Scott Murray's Blog, page 186
March 10, 2015
Real Madrid v Schalke: Champions League – as it happened
9.36pm GMT
The holders are through. But you wouldn’t know it from the reception they’re getting from their own fans. The bird is the word. Schalke’s meanwhile are defiant and proud, despite the ultimate futility of it all. Their brave, exciting, marvellous side came so close to the most spectacular comeback in European Cup history. So close, but so far. Still, they can strut home with their heads held high, and once the pain subsides, can - no, will - look back with pride at one of the great European performances: the evening Schalke nearly closed down the BBC.
9.35pm GMT
90 min: +3: ... Casillas snaffles a dismal Fuchs up and under. Neustader is then booked for clattering Pepe in the centre circle. This is all over, despite a most heroic effort from this superlative Schalke team.
9.34pm GMT
90 min: +2: Neustadter lumps it down the middle. With Uchida romping into the area down the right, Marcelo is forced to head behind for a corner! From which...
9.33pm GMT
90 min: +1: There will be three added minutes. Real manage to keep hold of possession for the entirety of the first. That’s the only time they’ve managed that all evening!
9.32pm GMT
90 min: Meyer with a couple of crosses down the left. Neither can find Sane in the middle. Then a long ball down the middle. Huntelaar rises above Pepe and nods down for Howedes, who is free to the left of the D! He shoots, but Casillas saves. How Schalke must wish it was Howedes heading down for Huntelaar!
9.30pm GMT
89 min: Bale helps the clock along with a skedaddle down the right. He earns nothing more than a throw, but that’s not really the point. Real Madrid are 60 seconds closer to survival. That it’s come to talking about survival for Real Madrid! Schalke have been magnificent.
9.29pm GMT
88 min: Bale attempts to slip Ronaldo free down the middle. Nearly, but Nastasic intercepts. Remember Cristiano Ronaldo, anyone?
9.29pm GMT
86 min: It’s safe to say the Bernabeu is stunned. And collectively feeling very nervous indeed. Then the astonishing young Sane, 30 yards out, cuts in from the right and pearls a curler towards the bottom left! It’s heading in, but the much-maligned Casillas punches it clear at full stretch. This is astonishing!
9.27pm GMT
Oh Luka! He toes the ball back towards Casillas’s box as Sane bustles near the centre circle. And suddenly Huntelaar is clear on goal! And he makes no mistake, banging an unstoppable effort towards the top right, off the underside of the bar, and in! Schalke are a goal away from putting the European champions out! They’re threatening the most sensational comeback in European Cup history!
9.25pm GMT
83 min: Benzema slides the ball to the left for Isco, who diddles around awhile, then slips the ball to his right and sends a curler inches wide of the right-hand post. Wellenreuther wasn’t getting to that, despite extending himself fully.
9.24pm GMT
82 min: Having bigged up Arbeloa a couple of minutes ago, of course he gets the hook. Nacho comes on in his stead.
9.22pm GMT
81 min: One last change for Schalke. Uchida, nominally a defender but not shy in getting forward, comes on for Barnetta.
9.21pm GMT
79 min: Fuchs latches onto a loose ball down the left. He takes a couple of big-leggy strides, and lashes low and hard towards the bottom right from the left-hand corner of the box. He’ll not beat Casillas with that, despite the goalie’s dodgy form. Casillas smothers.
9.20pm GMT
77 min: Some lovely triangulation by Schalke down the right wing, Barnetta, Meyer and Sane all involved, some very fluid movement. Suddenly Sane is released into the area by a wily Meyer ball down the channel, but the young man declines a shot. Instead, he pulls the ball back for Goretzka, on the edge of the D. Goretzka does shoot, but unconvincingly so, straight at Casillas, weakly.
9.17pm GMT
75 min: Howedes momentarily turns into Franz Beckenbauer. Deep in his own half, he takes a stride down the inside right, then sprays a 50-yard diagonal pass towards Fuchs, who would break clear into the area were it not for the covering run of the consistently excellent and totally unsung Arbeloa.
9.15pm GMT
73 min: Bale, with little backlift, decides to shoot from a position 30 yards up the inside-right channel. His effort’s flying into the top right, but Wellenreuther parries with strong hands.
9.14pm GMT
72 min: Bale tears down the right at a preposterous velocity. His cross isn’t very good. Fuchs diddles down the Schalke left. His chipped cross doesn’t fool Varane, but that’s just as well as Sane was waiting to power a header home, six yards out. That’s as close as you’re getting to a lull right now. “If Schalke aren’t careful, they might start to make the Champions League look exciting and unpredictable,” sobs Simon McMahon. “Somebody tell them to stop it please.”
9.12pm GMT
70 min: Kroos has a bash from 25 yards. His rising shot is going in, but it’s straight at the keeper. Wellenreuther tips over the bar. From the corner, Bale plants a header high into the stand from the penalty spot. Here’s David Wall: “The longer this game goes on the more nervous Manchester United supporters must be getting, and the more zeros David De Gea’s agent must be adding to the draft contract he’s going to take into negotiations with the Old Trafford club. What has Keylor Navas done to end up on Real’s bench?”
9.10pm GMT
68 min: Taking down a looping right-wing cross, Isco discos past Barnetta to reach the byline to the left of the Schalke goal. He clips a ball into the six-yard area, but Howedes stays strong at the near post to block and clear. They’re not stopping, these lads! It’s been end-to-end stuff all night, though Real are probing with more purpose right now.
9.08pm GMT
66 min: This is like a match from 1957. Now it’s Arbeloa, of all people, sent clear into the Schalke box down the inside right, a clever pass down the channel from Bale doing the trick. Arbeloa’s attempt to dink the advancing Wellenreuther is OK, but not great. The keeper stays big, and the chip hits him on the shoulder. Schalke survive, though of course they still need two goals. Five at the Bernabeu. Which is a ridiculous target, really, but you try predicting this game!
9.06pm GMT
64 min: Ronaldo cuts in from the left. Stride, stride, shoulder drop, stride. On the edge of the D, he twirls and bobbles a shot towards the bottom left. Wellenreuther gathers. Schalke flood up the other end, and Meyer, down the right, has a dig from 20 yards out. That’s wide right, and Casillas had it covered, but not by much.
9.04pm GMT
62 min: Another corner for Schalke down the left. Barnetta takes it. Howedes, on the penalty spot, shanks a header - can you shank a header? - back out left to Barnetta, who despite facing a very tight angle decides to batter a shot goalwards. The ball twangs off Modric, at the near post, and flies across the face of the Real Madrid goal at 984mph. This is getting ridiculous now. And more of it, please!
9.02pm GMT
60 min: Benzema turns on the burners as he makes off down the inside-left channel. He very nearly slides Isco free into the box, but his precision pass is hooked clear by Howedes’s telescopic leg. Marvellous football all round. This is outstanding entertainment.
9.00pm GMT
58 min: Schalke swap Hoger for Goretzka. Real meanwhile make two changes, hooking Khedira and Coentrao and sending on Modric and Marcelo.
9.00pm GMT
Sane takes up possession down the right, taps the ball across the front of the Real area, and on the right-hand edge of the D, curls an unstoppable shot past a flat-footed Casillas and into the top left! A stunning strike from the European debutant, and this is getting very silly indeed!
8.58pm GMT
56 min: Barnetta zips down the right and shuttles the ball forward for Huntelaar, in the area. Pepe comes across to dink the ball out for a corner before the striker can shoot. The set piece is whistled under the bar, Casillas flapping it away. But Schalke are soon coming back at Real, down the right wing. And...
8.56pm GMT
55 min: Coentrao is booked for a fairly cynical tug on Barnetta, as the Schalke man looks to burst clear down the inside-right channel. He doesn’t bother with ostentatious complaining.
8.56pm GMT
Ah but this should settle them. Coentrao prods a pass down the inside-left into the Schalke area through three static blue shirts. Benzema picks up possession, and George Best versus Sheffield United style, sashays across the face of goal, to the right, to the right, to the right, dropping a shoulder, then battering home once Wellenreuther had committed himself. A lovely finish, and this tie is now over, though it should be noted that Benzema was a couple of inches offside when he received Coentrao’s pass. Still, not by much, and you have to give the benefit to the attacker.
8.53pm GMT
50 min: Another corner for Schalke, Barnetta and Fuchs causing a fair bit of bother down the left wing. Again the set piece is wasted, but Real Madrid are playing with fire here. They might have a two-goal lead, but a third Schalke goal will really get the nerves clattering. They’re not looking particularly steady as it is.
8.51pm GMT
49 min: This is better from the home side. Ronaldo cuts in from the left, and thinks about shooting. He lays off for Isco, who does. The ball’s deflected out to the left for a corner, which is claimed, sort of, by Wellenreuther. The keeper is fouled, and the pressure’s off. “I saw Terry Hurlock (31 min) play a few times when he was at Brentford,” recalls Ian Burch. “They weren’t a team of shrinking violets as Terry had Chris Kamara alongside him in midfield and Ron Harris playing behind him at the back. To Brentford’s credit though they did find room for Stan Bowles up front.” Times change, of course, but I wonder what Hurlock, Kamara and Harris would have said, had someone like current Bees owner and data analyst Matthew Benham told them their Key Performance Indicators weren’t up to scratch?
8.50pm GMT
48 min: Schalke appear to be continuing as they left off. A corner won down the left. It doesn’t clear the first man, and Bale should clear, but he miscontrols and allows four blue shirts to stream down the left wing. Luckily for the world’s most expensive player, Schalke confuse themselves. But Real have started this half slowly. They can’t afford to.
8.48pm GMT
And we’re off again! No changes, though Modric is warming up for Real. Within 60 seconds, Barnetta is having a pop from the right-hand corner of the Real area. It’s gathered by Casillas, but not with much confidence, a slight mishandle.
8.35pm GMT
BBC Interlude:
8.33pm GMT
And so a brilliant, breathless half of football comes to an end. Schalke are in a slightly better position than they were at kick off, in so much as two goals will now see them through on the away goals rule. But really, they deserve to be in front. They’ve been magnificent, but there’s simply no stopping Cristiano Ronaldo. ITV have got a decent match on their hands after all! The second half could be brilliant, it could be a damp squib. But there’s only one way to find out. No flipping.
8.32pm GMT
Real’s best form of defence is attack all right. Coentrao is in a little space down the right. He loops a fast cross into the middle. Ronaldo isn’t marked, and plants another header into the net, this time top right. So simple. Again. Schalke must wonder what they have to do.
8.30pm GMT
44 min: Real’s best form of defence, seeing they don’t really have one to speak of, is attack. First Benzema attempts to dribble clear down the inside-left channel, and very nearly makes it. Then Khedira cuts in from the right and curls one towards the top left. Wellenreuther sticks out a strong hand - take note, Iker Casillas - and Barnetta hacks the parry clear.
8.29pm GMT
42 min: Schalke are very much worth their lead. Another goal, and the European champions will be in danger of suffering one of the great comeback defeats! Fuchs wins a corner down the left. Barnetta twice flings dangerous looping balls into the Madrid box. Twice Varane heads clear. Real are rocking!
8.27pm GMT
And now. And now. Huntelaar, 30 yards out, batters a rising shot off the Real woodwork, right on the join of the right-hand upright and bar! Then, in the very next phase of attack, Schalke having quickly recycled the ball, Meyer smacks a shot straight at Casillas, striding into the area down the left. The keeper parries, but Huntelaar is first on the scene to whack the loose ball into the net. Once again, that had been coming. And once again, this is on!
8.24pm GMT
39 min: And now Varane’s backpass, down the Schalke right, puts Casillas in all sorts of bother! The keeper’s rushing out, but he’s beaten to the ball by Huntelaar, who sticks out a telescopic leg and pokes the ball goalwards. But it’s bouncing apologetically wide left of the unguarded net.
8.23pm GMT
38 min: Another goal for Schalke, of course, and it’s very much back on. Neustadter, in front of the centre circle, pitching wedges a delicious chip down the inside-left channel towards Huntelaar, who is in acres of space on the edge of the Real box. But he miscontrols, and the ball wheechs out of play for a goal kick.
8.22pm GMT
36 min: Benzema down the inside-left channel. He slides a ball across to Bale, his back to goal on the right-hand corner of the D. Bale turns and puck-slaps an effort towards the bottom left. Wellenreuther has it covered. Then another phase of attack, Benzema and Isco shuttling the ball down the inside-left channel, springing Ronaldo clear into the area. He drags a lame effort across the face of goal and out to the right. Goal kick. Another goal for Real Madrid now, and this is all over.
8.19pm GMT
34 min: Not much of an atmosphere in the Bernabeu right now. A second Schalke goal would electrify things a little, that’s for sure. But their play has lost a little zing since the equaliser, perhaps understandably so.
8.18pm GMT
32 min: Corner for Schalke down the right. Fuchs swings one in dangerously, but Varane heads clear. Barnetta takes up possession, 35 yards down the inside-right channel, and converts for three rugby points. That effort would make Mario Balotelli seem unambitious and shot-shy.
8.16pm GMT
31 min: Ronaldo is booked for a studs-up lunge on Hoger that would have shamed Terry Hurlock. He has the good grace not to complain too much.
8.15pm GMT
29 min: And it gets worse for Schalke. Choupo-Moting, who has been a handful during the first half-hour, has jiggered his foot. He’s limping off, and will be replaced by 19-year-old Leroy Sane, making his European debut. Hey, you’ve got to make your debut somewhere, so it may as well be at the very toppermost of the poppermost.
8.14pm GMT
27 min: Poor old Schalke. They were brilliant in those opening exchanges. But what a header by Ronaldo. Now this game has a new complexion. Bale bombs down the right and whips a cross into the middle. Wellenreuther, at his near post, claims well, some very assured handling. But the home team have the wind in their sails again.
8.11pm GMT
A corner for Real down the right. It’s whipped into the box, Ronaldo rises above Matip on the penalty spot, and plants a header into the top left! Real Madrid have started this game abysmally, but one moment of simple brilliance has suddenly put a stop to Schalke’s gallop!
8.10pm GMT
23 min: It’s all Schalke right now. Or, more accurately, all Meyer and Barnetta. They’re ripping Real Madrid apart down the right, again and again! A couple of phases of attack here, and Meyer has a dig from the right-hand corner of the D. The ball twangs off Khedira’s boot and up onto the Real midfielder’s arm. Schalke claim a penalty, but they’re never going to get that. Khedira’s arm was hanging out, but that all happened so quickly, and at such close range, that a spot kick was a pipe dream.
8.08pm GMT
This had been coming. And thoroughly deserved. Meyer picks up possession in the pocket. He slides the ball out right to Barnetta, who whips a cross into the area. Huntelaar and Choupo-Moting, near the penalty spot, let it through to Fuchs, who is free in the left-hand half of the box. He batters a shot towards the left-hand side of the goal Casillas’s hands flap back like saloon doors, and the ball nestles in the bottom-left corner. This tie is very much on, as a nervous Bernabeu attests!
8.04pm GMT
18 min: Meyer skitters down the inside-left channel, from the centre circle. He’s allowed to reach the edge of the box, whereupon he drags a fairly useless shot wide right of the goal. Casillas didn’t bother to move. But this is all Schalke. The BBC can’t get a touch right now. Perhaps Jeremy Clarkson has knitted some sort of voodoo doll.
8.01pm GMT
16 min: Now Huntelaar tries to bust into the box down the inside-right channel, but is knocked off balance (legally) by Varane, and drops to his knees in crumpled frustration. But this is a very bright start from the German side.
8.00pm GMT
14 min: Huntelaar dances in from the left, and should be robbed of the ball, but doesn’t take no for an answer. He one-twos with Choupo-Moting as he enters the area, but can’t get a shot away. For a split second, it looked as though Real had been ripped open. But they rallied just in time. These are worrying signs for the European champions, with Schalke firmly on the front foot.
7.58pm GMT
12 min: Neustadter edges down the right and whips a low ball into the box. Choupo-Moting, level with the right-hand post and 12 yards out, lays the ball back to Meyer, who is in acres of space in the pocket and batters a shot straight at Casillas. Great save, and another chance spurned, but it doesn’t matter so much, as Choupo-Moting is correctly flagged offside. Real Madrid are all over the shop at the back, though.
7.56pm GMT
10 min: What a chance spurned by Schalke! Meyer makes off down the left, reaches the byline, and pulls a ball back to the edge of the area for Choupo-Moting. Just to the left of the D, he’s got time to take a touch and shoot, but instead he opens his body up and attempts to guide a sidefooter into the top right. Ambitious. Too ambitious. It flies off miles to the right of goal, and high too. He cups his face with his hands, annoyed at his profligacy.
7.55pm GMT
9 min: Howedes heads straight up into the air. Seeing he’s on the edge of his own area, that’s not a great idea. Benzema takes up possession and slips the ball left to Isco, who is in space, just inside the box. Isco hesitates and has to settle for a corner, and the resulting set piece is no good either.
7.53pm GMT
8 min: Ronaldo flicks a ball wide right to Bale, whose cross is immediately cut out by Nastasic. The BBC’s horizontal hold has been on the blink so far.
7.52pm GMT
6 min: The first corner of the match goes to Real Madrid, Benzema winning it down the left, though with Schalke light in the centre he should have found a team-mate. And the set piece is a total waste of time. A nice open feel to the early exchanges of this match.
7.51pm GMT
4 min: More space for Hoger down the right. He sashays towards the corner flag and whips a low ball towards the near post, where Casillas gathers. Then another phase of Schalke attack, Fuchs looking to bust down the inside-left channel, only to be obstructed by Kroos. But no free kick. On the touchline, Roberto di Matteo improvises a contemporary dance piece called I’ve Got The Funk. It’s a high-energy piece.
7.49pm GMT
3 min: Isco is robbed by Hoger down the Schalke right. Hoger romps into space down the wing, and he’s got Choupo-Moting and Huntelaar in the middle, both screaming for a cross that’d have the one white shirt of Real Madrid in all sorts of trouble. But he shanks it straight into the arms of Casillas. Incredibly poor, but he did get the move going in the first place, so let’s not be too hard on him.
7.47pm GMT
And Schalke get the ball rolling! They surely need an early goal. They certainly have to score first, if they’re to have any chance whatsoever of a long-shot victory. And to this end, they lump it forward quickly. Choupo-Moting skitters along the curve of the Real D, left to right, but can’t get a shot away. He’s crowded out, but that’s a positive start by the visitors.
7.45pm GMT
The teams are out! Real Madrid all spruced up like meringues, the crispest and cleanest kit of all. Schalke’s isn’t half bad either, mind, their lovely plain blue shirts and S04 badge. It’s an aesthetic pleasure in the Bernabeu tonight.
7.35pm GMT
For all the pre-match talk of the BBC, fans of broadcasting rights will note that this game is the showpiece Champions League fixture on ITV this week. No English club in tonight’s section of the draw, you see. Liverpool, who were knocked out in the group stage by Basel, stars of the other match this evening, are to blame for this. Liverpool’s fans would give anything to be watching their side play tonight, of course. But the knowledge that the club have inadvertently annoyed a whole boardroom’s worth of television executives must surely act as some consolation.
7.21pm GMT
Both sides make three changes from their first-leg starting XIs. Real Madrid welcome Sami Khedira back from injury, and plonk Fabio Coentrao and Alvaro Arbeloa into the mix too. Marcelo, Dani Carvajal and Lucas Silva are the men to stand down. For the visitors, Max Meyer, Christian Fuchs and Tranquillo Barnetta step in for Dennis Aogo, Atsuto Uchida and the suspended Kevin-Prince Boateng. Both teams are desirous of taking their first step along the Road To Berlin (©
Automobile Association
Uefa). It’s on!
6.53pm GMT
Real Madrid: Casillas, Arbeloa, Varane, Pepe, Fabio Coentrao, Khedira, Kroos, Isco, Ronaldo, Benzema, Bale.
Subs: Navas, Marcelo, Hernandez, Nacho, Modric, Jese, Illarramendi.
Schalke 04: Wellenreuther, Howedes, Nastasic, Matip, Fuchs, Meyer, Neustadter, Hoger, Barnetta, Choupo-Moting, Huntelaar.
Subs: Wetklo, Goretzka, Sane, Uchida, Ayhan, Sobottka, Kehrer.
6.30pm GMT
Real Madrid. References to the BBC currently abound. Bale, Benzema and Cristiano, you see. Yes, it is a bit of a stretch, isn’t it. Not least because the level they’re functioning at right now is Border Television at best. In their last five league games, reports Straun McLeish, they’ve been spanked 4-0 by Atlético, held to a draw at home by Villarreal, and lost at Bilbao. Oops-a-daisy! There goes that lead at the top of La Liga!
Continue reading...
March 7, 2015
No end in sight for English team sports’ world-class stinkers | Scott Murray
Folk in Scotland, West Indies and several principalities along the Gulf are hereby permitted to band together, whip out tiny fiddles and strike up the world’s most sardonic lament. But the point still stands: it’s hard work supporting England at World Cups.
England are (apologies to New Zealand) the only one of cricket’s big old beasts never to have won the ICC’s most prestigious prize – hark, that lament’s just segued into a furious ceilidh – and that’s not likely to change any time soon. Within 24 hours of this paper hitting the newsstands, England will either be contemplating going home, having suffered their latest ignominious defeat to Bangladesh, or pondering what the world champions, India, are going to do with them at the SCG in the quarters. Which is worse?
Continue reading...March 4, 2015
Newcastle United v Manchester United: Premier League – as it happened
Manchester United left it late, but Ashley Young capitalised on Tim Krul’s late howler to seal the win for Louis van Gaal’s team.
9.37pm GMT
Abeid has a wild whack from 25 yards in a futile attempt to make up for that awful late comedy of errors. But that’s that! Manchester United were the better team, and deserved the win, though they made heavy weather of it and left it late. And fourth place is still very much theirs, the bid for a Champions League place still on track! Here, for a supposedly poor side, Manchester United are not half bad at winning games, are they?
9.34pm GMT
90 min +3: Obertan attempts to work something down the left, but runs the ball out of play.
9.34pm GMT
90 min +2: Newcastle can’t get anything going right now.
9.33pm GMT
90 min: There will be four added minutes. Newcastle try to hit back immediately, Cisse meeting a deep right-wing cross at the left stick, only to see his powerful header battered away by the ever-excellent De Gea!
9.32pm GMT
But no matter! Rooney bustles into the area down the right. It’s a dribble of determined briliance, but he eventually loses possession, Abeid prodding back to Krul at close range. And then the keeper has a terrible rush of blood! He slices a kick to the left, where Young is free to take a touch and slide home into the empty net! What a howler! But a very smart finish. A late Manchester United winner, huh? If so, it’s just like the old days!
9.30pm GMT
88 min: Rojo, who could easily have been walking not much more than 60 seconds ago, is replaced by Carrick. Manchester United are desperate for a goal, and Falcao’s left on the bench.
9.29pm GMT
87 min: Rojo, who has already been booked, hangs a leg out in front of Williamson, who is in the business of clearing upfield. That could so easily have been a second yellow card for the occasionally hot-headed defender.
9.27pm GMT
85 min: Perez dribbles with poise and power down the inside-right channel. He lays off to Obertan on his outside, in space. But Obertan’s stopped running! And there goes a chance to break into the Manchester United area. The home fans aren’t happy, and vocalise their feelings accordingly.
9.26pm GMT
84 min: Rooney is in the right-hand portion of the Newcastle box. He checks back and rolls a ball towards Rojo, racing in towards the D. Obertan gets there first to boot clear, just in time. Gouffran breaks up the left wing, and is upended by Valencia, who is booked. The right decision, as the home side fancied a quick counter there.
9.25pm GMT
83 min: No passes sticking right now. Both teams have given it plenty, even if the quality’s been a little lacking up front, and it’s beginning to tell.
9.24pm GMT
82 min: Newcastle replace Ameobi with Gouffran. Then Manchester United send on Mata, at the expense of Fellaini, who wanders off shaking his head in the irritated style.
9.23pm GMT
80 min: A free kick for Newcastle to the left of the centre circle. A diagonal one’s hoicked forward for Williamson, to the right of the D. He heads into the danger zone. Smalling and De Gea hesitate as it bounces around. Cisse isn’t on the front foot, though, and eventually the keeper gathers. The striker was snoozing there.
9.21pm GMT
79 min: Januzaj nearly strips Gutierrez down the right again, but he’s robbed by an excellent tackle, a last-ditch telescopic leg hooking the ball away before the young Manchester United star can break into the area. Then Young’s striding down the left, and his dangerous low curling cross is smothered by Krul, with red shirts hovering. The visitors really are cranking up the pressure.
9.19pm GMT
77 min: It’s attack versus defence right now. St James’ Park is tense and quiet. Newcastle are pinned back in their own area, but Manchester United can’t find a way through. They’re probing from all angles.
9.17pm GMT
75 min: Young makes off down the left and scoops a ball to the far post, where Rooney rises above Gutierrez and plants a fine header down towards the bottom-right corner. Krul is down like Gordon Banks to claw clear. Coloccini mops up. Wonderful effort. Rooney is very unlucky not to be on the scoresheet tonight.
9.16pm GMT
74 min: Manchester United have enjoyed nearly 70% possession in this match. Marie Meyer (3 mins) will be interested to know that the away fans are giving it plenty of attack-attack-attack again.
9.14pm GMT
73 min: A bit scrappy all of a sudden. Both sides probably need to grab a breather. They get one when Abeid has his standing leg accidentally clanked by Fellaini.
9.12pm GMT
70 min: This is magnificent entertainment. How it’s still 0-0 is anybody’s guess. Both teams are going flat out for a winner. So good luck calling who manages to find one.
9.11pm GMT
68 min: And now there’s a cacophony of boos, because Gutierrez is booked for a scythe on Januzaj, as the Manchester United man romps down the right. He can’t complain, really. Newcastle clear upfield. Herrera controls in the centre circle - and is then robbed by Perez. Newcastle are two on one! Perez slides the ball right for Cisse, who should at least trouble De Gea. He should score, really, but his scuffed effort from the edge of the area squirts wide left. Dear oh dear.
9.09pm GMT
66 min: Manchester United seem momentarily discombobulated by the warm waves of emotion pouring from the stands towards Gutierrez, whose every touch is cheered. A miskick nearly sends Perez clear into the box down the left, but Perez can’t control.
9.07pm GMT
65 min: The lid is lifted off St James’ Park, spine-tinglingly so, as Taylor is replaced by Jonas Gutierrez, 17 months and one successful cancer battle since his last appearance for the club. Marvellous, genuinely heart-warming scenes. He’s given the captain’s armband, a lovely touch by the Newcastle manager and all of his team-mates.
9.05pm GMT
63 min: Rooney looks to break down the left, but is again flagged offside, correctly this time.
9.05pm GMT
60 min: Rojo is booked for a fairly cynical block on Obertan. “Maybe it should be Louis Balfour that’s managing Man United, not Louis Van Gaal,” suggests Simon McMahon. “Nice.”
9.02pm GMT
58 min: Di Maria makes off down the right, then nearly floats a very clever effort over Krul and into the left-hand side of the goal. It’s wide, though. And it’s Di Maria’s final act of the evening. He’s hooked for Januzaj. The home side deliver some detailed economic analysis via the medium of song. Newcastle make a change too, swapping the ineffective Riviere with Perez. Oliver Lewis, of pre-game patter fame, will be a little happier now.
8.59pm GMT
57 min: Rooney puts the ball in the net, but he was miles offside as he was taking down Di Maria’s ball through the middle. Or was he?!? It looked a no-brainer of a decision, but Janmaat was strolling back upfield, and played him on! Even if there’s an inch or two in it, the attacker should have the benefit there. Manchester United can feel extremely aggrieved about that.
8.58pm GMT
54 min: Newcastle have just looked one gift horse in the mouth. Now Manchester United pass on two. Di Maria lifts the ball into the area from the right. Fellaini is clear! He chests down and batters his shot straight at Krul. Brilliant save, though the ball only squirts away to the left. Young has an open goal to slot into. But he has to take a touch to kill the wildly spinning, falling ball, allowing Krul to reset. And the keeper makes a brilliant close-range parry! Young did shoot straight at him, but still. Wow. The ball breaks to Rojo, just outside the D, but he shoots over. What an escape for Newcastle! Does anybody fancy scoring tonight? We could have had a few already, but here we are goalless.
8.54pm GMT
52 min: It’s scrappy, end-to-end stuff, with both teams looking dangerous as they storm through the middle of the pitch, before falling to bits in the final third. Di Maria, Sissoko and Rooney are all guilty of giving up possession just as things begin to look promising. “If people have trouble understanding why a side as poor as Manchester United can still be in fourth place,” begins Steven Hughes, “David de Gea is the ‘Spanish Key’ to one’s comprehension.”
8.52pm GMT
49 min: A long free kick hoicked into Manchester United’s box. Coloccini, level with the left-hand post and 12 yards out, heads diagonally towards Riviere at the right-hand post. He’s one on one with De Gea, a couple of yards out! He should poke home, but his attempt is weak, though that’s not to take anything away from De Gea’s save, clawed out of the air while sitting down by the right-hand post. Sheer brilliance from the Manchester United keeper. A couple of corners follow, but the significant action of the move is over.
8.49pm GMT
47 min: Manchester United are hogging the ball again, much as they did for the majority of the first half. They edge forward, and Rojo eventually tires of waiting. He’s 30 yards out, down the inside-left channel. He takes a touch forward, and a nudge inside, before unleashing a rising heatseeker towards the top right. A brilliant effort, and one that only just flies wide and high. Very close. Krul might have had that covered, but it wasn’t certain.
8.47pm GMT
And we’re off again! Manchester United get the ball rolling for the second half. “I think the shape of football to come is more like a Kind of Blue,” opines Justin ‘Cannonball’ Kavanagh. “Chelsea are miles ahead of this lot…and all that jazz.”
8.45pm GMT
Half-time spit-spat: So this mucky business on 39 minutes. Yep, they’ve both been at it. Evans and Cisse were tangling on the floor, kicking at each other like toddlers having their nappies changed. Upon rising, Evans (27) spat in Cisse’s direction, down towards the floor, but not so obviously that there won’t be serious questions of intent. No such ambiguity at the reaction of Cisse (29) however: he stands up, gets right in Evans’ grille, and fires a little one into his neck. Dear lord. Grown men, these two. Though to be fair, after it all calmed down, the pair seemed to realise the ridiculousness of it and make up. I doubt they’ll have heard the last of it, though the embarrassment of everyone knowing what they’ve done should be punishment enough.
8.33pm GMT
And that’s that for an eventful, if not particularly distinguished first half. Manchester United came the closest to scoring with Fellaini’s header, Newcastle should have had a penalty, and there’s a case for both Cisse and Evans to have been sent off for spitting at each other. All of which sets up a very promising second half, hopefully involving a goal or two. No flipping!
8.31pm GMT
45 min: And now it’s Newcastle’s turn to nearly break the deadlock! Sissoko strides down the middle of the park before stroking a perfectly weighted ball down the inside-right channel to release Riviere into the box, Rojo beaten by the perfection of the pass. Riviere should dink the ball over the advancing De Gea, but slips over instead. Oh me, oh my.
8.30pm GMT
44 min: Valencia makes off down the right and reaches the byline, dinking one over for Fellaini, who is free, 12 yards out! He powers a header back towards the top right, but Krul is equal to it, and the ball’s then hacked clear. Manchester United so close to taking the lead!
8.29pm GMT
43 min: So, spittlecam, then. Looks like both players aimed a little bit at each other. Nothing landed, and everyone’s calm, but no doubt this will be mentioned again. Grown men and all.
8.27pm GMT
40 min: Newcastle swing a free kick into the Manchester United box from the right, then a corner from the left. It’s rare territorial pressure from Newcastle, but Manchester United deal with it easily enough.
8.26pm GMT
39 min: Cisse and Evans clash in the centre circle, the pair fouling each other in quick succession. Cisse got in first, but somehow gets the free kick. For a second, the pair look like trading blows. But they’re calmed down soon enough - though replays suggest Cisse was claiming he’d been spat in the eye by Evans. All too quick for the naked eye, and even the replay isn’t conclusive. Who’d be a referee?
8.24pm GMT
38 min: Young, cutting back from a position high up the field on the left, whips a stunning cross just past the far post, where Di Maria keeps the ball alive by hooking it through the six-yard box. Nobody in red to trundle that home.
8.21pm GMT
35 min: Herrera, mooching forward after picking up a quickly tapped Blind free kick, slides the ball down the inside-right channel. It’s nowhere near Rooney. Krul launches long. Sissoko heads on. Cisse, his back to goal 25 yards out, flicks the ball up in the Le Tissieresque manner, spins, and ... well the shot’s not so Le Tissieresque. Francis Benali, maybe. Miles wide to the right.
8.19pm GMT
33 min: A more gentle atmosphere in the stadium right now. A result of Manchester United’s dominance, I’ll be bound. Newcastle aren’t doing anything in attack at all. A long hoick nearly finds Riviere down the inside-left channel, but not quite. That’s been pretty much it for the last 20 minutes or so.
8.18pm GMT
30 min: Coloccini, in the left-back position with nobody nearby, falls over, much in the way Bob Mortimer used to do on Vic Reeves’ Big Night Out. A gentle lowering to the floor. Eh? Anyway, this spectacular collapse allows Di Maria to scoot off with the ball. He slips it into the box for Rooney, who can’t quite control, even though he’s only got Krul to beat for a second or two. Eventually Taylor arrives to complicate the issue, and the keeper snaffles.
8.15pm GMT
29 min: Now Manchester United stroke it around the middle of the park a bit, just to show that two can play at that game.
8.14pm GMT
28 min: Newcastle take the sting out of the game by passing it around the back awhile. They needed that break. The pressure has been relentless of late.
8.12pm GMT
26 min: Manchester United should be leading. Di Maria sweeps a ball into the centre from the right. Young, on the edge of the D, cushions the ball forward with his foot, with a view to breaking through the Newcastle back line and into the area. It’s a brilliant touch, but Rooney, his back to goal, chests down and takes over, spinning, drawing Krul and - having done all the hard work, lifting a distinctly average lob over the keeper and well wide of the left-hand post. A lovely move, but one that ended in a miserable miss. Manchester United are playing very well here.
8.11pm GMT
25 min: It continues. Di Maria, on the right-hand corner of the box, floats a diagonal ball towards Fellaini, who can’t quite get his head to the ball.
8.09pm GMT
24 min: Di Maria dances down the right, cuts inside, then slides a pass further along for the undertaking Valencia, who dinks a ball inside from the byline. Coloccini steps up to blast a header clear. But the away side are doing all the pressing. They’re in total control right now.
8.08pm GMT
22 min: A corner for Manchester United down the right. Young takes, and Fellaini heads weakly at the far post. There’s still a raucous atmosphere at St James’ Park, which is credit to both sets of supporters, because for all the loose play in defence at both ends of the park, neither keeper has been forced into serious action yet.
8.07pm GMT
21 min: Young takes Sissoko’s elbow, pow, right in the kisser. Totally accidental, according to the referee. You’ve seen yellow cards given for those, Sissoko was waving his arms all over the shop. One decision apiece, then.
8.05pm GMT
19 min: Manchester United are beginning to pile on the pressure. They’ve been enjoying two-thirds of the possession. A long Blind ball down the middle, and Rooney very nearly breaks clear. Coloccini holds his ground and ensures the ball bounces through to Krul.
8.03pm GMT
17 min: Herrera slides a pass down the left for Young who, full of confidence at the moment, zips down the touchline. He reaches the byline and shapes to cross, but is robbed of the ball by Janmaat, tracking back brilliantly. Newcastle clear, but Young appears to be in the mood yet again.
8.01pm GMT
15 min: Rooney, working hard down the inside-left channel, lays off to Fellaini, whose snapshot from the edge of the area is blocked. Rooney takes up possession again, and feeds Rojo, who pulls the ball back for Herrera, 25 yards out in a central position. Herrara has a belt towards the top right, but it’s always curling wide of the post. Not by that much, mind, and were it on target, Krul, his feet planted, wasn’t getting to it. Much better from Manchester United.
7.58pm GMT
13 min: Those two Newcastle attacks have taken the early wind out of Manchester United’s sails. Rojo concedes possession cheaply down the Newcastle right, allowing the busy Obertan to race down the wing. His cross isn’t all that, deflected off Evans and into the arms of De Gea.
7.56pm GMT
10 min: Newcastle should have a penalty kick. Riviere, taking another pass from Obertan down the right, swishes past Blind in an instant and enters the box. He prods the ball past Smalling, who is coming across from the centre, and goes over his leg. Riviere was looking for it all right, but Smalling was clumsy enough to give him what he wanted. However the referee isn’t so generous. On the touchline, John Carver has the funk on. You can’t blame him. Manchester United have got away with one there.
7.55pm GMT
9 min: Fellaini gets enough stick for being nothing more than a beanpole. He’s better than that, and he embarks on a slalom down the inside-right channel. He nearly breaks clear into the area, but is eventually crowded out. Then another Newcastle counter, Obertan rolling a pass down the right for Riviere, who has Cisse free in the centre, but balloons a godawful cross into the stand behind the goal.
7.53pm GMT
7 min: Rooney rakes a pass wide right for Di Maria, whose cross is quickly closed down. That one Newcastle quick-break apart, this has been all Manchester United. But their smooth passing keeps falling apart in the final third.
7.51pm GMT
5 min: A strong start by Manchester United, who have had all of the possession so far. Rooney attempts to break into the area down the right. But he’s brushed off the ball, and Newcastle are soon streaming upfield, four on three. They’ve got options, but don’t work it particularly well, Sissoko sliding the ball left for Cisse, who wins a corner. But with a man over, they surely should have worked a shooting opportunity. The set piece comes to nothing.
7.48pm GMT
3 min: An early escape for Newcastle, that. And a hectic start. Valencia sprays a long ball down the right wing for Di Maria, who again can’t get past Taylor. “Have the away fans got their new ‘backpass backpass backpass’ exhortation ready to go?” wonders Marie Meyer, the one true heir to Jon Stewart’s satirical throne.
7.47pm GMT
And we’re off! Newcastle get the ball rolling. But they’re soon on the back foot, Abeid losing the ball to Herrera in the centre circle. Rooney slides the ball down the right channel for Di Maria, who is clear in the area! But he hesitates, allowing Taylor to get a toe to the ball before he can shoot. Why didn’t he shoot? He doesn’t even earn a corner. There’s the importance of confidence writ large, like a certain sports outfitter’s banner.
7.44pm GMT
The teams are out! We’ll be off in a minute. A rare old atmosphere at St James’ Park. No number of brazenly humongous Sports Direct advertisements can compromise this famous ground’s soul. The theme from Local Hero blazing out across the stadium.
7.05pm GMT
The shape of the teams to come: Newcastle make one change from the team that beat Aston Villa 1-0 on Saturday, with Ryan Taylor replacing the injured Massadio Haidara. Manchester United make a switch too, striker Radamel Falcao dropped in favour of Marouane Fellaini. Here’s a cheery reaction from Oliver Lewis: “It seems pretty bizarre to me that John Carver, desperate to impress to keep his job (I reckon it’s more likely than some claim, staying up is all that is cared about at board level) pulls out the one bright spark of the season in Perez and benches him in favour of a striker who has done absolutely nothing in Riviere. Obertan and Sammy will provide no service either to this ‘brave’ two up top move. It’s 2015 and our team contains Williamson, Ryan Taylor and Obertan still. How has it got to this?” It’s difficult to say, isn’t it. So many variables.
6.55pm GMT
Newcastle United, in their famous black and white: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan, Abeid, Sissoko, Ameobi, Cisse, Riviere.
Subs: Anita, Gouffran, Perez, Gutierrez, Armstrong, Satka, Woodman.
6.30pm GMT
Manchester United. They’re not very good. At least, this is what we keep hearing. Thing is, they’re third in the table, in the quarter finals of the FA Cup, and have won 14 of their last 21 games, losing only two of them. What’s Louis van Gaal doing? It can’t be all bad. This must be how people felt when listening to The Shape of Jazz to Come by Ornette Coleman for the first time back in 1959. The two horns aren’t playing the same song, the bass is out of sync, and the drums sound like Douglas Bader falling down the stairs while carrying two open canteens of cutlery. And yet after a few minutes, it all slowly starts to click together, making perfect sense. So there was method behind Ornette’s madness after all! And this is what’s happening with Manchester United, isn’t it? They’re an avant-garde, experimental collective, casting orthodoxy out of the window. The Shape of Football to Come.
Continue reading...The Fiver | Come on Tim!
Everyone likes to see a big club get relegated, it’s the best part of football. What would be more satisfying than watching, say, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur all slipping down the divisions in the next couple of seasons? Nothing, that’s what! (Though we’d need at least Nottingham Forest and Nasty Leeds to finally come back up, so The Fiver still has some people to project its barely concealed feelings of inadequacy on to.) So most people, it’s fair to assume, will be fervently hoping to see relegation-haunted Aston Villa drop down to the second division. Nothing against the midlands giants per se, but you can’t have Big Cup on your CV if you want people to prefer you over Burnley, that’s just the way things work. They’ve made their bed, and now they’re thrashing about in it, crying. We have empathy.
A ‘GUARDIAN YOUNG TEAM’ DO? YES, YOU SHOULD APOLOGISE FOR THE GLOBAL
Continue reading...March 3, 2015
Aston Villa 2-1 West Bromwich Albion– as it happened!
A Ben Foster howler deep in injury time gifts Aston Villa three desperately needed points in a tense, dramatic match.
9.38pm GMT
And that’s that! What a rush of blood by Foster, who has been dismal this evening! What a cool spot kick by Benteke! And what a result for Villa, who end their seven-game losing run in the league, to earn a crucial three points! They leapfrog QPR out of the relegation zone and into 17th place, three clear of the drop! What a game! One which, in fairness, Villa deserved to win on the chances they created - and so nearly converted - in the first half alone. A turning point for the Midlands giants? Perhaps. It’s certainly the first big result of the Tim Sherwood era, and the manager skitters about the pitch accordingly. Those stats are beginning to look much better already.
9.37pm GMT
Benteke slots Villa’s first spot kick of the season into the bottom right! Foster, who has had a nightmare, all told, and whose head is bleeding after being clattered by Lowton, goes the wrong way, needless to say.
9.36pm GMT
90 min +3: Foster is the hero, for a second, as he scrambles a superlative Delph shot, aimed for the bottom right, wide of goal. But there’s a second phase of Villa attack, the ball shipped in from the right, and Foster stupidly, clumsily mishandles a ball bouncing in the area. He should gather easily, but lets the ball break ahead of him. Lowton races into the area down the left, latches onto possession, and is upended by the hapless keeper!
9.34pm GMT
90 min +2: So this is the second of three added minutes. And most of it is used up by West Brom switching Morrison for Baird.
9.34pm GMT
90 min +1: ... blooters a useless effort wide right and high. An attempted curler into the far corner, that was.
9.33pm GMT
90 min: Fletcher’s pass down the right nearly opens Villa up. West Brom have to settle for a corner. And they nearly replicate their goal, but not quite. Villa go up the other end, Grealish nearly bringing down a deep right-wing cross to get a shot away, then battling to win a free kick just to the left of the area, Morrison clumsily bowling him over. This set piece is in a very dangerous position. Bacuna steps up, and ...
9.31pm GMT
88 min: Now Hutton clatters into Berahino. The striker gets up, and the pair go nose to nose. It’s threatening to get out of control, as Lescott arrives to point an accusatory finger, right in Hutton’s coupon. The pair are booked, which means Hutton has a two-game ban. That’s a bit rough on Berahino, really, because Hutton crumped his studs right into the young striker’s fruit bowl. That’s a red card all day long, really. But Hutton will still miss the FA Cup game between these sides at the weekend, plus Villa’s trip to Sunderland.
9.28pm GMT
86 min: Hutton is abruptly stopped in his tracks as he romps down the right. Gardner’s tackle is as obvious a booking as you’ll see all season. Perfect comic timing, as he slides in from off the screen and upends his man. Wheech!
9.27pm GMT
84 min: Berahino jigs with purpose down the left, and whips a high cross into the area, towards the far post. There’s nobody there. “Do any Villa fans have a worry that there might be a bit of the Alan Shearers about Sherwood’s appointment and potential for saving the club?” wonders David Wall. “He doesn’t have very much more of a track record, and I’m not sure how much can be read from his six months at a club packed with good players and where the previous manager’s dismissal was really just a symptom of impatience. The situation at Villa is very different and probably needs more than a bit of motivation for people who are under-performing.”
9.25pm GMT
82 min: Tim Sherwood’s last roll of the dice tonight: an unhappy looking Agbonlahor is removed, with Weimann, misfiring of late, taking the goalscorer’s place.
9.23pm GMT
81 min: Clark is booked for a Power Cuddle on Ideye, as the striker thinks about breaking down the left. All in the centre of the park, so the resulting free kick means nothing.
9.22pm GMT
79 min: Lowton, from wide on the left, curls a magnificent cross towards the far post. He’s not far from finding Benteke, but Brunt steps in to head clear, marvellously so. Then another phase of Villa attack, Lowton cutting in from the left wing and attempting a curler into the top-right corner. It’s blocked at source. West Brom are holding firm, as Villa crank it up a bit, looking for the three points they desperately require.
9.20pm GMT
77 min: Bacuna comes on for the increasingly anonymous Cleverley.
9.19pm GMT
76 min: A long rake down the West Brom right. Gardner nearly latches onto it, breaking into the Villa box, but hesitates and the chance is gone. A lot of tension in Villa Park. The home fans know just how valuable a win - and how devastating a loss - would be.
9.18pm GMT
74 min: It’s end to end nonsense, with moves falling apart 20 yards from goal. Nothing’s quite coming off. Fletcher attempts to block a Delph run, irritating the Villa man so much he rakes the back of the West Brom player’s legs with a wild kick. Not sure he connected, but if the referee had seen that, there could have been bother for Delph there. A sign of the increased panic Villa will be feeling, because this hasn’t been a dirty game at all.
9.15pm GMT
71 min: That West Brom break came after a period of Villa pressure, Lowton and Grealish trying their best to work an opening down the left. And now another chance for Villa, Hutton whipping a ball in from the right, Grealish meeting it on the volley with the side of his foot, 12 yards out. The effort’s straight at Foster, but was travelling at pace; a couple of feet either side, and the keeper wouldn’t have been able to gather easily.
9.12pm GMT
69 min: Berahino, to the left of the centre circle, sprays a pass wide right for Morrison, who is clear down the channel in Agbonlahor Country! But he doesn’t have Agbonlahor’s spring heels, and can’t scoot into the area like the Villa man did in the first half. He rolls a ball back across left for Ideye, but it’s just behind the striker. Villa escape. But only just. West Brom have their tails up now.
9.10pm GMT
68 min: Another of Tim Sherwood’s water bottles has just bitten the dust. He’s got the funk on.
9.09pm GMT
A long ball from the right, sent to the far post. Lescott rises and nods back into the six-yard area, where Berahino pings a header straight into the net from close range past a helpless Guzan! Villa could easily have had three or four in the first half, but suddenly they’re level!
9.08pm GMT
65 min: Morrison drops a shoulder and makes good down the right. A lovely low cross into the area. Clark slides in to concede a corner at the near post, with Berahino and Ideye just behind. Good defence. But from the corner ...
9.06pm GMT
63 min: It’s tense in the Villa Park stands. The BT producer doesn’t slide the pitchside mic down quickly enough, and a deliciously desperate, spittle-flecked “you effing cee” rings through all our speakers. No apology from the broadcaster, which is very much to their credit. We’re all adults here, and it’s after the watershed.
9.03pm GMT
61 min: Lescott stumbles into Benteke down the Villa right. A free kick in a dangerous position. Westwood’s set piece is hopeless, far too high and long. Lowton tries to salvage the move on the other wing, with the box loaded, but can’t quite manufacture a cross himself. Very poor.
9.02pm GMT
60 min: N’Zogbia feels the shepherd’s crook around his neck. Grealish is his replacement.
9.01pm GMT
59 min: Hutton tries to belt a volley home from 35 yards down the inside-right channel. You see how you’ve imagined it? Well, that.
9.00pm GMT
57 min: A loose ball bouncing down the West Brom inside-right channel. Berahino chests it on adroitly to release Ideye, but the flag goes up for offside. Signs that West Brom are beginning to wake up from their 47-minute slumber.
8.59pm GMT
56 min: The clumsy Okore clatters into Berahino as the pair contest a ball down the West Brom left. A chance for West Brom to load the box, and cause some rare bother. Brunt is over this one. And he whips a stunning ball into the box, allowing Dawson to meet with his head, level with the left-hand post, six yards out. He must surely score, but a dismal effort is high and wide left. What a chance. On the touchline, Tony Pulis has his head in his hands, and he might have said the c-word. At the very least, an eff.
8.57pm GMT
54 min: Dawson is in acres down the right, set free by a lovely crossfield ball from Yacob. His ball into the box isn’t any good, though, and with Ideye and Berahino in the middle, hoping to sidefoot one home, Lawton is able to dive across and block. A fine clearance.
8.56pm GMT
53 min: ... looks for the top right, but overcooks it. High and wide. Shame for Villa, because Foster was heading across in the other direction. The West Brom keeper’s performance isn’t quite in shocker territory, yet, but he certainly hasn’t been impressive this evening.
8.55pm GMT
52 min: Agbonlahor goes on a marvellous slalom down the inside-left channel. He panics Lescott into a rash tackle, stepping across the trickster in the hoodlum style, 25 yards from goal. That’s a clear free kick, and a clear booking. The referee makes both decisions accordingly. Westwood is over this. He steps up, and ...
8.53pm GMT
50 min: N’Zogbia embarks on a determined dribble down the right. He reaches the area, before over-elaborating, with team-mates screaming in the middle for a pass. “Keystone Cops piano music (33 min) DOES play in my head whenever the ball comes to Villa’s box,” admits Andy Brennan. “Shame as up till Christmas our defence was solid. But after nearly scoring 3 (THREE) times so far, the unofficial anthem from black ‘n’ white Villa days, Theme From An Unmade Silent Movie, replaces the Keystone Cops wonky piana.”
8.52pm GMT
48 min: Popular BT Sport analyst Michael Owen is currently running through teams who, like Villa, have been considered Too Good To Go Down, only to get relegated anyway. “Leeds, Nottingham Forest, Sheffield Wednesday.” No mention of Newcastle, which is odd. And yes, it has been a slow start to the half.
8.50pm GMT
The teams are back out. Villa kick off, heading towards the Holte End. There have been suggestions that Villa should have won a penalty when Agbonlahor saw his shot cleared off the line by Lescott (27 mins). This is because Foster clattered into the player after he got his shot away. Hmm. You’ve seen them given, certainly. “Watching Tim Sherwood react to play is like seeing a randomly frantic fitness instructor,” suggests Glenn Kuly. “It would be great to see Villa string some wins together, to give the man some serenity.”
8.41pm GMT
Half-time advertisements, courtesy of erstwhile local channel ATV, transmitted during an episode of Tiswas, I’ll be bound. Featuring scaled-down Steve Bruce lookalike Bernard Cribbins, and a public information film which even by the time-honoured standards of the format is needlessly jarring and scary. Also, just how many people were suffering severe facial injuries caused by folk carrying sheets of plate glass round corners, Laurel and Hardy style, in the early 1980s? Not so many that the government were required to commission a short film about it, surely.
8.33pm GMT
Just before the half-time whistle, Delph turns Dawson out on the Villa left, and unleashes a magical curler towards the bottom-right corner. It’s across Foster and appears to be heading in, but clatters off the base of the right-hand post, out and away! So unfortunate! And that’s that for the first half, in which Villa have scored a rare goal, hit the post, and had two efforts cleared off the line, one by half the width of a molecule. That’s the magic of Tim! But they’re only the one goal up. Will they live to regret their bad luck?
8.31pm GMT
44 min: Okore is a liability tonight. First he slices a clearance straight to Berahino down the Villa left, but gets away with it, the striker not quite able to control. Then he’s involved in a defensive shambles down the other flank, which sees Berahino flicks Ideye clear down the inside-right. He’s clear and heading towards the box, but the flag goes up for offside. He’s maybe a toenail’s width ahead of the last man. You’d normally expect the attacker to get the benefit of the doubt there.
8.29pm GMT
43 min: Jacob is booked for attempting to rugby tackle N’Zogbia from behind. A free kick, 30 yards out down the left. Villa load the box, pointlessly so, as the set piece is easily clanked clear by Lescott. For various reasons, this was a lot of intense fun for 30 minutes or so. Since then, it’s been poor fare.
8.27pm GMT
41 min: Cleverley strides down the right and curls a brilliant ball towards Benteke, on the penalty spot, having bounded in from the left. The striker should really plant a powerful header goalwards, but heads downwards and away to the right.
8.26pm GMT
40 min: Hutton is very lucky to escape a booking for a Huttonesque lunge on Berahino, 35 yards out. Brunt chips the ball into the area down the inside right. Guzan hesitates, having decided to come out. Morrison, competing down the right, hesitates too. If either had kept going, they’d have won the ball. As it is, the thing bounces harmlessly out for a goal kick. Both players have the good grace to look thoroughly embarrassed.
8.24pm GMT
38 min: Very scrappy, now, this. Though West Brom have at least managed to stem the Villa tide, which was fairly relentless for 15, 20 minutes or so.
8.23pm GMT
36 min: Villa are pressing with purpose. West Brom are having to ping some precision passes around simply to keep possession for more than two or three seconds. Fletcher, Gardner and Yacob exchange rat-a-tat passes, eventually shuttling the ball wide for Brunt, whose deep cross is dealt with easily by Lowton. Now it’s the away side who are displaying signs of anxiety and low confidence. And look at where we were half an hour ago. Football, huh.
8.20pm GMT
33 min: Some pretty triangles in the middle of the park by West Brom. Fletcher, Berahino and Morrison are all involved, inching down the ground in a pretty style, before Morrison attempts to burst clear down the right. He has to settle for a corner, which is delivered ineptly into the box by the same player. It doesn’t beat the first man, though a chance nearly presents itself anyway, as Lawton slices haplessly into the air. Eventually the ball’s bundled clear, but in scenes that should be soundtracked by a slightly out-of-tune piano. There’s a reason Villa are where they are right now.
8.17pm GMT
30 min: West Brom can hardly get a touch of the ball. This has been an impressive showing from Villa on the whole, especially when you consider how nervous they were looking in the opening exchanges. “Surely I can’t be the only person who saw the scoreline in the AVL-WBA match and said, ‘I wonder which WBA player scored the own goal?’” quips Peter McMurry. Indeed, indeed. And now here’s Villa threatening to turn into a goal machine!
8.15pm GMT
27 min: Another simple long ball, and West Brom are all over the shop again! Agbonlahor busts clear down the left, cuts into the area, and slides one under Foster. The ball’s bouncing goalwards, into the empty net, but Lescott slides in brilliantly to hook the ball off the line! As things stand, Aston Villa have fallen roughly three inches short of a 3-0 lead.
8.12pm GMT
24 min: West Brom attempt to come straight back at Villa, Morrison in a little space down the right, but his ball into the centre is not much good. Villa Park is bouncing after that opening goal. The home fans haven’t seen too many this season. That’s only the tenth! And it’s Agbonlahor’s first in 14. Relief all round.
8.09pm GMT
Villa Park erupts, and the opening goal was so simple! A long clearance by Guzan. Benteke rises and flicks a header down the inside-right channel. Agbonlahor is free! He enters the area, and slips it past Foster into the bottom left, with Lescott and McAuley not able to get back in time. Sherwood goes racing off down the touchline. You can’t say he doesn’t walk it like he talks it!
8.07pm GMT
21 min: A Villa free kick down the right. They load the box, so N’Zogbia attempts to thrash a direct shot home from 40 yards. Nope! What a ludicrous decision.
8.07pm GMT
19 min: Cleverley drifts in from the left and unleashes a rising drive, aimed towards the top-right corner. Too high, and Foster had it covered. But Villa have been the better side after a slow first ten minutes.
8.05pm GMT
18 min: Nothing much has happened since that astonishing goalline cock-up/save. I don’t think anybody can quite believe what happened. What’s right is right, of course, but Foster really didn’t deserve to get away with that. And poor Villa can’t catch a break.
8.03pm GMT
15 min: On the touchline, Sherwood continues to eff and jeff.
8.02pm GMT
14 min: Benteke is inches away from giving Villa the lead! An inch, maybe. A ball hoicked into the West Brom area from the left. Benteke, level with the right-hand post, heads down for Agbonlahor, who has his back to goal but spins on the penalty spot and lashes a low shot straight at Foster. The keeper should gather easily, but lets the ball squirm through his hands. It’s going in, a dreadful error, but Foster turns to smother in a panic. And the goalline technology doesn’t buzz, so no goal! Replays show roughly 999 thousandths of the ball across the line, but not the whole thing. That’s as close as you can get! Villa are so unlucky. Foster has got away with a big one there.
7.59pm GMT
13 min: A good old-school route-one lump upfield by Cleverley. McAuley tries to help it back to Foster with his head, but only succeeds in clanking it off Benteke. The ball still makes it back to the keeper, but only just. Shoddy defence.
7.57pm GMT
10 min: They’re looking a bit better up the other end, Benteke winning a right-wing cross on the edge of the box and heading down for Cleverley, who attempts to break clear on goal down the right-side channel. Cleverley miscontrols however and bundles a white shirt to the ground. Still, Villa are causing a little bother in the West Brom area, which should give them hope.
7.55pm GMT
9 min: Brunt, in a tight space down the left, digs a majestic cross out from near the corner. Clark is forced to turn it out for a corner on the right, without anybody near him. That’s a sloppy, nervous error, but he gets away with it because the linesman puts his flag up; seems Brunt’s cross had curled out of play. But Villa looked shaky again there.
7.53pm GMT
8 min: Delph, just in front of the centre circle, sprays a diagonal pass towards Benteke, who traps and strides clear into the area. Sadly for Villa, he’s offside. But that’s a bit better from the home team, who haven’t seen much of the ball early on.
7.52pm GMT
5 min: Villa’s lack of confidence is betraying them early doors. Berahino very nearly breaks clear down the right, chasing after a long ball. Okore does better this time, coming across to mop up. A few nervous moans from the home fans already. On the bench, Sherwood has already displayed several of the classic Manager Under Pressure giveaway signs. Arms folded? Check! Bottle of water thrown down in frustration? Check! Effin’ and jeffin’? Check!
7.49pm GMT
3 min: Okore plays a godawful clearing pass down the right wing, near his own penalty area, and it’s easily intercepted by Gardner, who ships the ball inside for Ideye. The striker nearly combines well with Berahino on the edge of the area, and for a second it looks like the latter will be breaking clear on goal. But he can’t quite control and the ball bounces out for a goal kick. Okore got away with some fairly shaky defending there, because his attempts to salvage the situation weren’t too impressive either.
7.48pm GMT
2 min: All a bit scrappy in the opening exchanges, as you’d expect from two teams not quite clicking and in the lower half of the table. Gardner attempts to bustle down the middle of the park, but all the former Villa and Blues midfielder gets for his efforts is booed.
7.45pm GMT
And we’re off! Villa get themselves into a huddle before kick-off. Ah a lovely motivational moment. That’s Tim! West Brom will get the ball rolling, kicking towards the Holte End in the first half. “It’s clear the difference between Villa and WBA is their two managers,” opines Rob Edwards. “Sherwood resembles a frightened owl on match days (albeit a well-dressed one). And Pulis looks as if he’d tear your face off for a laugh. Fear is a great motivator in these situations. Expect a routine 2-0 WBA win here.”
7.42pm GMT
The teams are out! Aston Villa are in their famous Victorian claret and blue, while West Brom should be in their classic navy blue and white stripes, but of course this season are going with that weird white-with-navy-pinstripe number instead. Then again, no point being too conservative with a small cee, I suppose. Villa’s idiosyncratic Denmark rip-off of the mid-to-late 80s has gone down as something of a cult classic, after all, while for all the current Baggies kit’s faults, at least the club’s fans can watch their team without feeling guilty for sucking down that lovely pre-match ciggie. A rare old derby atmosphere at Villa Park!
7.24pm GMT
Villa have made one change, with Charles N’Zogbia replacing Scott Sinclair. Ron Vlaar is still out with a calf injury. Albion meanwhile are unchanged from their win over Southampton, with hot striking partnership Saido Berahino and Brown Ideye shrugging off injuries to keep hold of their places. All of this means Villa fan Marcus Guest isn’t wholly optimistic, if this email is anything to go by: “We usually have to carry at least one player - but Cleverly, N’Zogbia and Agbonlahor in the same team is just masochistic. I’m assuming our best defensive midfielder and only flair player going forward are both dropped again as they don’t speak English so haven’t responded to Tim’s psych-op motivational talks. Really didn’t think we could get relegated - but that’s what all big teams who have gone down said, isn’t it?” Yep. You’ll have witnessed that one first hand.
6.48pm GMT
Aston Villa: Guzan, Lowton, Okore, Clark, Hutton, Cleverley, Westwood, Delph, Agbonlahor, Benteke, N’Zogbia.
Subs: Bacuna, Sinclair, Weimann, Sanchez, Gil, Given, Grealish.
West Bromwich Albion: Foster, Dawson, McAuley, Lescott, Brunt, Gardner, Yacob, Fletcher, Morrison, Ideye, Berahino.
Subs: Wisdom, Olsson, Baird, Myhill, Pocognoli, Mulumbu, Sessegnon.
6.30pm GMT
Poor old Tim Sherwood. As things stand, he’s the worst Aston Villa manager in the club’s entire history. Two games in charge, two defeats, that’s an overall record of zero percent. Zero percent! Even Alex McLeish, Dr Jo Venglos and Tommy Docherty did marginally better than that.
Admittedly, it’s a bit off, this, going after a man armed only with a ludicrously small statistical sample. But he started it! After all, it wasn’t us who argued that Sherwood’s win record at Tottenham - painstakingly built up over a period of 28
minutes
matches - made him the club’s best boss of the Premier League era, despite the other 11 managers in question having a combined CV consisting of two English leagues, the French league, the Portuguese league, six Swiss leagues, the FA Cup, two Dutch cups, the Portuguese cup, the Spanish cup, five Swiss cups, the Emperor’s Cup in Japan, the Uefa Super Cup, three Europa Leagues and two League Cups. Admittedly only the two League Cups had anything to do with Spurs, but the point stands. Just about. On a rickety plinth.
Dave Whelan speaks! And no, not about that. Or that!
The 1960 FA Cup final between Wolverhampton Wanderers and Blackburn Rovers was described in Ye Olde Bigge Paper as “one of the quietest, most apathetic FA Cup finals Wembley has known”. In an attempt to counterbalance this, Blackburn left-back Dave Whelan has subsequently droned on, at considerable length and volume, over a 55-year period, at regular five-minute intervals, in the blowhard style, about the broken leg he suffered in that dreadful game, which ended 3-0 to Wolves and would otherwise have been completely forgotten. So thanks to Dave for constantly reminding us of that one.
WHAT IS IT WITH MUSEUMS AND DADS?
Continue reading...February 28, 2015
France 13-20 Wales: Six Nations 2015 – as it happened | Scott Murray
Dan Biggar’s brilliantly worked second-half try was the difference as Wales deservedly won an entertaining, if undistinguished, encounter in Paris.
6.41pm GMT
After a scrappy period in the midfield, it’s all over! Four in row for Wales against France! And their Six Nations dream is still alive. The home support meanwhile fill the Stade de France with the most piercing cacophony of whistling. An exciting if not particularly distinguished game. Wales deserved their win, playing their usual power game, kicking well, a glorious passing move proving the difference. France ... well, France need to start flinging the passes around again, don’t they? It’s what they do. It’s who they are. This can’t continue, that much is true.
6.38pm GMT
78 min: France work the line-out satisfactorily, and drive forwards. The crowd heave with the men in blue. France attempt to work it down the right. Wales hold it up. The fling it to the left, where Dulin is in a bit of space. He cuts inside, and is absolutely clattered by Williams. Wales snaffle the loose ball as it springs from Dulin’s grasp, and this might be enough for Wales!
6.36pm GMT
77 min: But an error by Wales, who fail to bind the scrum. A penalty to France. It’s on the limits of Lopez’s range, and in any case France need seven points, so they kick for the right-hand corner. It’s only just inside the 22, but a chance for France to work through a few phases in Welsh territory.
6.35pm GMT
76 min: It’s a scrum. You know how they pan out. As everyone fannies around, the clock zips along.
6.34pm GMT
75 min: Scrum to Wales in the midfield. The clock is beginning to riff on France’s pain.
6.32pm GMT
No mistake, and Wales are a converted try ahead. A brilliant response so quickly after France got themselves back into the game. Paris, she is depressed.
6.30pm GMT
73 min: They’ll certainly be the happier team now, as France wheel the scrum round. This’ll be a penalty, the sort Halfpenny rarely misses, just outside the 22, to the left of the posts.
6.29pm GMT
72 min: Scrums, eh. Wales will be happy enough with all this nonsense.
6.29pm GMT
71 min: Wales have been by far the better team in this second half, but their hosts have the tails up now. But a little momentum shift as Wales hoick long down the left, and a French hand knocks on. Scrum to Wales, just outside the 22.
6.27pm GMT
Lopez redeems himself, just about, by duffing a poor connection over the sticks and between the posts. To be fair, that was right on the touchline, so hardly a gimme. But it wasn’t much of a kick. A mixture of relief and excitement as he celebrates the extra two points. This really is on again!
6.26pm GMT
And they get it! France finally put a few phases together. Throwing the ball hither and yon, Dusautoir surges down the middle and nearly crosses the line. He’s held up, but two raking passes left, Bastareaud again involved, and Dulin’s found in space on the touchline. He powers over, and this game is back on!
6.23pm GMT
66 min: Bastareaud flicks a pass out to the left, where Atonio bombs down the wing at pace. He’s held up. France go again, the same combination. Again Wales hold firm. This is better from the French, though. They certainly need something quickly.
6.22pm GMT
Straight between the sticks. Gorgeously stroked home from a tight angle. France are in a lot of trouble now. Their Six Nations campaign hangs on a gossamer thread.
6.21pm GMT
64 min: The maul is working well for Wales. Again they’ve got France on the back foot, pushing them back down the left flank. Eventually a blue shirt comes in at the side, and Halfpenny will be kicking for goal, 30 yards out, though close enough to the touchline for this to be missable.
6.19pm GMT
63 min: France can’t put two passes together. The Parisian crowd is mute. There are, however, some hymns and arias. Wales are totally on top now.
6.18pm GMT
Roberts busts through the middle, drawing a couple of tackles, and passes to Lydiate, who flicks an immediate reverse ball right to Biggar. Biggar races diagonally to the corner, and touches down! A wonderful move. A Welsh score had been coming. Halfpenny, out on the right touchline, slips as he kicks and can’t convert.
6.15pm GMT
59 min: Davies looks to crash through the middle, taking a long pass inside from the left. But he’s brought to a quick halt. Wales set themselves inside the 22, and whip the ball back to Biggar, who drops for goal. It’s a decent effort, 30 yards out, just to the left of the sticks. But not quite good enough, clattering off the left-hand post and away.
6.13pm GMT
58 min: Wales win turnover ball after a shambolic line-out by France, deep in home territory. Wales get the scrum on the 22. Time to turn the screw, while the going is good?
6.12pm GMT
56 min: Another rolling maul by Wales, and good ground is made. Wales have the penalty as France drag it down, but opt to rake the ball wide right, and for a second look like breaking clear down the wing. But the move breaks down, after the advantage is gone. Wales are on top here, though.
6.10pm GMT
55 min: A lengthy period of scrumfaff. A spectator sport, this is. Several changes by France, the entire front row, but the most important switch is Tillous-Borde for Parra.
6.08pm GMT
He’s not missing that. The benefits of a metronomic kicker, writ large.
6.07pm GMT
51 min: Wales enjoy their first period of sustained possession since the restart. A rolling maul, Wales making good for the 22. France come in at the side, and this’ll be a penalty. A garryowen into orbit to the right wing is gathered by North, rather brilliantly so. For a second the advantage might lead to a try, but France eventually force Wales to mishandle, and Halfpenny will be kicking for goal.
6.05pm GMT
... scores! Though only just. Dearie me. That one’s hooked a little, and only just stays inside the left-hand upright. But through the posts is through the posts is through the posts, and that’s three points. We’re all level!
6.04pm GMT
48 min: A few phases for France, and they’ve got penalty advantage, Wales coming in at the side. Huget attempts a grubber kick into the corner down the right, but it’s too strong. Clank. No matter, they’ll get to kick for goal, and surely won’t miss this one, smack bang in the middle of the park, on the 22. Lopez is back to take! And he ...
6.02pm GMT
46 min: France plod up the middle in the Warrenball style. They’re gaining ground. Then Lopez dinks a kick across to the left wing, Dulin very nearly gathering on the touchline. It’s too flat an angle. Had that been closer to the tryline, Dulin would have been able to sprint past North and gather for the score. But the ball flies into touch. Lopez enjoys that little diagonal kick, though.
6.00pm GMT
44 min: France comes straight back at Wales with the Gallic passing, flinging it hither and yon. All very stylish, the team pressing up both flanks. But eventually a more basic move, as Bastareaud attempts to bust through down the middle. However, a spot of crossing does for the move, just as the big man was threatening to cross the line. Wales, still in the dressing room, will be along in a minute.
5.58pm GMT
42 min: Different kicker, same result: Parra’s effort drifts across the front of the posts and away to the left. That’s nine points gone begging. France have never been the most dependable nation in this respect, but this is ridiculous.
5.56pm GMT
And we’re off again! France get proceedings under way. A dinked restart, gathered with elan, and the hosts are immediately on the front foot. And within 20 seconds, it’s a penalty, 40 yards out down the right, Wales coming in at the side. Parra will be taking this one, in the wake of Lopez’s first-half nightmare with the boot.
5.51pm GMT
Half-time entertainment:
5.45pm GMT
And that’s that for the half. Wales just about deserve their lead. France created the only try opportunity, but Wales have dominated territory and possession. Interesting more than exciting, but it’s set up beautifully for the second half. Who will keep their Six Nations season alive?
5.44pm GMT
40 min: At the restart, Wales drag down a maul and concede a penalty, 30 yards from goal, just to the left of the sticks. It’s another easy kick for Lopez, but he’s having a bit of a shocker, and slices the effort well wide right of the posts. That is properly dismal.
5.42pm GMT
38 min: ... but after ten of them, France snaffle the turnover. Fofana threatens to break upfield, set on a scamper by a clever offload by Bastareaud, but loses the ball. Then there’s a gap opening for Webb to squeeze through on the counter! But he’s thwarted by a last-ditch tackle too. Eventually Wales don’t bother releasing, and France can belt a penalty into touch upfield.
5.40pm GMT
36 min: Davies whips a pass out to North on the right wing, 40 yards out. North looks for a second like he’s got the pace and determination to make it all the way, but Dusautoir puts a stop to his gallop. The ball’s shuttled into the middle, though, where Wales put together a few phases ...
5.39pm GMT
34 min: Disallowed try! France have a numerical advantage down the right. Lopez flings a long pass to Huget on the wing. Huget breaks through a couple of weak tackles, and loops spectacularly over the line and into the corner. But that’s no try, because Lopez’s pass was clearly forward. No need for TV replays, which is good to see, the referee backing his own decision, viewed in fast-motion, high-definition reality. Lopez will be kicking himself, though.
5.36pm GMT
32 min: Wales look to break upfield along the right flank. Lydiate falls on the ground, clutching the ball, and goes to sleep. Penalty, and France can clear their lines. Wales really do need to speed some of these attacks up. Quite a few gaps threaten to open up, before Wales hover about and allow France to fill them again.
5.34pm GMT
31 min: Hymns and Arias getting a passionate run-through right now. Wales have done a number on the home crowd.
5.33pm GMT
The penalty’s on the 22, just to the right of the posts. Halfpenny strokes the ball between the posts, as he does.
5.32pm GMT
28 min: A faff-free scrum! How about that? It allows Wales to quickly shuttle the ball wide right with a series of rat-a-tat passes, but North is held up by Dulin. However, there’ll be a penalty for Wales, French pinkies going where they shouldn’t.
5.30pm GMT
27 min: Davies chips along the left flank. Dulin was waiting to gather, but the bounce is not kind to him, the ball kicks hard right off the turf, and Roberts gathers. Wales will have the put-in at a scrum, 15 yards from the tryline. See you in about 15 minutes, then.
5.28pm GMT
25 min: A quick tap-penalty by Parra, and France are bursting upfield. Wales, panicking and backtracking at speed, refuse to release a blue shirt. Penalty, in a central position, 40 yards from the posts, and kicking downwind. But Lopez’s effort drifts wide left of the sticks, never going through the gap. That’s pretty poor, a three-point gift spurned.
5.25pm GMT
22 min: Biggar gets fed up and launches a towering garryowen upfield. The wind takes it all the way back to him. He catches it, having gone nowhere. As a metaphor for this Welsh attempt at building pressure, it’s pretty effective. Possession’s eventually lost.
5.22pm GMT
20 min: Wales fling a few passes around at high speed. Very pretty, if not particularly effective in terms of making ground. Williams and Roberts take turns to attempt power bursts through the middle. It all slows down a bit. But Wales are building the phases, just inside French territory.
5.20pm GMT
He’s never missing it. Just before the kick, an injured Lamerat was replaced by Bastareaud.
5.19pm GMT
17 min: Scrum to France now. There goes another 120 seconds of RBS-sponsored life. The ball’s eventually dispatched back to Lopez, who dinks the ball across to the left. It’s aimless, and gathered easily by North, but Roberts has bolted offside. This’ll be an easy kick for Lopez.
5.17pm GMT
14 min: So it’s scrum to Wales, near their tryline on the French right. And you know what scrums mean. That’s correct! A lot of ballsing around. What a business. Eventually, after a couple of resets and one big circular dance, the ball comes squirting out and Wales clear upfield a little.
5.15pm GMT
13 min: After gathering the line out, Lopez chips a delightful crossfield ball towards Guitoune, tight on the right-hand touchline. He bats down in the direction of Huget, a magnificent effort just before he falls backwards into touch. But the ball doesn’t quite find the man. That would have been picture-book, had it come off.
5.13pm GMT
12 min: Penalty for France, as Wales refuse to release in the middle of the park. It’s just inside the French half, so they’ll look for touch down the left. And Lopez finds it, well inside the 22. A chance for France to exert pressure on the Welsh defence for the first time in the match.
5.11pm GMT
11 min: The pitch at the Stade de France is already cutting up like Christopher Ecclestone in Fortitude. A lot of slipping around.
5.10pm GMT
9 min: Biggar gathers his own kick, and Wales have gained a little bit of ground. But when the ball’s flung towards the left wing, Roberts knocks on. Wales had men over there, with a chance to gobble up some yards. But as it is, France will have the put-in.
5.09pm GMT
Clip! It’s over. A more than acceptable start for the visitors, who have looked very tidy in the early exchanges.
5.08pm GMT
6 min: A slick right-to-left French passing move comes to naught. Wales stream back upfield into French territory. Wales are looking to bustle their way to the left wing. And back. Ten phases, and they’re making ground. And France go off their feet. Leigh Halfpenny will have a simple kick for goal, 30 yards out in a central position.
5.04pm GMT
3 min: After plenty of faffing around at the scrum, Davies looks to break down the left wing. But then Williams is clattered by Huget, and Wales refuse to release. Penalty, which allows the hosts to batter the ball into touch down the right - take note, Scotland - and gain territory.
5.03pm GMT
And we’re off! Wales get the ball rolling, or more accurately spinning and flying. France snaffle, and Lopez sends a garryown upfield. For a second it looks like they’ve regained possession on the halfway line, but a knock-on hands possession to Wales, who’ll get the put-in as the teams bind for the first scrum.
4.56pm GMT
The teams are out! The Stade de France in Paris crackles with that gorgeous, electric, unique Six Nations atmosphere. France keep Wales waiting in the tunnel before taking to the pitch. But eventually everyone gets there. Sam Warburton attempts to lead his men out at David Sole speed, but his team-mates, straining at the leash, break past him, the eager pups. “The Calcutta Cup next week could be a fizzing feast of free flowing rugby with tries and silly penalties galore,” writes Robin Hazlehurst. “While the most dynamic and inspired thing about France-Wales today is likely to be the anthems, followed by loads of bash and bosh. Funny old world, who saw that coming.” Ah, yes, the anthems. There’s a passionate rendition of the French national anthem ...
4.00pm GMT
One of these teams will, providing there’s no unlikely draw, join England and Ireland on four points at the top of the 2015 Six Nations table by the time the sun goes down. But let’s be honest, right now, this feels like a mid-table encounter, doesn’t it. Won one, lost one; won one, lost one. First the wins, and both teams could easily have been defeated by Scotland, had Vern Cotter’s green team possessed a little more patience and street smarts. As for the defeats? France were out-fought by Ireland, Wales out-thought by England. A mid-table carry-on all right.
Can either team snap out of it? Wales are coming off the back of that win at Murrayfield, so have a little momentum at least, and have beaten the French in their last three Test meetings. France meanwhile have decided to trade a little of their power game for something a tad more gallic, so back comes Morgan Parra. Hope still an energy for both sides. So it should be a fascinating match, for by the time the sun goes down, one of these teams will still have that mid-table look … but the other will still be in with a shout of the title. It’s on!
Continue reading...West Ham v Crystal Palace: Premier League – as it happened | Scott Murray
Glenn Murray became Palace’s goalscoring hero, then got himself sent off, as Alan Pardew enjoyed his return to an old haunt.
2.38pm GMT
The impressive-looking Nene, coming in from the right, curls one towards the bottom left. Speroni, scrambling, palms round the post, and the corner’s the last kick of the match. And that’s your lot. West Ham couldn’t turn all that late pressure into a second goal. But Palace deserved their win. They were excellent in the middle portion of this match, and move above Everton into 12th place. West Ham meanwhile have now gone six without a win, and stay in eighth, in danger of being overhauled by Swansea later today. Big Sam’s behemoth rollercoaster / log flume needs to take an upward turn, and quickly.
2.35pm GMT
90 min +4: The away fans are confident enough to strike up a chorus of Super Alan Pardew. That’ll hurt the home support all right.
2.35pm GMT
90 min +3: Kouyate challenges Speroni, the ball coming down with snow on from the left. The keeper wins the crucial battle, catching the cross, the clock ticking on.
2.34pm GMT
90 min +2: Jenkinson probes a couple of times down the right, but can’t prise Palace open. Downing nearly does so, with a slippy pass down the same flank, but Kouyate, looking to break into the box, miscontrols instead of getting a shot away.
2.33pm GMT
90 min +1: Nene makes good down the right, but earns nothing more exciting than a throw.
2.32pm GMT
90 min: A ball bouncing around the Palace area. Kouyate falls on the edge of the six-yard box. Screams for a penalty kick, though none from the player himself. There will be five added minutes of this magnificently deranged entertainment.
2.31pm GMT
89 min: West Ham are pinning ten-man Palace back, but the clock is not their friend now. Another floaty right-wing cross is met by Sakho, but not with any real power. His header drifts into the grateful hands of Speroni.
2.30pm GMT
87 min: Sakho cuts into the Palace area from the left, but loses control, allowing Jedinak to batter clear. The Palace captain then crumps a cheeky elbow on the side of Sakho’s noggin. What a clown. That could, and should, be a red card. But wasn’t spotted, and isn’t.
2.29pm GMT
86 min: Brief respite for Palace, with a lot of fannying around. And then, out of nothing, Valencia bursts down the inside left and, 30 yards out, launches a screamer towards the top right. It’s swerving around all over the shop, but it’ll be screeching and dropping into the top right. Speroni reads it marvellously and palms the ball out for a corner, a full-length save of extreme brilliance. Great football all round! The set piece? Not so great.
2.26pm GMT
84 min: Jenkinson romps down the right and fires a low ball to the near post, where Koutaye slides in late on Delaney. Free kick, and a chance for Palace to run the clock down. Delaney grabs that opportunity too keenly, though, kicking the ball away with some purpose, and earning himself a yellow card. This is tense. Who’d have thought the match would end like this when Palace’s third goal went in?
2.25pm GMT
83 min: Palace attempt to shore things up a bit by swapping Bolasie for Ledley.
2.24pm GMT
82 min: Palace are all over the shop. Noble slides a ball down the inside-right channel to release Jenkinson into the area. The full back looks to sidefoot into the bottom right, but Speroni saves at point-blank range. Corner, from which Downing, on the right-hand edge of the box, slams a low shot into the side netting. Another West Ham goal here, and oh me, oh my.
2.22pm GMT
79 min: Yes, it’s attack versus defence all right, and the denizens of Upton Park smell a drop of blood. Nene romps into space down the right, and hits a cross into the area at 497mph. The ball pings off Sakho’s head, and over the bar from ten yards. What an effort to even meet that cross! Not totally surprising that getting it on target was a pipe dream. Palace are panicking.
2.20pm GMT
78 min: It’s attack versus defence now, with West Ham’s tails up. Jenkinson drops a shoulder to power down the right, and whips a Power Cross towards the far post. In fact, he almost Koncheskys it into the top left! It would have been a total fluke of a goal, but it was a stunningly good cross. Nobody in to meet it, sadly for West Ham. And that’s a goal kick.
2.19pm GMT
Downing is in space, to the right of the Palace D. A chance to take a shot, but he’s not in the mood, and slides gently inside to Valencia instead. Valencia is not so shy, and batters a low effort into the bottom left from the right-hand corner of the D. Marvellous shot! What an effort! And this game is suddenly back on!
2.17pm GMT
75 min: Sakho dribbles with purpose down the inside-right channel and gets a snapshot away, looking for the bottom right from a tight spot. Deflected. Corner, from which Reid takes a slash from the edge of the box. That’s deflected, too.
2.15pm GMT
73 min: Downing meanders down the right, before sailing a high ball towards the far post. It’s not much of a cross, really, no speed on it. Valencia and Sakho put the tin lid on it by clattering into each other in a futile attempt to get a head to the ball.
2.14pm GMT
72 min: Zaha jigs down the right. He’s attracted three West Ham defenders towards him, and as a result Puncheon is totally free in the middle, on the edge of the area. But Zaha holds onto the ball too long, and his eventual cross is easily deflected out for a throw. And that’s Zaha’s last contribution to this afternoon’s entertainment, as he’s hooked for Ameobi, who does indeed get a run out despite Murray’s clumsiness and stupidity.
2.12pm GMT
69 min: Palace were about to swap Murray for Ameobi. Too late! Murray comes across the front of Reid as the pair challenge for a ball in the West Ham box. He’s clipped the defender clumsily, and knows exactly what’s going to happen, falling to the ground holding his head, annoyed with himself. A second yellow, and Palace are down to ten men! FFS Murray indeed.
2.10pm GMT
68 min: Sheer brilliance from the new boy Nene! He picks up a Downing pass from the right, a cutback from deep, on the edge of the area. He opens his body and curls one for the top left, only for the ball to clank off the left-hand post with Speroni beaten all ends up!
2.08pm GMT
66 min: A free kick for the Hammers, out on the left. Noble floats it in, and Tomkins eyebrows harmlessly wide right.
2.07pm GMT
65 min: Quite a few irate punters flooding out of the stands, and home. And West Ham’s players are suffering from temperature of the head, too. Valencia is booked for a cynical check on Puncheon.
2.06pm GMT
Kouyate is robbed in the centre circle
by a comically obvious hand ball by McArthur, a volleyball-style spike
. Puncheon feeds Murray down the left. He’s bundled over, just outside the area, by an irate Kouyate. And how costly! Puncheon curls the set piece into the box, and Murray stoops to guide a delightful header into the bottom-right corner, Adrian rooted to the spot! Shades of offside? Possibly, possibly, but so borderline that the attacker must be given the benefit of the doubt.
West Ham are entitled to be livid with that nonsense in the centre circle, mind
.
Edit: who’d be a referee? Not me! The ball clanked off McArthur’s head, though his hand was waving in the air at the time.
2.03pm GMT
61 min: West Ham shuffle the pack. The ponderous Song is replaced by the new boy Nene.
2.02pm GMT
59 min: Tomkins is booked for a late lunge on Bolasie. The free kick, from a deep position on the left, is lifted towards Murray, who claims to have been shoved in the back by Reid as the pair contest a header. He’s got a point, too, but to be fair didn’t flop to the ground looking for the decision. It would have been a cheap penalty, but you’ve seen them given.
2.00pm GMT
58 min: Downing is often impressive, often invisible. It’s been the latter today, but here he is making off down the right, before lumping a cross towards the far post. Speroni plucks it from the sky easily enough, but that’s a little bit better by the Hammers.
1.59pm GMT
57 min: Jedinak whips a stunning free kick inches wide of the bottom left. Adrian would probably have managed to fingertip that one round the post were it on target, but it’s a goal kick rather than a corner.
1.58pm GMT
56 min: West Ham are all over the shop. Tomkins plays a loose square ball across the back, allowing Zaha to take a touch down the right. He’s obstructed, but Ward comes zipping in to pick up the loose ball. Song should have swept up, but he was standing around scratching the back of his shorts, yawning. Tomkins is forced to bring down Ward, and that’ll be a free kick to Palace in a dangerous position, 30 yards out, right in the middle.
1.56pm GMT
54 min: Ward is quite rightly booked for a thoroughly cynical tug on Valencia as the West Ham attacker tries to break into the area down the left. The resulting free kick is ballooned into the stand behind the goal by Noble. But signs that this game is not over yet, if West Ham want it.
1.55pm GMT
52 min: West Ham respond well, Jenkinson cutting into the area from the right and looking to swing a shot into the top left. It’s deflected, and hoicked clear. Then Palace are threatening up the other end, McArthur with the ball at his feet down the inside right. McArthur falls apart when he enters the area, like a cake left out in the rain. Oh no noooooooo.
1.53pm GMT
Zaha tears off down the right and earns Palace a corner. Dann meets the set piece with a fairly aimless header, but it clanks off Reid and out for another corner on the same side. And from the second one, it’s Dann versus Reid again. This time Reid’s nowhere near it, allowing Dann to rise at the back post and power a header into the top left!
1.51pm GMT
50 min: Tomkins launches long into the Palace box. Kelly dispatches it straight back upfield. The 1980s want their minute back.
1.50pm GMT
48 min: The busy Bolasie embarks on another run down the left, burning off Jenkinson with ease. He’s got space to work a cross into the middle, where Murray awaits, but shanks a dreadful effort into the stand behind. West Ham will come out from the changing room soon, I imagine.
1.48pm GMT
And we’re off again! Palace get the ball rolling for the second half, kicking in the direction of the tube. They tear down the pitch in the manner of folk racing for the last train home. Bolasie cuts in from the left at 298mph, and looks to curl powerfully into the top right. Reid bravely gets in the way, and takes one square in the mush, requiring treatment as a result. Eleven seconds had passed, there, before play was stopped. But what a start to the half!
1.38pm GMT
Half-time reading: The applause on the 38th minute was for Dylan Tombides, who sadly succumbed to cancer last April at the age of 20. No age at all, poor lad. He’s being remembered in the best way possible, not just for his talent and his bravery, but in the hope of raising awareness through the DT38 charity (38 being his squad shirt, which West Ham have retired). More details on the DT38 website.
1.32pm GMT
Kouyate swivels and shakes down the inside-right channel, before looping a cross into the centre. Valencia challenges, but Dann clears. And that’s that for the first half. The Hammers started strongly, but Palace grew into that game, and are good for their lead. It should be an intriguing second half. No flipping!
1.30pm GMT
44 min: Perhaps that goal will be awarded to Murray, as the header was on target. But come on. You could have left that Murray header alone, and it might not have even made it to the goal line! Palace are soon coming at West Ham again, Reid forced into conceding another corner down the right. And from the set piece, more bedlam. Song heads clear at the near post, but only to McArthur, to the right of the D. McArthur sends a low fizzer goalwards, and West Ham are grateful to see it pinball away from danger.
1.28pm GMT
They’ve been looking dangerous all right, and this had been coming. However the goal itself is a shoddy nonsense. A corner on the right is met by the dangerous Murray, 12 yards out in a central position. His header down is nothing more than a soft nod, but Cresswell is standing in front of Adrian, and takes a wild swipe at the ball. All he manages to do is slice it, sending it spinning to the left and into the net, Adrian totally wrongfooted. A total farce. But Palace deserve their lead.
1.27pm GMT
38 min: Upton Park reverberates to applause in memory of the young West Ham player Dylan Tombides, who died of testicular cancer aged 20. More on this at half time. During that time, Murray has a shot saved by Adrian, and then Bolasie is bundled off it by Reid as he threatens down the inside left. Palace are looking dangerous.
1.24pm GMT
37 min: A free kick for Palace down the left. Puncheon floats a lovely ball towards the far post, forcing Reid to eyebrow out for a corner. Zaha was lurking dangerously there. As the corner is taken, there’s a shrill and perfectly clear “you effing cee”, in Dolby super surround on Sky Sports. Marvellous lunchtime entertainment. As for the ball, it ends up at the feet of Delaney at the right-hand post. He shovels a shot-cum-cross towards the left-hand post. Jenkinson scrambles the clearance, though Murray goes down looking for a penalty. He’ll not be getting that. Does Dolby surround sound still exist?
1.21pm GMT
35 min: Murray and Cresswell tussle for a ball down the Palace right. Murray clips the full back’s heel. He’s already been booked, remember, and the ref calls his captain Jedinak in for a rugby-union-style Last Warning lecture. Murray will need to watch himself now.
1.18pm GMT
33 min: An enforced change for Palace. Mutch has strained something in his left thigh, and hobbles off with his shorts hoicked up in the 1980s style. McArthur takes his place.
1.17pm GMT
31 min: Downing dances down the right, and loops a cross to the far post, where Valencia heads downwards but harmlessly wide left. Palace scoot upfield through Puncheon down the left. He slides a ball forward for Murray, who opens his legs in the area and blooters a fine left-footed effort towards the bottom left. Adrian is well positioned, though, and saves with his legs. The ball pings away to safety.
1.16pm GMT
29 min: Sakho has a lash from the best part of 30 yards down the inside-right channel. It’s deflected over the bar, at some velocity, for a corner. And it’s another aimless set piece. Sam Allardyce sits impassively on the bench, the only betrayal of annoyance some furious mastication.
1.14pm GMT
27 min: A corner for West Ham, won down the right by Valencia, is a non-event. Another super dispatch from your award-winning Guardian!
1.11pm GMT
25 min: A poor couple of minutes for Murray. Puncheon skitters into a little space down the inside-right channel. He slides the ball forward for Murray, who has a yard on Reid as he strides into the area. Time to size up a shot, though Reid comes back at him and nudges the striker just in time. Murray shoots, but off balance, slices well wide right of the target from 12 yards.
1.10pm GMT
23 min: Kouyate is felled by a fairly agricultural challenge by Murray. It’s a high boot, left hanging in the air, then eventually pressed into the West Ham midfielder’s knee. Play goes on as West Ham look to release Sakho into the Palace area down the left, but that fizzles out. And when play stops, the Palace striker is issued with a card that matches his shirt. Murray has the good grace not to complain.
1.07pm GMT
20 min: It’s suddenly got a bit scrappy. Reid shovels Zaha onto the cinder track. Once the free kick’s launched upfield, Zaha shoulder charges Cresswell in the illegal style. “May I complain about your flippant caption to the Popemobile photo?” thunders Charles Antaki. “That’s no way to honour a man whose skills in football and diplomacy have earned him the respect of multitudes. I’m referring to the driver, Manuel Pellegrini.”
1.04pm GMT
17 min: Palace hoof it long. Adrian comes out of his area, traps the ball with his thigh, then juggles it before passing it back upfield to a claret-and-blue shirt. Crowd-pleasing skills, which earn a round of warm applause. It’s not all about results.
1.01pm GMT
15 min: ... batters the ball off the crossbar! He gets the free kick up and down quickly, looking for the top left. It doesn’t come down quickly enough, twanging the woodwork violently. Again, Speroni wasn’t getting to that. West Ham so unfortunate! A superb effort.
1.00pm GMT
14 min: Puncheon is a liability right now. He’s just stuck out a leg to needlessly fell Noble, just to the left of the Palace D. This is a free kick in a very dangerous position. Noble, Valencia and Cresswell stand over it. Noble takes, and ...
12.59pm GMT
12 min: A loose pass in his own half by Puncheon, and Cresswell is suddenly in a lot of space down the inside-left channel. He’s got men in the middle to aim at, but opts to go for the top-left corner instead from the edge of the box. It’s a swerving, dipping, nay crazily swerving effort, and it nearly threads its way into the corner. But it’s just over the bar. Not far away, that. Speroni wasn’t getting there in time. A magnificent, if very strange, effort.
12.56pm GMT
10 min: Bolasie latches onto a loose back header by Reid, the defender under pressure from Murray, and makes towards the West Ham area. He holds the ball by the left-hand edge of the D, then backflicks a pass wide left for Zaha, whose delivery inside is poor. West Ham were in a spot of bother for a second there, but Reid, whose poor header started it all, is the man to eventually mop up and clear.
12.54pm GMT
8 min: Kelly makes off down the left wing, his busy and determined run earning a corner. The set piece is looped towards the far post, where Dann heads over harmlessly from the right-hand corner of the six-yard box. Half-chances at both ends. Quarter-chances, maybe. Bright enough to promise a good afternoon’s entertainment.
12.53pm GMT
7 min: Alan Pardew mooching around one of the technical areas he knows so well. The former West Ham boss has his arms folded, and is acting cool, but his heart is sure to be beating like billy-o. A trip to Saints coming up soon, too. It’s all happening for him.
12.51pm GMT
5 min: Zaha is penalised for high kicking in the centre circle. Noble’s free kick is slipped down the inside-left channel, where Valencia and Ward get themselves tangled up. Eventually Ward upends his opponent. Noble’s set piece, effectively a corner, is flicked over his own bar by Murray. The second set piece - this one really is a corner - is plucked from the sky by Speroni. A nice open feel to this game already.
12.49pm GMT
2 min: Palace are soon coming back at West Ham, Bolasie winning a corner down the left. The set piece is floated towards Mutch on the edge of the D. Mutch could volley, but tries to recreate Liverpool defender Steve Nicol’s astonishing header against Arsenal on the opening day of the 1987/88 season at Highbury. As you do. This one doesn’t fly into the top corner, however, floating harmlessly wide left of the target. Why didn’t he pelt that?
12.47pm GMT
And we’re off! Bubbles still ringing around the Boleyn Ground, but coming out of thousands of mouths rather than the sound system. West Ham are quickly on the front foot, Cresswell making good down the left, but his ball inside for Noble is cleared with ease. A cracking atmosphere, much as you’d expect for a capital derby.
12.45pm GMT
The teams are out! West Ham will be playing in their classic claret and blue outfit, while Palace have the look of Brazil, without the cobalt blue shorts or rank defensive incompetence. According to a dispatch from the possibly already bored Jacob Steinberg, who usually hangs about this parish but today is at the Hammerdome, the guy working the PA system was a bit premature with the squelchy bass version of Bubbles, which finished before the players emerged, and had to spin it a second time. All part of the Premier League’s unique charm. We’ll be off in a minute!
12.08pm GMT
FFS Pardew! That may well have been the exasperated cry from Palace fans, had Mr Alan not recalled Glenn Murray to the team. Murray came on against Arsenal last weekend with 11 minutes to go, and his cameo was glorious. With his side two goals down, he scored, then hit the post, inches away from turning certain defeat into an improbable draw. Not quite enough for Palace to avoid going down 2-1, but a personal triumph nonetheless. A deserved berth in the starting XI, then, albeit one which has jiggered the Dwight Gayle-referencing preamble to this report. FFS Murray!
11.52am GMT
West Ham United: Adrian, Jenkinson, Reid, Tomkins, Cresswell, Song, Kouyate, Noble, Downing, Valencia, Sakho.
Subs: Nene, Nolan, Jarvis, O’Brien, Collins, Demel, Jaaskelainen.
Crystal Palace: Speroni, Ward, Dann, Delaney, Kelly, Mutch, Jedinak, Puncheon, Zaha, Murray, Bolasie.
Subs: Hangeland, Hennessey, Gayle, McArthur, Ameobi, Ledley, Souare.
11.45am GMT
West Ham’s season has been a bit up and down. A nondescript start, with miserable home defeats to Tottenham and Southampton bookending a comprehensive victory at Crystal Palace. A picking up of speed, with a run of seven wins in 11 leading to dreams of Champions League football next season. Some gentle trundling, with a series of draws that carefully lowered the side to mid-table. And a stomach-churning plummet: last-minute equalisers conceded to Manchester United and Spurs, a run of five games without a victory, a belt in the mouth at West Brom in the FA Cup, only one league win in the last nine. If only there was an amusement-ride metaphor for all this. It’s not quite spectacular enough to evoke the rollercoaster, is it. The log flume?
The Hammers could certainly do with a win today, if they’re to keep their hopes of European football alive. (Seventh place could be good enough, depending how the cups pan out.) Their performances against Spurs and Manchester United deserved more than the draws they were forced to settle for, so it’s not as if getting back into the winning habit is beyond Sam Allardyce’s occasionally very pretty side. But Crystal Palace are a solid proposition under Alan Pardew, even if the new manager’s honeymoon period looks to have come to an end; they’ve only won one game in the last five, a sequence in which they were knocked out of the FA Cup. But their attacking trio of Yannick Bolasie, Dwight Gayle and Jason Puncheon can cause trouble enough if they click. The Hammers start as favourites, with Palace still haunted by relegation, but anything could happen here today in this east/south London derby. It’s on!
Continue reading...February 25, 2015
Arsenal v Monaco: Champions League – as it happened | Scott Murray
Arsenal were poor, but Monaco were brilliant as Arsène Wenger’s reunion with his former club turned sour.
9.38pm GMT
And that’s that. Oh Arsenal. A little chink of light courtesy of Oxlade-Chamberlain ... and then thanks to a mistake by the same player, Arsenal are in a worse position than they were before their goal flew in, away goals and all that. Can they become only the third team in Champions League history, after Ajax and Inter, to turn around a home deficit in the knockout stages? Yes, of course it’s possible, though they’ll need to be as brilliant in the principality as they were dreadful in London tonight. Giroud, Ozil and Mertesacker all suffered shockers. But for Monaco, Abdennour, Martial, Moutinho and - gallingly, for Arsenal fans - Berbatov were magnificent. They thoroughly deserved their victory, and by this thumping margin, too. “Could Arsenal fans argue that today’s issue of a certain tea-timely football-related e-mail perhaps baited Berbatov and Monaco?” wonders Sarah Rothwell, referencing the work of some clown who shall remain unnamed. “Of course, that would also suggest that Berbatov, much like myself, doesn’t have much of a life and actually reads the Fiver, so never mind...”
9.37pm GMT
No they can’t. And look what happens. Oxlade-Chamberlain gifts the ball to Bernardo Silva, just inside the Monaco half, while attempting to rake a pass down the left. Bernardo Silva clips the ball down the right wing for Ferreira-Carrasco, who romps towards the Arsenal box and whips a shot across Ospina, through his saloon-door of a hand, and into the bottom left, off the post.
9.35pm GMT
90 min +3: Ferreira-Carrasco curls the free kick towards the bottom right. Ospina, after a fashion, gathers. Then launches long. Can Arsenal do something here?
9.34pm GMT
90 min +2: That goal came in the first of four added minutes. Moutinho is booked for clock faffery. Rosicky bundles Ferreira-Carrasco to the ground, 30 yards from goal, just to the right of the target.
9.33pm GMT
What a lovely goal this is! Sanchez earns a corner down the left with a shot from a tight angle. The corner leads to another corner, and that second one’s cleared. But Oxlade-Chamberlain picks up possession, 25 yards out, takes a touch, and curls a beauty into the top right! Arsenal still have it all to do in the second leg - the weight of history is against them - but the deficit has been halved!
9.32pm GMT
89 min: Monaco rip upfield, two on two. Ferreira-Carrasco enters the area and shoots straight at Ospina. He had Bernardo Silva free in the middle. Bernardo Silva ain’t too happy.
9.31pm GMT
88 min: Here’s why Arsenal need something, anything: teams have overturned a first-leg deficit in the Champions League knockout stages to go through 32 times. But only twice – Ajax’s defeat of Panathinaikos in the 1995/96 semi-finals, and Inter’s victory against Bayern Munich in the 2010/11 Round of 16 – has a side progressed after a home first-leg loss. Arsenal are in serious bother all right.
9.29pm GMT
87 min: Ozil is booked for becoming irritated as Monaco faff around insouciantly, in the corner near Arsenal’s box.
9.28pm GMT
86 min: A corner for Arsenal on the right. It’s flapped clear by Subasic, and suddenly Bernardo Silva is romping into the Arsenal half! Fortunately for the Gunners, the Monaco man is more interested in running down the clock, than running towards the Arsenal box with purpose. Having said that, he’s running down the clock, isn’t he, and Arsenal need something, anything here.
9.26pm GMT
84 min: A final change of the evening. Martial is sacrificed for Bernardo Silva.
9.25pm GMT
82 min: Sanchez makes off down the right and wins a hard-earned corner. Before the set piece can be taken, both teams make a change. Rosicky comes on for Cazorla, while Dirar is replaced by Kurzawa. And then the set piece, which is whipped into the six-yard box. Wallace flicks it on to the back post, where Sanchez contorts his body in an attempt to guide a shot into the top left from a tight angle. His effort bounces up and towards the corner, but ripples the side netting. Subasic had it covered.
9.22pm GMT
80 min: Arsenal can’t get the ball at the moment. This is brilliant football from Monaco. There won’t have been a better performance in the Champions League this season. Arsenal have ten minutes plus stoppages to sully it.
9.20pm GMT
78 min: Olé. Olé. Olé. Monaco are passing it round, flicking it hither and yon. Arsenal are frustrated. The travelling fans are ecstatic. Olé. Olé. Olé.
9.19pm GMT
77 min: Martial cuts in from the left and belts a shot goalwards. Ospina, at the left-hand post, is on hand to catch without fuss.
9.19pm GMT
75 min: The zippy Ferreira-Carrasco replaces Berbatov, who ambles off the field at popping-out-for-the-paper-and-pint-of-milk speed. He’s after a deserved ovation, and he gets one, albeit not from every paying punter from every section of the ground.
9.17pm GMT
73 min: Oxlade-Chamberlain turns on the burners down the right. He reaches the byline and fizzes a clever ball to the near post, near Welbeck. But Abdennour sticks a leg out, again, to hook clear. Martial breaks upfield, and is upended by Bellerin, who is booked. This is top-quality end-to-end drama.
9.14pm GMT
70 min: The increasingly confident Moutinho spins the confused Mertesacker down the left, and breaks into the area. He’s got Martial on his inside, but Oxlade-Chamberlain slides in to break up the move. A great tackle, seeing anything mistimed would have ended in all sorts of disaster for Arsenal. This isn’t over: the home side have a goal or two in them, for sure. But so do Monaco.
9.12pm GMT
69 min: Another sliderule pass down the middle cuts Monaco in two. Cazorla the can opener. Walcott is free down the inside-right, Abdennour out of the game, but the ball’s a tad too heavy, and Subasic is out quickly to smother on the edge of the area. Walcott kind of gave up on that. He might have clattered the keeper, but he might have got a toe on the ball too.
9.11pm GMT
68 min: Coquelin, already on a yellow, was lucky to escape a second and an early bath, sliding in late on Moutinho. It would have been harsh, maybe, but you’ll have seen them given. Wenger decides to play it safe, withdrawing the player in favour of Oxlade-Chamberlain.
9.10pm GMT
66 min: Arsenal can take succour from those chances, but they’ll really need to watch themselves at the back; another goal for Monaco will surely do for them. Koscielny falls over while attempting a basic clearance. The ball squirts to Elderson, and he’s got a chance to shoot from the edge of the D, but Martial gets in the way, and Arsenal breathe again.
9.08pm GMT
64 min: It’s not Arsenal’s night. Not yet. A ball’s slid down the inside-right channel to release Walcott into the area. He’s looking at Subasic’s eyes - and batters the ball against his trouser arrangement! A brave save, that’s for sure, but the ball rebounds to Welbeck, who must prod home from ten yards, the keeper prone again. But a combination of Wallace and, frustratingly, Walcott, deflects the ball over the bar! Arsenal have been a shambles, on the whole, and yet could easily have levelled this match through Giroud and now Welbeck. It’s a thin line all right.
9.05pm GMT
62 min: And now Moutinho’s looping a glorious, dipping, swerving shot from distance, having cut inside Bellarin on the left. That wasn’t far away from slipping between Ospina and the crossbar. Two bits of skill within a minute, that can only truthfully be described as Berbatovesque. The man himself will have been proud to stand and watch that.
9.04pm GMT
61 min: Dirar dances in from the right and slides the ball inside for Moutinho, who immediately executes a delicious backflick to the left wing, where Martial is clear! Luckily for Arsenal, Ospina smothers the resulting shot, and the resulting corner is cleared. What a piece of skill by Moutinho, though!
9.02pm GMT
60 min: Giroud is hooked, with Walcott coming on. The Arsenal faithful are doing their level best to keep spirits high, but the cheers already have a desperate edge.
9.00pm GMT
57 min: Sanchez takes matters into his own hands by picking up a loose ball to the right of the Monaco D and blootering a shot towards the bottom left. It’s a pearler. It’s met by Subasic, who can only parry the ball out towards Giroud. He’s got to score, six yards out, with the keeper prone. But he leans back and blasts over. What an appalling miss. This is painful right now for Arsenal; everything that could go wrong is doing exactly that.
8.58pm GMT
55 min: And Berbatov, the erstwhile Spurs hero, on the scoresheet too. Ashburton Grove is in a state of shock right now. “Do you think Arsenal should change their emblem to a man shooting himself in the foot?” quips Ruth Purdue. The cannon’s already facing the wrong way, that’s a start.
8.57pm GMT
Oh my. A long ball up the Monaco left. For some reason, Mertesacker romped into the Monaco half with a view to intercepting. Nope! Martial romps away in acres down the wing, then slides a pass inside for Berbatov, who enters the area, one on one with Ospina. He lashes his shot into the left-hand side of the goal, and Arsenal are in all sorts of trouble now. Monaco only scored four goals in the group stage, but they’ve got another two already within the hour!
8.54pm GMT
51 min: Fabinho bundles Cazorla to the ground, ten yards in front of the Arsenal box, out on the left. A free kick in a dangerous position. Arsenal load the box on the right. Cazorla floats the ball in, and finds the head of Giroud, eight yards out. He should plant the ball into the net, but his effort flies harmlessly over the bar. Not good. He might have been offside there, actually, though I’m not sure the flag went up. No blushes saved, then.
8.52pm GMT
49 min: It’s all Arsenal in these early exchanges. Welbeck flicks the ball delightfully down the left wing past Toure for Gibbs, who has space to break into the area. A miscontrol allows Wallace to stride over, blast the ball clear, and win a free kick by going over Gibbs’s leg. But again, this is better from the home side.
8.50pm GMT
48 min: Bellerin attempts to burst down the right, but can’t find a team-mate in the middle. This has put Monaco on the back foot immediately, though, and the crowd are responding accordingly. Just what Arsenal need, though of course the firsts half began like this too. They’ll need to keep it up this time.
8.49pm GMT
45 mins and 30-odd seconds: Sanchez stabs a pass down the inside-right channel and chases after it himself. He’s clear in the area, albeit at a prohibitive angle. He cuts a low ball into the centre for Giroud, who flicks - or does he shin? - a close-range effort wide right from the corner of the six-yard box. So nearly a blistering start to the half from Arsenal, who have been given the mother of all bollockings at half time if that pacy burst was anything to go by!
8.47pm GMT
And we’re off again! Theo Walcott was out on the pitch warming up during half time, but he’s not been unleashed yet. Arsenal’s starting XI are out first, and they’re kept waiting by Monaco, who hang about in the tunnel, specifically to irritate. They’re booed as they take the field, like they’ll care. No changes, and the visitors get the ball rolling.
8.34pm GMT
Half-time entertainment: Anyone for another reunion not quite going to plan?
8.32pm GMT
... but it’s not very good. Way too close to the keeper. Pluckity catch! And that’s the end of the first half. Monaco’s goal was a preposterous deflection, but it’s hard to deny that they deserve the lead. The early exchanges apart, Arsenal have been poor. Poor Arsene’s big reunion is in danger of turning sour right now.
8.31pm GMT
45 min: Elderson is booked for a rash slide on Welbeck, who, possibly fed up, had embarked on a jet-heeled sprint along the wing. Arsenal need more of that. A chance to load the box. Cazorla curls in the free kick ...
8.30pm GMT
44 min: A few groans from the home crowd as Ozil and Sanchez lose communication links, as the pair attempt to carve out a move down the left channel. The ball flies out of play for a goal kick. Groan groan groan.
8.28pm GMT
42 min: Sanchez tries to be a little cuter, zig-zagging down the left and into the area. A lovely run, direct and yet full of finesse. But Wallace steps across to nick the ball. Coquelin, in the middle of the Monaco half, tries to launch another phase of attack, but miscontrols and lunges in on Kondogbia in an attempt to retrieve the ball. Nope. And that’s a yellow card. He has the good grace to refrain from complaining too much.
8.26pm GMT
40 min: Gibbs makes off down the left, the ball bouncing in front of him. He meets it at the byline, looping it back for Giroud, who plants a header over the bar from the penalty spot. The evidence so far suggests Arsenal need to be a little cuter than this.
8.25pm GMT
Moutinho, down the inside-right channel in space. He’s got time to slide the ball to his left, where Kondogbia’s racing at pace. Kondogbia takes a touch, then belts the ball as hard as he can towards the top right. Ospina goes after it, but the ball takes a deflection off the rooted Mertesacker, and embarks on a different route, straight down the middle. Ospina’s made a micro-movement in the wrong direction, and can’t switch back. Monaco have the lead, and a precious away goal!
8.23pm GMT
37 min: Sanchez makes ground in the Monaco half, before sliding a pass wide right for the overlapping Bellerin. The full back whips a low cross into the middle, where Giroud swings a fast-paced chip over the bar from 12 yards. That ball was moving, and wasn’t easy to keep down, so a decent effort by Giroud.
8.21pm GMT
35 min: Martial jigs down the left, reaches the byline, and pulls the ball back into the area for Moutinho who, running at full pelt down the left channel, sticks out a leg in an attempt to welly the ball into the top right. Nope! Full marks for ambition, I suppose.
8.20pm GMT
33 min: But they regroup quickly, streaming upfield, Ozil making a bit of space down the inside-left channel and sliding a pass across the face of the box for Sanchez. A bit of space, though the ball’s a smidgen behind him, and he’s forced to check before looking for the top left with a diagonal blast. Not bad, but not quite on target. Just over. The closest Arsenal have come, though.
8.19pm GMT
32 min: The Arsenal back four backpedal to a man, Moutinho racing at them and towards the box with great intent. He should shoot, but confused by the presence of Berbatov just ahead and to his left, opts to play a clever pass. It’s not so clever, and Berbatov falls backwards on his buttocks in the comic style, unable to gather the loose ball. What a waste. Arsenal in a panic there.
8.17pm GMT
31 min: Koscielny takes matters into his own hands, busting down the left wing with purpose. He cuts into the box and hits a low cross-cum-shot which bounces off Ozil and heads towards the bottom-left corner. Not at any particular speed, mind you, and Subasic is on hand to snaffle.
8.15pm GMT
30 min: Arsenal are enjoying the lion’s share of possession, as a home side should do, but they’re not really hurting Monaco too much. Cazorla looks the main threat. He’s been excellent. Sanchez looks busy enough. Ozil has been erratic, Welbeck skittish. It’s been a mixed bag all right.
8.14pm GMT
28 min: Cazorla embarks on a superlative slalom down the middle, then drifts a little to the right where space opens up ahead. He’s preparing to cock his leg and shoot from the edge of the box, when Kondogbia, on his shoulder for some time, slides in with a telescopic leg. That’s an exhilarating dribble, and an even better tackle. Applause all round.
8.12pm GMT
25 min: Welbeck is bundled over, 40 yards from goal. Cazorla chips a fairly hopeless ball into the box. Abdennour guides it back to Subasic, and it’s just as well he’s aimed it to the right of goal, because the keeper leaps about in the morris dancing style, and slaps the ball out for a corner! Eh? And it nearly costs Monaco, because Sanchez’s delivery from the right nearly finds Giroud’s head, six yards out. He was preparing to batter home when Wallace eyebrowed the thing away at the very last second. Magnificent defending, though the same can’t be said about the goalkeeping.
8.09pm GMT
23 min: Sanchez twinkles down the middle of the park, before flicking the ball right to Bellerin, who can’t quite get to it. But his presence is enough to panic Abdennour into conceding the corner. Sanchez swings the set piece into the mixer, in the time-honoured British style. Giroud gets his head on it, ten yards out, but can only waft an effort wide left of goal.
8.06pm GMT
20 min: Moutinho has a dig from 25 yards. It’s not particularly good, bobbling apologetically out of play to the left of goal, but a shooting chance is a shooting chance. Monaco are now giving as good as they’re getting.
8.05pm GMT
19 min: Arsenal have dropped the pace, so Cazorla bursts down the right with a view to speeding things up again. It nearly pays dividends, too. He can’t break clear, but lays off for Ozil, who shuttles one down the channel to release Bellerin into the area. The young full back allows the ball to clank between his legs and, half falling over, he fouls Elderson. Free kick to Monaco, releasing the pressure. But that’s better from Arsenal, a return to the approach of the early exchanges, which caused Monaco so many problems.
8.03pm GMT
16 min: Kondogbia, down the left, curls a speculative ball towards the Arsenal box from deep. Berbatov, making good down the inside-right channel, battles with Gibbs and Koscielny to the right of the D. For a second he looks like breaking through, neither defender dealing with the situation. But the flag goes up. Offside? A foul for over-zealous contact? I’ll be straight with you, I’m not sure, but either decision would be kind to Arsenal. Monaco are getting a proper foothold in this, which will concern Arsene Wenger.
8.00pm GMT
15 min: Dirar takes a free kick, 40 yards out down the Monaco right. It’s swung dangerously into the box, which is full of blue shirts. However most of those shirts are offside, and Giroud, running backwards at speed, muscles his neck to head clear anyway.
7.59pm GMT
13 min: Toure, down the right, swings a delightful diagonal pass to Martial on the other wing. Martial is partial to a bit of box action, but can’t break into the area. He checks back and passes to Elderson, whose cross towards the far post for Berbatov is worse than useless. Monaco have settled a little bit now, though.
7.57pm GMT
11 min: Sanchez lumps a bouncing bomb down the inside-left channel for Ozil. Wallace comes across the player to bundle the ball out for a corner, though he does so using his right arm. That didn’t look particularly cynical, as the ball reared up at the defender... but Wallace did move his arm towards the ball, and you’ve seen them given. It’d have been as cheap as they come, mind you. Ozil makes the claim, but not with any particular enthusiasm. The resulting corner is a waste of time.
7.55pm GMT
9 min: Gibbs is a busy presence down the left. He nearly zips clear into the area, but has the ball stolen from him by Wallace. Then he’s looping a cross into the ball in the general direction of Welbeck, but Subasic comes to claim.
7.53pm GMT
8 min: Berbatov puts himself about down the left, winning the ball off a snoozy Bellerin. He lays off to Martial, and wants the ball back, quickly, as he’s in space down the wing. But Martial faffs around, and when he eventually dispatches the pass, Berbatov is offside, with steam coming out of each lug, and little parps from his nostrils too. A quicker ball and Arsenal would have been in a little trouble there.
7.52pm GMT
5 min: This is a bright and lively start by Arsenal. A raid down the left through Gibbs. His low cross is aimed for Welbeck in the middle, and Abdennour does extremely well to stick a leg out and hoick clear. But Arsenal are soon coming back down the same wing through Cazorla. He finds Welbeck with his cross, but only well past the far post. Welbeck recycles the ball to win a corner, though nothing comes of it. Monaco’s goal remains in tact, and Subasic hasn’t had a save to make yet, but there’s a sense that he’ll be having to do some sort of work soon. Impressive from the home side, who have come wheeching out of the blocks.
7.49pm GMT
3 min: Another long hoick down the channel, this time along the left by Koscielny. Giroud is after this one, but he doesn’t have the pace to burn off Wallace. “Nice pool,” agrees Charles Antaki. “But I bet you wouldn’t find Fabio Cannavaro risking jail by swimming in it. Actually it looks awful - no wonder Glenn and pal are fully clothed.”
7.48pm GMT
2 min: A simple, common-or-garden ball down the middle of the park by Gibbs. Welbeck spins Abdennour, to the right of the D, and breaks into the box! But he’s facing a fairly tight angle, and blooters the effort over the bar for three rugby points. Not much of an effort, really, but that’ll please Arsenal enough. Early signs that this makeshift Monaco defence won’t be quite as watertight as usual.
7.46pm GMT
And we’re off! Arsenal get the ball rolling, kicking towards... eh, I can never quite get my bearings. Drayton Park train station? Anyway, the ball’s stroked around the back awhile, all the defenders getting a first touch. “That picture!” splutters Simon McMahon. “It’s like Johnny and June at the lake house, isn’t it? A case of the green, green grass of home for Arsene and Arsenal tonight, but will they walk the line, or get busted?”
7.43pm GMT
The teams are out! A cracking atmosphere at Ashburton Grove, with the Uefa-commissioned bastardised version of this ...
7.22pm GMT
Let’s be polite and deal with the guests first. Monaco send Dimitar Berbatov out to lead their attack. He’s Monaco’s leading scorer this season with six goals. The exciting winger Yannick Ferreira-Carrasco - second in the French club’s scoring charts with four goals - sits on the bench, not considered fit enough to start. Monaco looking to keep it tight, then, as is their wont. They’re pretty good at it. As for Arsenal, Arsene Wenger’s gone gung-ho in search of a crucial win, naming Mesut Ozil, Alexis Sanchez, Santi Cazorla, Danny Welbeck and Olivier Giroud in his starting line-up. And a couple of defenders too!
7.07pm GMT
Arsenal: Ospina, Bellerin, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Gibbs, Coquelin, Cazorla, Sanchez, Ozil, Welbeck, Giroud.
Subs: Szczesny, Gabriel, Rosicky, Walcott, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Monreal, Chambers.
Monaco: Subasic, Toure, Wallace Santos, Abdennour, Echiejile, Dirar, Kondogbia, Fabinho, Joao Moutinho, Martial, Berbatov.
Subs: Stekelenburg, Kurzawa, Matheus Carvalho, Bernardo Silva, Carrasco, Alain Traore, Diallo.
6.30pm GMT
Arsene Wenger and Monaco meet again! The Arsenal boss made his managerial name at Monaco back in the day, 1987 to 1994 if we’re being precise. It quickly became apparent that Wenger had that Riviera touch: he guided the club to a league championship in 1988 after signing Glenn Hoddle, Mark Hateley and Patrick Battiston, and added a cup in 1991, George Weah the star man by then. A side featuring youthful versions of Emmanuel Petit, Youri Djorkaeff and Lilian Thuram reached the final of the 1992 Cup Winners Cup. The French national team and Bayern Munich came sniffing around, but Wenger stayed loyal. Much good it did him: he was sacked after a slow start to the 1994/95 season, with the club in 17th place.
Monaco sacked coach Arsene Wenger because of their poor start to the season - a sad reward for the loyalty exhibited by the coach.. Not only had Wenger been with the club seven years - winning both the French championship and the cup in that time - but earlier this year he had rejected offers to manage the French national team then top German club Bayern Munich. On both occasions Wenger said he felt it would be immoral to walk out on his contract. However, club president Jean-Louis Campora clearly was not in such an honourable mood, saying: “Because of the club’s situation and because of our recent results, I was left to put an end to Arsene Wenger’s functions.”
Continue reading...The Fiver: The Round of Arsenal and The Stadium of 16 | Scott Murray
The old European Cup, as was, would have gotten stale had the clever folk at Uefa not been the sort of creative, innovative, admirable go-getters who keep things moving forward all the time. All those clubs, big and small, building teams to win a national championship before embarking on a parlous campaign that hangs on a gossamer thread, in grave peril of ending at any given moment as a result of just one tiny mistake, players always working on the assumption that they only have one shot at glory (given the high barriers to entry and percentage chance of winning another league to qualify again) yet delivering under extreme pressure nonetheless? Well, all that had to go! Now, thanks to new improved Big Cup, the same clubs reach the same knockout stages year after year after year after year after year, achieving pretty much exactly the same thing, which in the majority of cases is sweet fanny all, though it doesn’t matter as they’ll be back again next time for another half-arsed pop and their cheque. Well done, Uefa! A radical and much-needed overhaul.
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