interesting way, you might even get that book published someday.”

Not the most eloquent bit of advice, and it’s definitely not the magic pill that so many would-be writers are seeking, but it’s true. As with most creative endeavors, writing a book requires persistence, determination, and desire.

Put your ass in a chair. Write sentences.

I’m currently reading “Adventures in the Screen Trade” by legendary screenwriter, playwright, and novelist William Goldman. He offered a similar piece of advice about writing, but he did so far more eloquently than I ever could:

“Writing is finally about one thing: going into a room alone and doing it. Putting words on paper that have never been there in quite that way before. And although you are physically by yourself, the haunting Demon never leaves you, that Demon being the knowledge of your own terrible limitations, your hopeless inadequacy, the impossibility of ever getting it right. No matter how diamond-bright your ideas are dancing in your brain, on paper they are earthbound.”

Thankfully, I don’t suffer from the self-doubt that plagues Goldman and most writers, I suspect, but perhaps a little more self-doubt would do me well.

DJ goodbye? Probably not.

Last Saturday night, my DJ partner, Bengi, and I performed at a wedding at the Webb Barn in Wethersfield, CT. It was, I think, wedding #483 of our career, and it officially marked our 25th year in business.

A long time ago, back in the fall of 1997, Bengi, called and said, “I didn’t like the DJ at my wedding. I think we could do better. Do you want to become a wedding DJ with me?”

The answer in my mind was no. I had attended exactly two weddings in my life at that point, so I hardly understood the industry. My knowledge of the kind of music played at a wedding was nonexistent.

I was also managing a McDonald’s restaurant, working full time, while attending two colleges simultaneously and full time – Trinity College and St. Joseph’s University – earning degrees from both. I was also working part time in the Trinity College Writing Center, writing for the school newspaper, and volunteering for Habitat for Humanity.

I have never been busier in my life. I honestly don’t know how I did it.

Most importantly. I had no desire to become a wedding DJ. The thought had never crossed my mind, and as it did, I was not enthused.

So in answer to Bengi’s question, I said, “Yes. But I need to finish this paper on Anne Askew first.”

I said yes because when a door opens to you, always step through. If you don’t like what you see, you can always step back and close the door. But failing to step through the door closes off possibility and denies you of the opportunity to make your life different and perhaps extraordinary.

Thank goodness I said yes. That yes changed my life forever.

I learned to speak extemporaneously to large groups of people as a wedding DJ and use a microphone exceptionally well. Any nervousness that I might have felt about public speaking was soon gone. These skills would one day be instrumental in my success onstage, which would one day lead to my consulting and coaching career.

One of our clients became one of my best friends, my Patriots season ticket partner, and the author of the afterword to Someday Is Today.

I found a way to earn a second income, which became very important as Elysha and I began our family.

That’s just a few of the mountain of ways that becoming a wedding DJ changed my life forever.

In September of 1998, we performed at our very first wedding at La Renaissance in East Windsor, CT. We worked that wedding for free but were given a $250 tip at the end of the night.

In 1998 neither of us (nor you) owned a cellphone or a laptop. We were still purchasing music from record stores that no longer exist. Directions to venues were printed on paper. We occasionally played songs off cassette tapes. Most of our business was conducted in person or over the phone.

A lot can change in a quarter of a century.

For the first time in our 25 year career, we do not have another wedding on the calendar. At this point we could shutter the business and retire if we wanted. This absence of future weddings is the result of us stopping all advertising, rejecting clients who seem too difficult, contemplating the end of the business for the past five years, and the pandemic.

Other than business through referrals or the one venue where we are a recommended vendor, there is no way for clients to find us anymore. The days of bridal shows, advertising, and even a reasonably functional website are no more.

I’m also aware that to continue our business in earnest, we’d need to upgrade our equipment and move all of our music into the digital realm. The cost of the move and the upgrades isn’t my concern. It’s the learning curve required to learn to play, mix, and manage the music on a laptop rather than a mixer board. The adjustment to new equipment. The accommodations required for change.

As much as it might make sense to end the business now, it’s hard to let go of something that I’ve been doing for exactly half of my life. If I stop and think about my life as a wedding DJ, my mind instantly becomes filled, consumed, overwhelmed with memories.

Many of them make me smile.

Most of them are the kinds of things that would’ve never happened had I not gone into this crazy, unexpected business.

All of them were made alongside one of my best friends.

Thank goodness I said yes to an unexpected, unwanted opportunity 25 years ago. I don’t know if I’ll ever DJ another wedding, but if the opportunity comes along, I suspect that I’ll say yes.

Mel Brooks on dealing with feedback from your superiors

Advice from Mel Brooks:

“I’d learned one very simple trick: Say yes. Simply say yes. Like Joseph E. Levine, on “The Producers,” said, “The curly-haired guy—he’s funny looking. Fire him.” He wanted me to fire Gene Wilder. And I said, “Yes, he’s gone. I’m firing him.” I never did. But he forgot.

After the screening of “Blazing Saddles,” the head of Warner Bros. threw me into the manager’s office, gave me a legal pad and a pencil, and gave me maybe twenty notes. He would have changed “Blazing Saddles” from a daring, funny, crazy picture to a stultified, dull, dusty old Western. He said, “No farting.” I said, “It’s out”… You say yes, and you never do it.

That’s great advice for life. Don’t fight them. Don’t waste your time struggling with them and trying to make sense to them. They’ll never understand.”

I love this advice. I support it wholeheartedly.

This is not to say, of course, that you should ignore all feedback from your superiors. Just the dumb feedback. The stupid ideas.

And only if possible. Don’t go losing a good job just because your boss is a fool.

Also, here’s the Matthew Dicks addendum to Mel Brooks’ rule:

“The farther away a superior gets from doing your job (if they ever did your job at all), the more likely the feedback you will receive from that person will be dumb.”

It won’t always be dumb, of course. But the likelihood increases exponentially.

My former principal, Plato Karafelis, used to say, “I haven’t been a classroom teacher for twenty years. You know a lot more about teaching in today’s world than I ever could, so you tell me what’s best.”

Smart man. This isn’t to say he didn’t have anything to offer teachers in terms of their craft, but he also acknowledged his obvious limitations.

Not many managers or administrators in any line of work possess the wisdom, insight, and strength of ego to make such assertions. Most assume they still understand the nature of your work even if they haven’t done it in a decade or more, or they are too frightened or too weak to admit to their limitations.

The pandemic has only acerbated this reality in many fields. Anyone who had not taught students during the pandemic, for example. can kindly shut the hell up about teaching during and even after the pandemic, because they haven’t a clue about what the job is like anymore. I suspect that this is also true for many, many lines of work:

Lots of bosses thinking they understand the nature of work when they clearly do not.

And if they won’t shut up (as they probably should) and won’t listen (as they most certainly should), attempt to use Mel Brooks’ rule of saying yes then just doing the right, best thing instead.

Resolution update: June 2022

Every month I report the progress of my yearly goals in order to monitor progress (or the lack thereof) and hold myself accountable.  The following are the result from June 2022.PERSONAL FITNESS

1. Don’t die.

Survived another month!

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost one pound in June. I’ve lost a whopping four pounds in 2022.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done. Finally getting easier.

4. Cycle for at least 5 days every week.

I rode the bike for at least 5 days per week in June, mostly on my actual bike and multiple rides on a single day for many days.

5. Establish my golfing handicap, then lower that handicap by at least 2. 

Handicap established at the beginning of the year was a whopping 35.4.

I dropped it down another 3 points in June to 20.8, which is terrible but a lot lower than the start of the season.

Lessons scheduled for next week.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel.

“Someday is Today” is in bookstores now. Have you purchased your copy yet? Downloaded your audiobook?

I’m well on my way to finishing the revision of my middle grade novel.  I’ve also started working on my next adult novel in earnest.

I’ve also partnered with a friend on a new book.

Between the middle grade novel and the new adult novel, one should be completed by the end of the year, I hope.

7. Prepare “Storyworthy 2” or update “Storyworthy” or both for potential sale. 

DONE! I have a decision to make in terms of which book to pitch next. It’s a frustratingly difficult decision.

8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist, and one protagonist who is not neurotypical.

I’m in the middle of a new picture book entitled “Hug a Fish.” I was creating the actual book alongside my students, who are also creating their own. It features a female, non-white protagonist.

I’m also working on a partially written manuscript from 2021 entitled “Who Put the Baby in a Tree?”

After some discussion with my agent, I have two other picture books write.

9. Complete a memoir.

I have two memoirs in progress:

One about the two year period when I was arrested, jailed, and tried for a crime I did not commit, which also led to homelessness then a pantry off a kitchen that I shared with a goat. I was also the victim of a horrific robbery at that time that left me with a lifetime of PTSD amongst other awfulness.

Also participation in an underground arm wrestling and gambling ring.

The second is about the two year period in which a lowly band of anonymous cowards attempted to destroy my teaching career.

I’m strategizing with my agent over which to write first. I sent one over to my agent today.

I wrote about 3,,000 words between the two manuscripts in June.

10. Write a new screenplay.

I spoke to my writing partner, who has been derailed from our project by several projects. We hope to resume writing soon.

I’ve also started a TV project with another writer.

11. Write a solo show.

I’m working on a solo show based upon my arrest and trial for a crime I didn’t commit, but I have another idea:

List all the things I’ve ever stolen on a chalkboard and then tell a story about each one.  Cleverly construct a narrative that encompasses all the stories.

12. Write a musical.

Outline received from my writing partner, Kaia. We plan to work on the project this summer, using the memoir pages to inform the work.

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

DONE!

One essay submitted to the New York Times in June for consideration. Rejected.

Five essays submitted so far to the New York Times in 2022.

14. Write at least four letters to my father.

First letter started.

15. Write 100 letters in 2022.

A total of 14 letters written in June, including letters to students, a business, a Catholic bishop, and the Pope.

A total of 87 letters written in 2022 so far.

16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.

I’ve passed this project onto my production manager, but she’s busy with other things at the moment.

17. Read at least 12 books. 

DONE! I’ve read 12 books in 2022.

I read the following books in June:

“In the Great Green Room: The Brilliant and Bold Life of Margaret Wise Brown” by Amy Gary
“It’s So Easy” by Duff McKagen
“Contagious” by Jonah Berger

I’m currently reading six books:

“Telephone” by Percival Everett
“Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty
“Index: A History Of The” by Dennis Duncan
“The Areas of My Expertise” by John Hodgman
“The Groucho Letters”
“Adventures in the Screen Trade” by William Goldman

I may abandon one or more of these books because I am not enjoying them.

My list of completed books now includes:

“Contagious”
“In the Great Green Room: The Brilliant and Bold Life of Margaret Wise Brown”
“It’s So Easy”
“Poetics”
“The Office BFFs”
“Making Numbers Count”
“The Passion Economy”
“Empire of Pain”
“The Anthropocene Reviewed”
“Liar’s Poker”
“Matrix”
“Coreyography”

18. Write to at least six authors about a book that I especially like. 

Letters written to Stephen King and Michael Lewis in April.

Two letters so far.

STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER

19. Complete the recordings for my new business for at least two target consumers. 

Recording for the first set of target consumers (corporate folk) is nearly done. I have a few more videos to record a few more to fill in some gaps, but the work is on the precipice of completion.

Once we launch, I will begin recording videos for our next target customer.

Also, my new office and recording studio is nearly complete. The contractor has been working in the basement for two weeks.

20. Engage with LinkedIn at least once per week.

Success! I received more than a dozen direct messages in June and responded to each of them. Many were related to the new book.

21. Produce a total of 6 Speak Up storytelling events.

We produced a virtual show in collaboration with my school on March 19.

We have a live, outdoor show scheduled on July 13 in partnership with the Hill-stead Museum. You should come.

I’ll be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at The Mount on July 15-17.

My book launch event – featuring lots of storytelling – will take place on July 30. You should come.

We’ll be producing “Red Talks: Presented by Confessions of a Mensturator” on October 8.

I’ll also be producing a show in conjunction with a storytelling weekend workshop at Copper Beech Institute on October 28-30.

Our annual Voices of Hope show is scheduled for November 6.

We’ll be scheduling additional shows soon. Venues are ready, willing, and anxious for us to return.

22. Pitch myself to at least 3 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done!

I pitched to a total of five TEDx conferences back in April.

One has passed on my pitch. Awaiting  word from the other four.

I also spoke at TEDxCornell in April. Video will be available this month.

I’ve also helped three clients get accepted to TEDx conference this year.

23. Attend at least 6 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

DONE! I attended two Moth StorySLAMs in June.

Ten Moth events so far in 2022.

24. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.

DONE! TWICE!

I won a  StorySLAM in New York in February.

I won a StorySLAM in Boston in June.

25. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

DONE! TWICE!

I won Boston’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Wilbur on April 26.

I won New York City’s Moth GrandSLAM at The Music Hall of Williamsburg on May 16.

It was my eighth and ninth GrandSLAM championships.

26. Produce at least 12 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.

Recording was going to commence in February and March. The recording of the audiobook of “Someday Is Today” instead replaced our podcasting time for a while.

Recording was going to commence in April and then in May and then in June, but recording for other things filled that time.

July. We’ll record in July.

27. Convert my YouTube channel into an actual channel. 

Progress! My production manager has begun to structure and re-design the channel, and I’ve been accumulating content for release. I’m also been curating the content, removing material that is no longer relevant.

I’ll begin posting new stories in July. When this happens, I’ll consider the job complete.

28. Perform stand-up at least 3 times in 2022.

I have a list of open mics that are currently running in Connecticut. More than enough to resume. I’ll try to find the courage this month.

29. Pitch a story to This American Life.

DONE! I pitched one story to This American Life in April.

30. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

Two pitches made so far in 2022.

No response.

31. Send a newsletter to readers at least 25 times (every other week). 

Two newsletters sent in June. A total of 15 sent so far in 2022. Ahead of schedule.

HOME

32. Clear the basement.

Enormous progress made. My contractor removed many, many things from the basement before launching into his work. The job is nearly complete. Once the work is done, I’ll organize the remaining materials and determine what else needs to be removed.

33. Organize the children’s books.

Books have been removed from the kids’ bedrooms and remain divided into three bins:

Keep in rotation for kids/studentsStore for future grandchildren (now stored in the basement)Give away to those in need

I’ve been slowly emptying the giveaway bin. Progress remains solid.

FAMILY/FRIENDS

34. Text or call brother or sister once per month. 

Done.

35. Take at least one photo of my children every day.

Done.

36. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.

No photos taken of just Elysha and me in 2022

I’m still a giant failure, particularly given that Elysha is so damn pretty.

37. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

A date has been chosen for August. Friends invited. Fingers crossed we gather a bunch of old friends.

38. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2022 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.

Done.

39. Compliment one person every day on a topic unrelated to physical appearance. 

This turns out to be easier than I thought, at least as long as I’m teaching. I constantly give my students positive feedback, and I compliment my own children and Elysha quite a bit.

In addition to complimenting my students and family, I also complimented multiple clients, one of Charlie’s friends, lots of friends on the golf course, and many storytellers at Moth events.

40. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2022.

DONE!

One surprise in June:

Her latest Pusheen Club box featuring garden-themed Pusheen.

Surprises in 2022 also include:

A well timed Starbucks caramel macchiatoPusheen Club box, filled with an assortment of movie-themed Pusheen gifts.A complete set of Smith College chinaA card on her dashboard following a less than ideal April vacation.A surprise visit to her classroom on an especially challenging day to bring her a cupcake.A card mailed to her school with thoughts of encouragement and love, written by “The Universe.”A planned weekend getaway (later this summer) for her and a friend to Water’s Edge, a resort and spa on the coast of Connecticut.Flowers on Mexican Mother’s DayPusheen Club box, featuring garden-themed Pusheen gifts.

That’s nine surprises so far in 2022.

41. Play poker at least six times in 2022.

Two games in total in 2022. Two games scheduled for July.

42. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.

Two days spent together in June:

A long walk and a wedding.

Two days spent together so far in 2022.

NEW PROJECTS

43. Create an emergency preparedness kit for each car.

Done! Emergency preparedness kits purchased. I’ve also added several necessary items to each.

44. Memorize the lyrics to at least 5 favorite songs.

I’ve officially learned the words to “Fat Bottomed Girls, “Come On Eileen,” and “Mr. Blue Sky.”

I’m not working on “Come a Little Closer” by Jay and the Americans.

45. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week. 

Done.

46. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.

Another task passed off to my production manager, who has been working on it.

47. Memorize 5 new poems.

I considered memorizing “Casey at the Bat” or “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” and I may still try one or both, but they are long, and I wanted one a little shorter to start, so I’m still working on “I’m Nobody! Who Are You?” by Emily Dickinson.

Honestly, I didn’t work much on this in June.

I also made a list of poems that I’ve committed to memory, to ensure they remain committed to memory through occasional practice.

48. Write to at least 3 colleges about why they should hire me.

No progress.

49. Understand Instagram better.

Progress! My intern and I has a conversation, where she taught me about Instagram Stories and Reels. Huzzah!

I suspect that there is more to know, but who better to teach me than a high school senior?

50. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

I started plotting the completion of this task in February. I’m considering moving the project from Blackstone, MA to something more local, but I’m still working on it.

A recent blog post on this subject garnered me many willing volunteers.

51. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.

Done.

Fake it

A Latin proverb that I’m especially fond of is this:

“Fortune favors the bold.”

It’s sometimes translated into “Fortune favors the brave” or “Fortune favors the strong” but these are stupid translations.

Bravery and strength are lovely assets, but it’s easy to see yourself lacking in both qualities. But being bold is something anyone can do at any time. It only requires a singular moment of decision making.

Case in point:

Jonny Greenwood, keyboardist for Radiohead, didn’t know how to play keyboard when he first joined the band. Here’s what he told Terry Gross on a recent episode of Fresh Air:

Well, they had a keyboard player who — Thom’s band had a keyboard player, which I think they didn’t get on with because he played his keyboard so loud. And so when I got the chance to play with them, the first thing I did was make sure my keyboard was turned off when I was playing. And I must have done months of rehearsals with them with this keyboard that was just — they didn’t know that I’d already turned it off and was just — they made quite a racket, quite a noise. It was all guitars and distortion.

And so I would pretend to play for weeks on end. And Thom would say, I can’t quite hear what you’re doing. But I think you’re adding a really interesting texture because I can tell when you’re not playing. And I’m thinking, no, you can’t, because I’m really not playing. And I’d go home in the evening and work out how to actually play chords. And cautiously, over the next few months, I would start turning this keyboard up. And that’s how I started — you know, started in with Radiohead.

To be fair, Greenwood knew how to play music. Prior to the keyboard, he played the recorder and viola, so he could read music and understood music, but he most definitely didn’t know how to play the keyboard.

Remarkable. Right?

Fortune favors the bold.

Many years ago, I was teaching one of my very first storytelling workshops. A few seconds after I began speaking, a man sitting at the back of the room, arms crossed over his chest, said, “Excuse me. What makes you think that you’re qualified to teach storytelling?”

His tone was not welcoming or kind. It was combative and challenging.

I paused for a moment, wondering what to say. I’d already won more than two dozen Moth StorySLAM competitions and a handful of GrandSLAM championships. I was performing in theaters around the country and was producing and directing storytelling shows for Speak Up. I could’ve said all of this, but instead, I said:

“Actually, I’m one of the foremost experts in storytelling in the country. I know as much about this art and craft as anyone you’ll find. But if you don’t want to be here, I’ll refund your money right now and stop wasting your time.”

The man immediately backtracked. Pretended that he was just curious. Assured me that he was more than happy to stay.

To his credit, he quickly became a valuable member of the class and someone who later performed in one of our shows.

But was I the one of the foremost experts in storytelling in the country?

I had yet to begin consulting with Fortune 500 companies and advertising agencies.

I had yet to teach storytelling at colleges and universities.

I still hadn’t taught storytelling in public and private schools.

I had yet to teach a workshop to hospital staff, members of the clergy, politicians, or Santa Clauses.

Not a single person in the world would’ve characterized me as “one of the foremost experts in storytelling in the country.” But like Jonny Greenwood deciding that he was a keyboardist, I decided in that moment that I was, so that’s what I became.

Granted, you must be able to eventually back up your claims with the goods. If Jonny Greenwood never learns to play keyboard, his story isn’t worth telling. He’s remembered as a fraud and a failure.

If I don’t go on to publish Storyworthy and build a thriving career in performing and consulting, I, too, am nothing more than a fraud.

But if you have the goods, or even if you have the potential for the goods, declaring yourself the thing you want or expect to be isn’t a bad road to take. Not only does it afford you opportunities that you may otherwise have missed, but it also forces you to do the work to make it true.

Can you pinch more than an inch

Back in 1984, Special K launched a new advertising campaigning asking consumers, “Can you pinch more than an inch?”

It suggested that if you could pinch more than an inch on your waistline, you needed the assistance of Special K to lose that unsightly weight.

The commercials featured loved ones, coworkers, and even strangers pinching each other’s waistlines to check if they could pinch an inch. As if doing so was helpful and even playful.

This actually happened. A cereal brand attempts to sell more product by encouraging consumers to pinch themselves or others in order to determine if the were obese.

And no one at the time thought this campaign was problematic in any way. Not a single word of protest. In fact, it was deemed a successful advertising campaign that increased sales and profits for Special K.

It’s an ideal reminder of how quickly the world can change.

The American version of the commercials are nowhere to be found (not surprising), but the British versions can still be found on YouTube.

This was one of the commercials produced for the campaign:

Forced births are now a standard in America

In at least a dozen states in America, a 13 year old girl can now be brutally beaten and raped by her own father then forced to give birth to her own brother.

Ask a Republican lawmaker if this is true and they will never answer with a simple yes because even they know how vile and unthinkable this Supreme Court ruling is, especially when combined with their own vile and unthinkable legislation. Instead they will blabber on about saving every life, walking alongside all mothers in need of support, and ensuring that unborn children receive the medical care they require.

They will say all of this while repeatedly trying to repeal Obamacare and strip millions of Americans of their much needed health insurance.

How did this happen?

A few reasons:

Seven of nine Supreme Court justices were appointed by a political party that hasn’t won the popular vote more than once in 30 years. We have essentially devolved into minority rule, wherein the wishes of the majority have been subverted by the minority.One of those Supreme Court seats was stolen via the use of a previously nonexistent standard, then another seat was appointed two years later through a violation of that very same, previously nonexistent standard.At least three of the current justices lied or obfuscated about abortion being settled Constitutional law during their Congressional hearings.

It’s a terrible ruling that hurts every American in this country. Friday was a dark day in America.

What we can’t do in the face of this ruling is despair. Progress is often achieved through fits and starts. Two steps forward and one step back is tragic but  common. The arc of human history bends toward justice, but that arc is sometimes shallow, flat, and even concave at points.

Dan Rather said in response to the ruling:

“Sometimes major setbacks precede, and even spur, transformational victories.”

I believe this to be true.

Also, Democrats need to get strategic, organized, and tough.

When Republicans are willing to vote for a man who openly admits to sexual assault, operates fake charities and universities that steal money from innocent Americans, and foments a violent attack on Capitol because they know his election will ultimately serve their cause, Democrats can start worrying less about hypocrisy, stop policing their own political speech, and give a lot less attention to issues on the margins.

Big, important things must be done to protect and preserve democracy, reinstate the rights of women, stabilize our economy, and do everything we can to address climate change.

Democrats need  to get tough, get mean, and start throwing some political haymakers.