Scott Murray's Blog, page 166

Watford 0-0 Chelsea: Premier League – as it happened

Diego Costa was the nearly man at Vicarage Road: he nearly got himself sent off and nearly scored a late winner.

9.39pm GMT

And that’s that. Watford possibly shaded the first half; Chelsea were certainly the better team in the second. But some exceptional goalkeeping by Heurelho Gomes - in particular that late reflex save to deny Diego Costa - earned the home side a point that on balance is deserved. Chelsea’s unbeaten run under Hiddink continues, and they rise to 13th. Watford, meanwhile, leapfrog Stoke into ninth. On the touchline, Diego Costa hugs Quique Sánchez Flores and smiles. See? There’s nice!

9.37pm GMT

90 min +2: Fabregas hoicks long and finds the head of Diego Costa, but the striker can only flick on harmlessly towards Gomes.

9.36pm GMT

90 min +1: Nothing comes of the corner. But Chelsea don’t get the ball very far upfield, and the clock’s ticking. Watford will be much happier with the point than the visitors will.

9.35pm GMT

90 min: A throw for Watford, deep in Chelsea territory down the left. After taking some time to get the game restarted, Deeney manages to squeak a corner out of the situation. Before the set piece can be taken, the fourth official’s board goes up: there will be three extra minutes.

9.34pm GMT

88 min: Willian is sent scampering down the right by a driving ball from Diego Costa. He wins another corner. From which Willian scoops a wonder cross towards the left-hand corner of the six-yard box. Diego Costa rises, and bangs a header towards the top left. But Gomes, who has been exceptional tonight, somehow claws it out for a corner. What a save! Oscar slips while taking the resulting set piece, and Watford batter clear.

9.32pm GMT

87 min: Suarez comes on for his Watford debut. Capoue is the man to make way.

9.31pm GMT

86 min: Diego Costa nearly bursts clear into the Watford area down the right, but Cathcart is on his case and forces the striker to settle for a corner. The set piece is sent straight out of play by Fabregas. Watford breathe out.

9.29pm GMT

84 min: It’s attack versus defence right now. Chelsea are pinning Watford back. Terry channels his inner Beckenbauer and powerwalks his way down the inside-left channel, before feeding Oscar into the box. Oscar stands one up to the far post, where Diego Costa lashes a close-range bicycle kick into the side netting. So close to what would almost certainly be the winner.

9.28pm GMT

82 min: Willian races down the right, and rolls a pass across the Watford area. Nyom should clear, but misjudges, falls over as he tries to toe the ball away, and Hazard has the ball at his feet, level with the left-hand post, ten yards from goal! But he takes a woefully heavy first touch, and Gomes, super-alert, comes out to smother the ball. That’s brilliant keeping. The sub looking a little rusty there.

9.25pm GMT

80 min: Hazard has injected a little bit of pace and purpose into Chelsea’s attack. He busies himself down the left, then shuttles the ball inside for Oscar, whose flick into the box down the channel nearly finds Diego Costa. But not quite.

9.24pm GMT

79 min: To the right of the Watford D, Willian releases Hazard down the channel. Hazard reaches the byline and pulls the ball back for Ivanovic, steaming in. Ivanovic opens his body and connects strongly with the inside of his foot. It’s got goal written all over it, but Gomes somehow blocks the ball, up into the air and out for a corner. The resulting set piece finds Terry caught offside, and the pressure on Watford is off.

9.22pm GMT

77 min: Ighalo wins a corner off Azpilicueta down the right. Watson whips it towards Prodl on the penalty spot. Prodl rises and heads wide right, but there’s been a deflection. Another corner. Chelsea deal with that one easily enough. But that was a decent half-chance for Prodl there. He’ll have been hoping for better contact.

9.20pm GMT

75 min: Zouma is all over the back of Ighalo, as the Watford striker looks to make off down the left. A long free kick is sent towards the Chelsea box, but Terry rises to bash a header clear, Deeney very much second best in that duel.

9.19pm GMT

73 min: Chelsea make their first change of the evening, and it’s an attacking one, Matic being withdrawn in favour of Hazard. That’s gone down well with the away support.

9.18pm GMT

72 min: Capoue looks to feed Deeney into acres of space down the inside-right channel. The striker would be tearing free were it not for the arm of Terry, which stopped Capoue’s ball from close range. That looked a deliberate motion, but it was a very clever one too, Terry computing that the referee could never give that free kick with complete certainty, so close were the two players. A wily grift.

9.15pm GMT

70 min: Oscar drops a shoulder as he cuts in from the left, and sends a low shot towards the bottom left. It’s probably going wide, but Gomes can take no chances, and tips round well for a corner. The set piece is a non-event.

9.14pm GMT

68 min: Paredes, perhaps tired after executing an Olympic standard triple salchow while lying down during that ridiculous spat with Diego Costa, is replaced by Nyom.

9.13pm GMT

66 min: Oscar gives the ball away 30 yards from goal. Deeney, down the inside-right channel, looks to release Ighalo into the middle of the area with a low curling pass. Zouma intercepts, but clumsily so, and breathes a sigh of relief as the ball flies wide right of the post. On target, and a flat-footed Courtois wasn’t getting to that. The corner’s cleared easily enough.

9.09pm GMT

64 min: The first change of the evening sees Watford hook Jurado, who started strongly only to fade, and throw on Abdi.

9.07pm GMT

62 min: Free kick for Watford out on the right, and a chance for his team-mates to pack the Chelsea box. Watson hits it deep, looking for Ighalo, but Terry heads clear. This game’s not quite flowing as it once did.

9.06pm GMT

60 min: Willian rolls a pass down the right wing to release Diego Costa into acres. The striker should power into the area and have a shot, but he miscontrols as he checks back, and the ball breaks upfield. Chelsea recycle possession, and Matic has a dig from 25 yards. It’s straight at Gomes, and snaffled by the keeper, though only after he makes a seven-course tasting menu of it.

9.03pm GMT

58 min: Watford hog the ball awhile. Capoue is obstructed as he romps down the left. He wants a free kick, but the referee waves play on. Watford would have preferred the set piece, and a chance to load the box. But they’re not getting it, and eventually possession is squandered. Poor refereeing, though I guess the official was trying to do the right thing.

9.00pm GMT

56 min: Matic bursts into space down the inside-left channel. He flicks a ball forward to release Diego Costa into the box. The striker’s offside, but the flag doesn’t go up. Diego Costa hovers on the byline, to the left of the goal, before pulling back for Oscar, racing in. Oscar sends a first-time flick with the side of his boot wide left. It was easier to score, though the miss ensures justice has been done.

8.59pm GMT

54 min: A slight drop in tempo. This game’s been pretty full-on from the get-go, so the lull is noted.

8.57pm GMT

52 min: The brilliant Holebas exchanges a crisp one-two with Capoue down the left, and lashes a fierce shot into the side netting. Half the ground thought that was in, and celebrate accordingly. The volume quickly dies. But that was fine, direct play by Watford. This second half has started in the same entertaining fashion as the first.

8.56pm GMT

50 min: Diego Costa tries to shoogle his way, Steve Nicol style, past Paredes. The full back stands strong, and eventually the Chelsea striker loses his balance. The lads playing nicely there.

8.54pm GMT

49 min: But Watford aren’t taking that lying down. Some head tennis on the edge of the Chelsea area, and Deeney is afforded the chance to take a snapshot at goal. He whips a low effort wide left from the right-hand side of the D. Not too far away. This could easily be 1-1. In goals, rather than red cards, though of course on another day, etc., and so on, and so forth.

8.53pm GMT

47 min: A wonderful start to the half by Chelsea. Oscar is sent into space in the left of the Watford box by Fabregas. His low shot is blocked. Then the rebound is met by Mikel, who sends a deflected shot looping up and down. Gomes, backtracking in a panic, just about manages to tip the ball over the bar. The corner comes to nothing.

8.51pm GMT

Watford get the second half underway. No changes, which means Paredes and Diego Costa could soon be at it in the pantomime style yet again. Here’s hoping, eh kids. “Holebas oils the machine that is Watford, and his willingness to take the ball is a decongestant for midfield.” A round of applause for Matt Dony, ladies and gentlemen. He’s here all week. Try the fried onions. Other eucalyptus-based inhalers are available.

8.38pm GMT

Half-time entertainment: Something to keep everyone happy, courtesy of Watford’s erstwhile chairman.

8.37pm GMT

Diego Costa goes down looking for a penalty kick, lumbering after Ivanovic’s right-wing cross. Nope! He squats on his haunches, milking the booing that’s cascading down from the stands. And that’s that for the first half. Diego Costa is preposterous, but so very entertaining. He’s worth the entrance fee alone. The second half should be great fun. No flipping!

8.35pm GMT

45 min: Diego Costa has a little set-to with Paredes near the centre circle. Paredes shoves the striker to the floor. Then Diego Costa returns the favour. It’s a bench-emptying scene, both men having fouled and been fouled. Deeney sprints halfway across the pitch to spark it up. Costa gets a hug from Sánchez Flores. Then he considers kicking off seriously with Paredes, despite both shoves having been soft as puppies and kittens. Paredes rolled around awhile clutching his face, which might have lit that particular fuse. The referee waits a while for everyone to calm down, then shows both grown men the yellow card. That’s fine refereeing. What a business.

8.30pm GMT

43 min: Azpilicueta, stepping into the Watford box dowm the left, tries to guide a low fizzer into the bottom right with the outside of his boot. It’s always going wide, and Gomes had the angles covered anyway. Meanwhile here’s Phil Withall, all the way from a “stupidly humid” Brisbane: “Having got through the first hour of work I managed to take a peek at the MBM, saw the image of burgers and sausages and cold people and suddenly had a yearning to be back in the Old Country. Then I remembered I support Norwich, so I’m probably better off out of it.”

8.28pm GMT

41 min: Holebas, who has been very impressive this evening, bursts into the Chelsea box from the left. And then goes down. A little bit of contact on the back of his leg by Ivanovic, but Holebas takes another touch before going down, so the referee isn’t having it. Contact was outside the box anyway. But then Watford would have taken the free kick, and that wouldn’t have been the most outrageous decision.

8.26pm GMT

40 min: A lot of metronomic passing from Chelsea. Of course, all the funkiest tunes have fatback breakbeats. They go nowhere.

8.24pm GMT

38 min: For the first time in the match, it’s all a bit scrappy. Passes not sticking. A load of nonsense in the midfield. But this has been a pretty good match otherwise. Both sides have earned their downtime.

8.22pm GMT

35 min: Chelsea finally apply some sustained pressure on Watford. Diego Costa dribbles into the area down the left and nearly finds Oscar on the penalty spot with a pull-back. Then another phase of attack, and it’s Oscar making good down the left this time, but he can’t find Willian in the middle with his high cross.

8.20pm GMT

32 min: Diego Costa goes romping after Oscar’s long ball down the inside-left channel. He twists and turns Cathcart on the edge of the box, then sends a low shot across Gomes and inches wide of the right-hand post. A slight deflection off Cathcart, and that’s a corner. Watford clear the set piece easily enough. “The last few minutes were a fine reminder why Chelsea find themselves in 14th place,” suggests Ezra Finkelstein.

8.17pm GMT

31 min: Another magnificent cross from the left by Holebas. Azpilicueta heads clear at the far post with Ighalo on his shoulder. Jurado tries to keep the pressure on with an overhead pass from the edge of the area, but Courtois is always going to pluck a soft one like that from the sky. “Thanks for posting my low bar-setting missive,” writes Peter Oh (15 min). “Hey, a goal is a goal. A lucky deflection off one’s backside counts as much as a top-drawer 30-yard belter.”

8.15pm GMT

28 min: Watford are on top now. Deeney heads down for Ighalo, who shoots weakly at Courtois from 20 yards. The home side are soon coming at their guests again, the excellent Jurado dribbling across the Chelsea box, left to right, then feeding Capoue in space on the right. Capoue is motoring, and batters a rising shot towards the top right. Courtois parries the vicious effort clear with a strong arm. Wow, that was travelling.

8.13pm GMT

27 min: The busy Jurado wins another corner for Watford down the right. The ball’s sent towards Prodl on the penalty spot. A header either side of Courtois, and he scores. But he whistles his powerful effort straight at the keeper. Chelsea look all over the shop while defending corners.

8.12pm GMT

25 min: Watford should be leading. Holebas dribbles slowly down the left, then suddenly burns Ivanovic with a stunning burst of pace. The very second Holebas has enough space, he sends a screaming, dipping cross to the far post, where Ighalo awaits, six yards out. He’s got to score, but he mistimes his header and fluffs it straight into the ground. He lost the flight there, Terry in front of him obscuring his view perhaps. What a chance, though!

8.10pm GMT

8.09pm GMT

22 min: Decisions to be made at both ends. First Fabregas slips Oscar free into the Watford box down the left. Oscar attempts a rabona from a tight angle. It’s saved by Gomes, and Oscar’s offside anyway. Then up the other end, Jurado goes down as he breaks into the Chelsea box from the right. The referee isn’t having any of the resulting penalty claim, and no wonder, because he went down far too easily after being shouldered by Matic.

8.07pm GMT

21 min: Terry climbs all over Deeney, 30 yards from goal. One-man Gwen Stefani earworm Holebas takes an ambitious whack from distance. The ball deflects off a Chelsea boot and nearly falls to Ighalo on the edge of the area in a central position, but the ball fizzes through to Courtois.

8.06pm GMT

19 min: A no-brainer of a booking for Prodl, who clatters Oscar in the agricultural style as the Chelsea man spins him down the left. He’ll need to be on his guard now. The resulting set piece comes to nothing.

8.05pm GMT

18 min: ... another mild brouhaha in the Chelsea box. The corner’s hit long. Ighalo, level with the left-hand post, heads goalwards. Deeney tries an overhead kick from close range. Courtois gathers a looping ball. Chelsea still don’t look their old selves at the back. Or maybe the “old selves” bit is the point. A couple of the lads getting creaky in their dotage.

8.03pm GMT

17 min: Space for Jurado in the middle of the Chelsea box, earned by a swift turn on the ball. He sprays a pass wide right for Capoue, who earns Watford a corner. From which ...

8.02pm GMT

15 min: Costa twists and turns down the inside-right channel, and very nearly works space for a clear shot on goal. He has a dig anyway, ten yards out, but Cathcart has stuck to his man well, and blocks the ball away from danger. Fine football all round. “I don’t have a horse in this race but I’m glad I paid a visit to your mbm because it sure looks sizzling!” begins Peter Oh. “Not the action on the pitch. The photo of the burger van! Woof.” The bar’s set low tonight, folks. No other emails to choose from, you see. Not a sausage.

7.59pm GMT

12 min: Oscar looks to have been sent clear into the Watford area down the right by a cute reverse ball from Ivanovic. But the play’s stopped. Not for offside, but because Diego Costa, in the centre, has just planted both palms on Prodl’s chest and shoved him over in the basic style. All that needed for the full playground effect was Fabregas on all fours behind Prodl’s back. The ref gives Diego Costa a mild bollocking, perhaps reminding him that he’s a 27-year-old grown man. But you wouldn’t have him any other way, would you? He’s incredibly entertaining.

7.56pm GMT

10 min: A little pinball in the Chelsea box, Ighalo nearing the byline on the right and centring, Jurado trying to latch onto the ball on the left-hand corner of the six-yard box. He nearly runs the ball out of play, but hooks it back into the danger zone. Zouma finally puts an end to the fuss.

7.55pm GMT

9 min: Willian has a little space down the right, and Diego Costa’s making himself known in the Watford area. But Willian’s curler is far too close to Gomes, who claims with a yawn. It’s been a nice open start to this game, both sides bringing attacking intent to the table.

7.53pm GMT

8 min: Watford started slowly, but they’re warming up now. Deeney wins a long ball forward and finds Ighalo - who looks good to continue - down the inside-right channel. Ighalo makes for the box and shoots, the ball deflected out off Azpilicueta for a corner on the right. The resulting set piece doesn’t come to anything.

7.52pm GMT

6 min: Jurado robs Fabregas in the midfield and romps off at some speed down the left. He tries to round Ivanovic on the outside, and gets a hand in the boat for his trouble. A free kick. Watford load the box. Watson swings it into the mixer. Terry heads clear with purpose.

7.50pm GMT

4 min: Ighalo is hobbling around, holding his left thigh. A hamstring? Actually, maybe not, he’s taken a knee from Zouma, so hopefully he’ll be able to run that off.

7.48pm GMT

3 min: All Chelsea in the early stages. Watford have hardly had a touch so far.

7.48pm GMT

2 min: A long ball down the Chelsea left for Diego Costa to chase. He can’t quite control, but Oscar picks up the rebound. Fabregas gets involved, and very nearly finds Diego Costa near the Watford box, but the pass is a bit strong and Behrami can usher the ball out of play. A lively enough start by the visitors, though.

7.46pm GMT

Watford get into a huddle, while Chelsea do a bit of ostentatious high-fiving. It’s like the start of the Super Bowl. Almost. And then Chelsea get the ball rolling.

7.42pm GMT

The teams are out! A fine atmosphere at Vicarage Road for this London derby. (Cut me some slack, they’re both on the Tube.) The Hornets are in their yellow-and-black shirts, the Blues sport their blue ones. Just as it should be. We’ll be off in a minute!

7.35pm GMT

Quique Sánchez Flores speaks! But not to BT Sport, it would seem. His team will be getting the full benefit of his pre-match patter. Fair enough as well.

7.31pm GMT

Guus Hiddink speaks! “We are not yet back to our best. We can improve still. We have a game coming up: can we maintain it? ... I know John Terry and he is so professional that there is no doubt he will give his best [despite all this captaincy hoo-hah] ... It’s too soon for Alexandre Pato as it’s pre-season for him.”

7.00pm GMT

Watford make two changes from their last Premier League match against Newcastle United. Sebastian Prödl and Jose Holebas come in for Miguel Britos and the ineligible Chelsea loan signing Nathan Aké.

Chelsea meanwhile name the same eleven men who did the usual against Arsenal the other week. Eden Hazard is back on the bench after his run-out at FA Franchise Concern.

6.50pm GMT

Watford: Gomes, Paredes, Cathcart, Prodl, Holebas, Capoue, Watson, Behrami, Jurado, Deeney, Ighalo.
Subs: Mario Suarez, Pantilimon, Amrabat, Nyom, Guedioura, Anya, Abdi.

Chelsea: Courtois, Ivanovic, Terry, Zouma, Azpilicueta, Mikel, Matic, Willian, Fabregas, Oscar, Costa.
Subs: Begovic, Baba, Hazard, Traore, Kenedy, Cahill, Loftus-Cheek.

3.42pm GMT

Watford versus Chelsea, 10th versus 14th. Nobody would have predicted this state of affairs at the start of the season, huh.

But here we are! It’s great news for Watford, who are on course for comfortable consolidation in the top flight for the first time since the Eighties heyday of Graham Taylor. Quique Sanchez Flores has got his side playing some determined, occasionally very attractive, football. On a day they’re a match for anyone, as Chelsea found out when they threatened to win at Stamford Bridge on Boxing Day. That game ended 2-2: the visitors won’t be taking anything for granted this evening.

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The Fiver | North of the M25; and a good influence in the dressing room

Click here to have the Fiver sent to your inbox every weekday at 5pm GMT, or if your usual copy has stopped arriving

The Fiver is on a roll, ladies and gentlemen. That’s right! A roll! You may remember that on Tuesday we predicted three points for Leicester City in their Premier League match against Liverpool. Well, look what happened! Admittedly we weren’t going too far out on a limb – a five-a-side team from the Stag & Urinal, four pints into a turps session, could see off The Incredible Kloppo’s Out-Of-Breath Circus right now – and it’s true we hedged our bets by predicting a 49-goal win for Liverpool in a different section of the email. But fair’s fair, we did say Leicester would get three points somewhere. So after 17 years of getting everything spectacularly incorrect, yet somehow avoiding the sack, we’re on a streak of one in a row! Can we make it two?

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Arsenal 0-0 Southampton, Manchester United 3-0 Stoke and more: clockwatch – as it happened

Leicester stay clear of Manchester City at the top, while Spurs leapfrog Arsenal into third. Just another hectic round of Premier League fixtures.

10.01pm GMT

The highlight of the evening, then, that wonder goal by Jamie Vardy. Leicester saw off Liverpool, as they habitually did in the 1960s, and 1980s, and 1990s, and ... Meanwhile Manchester City stay on their tails at the top of the Premier League. It’ll be first versus second when Leicester visit the City of Manchester Stadium at the weekend. Spurs move up to third above Arsenal, who dominated against Southampton but couldn’t break through. And it’s also a fine evening for Manchester United, who broke their first-half drought with some fine football against Stoke, and Bournemouth, who give themselves a little space to work with at the foot of the table. It’s been a blast. Leicester City, though, huh? What a team. Nighty night!

9.58pm GMT

And that’s the final goal of the evening, as the whistle blows at the Hawthorns! So here’s tonight’s full times ...

Arsenal 0-0 Southampton
Crystal Palace 1-2 Bournemouth
Leicester City 2-0 Liverpool
Manchester United 3-0 Stoke City
Norwich City 0-3 Tottenham Hotspur
Sunderland 0-1 Manchester City
West Bromwich Albion 1-1 Swansea City
West Ham United 2-0 Aston Villa

9.56pm GMT

An almighty scramble from a corner, one of those cartoon clouds with feet and fists sticking out of it, and Rondon prods a loose ball into the bottom right! What a sickener for the relegation-haunted Swans!

9.54pm GMT

Manchester United have beaten Stoke 3-0. Van Gaal walks very tall as he takes his leave of the Old Trafford dugout. And Bournemouth have won 2-1 at Palace. But Swansea won’t close out their victory, because ...

9.52pm GMT

Palace’s debut boy, Adebayor, has just flashed a shot into the right-hand side netting from six yards. So close to an injury-time equaliser, and a debut goal to go with the ones he scored while at Arsenal, Manchester City and Tottenham. But not this time.

9.48pm GMT

Here’s Jamie Vardy on his wonder goal against Liverpool: “To be honest I was looking all game, because he was quite far off his line.” Oh Mr Mignolet!

9.46pm GMT

Three games still being played. It’s effectively all over at Old Trafford, where Manchester United lead Stoke 3-0 and Louis van Gaal is in full cat-cream-interface mode. But it’s all to play for at the Hawthorns, where the Baggies still have ten minutes to turn around a 0-1 deficit against Swansea, and Selhurst Park, where Crystal Palace are trailing 2-1 against Bournemouth. Partick Thistle beat Motherwell with a last-minute Steven Lawless goal, by the way. Simon McMahon will be thrilled.

9.40pm GMT

Yep! Sergio Aguero’s goal was enough for City to see off Sunderland - but they had to defend with their backs to the wall for much of the second half. Here are the full times in the 7.45pm kick-offs:

Arsenal 0-0 Southampton
Leicester City 2-0 Liverpool
Norwich City 0-3 Tottenham Hotspur
Sunderland 0-1 Manchester City
West Ham United 2-0 Aston Villa

9.38pm GMT

Arsenal couldn’t break through a staunch Saints defence. It’s full time at the Emirates: 0-0. Their rivals Spurs have won 3-0 at Norwich, and will go above Arsenal into third place on goal difference. They’re still playing at Sunderland. Can City hold on?

9.37pm GMT

It’s all over at the King Power: Jamie Vardy 2-0 Liverpool! They’ll stay top of the Premier League. A first title for the Foxes really could happen. It’ll be a little more likely if City are held to a draw at Sunderland: Otamendi has been forced into a last-ditch clearance at the Stadium of Light.

9.34pm GMT

Kane through one on one. No mistake. Spurs, like Leicester, are the real deal.

9.33pm GMT

Not over / over / not over. There will be six added minutes at Arsenal, where Fonte needed some serious running repairs to his noggin a while back. Liverpool haven’t looked like getting back into the game at the King Power since going two down at Leicester. And City will need to see out five extra minutes at Sunderland. Meanwhile here’s Simon McMahon: “Firhill for thrills, they used to say. Currently Partick Thistle 0 Motherwell 0. Both teams lucky to get nil by all accounts.”

9.31pm GMT

Arsenal have been pressing against Southampton. But Sanchez, in a bit of space in the box to the left of goal, is denied by Forster, a fine block. Up the other end, Gabriel gets away with a fairly obvious handball in the box. Arsenal certainly can’t afford a loss, with title rivals Leicester, City and Spurs closing in on wins.

9.29pm GMT

From a Villa corner, West Ham break upfield. Valencia, down the middle, finds Kouyate on his left. Kouyate takes a touch, strides into the box, and lifts a powerful effort into the top of the net! Game over against the ten men.

9.28pm GMT

The debutant Paloschi sets up Sigurdsson to break the deadlock with a drive past Foster. Francesco Guidolin on his way to making it three from three since taking over at Swansea!

9.25pm GMT

A marvellous save by Joe Hart from Jones at Sunderland, a shot heading for the top right turned round the post with a strong hand. Manchester City need to hang on here, with leaders Leicester on their way to another wonderful win against Liverpool.

9.22pm GMT

Leicester have a serious shout for a penalty kick, Okazaki going down under a pincer movement from Lovren and Moreno. But they’re not getting it. Meanwhile at Upton Park, Noble nearly settles it by whistling a first-time shot with the outside of his boot inches wide of Villa’s left-hand post.

9.16pm GMT

A slow-motion looping header. It’s fair to say nothing’s going right for Crystal Palace right now.

9.15pm GMT

Okazaki, down the inside-right channel, has a dig from the edge of the box. The ball deflects off the leg of the outstretched Lovren, to the left-hand side of the box, where Vardy dinks a delicious finish over the advancing Mignolet and into the right-hand side of the net.

9.13pm GMT

At the Stadium of Light, Sunderland’s Defoe has just planted his elbow on Otamendi. The referee doesn’t see it though. Meanwhile Ozil has just set up Koscielny, but the defender’s put that one over the crossbar. And now the pressure’s on, with Giroud missing another close-range header, and Ward-Prowse hacking an Ozil effort from the turn on the penalty spot off the line.

9.11pm GMT

Another wonderful team goal by United, who are on song now. Mata slips a pass down the left for Martial, who immediately slides a ball across the face of goal, allowing Rooney to tap home. United had the Stoke defence chasing shadows there. Simple but effective and very pretty. Could it be that Louis van Gaal knows a bit about football, do you think?

9.08pm GMT

Benteke’s on for Liverpool. Hm. Here’s Simon McMahon: “Drew Goldie talks a lot of sense (some might say too much sense for Clockwatch), but I think that if Dundee United can win their next two league games then, like weekday tea-times on ITV, the chase will be on. That’s a big ‘if’ though. But whoever finishes in the play off place in the SPFL will find it much more difficult against the team finishing second in the Championship this year. Talking of which, Anthony Stokes has just given Hibs the lead at Raith Rovers.”

9.06pm GMT

So this one looks a bit average as a result, but it’s a great goal in its own right, Antonio racing into the box down the right after a bouncing ball and guiding it first-time across Bunn and into the left-hand side of the net. They’ve deserved that lead, having recently bothered the crossbar as well.

9.04pm GMT

This is an astonishing goal! Vardy goes romping after a long Mahrez pass (hit on the turn!) down the right - and from the best part of 30 yards, sends a screaming dipping volley over Mignolet and into the right-hand corner! A slight question mark over Mignolet’s positioning off his line perhaps ... perhaps, if you’re being tight ... but then who’d have expected Vardy to take that, the ball dropping over his shoulder? No, no, you can’t blame Mignolet for that. That’s a wonder strike. That’s ... dare I say ... Robbie Fowler-esque.

8.59pm GMT

Norwich haven’t done much to get back into the match against Spurs at Carrow Road. But suddenly! First Naismith flashed a subtle header wide of Lloris’s goal, the closest they’ve come. And then even closer! Naismith swivels and shoots from close range, but his effort is blocked. Bassong follows up to bother the net, but he’s offside. Spurs clinging onto their two-goal lead a little.

8.56pm GMT

Still no breakthrough at the Boleyn. But West Ham are finally turning the screw on ten-man Aston Villa. Richards hoicks clear from his own area with four West Ham men bearing down on him. Then Noble creams a dipping volley towards the bottom right, but Bunn parries magnificently. Meanwhile at Arsenal, Mane misses another gilt-edged chance, having been put through on goal but managing to make an awful pig’s lug of it.

8.52pm GMT

A lively start to the second half at the King Power. Can dragged a shot wide left of the Leicester goal, then Mahrez made a balls of a quick-break upfield with Liverpool all over the shop. And at the Emirates, Giroud curled a majestic effort towards the top right, but Forster somehow clawed it out, brilliant play all round.

8.51pm GMT

And the other two half-time scores in the 8pm kick-offs:

Crystal Palace 1-1 Bournemouth
West Bromwich Albion 0-0 Swansea City

8.47pm GMT

A half-time scoreline that’s worth the standalone treatment:

Manchester United 2-0 Stoke City

8.46pm GMT

Zaha is perhaps fortunate to still be on the pitch for Crystal Palace against Bournemouth. He received a yellow card for giving the linesman pelters over a corner/goal-kick decision, then nearly copped for a second one by attempting to engage the referee in a full and frank exchange of views. A lenient Mike Jones told the silly sod to calm and pipe down, with a little help from Palace captain Jedinak.

8.42pm GMT

Juan Mata has just missed a sitter for Manchester United. Darmian twists and turns down the right, before sending a perfect inswinger onto the head of the little man. He’s got to score, but somehow blasts his header from six yards miles wide right. That’s a dreadful miss. Mata cocks his head back and smiles ruefully. It’s impossible to be angry with that face.

8.37pm GMT

Meanwhile it’s half-time in all the Premier League 7.45pm kick-offs:

Arsenal 0-0 Southampton
Leicester City 0-0 Liverpool
Norwich 0-2 Tottenham Hotspur
Sunderland 0-1 Manchester City
West Ham United 0-0 Aston Villa

8.35pm GMT

The Cherries, pretty in pink tonight, are level at Selhurst Park. Pugh has danced this way and that before planting an effort home. Palace, struggling of late, couldn’t hang onto that lead for very long.

8.33pm GMT

Rangers have just taken the lead at Raith, a 44th-minute goal by Andrew Halliday, which I mention as an excuse to print this email from Drew Goldie: “I’m not massively confident that Dundee United gubbing Killie 5-1 is a sure sign of resurgence, but it’s going to be an interesting month with fixtures against Motherwell and Hamilton (and ironically, the Jags in the Cup). I don’t know if Mixu is either. The bottom of the Scottish Premier is fascinating because second bottom will play the winners of the Championship playoff, and whereas Hibs sank like a stone and went down to Hamilton who were on a high, Motherwell totally outclassed Rangers last year because they were playing against good teams week in and out, whereas Rangers had little to bite into when beating Dumbarton and Alloa (occasionally) and the like. Every time Kilmarnock look like they’re defenestrating, they come up with a result. Ah me. This might be the last Premiership season in Scotland we can actually talk about the football, so I’m making the most of it.”

8.30pm GMT

Zaha makes good down the right flank, whips a cross into the area, and Dann opens his body to sidefoot powerfully home. Palace on course to break their four-match losing run in the league.

8.28pm GMT

Southampton should be leading at Arsenal. Mane races after a Long header down the middle, and he’s free in the area. But with Cech quickly off his line, he panics, and squirts a lame effort past the keeper and wide of the right-hand post. Mane has the good grace to look pained as he trots back upfield. What a chance that was!

8.26pm GMT

Old United are back! And it’s a classic. A wonder strike. A pitch-length move down the right involving Carrick and Rooney, who hoicks the ball to the other flank for Martial. The young man steps inside, and pass-lashes a Thierry Henry-esque creamer into the top right from the edge of the area. That’s as good a team goal as you’ll see all season. Looks like LVG might have a plan after all?

8.24pm GMT

Simon Mignolet, not for the first time today, has made a save for the ages. This is probably worth recording, seeing the amount of stick the man gets for his admittedly erratic performances. A reminder that Tim Hill is your go-to guy.

Related: Leicester City v Liverpool: Premier League – live!

8.20pm GMT

Manchester United boring? Oh I don’t think so. Martial nearly makes it two, cutting in from the left and finding the side netting when he should have at least made Butland work. Then down the other end, Crouch causes all sorts of bother, while Bojan twice causes a problem down the inside-right channel, but is bundled out of it first by Borthwick-Jackson and then by De Gea. The entertainers.

8.17pm GMT

Norwich haven’t had a kick yet. Alli was preparing to knock a chance home from six yards, but he’s bundled over by Bassong. No card, but that’s a penalty, and Kane makes no mistake from the spot.

8.15pm GMT

Manchester United score IN THE FIRST HALF AT OLD TRAFFORD! It’s their first first-half goal in 12 home games. Lingard is the hero, a diving header from close range, putting away a fine left-wing cross from Borthwick-Jackson.

8.12pm GMT

Good news for City fans: Aguero is up and about, scooting around in his usual fashion. No serious injury. And no news from the three 8pm kick-offs either. The matches have started, though, there is that.

8.09pm GMT

Another great chance for Ozil at the Arsenal! A deep right wing cross drops to his feet on the edge of the six-yard box. He’s clear, and onside! But he kung-fu-kicks the ball straight at Forster, who nevertheless has to make a splendid split-second save from close range. Meanwhile here’s Simon McMahon from o’er the border: “A few important games in Scotland tonight, not least at Firhill where Partick take on Motherwell. The bums of the losers of that one will be getting squeakier by the minute as they look over their shoulder at a resurgent Dundee United side ready to swiftly climb the table. A draw wouldn’t be bad for the Tannadice men either. So it cocktails all round whatever happens. In the Scottish Championship it’s Raith v. Rangers and Morton v. Hibs.” If he doesn’t follow this up, he’s just been a great big tease.

8.05pm GMT

Ayew has elbowed Cresswell in the mushki, while battling for a throw-in. His manager’s going to love him. Villa had been the better team in the early exchanges. In the middle of a desperate relegation battle, and all. What a business.

8.03pm GMT

Navas fires a cross into the Sunderland box from the right. Nobody bothers to clear. Aguero, at the far post, takes a touch and belts home. But he’s injured by Jones in the act of scoring, the Sunderland man scraping his studs down the back of the striker’s leg. Aguero’s down getting treatment.

7.59pm GMT

Ozil has come close to opening the scoring at the Emirates. Zipping into the area down the inside-left channel, he takes a ball dropping over his shoulder down with one gorgeous touch, but shoots straight at Forster. A bit more composure, and we’d have a Bergkampesque stunner on our hands there.

7.57pm GMT

Okazaki should have put Leicester a goal up against Liverpool. Vardy crosses from the left, perfectly onto his strike partner’s nut, six yards out. But Okazaki heads straight at Mignolet, who gets to reprise Bruce Grobbelaar’s finger-tipped effort from Alan Hansen at the 1986 FA Cup final. Falling backwards, he tips over the bar. And that’s that. Meanwhile at West Ham, Villa are claiming a penalty as Agbonlahor causes bother in the Hammers box, only for a rogue arm to pad the ball out of his road. Nothing going for poor Villa.

7.53pm GMT

It’s been a bright start for Southampton at Arsenal, with Ward-Prowse curling a long-range free-kick dipper towards the bottom right. Cech turned the ball round the post, and the corner came to nothing. Meanwhile at Leicester, Huth has just crumped an elbow into Lallana’s startled coupon. Accidental, but a free kick, which is easily cleared from a packed box by the head of Morgan.

7.50pm GMT

Mahrez wasn’t far away from scoring the evening’s first goal, for Leicester against Liverpool at the King Power. But his long-range shot curls an inch or two wide of the bottom-left corner. Instead, the plaudits go to Dele Alli at Carrow Road, who slots home from close range to put in-form Spurs ahead.

7.46pm GMT

The games at Arsenal, Leicester, Norwich, Sunderland and West Ham are underway! Here’s to a few good old-fashioned goalfests.

7.34pm GMT

Before we get going, a reminder that Tim Hill is on detailed MBM duty for the big game between top-of-the-table Leicester City and Kloppo’s Amazing Travelling Circus. Leicester’s last league game was a 3-0 home win over Stoke; Liverpool’s was that absurd 5-4 victory at Norwich. So anything could happen here. An 11-goal thriller, please!

Related: Leicester City v Liverpool: Premier League – live!

7.31pm GMT

Arsenal v Southampton: Alexis Sanchez makes his first start in two months for the Gunners. James Ward-Prowse returns to a Saints team coming off the back of a win at Old Trafford.

Crystal Palace v Bournemouth: Emmanuel Adebayor is on the Palace bench, itching to make his debut. Bournemouth welcome back Matt Ritchie.

7.05pm GMT

Crystal Palace: Hennessey, Ward, Dann, Delaney, Souare, Jedinak, McArthur, Lee, Puncheon, Zaha, Campbell.
Subs: Speroni, Hangeland, Mutch, Adebayor, Chamakh, Kelly, Boateng.
Bournemouth: Boruc, Smith, Francis, Cook, Daniels, Surman, Pugh, Arter, Gosling, Ritchie, Afobe.
Subs: Iturbe, King, Federici, Distin, Murray, Grabban, O’Kane.
Referee: Mike Jones (Cheshire)

Manchester United: De Gea, Darmian, Smalling, Blind, Borthwick-Jackson, Carrick, Fellaini, Lingard, Mata, Martial, Rooney.
Subs: Depay, Romero, Ander Herrera, Schneiderlin, Varela, McNair, Andreas Pereira.
Stoke City: Butland, Johnson, Wollscheid, Muniesa, Pieters, Whelan, Afellay, Walters, Krkic, Arnautovic, Crouch.
Subs: Bardsley, Ireland, Odemwingie, Joselu, Diouf, Shaqiri, Haugaard.
Referee: Roger East (Wiltshire)

7.00pm GMT

Arsenal: Cech, Bellerin, Gabriel, Koscielny, Monreal, Flamini, Ramsey, Campbell, Ozil, Sanchez, Giroud.
Subs: Gibbs, Mertesacker, Ospina, Walcott, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Chambers, Coquelin.
Southampton: Forster, Cedric Soares, Fonte, van Dijk, Bertrand, Ward-Prowse, Romeu, Wanyama, Mane, Long, Tadic.
Subs: Yoshida, Clasie, Martina, Pelle, Juanmi, Stekelenburg, Targett.
Referee: Lee Mason (Lancashire)

Leicester City: Schmeichel, Simpson, Morgan, Huth, Fuchs, Mahrez, Kante, Drinkwater, Albrighton, Okazaki, Vardy.
Subs: King, Gray, Ulloa, Dyer, Wasilewski, Chilwell, Schwarzer.
Liverpool: Mignolet, Clyne, Lovren, Sakho, Moreno, Henderson, Lucas, Can, Milner, Firmino, Lallana.
Subs: Toure, Benteke, Allen, Ibe, Flanagan, Ward, Teixeira.
Referee: Andre Marriner (West Midlands)

9.27am GMT

We’ve got pretty much a full card in the Premier League tonight, give or take a match or two. And it’s a quick turnaround of the Boxing Day fixtures. So it’s a chance for ...

... Arsenal to avenge their 4-0 humiliation at Southampton!
... Crystal Palace to end their run of four league losses in a row, at home to Bournemouth!
... Leicester City to pay Liverpool back for one of their rare defeats this season!
... Manchester United to score a first-half goal at Old Trafford! Against Stoke City!
... Tottenham to win their first game at Norwich City in four visits!
... Manchester City to fill their boots at Sunderland, against whom they’ve scored 20 goals in the last six meet-ups!
... Swansea City to continue their one-in-a-row revival under Francesco Guidolin!
and
... Aston Villa to make it four league matches unbeaten by getting something at West Ham!

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The Fiver | A 156-word block of text that has almost certainly scuppered everything

Click here to have the Fiver sent to your inbox every weekday at 5pm GMT, or if your usual copy has stopped arriving

The 2015-16 Premier League champions, then. Manchester City have no boss for the rest of the season, so their players will have their feet on the desk for the next six months. Arsenal are Arsenal. Lads, it’s Tottenham. And nobody in their right mind is taking a shower like Ed Woodward’s Manchester United seriously, just because they’ve got the weight of history behind them: if that’s where you’re coming from, pops, you may as well waste your money on sepia-toned former greats such as Huddersfield Town, The Wednesday, Preston North End or Liverpool. It’s just not going to happen.

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Liverpool 0-0 West Ham United: FA Cup fourth round – as it happened

A fairly uneventful affair at Anfield has the teams heading back to Upton Park for a replay.

7.24pm GMT

And that’s that! Klopp isn’t smiling now, as Liverpool now have another game to fit into an already crowded calendar. Woeful finishing by Benteke and Teixeira in the second half cost them, though in truth West Ham deserved at least a draw, and indeed could easily have snatched it towards the end. There’s also that penalty shout for handball off Caulker to consider. Bilic very much the happier of the two managers, as the teams go back to the Boleyn Ground for the replay. Liverpool’s kids have done a bit better against West Ham than their first-teamers, you’ll note.

7.22pm GMT

90 min +1: West Ham hit the post! Cresswell makes ground down the left, and loops to the far post. Antonio rises, and crashes a header across Mignolet and off the inside of the left-hand post! But it wouldn’t have counted anyway, as Antonio had hands on the back of Lovren, while Cresswell’s cross might have curled out of play and back in.

7.21pm GMT

90 min: Farcical scenes as Enrique’s weak free kick fails to beat the first man and West Ham flood upfield on the break. That move peters out easily enough. On the touchline, Klopp and Bilic share a joke. There will be three added minutes.

7.19pm GMT

89 min: Smith nicks the ball off Obiang down the Liverpool left, and is bundled over by the same player. A free kick. Before that can be taken, Enrique comes on for Teixeira. In fact, Enrique’s first involvement will be to take the free kick.

7.18pm GMT

88 min: And the replay’s nearly avoided, though not in the way Klopp would like. O’Brien makes good down the right, and finds Antonio in the box, 12 yards out, level with the right-hand post. Antonio shifts his feet and gets a shot away, but Caulker has closed him down well. The ball balloons out for a corner, which comes to nothing.

7.16pm GMT

86 min: Reid bowls Teixeira to the ground, 35 yards from goal on the right. Free kick. The ball’s sent towards Stewart on the left-hand corner of the box. The young man flashes a harmless shot deep into the Kop. And then Klopp swaps Brannagan for Sinclair. He really doesn’t want a replay, I’ll be bound.

7.15pm GMT

85 min: A clever Payet pass down the right releases O’Brien into space. He should advance on the Liverpool area, but attempts one from Gerrard Country. Nope! It finds the top-right corner of the stand behind the goal.

7.14pm GMT

84 min: Antonio flings a long throw into the Liverpool box from the right. Bedlam, bedlam, bedlam. Mignolet flaps. Caulker fails to clear. Valencia goes down, but that’s never a penalty, no contact. He smiles as he gets up while Allen clears.

7.13pm GMT

82 min: Valencia loses possession as he dribbles down the left. Teixeira breaks upfield with West Ham light at the back. He’s got Benteke on his left, Ojo in space down the right. He plays a nothing pass straight ahead of him, allowing Randolph to mop up quietly. A suggestion Teixeira was taken out by Song as he played the ball forward - Klopp is enjoying some hot chat with the fourth official - but in truth there looked little wrong with the challenge.

7.10pm GMT

80 min: A couple of minutes’ worth of sterile Liverpool possession, and Klopp’s patience snaps. He swaps Ibe for Ojo, who scored a fine goal in the third-round replay win over Exeter City.

7.08pm GMT

77 min: Liverpool are dominating the game, but it all goes wrong whenever they get near to West Ham’s box. Allen busies himself down the left. He lays off to Benteke, who has Smith bombing into space on the overlap. His pass down the flank is way too heavy, and batters the hoardings running along the front of the Kop.

7.06pm GMT

75 min: Ibe slides a lovely pass down the inside-right channel to release Benteke into the area. Benteke looks for the bottom left. Randolph parries. Allen tries to latch onto the rebound but the ball breaks to Benteke. The striker should slide the ball left to Teixeira, totally free, but lumps a weak shot straight at Randolph. Another huge chance spurned. Will Liverpool regret these big misses?

7.04pm GMT

74 min: Clyne romps into acres down the right. He crosses. Allen attempts a bicycle kick, and swishes fresh air. But no matter, because the ball ends up at the feet of Teixeira, ten yards out and level with the left-hand post. He must score, but batters his shot straight at Randolph, who nevertheless should win praise for his parry. That’s a huge chance passed up.

7.02pm GMT

72 min: Ibe tries to bomb down the middle but runs straight into Song. O’Brien plays a simple pass out of play on the right. Caulker slices a basic hoof upfield into the main stand. It’s gone scrappy again.

7.00pm GMT

70 min: Moses is replaced by Antonio. West Ham have used all of their subs. Liverpool are yet to make a change.

6.59pm GMT

68 min: Stewart turns on the jets to burst down the left, and is upended by Song. A free kick and a chance for Liverpool to pack the West Ham area. Teixeira pitching-wedges it into the mixer. West Ham half clear. Stewart pearls it goalwards from outside the box. It’s going wide left, but falls to the feet of Benteke, who is onside, on the edge of the six-yard box. His attempt to control is a shank off towards the right wing. This £32.5m price-tag is weighing heavy.

6.56pm GMT

66 min: Teixeira slips a lovely diagonal pass wide right to Clyne, who hits a first-time low cross towards Benteke in the centre. But before the big striker can sidefoot home from close range, Reid slides in to hook clear brilliantly. Liverpool recycle the ball, allowing Smith to dispatch it into Row Z of the Kop.

6.54pm GMT

64 min: The resulting corner’s hit deep and high, and Lovren’s got no chance of keeping his header down, or getting it on target.

6.53pm GMT

63 min: Smith busies himself down the left, chasing after a Benteke pass, and cuts back for Teixeira, who from the left of the D sends a rising scorcher towards the top left. Randolph gets his hands warm, tipping the smart shot round the post well.

6.52pm GMT

61 min: Payet gives the ball away to Allen, to the right of the Liverpool box. Allen slips the ball inside to Benteke, who should be shooting from ten yards, but BREAKING NEWS he’s totally bereft of confidence and lays it back to Allen, who can only win a corner from his tight angle. The set piece is wasted.

6.50pm GMT

60 min: Clyne drifts in from the right, and slides a pass across the face of the West Ham box. It’s perfectly weighted for Allen to stride onto, with the Hammers defence all over the place. But Allen leans back and welts a dismal effort high into the Kop. That was a magnificent opportunity to make Randolph do some serious work.

6.48pm GMT

59 min: There were 24 goals in Liverpool’s last six matches. That one-in-four average looks in severe danger right now.

6.47pm GMT

57 min: A free kick for Liverpool now, out on the left. Brannagan curls one into the box for Caulker, but Reid gets in first to ensure the ball’s guided away from the danger zone, and Randolph eventually snaffles.

6.46pm GMT

55 min: From the free kick out towards the left, Payet sends the ball looping towards the top right from 35 yards. It doesn’t Konchesky its way into the net. Mignolet claims.

6.45pm GMT

54 min: Moses goes on a determined skitter down the middle of the park. He one-twos with Jelavic, and prepares to break into a little space down the inside left. Lovren, knowing full well there’s plenty of cover, he’s not the last man, and he’s not risking a red card, takes Moses out with an almighty clatter. He’s booked, and can have no complaints whatsoever.

6.43pm GMT

52 min: They’ve shown that West Ham penalty shout again. Caulker touches the ball twice. It’s hardly Thierry Henry basketball cheek - it was all very quick, and in a tight space - but it was a penalty kick nevertheless. Liverpool got away with that.

6.42pm GMT

50 min: Clyne, gliding in from the right, unleashes a rising rasper which only just flies wide of the top-left corner. A fine attempt.

6.41pm GMT

49 min: Stewart goes clattering into Jelavic down the West Ham left. Free kick, and yet another chance for Payet to deliver something special. Which he does, and there’s an almighty scramble in the six-yard box. A proper old-school scramble, a dust cloud with feet and fists sticking out of it. Jelavic flicks on, Caulker chests down and hacks. Suggestion of a handball, and you’ve certainly seen them given. Goodness knows how Liverpool keep it out, but that’s exactly what they achieve. Hearts in mouths around Anfield for a second there. West Ham might have a legitimate complaint about that non-penalty.

6.38pm GMT

48 min: And so, having said that, the next couple of minutes are beyond scrappy.

6.37pm GMT

46 min: Lovren heads up the left wing from deep. Allen heads on to ... himself, then slides a first-time ball down the channel in the hope of releasing Benteke. Nearly. Then Moses makes good down the West Ham right, whipping a cross to the near post where there’s nobody other than Mignolet. A bright start to the second half, by a couple of teams who clearly fancy their chances after an open first 45.

6.35pm GMT

West Ham get the ball rolling for the second half. No changes. “Watching Allen challenge the West Ham goalie while Benteke looks on sums up my growing love for one player over the other,” comments Ian Copestake, who may or may not be speaking for many.

6.22pm GMT

Half-time omen: The last season West Ham did the league double over Liverpool was 1963-64. This happened at the end of it ...

6.19pm GMT

And that’s that for the opening 45. A lively and interesting first half, with the scoreline about right, Brannagan and Obiang both going close with magnificent long-range efforts. It’s nicely poised for the second half. No flipping!

6.18pm GMT

45 min +1: From the free kick, the ball finds the feet of Obiang, 25 yards from goal in a central position. Obiang threads a brilliant shot through a thicket and towards the bottom left. Deliberate excellence. Mignolet is beaten all ends up, but the ball whistles an inch or two wide left of the post. So close to the opening goal!

6.17pm GMT

45 min: Smith, on the edge of his own area, plays a fairly obvious cushioned back pass to Mignolet, who gathers. That should be an indirect free kick. What were the pair thinking? But it’s not. West Ham are rightfully furious. Then Smith’s in the thick of it again, taking down O’Brien on the right, a cynical charge. He should go in the book but doesn’t. Then again, see Reid a few minutes earlier on Teixeira, so fair’s fair.

6.15pm GMT

44 min: Allen, a bit too bright in the tackle, concedes one down the right now in a duel with Obiang. West Ham load the box. Payet hits it deep, allowing Clyne to eyebrow it away from danger.

6.14pm GMT

43 min: Brannagan slams a witless one into the wall. He picks up the rebound and hoicks it into the mixer. West Ham clear. Liverpool send it back in. Allen, a goal machine these days, goes up for a high one with Randolph. He clatters into the keeper, and that’s a free kick. Pressure off.

6.13pm GMT

42 min: Teixeira cuts across the front of the West Ham box from the left. He’s hauled down, unceremoniously so, by the collar, by Reid. A free kick in a very dangerous position. Brannagan, who has been Liverpool’s most potent attacking force so far, fancies this.

6.10pm GMT

39 min: O’Brien purchases a pretty cheap free kick off a clumsy Stewart as the pair battle down the West Ham right. Another chance for the visitors to load the box. Payet curls a dangerous one to the near post, where Smith clears. Liverpool try to break quickly down the left, only to give the ball away. West Ham attempt to launch a counter to the counter, and that fizzles out quickly enough as well. It’s a fast and engaging game, but a little short on quality. To be expected, I guess, with both teams having made so many changes, and West Ham forced into another couple thanks to injury.

6.07pm GMT

37 min: Kouyate appears to have taken a knock. He disappears off down the tunnel as former Evertonian Jelavic comes on to replace him. A couple of blows for West Ham in quick succession there, as they’re forced to burn two substitutions before the first half is out.

6.06pm GMT

35 min: Nope. O’Brien comes on in his stead. Meanwhile Brannagan, from Steven Gerrard Country, unleashes a rising rasper towards the top right. It’s a stunning effort, and met by a stunning save from Randolph, who was unsighted for a second there. Wonderful football all round. The corner comes to nothing.

6.05pm GMT

34 min: Tomkins has gone off down the tunnel to receive treatment, a stitch or two perhaps. Will he come back?

6.04pm GMT

33 min: Liverpool are beginning to re-emerge as an attacking force. Teixeira and Ibe take turns to dribble around down the left, but neither can work the space for a shot. The ball’s fed to Benteke on the edge of the area, and he’s got Clyne in acres to the right, but he’s incredibly ponderous and the move breaks down.

6.02pm GMT

32 min: Tomkins looks a bit groggy at the moment. West Ham are hoping he’ll be able to continue, but he’s off the pitch right now as the game restarts, and frowning quite a lot.

6.02pm GMT

31 min: Allen and Tomkins go up for a high ball in the midfield. A complete accident, both players with their eyes shut, but Tomkins plants his nut on the back of Allen’s head. Allen walks away rubbing his noggin. Poor Tomkins has taken that full in the face, though, and is down in some pain. The physio’s on, and he’s mopping up a fair bit of blood.

6.00pm GMT

29 min: Allen slides a pass down the inside-right channel to find Benteke in the West Ham box. Reid nips across to belt the ball out for a corner. Allen drops the set piece on the penalty spot. Caulker, who has caused more than his fair share of bedlam in attack for Liverpool since his arrival, tries to volley home. He succeeds only in clattering Kouyate. Free kick.

5.58pm GMT

26 min: Payet swings a ball into the Liverpool box from the left. It’s deep, and dropping towards Kouyate to the right of goal, 12 yards out. Kouyate heads back into the centre, the ball hitting Smith’s arm. But Smith had his back to goal, and was mid jump; it didn’t appear to be a deliberate motion. In fairness to West Ham, Kouyate’s appeal is only half-arsed.

5.56pm GMT

25 min: Stewart and Teixeira combine down the middle of the park, the latter shuttling the ball forward for Benteke, who romps after it through a big hole in the West Ham defence. But Randolph is out quickly to claim on the edge of his area. Fine anticipation from the keeper there.

5.55pm GMT

23 min: A free kick for Liverpool, out deep on the left. Brannagan curls deep for Benteke, who hangs out a leg and misses the dipping ball from six yards. Randolph gathers. That’s a fine chance spurned.

5.53pm GMT

22 min: From the corner, Brannagan swings long. Benteke glances a header towards the bottom right. Cresswell, on the line, boots clear. That was probably going wide anyway.

5.52pm GMT

21 min: Ibe injects a little pace into Liverpool’s game, bursting through a challenge in the centre circle and driving forward with great intent. He exchanges passes with Teixeira on the left-hand corner of the area and makes his way into the box. His low cross is hacked behind by Tomkins.

5.51pm GMT

19 min: A bit of space for Teixeira out on the left. He’s only got Benteke to aim for in the box, and the big striker’s movement isn’t up to much. Teixeira fires a ball in his general direction, but his cross is easily blocked.

5.49pm GMT

18 min: Liverpool are having serious trouble holding onto the ball. Possession a pipe dream right now. West Ham are looking very comfortable at the moment, having worked their way into their groove.

5.48pm GMT

16 min: Cresswell, out wide on the left, loops a cross towards Valencia on the penalty spot. Lovren looks to head clear, but gets under it and misses it altogether, losing the flight totally. Valencia, surprised that the ball’s got to him, sends an absurd diving header straight out to the left wing again, when it was surely easier to score. What a chance!

5.46pm GMT

15 min: Allen and Benteke confuse each other in the midfield. Space for Moses down the right. His low ball into the Liverpool area is trapped by Valencia on the penalty spot, though the striker’s back is to goal. He tries to spin and get a shot away; he just about manages a half turn and sends the ball dribbling towards Mignolet, who gathers. Lovren did well to stay tight there.

5.44pm GMT

12 min: After their brisk start, Liverpool aren’t seeing much of the ball now. West Ham are beginning to impose themselves, winning the majority of 50-50 challenges in the middle. Anfield getting a bit tense as a result, the constant noise from the away corner apart.

5.42pm GMT

10 min: Stewart upends Obiang out on the right. A free kick, and a chance for West Ham to load the box. Everyone’s to the left of the D. Payet, from 35 yards, tries to send a McAllister-versus-Everton-style surprise effort into the right-hand side of the net, unguarded by Mignolet as it is. But it’s just wide right of goal, and the keeper was over to cover anyway. Clever effort by a quick thinker, though.

5.40pm GMT

9 min: Valencia and Moses exchange sweetly down the middle, and nearly set Obiang free in the box. Caulker is on hand to hook clear, just as it looked like the West Ham midfielder would find room for a shot.

5.38pm GMT

7 min: Moses nearly skips his way past Smith down the right, but has to make do with a corner. The ever-excellent Payet takes. It’s flicked clear by Allen at the near post. Suddenly, on the break, Teixeira is putting serious pressure on Ogbonna, the only Hammer tracking back. Ogbonna keeps up the pace and sees off the danger. West Ham hoick upfield. Liverpool come again, Ibe cutting in from the left and setting up Brannagan, who converts for some rugby-union points. A wild effort.

5.36pm GMT

5 min: Liverpool are seeing most of the ball early doors. They’re snapping into tackles. Stewart robs Song to set up an attack. Benteke’s loose control ensures the move breaks down. Brannagan tries to keep the momentum up, but he slides in unfairly on Song this time, and the pressure’s relieved.

5.35pm GMT

3 min: Smith rolls a ball down the left to win a corner off Tomkins. From the set piece, Smith swings a cross in from the left. West Ham half clear. Then Brannagan has a go from the same flank. His vicious dipping cross nearly finds Benteke at the far post, but Reid gets his head on the ball first to guide the ball back to Randolph. Cool, collected defending.

5.33pm GMT

2 min: Cresswell makes a couple of runs down the left. He presses Liverpool back towards their own box, but he eventually lets the ball run out for a throw. The home side clear. A fast-paced end-to-end start to this match.

5.31pm GMT

Liverpool get the ball rolling. They’ll be defending the Kop end in the first half, attacking it in the second, which is just how they like it. Teixeira bursts down the right but is chased off the ball early enough. Then a bit of space for Allen down the same wing, but his cross into the Hammers box in the direction of Benteke is way too strong. A brisk start, with plenty of bedlam the soundtrack.

5.29pm GMT

The teams are out! Liverpool are in their traditional red clobber, while West Ham must ditch their famous claret-and-blue combo for the sake of clarity. They’re in third-choice dark blue. A cracking atmosphere at Anfield, a rousing singalong to Gerry and the Pacemakers with the away fans blowing plenty of Bubbles in return.

5.19pm GMT

Slaven Bilic speaks! “We deserved to win both of our league games, but the matches were very difficult and we had to be at our best. Based on that we are confident and optimistic, but we also know that only one team can be a favourite at Anfield, and that is Liverpool. Adrian’s wife is giving birth in Spain, but Randolph would have been in goal for the cup anyway. Mark Noble has flu. We had bad injuries in November and December, which obviously we did not want, but the good thing about that is we played more players, and now we have 15 or 16 regulars.”

5.10pm GMT

Jurgen Klopp speaks! “The selection is risky, yes, but we are without an alternative as we have played the highest number of games in the last few weeks, nine in 20-odd days. And the last one was very intense! We cannot ignore this. But we cannot ignore the quality of our opponents too. We are for sure not the favourites because West Ham are in a really good moment, but we will try to challenge. If you think I am being disrespectful against the FA Cup I cannot change that, but we are full of respect for the FA Cup and have a responsibility to our fans too. At the end there are some people who will say well done [puts thumbs up and wears cheesy grin, Paul McCartney style] and some will criticise it. But we have a few good players and some young talent. I like this!”

4.45pm GMT

Liverpool are much changed, as expected, for their ninth game in January. Simon Mignolet is the only player who started the League Cup semi-final second-leg against Stoke City to retain his place. It’s arguably a stronger side than some expected: Nathaniel Clyne and Dejan Lovren return, Steven Caulker finally gets a go as a defender, Joe Allen captains the side, and first-team regulars Jordon Ibe and Christian Benteke will be on the attack. But the bench is packed with kids. And Jose Enrique.

West Ham ring the changes too, for their sixth game of the month. They make five to the side that started the 2-2 draw with Manchester City last Saturday. Adrian, Carl Jenkinson, Mark Noble, James Collins and Michail Antonio make way for Darren Randolph, James Tomkins, Angelo Ogbonna, Pedro Obiang and former Liverpool winger Victor Moses.

4.35pm GMT

Liverpool: Mignolet, Clyne, Lovren, Caulker, Smith, Allen, Brannagan, Stewart, Ibe, Teixeira, Benteke.
Subs: Ward, Enrique, Ilori, Chrivella, Ojo, Sinclair, Randall.

West Ham United: Randolph, Tomkins, Reid, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Obiang, Song, Kouyate, Moses, Payet, Valencia.
Subs: Howes, O’Brien, Collins, Oxford, Cullen, Antonio, Jelavic.

12.54pm GMT

Liverpool have won their six previous FA Cup ties with West Ham United, most recently the Gerrard Final of 2006. Sounds promising for the seven-time cup winners. But that’s where their good news ends.

Until this season, West Ham hadn’t won at Anfield since 1963. That was quite the barren spell, but Slaven Bilic’s side slaked their thirst in stunning fashion back in August, thrashing a side then managed by Brendan Rodgers 3-0. That set up the possibility of West Ham’s first league double over Liverpool in 52 years, something secured earlier this month when the Hammers easily dispatched a team now led by Jurgen Klopp 2-0 at Upton Park. So they’ve won three of their last four matches against Liverpool. The aggregate score’s 8-3.

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Colchester United 1-4 Tottenham Hotspur: FA Cup fourth round – live!

Tottenham made it to the fifth round with an impressive display against League One strugglers.

2.41pm GMT

And that’s that! Spurs ease their way into the fifth round for the first time in four seasons. Deservedly so: they were brilliant at times, the real deal all right. But Colchester did themselves proud too, adjusting to the early loss of their central defence, and staying competitive until late in the game. But Spurs got the breaks at the crucial moments - Dier’s deflected goal, Sordell’s shot against the post - and hey, you make your own luck. A very entertaining cup tie. Follow that, Lionel Richie.

2.38pm GMT

90 min: There will be two additional minutes.

2.38pm GMT

89 min: Colchester touch the ball! This is exhibition stuff now. But the League One strugglers have performed well today, and were right in this tie until that late burst of scoring.

2.36pm GMT

88 min: See 86 min. Colchester haven’t had a touch for some time now.

2.34pm GMT

86 min: Spurs calm it all down, knocking it back and forth in the Dad v Toddler style, running down the clock in a most professional manner.

2.32pm GMT

84 min: The crazy run of Goal Every 120 Seconds is broken, but only just. Son dribbles with purpose down the right and reaches the byline. He’s got men in the middle, but his low cross, driven into a mixer at the near post, somehow squirts clear of danger instead of heading into the net.

2.31pm GMT

It’s turned into a goalfest! Chadli twists and turns down the left. He fires low into the centre, where Carroll sweetly volleys past Kean from close range.

2.30pm GMT

As the game restarts, a fan rushes onto the pitch and asks Vorm for his autograph! What brazen chutzpah! And then Colchester get onto the scoresheet! Massey is found in space down the left. His low shot crashes off the right-hand post and back across the goalline. Davies, rushing back, can’t stop himself running the ball into the net.

2.27pm GMT

Carroll, on the right of the Colchester D, shoots. The ball breaks to Trippier on the wing. Trippier curls a delightful medium-height cross to the near post. Chadli stoops ahead of Kent, and guides the ball into the bottom right.

2.25pm GMT

77 min: Eriksen is replaced by Onomah.

2.25pm GMT

76 min: Dier is caught sleeping on the ball. Sordell nips it off him, exchanges passes with Massey, and tears clear on goal! He opens up his body, and looks to sidefoot into the bottom right. He beats Vorm, but the ball crashes off the base of the right-hand post and away. So close to getting back into this game! Lower-league sides need all the luck they can get in the FA Cup, and nothing’s going Colchester’s way.

2.22pm GMT

73 min: Massey has been Colchester’s best player today. He beats a couple of players down the left and fires a shot towards the bottom left. It’s blocked easily enough. The ball breaks to the right of the D, where Brindley attempts to replicate Chadli’s goal. Not quite.

2.20pm GMT

72 min: Son cuts in from the right and turns on the jets. He looks for the bottom left. Kean does well to get down and parry the shot clear.

2.19pm GMT

71 min: Spurs with more of the stroking, left and right and left again, all across the back. “Google tells me that the Weston Homes Community Stadium is closed today,” reports JR in Illinois, who has too much time on his hands. “I am surprised that someone is wrong on the internet, but hopefully for everyone in the vicinity of Essex Google is not wrong in telling me that Lionel Richie will be playing there in June.”

2.17pm GMT

69 min: Spurs hog the ball, knocking it hither and yon. Already they’re looking to run down the clock in a fuss-free fashion.

2.15pm GMT

67 min: A sign that Tottenham know this tie is now over. Kane hands the captain’s armband to Eriksen, and departs the field of play. Son comes on in his wake.

2.14pm GMT

66 min: That said, Spurs should be four or five goals up, so it’s swings and roundabouts.

2.13pm GMT

Oh dear, such a shame for Colchester, who are dished out a terrible slice of luck. Dier has the ball 25 yards out, a little to the right of centre. He looks for the top right. It’s not a particularly good effort, but slams into the back of Briggs, and takes a huge left-turn into the left-hand side of the net, bouncing at an agonisingly slow speed past Kean, wrong-footed and rendered impotent.

2.10pm GMT

62 min: Somehow, Colchester are still within touching distance of Tottenham. So it’s time to make their last roll of the dice. An attacking change: the midfielder Ambrose is replaced by the striker Sordell.

2.09pm GMT

60 min: I should be writing Colchester United 0-2 Tottenham Hotspur (Chadli 60) in big letters. But I’m not. Kane bursts down the left, into the area, and slips the ball low to Chadli. He spins to make space. He’s free, eight yards out. He’s got to score! But he batters a rising shot onto the crossbar, and that’s that. What a miss!

2.07pm GMT

58 min: Kane powers into the Colchester box from the left, but can’t find space to shoot. The ball finds its way to Chadli, who twists and turns on the right-hand corner of the six-yard box, but isn’t able to make room for an effort on goal. Colchester’s makeshift defence slammed the door shut very impressively there. For a brief moment it looked like a second Spurs goal was on the cards.

2.05pm GMT

56 min: Porter and Wimmer challenge a ball down the Colchester inside-left channel. Wimmer sticks his leg out to guide it back to Vorm. Porter goes over Wimmer’s leg and claims a penalty, but he’s never getting that. Spurs meanwhile make their first change, hooking Lamela and throwing on Dembele.

2.04pm GMT

55 min: Yes, much better indeed. Ambrose skitters down the right and curls a glorious deep cross towards Porter at the far post. It’s begging to be met by a diving header. But Porter tries to meet it with a high boot, and the chance is gone.

2.02pm GMT

54 min: A speculative hoof down the Colchester right. Moncur sticks out a boot and takes it down brilliantly. He romps down the wing and this time finds Ambrose in the middle. Ambrose shoots, and the effort from the edge of the box is deflected inches wide of the right-hand post. Had that been on target, it was creeping in with Vorm’s feet planted. From the corner, the ball finds Massey wide on the left. He blooters a shot goalwards, but Vorm has it covered. This is much better from the home side!

2.00pm GMT

52 min: Garvan rakes a delicious pass down the left flank to release Massey into space. Massey makes it to the box, before pulling the ball back for Moncur, who turns in a tight space and sees his snapshot blocked pretty much the nanosecond the ball comes off his boot. Ambrose was in the middle, in space, waiting for a pass there.

1.58pm GMT

50 min: Massey has been busy in attack for the home side. He earns himself a little space down the left, and decides to take a shot from distance. It’s a weak effort, and deflected through to Vorm.

1.57pm GMT

49 min: Lamela appears to be in the mood to put this tie to bed early in this second half. He dribbles in from the left, and again looks for the bottom right. Again his effort is wide, but he’s getting chances. Colchester have come out a little cold.

1.56pm GMT

47 min: Briggs tries to Beckenbauer his way through the middle of the park. Bad decision. He gifts the ball to Kane, who drifts down the Spurs right before dinking the ball across to Lamela, who takes a touch to burst clear into the Colchester box down the inside-left channel. He’s got Brindley on his shoulder, and the full back does enough to put him off. Lamela goes for the bottom right, and squeezes the ball past Kean, but also past the right-hand post.

1.53pm GMT

Great news regarding Alex Wynter: he’s conscious and sitting up in hospital. So hopefully, touch all sorts of wooden items, he’ll be OK. Spurs get the ball rolling for the second half. And here’s Steve Wiles with a Colchester-centric take on that eventful first half: “All things considered, when you bear in mind we’ve lost our entire central defence, played for a quarter of the half with ten men, are currently playing an inexperienced kid at centre back (but watch him, he’s gonna be good) along with a left back who finds himself there by accident ... the sheer fact we started to find our way into this match is a credit. Even if we clearly look like blokes running after a ball vs athletes I couldn’t be more proud of the guys.”

1.38pm GMT

Half-time entertainment:

Related: 13 February 1971 'Dad's Army' knock Leeds out of the FA Cup

1.37pm GMT

Not the worst scoreline for United at half time, given the early loss of both central defenders, and Tottenham’s subsequent dominance. In fact, had Moncur picked the right pass towards the end of that half, the teams might be going in level. Strange game in that respect, though Spurs have been much the better side. Could be a fascinating second half. Stay tuned!

1.35pm GMT

45 min +5: Vincent-Young hasn’t lost the confidence to attack. He makes off down the left again, drifts inside, and so nearly releases Moncur, cutting in from the right, with a sliderule pass. But Dier steps in to intercept, having read Vincent-Young’s intentions perfectly.

1.34pm GMT

45 min +3: Vincent-Young attacks down the left. But he passes inside to nobody, and Kane’s first to the ball. Kane drives into the Colchester half, and tries to burst past Kent. If he manages it, he’s clear on goal, but Kent stays strong, block tackles, and clears upfield. Marvellous defending!

1.32pm GMT

45 min +1: Eriksen skates across the front of the Colchester area, left to right. He considers shooting, but slips Trippier free into the box instead. Trippier fires into the centre, low and hard. Kane can’t quite guide it home from close range, and Kent is able to hook clear while sliding along hysterically on the seat of his pants. Brilliant football all round.

1.31pm GMT

45 min: There will be six minutes added to this half, in the wake of Wynter’s early injury.

1.30pm GMT

44 min: Space for Davies down the left. Once again he reaches the byline. But his pullback doesn’t find Kane. Kent hoicks clear.

1.29pm GMT

43 min: A lot of Spurs passing. But right now, they’re going nowhere.

1.28pm GMT

41 min: Moncur dribbles down the middle of the park at pace. Spurs are light at the back, and if Moncur rolls a pass down the inside-right channel for Porter, he’ll send his strike partner free on goal. But he’s high on life, and decides to go it alone. Spurs finally swarm around him before he can reach the box. Far too late, he tries to find Porter, by now on the left, but his flick is no good. A real chance for the League One side to draw level has been spurned.

1.25pm GMT

39 min: Lots of space again for Trippier down the right. Again. Another low cross, with plenty of men in the box, but it’s pretty aimless. The ball breaks to Carroll on the edge of the area. He takes a shot. Nope!

1.24pm GMT

38 min: Spurs are having a lot of joy down the right. Trippier zips past Vincent-Young. His low cross is hacked clear by Briggs at the near post. Then Bentaleb takes a shot from 25 yards on the same wing. The wind catches the curler, and nearly carries it along an absurd arc and into the top left. Kean, running backwards at pace, does well to claw it out for a corner. Was it going in? Not sure, but the keeper couldn’t take the chance. The corner is cleared easily.

1.21pm GMT

35 min: A determined dribble by Massey down the right drives Tottenham onto the back foot. He can’t quite burst through and checks back. But soon enough he’s having another drive down the wing. This time he wins a throw, from which Gilbey shoots from the best part of 30 yards and very nearly takes out the right-hand corner flag. Best forgotten. But signs that Colchester are getting into this match at last.

1.18pm GMT

33 min: Space for Brindley down the right. He whips a high cross towards Moncur, eight yards out, and it’s a good one, but Dier arrives at the last minute to send a defensive header behind for the corner. Vorm claims the set piece without fuss. But that’s a little better from Colchester, who have otherwise been quiet in attack.

1.17pm GMT

31 min: Kane should be on the scoresheet. Bentaleb slides the overlapping Davies free down the left. Davies stands one up into the centre. Kane heads goalwards from six yards. He has to score, but his effort is straight at Kean, who nevertheless saves well with a strong hand. The resulting corner comes to nothing.

1.16pm GMT

30 min: Kane runs powerfully down the right, reaches the area, and opts to go for goal from a tight-ish angle despite having men in the box. It’s not far off. He goes for the near post, and flashes a shot into the side netting.

1.15pm GMT

29 min: A loose ball in the Spurs midfield, a dreadful blind crossfield pass by Carroll. Ambrose intercepts, and makes good towards the Spurs box. He slips the ball to the left for Moncur, who tries to work space to shoot. He doesn’t make enough; Dier is across to block. The corner comes to nothing. The only danger to Spurs so far has been of their own making.

1.13pm GMT

This had been coming, and it’s almost a repeat of the Eriksen shot, 60 seconds earlier. Lamela slides Chadli into space down the inside right. Kean is off his line. Chadli, on the right of the D curls into the top left. No more than Spurs deserve.

1.12pm GMT

26 min: Eriksen, from the centre circle, goes on a bold diagonal skitter towards the right of the Colchester D. He attempts to float one into the top left. He’s got Kean beaten, but clears the post too.

1.11pm GMT

25 min: A lull, which is exactly what Colchester needed. A bit of time for their new men to settle, a week’s planning having gone out of the window in double-quick time.

1.09pm GMT

23 min: Porter chases after a speculative ball down the inside-left channel. He’s not far from getting a toe to it, but Vorm bravely comes out to the edge of the area and smothers, taking a knock for his troubles.

1.07pm GMT

21 min: Eastman isn’t able to continue. The big man looks disappointed as he’s replaced by Briggs, but Keen doesn’t fancy taking any chances with a head injury.

1.05pm GMT

19 min: Massey goes chasing a long ball down the middle, on the shoulder of Wimmer, and very nearly gets ahead of his man. If he does, he’s clear in the box, but the Spurs defender stays strong and ushers the ball back to Vorm, who kicks clear.

1.04pm GMT

18 min: A long ball hooked into the Colchester box from the right. It’s going to find Kane at close range, but Eastman intercepts. He can only guide the ball back out to Lamela, though, and the Spurs attacker wins a corner with a shot deflected out to the right. Lamela hits the corner long to Chadli, who once again fails to connect properly with a header. But Spurs are asking all the questions here.

1.01pm GMT

16 min: News of the unfortunate Wynter: he’s concussed, and off to hospital.

1.01pm GMT

15 min: Trippier twists Ambrose this way and that as he makes off down the right. Ambrose gets dizzy quickly. Tripper reaches the byline and fires a low cross to the near post, where Kane very nearly tucks home. The ball ripples the side netting. Colchester are holding on by their fingertips here.

12.59pm GMT

13 min: Ah, here comes Eastman, back and bandaged up, and not a moment too soon. Colchester, relieved, finally launch an attack down the right. Massey swings a ball into the Spurs box, but there’s nobody in blue to meet it. “I’ve been reading rumours that Manchester United might target Pochettino as their next manager,” writes Hubert O’Hearn. “Not that I’m trying to awaken trolls, however in all seriousness, wouldn’t Spurs actually be the preferred job now, as odd as that may be to write? The roster is built, Champions League beckons, and it’s the capital. What strange and delightful times we live in.”

12.58pm GMT

12 min: Lamela, from what initially appears to be a daft distance down the inside-right channel, whips a glorious curling shot past Kean and onto the bottom of the left-hand post. The ball goes out for a corner; the shot deserved a goal. Eastman? Eastman?!

12.56pm GMT

10 min: Colchester are hanging on with their ten men. Chadli has a belt from the left-hand corner of the D. It’s blocked. Then Lamela makes space for himself in the right-hand portion of the area. He can’t get a shot away either. How long can they wait for Eastman to return? Get stitching, doc.

12.54pm GMT

8 min: Colchester have a makeshift defence right now, and Spurs are showing no mercy. First off, Kane sends Trippier free down the right again. A low cross this time, and it nearly finds Chadli in the six-yard box. But Chadli isn’t allowed to sidefoot home, because Brindley hooks away marvellously to save a certain goal. Then Eriksen comes at Colchester down the inside-right, and takes a whack from distance. Kean parries well to stop the ball squeaking into the bottom right.

12.52pm GMT

6 min: Kent comes on for Wynter, who departs on a stretcher. He receives a warm ovation from all corners. God speed. Kent will be partnered by Gilbey in the centre of the defence while Eastman is off being treated.

12.50pm GMT

4 min: It’s going to take a little while to load poor stricken Wynter onto the stretcher. All due care and attention being taken. Kent, who will come on to replace him, is receiving lengthy instruction from his manager on the touchline.

12.49pm GMT

2 min: Dear me. This looks fairly unpleasant. With Kane making a nuiscance of himself down the Spurs left, Eastman crashes into Wynter, his own man, as the pair challenge a high ball. They clash heads in gruesome fashion. Wynter is down on the ground, spark out. He’ll be helped onto a stretcher, while Eastman goes off down the tunnel for an emergency stitch or two, blood streaming down his face.

12.47pm GMT

Colchester get the ball rolling. A cracking atmosphere at the Community Stadium. It’s hellishly windy. Kane sets Trippier away down the right. Tripper crosses long for Chadli, who can’t connect properly with his header at the far post. But very nearly a whirlwind start for Spurs.

12.44pm GMT

The teams are out! Colchester are in their first-choice blue-and-white stripes, while Spurs have rocked up in their famous lilywhite duds. It would have been easy to opt for third-choice purple, so fair play for their insistence on tradition. Colchester’s kit is predominantly blue, after all. Tottenham’s captain today, incidentally, is Harry Kane. With 15 in his last 18 games, Kane will be a crucial component of Tottenham’s title charge, so it’s to Pochettino’s credit that he’s taking the FA Cup seriously enough to play him today. “I suppose it’s a good sign that the cup is being taken seriously,” begins Steve Wiles, “but I can’t help wishing that sometimes, specifically and only when playing my beloved and bedraggled U’s, the big boys would treat the cup with the disdain it undoubtedly doesn’t deserve.” We’ll be off in a minute!

12.32pm GMT

The ever-calm Mauricio Pochettino talks! “My experience is that when you play against lower-level teams, it is difficult, as their motivation is great. We need to show respect, we know it will be a very tough game. We need to play well. We have the possibility to make the fifth round, and while it’s an opportunity for other players to play, we still picked the best starting XI to win. It’s important to keep our momentum going. We want to go far in every competition. Today is a very important game for us.”

12.21pm GMT

A very cheery Kevin Keen speaks! “It’s the cup, and everyone in the lower leagues love the cup, because it’s an opportunity to grab the headlines. They’re doing very well at the moment, and we’re not, but we’ll have a go. Everyone in the dressing room is excited. Their second-string aren’t really second-string, so whatever team they’ve picked, we’ll give it a go. We’ve got a lot of young players, and this club is about bringing them through. Hopefully we’ll put on a good show and encourage other young players to come and play for Colchester United. Alex Gilbey is 21 and he’s played 100 games for us. That’s got to be better than sitting in someone’s under-21 side.”

12.07pm GMT

Colchester haven’t won a league game in 14, so today’s match against one of the most upwardly mobile teams in Europe should come as light relief. Eh? They make three changes to the XI that started the 3-0 defeat at Scunthorpe: Kane Vincent-Young, Gavin Massey and Darren Ambrose are in for Matthew Briggs, Joe Edwards and Chris Porter.

Spurs have given their line-up a good old shoogle, much as expected. Seven changes to the team that began the 3-1 victory at Crystal Palace. Hugo Lloris, Danny Rose, Toby Alderweireld, Jan Vertonghen, Heung-Min Son, Mousa Dembele and Dele Alli make way for Michel Vorm, Kevin Wimmer, Ben Davies, Nabil Bentaleb, Tom Carroll, Erik Lamela and Nacer Chadli. That’s still a strong side, isn’t it. Spurs are the real deal nowadays.

12.01pm GMT

Colchester United: Kean, Brindley, Eastman, Wynter, Vincent-Young, Garvan, Gilbey, Massey, Moncur, Ambrose, Porter.
Subs: Briggs, Edwards, Lee, Kent, Bonne, Parish, Sordell.

Tottenham Hotspur: Vorm, Trippier, Dier, Wimmer, Davies, Bentaleb, Carroll, Lamela, Eriksen, Chadli, Kane.
Subs: Lloris, Alderweireld, Walker, Alli, Dembele, Onomah, Son.

1.42am GMT

“I always score against Jack Charlton.” Ray Crawford’s boast, there, back in 1971, ahead of Fourth Division Colchester United’s fifth-round FA Cup tie against First Division table-toppers Leeds United. It wasn’t an idle one, either. The 34-year-old Crawford - who had been a member of Alf Ramsey’s title-winning Ipswich Town side back in 1962, and therefore knew a thing or two about jaw-dropping outcomes - scored twice in the first 28 minutes against Don Revie’s stellar team. Crawford & Co. never looked back, hanging on for an eventual 3-2 win. It’s arguably the biggest shock in the entire history of the FA Cup. It’s certain that 13 February 1971 remains the most famous day in Colchester United’s history.

A win over Tottenham Hotspur today wouldn’t be far off matching it. Colchester are rock bottom of League One, while Spurs have a sniff of the Premier League title. Kevin Keen has some experienced names in his squad - former Crystal Palace midfielder Darren Ambrose, one-time Reading defender Nicky Shorey, erstwhile Ipswich midfielder Owen Garvan - but even if Mauricio Pochettino selects a second-string line-up, you’d expect Spurs to be too strong for their hosts today. But then everyone said that before a fourth-round tie between Terry Venables’ Tottenham and third-tier Port Vale back in 1988, and look what happened there. It’s the nature of the cup. So it can be done. It probably won’t, but it can. It’s on!

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The Fiver | The sensation of the sharp stick

Click here to have the Fiver sent to your inbox every weekday at 5pm GMT, or if your usual copy has stopped arriving

Manchester United are widely considered to be fathers of the modern attitude to the FA Cup, a tournament now viewed with contemptuous disgust by a new generation only interested in YouTube footage of Lionel Messi and Him metronomically volleying the Ballon d’Or trophy back and forth at each other in time to Zadok the Priest. This of course harks back to 2000, when the eternal buffoons of the FA railroaded United into competing for the Fifa Tin Pot instead of defending the cup, fatally compromising the integrity of their own competition at a stroke. The FA wasn’t completely stupid, mind you, because while its unctuous forelock-tugging didn’t persuade Fifa to give it hosting rights for the 2006 World Cup on a silver platter, as the oily clowns were hoping it might, it did somehow manage to frame the decision in a manner which saw poor United cop all resulting flak. Bad United! Naughty United! Disrespectful United!

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A brief guide to … LA Galaxy's Ashley Cole, once the world's finest left-back

The English defender comes to MLS having won everything there is to win. Forget the lurid headlines, he was unquestionably a world-class operator

With the Guardian’s unstoppable rise to global dominance** we at Guardian US thought we’d run a series of articles for fans wishing to improve their knowledge of the sports history and storylines, hopefully in a way that doesn’t patronise you to within an inch of your life. A warning: If you’re the kind of person that finds The Blizzard too populist this may not be the series for you.

** Actual dominance may not be global. Or dominant

Related: Ashley Cole joins Steven Gerrard at LA Galaxy after release by Roma

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Football transfer rumours: Antonio Conte to become Chelsea manager?

Today’s fluff is taking it on trust

Louis van Gaal has been sacked. Not only once but three times. And it’ll be four should Manchester United lose to Derby County in the Fly Emirates television spectacular tonight.

This is the world according to Van Gaal, of course, who, in tones so exasperated it’s almost as though he expects a wan observation to be framed as a Defiant Rant, has been offering arch comment on his current employment status. It’s like he doesn’t believe a word written by the press! Ah well, so much for United’s £19m bid for the 23-year-old CSKA Moscow striker and Leicester City target Ahmed Musa, then. And bad luck José, Pep, etc.

Related: Transfer window 2016: all the January Premier League deals – interactive

Continue reading...

Football transfer rumours: Antonio Conte for Chelsea manager’s role?

Today’s fluff is taking it on trust

Louis van Gaal has been sacked. Not just once, but three times. And it’ll be four should Manchester United lose to Derby County in the Fly Emirates television spectacular tonight.

This is the world according to Van Gaal, of course, who, in tones so exasperated it’s almost as though he expects a wan observation to be framed as a Defiant Rant, has been offering arch comment on his current employment status. It’s like he doesn’t believe a word written by the press! Ah well, so much for United’s £19m bid for 23-year-old CSKA Moscow striker and Leicester City target Ahmed Musa, then. And bad luck José, Pep, etc.

Related: Transfer window 2016: all the January Premier League deals – interactive

Continue reading...