Josh Hilden's Blog, page 26

Getting Back to Basics

Hello my Minions!

This week has been a challenge on so many fronts. For the first time in months I have not been able to produce a piece of work for Free Story Friday (FSF) (www.freestoryfriday.com) and that has left me feeling a little deflated. On the other hand I am half way done with the final edits on the revised manuscript for the Shores of the Dead Book 2: The Journey.

So I would say I completed more than I left lying on the field.

Now for the bad news, I have ended my relationship with J Ellington Ashton Press (JEA). All rights to the Shores of the dead series have reverted back to me and I am moving forward with revisions and reissuing on my own. These things happen and I bare no ill will toward them. They are a fantastic group of writers and a great group of people. We simply came to the conclusion that my style and theirs was not totally compatible. I wish them nothing but the best for the future and you never know you may one day see a Josh Hilden book released under their imprint.

Moving on.

Gorillas with Scissors Press (GWS Press) is and always will be my baby and I am more dedicated to than ever. Next week Free Story Friday will continue and I am working on the first FSF anthology for a fall release. I have launched the Josh Hilden/GWS Press mailing list this week. If you are reading this on the list Welcome! Copy and follow the link below to join the list and get special offers and early notifications exclusive only to the list.

http://forms.aweber.com/form/03/11031...

I have also been working on the treatment and series bible for “Welcome to West Lake” my new serial that will be releasing this winter. Work is continuing on the zombie serial “Summer Camp of the Dead” and it looks like there will be no problem with the fall released schedule. The cover art for Summer Camp is being worked one by Melanie Heins and knowing her style I am excited to see what she comes up with.

BOB LIVES!

I have quietly been releasing my autobiographical blog series “A Cautious Descent into Respectability” every Monday and part 5 will be coming out on July 1st. They are $0.99 for each part but they are free for the first week of release.

As of tomorrow the revised edition of “Shores of the Dead Book 1: The Rising” will be up in the Kindle store and will also be available in print sometime next week.

Alright that’s it, I have things to do and you are probably tired of reading my crap.

- Josh

Ding Dong DOMA is Dead! – (A Cautious Descent Addendum)

This morning the United States Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) as discriminatory towards homosexual. They also punted the California Prop 8 Appeal back to the state but that has fewer relevancies to me. This has been an amazing day to be an American, for the first time in a very long time I feel proud of something my government has done.

Except for Scalia he is a fucking monster.

I have been watching the slow progress of this case from the initial levels all of the way to the SCOTUS. It has held my interest like the best episodes of the X-Files or Lost. But I have chosen to remain silent until now, it is usually against my policy to engage in political or religious debates online.

They serve little purpose.

Some of you may be asking yourself, “Why are you writing about this Josh? What does this have to do with you and your freewheeling life?”

Just in case I have yet to make this clear in all of my interactions over the last year allow me to repeat this loud and clear so there is no mistake.

… Ahem …

Hi, my name is Josh Hilden and I am a Bisexual American happily married to the love of my life. An amazing woman named Karen.

I have covered a lot of this in my series of Journal Essays entitled “A Cautious Descent into Respectability” last year so I am not going to go over the details again. But I will give you an abbreviated rundown.

I have known I liked fellas and girls since I was about 6. My first girl kiss was at 5 and my first boy kiss was at 6. I kept all of this to myself until I was 16 and tried to kill myself when the opening salvos of my continuing war with Bi-Polar disorder were fired. I told my therapist, one of my best friends, my father, and my mother. The parental units did not handle it well. I have “Dated” fellas in the past and I had one serious boyfriend. I loved him as much as you can love someone at 17. I kept it all to myself for many years.

Let me put that is perspective for you. That was in 1993, do you really think in those years I was too anxious to “Out” myself? Call me a coward if you want but I was already short, fat, geeky, and blind in one eye. I don’t think there was any need to hear the word “Faggot” slung at me as well.

I was ready to settle for a safe relationship with a girl when I met Karen. A relationship with her was far from safe, nine years older than me with three kids it was a scary proposition for a 19 year old boy. It was a leap of faith.

I have never regretted taking that leap.

Going on 18 years of being together and 17 years of marriage I am happier and more fulfilled now than at any other time in my life. I am pushing against the wall of my 40th year and for the first time the very idea of the second half of my life doesn’t scare me. It excites me and inspires me to new heights of creativity.

So I have been asked many variations of this question, “Josh, you live a normal life. Why do you need to tell people that you find some guys attractive?”

My answer is always a variation of, “Because you felt the need to ask me that question.” This has not been fun and there have been painful consequences.

I have been disowned by family members.

I have been told I should be ashamed of myself for sharing who I am.

I have lost friends.

It has hurt my wife that I kept from her for so many years. Although in the end our journey has been strengthened rather than damaged. But it kills me that she felt pain.

This is who I am.

This is who I have always been.

I refuse to be ashamed.

I refuse to hide.

Today the government of the United States of America took the first truly substantive step toward full equality for those of us who look like everyone else and are hated for wanting what the heart wants. We hurt no one. We ask only for the same rights as every other American.

Today I take a few moments to remember the boy who made me happy when I was younger and to praise the woman who loves me unconditionally. I am stronger for being open about who I am, not WHAT I am because what I am is the same thing the rest of you are.

I am a person.

Advice to New Writers #2: Putting some Flesh on the Bones (Part 1 – Growing the Tale)

Now that you have that idea contained (outline, notes, short story, or hieroglyphic tattoos on a homeless person) the next step is to grow the idea like one of those “Friendship Bread” starters.

Have you ever had one of those things?

When I was a kid my Step-Monster received one as a gift. She cared for it, she nurtured it, and she made loaf after loaf of admittedly delicious bread. The problem came with the ratio of loafs to growth. For every loaf she made there were three samples that needed to be baked or given away. The thing was a monster hat never stopped growing. It was a demon spawning Solo Cup after red Solo Cup of growing ooze into every open space of the kitchen.

It was scary and irresistible, I could not ignore it.

Finally, like all horrible yet wonderful things, it came to an end. The Step-Monster baked as many as she could and gave away as many as she could over a long summer weekend. Then she sent the remaining contents of the hideous red cups into the compost pile by the garden.

I like to think that 20 years later the mix still lives, now a terrifying Lovecraftian monster of mythic proportions!

Your idea is like that initial bread starter. It has the potential to feed and satiate an infinite number of readers, or it can become an unwieldy monster that tries to consume your life and overrun your existence. Either of those options can be entertaining to the readers and supporters but the later can kill the writer. The former can make the writer.

You are the writer and you are in charge. Keep telling yourself that when you bring the idea out of containment and begin to feed it. In the end almost every story will try to take control of the process and dictate to you what it wants to be.

That’s OK.

In my mind you are a partner with the story, the two of you need to be able to find the common grounded for the story to grow. Maybe the story will take root and maybe it won’t but you need to at least try.

Is this all some rambling nonsensical way of me telling you not to force it?

Yes.

A forced tale can be written. Every writer has written a story that didn’t want to be written. Sometimes the results are decent but more likely the ending product will be mediocre crap.

Don’t believe me?

Need an example?

Rose Madder.

I love Stephen King. He is my favorite writer of all time. The Stand is my single favorite book and The Dark Tower is the best series ever written in my opinion. Rose Madder isn’t just a bad novel for Stephen King … it is a horrible fucking book.

It’s not badly written book.

King is a former English teacher and as always it shows in his writing.

It’ not a bad idea for a book.

I like the idea of an abused wife fleeing her abusive husband and building a new life. The side story of the husband trying to find and punish her is also a good idea.

The book is boring.

King himself says in “On Writing” that Rose Madder is one of his weaker offerings. The book is predictable and drags in so many places. It should have been a great book but instead of allowing the idea to grow itself he forced it.

Again, King agrees.

Don’t force a story. If the idea won’t work with you to grow and evolve set it aside. Let it rest while you work on something else then maybe return to it and make another pass.

Will this guarantee you a great story?

No.

Sorry kids it just does not work that way. I have a trunk full of hand written broken stories and I have a giant file of unfinished stuff living in the cloud. All writers do and I beg you not to give up just because you have seven busted stories for every finished one.

Next week kids I will tell you why I do not plot my stories. It works for me and it might work for you, or it might not.

- Josh

Advice to New Writers #1: Catching the Idea

Let me begin this by saying that this series of journal entries will in no way shape or form address HOW TO WRITE. Also there will many, many, many flaws both grammatical and structural contained within. I am a mess when it comes to finer technical details or writing, not because I am incapable of utilizing them but because my mind moves so fast that I literally do not see them unless they are pointed out to me.

You will hear more about that when I talk about editors.

The idea is the basis for all stories. I do not care what your idea is or how it comes to you. All I care about and all you should ever care about is that you have that fucking idea. Be able to identify it and then be prepared to jump on in and hold it down, forcing it to submit to you, the writer. Ideas are vicious tricky sons of bitches, they want nothing more than to escape your grasp and return to the land of Odd. Thus leaving you limp n and unfulfilled.

Once you have that idea you need to contain it. The only way I have found to contain an idea for any length of time is through words. I don’t mean a fully fleshed out tale that hits all of your story beats and is 100% ready for publication either. Some writers find that notes and outlines are the best way to contain that tricky bitch, the idea. I find those methods less than optimal. That is not to say that those approaches are wrong or bad, for many writers they are the main way they work and they need nothing else.

I work in short stories.

To me a short narrative that encapsulates the essence if not the entirety of the idea in the preferred method of containment. At first I would write these tales (500 – 5000 words each) and put them away to be expended into longer works as time permitted. The initial basis for the first book of the Shores of the Dead series was a short story taking place in a locked bathroom. If you have read the book you know what I am talking about.

Within the last year my approach has changed.

One day I decided that the Short Story approach could serve two purposes. First, they could allow me to safely contain the bitch. Second, the stories were a type of warm up for larger works. Yes I know hundreds of other authors have said the same things in past years but this was a new revelation to yours truly. Every time a crafted a short tale felt that my writing instincts became sharper and more flexible.

Free Story Friday (FSF) was the end result.

I won’t spend too much of this writing whoring my own work. What I will say is that FSF is my attempt to get the raw ideas out there and take in some feed back without charging people money.

Once you have succeeded in catching the idea and containing it in your preferred way you have to decide what you are going to do with it. I will be honest, 7 out of every 10 of my ideas never make past the containment stage. Either I find that once I look at them in the bright light of day they are not very good, or they prove to be more than a writer of my limited abilities can handle and I turn myself to easier work.

Please do not let this discourage you.

Not all ideas should be expanded, and even if they can be expanded they just might not be the ideas for you. If you look at an idea after you have captured it and it doesn’t excite you, if you don’t have to fight the urge to ignore all of your other obligations in order to work on it. Guess what? You and that idea are probably not a good fit. This is not your fault, and it is not the ideas fault. It is just the way things are.

Next time we will talk about what I have found to be useful when it comes to fleshing out your idea. Also I will point out some pitfalls you may wish to avoid.

- Josh

I Need My Pills!

If I ever believed there may come a day when I would no longer need to be medicated for my B-Polar disorder this week has proved the fallacy of those beliefs. It has been just a little more than one year since my doctor put me on a regime of Lithium and Prozac, the double barreled shotgun of mental health medication. They are ancient, venerated, powerful, and oh so fucking effective.

I think that it is safe to say that this past year has been the happiest and most productive of my life. I also think it is safe to further say that my “Better Living through Chemistry” has had a lot to do with it.

Not to minimize the effect of last year’s “Scorched Earth” avalanche of blog essays.

I have never been without my meds since they were prescribed. This is a very important thing that you need to, nay must, remember. It is very easy my friends and enemies to become used to living normally. It is so easy that when I started feeling like my old bad self again it was horrible.

My medication ran out on Sunday.

I had requested a refill through my normally reliable pharmacy five days earlier. There has never been a problem getting my medication in all of the years that I have been having them filled there and I never expected that there would be.

There was.

When I called the pharmacy on Friday I was informed that there had been some kind of screw up. Honestly the brain dead jack hole I talked to never gave me a clear answer. The end result was that I would not be able to get any meds until I spoke with my doctor. My doctor’s office does not take request for refills from patients only from pharmacies thus leaving me in the proverbial pickle. I already had an appointment to see my doctor on Wednesday so I figured I could just tough it out for three days.

Boy was I wrong.

On Monday I was a little antsy. On Tuesday I was feeling irritable and having trouble sleeping. When I woke up this morning I was ready to rip my own skin off, attack the neighbors, take over a radio station, and declare myself the Lord Valley. The begin demanding tribute and sacrifices from all.

So I felt bad.

When I arrived at the doctor’s office this morning I was not well. When I told her what had happened she called the prescription in immediately. After leaving the office I collected my bottle of precious’s from the pharmacy and took one.

I feel better now seven hours later.

So let that be a lesson to you boils and ghouls, if I am off my meds stay away or be ready with the stun guns!

- Josh

Wherein Josh Rides Side Saddle at the Rodeo

It has been a month since my last Journal entry. Doesn’t sound like a big deal until you consider that at this time last year I was making daily posts and destroying my relationship with some (many) members of my family.

So Josh, you ask, what the hell have you been doing this last month?

Well reader I have been making 3, count them 3, fucking revisions of “Shores of the Dead Book 1: The Rising” for J. Ellington Ashton Press. The process has been interesting in the best ways. At first I had to fight my urge to get mad at the notes I was getting. You have to remember folks that the last time I let somebody review and note my work (excluding Third Eye Games) was when I wrote Dead Reign and “Sold” it to Palladium Books. The experience was hell and I will never sugar coat it.

That is not me being a whiny bitch by the way it’s just the truth.

But the people at JEA (Catt, TL, Susan, and everyone else) have been amazing at holding my hand and making sure that I know that this is all polish and that I deserve to be where I am these days. I am lucky that I decided to submit to them and I am grateful that Stephanie made the offer.

Now other matters.

I am working on a Cthulhu Mythos story for an anthology. The great thing about this is that I was asked to submit to this book before they opened the submissions to the public. Anyone who knows my work knows how heavily I was influenced by Mr. Lovecraft.

*Snoopy Dance*

I have decided that I am going to turn, actually am turning, “Summer Camp of the Dead” into a serialized story. The first episode will be released in September. Not sure which week it will start on but it will be on a weekly release schedule. After that I will be releasing another serialized series, “Welcome to West Lake” this is Mayberry RFD meets The Twilight Zone, or maybe it’s Eerie Indiana.

So that’s it for today kids. I’m busy, I’m happy, and I am tired!

Somebody send me a refreshing alcoholic beverage!!!


- Josh

Have I Abandoned Ship?

So until last week I was going gangbusters on the revisions to book one of the Shores of the Dead Series. I was also balancing the other irons I had in the professional and personal blast furnaces. I was feeling like a fucking rock star!

Then reality smashed me in the back of the head, stole my wallet, touched me in my “no-no” places, and left me naked and confused behind the local Dairy Queen.

About six weeks or so ago my mother in law was hospitalized and had emergency surgery. She is OK now and is in a rehab facility working on getting better so she can go home in a few more weeks. But to say things have been difficult on the home front with mom sick, us being down one car since December, and having to arrange other child care options (mom is our primary sitter) would be an understatement. In that time I have signed with a publisher for my series of novels and have been working with my new editor Trevor (who is awesome) on revisions. My wife has been working ungodly hours and my middle daughter started her first job.

Last weekend I hit the fucking wall.

I have spent most of this week in a creative log jam. I have picked away at a few things but for the most part I have been recharging my batteries and fiddling with things that don’t matter. As it stands right now I have several things I NEED to concentrate on.

• Revisions of Book 1 of the Shores of the Dead Series
• Making some serious progress on my RPG project
• Short story for the RPG Lesbian Ninja Vampire Cheerleaders with Chainsaws
• This week’s Free Story Friday Offering
• Get with my new potential proofreader
• Get with the cover artist on the Shores of the Dead Anthology

So yeah, there are lots to do!


- Josh

A Busy Writer is a Happy Writer

Wow!

It has been awhile since I have put one of these up. Josh wears all of the hats in this world he has created and that makes it a little difficult to keep all of you updated. I apologize for not posting an update lately but here we go with a bullet point run down of my recent shenanigans.

• The Shores of the Dead Book 3 was released on May first and the sales have been brisk. The book has generated 4 reviews so far and they have all been 5 stars.
• I have completed three months without missing a single “Free Story Friday” Offering. YAY ME!!!
• Reviews keep trickling in for all of my work and they are almost universally positive.
• I will be writing a short story that will be appearing in the upcoming Lesbian Ninja Vampire Cheerleaders With Chainsaws Save The World From Zombies: The RPG so that will be amazing!
• Work on my new Zombie RPG is starting back up.
• The cover for the Shores of the Dead anthology “Tales from the Shores” is progressing and the Novella will be awesome!
• Work on my personal nonfiction project is plodding forward … but I am not ready to talk about that one yet.

So yeah, that is about it … OH YEAH THE SHORES OF THE DEAD SERIES HAS BEEN PICKED UP BY A PUBLISHER!!!

J. Ellington Ashton Press (www.jellingtonashton.weebly.com) has picked up the series for publication. Right now I am in the process of having the book reedited and performing rewrites. I will keep all of you updated on the progress of this process.

Well that’s it for now!


- Josh

www.joshhilden.com
www.gwspress.com
www.freestoryfriday.com
www.shoresofthedead.com

Red Alert 2 aka More FREE STUFF!

Tonight at midnight “The Shores of the Dead Book Two: The Journey” will be free to download on Kindle for five days. I was absolutely amazed by how many people took advantage of the free giveaway of book one. It still makes me grin to think that that many people (about 1000) were interested in reading my work. I decided that if that many people wanted to read the first book I would also make the second one available. Honestly I am doing all of this as a run up for the release of “The Shores of the Dead Book Three: The Final Stand” on May 1, 2013.

I bet you are all asking, “But Josh you have give us so much awesome free shit what can we do for you?”

Well I will tell you what you can do for old Josh.

First, download the books.

Second, read the books.

Third, if you like the books please Please PLEASE rate and review them on Amazon!

Fourth, spread the word!

I am a one man operation, well I hire artists and editors but when it comes to distribution and advertisement it’s all up to me. Every time I get a good rating and review it helps drive sales, and every time you tell someone about how awesome my books are it may cause them to check them out.

So please remember that they book is free tonight at midnight for five days and that I would love to have YOUR help! Also please forgive the Social Media spamming I will be doing for the next five days.


- Josh

Amazon Link:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Shores-Dead...

Am I still a Rookie?

Right now I am hard at work on fourth novel “Summer Camp of the Dead” and I was hit with a confounding question.

Am I still a writing Rookie?

I have been doing professional work in one form or another since 2007. With two novels published and receiving decent reviews, a Third ready to go on the first of May, and being neck deep on a fourth I think I have done a lot of the leg work that a real writer needs to do. I have been paid, not well but paid, in real money for the work I have done.

I tried to go the traditional route of getting an agent and then finding a publisher for more than two years before I said fuck it. Now I self publish my work through my own small press publishing company and I have to say there is a deep feeling of satisfaction knowing that I am captaining this ship. I hire and pay editors and cover artists. I have multiple projects going on at this very moment. I am busier and happier than I have ever been in my entire life.

But does that all make me a veteran or am I a kid playing games?

Do I need the validation of an outside publisher buying my stuff?

There are certain publishers I would love to have acquire my stuff. And there are things going on behind the scenes that may one day lead to that but I am treating that as something that may happen but is not relevant to my current course of action.

I think I have paid my dues.

I think I take my craft seriously.

I know I would do this even if I was not being paid.

So when do I start believing that I deserve to be here. When do I start to believe that my creations are as valid as anyone else’s?

At least I am happy.


- Josh