Ruth O'Neil's Blog, page 31
December 11, 2010
"Christmas At Martha's House"
In honor of Christmas I wanted to post a story that my mom wrote. She labeled it as fiction, but there are A LOT of events in this story that really happened. It is rather long so I will post half of the story this week and the other half next week. Enjoy!
Christmas at Martha's House
by Jeri Doner
Call me Martha. Better yet, don't call me at all until at least the middle of January. I thought I had all the preparations for Christmas under control, until the meeting that Sunday after church.
Five Sundays before Christmas: Claire, the Sunday school secretary, says, "We're doing a play this year and I apologize for not getting together before now." It seems the Sunday School Superintendent put her in charge and gave her a copy of the play he had chosen. It took her three weeks to convince him that it just wasn't right for us, and to come up with another script. I'm surprised she convinced him at all. But now we'll have to work extra hard to get it ready, if we think we can, if we aren't too wrapped up in our own little interests, if we really have enough faith that the Lord will enable us. And my kids think their generation invented peer pressure!
Our friend Ron says he'll build the scenery. I never even knew he could do that. Bonnie will play the piano, as usual. The boys would rather stay home and watch football. I inform my fourteen-year-old son, "If the rest of the family can get involved, Tom, you're going to do the same. It's not going to hurt you one bit."
My husband and two girls are asked to sing. How nice! Oh, great! They'll all need decent clothes. Maybe Karen can wear her outfit from school chorus, and Karen's red velvet from last year should fit Cindy if I can hem it up and locate the belt.
At the first rehearsal I offer to be in charge of costumes, partly because I love to sew and partly so everyone will understand that I am NOT singing. Suddenly everyone in the cast seems more interested in the whole project. The Superintendent told me I have to dress, "Mary, Joseph, three Wise Men, three shepherds, and an angel."
"Who's the angel?" I ask. Then he tells me. "She's some angel!" I accidentally let slip out of my mouth. Maybe she can get by with a choir robe and some tinsel in her hair. One down, eight to go.
Mary, played by Claire's favorite niece, comes to me and says how she would like her outfit to look. I really appreciate her enthusiasm and willingness to help. "I want a simple blue gown and white veil," she says. Mary always wears something like that. I wonder what would happen if some year she showed up in brown and orange?
Monday: "If I'm going to do this, Lord, I'm going to give it my best effort. You deserve nothing less. Maybe it's not important to anyone else, but it's for You." I glance through a book on historical costumes, and begin envisioning the three Wise Men. We don't know how many there really were, of course, but I'm glad we decided to stick with tradition on this point. I couldn't handle any more unruly teenage boys. They have become the Three Wise Guys.
I refuse to throw bathrobes on those boys and call them costumes. One will be a Mede. He can wear the long white gown I made out of old drapes for Trick or Treat. With the addition of a colorful yoke, a sword sash borrowed from a Civil War uniform, and a cardboard crown, he'll be fine.
The next will be an Indian or African looking person. He'll have a red and green floral tunic and matching turban. I'll ignore the cracks about Aunt Jemima. Maybe we can borrow Mr. Halsey's oriental kimono for the third. It is a bathrobe, but at least it's not chenille.
Tuesday: The mother of one of the shepherds telephones to say, "I have a costume for him that my older son once used in a school play." I thank her, thinking it probably looks like a bathrobe, but how do I say no without being rude? I quickly make some rather respectable looking costumes for the other two out of old sheets. No one uses white sheets on their beds anymore. I wonder what the next generation of shepherds will wear. Details like a rawhide shoelace for the front of the tunic and a rope from a plant hanger to secure head covering add a lot. The plant died anyway.
Joseph's outfit is similar, though larger. He has a brown thing over top that a Mexican would call a serape. I'm not sure what a Hebrew would call it, and I don't have time to look it up. When people know you sew they give you all sorts of fabric you can't use. This is one chance to get rid of some of it. I wonder how we can hide Joseph's blond curls.
Mary's gown goes together easily. She can hem it herself. Her veil looks pretty good. It's a strip of linen from an old tablecloth that had been chewed by mice. I might as well use it for something.
Halfway through my sewing, Tom's teacher calls with a request and I agree, "Yes, I'd be happy to make popcorn balls for the high school class party."
Four Sundays before Christmas: Today I learn I am responsible for props as well as costumes. No problem! Some boxes wrapped in gold foil will look a little like gold bars if I can find the tape to wrap them. I'll see if I have a fancy bottle of bubble bath. It can pass for frankincense. Maybe we can get an alabaster jewelry box and pretend it's full of myrrh. I hope those smart alec boys are careful with other people's breakables.
Monday: Now for the hard part. I have to convince my five-year-old daughter Cindy, that her favorite doll, Baby Wanna, is needed to play Baby Jesus. She isn't enthusiastic.
Tuesday: Karen's room mother calls and of course I can't say no. "Yes, I can provide cutout cookies for the fifth grade class party." I must be out of my mind. "Please, Lord, don't let anything else come up."
...Continued next week.
Christmas at Martha's House
by Jeri Doner
Call me Martha. Better yet, don't call me at all until at least the middle of January. I thought I had all the preparations for Christmas under control, until the meeting that Sunday after church.
Five Sundays before Christmas: Claire, the Sunday school secretary, says, "We're doing a play this year and I apologize for not getting together before now." It seems the Sunday School Superintendent put her in charge and gave her a copy of the play he had chosen. It took her three weeks to convince him that it just wasn't right for us, and to come up with another script. I'm surprised she convinced him at all. But now we'll have to work extra hard to get it ready, if we think we can, if we aren't too wrapped up in our own little interests, if we really have enough faith that the Lord will enable us. And my kids think their generation invented peer pressure!
Our friend Ron says he'll build the scenery. I never even knew he could do that. Bonnie will play the piano, as usual. The boys would rather stay home and watch football. I inform my fourteen-year-old son, "If the rest of the family can get involved, Tom, you're going to do the same. It's not going to hurt you one bit."
My husband and two girls are asked to sing. How nice! Oh, great! They'll all need decent clothes. Maybe Karen can wear her outfit from school chorus, and Karen's red velvet from last year should fit Cindy if I can hem it up and locate the belt.
At the first rehearsal I offer to be in charge of costumes, partly because I love to sew and partly so everyone will understand that I am NOT singing. Suddenly everyone in the cast seems more interested in the whole project. The Superintendent told me I have to dress, "Mary, Joseph, three Wise Men, three shepherds, and an angel."
"Who's the angel?" I ask. Then he tells me. "She's some angel!" I accidentally let slip out of my mouth. Maybe she can get by with a choir robe and some tinsel in her hair. One down, eight to go.
Mary, played by Claire's favorite niece, comes to me and says how she would like her outfit to look. I really appreciate her enthusiasm and willingness to help. "I want a simple blue gown and white veil," she says. Mary always wears something like that. I wonder what would happen if some year she showed up in brown and orange?
Monday: "If I'm going to do this, Lord, I'm going to give it my best effort. You deserve nothing less. Maybe it's not important to anyone else, but it's for You." I glance through a book on historical costumes, and begin envisioning the three Wise Men. We don't know how many there really were, of course, but I'm glad we decided to stick with tradition on this point. I couldn't handle any more unruly teenage boys. They have become the Three Wise Guys.
I refuse to throw bathrobes on those boys and call them costumes. One will be a Mede. He can wear the long white gown I made out of old drapes for Trick or Treat. With the addition of a colorful yoke, a sword sash borrowed from a Civil War uniform, and a cardboard crown, he'll be fine.
The next will be an Indian or African looking person. He'll have a red and green floral tunic and matching turban. I'll ignore the cracks about Aunt Jemima. Maybe we can borrow Mr. Halsey's oriental kimono for the third. It is a bathrobe, but at least it's not chenille.
Tuesday: The mother of one of the shepherds telephones to say, "I have a costume for him that my older son once used in a school play." I thank her, thinking it probably looks like a bathrobe, but how do I say no without being rude? I quickly make some rather respectable looking costumes for the other two out of old sheets. No one uses white sheets on their beds anymore. I wonder what the next generation of shepherds will wear. Details like a rawhide shoelace for the front of the tunic and a rope from a plant hanger to secure head covering add a lot. The plant died anyway.
Joseph's outfit is similar, though larger. He has a brown thing over top that a Mexican would call a serape. I'm not sure what a Hebrew would call it, and I don't have time to look it up. When people know you sew they give you all sorts of fabric you can't use. This is one chance to get rid of some of it. I wonder how we can hide Joseph's blond curls.
Mary's gown goes together easily. She can hem it herself. Her veil looks pretty good. It's a strip of linen from an old tablecloth that had been chewed by mice. I might as well use it for something.
Halfway through my sewing, Tom's teacher calls with a request and I agree, "Yes, I'd be happy to make popcorn balls for the high school class party."
Four Sundays before Christmas: Today I learn I am responsible for props as well as costumes. No problem! Some boxes wrapped in gold foil will look a little like gold bars if I can find the tape to wrap them. I'll see if I have a fancy bottle of bubble bath. It can pass for frankincense. Maybe we can get an alabaster jewelry box and pretend it's full of myrrh. I hope those smart alec boys are careful with other people's breakables.
Monday: Now for the hard part. I have to convince my five-year-old daughter Cindy, that her favorite doll, Baby Wanna, is needed to play Baby Jesus. She isn't enthusiastic.
Tuesday: Karen's room mother calls and of course I can't say no. "Yes, I can provide cutout cookies for the fifth grade class party." I must be out of my mind. "Please, Lord, don't let anything else come up."
...Continued next week.
October 16, 2010
The Haunted House
Yes, I know, it's been a while since my last entry. My life has been interrupted by...well, life.
Not that I am necessarily a big promoter of Halloween, but I thought this next entry would be appropriate for this time of year.
It is said that the experiences we have in our lives shape the people we become. I do not like scary things, especially movies! I bought a Christian scary movie once to watch with my husband one night. Afterward, I wouldn't even go to the bathroom by myself. Pathetic, I know. However, I do think I know the cause of my issues with all things scary: my brother.
There was always a Haunted House at the New York State Fair. My brother went through that haunted house so many times he knew the path like the back of his hand. Well, one year I thought I was old enough to follow my big brother through. Mom and Dad waited outside for us.
I was so excited at first and felt that I was now all grown up and ready to handle scary things. Then I looked up and noticed my brother was gone.
"That's okay." I thought to myself. "I can do this."
Well, I couldn't do it. I got stuck in one dark room and didn't know where to go next. I couldn't find the exit. Then, as if matters weren't bad enough, Dracula opened the lid of his coffin where an eerie light glowed. Add to the ambiance his loud "Wahahahaha!" and I was about to pee my pants.
Dracula lifted the lid of his coffin two more times, although no one new had entered the room. On the third time Dracula sat up, stopped before the "Wahaha," and looked right at me. He was probably thinking, (keep in mind, I'm using a little poetic license here) "This is still the same kid and she looks petrified."
Dracula then got out of his coffin, walked over to me, and smiled. I don't know if that smile made matters better or worse. Then Dracula took my hand and led me the rest of the way through the haunted house, out into the bright sunshine where my parents were waiting and my brother was smirking.
That, People, is why I do not enjoy scary movies or haunted houses. I do, however, have a warm place in my heart for Dracula.
Not that I am necessarily a big promoter of Halloween, but I thought this next entry would be appropriate for this time of year.
It is said that the experiences we have in our lives shape the people we become. I do not like scary things, especially movies! I bought a Christian scary movie once to watch with my husband one night. Afterward, I wouldn't even go to the bathroom by myself. Pathetic, I know. However, I do think I know the cause of my issues with all things scary: my brother.
There was always a Haunted House at the New York State Fair. My brother went through that haunted house so many times he knew the path like the back of his hand. Well, one year I thought I was old enough to follow my big brother through. Mom and Dad waited outside for us.
I was so excited at first and felt that I was now all grown up and ready to handle scary things. Then I looked up and noticed my brother was gone.
"That's okay." I thought to myself. "I can do this."
Well, I couldn't do it. I got stuck in one dark room and didn't know where to go next. I couldn't find the exit. Then, as if matters weren't bad enough, Dracula opened the lid of his coffin where an eerie light glowed. Add to the ambiance his loud "Wahahahaha!" and I was about to pee my pants.
Dracula lifted the lid of his coffin two more times, although no one new had entered the room. On the third time Dracula sat up, stopped before the "Wahaha," and looked right at me. He was probably thinking, (keep in mind, I'm using a little poetic license here) "This is still the same kid and she looks petrified."
Dracula then got out of his coffin, walked over to me, and smiled. I don't know if that smile made matters better or worse. Then Dracula took my hand and led me the rest of the way through the haunted house, out into the bright sunshine where my parents were waiting and my brother was smirking.
That, People, is why I do not enjoy scary movies or haunted houses. I do, however, have a warm place in my heart for Dracula.
July 5, 2010
Summer is definitely upon us! While I thought things woul...
Summer is definitely upon us! While I thought things would slow down a little bit since we don't have school over the summer, I was sadly mistaken. I keep telling myself, "It will slow down after next week's events." However, the following week has events of its own.
It makes me long for the relaxed days of my childhood summers. Us kids would spend all of our hours riding bikes, swimming at the pool, and playing badminton. These are all things I still very much enjoy doing – although I get a ...
It makes me long for the relaxed days of my childhood summers. Us kids would spend all of our hours riding bikes, swimming at the pool, and playing badminton. These are all things I still very much enjoy doing – although I get a ...
May 28, 2010
The Fridge Fiasco
Have you ever heard the phrase "opposites attract?" Sure, we all have. Have you ever given it much thought or compared it to your own relationship? Sometimes my husband and I both wonder how we ever got ourselves together in the first place. We may be opposites, but that only helps us react differently to different situations.
We had an episode that I like to call our "fridge fiasco." We had bought a brand new refrigerator along with an extended warranty because it was the first brand new app...
We had an episode that I like to call our "fridge fiasco." We had bought a brand new refrigerator along with an extended warranty because it was the first brand new app...
April 1, 2010
It's been several weeks since my last entry. It's been cr...
It's been several weeks since my last entry. It's been crazy around here! There are some days when life is threatening to run me over. There are some days I think it has. It makes me long for the days of childhood when there wasn't a care in the world more than what mom was fixing for dinner that night.
My family lived way out in the country. There were not a lot of people around and us kids were forced to entertain ourselves. I would often spend my days playing in the woods with my imaginary ...
My family lived way out in the country. There were not a lot of people around and us kids were forced to entertain ourselves. I would often spend my days playing in the woods with my imaginary ...
February 24, 2010
9-1-1
Do you ever wonder if the police are on top of things? Have you ever been tempted to call 9-1-1 just to see what would happen?
Well, I actually did it one time, although it was an accident.
My sisters are my best friends and I like to talk to them as much as I can, especially since we live in different states. One day I tried to give one of them a call. I pressed in her area code, which should have been 9-1-9.
Unfortunately, our phone was on its way out and the 1 button would almost always stic...
Well, I actually did it one time, although it was an accident.
My sisters are my best friends and I like to talk to them as much as I can, especially since we live in different states. One day I tried to give one of them a call. I pressed in her area code, which should have been 9-1-9.
Unfortunately, our phone was on its way out and the 1 button would almost always stic...
February 6, 2010
Conversations With Kids - Part 1
You can have the most amazing conversations with your kids. Sometimes those conversations make you proud because of their attitude or show you that they are thinking about something very deeply. They can make you laugh hysterically till you are about to pee your pants. They can laugh at you until you hope they pee their own pants. That is the way most of the conversations in the sit-com I call life, happen around our house.
In the middle of a spelling test one day, my son randomly asked if I ...
In the middle of a spelling test one day, my son randomly asked if I ...
January 29, 2010
Big Mouths
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you mumbled to yourself, "Me and my big mouth!" I know I have more often than I really care to admit. One time was when a couple of friends and I were printing our first book. It was a devotional and as it was coming together, we couldn't help but hold it and flip the pages. It had been a lot of work and it was so cool to see it come to fruition.
The other two ladies I worked with had done some speaking before and up until this point I had not....
The other two ladies I worked with had done some speaking before and up until this point I had not....
January 26, 2010
Falling Trees
Every summer the cuzzy-wuzzies come to visit. (That's my nephew's term for the cousins.) We always enjoy the week together and it has become tradition that we go camping for a couple of nights during that week.
We always have some sort of excitement of these camping trips. One time my nephew got burned in the face by a lantern. One time my niece made a "fishing pole" with a string and a clothespin she found lying around and caught a copperhead! Another time my daughter and two of her friends ...
We always have some sort of excitement of these camping trips. One time my nephew got burned in the face by a lantern. One time my niece made a "fishing pole" with a string and a clothespin she found lying around and caught a copperhead! Another time my daughter and two of her friends ...
January 18, 2010
I should probably put a disclaimer in here – I do write a...
I should probably put a disclaimer in here – I do write about real life. If you happen to find yourself in some of my blog posts (don't worry, I won't mention any names) that just means you've been a memorable (and probably humorous) part of my life. You should feel blessed.
I'm borrowing a statement one lady once said to me, "If I become famous and anyone asks me if my house was clean, you tell them it was lived in." That is probably a pretty fair assessment of my own house. It isn't perfect,...
I'm borrowing a statement one lady once said to me, "If I become famous and anyone asks me if my house was clean, you tell them it was lived in." That is probably a pretty fair assessment of my own house. It isn't perfect,...
