Scott Murray's Blog, page 163

The Fiver | Arch references to 1970s Thames Television talent shows

In today’s Fiver: Big Cup, an X Factor loser, and a trip to Candyfloss Land

It’s early April, and we’ve reached the business end of Big Cup. The quarter-finals! So that’ll be why everyone has been ignoring the likes of Leicester City all week, and banging on instead about Neymar’s form, Diego Godín’s hamstring, Kingsley Coman’s sore leg and Luisão’s broken arm, kidding themselves they’re sophisticated and intelligent with their open-minded internationalism, even though all they’re really doing is rehashing the lazy and myopic big-club focus of the 1980s by substituting ITV, Everton and Elton Welsby for BT Sport, Barcelona and Gary Lineker, and hoping nobody notices. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with this, of course; there are worse crimes. So long as we’re all honest with ourselves, and each other, about what we’re doing.

Continue reading...

England 1-2 Holland: International friendly – as it happened

England were impressive in attack, but not so good in defence, as a Dutch side in transition came from behind to record a spirit-boosting victory.

10.10pm BST

Related: England frustrated as Luciano Narsingh goal seals Holland’s comeback

9.56pm BST

Alli tries to magic something up with a burst into the Dutch box down the right, but runs the ball out of play. And that’s that. Or is it? A farcical end as Hodgson and Danny Blind shake hands on the touchline, only to realise the referee has added on another minute! But England can’t do anything with it. Holland have earned themselves the win with a fine comeback performance. A slight whiff of controversy about both of their goals, perhaps, but it’s only a friendly, and England can take comfort in their attacking play at least. Having said that, the high of Berlin only lasted approximately 70 hours. Ah well. Euro 2016, here they come! Something poor old Holland can’t say.

9.52pm BST

90 min +2: Barkley dribbles down the right, but his cross into the England box is too long. A final substitution by Holland: the excellent Janssen is replaced by Clasie.

9.51pm BST

90 min +1: There will be three added minutes. Jagielka hoofs long for Vardy, but there’s no accuracy on the ball.

9.50pm BST

90 min: Van Aanholt robs a dithering Alli in the midfield. He makes it all the way to the England area, thinks about shooting, then turns back. Holland happy to keep the ball themselves for a bit. The clock is their friend.

9.48pm BST

88 min: England are seeing a lot of the ball, but in their own half. Holland are happy to let them have it, sitting deep and keeping their shape.

9.46pm BST

86 min: The attack-minded Van Aanholt’s cross from the left is deflected out by Jagielka for a Dutch corner. Memphis sends it straight down Forster’s throat.

9.45pm BST

85 min: Drinkwater’s debut is over. He’s replaced by Dier.

9.45pm BST

84 min: Kane bustles down the right channel, turns the occasionally hapless Blind, and lashes a fierce shot inches wide of the right-hand post. Zoet might have had that covered, but you wouldn’t put large amounts of cash on it. Kane really is a force of nature. A superstar in the making. One already, perhaps?

9.43pm BST

82 min: To great cheers, the new golden boy Alli is sent on. The captain Milner departs, giving his armband to Jagielka. Perhaps it’ll help him with issues of balance. Holland make a change too, switching Willems for Van Aanholt.

9.41pm BST

81 min: Wembley is in a hot funk. A quiet seethe, rather than a rolling boil. It is only a friendly, after all.

9.41pm BST

79 min: That was Bazoer’s last act of the evening. He’s replaced by Van Ginkel. England are livid about that second Dutch goal, suggesting Jagielka was unfairly sent crashing to the ground. It was a fierce shoulder charge all right, and you’ve seen fouls given for that. But the bottom line was, Jagielka was passive, while Janssen really wanted it. You can see why fortune favoured the brave.

9.39pm BST

Bazoer slides a ball down the inside-left channel for Janssen, who strongly shoulder-charges Jagielka off the ball and reaches the byline. He’s got time to look up and think. He pulls the ball back to Narsingh, coming in from the right. Narsingh batters the ball into the net, no fuss.

9.36pm BST

76 min: Walker pulls Memphis back by the shoulder as the Manchester United winger threatens to break into a lot of space down the left. A free kick, which is looped into the England box to no effect.

9.35pm BST

74 min: This Zoet doesn’t mind coming off his line. He’s fond of making brave decisions. Walker makes good down the right and looks to be dropping a cross on Vardy’s head, 12 yards out. But the keeper races out to fingertip clear. A great last-ditch save. Vardy would have been powering that goalwards had the keeper not intervened.

9.33pm BST

73 min: It nearly gets it, thanks to that man Kane, who is released down the right by a clever slipped pass from Milner, and earns a corner. The set piece drops to his feet, ten yards out, just to the left of goal, but he can’t sort himself out quickly enough to get a shot off.

9.32pm BST

72 min: Afellay is penalised for contesting a 50-50 with Barkley in the high-kickin’ style. A chance to load the box, but Milner’s free kick isn’t all that. This game needs a boost.

9.30pm BST

70 min: Another couple of changes by England: Kane and Jagielka come on for Lallana and Smalling.

9.29pm BST

69 min: Walcott chases after a long hoof down the middle. He enters the area, and falls to ground, having been gently clipped by Willems. He wants a penalty for that, but he’s not getting one. It would have been a generous decision.

9.28pm BST

67 min: A brilliant solo effort by Walcott who, tight on the right, spins suddenly and turns Willems with ease. He scampers off towards the box, then sends a rising effort inches over the bar. Zoet probably had that covered, and Lallana was offering himself in the middle, but Walcott was entitled to take that on himself, having carved the chance out of nothing. It wasn’t a bad effort at all.

9.26pm BST

65 min: Holland calm it down a bit, passing it around the back for a while. That’s understandable enough, as England had worked up a small head of steam there.

9.24pm BST

63 min: Stones has been fairly hapless in defence tonight, but he certainly looks the business coming forward. He Beckenbauers his way upfield and slips a pass down the inside-right channel to release Walcott into the area. Walcott gets a shot away, though it’s blocked out for a corner by a last-ditch Blind challenge. Once again. Zoet plucks that from the sky. England look exciting going forward, not so clever at the back. Are we sure this is a Roy Hodgson side?

9.22pm BST

61 min: Vardy has the ball, the best part of 30 yards from goal. He’s got nothing on, so decides to send a rising heatseeker towards the top right. It’s flying in, but fingertipped over the bar by Zoet, who then claims the resulting corner with ease. What a shot by Vardy, though, and a marvellous save to boot.

9.20pm BST

59 min: England load the box. Milner floats the free kick in from the right, looking for Smalling just to the left of goal. But the delivery is a nonsense. England come again, though, with Lallana and Walcott causing bother down the left. The ball breaks inside for Clyne, who crashes a woeful volley several miles over the bar. That’ll have the roundel outside Wembley Park spinning on its pole.

9.18pm BST

58 min: Bruma is rightly booked for bringing down Vardy as the striker looks to break down the right. Before the free kick can be taken, Sturridge and Rose are substituted in favour of Walcott and Clyne.

9.17pm BST

56 min: England’s best form of defence is attack. They instigate a bit of head tennis in the Dutch area. Bruma eventually clears. Then Barkley glides down the left before whipping a deep cross in for Sturridge. Zoet is well off his line to claim.

9.15pm BST

54 min: England are beginning to look ropey at the back again. Forster is hounded by Memphis as he tries to kick clear. He only just about manages it. Soon after, Memphis is coming down the left wing and nearly finds Janssen ten yards out with a fine cross, but Drinkwater heads clear. Only to Bazoer, though, who shoots hard through a thicket of players from the edge of the box. Forster struggles to claim, the ball having taken a deflection off Drinkwater’s arm - no penalty for that one - but he smothers it eventually.

9.13pm BST

53 min: Sturridge again troubles Blind down the right. He feeds Milner, who reaches the byline and stands one up towards Vardy at the far post. Vardy is preparing to but home, but Veltman rises to eyebrow it away from danger.

9.12pm BST

Janssen clips it confidently into the top left, sending Forster the wrong way. A perfect penalty. On the England bench, Roy Hodgson is ranting like an alfresco beverage consumer. He is not happy.

9.11pm BST

50 min: Stones faffs around once too often, slips, and he’s robbed by Janssen, who is one on one. He shoots towards the bottom right. Forster parries brilliantly. But much good the keeper’s heroics do for England. Narsingh picks up possession on the right, and crosses. Rose’s hand is dangling, and the ball strikes it. Penalty. Not all refs would give it, but you can see why this one has.

9.09pm BST

49 min: A Gazza-esque power dribble from the centre circle to the edge of the Dutch D by Barkley. He lays off to Lallana to his left. Lallana tries to curl one into the top right, but it’s high and wide.

9.07pm BST

47 min: Holland have come out on the front foot. Wijnaldum and Narsingh combine crisply down the right, but Rose and Stone combine to snuff them out. And then England respond through Sturridge, who takes possession of a throw from the right, spins Blind in the box, and fires towards the bottom-right corner. There’s no heat on the shot, which suits Zoet.

9.05pm BST

Holland get the ball rolling for the second half. No changes. Yet. “If we win tonight I’ll be Breaking into Heaven, tomorrow Driving South to work it’ll be a Ten Storey Love Song before Daybreak and England, your Star Will Shine. But Vardy, please don’t shoot Straight To The Man, I’m Begging You to hit the net, we’re walking a Tightrope here. Gimme some Good Times and fewer Tears. Oh How Do You Sleep knowing you could make so many people happy and watch how Love Spreads.” Howard Appleby there, track by track and in the right order. Led Zeppelin III has an awful lot to answer for.

8.55pm BST

Half-time entertainment of an international flavour: Just in case you missed it over Easter weekend, here’s the story of the great Bjarni Fel, the man who introduced top-quality football to generations of Icelandic fans. If Iceland do a Denmark or Greece this summer, you’ll know who to thank.

Related: Bjarni Fel: the legend who brought football to warm the heart of Iceland

8.51pm BST

The free kick comes to nothing, headed clear with ease by Walker, and that’s that for the opening 45. Jamie Vardy’s second international goal is the difference. Make sure you stay for the second half. No flipping, as another recently departed legend once said.

8.48pm BST

45 min: Milner needlessly controls the ball with his arm in the midfield. That’s a free kick, and a chance for Holland to pack the box and cause some bother in the one minute that’ll be added onto the end of this half.

8.47pm BST

43 min: That goal came out of nowhere. Up to that point, both teams were lucky to have nil.

8.45pm BST

This is a brilliant move. Stones sends Milner away down the left. He slides a pass across the front of the box. Sturridge shapes to shoot but dummies for Lallana, who feeds the ball down the inside-right channel for Walker, steaming in. Walker could shoot from a tight angle - he is one on one with Zoet after all - but he slips an unselfish pass to his left for Vardy to powerfully sidefoot home from ten yards. That was very easy on the eye. Johan Cruyff would have approved.

8.42pm BST

38 min: Promes can’t continue. He’s replaced by Manchester United botherer Luciano Narsingh. After the restart, Barkley picks up pace down the inside-right channel and sends a low curling screamer inches wide of the right-hand post. Not sure Zoet was getting to that had it been on target.

8.40pm BST

36 min: Quite a lot of pointless noodling right now. It’s like the second half of Second Coming. “I know we’re playing Holland, and the recognition to Johan Cruyff is well-deserved, but does England have to play like a Louis Van Gaal tribute band?” wonders Hubert O’Hearn. “I miss the Spurs players that gave us so much life in Berlin.”

8.37pm BST

33 min: ... the ball drops to Stones on the edge of the box. This time, up the other end of the pitch, he does put his foot through it. His shot is spearing towards the bottom right, and it’d have gone in were it not for Janssen, guarding the line and hacking away. Much better from England!

8.36pm BST

32 min: Rose is beginning to look busy down the left. He exchanges passes with Lallana and then Milner, before reaching the byline and pulling back for Sturridge, whose first-time shot is deflected to the right wing. Barkley earns a corner with a lovely jink down the line. And from that ...

8.34pm BST

30 min: Afellay scampers after a long ball down the left, and gets there ahead of Walker, but his low cross, looking for Memphis, is weak and straight at Stones. The ball-playing defender faffs around in the grand style, and is nearly closed down by Wijnaldum, but eventually clears his lines. Put your foot through it, man! Can anybody spot the influence of Bobby Martinez?

8.32pm BST

28 min: Rose powers down the left, and one-twos with Vardy to make ground. He then returns the ball to Vardy, on the edge of the area. The striker takes a touch to enter the Dutch area, but slashes across the ball and sends it sailing harmlessly over the bar, wide left to boot. But that’s better from England, who have been very clumpish in attack so far. A much-needed injection of pace and determination.

8.30pm BST

26 min: Lallana should clear a simple ball down the Dutch left, but slides towards the ball in the half-arsed fashion. He allows Wijnaldum to stride down the channel and curl one towards the top right. Forster, at full stretch, palms round for a corner. There’s a mild kerfuffle at the set piece, and for a second it looks like the ball might fall to Janssen on the penalty spot, but Smalling blooters clear with extreme prejudice, and the danger is over.

8.28pm BST

23 min: Lallana tries to find Rose down the left with one of the most ambitious backflicks of all time. Rose really has to put the jets on to reach it, but Veltman is never going to be beaten, and guides the ball out of play. This match has turned a little turgid, and the Wembley crowd have fallen quiet. You know something’s wrong when you’re pleased to hear a little injection of atmosphere from that effing brass band.

8.25pm BST

21 min: Promes is down, having twisted his knee. It looks as though he’ll be OK to continue, but it’s another frustrating stop to a game which keeps threatening to burst into life, but never quite manages it.

8.24pm BST

18 min: Drinkwater, wide on the left, attempts to release his Leicester team-mate Vardy on the right with a raking diagonal pass. It’s one of those Hollywood efforts, straight into the stand. “I think the point is that youthful, positive, exciting and attractive England just Wanna be Adored. Or possibly that half of their back four just wanna be a forward, I’m not sure.” Robin Hazelhurst there, honking away like Ian Brown at Reading ‘96.

8.20pm BST

16 min: A burst of pace down the right, of great promise by Promes, and Rose, slightly dozy so far tonight, is left behind. Promes feeds the ball inside for Janssen, who looks for the bottom left from a central position, 20 yards out. Forster is behind it all the way. A nice, flowing move by the Dutch.

8.18pm BST

14 min: Wembley rises as one to applaud the memory of the greatest Dutchman of all, that famous No14, Johan Cruyff. He was a magnificently contrary chap, so what better way to remember him ourselves by recalling his scoring of the world’s only Total Own Goal (1m 01s here). As you’d expect, it’s a thing of absurd beauty, the ball chested down and sent sailing serenely into the top corner with one insouciant flick of the boot. The greatest mistake ever? Yes. There’s a good chance he was secretly pleased with it. Damn, he’ll be missed.

8.16pm BST

13 min: A lot of midfield faffing. This game could do with a genius. Speaking of which ...

8.14pm BST

11 min: A long throw from the Dutch left, and Memphis is latching onto a loose ball on the left-hand corner of the England area. He turns and whips a shot over the crossbar. It was never troubling Forster, but England are asking for trouble if they keep sleepwalking around at the back like this. Milner was in another world.

8.13pm BST

9 min: Sturridge stays down for over a minute. Liverpool fans cool your boots, for the man is only fixing his. But there goes all that early end-to-end momentum! Tum-te-tum. “The sight of Stones, Rose gives the England line-up a touch of Manchester ‘89,” opines the top and bangin’

Shane Meadows
Peter Oh. “It’ll be interesting to see tonight if the impressive performance against Germany was the real thing, or Fools Gold.”

8.11pm BST

7 min: Sturridge strokes a ball down the right for the livewire Vardy to chase. For a second, it looks like Vardy will win a footrace with Bruma. He’d have been one on one with the keeper Zoet if he did, but Bruma slides in to nip the ball away for a corner. The set piece comes to naught. It’s got a nice, open feel, this game.

8.10pm BST

6 min: Veltman drops a shoulder and zips past Rose on the right. He enters the box. Rose, trying to make good his mistake, slides in and catches his man, who goes down. The ball flies out of play, and the referee points for a goal kick. England got away with one there.

8.08pm BST

4 min: Smalling plays a hospital ball back to Forster, who in a panic can only hack upfield 20 yards or so. Drinkwater’s first act as an international footballer is to concede a foul, with Memphis threatening to pick up the loose ball and make off towards the box. The resulting set piece comes to nothing, but that’s a nervous start at the back for England.

8.06pm BST

3 min: Milner, the captain tonight, whips the ball set piece straight out of play. The only way is up.

8.06pm BST

2 min: Vardy turns on the jets to zip into space down the right. He earns a corner.

8.04pm BST

After an immaculately observed moment’s silence, England get the ball rolling. A large cheer of relief, and we’re underway. It’s not long before Rose tries to burst down the left wing, but he runs out of space quickly enough and the ball balloons out of play.

8.01pm BST

The teams are out! England are wearing their famous white shirts, while the Oranje are playing in second-choice blue. No, me neither. Both sets of players are wearing black armbands in honour of Cruyff, and there will be a minute’s silence for the victims of the recent terrorist atrocities in Brussels and Lahore. Pink ribbons are also on display in awareness of Breast Cancer Care. There’s respect for both national anthems, with Wembley understandably pensive.

7.38pm BST

Speaking of that famous 4-1 ... The story of that glorious day at Wembley is told here by the fabulous Michael Gibbons. His book When Football Came Home: England, the English and Euro 96 is certain to induce a Proustian rush in anyone aged 35 or over. A must-read.

Related: When football came home: England’s rapture against Holland at Euro 96

7.36pm BST

The Dutch aren’t in the best nick. They lost 3-2 at home to France last Friday, on an emotional night in Amsterdam overshadowed by the death of Cruyff. That was their fourth loss in six matches this season, and their fifth in the last year, a run which includes defeats by the USA, Iceland, Turkey and the Czech Republic. They’ve shipped eight goals in their last three matches, and all they’ve got to look forward to this summer is a series of friendlies in early June, helping other countries prepare for Euro 2016. The Oranje are, of course, not going.

On the flip side, Holland have lost just one of their last 12 matches against England, that famous 4-1 tonking at Euro 96. They’re undefeated in six, and last time they came here, in February 2012, they ran out 3-2 winners. So goodness knows how confident they’ll feel tonight. It’s going to be fun finding out.

7.24pm BST

England: Forster, Walker, Smalling, Stones, Rose, Milner, Drinkwater, Vardy, Barkley, Lallana, Sturridge.
Subs: Clyne, Heaton, Walcott, Cahill, Jagielka, Henderson, Dier, Kane, Alli, Welbeck.

Holland: Zoet, Veltman, Bruma, Blind, Willems, Wijnaldum, Bazoer, Afellay, Depay, Janssen, Promes.
Subs: Vermeer, Karsdorp, van Dijk, Van Aanholt, Clasie, Narsingh, van Ginkel, Huntelaar, de Jong, Letschert, Vorm.

7.17pm BST

Eight lions. Leicester midfielder Danny Drinkwater will win his first England cap at the age of 26 tonight, as Roy Hodgson makes eight changes to the team that saw off Transitional German Collective at the weekend. Daniel Sturridge returns to international football after a gap of 573 days, and will be captained by his Liverpool team-mate James Milner. Fraser Forster of Southampton starts in goal, Joe Hart and then Jack Butland having succumbed to injury. Kyle Walker of Spurs, John Stones and Ross Barkley of Everton, and Leicester City whirling dervish Jamie Vardy also start.

7.05pm BST

Style guide:

10.21am BST

Germany 2, England 3. Well, that went better than expected, didn’t it.

On to the Netherlands, then. A country still reeling from the death of their greatest star, Johan Cryuff. who passed away last week. Cruyff faced England three times. He was one of Holland’s better players in a 0-1 home defeat against the reigning world champions in November 1969. He was fairly anonymous in a dismal 0-0 draw at Wembley three months later, though our man Albert Barham noted that “the Dutch passing was far superior to that of England”, a harbinger of things to come. So far, so humdrum. But then there was February 1977 at Wembley.

Continue reading...

The hope that leads to despair when the hope is predictably extinguished in the summer

In today’s Fiver, the Federal Republic of Holland, the Netherlands & the Dutch, Andrei Kanchelskis and a surefire way to get sacked

It’s that point in the two-year international cycle where England register the unexpectedly impressive win that generates the hope that leads to the despair when the hope is predictably extinguished in the summer. On Saturday evening, several unfamiliar chancers purporting to be the world champions Germany were swatted aside majestically in Berlin. As a result, everyone’s pretending not to lose the run of themselves. But they are losing the run of themselves, aren’t they. You can just tell. Can’t you tell? The Fiver can tell. We can smell it on the breeze.

Continue reading...

Bjarni Fel: the legend who brought football to warm the heart of Iceland

The former player and commentator is the instantly recognisable face of English football in Iceland and a national treasure who set them on the path to Euro 2016

Icelandic football has come an awfully long way since the national team contested its first official fixture in 1946. For a couple of decades after that 3-0 defeat in Reykjavik against Denmark, Iceland were beyond ordinary. So much so that Fifa refused to let them even attempt to qualify for the 1954 World Cup. When they were finally allowed a go, four years later, they shipped eight goals in France, then another eight three days later in Belgium. In a 1967 friendly in Copenhagen, their old foes the Danes beat them 14-2.

(Some good has come of this. A brewery in Reykjavik produces a commemorative white stout called 2-14. Aromas of anise, vanilla and coffee; 6.5% ABV; drink to forget.)

Related: Iceland reach Euro 2016 but Lars Lagerback insists: ‘Nelson Mandela is a hero, I am not’

Continue reading...

Wales v Northern Ireland and more: international football clockwatch – as it happened

A late Simon Church penalty denied Northern Ireland in Cardiff, while the Scots won in Prague.

9.45pm GMT

So let’s wrap up with a run-down of today’s European friendly results:

Czech Republic 0-1 Scotland
Denmark 2-1 Iceland
Estonia 0-0 Norway
Greece 2-1 Montenegro
Italy 1-1 Spain
Malta 0-0 Moldova
Turkey 2-1 Sweden
Ukraine 1-0 Cyprus
Wales 1-1 Northern Ireland

9.42pm GMT

And the re-run of the Euro 2012 final ends in a draw.

9.42pm GMT

And the Scots win in Prague thanks to Anya’s early goal! Rather disgracefully, J “I’ll eat my hat” R in Illinois is pretending not to have read the second half entries just after 9.10pm UK time. “Thank you for not taking up my offer for you to suggest an item of my apparel for me to eat. It’s too late now so I hereby rescind my offer.” For shame, JR, for shame!

9.38pm GMT

So Northern Ireland still haven’t beaten Wales since May 1980, when Noel Brotherston of Blackburn Rovers won the game for them. But once the disappointment of that late equaliser eases off, they’ll be happy enough. They looked very tidy for the most part tonight, absorbing all sorts of Welsh pressure with ease, and occasionally looking dangerous on the break. They’ve now gone eight games, and a whole calendar year, unbeaten. Wales meanwhile have avoided losing three matches in a row.

9.34pm GMT

Wheech! Into the top left it goes! Wales draw level at the death. What a preposterous challenge by McAuley that was, though. Church was going nowhere.

9.32pm GMT

89 min: Church goes skittering down the inside-right channel. McAuley slides in from the left, and that’s a no-brainer for the referee! Church gets up and prepares to take the spot kick himself.

9.28pm GMT

85 min: Northern Ireland look calm and compact. They give the distinct impression of knowing exactly what they’re doing. Church thought he’d have a free header at goal from six yards, but the Irish back four pushed up in a manner which would make late 1980s Arsenal feel all warm and bouncy inside. Up goes the flag. “So the Czech Republic are thrashing Scotland 0-1, are they?” writes Simon McMahon. “Eat my shorts, JR in Illinois.”

9.24pm GMT

80 min: This game in Cardiff has been a load of bitty nonsense. It’s getting the MBM it deserves.

9.22pm GMT

But the reigning European champions come straight back at Italy. For a while this friendly was shaping up to be as big an anti-climax as the Euro 2012 final. But no more.

9.20pm GMT

A sickener for the Spanish.

9.12pm GMT

Northern Ireland’s dander is up, and Wales are looking scrappy. The Irish are on a seven-game unbeaten run, looking to make it eight. They’ve got a fair chance of that now. The last team to beat the Irish? Scotland, almost a year ago to the day, at Hampden. Christophe Berra did for them with a late header. The Scots, incidentally, are still winning in Prague. About 40 minutes ago, JR in Illinois wrote: “If the Czech Republic doesn’t score I’ll eat an article of my clothing of your choice.” We never did take him up on that. No need to get the knife and fork out yet, but just in case the Scots hold on: JR, do you have a large-brimmed, iconic, easy-to-digest hat?

9.04pm GMT

The visitors go direct, and show Wales how it’s done. A corner won down the right. The ball’s rolled back to McNair, deep on that wing, and he swings a fine cross to the far post. It’s half cleared by Chester. Lawrence is beaten to the dropping ball by Cathcart, who swivels on the penalty spot and lashes a low shot into the bottom right!

9.02pm GMT

58 min: Still raining in Cardiff, where it’s all Wales at the moment. But they’re going nowhere, a lot of faffing around in the middle to little effect. Ashley Williams storms forward in an attempt to shake things up. But nothing happens.

8.58pm GMT

We’re under no obligation to talk this stuff up.

8.56pm GMT

50 min: A little bit of action in Cardiff! Kyle Lafferty bursts into the Welsh area down the left, and looks to curl one into the top right. It’s a decent, powerful effort, but parried into the air and gathered calmly by Welsh substitute keeper Danny Ward, formerly of Aberdeen and now waiting for Jurgen Klopp to lose patience with Simon Mignolet at Liverpool.

8.54pm GMT

Yes, too little, too late for Iceland. They still haven’t beaten the Danes, who did for Iceland in their first-ever official international back in 1946. On the flip side, Iceland are going to France this summer, and the Danes are not. So it’s swings and roundabouts.

8.51pm GMT

Too little, too late for Iceland? The young Norrköping midfielder grabs what is almost certainly a late consolation.

8.49pm GMT

A better night for Turkey than Euro 2016 Group D rivals Czech Republic. So far. Only Scotland can bring them down from this high.

8.36pm GMT

Half time in Cardiff: Wales 0-0 Northern Ireland. It’s still raining in Cardiff. “The Spanish kit is not necessarily vomit or design induced,” argues Dave Manby, “just someone threw pizzas at them.” Incidentally, here’s tonight’s Spain starting XI: De Gea, Juanfran, Pique, Sergio Ramos, Azpilicueta, San Jose, ☛☛☛Fabregas☚☚☚, Thiago, Mata, Morata, Aduriz.

8.31pm GMT

But not for long.

8.31pm GMT

Sweden are back in it!

8.30pm GMT

41 min: Nothing is going on in Wales. So refreshing to be sort of writing a MBM, but not really writing one at all. “Don’t be deceived by the Czech Republic-Scotland scoreline; the Czech’s are literally all over Scotland,” writes JR in Illinois. “McGregor must have five or six saves already. If the Czech Republic doesn’t score I’ll eat an article of my clothing of your choice. And to think how worried I was that Scotland was going to snag that third place spot in the Euro qualifiers away from Ireland. To be fair they were in the pole position there for a little bit but they’re looking very nondescript right now. (And if you want to talk about kits, Scotland is sporting an awful, putrid pink number.)”

He’s right, readers: here’s McGregor making a save at full stretch. But that shirt’s quite nice. Isn’t it? It’s an improvement on the tartan home kit, that much is surely true.

8.22pm GMT

A second goal for the Copenhagen striker. A historic first win for Iceland in this fixture looks very unlikely now. Unfortunately for them, Martin Skrtel isn’t Danish.

8.19pm GMT

The red fury. Spain are playing in Italy tonight. No goals yet, but in lieu of action, here’s Charles Antaki: “Have just seen Spain’s new away kit. From a distance it looks like a splurge of orangey-red on a white shirt. In close up it looks alarmingly but unmistakably like vomit. Either they’ve all overindulged in dodgy chorizo or something has gone badly, badly wrong in the design department.”

8.12pm GMT

So right now, it looks as though Iceland’s sorry record against Denmark is set to continue. But look on the bright side: there’s plenty of time to respond to this opener, and it’s very unlikely that this match will end in another 14-2 defeat.

8.10pm GMT

23 min: McNair, the best part of 35 yards out, attempts to send a rising heatseeker into the top right. High and wide, but not so far away that it deserves the mockery of the BBC Wales commentary team. Nothing wrong with a bit of ambition and experimentation, chaps.

8.09pm GMT

21 min: Northern Ireland keeper McGovern is forced into a save in Cardiff. Cotterill, 25 yards out on the right, threads a low shot through a thicket of people, looking for the bottom-left corner. It nearly worms its way in, but McGovern’s strong palm turns the ball round for a corner. From the set piece, Cotterill gets involved on the other wing, attempting a curler into the top right. Not quite. But not bad either.

8.06pm GMT

No, I didn’t really think this formatting through, did I. But we’re stuck with it now. Greece are finally beginning to reap the rewards of all the groundwork laid back in 2014 by Claudio Ranieri. That’s right, isn’t it.

8.04pm GMT

Not much going on in Wales at the moment. A half-chance for Ledley, who spurned an opportunity to shoot from the left of the D. But never mind that! Because look at this scoreline!

8.02pm GMT

News of the Denmark-Iceland match. “This friendly has a little bit more riding on it than the others,” writes Kári Tulinius. “For context, Iceland is a former colony of Denmark. And Iceland has never beaten its former colonial master in 22 games, losing 18 times. This might just be a world record in terms of an unbeaten run by one international team against another, especially given that it stretches back to 1946. Currently it’s 0-0 at halftime.”

That run of course includes this 14-2 battering in 1967 ...

7.54pm GMT

7 min: The first corner of the evening for Northern Ireland. Swung in from the right, it lands on the head of Evans, standing on the penalty spot. But he’s also very nearly standing on Chester’s shoulders, and the whistle goes for a foul.

7.52pm GMT

Yes, this is going to get confusing, isn’t it. But we’re in too deep. As George Costanza once said of his new smoking habit: can’t stop now!

7.50pm GMT

2 min: Wales have started brightly down this right wing. Now Gunter earns himself a yard and curls powerfully towards the near post. Vokes isn’t going to make the same mistake twice, and he’s made a run this time. But he sends a close-range header wide right.

7.49pm GMT

50 secs: What a start for young George Williams! He makes good down the right and loops a gorgeous long cross towards the far post. If Vokes had gambled on a run, he’d have had a tap-in. But he didn’t. You’ll not see as good a cross all year.

7.47pm GMT

The hosts get the ball rolling, and knock it around the back awhile. Matthews goes off on a sprint down the left, but he’s bundled off the ball soon enough. A rare old atmosphere in Cardiff.

7.46pm GMT

That minute, though, is one of sombre reflection. The Cardiff City Stadium falls silent in memory of the souls who perished in the atrocity visited upon Brussels this week. A Belgian flag unfurled in the centre circle; a moment’s silence perfectly observed.

7.42pm GMT

The teams are out in Cardiff! It is tipping down. God Save the Queen gets the bird. Does anybody like it? No. Then a belting rendition of Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau, which as you’d imagine is quite a bit more popular. We’ll be off in a minute!

7.39pm GMT

Chris Coleman speaks! “Some young boys are in there today. Ideally we’ll give everyone some time on the pitch. Obviously we’re missing quite a few, but it gives us a chance to have a look at others. A tough game tonight, but we’re looking forward to it.”

As does Michael O’Neill! “We want to get some consistency in the team, so only two changes. We’re happy with our line-up.”

7.30pm GMT

Wales: Hennessey, Gunter, Matthews, Chester, Ashley Williams, Cotterill, Ledley, Vaughan, Lawrence, Vokes, George Williams.
Subs: Fon Williams, Crofts, Isgrove, Henley, Richards, Allen, MacDonald, Church, Jonathan Williams, Huws, Taylor, Ward.

Northern Ireland: McGovern, Cathcart, McNair, McLaughlin, McAuley, Jonny Evans, Davis, Dallas, Norwood, Washington, K Lafferty.
Subs: Carroll, D Lafferty, McCullough, McGinn, McKay, Ferguson, Hodson, Paton, Hughes, Ward, Smith, Carson.

7.26pm GMT

It was only a matter of time.

7.26pm GMT

The goals are flying in now.

7.25pm GMT

And now the big team news from Cardiff, where Wales will be taking on Northern Ireland. There’s no Gareth Bale or Aaron Ramsey for the Welsh, both players out injured with Ryan’s Syndrome. Sam Vokes of Burnley will be the focal point of their attack; he’s scored 10 in the last 14 for his club. The 20-year-old Gillingham winger George Williams also gets a run out.

Northern Ireland meanwhile hand Conor Washington of QPR a debut. He’ll line up in attack alongside Kyle Lafferty, now of Birmingham City, for whom it’s hoped he’ll actually get a game or two before Euro 2016 comes round.

7.19pm GMT

... worth the wait, huh.

7.18pm GMT

We have lift-off! And like London buses ...

7.09pm GMT

News of the Scotland team to face the Czechs in Prague. Aberdeen midfielder Kenny McLean makes his debut, Fulham forward Ross McCormack leads the line, Robert Snodgrass is back after long-term knee-knack, and Alan Hutton makes his 50th appearance for his country. Alan Hutton. Fifty caps. Alan Hansen only ever played 26 times.

6.57pm GMT

The Only Way Is Up dept. So two European friendlies have been completed already today. This afternoon’s kick-off, Malta versus Moldova, ended goalless. Just finished: Estonia versus Norway, which also ended goalless. Greece versus Montenegro kicked off at 6pm GMT; that’s goalless at half time. And it’s currently goalless between Turkey and Sweden too, though to be fair that one hasn’t been going for much more than ten minutes. Breaking news, crashing over your head like a wave.

5.32pm GMT

Total football? Bloody hell. It’s been an awfully difficult day, with the heartbreaking passing of Johan Cruyff dominating everyone’s thoughts. But the show must go on, as the great man himself decided when Ajax told him he was too old to continue playing in 1983. Cruyff performed a majestic flounce, joined bitter rivals Feyenoord, and sashayed his way to a gloriously spiteful league-and-cup double. Marvellous. The most deliberately contrary act of a life packed full of them? Perhaps!

Though the world’s only Total Own Goal (1m 01s here) runs it close. It’s hard not to suspect his in-built attacking genius momentarily took over, as he chested the ball down and sent it sailing serenely into the top-left corner of the net with an insouciant flick. The greatest own goal ever? Yes. There’s a good chance he was secretly pleased with it.

Continue reading...

What is a Cruyff Turn?

The legendary Dutch footballer Johan Cruyff has died at home in Barcelona, aged 68. He was famous for leading Holland to the 1974 World Cup final, as a player for Ajax and as a manager at Barcelona, but most of all for the Cruyff Turn, a deceptive about-face which left many defenders bewildered. Find out how he performed his signature manoeuvre, and share your own Cruyff Turn tributes here

Continue reading...

Manchester United 1-1 Liverpool (agg 1-3): Europa League – as it happened

United came at Liverpool and had the momentum, but Phillipe Coutinho’s timely solo effort took the wind from their sails, and Jurgen Klopp’s side progress to the quarter finals

Read Daniel Taylor’s match report from Old TraffordJamie Jackson: Manchester United at least restore some pride

10.27pm GMT

Read Daniel Taylor’s match report:

Related: Liverpool’s Philippe Coutinho sends Manchester United out of Europa League

Related: Manchester United at least restore some pride but Liverpool go through | Jamie Jackson

9.58pm GMT

And that’s that. Liverpool are through to the quarter finals of the Europa League at the expense of their great north-west rivals. A broad smile on Jurgen Klopp’s face, and a big hug for Philippe Coutinho, whose moment of brilliance just before half time tipped the balance decisively in Liverpool’s favour. The right result over two legs, though United gave it a real go tonight. But Liverpool were too resolute in defence. You’ll Never Walk Alone rings round Old Trafford. United’s fans go home to contemplate their first defeat by English opposition in Europe. A lot rests on the West Ham cup replay for Louis van Gaal now.

9.56pm GMT

90 min +1: In the first of two added minutes, Origi dances around down the left, and hammers straight at De Gea again. De Gea fumbles, but the loose ball somehow evades Allen, rushing in.

9.55pm GMT

90 min: A high ball pumped down the middle into the United half. A cheeky backflick by Benteke releases Origi into space. He tears towards the United box before lashing a shot straight at De Gea.

9.53pm GMT

89 min: Ryan Giggs has made his way down to the touchline, making a point of looking miserable. A political play, perhaps.

9.53pm GMT

88 min: Mata tries to spring Rashford clear down the inside left, but his pass spins forward off the turf and out for a goal kick.

9.52pm GMT

87 min: Blind and De Gea faff around at the back. The clock’s ticking away here, lads! Blind then plays an appalling ball up the left flank, straight to Lallana, who sends it back towards him. The ball deflects out for a corner, which comes to naught, but Liverpool are another minute towards victory in this tie.

9.50pm GMT

86 min: ... there’s a bit of pinball, and then Lingard, from 25 yards, sends a daisycutter well wide right.

9.49pm GMT

85 min: Firmino is replaced by Benteke. The away section is making plenty of noise. One goal would change the atmosphere. And there’s a surge in noise as Valencia makes his way down the right, crosses, and sees the ball clank off Milner’s elbow and out for a corner. From which ...

9.48pm GMT

83 min: Lingard trots at speed down the inside-right channel. He tries to nick the ball away, but only succeeds in bringing his man down. A free kick, 30 yards from goal, and a booking. Schweinsteiger swings it in. Sakho heads clear (pt XXXVIII). Blind tries to return it with a spectacular volley, but this one’s into the top left of the Stretford End. Meanwhile here’s Russell Richardson again: “Andy Diagram (trumpet and arrangements, also of James and the mighty Spaceheads) is most def (adopted) Manc. So does that make Pale Fountains a rare example of Scouse/Manc fusion? A bit like Macca with Scholsey on BT Sport?”

9.45pm GMT

81 min: Coutinho goes for the top left, but blasts it miles over the bar. He’s had a very mixed evening. On the whole, he’s had a poor game, wasting quite a few decent chances. But then that goal, that goal ...

9.44pm GMT

80 min: Lallana races towards the United box, cocking his leg back to shoot. On the edge of the D, he’s hacked down in gloriously cynical style by Schweinsteiger, who takes his booking. A free kick in a very dangerous position.

9.43pm GMT

78 min: Lallana slides a pass in from the left for Coutinho, who hits a rising shot from the edge of the D. It’s straight at De Gea once again, though. The keeper’s forced to tip this one over the bar. From the corner, Firmino gets a yard down the inside right and hits across De Gea towards the bottom left. De Gea saves brilliantly, and anyway that yard was the one that put him offside.

9.42pm GMT

76 min: A chance for Rashford to make it into the Liverpool six-yard box, breaking down the left channel past a flat-footed Clyne. But a heavy touch clanks the ball out of play for a goal kick. Time is beginning to run out for United now, who need something quickly if they’re to plant a few seeds of doubt in Liverpool minds.

9.41pm GMT

75 min: If it’s not over quite yet, Coutinho should have put it to bed. Can made ground into the United box down the left and pulled the ball back for Coutinho, who dropped a shoulder to find himself with only Smalling and De Gea to beat. A poor shot goes through Smalling, but it’s straight at De Gea. A few inches either side, and that was that.

9.39pm GMT

74 min: Still all United. But still Liverpool hold their shape. Meanwhile an important correction and clarification by David Reynolds: “The Paleys are Scouse not Manc. Mick Head is an undisputed genius.”

9.37pm GMT

72 min: Rashford and Valencia combine crisply down the right, the latter reaching the byline and pulling back for Fellaini, who leans back and converts in the rugby style. The home fans aren’t happy with him. He’s getting in all the right places, to be fair. If this keeps happening, you’d think he’ll get it right sooner rather than later.

9.35pm GMT

71 min: Schweinsteiger comes on for Carrick, while Henderson is replaced by Allen.

9.35pm GMT

70 min: Scrappy play by the United midfield, and Origi is tearing into acres down the inside-left channel. He should enter the area and score, but doesn’t back himself, perhaps still a bit cold after coming on. Smalling tracks back and brilliantly shepherds Origi away from the goal. Despite Firmino and Lallana arriving on the scene, Smalling stays strong, and Liverpool’s attack peters out.

9.33pm GMT

69 min: Lallana twists and scampers down the right to earn a Liverpool corner, but the set piece is a waste of time. Fellaini heads clear easily. He has his uses.

9.32pm GMT

68 min: Sturridge is replaced by Origi. He doesn’t look very happy about it. Way it goes. He was very unlucky to hit the crossbar with that first-half free kick, but otherwise he’s been very quiet.

9.31pm GMT

67 min: Fellaini receives the ball at his feet, on the edge of the D, his back to goal. But he doesn’t back himself to turn and shoot, despite there being time and space. He plays it back upfield, and the home fans give him the very vocal bird.

9.30pm GMT

66 min: And now a rare Liverpool attack, as Can strips the ball from Carrick and sends Firmino into the United box, albeit wide on the left. Blind marshals him away from the danger zone.

9.29pm GMT

65 min: Carrick nearly splits Liverpool apart with a simple pass down the middle, hoping to find Rashford in the box. But Lovren steps up to clear.

9.28pm GMT

63 min: A second change for United: Rojo is replaced by Darmian. Lingard, busying himself down the inside-right channel, backheels neatly to Martial, who lashes wildly high and wide right from the edge of the box. United haven’t given this up by a long chalk. They’re coming at Liverpool relentlessly.

9.27pm GMT

62 min: Coutinho sashays down the middle of the park, and slides Sturridge into space on the right. Sturridge glides into the box, then shanks an appalling close-range effort miles wide right.

9.26pm GMT

61 min: Clyne continues to look a bag of nerves. Bringing a simple ball out of defence, he’s very nearly robbed by Fellaini. He only just manages to bang a clearance upfield. Had he lost possession, United were clear on goal.

9.24pm GMT

59 min: On BT Sport, Howard Webb suggests Fellaini should have had a straight red for his elbow on Lovren, having “led with the point”. Back on the pitch, United continue to press Liverpool back. Carrick, deep on the right, finds the head of the aforementioned elbow-happy midfielder. He tries to guide a header down into the bottom right, but it’s straight at Mignolet. Fellaini’s a blunt instrument all right, in more ways than one, but if United throw him up front, he could pose the visitors a few problems. He’s caused Liverpool plenty of trouble in the past.

9.22pm GMT

57 min: A bit of pinball in the Liverpool box, and for a second it looks as though Rashford will be gifted a free shot from eight yards. But as he cocks his leg back, Sakho comes sliding out of nowhere, a brilliant tackle to deny the young talent. Then United come again down the right, Mata curling a ball in for the ever-dangerous Rashford, who chests down on the penalty spot but slaps the dropping ball wide right. Another chance.

9.19pm GMT

55 min: Sturridge very nearly strips the ball off a snoozing Blind down the Liverpool right, but as he looks to break towards the box Smalling comes to the rescue. Here’s Marie Mayer: “Tell Russell Richardson (47 min) I know that the riposte is Our Cilla and I’m not even English.”

9.17pm GMT

53 min: United are reasserting themselves. Liverpool can’t hold onto the ball at all. Lingard is afforded all sorts of space in the Liverpool half. But he takes too much time to line up his shot, and Lallana blocks.

9.16pm GMT

52 min: The shaky Clyne is booked for clattering into Rashford as the young man causes him all sorts of concern down the left. A free kick just outside the Liverpool box. Carrick hoicks it low and hard towards the near post, where Milner blocks out for a corner. Blind takes the set piece, but the ball-magnet Sakho heads clear yet again.

9.15pm GMT

50 min: Fellaini and Lovren tussle on the edge of the Liverpool box. Fellaini crumps his elbow onto Lovren’s lug. He’s quite rightly booked. Given his clap on Firmino’s jaw during the early exchanges of the first half, he’s fairly lucky to still be on the park.

9.13pm GMT

49 min: Space for Rojo down the left. He hooks high into the Liverpool area. Fellaini rises high. His header comes off Sakho and squirts wide right. Corner. And it’s Sakho who wins the header at the set piece. Liverpool clear their lines. But that’s an early scare for Liverpool, who will be reminded that this ain’t over yet.

9.11pm GMT

47 min: A scrappy start to the second half. United are trying to keep the tempo high, Liverpool are doing their best to break up the play. Passes aren’t sticking. Meanwhile here’s Russell Richardson, who had been enjoying the half-time entertainment: “The Smiths, the Stone Roses, Joy Division, Happy Mondays, New Order, ACR, Oasis, 10cc, the Hollies, Barclay James Harvest, Simply Red, Dislocation Dance, the Pale Fountains, James, The mighty Fall... can you name just one halfway decent band that ever came out of Liverpool... oh, right.”

9.09pm GMT

United get the ball rolling for the second half, having made a change. Varela, having been skinned for the equaliser, has now been hooked. A double whammy. Antonio Valencia comes on in his stead. The home heroes will be kicking towards the Stretford End in this second half, which is just how they like it.

9.08pm GMT

So that first half was brilliantly entertaining, but a strange business. United had most of the possession, and Liverpool looked very shaky at the back, but the home side needed a penalty to make the breakthrough. Otherwise, Simon Mignolet had very little to do. On the flip side, when Liverpool did attack, they looked dangerous, but a combination of the usual David de Gea brilliance, the bar and some profligate shooting generally did for them. And then Coutinho’s intervention. It’s an uphill battle for United now - they need to score three in this second half without reply - but Liverpool’s record at Old Trafford is bad enough that one United goal will rattle the nerves. This promises to be quite an affair.

8.58pm GMT

Half-time entertainment, courtesy of Granada Reports: Tony Wilson, Morrissey, and Johnny Marr. None more Mancunian. “Good old Mozart. Hip guy.”

8.56pm GMT

Well, that’s changed the picture somewhat. Coutinho’s goal was pretty much the last kick of the half, and you could hear the atmosphere sucking out of Old Trafford as the ball nestled gently into the net. It’s a quiet stadium all of a sudden, though Liverpool’s travelling support are currently banging out the Johnny Cash songbook. Thanks to Liverpool’s away goal, United now need to score three times to progress.

8.54pm GMT

This is an astonishing solo goal! Coutinho picks up possession on the left wing in a deep position. Nothing looks on. So he runs straight at Varela, and drops a shoulder to go past him. He’s faced with De Gea and a tight angle - and scoops a gentle chip into the net! Lionel Messi would have considered that quite tidy.

8.52pm GMT

44 min: Coutinho glides down the left and curls one into the United box, low and hard. Firmino tries to flick goalwards, but his cute effort flies over the bar.

8.51pm GMT

43 min: Liverpool are all over the place at the back. They could do with the half-time whistle. A long ball down the inside-left channel is pulled back from the byline by Fellaini. Rojo, rushing in, meets the ball on the left-hand corner of the six-yard box, but slams it wide! United should be level in this tie.

8.50pm GMT

42 min: Lingard burns Coutinho down the right, and is hauled back for his bother. A booking for the Liverpool man. And a free kick just outside the Liverpool box on the right. Mata curls a low one to the near post. Milner hacks the awful set piece clear.

8.49pm GMT

41 min: Henderson cuts in from the left, sliding a ball right for Coutinho, who pings it straight back, releasing his captain into the United area! It’s a lovely, flowing move, which is ruined by Henderson’s leaning back and hitting a first-time sidefoot over the bar and wide right. He was going for the top right corner; that’d have been a peach of a goal. Instead, an awful miss.

8.47pm GMT

39 min: Can races into a lot of space down the right. United are a bit short at the back. Can doesn’t do much with the ball, though. Milner tries to regain the momentum by probing down the left, but his curler into the box wafts harmlessly out of play to the right of De Gea’s goal. On the touchline, Klopp is beside himself with rage.

8.45pm GMT

37 min: United fans will be enjoying it more than Liverpool’s, mind. Rashford romps into acres down the right, reaches the byline and very nearly finds Martial in the middle with a pullback. But his ball finds Sakho, positioned perfectly to snuff out the danger. It’s an electric atmosphere right now. And this game is poised in a fascinating position.

8.44pm GMT

36 min: Clyne is being seriously unnerved by Martial, who is close to skipping past him again down the left. Clyne then hangs out a boot and kicks Lingard, and this is a free kick just to the left of the Liverpool box. Mata curls it in, but Sakho heads clear easily enough. A sense that anything could happen now. This is excellent entertainment.

8.42pm GMT

34 min: The players faff about for the best part of a minute. And then Sturridge whips one over the wall and towards the top-left corner. It’s beaten De Gea, but batters the crossbar! United clear. This game really is on now.

8.40pm GMT

33 min: Liverpool respond well to going behind, Sturridge making ground down the right and beating Blind on the outside. Blind hangs out a leg, and he’s in the book. And this is a free kick just to the right of the United penalty area. A dangerous position. Liverpool load the box.

8.39pm GMT

Martial sends Mignolet the wrong way, planting the ball confidently into the left-hand side of the net. Ice cool!

8.38pm GMT

31 min: The electric Martial drops a shoulder to scoot past Clyne down the inside left. Clyne sticks a boot out. Contact. Martial goes over, and the referee points to the spot!

8.38pm GMT

8.37pm GMT

30 min: Now Firmino has a crack from distance, 25 yards from goal, in a central position. That’s straight at De Gea, though he was unsighted a little, and the ball had reared up a little off the turf.

8.36pm GMT

28 min: Another chance for Coutinho! Sturridge, out on the right, fires low into the centre for Firmino, who opts to leave the ball for the in-rushing Coutinho. He pearls a wonderful low shot towards the bottom right from the edge of the D, but De Gea is down at full stretch to parry. A strong hand, and he gets up to smother before Coutinho can latch onto the rebound. Liverpool are beginning to look dangerous on the counter. But what a save!

8.34pm GMT

25 min: What a chance for Liverpool! Lovren, of all people, strides into space down the right. He rolls a pass inside for Coutinho, who has nobody within ten yards of him. Plenty of space to shoot from 20 yards, but he takes a wooden touch, allowing Smalling to sashay off with the ball. Liverpool come again down the left, but Sturridge and Milner, trying to skip past United’s back line with a neat one-two, encourage the linesman to put his flag up.

8.32pm GMT

24 min: Sturridge dribbles into the United box down the left, and he’s got Blind backtracking in a worried fashion. But ultimately Blind holds firm, and blocks when Sturridge eventually shoots. United go up the other end through Rashford on the left. He goes down in the box, but Sakho romps off with the ball, and there’s been no foul. He claimed that well.

8.30pm GMT

22 min: Martial attempts to replicate the goal he scored on debut against Liverpool in the league. He cuts in from the left, with Lallana in the Martin Skrtel role, spinning like a top. But in looking to curl into the top right, he lashes wildly over the bar. United are playing very well here, exuding a confidence rarely seen this season.

8.29pm GMT

21 min: Milner is allowed to scamper 70 yards down the left wing from a deep position. (He’s playing in Moreno’s position, not Clyne.) His cross, with men in the box, is straight at Carrick, who clears with ease. But what on earth was Varela up to there? Nothing, is what he was up to.

8.29pm GMT

8.27pm GMT

19 min: Rojo, out on the left, loops high into the Liverpool box. Lingard is on the penalty box. Mignolet thinks about coming to claim, then opts not to. Big mistake. He’s out of position, and if Lingard finds the top left with his header, it’s a goal. But he doesn’t get enough on it, and Mignolet can palm out at full stretch for a corner. From which, United should take the lead. A game of head tennis in the Liverpool box, and the ball falls to Mata, eight yards out and level with the left-hand post. He squirts an appalling volley wide right of the goal, the ball bobbling out in apologetic fashion. United are beginning to threaten, though. Liverpool are looking shaky.

8.25pm GMT

17 min: Sturridge, to the right of the centre circle, flicks Lallana free down the middle. But the Liverpool midfielder is quite rightly flagged offside; he was a few yards off all right.

8.24pm GMT

16 min: United are on top right now, first to most balls. But they’re not doing much with the possession. It’s a lot of scrappy nonsense so far, really. Suddenly Martial has space down the left, but he runs straight into Sturridge of all people.

8.22pm GMT

14 min: Rashford looks in the mood to trouble Sakho tonight. Once again he nearly zips past him on the right, but doesn’t keep control sufficiently to finish the job. United come again, another phase of attack, and Mata flicks down the inside-left channel, very nearly releasing the busy Rashford into the box. Clyne does just about enough to hold the striker off and blooter clear.

8.20pm GMT

12 min: Mata hangs out a leg to nick the ball off Henderson, but he’s penalised for stopping the Liverpool captain in his tracks. It’s in the centre circle, so doesn’t really mean much, but the home crowd aren’t very happy with a couple of the referee’s decisions so far.

8.18pm GMT

10 min: What goes round comes round. Fellaini goes up with Firmino in the midfield, and crunches an elbow on the Brazilian’s jaw. That could easily have been a yellow. But the referee opts for a quiet word instead.

8.17pm GMT

8 min: Liverpool are struggling to retain possession in these early exchanges. United seeing a lot of the ball. But Liverpool are holding their defensive shape well. Rojo threatens to make good down the left, but Clyne is quickly over to block. From the resulting throw, Can places both of his hands on Fellaini’s back. They’re on the white line of the penalty box, so Can is taking quite a chance as his opponent goes to ground. No foul, apparently, indeed Fellaini is penalised for handball as he falls.

8.14pm GMT

7 min: Mata beats Can in a crunching 50-50. But then his ball out to Martial on the left sails into the stand. The crowd enjoyed that first part, though. In truth, this is a bit scrappy. But did we expect anything else?

8.12pm GMT

5 min: Martial, out on the left, sprays a delightful diagonal pass to Mata on the right corner of the Liverpool box. Mata brings the ball down and feeds Varela on the overlap, but the full back is barged out of it by a no-nonsense charge by Milner. That was fairly robust. Another referee might have given a free kick that’d have been as good as a corner. But not this one, not now.

8.10pm GMT

3 min: Sturridge has a run down the right, with United looking a little light at the back. He’s got options in the middle, but runs straight into Blind, who had tracked him well.

8.10pm GMT

2 min: United are on the front foot in the early exchanges, with the home fans doing their bit. Just like Anfield last week, it’s a stunning atmosphere. Fellaini has a wander down the left. Lingard has a look on the right. Liverpool hold their shape. The mood is frantic, as you’d imagine.

8.09pm GMT

Liverpool get the ball rolling, and they’ll be kicking towards the Stretford End in the first half. United pour forward, a hard press. And Rashford is quickly scampering after a loose ball down the right. For a second, it looks like he’s going to round Sakho and enter the box, a dream start. But Sakho plays the ball off the young striker’s shins, and the danger is gone. United started quickly at Anfield, too, remember, Rashford spooning high and wide, snatching at a surprise cross from ten yards. Another near miss.

8.05pm GMT

The teams are out! Manchester United are in their famous red shirts and white shorts; Liverpool are forced into their all-black change kit. A thundering atmosphere at Old Trafford, as you’d expect. This is the one, as Byrds tribute act The Stone Roses have it. Simon McMahon has an even more meaningful ditty for us, though:

“What we need is a great big melting pot
Big enough to take the world and all it’s got
And keep it stirring for a hundred years or more
And turn out half and half football scarves by the score.”

You got a recipe for a get-along scene, Simon. This is a get-along scene, right? We’ll be off in a minute!

7.51pm GMT

And now it’s Jurgen Klopp’s turn. And the gauntlet is down! “We knew that we had to come here to play, so we can ignore the first result. It’s not important for us today. We are here to win the game again. That’s what we shall try. That’s all we have thought about. We are looking forward to it, we are excited, everything is good! We are not a low-rhythm team.” He’s then asked by BT Sport’s Des Kelly if scoring first would burst United’s bubble. “Yes, but that’s always what you should try, isn’t it?” You can’t knock the logic.

7.41pm GMT

Louis van Gaal speaks! And the gauntlet is down! “The only message is to win this game. At least by 2-0, because then you have extra time and then we can win more. 2-0 would be a fantastic revival. We want a quick start to lift the crowd, but it depends how Liverpool start, you never know how they start. The crowd are important: you saw that in Liverpool. But it’s important what we as a team show to them, because then we have a chemistry. If we can do that with each other, we have a big chance to write history!”

7.38pm GMT

Sweet half-and-half harmony. Chances are I’ll be in a minority of one, but isn’t this a beautiful thing?

7.13pm GMT

Not many changes to report. Manchester United make one from the team that started last weekend’s FA Cup tie against West Ham United. Juan Mata takes the place of the injured Ander Herrera. But if we compare tonight’s team to the one they put out at Anfield for the first leg, it’s two changes: Michael Carrick and Jesse Lingard replace Memphis Depay and Morgan Schneiderlin.

Liverpool would have named the same team as last Thursday, had Alberto Moreno not twanged a hamstring in training last night. His left-back berth is filled by Nathaniel Clyne, who shuffles across from the other flank; James Milner will be in Clyne’s normal position.

7.04pm GMT

Manchester United: De Gea, Varela, Smalling, Blind, Rojo, Carrick, Fellaini, Lingard, Mata, Martial, Rashford.
Subs: Romero, Depay, Valencia, Schneiderlin, Schweinsteiger, Darmian, Williams.

Liverpool: Mignolet, Milner, Lovren, Sakho, Clyne, Coutinho, Can, Henderson, Firmino, Sturridge, Lallana.
Subs: Ward, Toure, Benteke, Allen, Origi, Ibe, Smith.

8.55am GMT

Manchester United didn’t turn up last week against Liverpool. Having lost the first leg of the first-ever European meeting between these two giants at Anfield, comprehensively and dismally, they went off home down the M62 feeling none too pleased with themselves. A week of misery and recriminations followed. But it’s a new dawn, a new day - and having given it some thought, they’ll surely go into tonight’s second leg of this Europa League Round-of-16 tie buoyed by the knowledge that despite trailing 2-0 on aggregate, all is far from lost.

For starters, a first-leg 2-0 scoreline is never a guarantee. Olympiakos can testify to that, and Manchester United were in no better state under David Moyes when they turned round an eventful Champions League tie a couple of years ago. So can Diego Maradona, whose Barcelona were stunned by United in the 1984 Cup Winners Cup quarters, on the most famous European night in Old Trafford’s history. And hackneyed writing always lists things in threes, doesn’t it, so how about Auxerre, who were two up and coasting in the 1991-92 Uefa Cup before Liverpool won 3-0 at Anfield? Liverpool’s team that night contained Mike Marsh, Nicky Tanner, David Burrows and Mark Walters, and was managed by Graeme Souness. Anything is possible.

Continue reading...

Taking note of which way the wind is blowing and acting accordingly for an easy life

In today’s Fiver: furiously booting each other in the swingers, Karim Benzema reacts well and bumper letters section in ‘praise’ of Arsenal

Tonight, just after 8.06pm at Old Trafford, someone will hit someone else with a half-arsed reducer, receive a harsh red card, their team will go out of Big Vase as a result, and the other side will subsequently lose 11-0 on aggregate in the quarters to Shakhtar Donetsk. Tottenham Hotspur, meanwhile, require an absurd miracle against Borussia Dortmund, the sort not witnessed at White Hart Lane since a side managed by Kevin Keegan won a cup tie from three goals down with nine men plus Jon Macken up front. So that’s English hopes in Big Vase written off.

Continue reading...

Barcelona 3-1 Arsenal (agg 5-1): Champions League last 16 – as it happened

Arsenal gave it a good go. But Barcelona had Neymar, Luis Suarez and Lionel Messi up front. The story, right there.

Sid Lowe’s match report from the Camp Nou

9.53pm GMT

Related: Luis Suárez acrobatics end Arsenal’s unlikely resistance at Barcelona

9.36pm GMT

A great opportunity for Sanchez to score a consolation against his old club, but latching onto a Giroud backheel, squirts wide from near the penalty spot. And that’s that! The European champions make the quarter finals with ease. Though Arsenal played well tonight, and for a few minutes back there, gave their hosts something to think about. Ultimately, though, quality told. Just look at the goalscorers: Neymar, Suarez, Messi. Three delightful finishes. Can anyone stop this astonishing side becoming the first team to retain the European Cup since Milan?

9.33pm GMT

90 min: There will be two added minutes. Arsenal just wanna go home.

9.32pm GMT

Neymar, to the right of the D, tries to feed the ball left for Suarez, who is free. His pass is blocked, but breaks to Messi, on his right shoulder. Messi steps into the area, draws Ospina, shapes to shoot into the bottom right with his right, then scoops delicately past the keeper into the left! A gorgeous finish. He’s done nothing all night, and then that.

9.30pm GMT

87 min: A burst of pace by Walcott down the right, and he’s in the Barca box with the chance to shoot. It doesn’t end well.

9.30pm GMT

85 min: Giroud is booked after poking his fingers into Sergi Roberto’s boat. Actually, he might have got away with it had he not reacted to the free-kick decision by throwing the ball down in the play-school style. He misses the next match. Arsenal’s problem next season? Maybe. Maybe someone else’s.

9.27pm GMT

84 min: Barcelona are playing keep-ball in the middle of the park. Their work here is done.

9.25pm GMT

82 min: Neymar glides down the left and looks for Messi in the middle. Monreal heads out for a corner, from which Busquets heads wide right from six yards. That, inexplicably from an Arsenal point of view, was a free header. It should have been Barcelona’s third.

9.24pm GMT

80 min: Oh he fancies it all right! He sends a powerful curler towards the top left. It’s surely going in, but Ter Stegen gets a strong hand to it. Giroud is first to the loose ball, and his shot from a tight angle on the left is stopped by another firm Ter Stegen arm. The ball loops to Walcott, who heads weakly goalwards. The ball’s deflected away from danger.

9.22pm GMT

79 min: Monreal embarks on a fine direct run down the inside left. He nears the edge of the Barca box, and is brought down by Arda Turan, who is booked. A free kick, 30 yards out. Sanchez looks like he fancies this.

9.20pm GMT

77 min: Rakitic is replaced by Arda Turan. Walcott jigs into space down the right, but his low cross isn’t anywhere near Giroud in the middle.

9.19pm GMT

76 min: But Arsenal aren’t finished yet. Monreal earns a corner with a powerful run down the left, and from the set piece Walcott is gifted a free shot from the edge of the area. He scuffs it, though.

9.18pm GMT

74 min: Sergio Roberto, to the left of the Arsenal D, curls high to Suarez, just inside the box on the right. Suarez lays back to the rushing Rakitic, who aims for the top right from 25 yards, but gets it all wrong. It looks as though Barca are preparing to rummage around in their box of party tricks.

9.16pm GMT

73 min: Iniesta is replaced by Sergi Roberto. Meanwhile Welbeck and Iwobi are swapped for Walcott and Giroud.

9.15pm GMT

71 min: Neymar kills a high ball dead while holding the rabona position. Dear me. He whips low into the area. Messi has another whack, but nothing’s going his way so far.

9.13pm GMT

70 min: Neymar dribbles into the Arsenal box from the left and looks to have set up Messi, on the penalty spot with the ball at his feet. But maybe it’s not the great man’s night. He can’t quite dig it out, and suddenly he’s swarmed by red shirts. Elneny batters clear.

9.11pm GMT

67 min: By any rational analysis, this is over. But to their credit, Arsenal still aren’t giving up. Iwobi feeds Welbeck down the inside left, and a rising rasper grazes the crossbar and flies out for a goal kick!

9.10pm GMT

Barcelona step it up a bit! And this is a spectacular one. Dani Alves makes good down the right, and stands one up into the middle. There appears to be no danger, because Suarez, level with the left-hand post and 12 yards out, seems to be a little ahead of the ball. But he leaps, contorts his body, and whips an absurd volley into the top right, Ospina no chance! A suggestion (only a suggestion, mind) that it might have come off his shin, but even if that’s the case, it’s still a brilliant goal: he was forcing that ball into the net by hook or by crook! Stunning improvisation!

9.07pm GMT

63 min: Some intricate ping-ping passing by Arsenal down the right. Bellerin slips the ball inside for Iwobi, who flicks it down the channel to release Sanchez into a pocket of space. But there’s not much space, and though he tries to get a shot away from a tight angle, a corner’s the best he can come up with. From the set piece, Welbeck wins a header six yards out, and plants it wide right! But he was offside anyway. Barcelona need to step it up a bit, because Arsenal are threatening to score a second goal, and then it’d be time for some serious questions.

9.04pm GMT

61 min: Neymar, on the edge of the Arsenal D, cushions a header down for Messi to his left. Messi lashes a wild effort high into the stand. Barcelona and their fans are betraying a little frustration right now.

9.03pm GMT

60 min: Wow. That was an outstanding chance for Welbeck. Barcelona, sensing danger now, flood up the other end, Neymar very nearly working space in the box down the inside right for a shot. He’s crowded out for a corner, which leads to nothing. This is exciting stuff all of a sudden.

9.02pm GMT

58 min: A long hoof down the middle of the park. Mathieu sends a weak header back towards his own goal. Welbeck pounces, and glides inside. He’s got a chance to shoot from the edge of the box, seemingly one on one with Ter Stegen. But out of nowhere, Mascherano comes across to block! The ball balloons off to the left for a corner, but the set piece comes to nothing, and the chance to really put the cat among the pigeons is gone.

9.00pm GMT

56 min: And in a flash, it was so nearly off again. Neymar, just to the left of the D, heel-flicks down the channel to release Messi into a little space. Messi shoots low and hard across Ospina, but the keeper parries well. Koscielny, not for the first time tonight, is in the right position to clear.

8.58pm GMT

54 min: Barcelona look a little nervous for the first time since 2006. Sanchez nicks the ball off a dawdling Jordi Alba, and he’s into a little space on the right wing. But his looping cross is too deep for Welbeck in the middle. This isn’t quite yet on. But it’s nearly on!

8.56pm GMT

53 min: That’s given every Arsenal player a spring in their step. What a strike that was. Suarez tries to set up an instant response with a scoop into the Arsenal area down the left, but it’s easily mopped up.

8.55pm GMT

Sanchez makes space down the right, then pulls the ball back to Elneny, to the right of the D. Elneny opens his body and curls a stunning shot round Busquets and into the top right! That was unstoppable! And this ... this isn’t over quite yet! Just one more goal...

8.53pm GMT

50 min: Sanchez is booked for a cynical tug on Neymar as the two battle in the centre circle.

8.53pm GMT

49 min: A little space for Iwobi on the left. He hits a shot - or is it a cross for Ozil in the centre? Either way, it’s blocked by a sliding Dani Alves. Corner, which comes to nothing. Iwobi has been very impressive tonight, always showing.

8.52pm GMT

48 min: Suarez, sitting deep in Arsenal’s half on the left, rakes a glorious diagonal ball down the inside-right with a view to releasing Messi. Koscielny steps in to intercept, having read the danger well.

8.50pm GMT

47 min: A quiet, fragmented start to the second half. Neymar has a probe down the left but goes nowhere. Then Sanchez and Bellerin take turns to float crosses into the Barca box from the right, but neither ball carries any danger with it.

8.48pm GMT

The hosts get the second-half party started. No changes. Not even with the weather. It’s still tipping down.

8.34pm GMT

Half-time entertainment: Barcelona in their first European Cup final, starring the original Luis Suarez.

8.32pm GMT

Barca haven’t been at their free-flowing best. Arsenal have had their chances. And yet look at the scoreline. That, to borrow a line from the popular terrace singalong, is why they’re champions.

8.30pm GMT

45 min: Coquelin comes on for Flamini, who has presumably picked up some sort of injury.

8.29pm GMT

43 min: It’s end to end. Suarez is nearly released into the Arsenal area down the right; Ozil probes down the Arsenal left, but can’t find Sanchez with his low cross. An Arsenal goal now may make things a little different. Only a little different, mind.

8.28pm GMT

41 min: Welbeck and Iwobi one-two down the left. Welbeck is faced with a tight angle, but it’s a shooting opportunity. However he’s got Mascherano snapping at his heels, and it puts him off as his attempt to curl into the bottom right doesn’t come off.

8.26pm GMT

39 min: Arsenal should be level. Bellerin races into space down the right. He curls a lovely cross into the middle of the box. Sanchez is clear, the ball dropping on his head. Anything on target, and he’ll surely power his header past Ter Stegen. But he glances it wide left. What a chance!

8.25pm GMT

38 min: Arsenal have been buoyed by that incident. Fuelled by displeasure, Iwobi lashes a shot wide left of the target from just inside the Barcelona box. Then there’s another phase of attack, and Elneny thrashes low and hard while romping into space down the inside right. But his shot is blocked.

8.23pm GMT

35 min: Iwobi goes chasing after a long ball down the inside-left channel. He enters the Barca box, and falls to ground with Mascherano on his shoulder. There was the slightest of contacts on the line. Iwobi, put off balance, went down like a sack of spuds, having clipped his own heel while running at full pelt, but that could easily have been a penalty kick. But Arsenal aren’t getting it. On the touchline, Wenger throws irate semaphore shapes. Gabriel is booked for protesting.

8.20pm GMT

34 min: Rakitic floats a ball into the Arsenal box from the right. Suarez, on the edge of the six-yard box but with his back to goal, stuns it dead with his chest, and lays off to Messi. Before Messi can shoot from 10 yards, Gabriel hooks over his own head for a corner, from which nothing happens.

8.18pm GMT

32 min: A yellow card for Flamini, who goes up for a high ball with Iniesta but succeeds only in planting his knee into the World Cup final goalscorer’s back. Flamini has the good grace not to complain about the disciplinary measure taken.

8.16pm GMT

30 min: Barcelona are toying with Arsenal right now. A long pass by Mathieu down the left to release Jordi Alba into acres. The ball’s cut back for Neymar, whose attempt from the left of the D to find the bottom right is snaffled by the increasingly busy Ospina.

8.15pm GMT

29 min: Jordi Alba nutmegs Bellerin to burst into the Arsenal box down the left. He earns a corner. The ball’s sent long to Suarez on the right. He earns another corner. From which the ball’s sent long to Suarez on the left. He turns Koscielny inside and out, though the dinked cross inside for Neymar isn’t quite right.

8.13pm GMT

26 min: And another wave of attack sees Flamini earn a corner down the left. He’s given the ball back from the set piece, 30 yards from goal, and takes an ambitious rake. That’s not too bad an effort, aimed for the top right, a little high and a little wide. Not so far away. Ter Stegen might not have got to that, had it been right in the corner.

8.11pm GMT

24 min: Iwobi again makes ground in the Barca half, and feeds Welbeck on the left. Welbeck tries to drop a shoulder to get past Dani Alves and into the box, but he’s stopped easily enough. This is a spirited response by Arsenal, who looked distraught in the immediate aftermath of the goal, but have regrouped well.

8.09pm GMT

22 min: Then again, if Arsenal strike back quickly ... Iwobi slides a ball down the left to send Monreal into a little space. He’s got Welbeck in space in the middle, but his low cross is easily cut out by Mascherano. “The camera catches Luis Enrique sniggering: not very classy,” suggests Charles Antaki. “Maybe he was thinking of something else. But Arsenal fans aren’t feeling very generous at the moment.”

8.07pm GMT

20 min: Arsenal look visibly deflated. They had started well, too. They’re struggling to get a touch now. Barcelona are in Probe Mode, stretching them this way and that.

8.06pm GMT

Poor Ospina. He makes that brilliant save, and it’s all for naught. A poor pass out of defence by Gabriel. Suarez, on the right, slides diagonally for Neymar, breaking clear on the left, Bellerin out of position as a result of the giveaway. Neymar strides into the box and slips it into the bottom left. It could be a long night now.

8.04pm GMT

17 min: Neymar, to the left of the centre circle, sends a glorious looping pass towards Messi, tearing past Koscielny down the inside right. Messi’s clear in the box, and flicks insouciantly towards the bottom left. But Ospina stays big and deflects the ball over for a corner. What a pass - but what a save! The corner should end in a goal anyway, as Mathieu is granted a free header six yards out. But he somehow gets under a low-ish ball and fires it over the bar.

8.02pm GMT

15 min: Arsenal are carving out a couple of half-chances. Elneny strides down the right channel and sends a diagonal daisycutter towards the bottom left. Just a tad wide, and Ter Stegen almost certainly had that covered. But that’s a good idea on a greasy surface.

8.00pm GMT

12 min: Space for Jordi Alba down the left. He pulls a low ball back to the edge of the box for Messi, who attempts to send a snapshot goalwards but - stop the press II - doesn’t connect properly. “This Arsenal match feels like Marco Rubio just before yesterday’s Florida primary,” opines G Wither. “You knew it was over, he knew it was over, but he had to go through the exercise and accept his punishment. Only question is how bad. It was very bad for Marco. Probably will be worse for Arsenal. But that’s where this labored analogy ends: Barcelona is not The Donald.” Ah, US politics, I’ll be bound. Any old excuse to put this up.

7.57pm GMT

10 min: Iniesta plays a poor ball in the midfield - stop the press - and Arsenal flood forward. Ozil dribbles down the inside-right channel, drops a shoulder, and looks for the top left. His shot from 20 yards is well wide, but it was powerful enough. A decent start by Arsenal, this.

7.55pm GMT

8 min: Messi slides a pass down the inside right to release Suarez into the area. Suarez is about five yards offside, but the flag stays down! He plays a poor ball into the middle, where a panicked Koscielny does marvellously well to adjust and hack clear. And then the flag does go up, as late as you like. Very odd. But Arsenal breathe again, and they’ve come through a defensive drill with flying colours. Hey, positive thinking.

7.52pm GMT

6 min: Arsenal are approaching this ambitiously. Ozil is already showing plenty of attacking intent; now he’s on the left flank trying to work space for Iwobi. He can’t open up the Barca back line, but full marks for probing with high intensity.

7.50pm GMT

4 min: It’s an open game already, which may not be the best news for Arsenal. Neymar threatens to break into their box down the right, but he’s ushered out of play by Koscielny. A magnificent atmosphere in Camp Nou, by the way. The fans giving it plenty.

7.49pm GMT

3 min: But this is promising for Arsenal. Ozil plays a clever ball down the inside-right channel to release Welbeck into the Barca box. The Arsenal striker is faced with a tight angle, and kicks the ball against his own leg. It goes out for a goal kick, though Arsenal are awarded a corner. Thankfully for those bored by minor controversies in the internet age, it comes to nothing.

7.48pm GMT

40-odd secs: Suarez makes good down the left. He flicks inside for Iniesta, who very nearly sets himself clear into the box after one-twoing with Messi. But he can’t keep control of the return ball. For a second there, Arsenal hearts were in mouths. It’s important to keep tight early doors if they’re to have any chance.

7.46pm GMT

Arsenal get the game going. And lose possession within ten seconds. The only way is up. “Barcelona have skilful players and all, but can they do it on a wet Wednesday night in Barcelona?” wonders Matt Dony.

7.45pm GMT

Pre-match optimism department: “If, and it’s a big if, Arsenal score three, they have the luxury of allowing a garbage injury-time consolation goal to Messi and company to advance on away goals.” Peter J Mumola there, talking the language of happiness.

“Following you at home but if Arsenal are two goals up at half-time I shall be off to a hostelry to watch the second half,” writes an excited Kevin Mannerings.

7.30pm GMT

Barcelona: such a beautiful horizon, as Freddie and Montserrat correctly pointed out. It’s not quite so grand when the rain’s lashing down, though, as it is tonight. It’s coming down in stair rods! And it’s cold. A homage to Britain in Catalonia. This Arsenal team could be described as something of an ersatz copy, too: the accident-prone Gabriel preferred to Per Mertesacker at the back, young Alex Iwobi picked ahead of Olivier Giroud, Joel Campbell and Theo Walcott up front. Wisely giving youth some precious big-game experience in a tie already lost? Sagely prioritising the trip to Everton at the weekend? Throwing in the towel? Manufacturing excuses for defeat? Having gone left of field with his selection, Arsene Wenger has guaranteed quite the internet debating society tonight should Arsenal lose. But just imagine if they win 3-0!

6.59pm GMT

Barcelona: ter Stegen, Dani Alves, Mascherano, Mathieu, Jordi Alba, Rakitic, Busquets, Iniesta, Messi, Suarez, Neymar.
Subs: Bravo, Turan, Bartra, Munir, Sergi Roberto, Aleix Vidal, Vermaelen.

Arsenal: Ospina, Bellerin, Koscielny, Gabriel, Monreal, Flamini, Elneny, Iwobi, Ozil, Sanchez, Welbeck.
Subs: Macey, Gibbs, Mertesacker, Giroud, Walcott, Campbell, Coquelin.

6.57pm GMT

Barcelona won 6-0 at the weekend while Arsenal lost 2-1, but it’s of little relevance: both sides make six changes to their starting line-ups. The hosts welcome back Marc-Andre ter Stegen, Javier Mascherano, Dani Alves, Ivan Rakitic, Sergio Busquets and Luis Suarez. They replace Claudio Bravo, Gerard Pique, Aleix Vidal, Arda Turan, Sergi Roberto and Munir El Haddadi.

The visitors meanwhile say hello to Laurent Koscielny, Nacho Monreal, Hector Bellerin, Mathieu Flamini, Danny Welbeck and Alex Iwobi. Which means no starting places for Kieran Gibbs, Per Mertesacker, Calum Chambers, Francis Coquelin, Olivier Giroud and Joel Campbell.

1.37pm GMT

It’s 9.15pm (roughly, give or take) on Wednesday 17 May 2006, and Arsenal are a goal up in the Champions League final. If they hold out for another 15 minutes, they’ll lift their first-ever European Cup. Another 15 minutes, and they’ll be alongside their opponents Barcelona on the all-time honours list, with one European Cup apiece.

Ah well, we all know what happened next. Samuel Eto’o 76, Juliano Belletti 80, is what happened. So close, yet so far. And the gulf between the two clubs has widened considerably in the decade since. Arsenal are still searching for that maiden European Cup; Barcelona now have five of the things cluttering up the place.

Continue reading...

The Fiver | Fifa: replenishing its own coffers in the brazen style

In today’s Fiver: Pegguy Arphexad’s bongo denial, urine-gate, knacker-knack and Jordan confusion

Later, as he sat on his balcony eating the dog, Gianni Infantino reflected on the unusual events that had taken place within Fifa during the previous 17 years and six months. The headquarters of world football’s governing body, JG Ballard Towers, is a right old mess these days, smashed to smithereens after the total breakdown of all societal structures. Lights are flickering, windows have been shattered, all the foie gras is gone, and there’s a fattened Swiss pig turning on a spit. It’s basting nicely. Very succulent. It’s a dystopian hellhole, though in fairness the worst of the infighting looks over. And now that Infantino has polished off the last puppy rib, it’s time for a good old clear-up. Brooms and bin-bags out, everyone! Clean for football, the Queen and Michael Gove!

Continue reading...