Ruth O'Neil's Blog, page 16

Bridal Bouquets

I often think of weddings when April rolls around, perhaps that's because it's our anniversary month. This month my husband and I celebrate 24 years of marriage. As the years go by I realize more and more that God made him for me.  When we were younger and thinner
April 13, 1991
Planning a wedding down to every last detail can sometimes be a tedious task. For sentimental brides, they want everything to be special and have a double meaning. It doesn’t matter that no one else knows the meaning behind the necklace she is wearing or even what the rings mean to the bride and groom, just as long as there is a secret meaning behind it all.

But what about the bride’s bouquet? All brides want the flowers they hold in their hands on their wedding day to be extra special. There are flowers that can be part of a bride’s bouquet that have meaning.

So what are these flowers?

Daisy – The white daisy symbolizes innocence. The traditional concept of white seems to be lost on today’s weddings. When a bride wore a white dress, it used to mean that she was sexually pure. While many couples choose to live together before marriage, there are those who remain pure until their wedding night. There is nothing more innocent than being able to give your whole self to your husband on your wedding night.

Violet – The violet stands for faithfulness. In a society where faithfulness is just about obsolete, that makes it all that much more important. There are so many things that try to distract us – on TV, posters at the mall, the Internet and all sorts of other advertisements try to entice us into being unfaithful. Couples need to be faithful and never let that faithfulness falter.

Thyme – This may seem a strange sort of plant to put into a bridal bouquet, but it symbolizes grace and elegance. There is no other time when a woman feels more elegant than on her wedding day. We plan everything from our hairdo to our toenails! Elegance is definitely the word of the day.

Tansy – Tansy stands for immortality. While we know that our beloved will someday pass away, our love for them will live on forever. Women I know who have lost a husband after years and years of marriage still keep little mementos around the house to remind themselves of their undying love for the one who stole their heart.

Sage – This fragrant herb symbolizes esteem. There is no greater emotion we can give to our spouses except to revere and esteem him or her. Believe me, all men like to know that they are truly adored by the woman they married and vice versa.

Rosemary – Rosemary actually has several meanings: remembrance, loyalty, friendship and the lastingness of love. Loyalty, friendship and love are all important parts of a marriage. We can’t love someone who is not our friend first. We cannot be loyal to those we don’t consider our friends. Also on a regular basis, such as our anniversary, we need to remember that we are best friends and that we love each other.

Mint – Solomon talk about “rejoicing in the wife of your youth” in the Bible. There is nothing comparable to the joy of new love that mint represents. The experience is all new and exciting. That excitement has a tendency to die down. It is work to keep a marriage alive, but it is necessary. If someday you find your love seems to not be as strong as it used to be remember what made it happen in the first place and rejoice over that.

Marjoram – Marjoram stands for beauty. A groom thinks there is nothing more beautiful than his bride walking down the aisle toward him. She is beautiful and she is radiant. All brides feel beautiful on their special day.

Lily of the Valley – Lilies symbolize the return of happiness. While it may not seem quite possible on your wedding day, disagreements will be fought and make ups will happen. Sadness may be there for a time, but we need to make sure that happiness will return again.

Lemon Balm – Lemon balm is often referred to because of its healing power. In a bride’s bouquet it stands for longevity. Difficulties will arise in marriages: finances may not always be as plentiful, jobs will be lost as well as other loved ones. But it is the healing touch that the couple can bring to one another, in the form of support that will make the marriage last for years to come.

Ivy – Ivy stands for fidelity. When we get married, we are promising ourselves and our bodies to just one person. Cheating can happen in more ways than one. What we allow our eyes to see, our ears to hear, and our minds to dwell on can all be forms of infidelity. Fortunately, those are choices we can easily make by saying, “No!”

Fern – The fern symbolizes sincerity. Believe it or not, I have a friend in a miserable marriage. After she and her husband got married he told her everything about him had been a lie. He thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and he did and said whatever he had to do to get her to be his. Marriage needs to be based on the truth and never on lies. Always be sincere in what we say and do.

Dogwood – Dogwood is a tree that can endure intense storms. It is extremely durable. Marriages also weather intense personal storms. We often hear the phrase, “it will make them or break them.” If you want to be able to go through storms and come out on the other side a stronger couple, you need to be durable like the dogwood. Stand strong together. Some couples have weathered great storms even before getting married.

Basil – Basil symbolizes the quickening of love. It seems people often fall in love at first sight and unfortunately fall out of love just as quickly. I enjoy seeing elderly couples holding hands. Their love has endured the tests of time and they are still in love just as they were at the beginning.

Azalea – Azalea stands for temperance. Often we will need to show some self-control in our marriage. Restraint in ourselves is an excellent quality at times. Arguments will be a part of our marriages, but they should only be in moderation and over something important. Remember, sometimes it’s good to give in. If something isn’t going your way, think about it. Is it important enough to argue about or should you just let it go? Certainly giving in all the time is not good. It is just an invitation to be treated like a doormat. Moderation is key. Fight for what’s important – give in for what’s not.

With all these flowers as part of a wedding bouquet, it will definitely have more meaning than simply being beautiful. Even if you don’t want to carry all these flowers around at one time, you can place them all over the church or reception hall. You can even leave place cards in front of the arrangement with the meanings typed on it. All these flowers symbolize virtues that should be part of any marriage. Keep them as a reminder to put these virtues into practice all throughout your married life.

Song of the Week - "We Will Glorify"

Sometimes you're at a loss for words.

Sometimes you just need to praise.

Song of the Week - "Arise My Love"

This is Easter week. One of my favorite Easters, one that still sticks out in my mind today, was when I was five years old. It was actually Monday, the day after Easter and my mind must have been full of questions. My brother and dad had gone to church for Awana for the evening. My 5-month old baby sister was asleep in her cradle and my mom made us cups of hot cocoa (must have been one of those cold Easters). We sat together on the couch, in the peace and quiet, while I asked her one question after another. That was the night I gave my life to Jesus. My life has never been the same.

For me Easter is definitely a time for celebrating!

Matthew 28: 1-6a
"In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre. And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it. His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow: And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men. And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said."


Listen and focus on the RISEN SAVIOR this week.

Song of the Week - "Come as You Are"

When I was a child I remember reading a devotion where one girl and her mother drove around the neighborhood picking up her friends for a “come as you are” party. It didn’t matter what the girls were doing at the time or what they were wearing, they needed to come just as they were. This devotion has stuck in my mind for many years. This is a great picture of how God sees us and how we can come to him no matter how we look, act, or feel. He will clean us, heal us, love us, or give us whatever it is that we need.

Now, as a writer, I look back on the author of that devotion and wonder if my words will stick in people’s minds for years to come. Can/will I say anything that will lead people to Christ? Can/will I plant any seed that may have the slightest effect on anyone’s life?

I don’t know. But I do know that I can’t stop trying. God wants people to come to Him just as they are. Think about all the people in your life that you know need the Savior. Share this week’s song with them. Maybe it will have a positive influence on them.

Feminism

My mom and I...a few years ago.
She taught me what it was to be feminine.Feminism. Now there’s a word I hate! That one word has taken everything God intended a woman to be and trampled it on the ground while shouting, “You can be something better!” What can be better than what God intended? We are to submit to our husbands and take care of our children. Feminism distorts the act of submission. Submission is not giving in to man’s every whim as some would have you believe. Submission is respect for a husband. I state my opinion to my husband all the time on family matters. Sometimes he takes my thoughts to heart, sometimes he doesn’t. He makes the final decision that he thinks is best for us as a family. A man cannot feel like a man when he is not respected. Men go looking for what they need elsewhere. It isn’t sex they are looking for, but love and respect.

One day a friend told me, “When we are all standing before the judgment seat of God, the man is the one who will have to answer for all that happened in the family. I don’t want to be in the man’s shoes for anything!”

God intended women to be the helpmeet of the husband. We are to take care of our families in a way that only a woman can. To many, taking care of the children, cooking food and cleaning the house sounds like a prison sentence, but it’s not when you look at it through God’s eyes.

Another thing I learned is that submission is not giving up control. When there is a problem, I have to pray and leave it in God’s hands, not bully my husband around until he does what I want. God can take care of things so much better than I can.

I know one man that believes the woman shouldn’t have to obey her husband. They are miserable in their marriage. The little things he says that are meant to be funny are his true feelings and they’re hurtful. Anyone that knows him can see it in his eyes.

Feminism, as the world describes it, isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Women that once struggled to get out of the house to work in corporate fields are now struggling to get back home. If women played the role God gave them, I believe that there wouldn’t be as many teenage pregnancies and there wouldn’t be so many kids in Juvenile Hall. Women need to get back where God put them and that is making nurturing the family a priority, not listening when society tells them they can be so much more than a wife and mother. There is no greater calling.

Song of the Week - "Somewhere in the World"

My husband came home from work late one night. While he was in the shower I warmed up his dinner, got a TV tray ready so he could relax and eat at the same time, fixed him a drink, and placed his fork and napkin on the tray. When he came out of the bathroom, I gave him all that information.
My son was sitting there watching and listening, then said to me, “That’s what I expect from you from now on.” Of course this was said with a grin on his face.
I looked to him and said, “You can expect it from your wife.”
With another smirk he added, “It is your job.”
This time my look was a little more like a glare.
“Of course with that attitude I won’t get a wife, will I?”
This entire conversation was in jest, just in case you don’t know my son, but he made me realize that as he gets older, he needs to seriously realize the roles of husband or wife and what to expect and what not to expect. He also needs to realize that sometimes expectations are not met.
That brings me to this week’s song. This is a precious song to me as it was sung at my parents’ church the day she was born. My mom sat there blubbering as she listened to the lady who sang it. There have been a rash of babies being born or about to be born in my circle of friends. As a parent who is now on the other side of this song, my advice to new parents, is to start praying now. It is never too early to pray for the one your child will spend the rest of his or her life with.
Listen and pray for your child and for that child somewhere out there.

My mom holding her first grandchild, my little B,
the only grandchild she would ever hold. My little B, all grown up! *sigh*
And the "little boy" I've prayed for
since the day my daughter was born.

Clean Indie Reads March Madness Blog Hop

About two years ago a friends asked me about teaching a writing class at her homeschool co-op I immediately got excited about it for several reasons. I already homeschooled my own kids so I was used to teaching. None of them had caught the writing bug. I love mentoring others in their writing endeavors. This was my opportunity to give back.
I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was 9 years old. I was fortunate enough to have people, mainly my mother, who were there for me all along, giving me opportunities that most young wanna-be writers don’t have.
I entered a poetry contest sponsored by a “nationally acclaimed” publication. I received an honorable mention. Yes, I know now that it was a scam to get money from me, which they didn’t, but it was a huge boost to a young writer’s ego.
Then there were the Arts Festivals at school. I entered the poetry competition there, winning second place one year and third the next.  I was thrilled! Although the judging was blind, I later found out the judge was my mom’s best friend, a professor at Syracuse University. She didn’t know to whom she was writing when she added some very sweet comments to my entry. That same lady gave me a dictionary as a graduation gift when she learned I was going to college to be a writer.
Those poetry awards and that dictionary are treasures I still have today. Because of special people in my life, who in some way mentored me and helped me begin my writing career, that is why I want to so the same.
Think about being a mentor to some young person who wants to follow in your chosen career. I promise, you will be blessed.
Now, on to business. March 16-20 is the Clean Indie Reads March Madness Blog Hop. Follow the links to find some great (and clean) books at discounted rates. You can also fill in the form below to be entered into the giveaway. You can also follow the link to find some other great blogs participating in the Blog Hop.


sweetbloghops.blogspot.com
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Song of the Week - Thrive

Have you ever felt like you were stuck? Stuck in a job. Stuck in your ministry. Stuck. Stuck. Stuck. The bad news is we’ve ALL been there. The good news is it’s only for a time.
I can’t help but think about the Israelites when they were held in captivity. Now they were stuck! However, God told them to not stop living, even with life as it was. They were to continue worshiping. They were to continue to have families. They were to continue to thrive.
That’s our song of the week. No matter where you are in life, no matter how bad things may look from your perspective, you can still Thrive!

Song of the Week - "Forgiveness"

Forgiveness is something people crave. I don’t know about you, but if I’ve hurt someone, it eats away at me until I go and ask forgiveness. I guess I can’t stand for people to be upset with me. You see, I don’t always think before I speak. It’s been a lifelong struggle, although I’m learning…very, very slowly. I think that’s why I enjoy writing so much. I can always go back and scribble things out that I wrote that shouldn’t be written. Unfortunately, I can’t do that with words that come out of my mouth. What about those people that repeatedly hurt you? In Matthew 18:22 the Bible tells us to forgive people more than we may care to.
A lack of forgiveness in this world is one of the reasons I wrote Come Eat at My Table. People need to take the initiative and ask for forgiveness if they have done the hurting. On the other side, people who have been hurt, need to forgive, even if the one who did the hurting didn’t apologize. Holding in that anger hurts you more than it does them. This doesn’t mean you have to trust them with your life or anything , you do have to be sensible when dealing with people like that.
Just don’t become a bitter, old person, harboring ill feelings until it shows on your face. I’m sure you know that type of people I’m talking about.
My song for the week talks about forgiveness. Give it a listen and prayerfully consider if you need to forgive or ask someone’s forgiveness.





Visit my Pinterest board to see the other songs I chose for the soundtrack for Come Eat at My Table https://www.pinterest.com/pin/480618591454537708/

You can read the first chapter of Come Eat at My Table for free here

Watch the trailer here
Or purchase a copy by clicking on the cover.

Rhyannon Yates Author Interview

My guest author today is Rhyannon Yates. Rhyannon began writing at the age of five with a charming story about a misunderstood girl and her pet hippo. She grew out of her pachyderm-peddling ways, and spends her time now trying to crank out the next great American fantasy novel while binge-watching Netflix.

Rhyannon lives in Florida with her husband, her cat, and her two offspring.

Here is an interview she did for our Indie Lights Book Parade.


ILBD: What inspired you to write your first book?

RY: I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, but Catalyst grew out of two different writing projects, one of which has early drafts that go back to my thirteen-year-old self. I was working on both projects simultaneously, and had the problem for one that I had a great antagonist, but no real problem, while for the other, I had an awesome conflict, but not defined antagonist. I ended up picking up my antagonist from one story, as well as a few of said story’s key characters, and plunking them into the world of the other.


IMBP: What book are you reading now?

RY: Abhorsen by Garth Nix. I’m rereading it for the first time in years, and I’d forgotten how much I love the Abhorsen Series. Garth Nix combines realism with fantasy so seamlessly, and the idea of stepping through the veil between life and death, and the notion of controlled versus uncontrolled magic influenced me as an author quite a bit. The more I read of his work, the more I see his influence in my own writing, which, on the one hand, is awesome, because Garth Nix is amaze-balls, but on the other, makes me wonder if I’m being too derivative or unoriginal. Reading is so stressful as an author. Sometimes you read something and think “If this nonsense can get published, I can definitely succeed!”, and other times you read things that are just genius and spend the next week in a spiral of booze and self-loathing, researching accounting school because you’ll NEVER succeed as an author.


ILBP: Do you have any advice for other writers?

RY: Not that I’m a great success (YET), but the best advice I’ve found is just to write. Life comes prepackaged with excuses. I have two young children, a nine-to-five job, volunteer responsibilities, and a marriage to maintain. Life is busy, and writing time doesn’t just present itself. Make time, and guard that time. It’s easy to blow it off and see it as expendable, but the Law of Infinite Probability notwithstanding, your novel won’t write itself.


ILBP: Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

RY: I feel like that is one of my biggest challenges, is that my work doesn’t really have a message. I remember that I used to get so annoyed in English class when we were supposed to dissect these works of literature to find what the author's message was. To borrow from John Green, books belong to their readers. If you read Catalyst and find a message that impacts you in a profound way, that’s awesome, and I’m glad that the book is able to mean something to you. If you read it and enjoy it and walk away without feeling like any great message was conveyed, I’m great with that, too. I’m much more into the idea of a story that stays with someone than in trying to impart anything deep and philosophical.


ILBP: What are you working on right now?

RY: I’m in the middle of writing a book called “Catalyst”, which will hopefully be ready for publication in June. It’s been a long time coming, and now that the end is in sight, I’m starting to get really excited about the future of the book, whether it will be a series or a standalone, that sort of thing. The book deals a lot with race issues, social hierarchies, and the personal effects of mental illnesses like anxiety, all set against the backdrop of this fractured world that has literally sequestered itself in a bubble, away from the rest of the universe.


ILBP: While you were writing, did you ever feel as if you were one of the characters?

RY: There are definitely pieces of myself in Levi. I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic my entire adult life, and Levi is a particularly anxious hero. Our triggers are different, but the results are the same. Levi fears change and lack of stability, where my triggers tend to fall more into the realm of the irrational. We do share several anxiety coping methods, which you can see when Levi gets really nervous, and which I didn’t really put in as a conscious “Oh yes, let’s give this character a similar anxiety tic”, but which I feel fit him well anyway.

About her book:

Two thousand years after the Schism, the borders are beginning to weaken. Wraiths are turning to dust in the streets, people are dropping dead, the chests torn open and inner organs burned away, and all Levi Keats wants to do is deliver a disciplinary summons and go home to the safety of his University office. A simple administrative duty turns perilous with the addition of a suspected murderer, a rogue border patrol agent, and the increasing possibility that prophesies of the Great Cataclysm are slightly less fictitious than previously assumed.

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