Ruth O'Neil's Blog, page 15

Saying Thanks

Just for the moment, forget that I’m a writer. I’m a reader. This past week I read a book (I can’t tell what that book is because it’s not out yet) that touched me in a way that I doubt the author intended (I can’t share that, either, for personal reasons). Has a book ever just secretly made you smile? Has a book ever confirmed at least one purpose you have a life? That is exactly how I feel about this particular book.
What did I do?
I looked up the author’s contact information and sent her little note. I hope it was encouraging to her to know what it was that I took away from her work. Okay, now I’m back to being a writer. Having been an author on the receiving end of those types of notes, I tell you they ARE very encouraging. And they always come at just the right time… those moments when I’m too tired, too discouraged, and never want to put pen to paper again.

I encourage you as a reader to let authors know what they meant to you, whether it’s a personal message, or a raving review left on Amazon, Goodreads, etc. You may not be a writer, but you can still make a difference in someone’s life with your words.
So, to all of you out there...thanks for writing and thanks for reading!

Song of the Week – "My Redeemer Lives"

There are some songs that when I hear them, I think of a particular person. Maybe it is that person’s favorite song. Maybe I heard them sing it at some point. I think God does that on purpose. When I hear that song, I pray for the person that it brings to mind. This week’s song always reminds me of my friend Ashley. She sang this in church for special music one day, making it officially “her” song in my mind. Whenever I hear this song I am reminded to pray for her and her husband as they are now missionaries.

It’s a powerful song. Give it a listen, and if you think about it, say a little prayer for Ashley, her family, and their ministry. I know God will hear and answer your prayers. 

Memorial Day Song of the Week

I missed the Song of the Week last week simply because life was crazy. There are times when life makes me feel like breaking out in song. Do you ever feel that way? If I had to choose a song for last week it would definitely be the “Hallelujah Chorus” from Handel’s Messiah. My husband and I got to take a long weekend together…by ourselves…with no kids…alone for our anniversary. Hallelujah! Then my son finished school for the year, which deserves another rousing rendition of Hallelujah!

The song of the week this week is much more subdued. With today being Memorial Day, I wanted to encourage you to take a moment and remember all those who have lost their lives fighting so we can have the freedoms we have today. Yes, there is much to complain about because of what is happening within our country and government, but we still live in the greatest nation on earth and there were those who made the ultimate sacrifice.

Friends for a Season

Can you remember your first best friend? All of us can think of at least one classmate we considered our dearest friend. For me it was Eileen. We met in first grade and hit it off the very first day. I was the new kid at school and she shared her snack with me. We did everything together at school and away from school. We remained best friends until several years later when her dad’s job transferred him and the family to another city.

Over the years people have come in and out of my life. Have you ever wondered why people come and go so quickly? I have often wondered why God allowed me to get close to someone when He knew we would lose contact two weeks later.

Friends are often in our life for a season; for some purpose that needs fulfilling. There was a girl I grew close to while we were going to the same school. We ended up going to different high schools, but kept in touch because the guys we dated were relatives. We even kept up with each other for a while after we were married. During that time, I was able to help her cope with the loss of her mother. This was something I had already been through and knew what to say and what not to say. It was shortly after that we lost contact with each other and rarely spoke. I believe helping her cope with that death was why she was in my life for a season.

There was a young lady that I was mentoring. I looked forward to spending time with her at my house and taking her to church with me. After only a year, she too was gone. Once again I mourned over the loss of a close friendship. I remained disappointed until I received a letter from her in the mail thanking me for taking her to church. She told me she had not heard about God before and because of my invitation and my friendship she accepted the Lord as her Savior and was soon to be baptized. I believe her salvation was why she was in my life for a season.

There was another woman that I saw every week at church when my husband and I were newlyweds. I was having trouble dealing with one aspect of my marriage. When I voiced my concerns to her one day, she gave me one piece of advice that I have kept close to my heart to this day, as well as passed on to other young married women and now to my own daughter as they are contemplating marriage. She helped me through a difficult time. Now, even though we still live in the same town, we hardly ever speak and see each other even less. I believe saving my marriage was why she was in my life for a season.

There were a couple of friends I had in my life for a couple of years. I had been friends with both of them, but then all three of us got together and became extremely close, sharing some of the most intimate details of our lives. It wasn’t until our friendship grew and we really got to know each other that we realized how much we had in common. During those few years we wrote a devotional book together to help encourage others. After the book came out, we kind of went our separate ways for various reasons; certainly not that we meant to grow apart. While we do still speak to each other occasionally, we don’t talk on the phone and email everyday like we used to. Both of those friends were in my life for a season.

Then there have been friends who have come into my life, spent a season and left due to my convictions. These were people who realized the depth of my convictions on some topics and didn’t think they wanted to be my friend anymore. There have been friends that have come into my life and because of my convictions I have terminated the friendship, not wanting them to have any kind of ungodly influence over me.

I do believe that as Christians we need to have some friendships, or even acquaintances, with non-Christians. It is those relationships where we are truly needed. No, we don’t need to cram the Bible down their throats every time we are together, but maybe we could stand up for what we believe in by choosing not to see a particular movie or choosing not to have an alcoholic drink with our dinner. Our quiet testimony can sometimes speak volumes, more so than any words we can say.

There have been people in my life just for a season of fun or for reasons I may never know why until I am in heaven. Every one of us could think of similar examples from life. When a good friend does come into your life take advantage of it. Get to know them as well as you can. Teach them what you know. Let them to teach you a few things. Friends come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes you help them. Sometimes they help you. These people also come in all different seasons of life.

Mother’s Day Song of the Week

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. It’s always bittersweet for me. I got to spend the day with all of my children which was wonderful! It’s not very often we all together around the same table anymore. (Letting your kids grow up, move out, and make lives of their own is hard!)

I enjoyed seeing all the posts my friends made about what they were doing with their moms, and I was a bit jealous at the same time. You see, I haven’t been able to spend Mother’s Day with my mom in more than 20 years. For those of you who still have your moms with you, don’t wait until Mother’s Day to let her know how much she means to you. Tell her daily; she won’t always be there.
The Song of the Week is all about moms and what a blessing they are from God. Whether your mom is still here on earth or not, think about her while you listen. Dredge up some old memories from when you were a child. It’s okay to laugh and/or cry. I know I will do both.

You have to follow the link for this song as I wasn't able to embed it, but it's well worth it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEXLr...

Song of the Week - Do You Not Know?

Have you ever noticed that by putting the words of Scripture to a tune they are much easier to memorize? I grew up memorizing verses: some stuck, some not so much. However, the ones I learned as a song have stayed with me throughout the years.
When I was in college, on Sunday nights we had what was called Celebration. This was just a time to get together and sing worship songs. Many, many of us would crowd into one room, most of us sitting on the floor. The couple that led us had simple guitars. Those evenings at Celebration were some of the most worshipful moments I have ever known.
This week’s Song of the Week is one I learned there. Whenever I hear it, or read Isaiah 40:27-31, the song stays with my for days and I catch myself humming it as I go through my daily routines. I hope it helps you focus on God this week.

Side note: I had trouble finding the song to share with you, but when I did I was pleasantly surprised. The couple that led our Sunday evening worship apparently also put the words to music. Here they are at a college chapel. I hope you enjoy!

Song of the Week - "Prayer for a Friend"

I often hear a lot of people complain about Facebook (or Fakebook) and the posts that are made. People do probably spend too much time there and on other social media. However, I use Facebook as a reminder to pray. Today when I logged in, the first seven out of eight posts were prayer requests. There were deaths in families, sick children, and friends going through difficult times. I stopped and prayed for each one.
As you listen to the song this week be reminded of your friends and family that may post a false picture of what their life is really like. Most people only post what they want others to see, giving the impression that life is perfect when it’s anything but. Listen to the voice of God. If He puts a name on your heart, stop and pray, especially if it’s a name you haven’t recalled in quite some time. Also, know that I am praying for YOU and all the unspoken requests that are never voiced. We ALL have those.
Scroll through your social media feeds this week and take time to pray. 

The Fridge Fiasco

Photo by patpitchayaHave you ever heard the phrase “opposites attract”? Sure, we all have. Have you ever given it much thought or compared it to your own relationship.

When my husband and I got married our marriage vows included the phrase “Do you promise to love, honor and cherish and cling unto him till death do you part?” I have to be completely honest; sometimes I want to cling to my husband with my hands right around his throat! Sometimes my husband and I both wonder how we ever got ourselves together in the first place. We have very little in common and we don’t like to do the same things. I have learned over the years, however, to not worry about the issues that aren’t important to me. For example, which vehicle we drive to church is not a huge deal in spite of the fact that I would rather drive the van simply because it is more comfortable for the entire family. Instead of arguing about something stupid, I agree to take the truck. But the bigger issues, like how many “emergencies” need to go on the credit cards, are definitely going to be discussed.

We may be opposites, but that only helps us react differently to different situations. For instance, some days my husband can tell, when he comes home from work, that I no longer want to be a mom. He takes the kids and occupies them so that I may have a few moments to recover. The opposite is also true. The days I can tell just by the tone of his voice that he is frustrated with the world, are the days I make sure everything is done just the way he likes before he even walks in the front door and I also make sure the kids don’t add to his frustrations. Just about the time either one of us is angry beyond all that we can handle, the other automatically steps up and takes charge and begins to make progress where the other has lost control of the situation completely.

We had an episode that I like to call our “fridge fiasco.” We had bought a brand new refrigerator along with an extended warranty because it was the first brand new appliance we had ever bought and we figured that with three kids getting in and out of it regularly, it was a good investment. It turns out it was only a good investment in gray hair! After only about six months, our refrigerator began to fall apart. The drawers broke and the supports that held the drawers broke.

I called the store where we had bought the fridge to see if they carried the parts we needed.

“No, ma’am, you need to call the factory.”

So I did. The costs were astronomical, I thought.

Next, I called the people with whom we had bought the extended warranty. They told me it wasn’t their responsibility; it was the store’s. So, I called the store back. They gave the number for the manufacturer. The manufacturer sent me back to the people with the extended warranty and they told me I had to call... I’m sure you get the picture. This went on for three days. No one wanted to take responsibility for our stupid refrigerator! I was so angry for constantly getting the run around.

When my husband came home from work the third day, I filled him in on all that I had been through. My heart was pounding and my pulse was racing I was so furious. I even had to say a quick prayer for forgiveness one time after hanging up the phone. I was not at all nice. In fact, I had become the person that customer service represen-tative’s hate! They knew me by the sound of my voice. They would not ask for all my information, they just asked, “Is this Mrs. O’Neil?”

Anyway, do you ever feel like your spouse is not listening to you and that they really couldn’t care less what you’re talking about. I told my husband some of the things these people had said to me. I hoped he would get angry that someone had dared disrespect his wife. His exact response was, “Did you do your hair today? It looks kind of funny.” Somehow, and I’m not exactly sure how, but the phone flew out of my hand right toward my husband.

This whole fridge fiasco had given me high blood pressure and all he cared about was that I looked good when he came home from work! Apparently, having a fridge we could actually use wasn’t as important to him as it was to me.

I wanted him to be mad about the situation, but he wasn’t. He was calm. He was cool. And he was collected. That evening he called all the same people I had been calling for the last three days, only he was nice. He got results.

My hot headed self wants just results, whereas my husband at times could care less, especially if he has to put up with a hassle. He would not have put up with everything I did; he would have just bought another refrigerator. Sometimes I need my husband to be calm and take control of the situation.

This is often the case in so many marriages. Where one of us is weak, the other is strong and vice versa. People who are opposites often compliment each other. The one, who isn’t good with money, needs someone who is. My sister-in-law likes to bake, but not cook. It works because my brother likes to cook and not bake. We do need each other even though we don’t always think so.

So, next time your spouse makes you angry because they don’t think like you do, look at it as a blessing. Living happily ever after only happens in fairy tales. We all have opinions and sometimes they are not the same. There are also no promises of matches made in heaven. Marriage is a job and some days it is hard. Some days you may not want to do the work anymore. Some days you may not feel as if the payment you are receiving is worth all the effort. But it is and you will be rewarded with a better relationship with your spouse if you stick together and let your differences make a difference. Be thankful for the things you don’t have in common. And if you want your marriage to last forever, don’t buy the extended warranty on any appliance!

Song of the Week - "This is the Stuff"

This week's song is fun to sing along to, it seems to sound a lot like my life and probably yours as well. It also has a great message to it. So often we get caught up in the here and now and the little idiosyncrasies that seem to take center stage. However, most of the time these things are not important. 
We need to remember that in spite of all the little things that may be interrupting our days, we should be mindful of the blessings God has given. Sometimes those blessings may be hard to see, until you awaken your mind to them. 
I have a little blank book that someone gave me years ago. I decided to call it my Blessings Book. In that book I write down all the little ways in which God has blessed me. This helps me to never forget. 
So while you listen to the song this week, don't get caught up in the fact that you lost your keys (or someone lost them for you) or that your toilet is overflowing because someone thought it was a good idea to stick a squirt gun down there. Get caught up in the blessings God gives. 

Song of the Week - "I Will Be Here"

The song of the week this week really doesn't have a lot of spiritual value to it, however, it is a special song to me. Today is a very special day. 
On this day in 1986, a handsome boy passed me a note in church asking if I wanted to go out with him. I still have that note.
On this day in 1991, that handsome boy and I said our forever vows. 
Today we celebrate 24 years of marriage. Marriage isn't always easy, but the one thing I hope we've accomplished through it all is a good example of what marriage should be for our children to see. 
This song takes me back to our wedding day as it was sung in our ceremony. Come reminisce with me for just a few minutes and help me celebrate what a wonderful thing marriage can be.