Rachel Searcey's Blog

Yossarian lives!

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Some parts of it are a bit dated (like finding the sexual assault of a nurse hilarious), but it all does weave into the greater narrative that is Catch-22, which is still relevant today on many levels.

Yossarian, who is dealing with what we now know as PTSD, is trying to survive the war. Whereas everyone else seems to be trying to kill him, and it doesn't bother them at all. He finds solace in sex and intimacy, and that's about it, and it's fleeting when he does get his chance. His fellow soldiers and superiors are all trying to survive as well, usually through entirely selfish means, and always at the expense of someone else.

Yosarrian can't trust anybody and is assailed from all sides from every sort of madness the war can throw at him. His mental and physical health starts to deteriorate as the big guys in charge push him to more and more extremes. No one ever acknowledges the war crimes, the prostitution, the exploitation of civilians, the black market, or the horribly violent deaths everyone dies from. Yossarian is going crazy, but the army won't let him out unless he asks but then that means he's not crazy because only a crazy person would want to stay in. Catch-22.

The book is riddled with clever bits of dialogue, back and forths that will have you cackling. There's a lot of slapstick, rumpy pumpy, and jokes that pay off in the end. You will see where Black Adder, Monty Python, MASH, too many sitcoms and stand up to count, have taken their inspiration from this classic novel. It is very long though, and I had to take breaks because sometimes, I felt like I was going mad. Poor Yossarian, going around in circles with no way out.

You will laugh and cry at everything he goes through. Just be aware, this was written in the 50s and it shows. It doesn't have any flattering female characters, but then, no one in Catch 22 is what I'd call a good or likeable person. But you will sympathize with them, and maybe you'll see some of these own people in your own life, and have a chuckle.



View all my reviews

If Ed Gein had a boyfriend

Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I was up to midnight last night, because I was on the last few chapters and couldn't stop.

Exquisite Corpse is like American Psycho and Interview with the Vampire mashed together.

Some background. This is one of those books I'd been circling around for years. I was obsessed with American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis, and re-read it a dozen times when I was a teenager. I watched and re-watched the movie. Same with Interview, which I just re-read recently.

The setting is 90s gay subculture in New Orleans. The characters are all white gay males, except for Tran, a young Vietnamese man who is finding his way in this dangerous world. There are two serial killers, one from England and one from NOLA. There worlds collide in a horrifying and beautiful explosion of ultra-violence, passion, and erotic sex play. On top of this is the HIV/AIDS epidemic, which is being antagonized by the US Government and society in general.

In this tangled web of fatal intercourse, social mayhem, and roiling hate, our characters (Jay, Arthur/Andrew, Lucas, and Tran) crash into each other with a ferocity and need, likely only seen in a Cronenburg film. They are all lonely, in their own twisted way, feeling ostracized and punished from every direction. When they seek solace in one another, it's with disastrous consequences.

Do I even need to say the trigger warnings? Because there are a LOT OF THEM, and you should not read this book if you are in any way squeamish. If you could read The Girl Next Door by Jack Ketchum and not throw the book across the room, then you can read Exquisite Corpse. More than once I had to put the book down and take a break.

Anything bad that could happen to someone happens in this book. Your worst nightmares. Young, vulenerable, gay men go home with well to do strangers in hopes of a bed for the night, to score some drugs, a meal in exchange for some physical intimacy. And what do they get? Either raped, murdered, left for dead, or infected. Probably all of those at once if you live in the tortured world of Exquisite Corpse.

All of this aside, the book is beautifully written, and is a masterclass in writing horror with social and political commentary. A lot of horror writers think that the splatter is the thing, missing the point that you should have something to say if you're going to shock and disgust the reader. Make them think while recoiling!

You'll enjoy this novel if you like: Kathe Koja, Cronenberg's films Dead Ringers or Crash, and as mentioned above Interview, American Psycho, and The Girl Next Door.

TW: necrophilia, graphic sexual violence, suicide, suicidal ideation, graphic depiction of AIDS, graphic sex scenes, BDSM, brief mentions of incest, animal cruelty



View all my reviews

These people have TOO MUCH MONEY

The Sundial by Shirley Jackson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


What DOES one do when the world is ending, and you're terribly rich and terribly bored?
The answer is simple, declare yourself the queen of the apocalypse and begin preparations for the oncoming hellscape!

Aunt Fanny is a woman approaching middle age, and her brother Richard is married to that bitch Mrs. Halloran. They live collectively at the massive Halloran estate, somewhere in New England. Richard's son Lionel has just passed away, and his wife Maryjane and Fancy are living there now. Essex is a hanger on, "employed" by Mrs. Halloran, to "organize the library." But it's heavily implied he spends his time pleasing Mrs. Halloran, since her elderly husband Richard is addled and wheelchair bound.

Ms. Oglivie lives there too, and seems to have maybe been a mistress of Richard's. She claims to be Fancy's tutor, but who knows really, because she's another hanger on. To cut it short, none of these people have anywhere else to go, no real jobs, and the Halloran estate is large and rambling, plenty of room for everyone!

So when Aunt Fanny starts having prophetic visions in which her father proclaims the end of the world, what starts as everyone playing along, becomes an event that everyone actually believes will happen. As the family descends into collective madness, they all prepare in their own ways.

You can go mad, start doomsday prepping, pick your apocalypse partner to begin the new race, sift people into "servants" and "upper class", plan your outfit, throw a big party.... These are just some of the many activities the Halloran clan gets up to.

Victor LaValle calls The Sundial darkly humorous, and I agree. It is like an Edward Gorey story in novel form, or an ensemble play about absurdism. Fancy, the child, mouths off, there's at least 2 trysts happening at any given time. If you decide to escape the Halloran estate, well the driver is a perverted lech and you're better off staying in the house.



View all my reviews

It's hard to love yourself, so love someone else (unless it becomes an obsession)

Creep: A Love Story by Emma van Straaten

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I sped through this, it was such a juicy read.

At first I was mad...Emma van Straaten seems like the whitest name ever. Alice in Creep is a bi-racial, overweight British Indian woman. Halfway through the book, I looked up van Straaten and was delighted to find out that she does, in fact, relate a lot to her main character, and she was writing from experience. As a bi-racial (Indian and white) woman, a lot of the "horror" in this book was directly related to both my childhood and the dreaded approach of middle age.

Alice is severely mentally ill. She hates herself, her body, her ethnic looks. But she's obsessed with Tom aka Him, the man whose apartment she cleans once a week. She violates his space every time: curling up in his bed, collecting his trash, licking his toothbrush, and more and more horrible things that become more extreme as the novel goes on. Honestly, don't read this book while eating, because it was seriously gross.

She has willingly separated herself from the two people who love and support her the most, her (white) mother and bi-racial sister. She's stuck with co-workers she doesn't identify with, despite their cloying kindness. She gets set up with a nice guy who loves her looks, but her toxic mindset sabotages any attempts at happiness or acceptance.

The writing skirts into Kathe Koja territory, with sex, bodily fluids, violence, and hate all mixed up together in a rancid stew. If you are a fan of the movies Evil Dead Trap 2 (about an overweight Asian female serial killer) or May (a strange girl becomes obsessed with a young man who doesn't understand her extreme interests), then you will love Creep. Also Koja, like I mentioned above, some of Kolesnik's Waif, and maybe a dash of Cronenberg, if you love damaged characters who you can't help but pity and hate at the same time as they spiral into self destruction.



View all my reviews

The problem, it me

The Deep Dark by Molly Knox Ostertag

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


The title is very accurate. I loved Ostertag's other graphic novels, which were more lighthearted and aimed at a younger audience, while still dealing with some sensitive topics.

The Deep Dark, on the other hand, is very heavy with emotional, physical, and psychological turmoil. Do not expect the story to be all cutesy just based on the art.

Mags is a lesbian in a secret, physical-only relationship with Ava (who is publicly dating a boy). She lives with and is the primary caretaker for her ailing grandmother. Her mother is in and out of the picture, leading her own life, and her father left a long time ago. On top of all this, Mags harbors a secret that literally lives in her basement. It's a dragon creature she was born with that requires blood sustenance every night. If Mags doesn't feed it, they will both die.

Mags is struggling through daily life when an old friend comes back. A boy who is now a girl named Nessa. She's sweet and bubbly but has problems of her own. And she knows about Mags secret, because Mags told Nessa about it when they were children, before Nessa moved away.

Nessa feels responsible that the dragon creature escaped its cage and killed a boy, Emil, who bullied Nessa and Mags when they were children. What happens as a result is a tale laced with guilt and overwhelming responsibility, and how damaging both of these can be to a person's psyche.

The art was okay...not as good as the other stories by Ostertag. It felt kind of bare honestly, especially with all the heavy stuff going on. I think if you're a fan of Ostertag and you want something more grown up, you will enjoy this. But for the casual graphic novel reader, it might be too much. And it's definitely not for children!

TW: self harm, grandparent death, toxic relationships





View all my reviews

It's a mad mad mad world

Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


If you like the cynical and dark sci fi of Kurt Vonnegut, Philip K Dick, and have a soft spot for the Hunger Games' muttations, you will love this weird post apocalyptic story from Atwood. It's a complete 360 from Handmaid's Tale.

Oryx and Crake revels in the ridiculous and the extremes of society. Our weakness for lust and companionship leads to the downfall of civilization at the hands of Crake, a scientific genius who doesn't care for humanity and only sees the flaws.

But Crake was friends with Snowman, who now lives in the aftermath without another human soul (so he believes). The only other inhabitants are Crake's experimental new humanoid race, who have a medley of animal traits that eliminate all the "bad" things from society- war, pain, crime, jealousy, and competition. These "Crakers" as they are called, worship Snowman and Crake as deities, and have no idea about the worldwide pandemic that wiped out all the regular humans.

Oryx is the beautiful girl/woman who Snowman is obsessed with and Crake ends up hiring to help teach the Crakers about life.

It all ends in a tangled weave as Snowman reflects on his life with Oryx and Crake pre-pandemic. The problem is, what does he do now?

Oryx and Crake was written in 2003, years before the Covid pandemic. But it's eerie how Atwood predicted the world's response...and how the elite would avoid consequences and have little thought for their actions.

There are several heavy scenes and discussions about CSA, rape, and other awful things. Atwood doesn't shy away from anything, much like Handmaid's Tale.

I'll be picking up the next book from the library to see what other madness Atwood has in store for me.



View all my reviews

It's an apt title, really

Bad Brains by Kathe Koja

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Ow...my head hurts...but I love it?

Kathe Koja has done it again with her story of a mentally ill man who suffers from a horrendous brain injury. What happens after is a road trip adventure that only Koja could come up with.

There's loads of surrealistic and hallucinogenic imagery in this one. Koja's writing is simultaneously jarring, quipped, yet immersive, plunging you into a nightmare on the road to self-destruction.

Austen (not named after the city), is a down on his luck painter who has never had any real success. Peter, the gallery owner and Austen's friend, pushes him to paint and tries to get him to socialize after his failed marriage to Emily. Emily has left Austen high and dry after 8 years, refusing to put up with his angsty, artistic bullshit.

In a freak accident, Austen smashes his skull open in a 7-11 parking lot. He recovers perfectly, according to the doctors (and there are a lot of them), but he still sees some weird silvery THING that constantly haunts him and pops up at the most inconvenient times. And it's a Koja story, so he refuses psychiatric help and keeps his visions to himself. Back at home after the accident, he drinks heavily, suffers a nervous breakdown, and the hallucinations just get worse.

From there, he decides to flee all responsibility and live out of his car. This is when the madness truly starts and when I got hooked. Austen meets Russell, another down on his luck alcoholic, and a serious enabler. Together, they embark on the worst road trip ever, sleeping in cars, dealing with Austen's cracks with reality, and Russell's constant need for debauchery (drinking, women, eating).

Let's say the ending is pure Koja, and if you've read Strange Angels or The Cipher, you know what you're in for. Unlike Strange Angels (which made me depressed), I found Bad Brains easy to read. It runs along at a clipped pace and takes it with you, whether you want to go or not. Koja is a master of writing about the losing of one's mind. You might need to take a cold shower after to shock your brain into functioning normally again.



View all my reviews

Ghost Wall by Sarah Moss

Ghost Wall by Sarah Moss

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This little book was terrifying. I was on my edge of the seat and read it all in one sitting. It's very short and a real page turner. There are no ghosts as the title suggests, but there is a monster in the form of toxic masculinity.

Sulevia (Sil for short) is 17 and is stuck on an "archeological experiment" getaway for two weeks with her parents- her narcissistic/abusive dad and enabler mother. They were invited by a professor and his handful of students (2 boys and a girl, Molly). They have to live like it's prehistoric aka hunter/gatherer times. Which is actually hard to do in rural England where a lot of it is developed and no longer "wild". I've read some about how there are no true native Britons, that they are in fact a mix of different races, almost tribes, before the Romans came along and conquered. This is a point of contention for Sil's father, who is convinced that these native Britons are his heritage, and if he keeps digging deep enough, he'll find the nobility and identity he so desperately craves as a middling bus driver.

Of course, it's no where to be found, but this doesn't stop the professor and his male students from getting caught up in the dad's romanticism, at the expense of Sil, who always receives the brunt of her father's frustrations. The enabler mother does nothing to defend or support Sil, deepening the dysfunction. They have a tangled relationship which I felt accurately represents the co-dependence victims often feel for their abuser. Sil despises his violence and hateful views, but loves his rare bursts of kindness and knowledge of pre-history. You can't help but feel deeply sorry for her as things get worse and worse during the experiment.

Beautiful, vibrant Molly, the female student under the professor, allows Sil a glimpse of life out from under her father's thumb, but still she resists when help or solace is offered. Sil is old enough to be out on her own, but her father has crushed any sense of independence or hope in her. The entire story is told from Sil's POV which plunges you directly into her contradictory thinking. If you ever wonder why victims have a hard time leaving their abusers, Ghost Wall offers some insight.

A lot of the story focuses on bog bodies, and Sil and her father's fascination with them to the point of morbidity. A lot of the bog bodies were victims, like Sil. They had broken bones, seemed to have been tied up and drugged. In a strange way, Sil identifies with them and fears a similar fate, with good reason.

The ending is satisfying, that's all I'll say without spoiling it. I am eager to find other books by Sarah Moss. Her writing is emotional and vibrant. I really felt like I was there in the moors, suffering right along with Sil. If you enjoy stories of family tragedy and dysfunction, you'll love this quick read by Moss.



View all my reviews

The Wicked Witch

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


This is my first post to the GR "blog" which I supposed I should be using as a functioning writer. I pretty much write consistent reviews for the books I read, so maybe someone will want to follow alone with what I'm reading? Just don't take my reviews too seriously, and I love discussing them, so please comment!

I first read this when I was way too young, maybe 12 or 13. A lot of it went over my head as a kid. But I had also read a lot of the original Oz books by Baum and knew a lot of the references.

Reading this is an adult, who has forgotten all of the Oz books, I am surprised by how political and broad minded Wicked really is. Like everyone else, I went to see the musical when it was on stage in my local theater in the early 2000s and we recently saw the film.

Maguire is a master world builder and his devotion to the world of Oz rivals that of GoT, Dune, and many other fantasy novels along the same lines.

There are a few group sex scenes which kind of took me by surprise. They are pretty subversive by today's standards even. I think the reason it blindsided me was because the rest of the book is so serious and political, with scathing societal satire mixed in.

I only gave it 4 stars because about 75% through the book starts to really drag. There's a lot of talking and discussion. Then the last quarter is all the action and madness with Dorothy arriving at the Witch's castle. It ends pretty abruptly after that, which also took me by surprise. But there are a lot of random time jumps throughout. And although the book is "the life and times of the WWotW", Maguire spends a lot of time with other characters. Unlike the movie and musical, Glinda takes a back seat here, with the Wizard and the Witch coming to political blows instead.

This is also a downer of a book. Nothing good happens. Everyone is pretty shitty to everyone else, is a hypocrite, or is out for their own gains. It was honestly hard to get through sometimes because it starts to beat you down. This book was "grimdark" before it became a thing in genre writing.

Nevertheless, it's still a well written book that tackles some difficult themes (good vs bad, power = responsibility, fighting the Man, etc).



View all my reviews