Scott Murray's Blog, page 159

February 8, 2017

The Fiver | Where are the controversies? The zingers? The attention-seeking shapes?

In today’s Fiver: Claudio Ranieri, Lambos in Loughton and a Bayern funk

All the greatest and most popular leaders through the ages have been blessed with the entertainment gene. Take US presidents, for example. Ronald Reagan was a star of the silver screen during Hollywood’s golden era. Barack Obama could deliver a well-timed joke on the nightly talk shows. And the main guy from that affectionate Richard Nixon tribute show that’s running right now seems to be getting some really good notices.

Related: Relegation would not taint Leicester’s title win, it would add to the legend | Scott Murray

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Published on February 08, 2017 08:00

Relegation would not taint Leicester’s title win, it would add to the legend | Scott Murray

The Premier League triumph of Claudio Ranieri’s side is the greatest sporting story ever told. Going down would put the finishing touches on a three-season act of narrative purity, unlikely ever to be repeated

Just ask the Atlanta Falcons: once the prospect of career-defining ignominy heaves into view, it can be pretty damn difficult to stop the old noggin from whirling lickety-split, find a moment to compose yourself, take a breath, and snap out of the death spiral.

So what should head-addled Leicester City do to avoid spinning out of this season’s Premier League? Make a tactical switch or two? Possibly. Hold full and frank clear-the-air talks at the training ground? Perhaps. Change the manager? It’s an option, sure, but let’s show a good man some respect. Maybe it’d be easier to tackle the problem at source: isolate and reduce the fear, and in doing so, make the bogeyman far easier to dodge. Here’s the question, then: would going down really be the end of the world for Leicester?

Related: Claudio Ranieri keeps faith in Leicester City ‘warriors’ to fight back

Related: Rudderless Leicester kindle serious doubts over Claudio Ranieri’s future | Stuart James

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Published on February 08, 2017 02:55

December 15, 2016

The Fiver Christmas Awards 2016

Give the one you love something special this year: a free subscription to The Fiver. The gift that never starts giving

2016: it was a very bad year. Brexit and Trump. Terrorism and global warming. The Zika virus and James Corden’s Christmas song. And all those celebrity deaths! Bowie, Prince, Ali, Arnold Palmer, George Martin, Harper Lee, Victoria Wood, Garry Shandling, Leonard Cohen, the guy who played the solo on Hound Dog, the woman who belted out La Marseillaise in Casablanca, two-thirds of Emerson, Lake and Palmer, and of course dear old Rob Rensenbrink. But chin up! The year hasn’t been a total write-off. There’s been plenty to celebrate in 2016, too. So for the umpteenth year running – we’re too jaded to count – it’s time for The Fiver’s famous Xmas Awards! Hooray! Yay! Hic!

Related: Joey Barton: ‘If someone is looking for conflict I won’t shy away from it – ever’ | Donald McRae

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Published on December 15, 2016 04:30

December 14, 2016

Crystal Palace 1-2 Manchester United: Premier League – as it happened

Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored late to win a match peppered with dreadful refereeing decisions.

10.09pm GMT

Related: Zlatan Ibrahimovic late goal gives Manchester United win at Crystal Palace

9.53pm GMT

And that’s that! United win it late. They almost certainly deserved it on the balance of play, if not quite the balance of refereeing decisions. But they were by far the better team tonight. They’ve won two Premier League matches in a row for the first time since August. They stay sixth, in touch with the leading pack. Palace are 16th, meanwhile, still with many worries, though they probably shouldn’t beat themselves up for losing a match in which they had legitimate grievances.

9.51pm GMT

90 min +3: Palace are struggling to get hold of the ball. Whistles from the away end.

9.50pm GMT

90 min +2: United take an age over a throw down the right, Rashford having earned it with a powerful run. Clever game management. Time is their friend.

9.49pm GMT

90 min +1: The first 60 seconds are all whittled away by United in Palace’s half. The away fans giving it plenty.

9.48pm GMT

90 min: There will be four added minutes.

9.48pm GMT

89 min: Just before what is surely the winner, Palace made their last change, Campbell coming on for McArthur.

9.47pm GMT

What a finish! Blind drifts in from the left, and finds Pogba, who slides a pass down the channel to release Ibrahimovic into the box. The big Swede faces a tight angle, but leans back and lashes a willowy effort across Hennessey and into the right-hand side of the net! All that pressure has finally told!

9.45pm GMT

86 min: Pogba blooters long down the left for Ibrahimovic, who works his way into the box but has his shot blocked the minute it leaves his boot. Delaney with the fine defence there. And then another wave of attack. Ibrahimovic, on the left of the Palace D, lays off for the in-rushing Pogba. McArthur eases him out of the way. Pogba crashes to the floor. It’s not a foul, it’s not a dive. We move on.

9.42pm GMT

84 min: Rashford is booked for leaving a foot in on McArthur. The young man can have no complaints, and to be fair doesn’t bother arguing.

9.40pm GMT

83 min: The first lull of the evening? What a time to have it.

9.39pm GMT

81 min: Both teams make a change. Fryers comes on for Lee, while Rashford replaces Rooney. No club-record-equalling goal for the United captain tonight. In the stands, Sir Bobby looks on impassively.

9.38pm GMT

79 min: Ibrahimovic glides in from the right and flicks a cute ball down the channel for Lingard, who thrashes a first-time shot towards the bottom right. Hennessey parries well, and the corner comes to nothing. But United are beginning to turn the screw again. Palace are beginning to give up chances.

9.36pm GMT

78 min: A corner for United on the right. It’s hit deep. Rojo nearly guides a header into the top left, but his effort floats just wide. Imagine the reaction if he gets the winner.

9.35pm GMT

77 min: Some footage of Ibrahimovic planting his elbow in Cabaye’s startled coupon, during the build-up to Rooney’s effort just after the Palace goal. Probably worth nothing more than a stern chat - the pair were contesting a loose ball in midfield - but it doesn’t earn even that.

9.34pm GMT

76 min: A couple of scrambles in the Palace box as United turn up the heat again. Rooney forces Ledley into the concession of a corner on the right. Then Pogba twists and turns just to the left of goal, only to run the ball out of play.

9.33pm GMT

73 min: Lingard has replaced Mata, by the way. Rooney - who could easily have been booked himself a few minutes ago for getting up in the ref’s grille - miskicks from eight yards. A decent cross from the right by Darmian comes to nothing.

9.31pm GMT

72 min: And another slightly dubious one, as Delaney is booked for what looked like a decent tackle on Herrera in the midfield. This is such a strange game.

9.30pm GMT

70 min: And there’s more for United to complain about, as they have a good goal disallowed! Herrera, down the left, floats high towards Rojo, rising high on the right-hand corner of the six-yard box. Rojo heads down for Mata, who sweeps home. But the flag goes up. It may be - I stress may be - that Rojo was about 0.00000001mm in front of his man just as Herrera crossed. But even if that was the case, it was so close that you have to give the attacking side the benefit of the doubt. United don’t get it. The referee and his assistants are having a shocker tonight. They’ve got just about every decision wrong!

9.28pm GMT

69 min: ... the ball’s surely going to be headed powerfully goalwards by Rojo. But Ledley, with his back to goal, elbows the ball away from Rojo’s startled face. It should have been a penalty, but it’s not given. United are fuming, and Pogba’s booked for complaining.

9.27pm GMT

68 min: United respond excellently, Rooney dropping a shoulder and unleashing a screamer towards the top left. Hennessey extends himself to tip round the post. And from the corner...

9.25pm GMT

What a lovely passing move this is! The free kick, from the right, is cleared by United. But Ward recycles possession down the left and cuts inside, laying off for Delaney, who back-flicks a first-time ball down the channel to release McArthur into the box. McArthur tucks the ball into the bottom left, very tidily indeed. But that was all about the flick from Delaney! What a gorgeous piece of skill!

9.23pm GMT

65 min: A pass fizzed down the right wing for Benteke, who has his back to the United goal. He’s upended by Rojo from behind. On the touchline, Alan Pardew demands a second yellow for the player, who really is trying it on. But it’s just a free kick. From which...

9.21pm GMT

63 min: From the resulting corner, floated into the box, Dann wins a header. But there’s no power in his effort, which sails serenely towards the top right. De Gea plucks it from the sky,

9.20pm GMT

62 min: Another rare spell of possession for Palace. But it’s all in the middle of the pitch, and there’s not a whole lot of intricate movement going on up front. Pass, pass, pass, nothing. But then suddenly Ledley and McArthur decide to step up the pace. Ledley cuts in from the right and slips the ball inside for McArthur, who sends a heatseeker towards the top right. De Gea, at full stretch, fingertips marvellously round the post.

9.17pm GMT

59 min: Ibrahimovic rises on the edge of the Palace D and cushions a header down for Mata, who nearly returns the favour with a cute back-heel. But Delaney reads the intent, and sashays clear with the ball.

9.16pm GMT

58 min: From the resulting free kick, 25 yards out, Ibrahimovic shanks a hilariously poor effort 25 yards to the right of goal. A little something for the home crowd to enjoy at last. Ibrahimovic shrugs in his trademark insouciant style.

9.14pm GMT

56 min: McArthur barges Rooney to the floor as the United striker makes good down the middle. A common or garden free kick, though Rooney, falling, clanks accidentally into Delaney’s standing leg, and takes a right whack on his knee. It looks as though he’ll be OK, as he’s up and about after a fashion, though he’s grimacing quite a lot.

9.13pm GMT

55 min: The United travelling support, always one of the noisiest in the land, are belting out their festive Cantona number. With extra gusto at this particular ground, one would imagine.

9.12pm GMT

53 min: Ledley cuts in from the left and swings a ball into the United box for Benteke. Jones leverages his jump by putting both hands on Benteke’s shoulders. It would have been the softest penalty imaginable, but you’ve seen them given, especially if a referee’s got a previous mistake worming around in his brain. But Palace don’t get the gift. To be fair, they don’t really complain.

9.10pm GMT

52 min: Nope, he can’t continue, though United fans will be pleased to hear that he’s able to walk off and doesn’t look in serious pain. Darmian comes on in his stead.

9.09pm GMT

51 min: United respond with some possession of their own. Carrick pings the ball this way and that, before chipping one down the inside-right channel, nearly releasing Bailly. But the defender checks his run, the ball flies out for a goal kick, and then he’s down holding his leg again. For the third time this evening, this doesn’t look promising for Bailly.

9.07pm GMT

48 min: Palace are seeing a lot more of the ball in this half. Admittedly the data set isn’t too large yet. Baby steps, though. Cabaye, down the left, floats a long cross into the middle. Neither Jones nor Rojo look particularly comfortable under it as the ball drops, but Benteke’s kind of under it as well, and though he gets his head on the ball, he can’t generate any power and his effort floats harmlessly wide right.

9.04pm GMT

46 min: Nearly an instant impact by Ledley! Benteke chases after a cross that’s too strong from the right. He checks back down the left and pings the ball inside for Ledley, who shifts his feet and launches a no-backlift riser towards the top right. Not quite on target, and De Gea had it covered, but that’s already better from Palace, who didn’t hit a shot in anger during the first half.

9.03pm GMT

And we’re off again! An almost certainly livid Crystal Palace get the ball rolling for the second half. United should be a man down, while their goal shouldn’t have stood. Then again, Lee’s challenge on Bailly wasn’t too clever either. Still, the hosts are in moral credit, even if the visitors have the advantage on the actual scoreboard. Can Palace channel their frustration in a positive manner? This could be an interesting half all right. Ledley is on for Flamini.

8.50pm GMT

Well, a very suspicious goal there at the end of the half. Thing is, though, United deserve to be in the lead on the balance of play. And down to ten men. Those two incidents probably qualify as talking points. What a moral maze.

8.48pm GMT

Mata swings it into the box. Ibrahimovic, on the edge of the six-yard box, chests it down for Pogba by turning his body left to right. There’s a bit of arm in there. Also, Pogba looks an inch or two offside as the ball drops to him. But the flag stays down, and Pogba sweeps home! Palace won’t be very happy with that at all.

8.47pm GMT

45 min +1: One added minute. And it’s a complete disaster for Palace. First, Kelly is booked for stamping on Blind’s foot from behind. And from the free kick out on the left...

8.46pm GMT

45 min: Zaha and Lee are two-on-one down the Palace right. They take turns to work space, before taking too long to cross and checking back. Eventually Zaha, at the third time of asking, breaks clear. He’s got Benteke and McArthur in the middle, but blooters a useless cross over everyone and harmlessly towards Blind on the other wing.

8.43pm GMT

42 min: United are back on the front foot. Pogba floats a pass from left to right for Bailly, who is in acres. He can’t quite find Rooney in the middle. Then Pogba is released into the box by a lovely floated pass from Carrick. He opens his body and sidefoots powerfully goalwards. Hennessey somehow parries clear with his knees. Then, in a third phase of attack, Mata very nearly hits the target with a snapshot from a tight position on the right. But not quite. Palace have been hanging on for the most part here.

8.41pm GMT

39 min: Rojo should have been sent off for a two-footed lunge at Everton the other week, and once again he escapes a red card for a similar challenge. He’s off the ground, studs up, out of control, and heading for Zaha’s leg. He doesn’t connect, but only because Zaha manages to abort his mission for the ball. Rojo should be walking. Instead, it’s just a yellow. And a free kick, which is whipped into the United area from the right. Benetke gets eyebrows on the ball, and McArthur blasts hysterically wide from the left-hand corner of the six-yard box.

8.39pm GMT

38 min: This is good end-to-end fun now. Palace nearly undo United by making like it’s 1991 all over again, a big, basic hoof down the middle which Rojo and Jones misread. Zaha is inches away from connecting. Then down the other end, Pogba chips down the right channel for Rooney, who nearly hooks over his shoulder and into the top right. Hennessey pushes it round the post brilliantly, and the corner is cleared.

8.37pm GMT

36 min: Ibrahimovic picks up possession 35 yards from goal. He sends a dipping screamer goalwards, but it’s deflected well wide right for a corner. From the set piece, Pogba rises above Dann, but doesn’t connect properly and Hennessey claims.

8.35pm GMT

35 min: Cabaye looks for Benteke at the far stick. Nobody bothers attacking the curling cross, though, and Pogba heads clear with ease.

8.34pm GMT

34 min: Rojo and Zaha contest a long ball. Rojo idiotically barges Zaha to the floor, gifting Palace a free kick 30 yards from goal, out on the right. Cabaye will take, aiming for a loaded box.

8.33pm GMT

32 min: The first sustained period of possession for Palace in the United half. Kelly finds a bit of space down the right, but his cross is blocked by Rooney. Zaha twists adroitly down the left, but his pullback from the byline is all over the shop. Finally Zaha has another go from the same wing, but his looping cross, intended for Benteke, is easily snaffled by De Gea.

8.30pm GMT

30 min: Rooney miscontrols on the edge of the Palace area when a shot was on. The ball very nearly breaks forward to Ibrahimovic, who was sniffing around cleverly, but Hennessey is off his line quickly to smother. A real sense that it’s just a matter of time for United, something reflected by the away support giving it plenty, drowning out the usually noisy Selhurst faithful.

8.29pm GMT

28 min: A free kick for Palace in the midfield allows them to load the United box and lump it forward. Benteke rises high and beats Carrick to a header, the latter falling to the floor, but the pressure’s relieved with a slightly generous free kick. Benteke simply timed his leap better. But that’s a rare sortie upfield for the home side, who are otherwise struggling to get into this game. United are well on top, applying all the pressure.

8.27pm GMT

25 min: Herrera dances down the right and nearly dribbles his way into the box in ever decreasing circles. He eventually gets dizzy and Ward steps up to clear. He shifts the ball upfield to Cabaye, who executes a pathetic dive near Pogba in the centre circle. He should be booked for his sauce, and Pogba’s waving an imaginary card, but a real one’s not coming out.

8.24pm GMT

23 min: Bailly is up and fully functional again. And he’s racing down the right, all the way to the byline. He pulls a fine low ball back into the box. He nearly finds Mata, but Cabaye has read the danger and steps in to intercept.

8.23pm GMT

22 min: Carrick is down now, rolling around. That was more of a 50-50 thing with Benteke, though the striker gets a good talking to nevertheless. This is beginning to get heated, and it’s woken the crowd up. United had done well to quieten them down up to this point.

8.22pm GMT

20 min: Bailly has kept going, but now he’s down on the floor holding that left knee again. It’s been kicked this time, studded by a reckless - though I would stress accidental - challenge by Lee. Lack of intent or no, that wasn’t a good challenge, arguably out of control. It should have been at least a yellow; on another night it could even have been a red.

8.20pm GMT

19 min: United are coming at Palace from all angles. A deep cross from the left by Pogba flies out of play to the right of the Palace goal. Ibrahimovic wasn’t far away from that.

8.19pm GMT

18 min: Ibrahimovic, deep on the right, pitching-wedges a lovely diagonal ball into the box, very nearly finding the head of Rooney on the penalty spot. Again, not quite. But United are playing some good-looking stuff right now. Only the final ball is lacking. Palace aren’t in this at all.

8.18pm GMT

16 min: Pogba turns quickly down the inside-left channel and strides into the box. He thinks about shooting, but lays down the channel to Mata, who has scuttled infield from the wing. Mata reaches the byline and chips inside with a view to finding Ibrahimovic’s head, six yards out. It’s too high, but finds Herrera on the right-hand edge of the D. Herrera flashes a hysterical shot miles over the bar.

8.15pm GMT

14 min: Finally a moment for Palace in the United half. Jones plays a loose ball which is picked up by an opportunistic Benteke, 30 yards out down the inside-right channel. Benteke shuffles his feet quickly and cleverly, and nearly breaks into the box, but Rojo does just enough to irritate him, and the ball rolls through to De Gea.

8.13pm GMT

13 min: Zaha steals the ball off Rooney and looks to break from deep inside his own half. Herrera blocks him legally and makes off the other way. He thinks about shooting from the edge of the box but can’t get anything away. But United are soon coming back at Palace, Rooney cutting in from the left and giving Pogba the ball. Pogba, from the best part of 30 yards, tries to whip one into the top right. Not quite. Not so far away either, though.

8.11pm GMT

11 min: United are utterly dominant. Blind and Rooney combine down the left, the former then nearly releasing Mata along the other wing with a delicious crossfield pass. It’s inches away from coming off. Palace clear their lines. But they can’t get a sniff at the minute.

8.10pm GMT

9 min: Ibrahimovic tries to burst his way clear down the middle. He reaches the edge of the Palace box, but by the time he gets there, he’s got four red-and-blue shirts around him. The ball breaks out of the swarm and through to Hennessey. “There are many fine budget hotels within a short range of Selhurst Park – the squad could bond with their dedicated fan base in one of the nearby pubs as well. Send my suggestion along to Mourinho, would you?” Tracy Mohr, there, deliberately pressing United fans’ buttons.

8.08pm GMT

7 min: Bailly gets up. For a second it looks as though he’s going to be replaced by Darmian, but he walks off gingerly, before coming back on. He doesn’t look totally happy, though. Darmian continues to warm up, just in case. For the record: Bailly went up for a high ball with Lee; there was no contact, but he seemed to jar his knee when landing.

8.06pm GMT

6 min: This will be a concern for United, though. Eric Bailly has gone down off the ball, and is holding his left knee, looking very unhappy. He turns and looks anxiously at his bench.

8.05pm GMT

5 min: Palace have hardly had a touch yet. Herrera, Rooney and Mata triangulate at speed down the inside-right channel. Eventually Mata, on the right-hand corner of the Palace area, clips a cross inside for Rooney, who attempts to steer a header towards the top right. It’s high and wide, but that was a smooth move.

8.04pm GMT

3 min: The set piece comes to nothing. Ibrahimovic meets it, beating Dann this time but heading lamely at Hennessey. But United have started very confidently. There’s already a bit of strut about them, a dip in their hip and a glide in their stride. The sort of self-assurance that was missing against, say, Watford earlier in the season. A sense that things are beginning to click.

8.02pm GMT

2 min: So after 90 seconds of United possession, Bailly creams a long ball forward. Ibrahimovic very nearly gets clear into the area, but Dann rises to head the ball behind for a corner on the right instead.

8.01pm GMT

And we’re off! United get things going, and stroke it around the back awhile. Everyone gets a touch. Herrera tries to get something going down the right, with a couple of no-nonsense probes, but his passes to Ibrahimovic and Mata are just fired straight back to him. United go backwards and stroke it around some more.

7.58pm GMT

It’s hardly breaking news, but there’s a wonderful atmosphere at Selhurst Park. They sure know how to do these things round here. The home support belting out the Dave Clark Five. A strobe light show. An eagle. The home heroes are in their red-and-blue striped kit, forcing the visitors out of their famous red shirts and into third-choice white and black. It’s a cold, crisp, clear night in south London. We’ll be off in a minute!

7.27pm GMT

United finally made it to the stadium, pretty much the minute your super soaraway MBM was telling you they weren’t there yet. Five past the hour. But we did also say everything would be fine in the long run, so it’s swings and roundabouts. A score draw. Whether this means we’ll hear from Jose Mourinho before the game, or he’s too flustered to speak, only time will tell. But in the meantime, here’s some hot chat from Alan Pardew. “The team I have selected has hopefully surprised their manager. I’m trying to give him some problems, because I know how thorough he can be. So hopefully that’ll upset him, and give us a good start in the game. Mathieu Flamini has played 400 games in the Premier League, so that should speak for itself. It’s a tall order for him, having not played much this season, but hopefully he’ll fly out of the blocks.”

7.17pm GMT

Three changes to the Palace team that kicked off the 3-3 draw at Hull City last weekend. Andros Townsend, Joe Ledley and Jason Puncheon are replaced by Mathieu Flamini, Yohan Cabaye and Lee Chung-Yong.

Manchester United make four swaps from the XI which started their 1-0 victory over Tottenham Hotspur on Sunday afternoon. The injured Henrikh Mkhitaryan is the big miss, with Matteo Darmian, Luis Antonio Valencia and Anthony Martial also standing down. Eric Bailly, Daley Blind, Juan Mata and Wayne Rooney step up.

7.07pm GMT

Crystal Palace: Hennessey, Ward, Dann, Delaney, Kelly, McArthur, Flamini, Cabaye, Lee, Benteke, Zaha.
Subs: Speroni, Campbell, Townsend, Ledley, Fryers, Husin, Wan Bissaka.

Manchester United: de Gea, Bailly, Jones, Rojo, Blind, Herrera, Carrick, Pogba, Mata, Ibrahimovic, Rooney.
Subs: Lingard, Young, Rashford, Romero, Fellaini, Schweinsteiger, Darmian.

7.05pm GMT

Word is that Manchester United are stuck in terrible traffic on their way to Selhurst Park. Many folk will have given up on the trains round that way, of course, what with those clowns at Southern running the show. United are making a habit of this, mind, having rocked up late to White Hart Lane last season. Sure all will be fine in the long run. Teams soon!

1.40pm GMT

All of a sudden, life doesn’t seem so bad for Manchester United. The semis of the League Cup. A good draw in Europe. And they’ve finally worked out how to hang onto a 1-0 lead. OK, so they’re not playing with the free-flowing ease of Ernest Mangnall’s 1908 championship team quite yet, never mind Matt Busby’s 1948 cup winners or Alex Ferguson’s whirlwind side of 1994. But they’re not far away from clicking either. It was only a few weeks ago when the punditocracy launched an emergency search for Jose Mourinho’s mojo. Now there are signs he’s slowly piecing together a team that’ll someday earn him a spot on that super-elite list of United title winners alongside Mangnall, Busby and Ferguson. Maybe not this season. Very possibly next. Then again, a 13-point gap in December... it’s not completely insurmountable, is it? So you never know. Mourinho won’t have given up the chase, you can be damn sure of that.

Whether Crystal Palace represent a potential banana skin is a moot point. They haven’t beaten United at Selhurst Park since a 3-0 win in May 1991, and that was when the visitors were making their preparations for a Cup Winners Cup final against Barcelona. Recent form isn’t the hosts’ friend either. Palace lost six Premier League matches in a row recently, while last weekend they required a last-minute equaliser to scramble a point at Hull City. But on the other hand, they won their last home match comfortably, 3-0 over the usually parsimonious Saints, and their otherwise dismal run of results obscures the fact they’ve been in the goals: 15 in the last six matches. That’s one more than Chelsea and Arsenal over the same period, and only two less than Liverpool. Of course, they’ve conceded 17 during that time too, but they’re up against it tonight, so it’s only fair we accentuate their positives. Yes, most of the pointers suggest United should win this one easily enough. But this is football, ladies and gents. Alan Pardew won’t have written off a chance to avenge last May’s cup final defeat, you can be damn sure of that.

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Published on December 14, 2016 13:57

December 10, 2016

Arsenal 3-1 Stoke City, Premier League and more: clockwatch – as it happened

Eighteen goals in just four 3pm Premier League kick-offs, as Arsenal knock Chelsea off the top of the table.

6.06pm GMT

Related: Mesut Özil fires Arsenal past Stoke City and to the top of the table

Related: Watford and Stefano Okaka rally to hold off Everton and Romelu Lukaku

Related: Fernando Llorente double steers Swansea to vital win over Sunderland

Related: Bournemouth crash back to earth as George Boyd goal gives Burnley win

Related: Fraizer Campbell’s late leveller rescues Crystal Palace after Hull heroics

5.06pm GMT

Phew! What an afternoon of free-flowing entertainment! Arsenal go top of the Premier League. Swansea City haul themselves out of the relegation zone and are replaced at the bottom by Sunderland. West Ham United move into the drop zone. Newcastle United take over at the top of the Championship, while Rangers move to within a mere eight points of Celtic, having played, oh, just the three games more. But they’re snug in second now, Aberdeen having dropped points at home.

And if that wasn’t enough to sate your appetite, the struggling Premier League champions Leicester take on title hopefuls Manchester City in a few minutes. Mr Rob Smyth is your genial host. What are you waiting for?

Related: Leicester City v Manchester City: Premier League – live!

5.02pm GMT

Premier League: Arsenal 3-1 Stoke; Burnley 3-2 Bournemouth; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace; Swansea 3-0 Sunderland; Watford 3-2 Everton.

Championship: Aston Villa 1-0 Wigan; Barnsley 2-1 Norwich; Brentford 2-1 Burton; Huddersfield 2-1 Bristol City; Ipswich 1-1 Cardiff; Newcastle 4-0 Birmingham; Reading 2-1 Sheffield Wednesday; Rotherham 1-0 QPR; Wolves 4-4 Fulham.

4.58pm GMT

Final scores in a minute, but worth mentioning this one at Molineux: Wolverhampton Wanderers and Fulham have drawn 4-4! Fulham were 3-1 up at half time, Wolves looked to have turned it around, sealing a win with a 90th-minute Dave Edwards goal, but Floyd Ayite scored in the fourth minute of added time to earn a draw for the Cottagers!

4.55pm GMT

Both teams looked like losing that. I suppose you could spin that round and say both teams looked like winning it, but there’s a reason they’re near the bottom. A precious point, let’s put it that way.

4.53pm GMT

Burnley meanwhile are snug in mid-table after holding on. No big comeback for the Cherries this week!

4.52pm GMT

Arsenal will be top of the Premier League tonight, edging past Chelsea on goal difference!

4.51pm GMT

What a fine result this is for Swansea! The David Moyes revival stalls.

4.49pm GMT

Hello! Is another daft comeback on?! Afobe’s just had a goal disallowed, but no matter, because in the next attack, Charlie Daniels halves the deficit! What an afternoon of Premier League football this is! What a second half!

4.48pm GMT

Zaha with his second assist of the game. Fraizer Campbell gets a dramatic equaliser! There’s still one minute to go plus stoppages, so with Palace playing that’s time for at least another three goals. Don’t go anywhere!

4.45pm GMT

Bournemouth aren’t threatening another comeback from 3-1 down. Then again, Burnley don’t have Lucas in central defence.

4.42pm GMT

A second goal for the big Spaniard. Swansea are such a strange side right now: 5-4, 0-5, 3-0. Worth the admission price, huh.

4.40pm GMT

A hat-trick for Dwight Gayle. Newcastle lead Birmingham 4-0, and will be reclaiming the top spot in style. This is a fine response to a poor series of results. “I suspect that had Ian Cathro been Portuguese, or Italian, he’d have been given a warmer welcome than he has by some journos and ex players up here, who obviously like their managers to be grizzled veterans with a sackful of medals,” writes Simon McMahon. “You know, like Arrigo Sacchi, and Jose Mourinho.”

4.38pm GMT

Christian Benteke asks for a penalty. He doesn’t get it. Hull race up the other end, where after a series of non-existent challenges, Jake Livermore puts the hosts back in front! What a topsy-turvy match this is! Crystal Palace really can’t hold onto a lead.

4.35pm GMT

Alex Iwobi charges in from the left. He exchanges passes with Alexis Sanchez, bursts into the box, and steers a low fizzer into the bottom right! Lovely finish! And as things stand, Arsenal are going top tonight on goal difference from Chelsea, who play West Brom at Stamford Bridge tomorrow. Stoke had been pressing for an equaliser, too.

Related: Alex Iwobi: ‘I did extra training. My mum made me do kick-ups in the living room’

4.33pm GMT

George Boyd has just threaded one into the corner, and surely this match is over. But then that’s what Liverpool thought at this stage last week.

4.32pm GMT

What a result it could be. Pretty much from the restart, Adama Diomande beats a couple of men and drifts a finish over Wayne Hennessey. Palace just can’t hold onto a lead!

4.30pm GMT

Palace were desperately unlucky to be losing at half time, having conceded a penalty that never should have been. But they’ve bounced back marvellously, and now Wilfried Zaha, who assisted their equaliser by winning a penalty, has just battered Palace into the lead! What a huge result this could be!

4.28pm GMT

Bournemouth’s Joshua King has just battered a wonderful chance for an equaliser straight at Burnley keeper Tom Heaton. Stoke’s Mame Biram Diouf has passed up a chance to equalise at Arsenal, heading lamely from six yards. And an equaliser for Caley Thistle against the Accies. Larnell Cole with that. It’s quiet in Scotland.

4.22pm GMT

After that early second-half goal frenzy, it’s all gone a bit quiet. Arsenal are pushing Stoke back a lot, in heavy rain. But the visitors are holding their shape in the crucial areas. Alexis Sanchez doing a lot of probing.

4.16pm GMT

Yoan Gouffran has given Newcastle United a 3-0 lead over Birmingham; Rafa Benitez’s side will be going back to the top of the Championship tonight. Barrie McKay meanwhile has put Rangers 2-0 up over the Hearts team managed by Ian Cathro, 30. Kris Boyd will be even happier.

4.14pm GMT

Daylight between the Swans and the Black Cats! As things stand, Sunderland will be crashing back to the bottom of the table, with West Ham United just one place above them. It’s looking a lot tighter down there than it did a few weeks ago.

4.12pm GMT

Snodgrass, who went over very easily for Hull’s penalty, brings Wilfried Zaha down. Karma, baby. Christian Benteke steps up and eases the spot kick into the net, no bother.

4.11pm GMT

A Wayne Routledge cross, meant for Fernando Llorente, is handled by Jason Denayer. Close range, so some controversy, but there it is. Sigurdsson makes no mistake.

4.09pm GMT

How’s about this, then? Mesut Ozil guides a delicate header - an Ozil header - over Lee Grant from the edge of the area. Stoke had started the half well, too, Erik Pieters very nearly converting a Shaqiri right-wing cross at the far stick.

4.03pm GMT

Bovril and pints of heavy having been chugged - and that’s just in the changing rooms - the matches get underway again. Second-half goal rush, here we come!

3.54pm GMT

3.51pm GMT

The Premier League half-times: Arsenal 1-1 Stoke City; Burnley 2-1 Bournemouth; Hull City 1-0 Crystal Palace; Swansea City 0-0 Sunderland. Earlier in the day, Watford beat Everton 3-2.

3.48pm GMT

Benik Afobe ends a long personal drought by finishing a move started by the Premier League’s new creative genius, Ryan ‘Garrincha’ Fraser. Another Cherries comeback is on, then!

3.43pm GMT

The Gunners pass it around quite a lot, knocking the ball hither and yon in the patient style. Then suddenly Hector Bellerin - who came on earlier for an injured Mustafi - finds space down the right, fires a low cross towards the near post, and Walcott flicks into the bottom-right corner with power and precision. That was a wonderful team goal.

3.41pm GMT

A second goal for Dwight Gayle at St James’ Park. Newcastle are 2-0 up over Birmingham. Meanwhile not much has been going on at a drenched Liberty Stadium. It’s still 0-0 between Swansea and Sunderland, though Jordi Amat has just sent a close-range header over the bar from a Gylfi Sigurðsson free kick.

3.37pm GMT

“Still 0-0 in the League Two mid-table clash between Mansfield and Colchester,” reports Steve Dickens. “But not am not sure how long we’ve been playing for.”

3.34pm GMT

Rob Kiernan has given Rangers the lead over a Hearts team now managed by Ian Cathro, 30. Kris Boyd will be chuffed.

3.32pm GMT

Granit Xhaka has stuck an elbow into Joe Allen’s startled coupon. A bit of a kerfuffle on the touchline involving Arsene Wenger as the referee points to the spot. That’s the only punishment. Charlie Adam strokes the spot kick into the bottom corner, and a first win at Arsenal since 1981 is currently on for Stoke City!

3.29pm GMT

Robert Snodgrass has flopped over Scott Dann’s leg at the KCOM Stadium. A controversial one this. Dann’s booked for arguing. And it’s a double whammy, as Snodgrass puts the spot kick away!

3.22pm GMT

Ali Crawford has put the Hamilton Accies 1-0 up at Inverness Caledonian Thistle. The Caley Jags are in a bit of bother this season, relegation a very real prospect just a couple of seasons after winning the Scottish Cup. Meanwhile Dwight Gayle has just opened the scoring for Newcastle United against Birmingham City. The Toon have hit a bit of a sticky patch lately, having lost their last two in the League plus their League Cup quarter final against Hull. A win at St James’ Park today will put them back on top of the Championship, though, having been knocked off last night after Brighton’s win over Leeds.

3.18pm GMT

If the first goal was spectacular, this one is scrappy: Stephen Ward pokes home after Artur Boruc fumbles in the middle of a penalty-box melee. Now the Bournemouth keeper knows how Loris Karius feels. A magnificent start by the Clarets, though of course a cornered Bournemouth is a dangerous Bournemouth. They’ll need another fine comeback if they’re to get anything out of this.

3.15pm GMT

Arsenal have come back at Stoke a wee bit, Theo Walcott going close after a jaunty skitter down the wing. But never mind that, because...

3.14pm GMT

A long blooter upfield by Heaton, a header down, and a spectacular volley into the top corner by the former Derby man Jeff Hendrick! Burnley went into the lead against Manchester City the other week with a not dissimilar goal, but couldn’t hold on. Can they manage it this time against a team who came back from the dead last week?

3.12pm GMT

Related: Christmas sports gift guide: shoes, shirts and personalised earphones

3.08pm GMT

Our man Simon McMahon will be happy. Tope Obadeyi has scored the opener for Dundee United at Ayr after six minutes. Otherwise, the football pitches of England and Scotland are quiet places right now. You should be doing your Christmas shopping, anyway, not manically refreshing this page.

3.06pm GMT

Stoke City have started strongly at Ashburton Grove. Three corners already, plus a half-chance for Xherdan Shaqiri and a long-range volley by Marc Muniesa fingertipped over the bar by Petr Cech. Stoke haven’t won at Arsenal since 1981, so they’re wrestling with history this afternoon. But this is a decent start.

3.02pm GMT

Here we go then! Hands have been shaken, coins tossed, whistles blown. We’re up and running all across the country. Also there’s a result in League One, where AFC Wimbledon have lost 1-0 at the not quite so righteous MK Dons. A 63rd-minute Dean Bowditch penalty the decider there.

Related: Why I won’t be going to watch my beloved AFC Wimbledon at MK Dons | Daffydd Bynon

2.37pm GMT

As for the Scottish Premiership, well, Celtic have won that. But there are other concerns north of the border, and with those uppermost in mind, here’s Clockwatch regular Simon McMahon: “Game of the day in the Scottish Championship is Ayr United v Dundee United, the Tannadice men currently on an 11-game unbeaten streak stretching back to September, including a win over joint leaders Hibs, who are at home to Dumbarton today, in their last outing. In the Scottish Premiership Celtic beat Partick Thistle 41-0 last night to extend their lead at the top to 200 points, or something like that. Today Rangers meet Ian Cathro’s Hearts at Ibrox, the 30 year old Dundonian having left Newcastle to take up his first manager’s job with the Edinburgh club. There’s a basement battle at Dens where Dundee play Ross County, and Aberdeen host St. Johnstone. In Scottish League One it’s Brechin v East Fife, and expect fireworks in Scottish League Two as Forfar and Arbroath meet in the Angus derby.”

2.33pm GMT

There’s already been one Premier League match played this afternoon. And so much for Everton’s fast start to the season. Details? Rob Smyth, like a pint of plain, is your only man.

Related: Watford 3-2 Everton: Premier League – as it happened

2.31pm GMT

The team news, then. Arsenal make six changes from the side that started their romp in Basel the other night. Out go David Ospina, Kieran Gibbs, Rob Holding, Aaron Ramsey, Alex Iwobi and Lucas Perez; in come Petr Cech, Shkodran Mustafi, Nacho Monreal, Francis Coquelin, Theo Walcott and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. Stoke make the one switch from their 2-0 win over Burnley: Joe Allen comes in for Jonathan Walters.

Burnley make four swaps from the XI that started their defeat at Stoke. Paul Robinson, Jon Flanagan, Andre Gray and Ashley Barnes make way for Tom Heaton, Steven Defour, George Boyd and Sam Vokes. Bournemouth give substitute tormentor of Liverpool, Ryan ‘McGarrincha’ Fraser, the start he deserves, alongside Benik Afobe and Charlie Daniels. Junior Stanislas, Jack Wilshere and Josh King are the men to miss out.

2.05pm GMT

Arsenal: Cech, Gabriel, Mustafi, Koscielny, Monreal, Xhaka, Coquelin, Walcott, Ozil, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Sanchez.
Subs: Gibbs, Lucas Perez, Giroud, Ospina, Iwobi, Bellerin, Elneny.
Stoke City: Grant, Johnson, Muniesa, Martins Indi, Pieters, Allen, Imbula, Shaqiri, Adam, Arnautovic, Diouf.
Subs: Whelan, Bony, Given, Crouch, Krkic, Sobhi, Ngoy.
Referee: Lee Mason (Lancashire).

Burnley: Heaton, Lowton, Mee, Keane, Ward, Arfield, Hendrick, Marney, Defour, Boyd, Vokes.
Subs: Flanagan, Gray, Barnes, Kightly, Bamford, Robinson, Tarkowski.
AFC Bournemouth: Boruc, Francis, Steve Cook, Ake, Daniels, Adam Smith, Arter, Gosling, Fraser, Afobe, Callum Wilson.
Subs: Pugh, Brad Smith, King, Federici, Mings, Wilshere, Ibe.
Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire).

10.11am GMT

It’s a huge afternoon of classic Saturday 3pm action in the Premier League! So, OK, we’ve started today’s Clocko with a bare-faced lie. But if everyone involved with politics is allowed to gambol across post-truth terrain these days, then those inhabiting the world of sport should be allowed a slice of that hot disingenuous action too. Four matches! From a round of ten! Featuring just the one team from the top eight! Woooooooooooo-hoo!

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Published on December 10, 2016 09:08

December 8, 2016

Southampton 1-1 Hapoel Beer Sheva: Europa League – as it happened

Southampton were inches away from a dramatic victory, but it was the visitors who made it through to the knockout stage.

9.59pm GMT

And that’s that. What drama! And a heartbreaking end to Southampton’s Europa League campaign. They came so close - Yoshida was inches away from an unlikely winner - but they end Group K in third spot, pipped by Hapoel, who have the same number of points but win the head-to-head thanks to tonight’s away goal. If they’d gone for it all evening like they did in those dying moments, their dreams might still be alive. But it’s not to be. Their failure to make it to the knockout stage puts them in illustrious company - three-time European Cup winners Internazionale couldn’t get there either - but that won’t make them feel any better right now.

9.58pm GMT

90 min +3: Oh my word! Ward-Prowse finds a yard down the right and curls one onto the head of Yoshida, who heads inches past the left-hand post from six yards with the keeper rooted to the spot!

9.57pm GMT

Well, well, well, you never know! Redmond chips a ball in from the left. Ward-Prowse goes up. The ball clanks to van Dijk, on the penalty spot. He swings a peg at it. The ball deflects into the bottom right, past the wrong-footed Goresh. There’s still two minutes left!

9.55pm GMT

90 min: There will be three added minutes. Anyone for a miracle?

9.54pm GMT

89 min: Saints need something special now. They nearly get it as Tadic twists and turns down the left, earning enough space to dig out a cross. Yoshida rises to head goalwards from close range, but there’s no power in his effort and it’s straight at Goresh.

9.53pm GMT

88 min: Ward-Prowse whips one in from the right. Yoshida and Long both go up for the ball, six yards out, but Vitor wins the three-way battle and clears his lines.

9.52pm GMT

87 min: Redmond fires low and hard into the Hapoel box from the left wing. It nearly finds the feet of Yoshida, who has been thrown up front as an emergency striker.

9.50pm GMT

85 min: Davis, on the left-hand corner of the Hapoel box, lines up a shot. But it’s easily blocked, and the visitors spring upfield. But they know the clock is their very best friend right now, and opt to check back and pass it around the middle awhile. Cries of frustration ring around St Mary’s.

9.47pm GMT

83 min: The last roll of the dice for Southampton, as Hojbjerg is replaced by Ward-Prowse.

9.47pm GMT

81 min: Goresh is booked for timewasting. You can’t really blame him, I guess. Saints are in all sorts of trouble here.

9.46pm GMT

Disaster for Saints! Romeu gives the ball away 30 yards from goal, out on the Hapoel left. Shabtai picks it up and rolls a pass across the front of the box, left to right. Buzaglo races in from the wing and, on the right-hand edge of the D, fires a low shot into the bottom left! Forster had no chance, even at full stretch! And now Saints need two goals at least: they have to win this game if they’re to progress. A score draw would see the visitors through on the head-to-head, an away goal in their pocket.

9.43pm GMT

77 min: Hapoel coach Barak Bakhar gets involved in a ludicrous row with Redmond near the dugouts. “Shut up! Shut up!” he orders the Saints man. Redmond gives him a friendly calm-down tap on the shoulder, a passive-aggressive masterclass. Bakhar calms down enough to replace Korhut with Shabtai.

9.41pm GMT

75 min: Yoshida is put into trouble by a loose backwards header from Hojbjerg. He just about gets the ball back to Forster under intense pressure from Maranhao. The keeper slightly shanks his clearance, with Maranhao continuing his press. Saints get away with it. These are tense times on the south coast.

9.38pm GMT

73 min: Cedric and Tadic combine down the right. The latter swings a cross into the area. Or is it a shot? Probably a cross, but there’s nobody near it, and the ball bounces harmlessly through to Goresh.

9.36pm GMT

72 min: It gets scrappy. Nerves playing a part, no doubt.

9.35pm GMT

70 min: Now it’s Maranhao’s turn to waft a lame header wide left of goal. He’s on the end of a deep Radi cross from the right. He should have done better from the left-hand corner of the six-yard box. A timely reminder to Saints that one goal could do for their European hopes. They’d need two if Hapoel manage one.

9.34pm GMT

68 min: Before the set piece can be taken, Hapoel make a switch up front: Maranhao for Sahar. Then the corner, which finds van Dijk’s nut six yards out. He simply has to score, but under a little pressure from Goresh, eyebrows a weak effort wide left of the target.

9.32pm GMT

67 min: Redmond makes off down the left again. He’s got Bitton on toast. But his low cross is aimless and easily hacked clear. But Saints soon come back at Hapoel, Davis looking to shoot from the left-hand edge of the D. It’s deflected out for a corner on the right.

9.30pm GMT

65 min: Redmond flies down the left wing at great speed. He shows the ball to Bitton, and zips past him. He then shows it to Vitor ... and runs it out of play. A heavy touch. Without that, he’d have been free in the area, albeit facing a tight angle. The crowd groan accordingly.

9.28pm GMT

63 min: Tadic is immediately into the action, taking the ball into the Hapoel area from the right and looking to curl one into the top left. It’s blocked pretty much at source, but it looks as though the substitute has injected some extra energy into Southampton’s play. That run seems to have perked them up. Passes are suddenly fizzing around at a higher pace.

9.26pm GMT

61 min: Tzedek is booked for a very clumsy tackle on Long. It wasn’t malicious, just the actions of a galoot, his legs wrapped around the striker from behind. Not sure what he was trying to achieve there.

9.25pm GMT

59 min: The young hopeful Sims is replaced by Tadic, making his first appearance since being kicked in the face while playing for Serbia against Wales.

9.24pm GMT

58 min: Radi rolls around a lot after a 50-50 with Romeu. The referee sees nothing wrong with it, so Saints play on. The away fans don’t like it one bit, but this is how everyone else is rolling. The ball finds Hojbjerg on the left. He tries another one of his special long-range shots. He really should stop trying his special long-range shots. That one’s away to the Solent too.

9.22pm GMT

56 min: Hapoel call in Hoban, and send on Ghadir. A midfielder for a striker. The visitors are desperate for the goal that would send them through.

9.20pm GMT

55 min: Bertrand finds a yard or two down the left, and screeches a stunning low cross towards the near post. Long should get there first and flick home, but Vitor is ahead of him and bundles out for a corner. That set piece, coming in from the left, finds Long on the right-hand corner of the six-yard box. He hesitates instead of shooting, and must settle for another corner. But this one is a total waste of time.

9.18pm GMT

53 min: A free kick for Saints out on the right. Davis floats it into the area. The delivery’s not ideal, but the ball somehow squirms its way through to van Dijk, who very nearly gets a snapshot away from six yards. But Tzedek is on hand to hoof it off his toe, and out for a corner on the right. The set piece ends up at the feet of Hojbjerg, 25 yards from goal. The ball is now halfway to the Isle of Wight.

9.16pm GMT

51 min: Hoban has a dig, 20 yards from goal down the inside-right channel. His shot deflects into the path of Sahar, who momentarily has the freedom in the box to fire at goal. But he’s closed down very quickly by Yoshida, and the eventual shot harmlessly drifts into Forster’s arms.

9.14pm GMT

49 min: Cedric tears down the right, chasing after a pass from Long. He’s in space, and has time to cross, but his delivery, with four red-and-white shirts in the middle, is poor. Ogu hooks clear. St Mary’s is a quiet place, tension the top note.

9.12pm GMT

47 min: Bertrand picks up a yellow card for clattering into Buzaglo while attempting to clean up the mess left by a stray Hojbjerg pass. It’s all in the centre circle, so otherwise no drama.

9.11pm GMT

We go again! Saints get the second half underway. No changes. Sims busies himself down the right, as he so often does, and curls a soft, low ball through the Hapoel area. Davis, with his back to goal on the edge of the six-yard box, can’t bring the cross under control. Nearly.

8.56pm GMT

Half-time reading:

Related: Manchester United defeat Zorya Luhansk to advance in Europa League

8.56pm GMT

Long powers down the middle of the park, and is flipped into the air by an illegal sliding tackle from Vitor. It earns the Hapoel defender a yellow card. Redmond slaps a weak free kick straight at Goresh from 25 yards. And that’s your lot for the first 45. As things stand, Saints will be in the draw for the knockout stage of the Europa League alongside Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United. But they’re not at their fluent best, so it’ll be a tense second half. Remember: if it’s a score draw, Hapoel go through instead.

8.51pm GMT

44 min: Sims finds a yard or two down the right, and hoicks a cross towards the far post. Redmond rises on the left-hand edge of the six-yard box, but can only plant his header into the crowd to the left of the goal.

8.50pm GMT

42 min: Romeu steals the ball from Nwakaeme in the midfield, and bursts down the right wing with the visitors light at the back. Ogu yanks him back, taking a booking for the team.

8.48pm GMT

39 min: Austin trudges down the tunnel with a pained expression on his face. That looked really sore, though one suspects Austin is mainly unhappy because he wanted to battle on. God speed. He’s replaced by Shane Long.

8.47pm GMT

38 min: It’s a problem with Austin’s shoulder. Is it dislocated? He’s doing a lot of screaming as the physio works his arm this way and that. Is the doc looking to pop it back into the socket? Austin’s shouting “I’m all right! It’ll be all right!” but it doesn’t look as though he’s going to be allowed to continue.

8.45pm GMT

36 min: Redmond looks for the top-right corner from the edge of the box. Goresh batters a fine effort away at full stretch, a save to match the shot in quality. From the resulting corner, nothing happens. But Austin has landed awkwardly, and looks in a lot of pain.

8.43pm GMT

34 min: Austin and Bitton rise for a high ball in the midfield. Bitton - not for the first time this evening - goes down in a very theatrical style. He’s claiming an elbow to the face. There was a light brush, but nothing intentional, and certainly nothing that looked like a painful crump. The crowd give him pelters when he gets up, perhaps remembering the swan dive he performed early doors when tapped on the ankle by Redmond.

8.40pm GMT

32 min: Hapoel are beginning to get into this game. Sahar threatens to break past Cedric down the inside-left channel, but the defender is able to shepherd the ball out of play for a goal kick. The noise levels are significantly down, as the tension rises. It’s not a classic match by any stretch of the imagination, but you can’t take your eyes off it either.

8.38pm GMT

29 min: Yoshida gives Romeu a hospital pass just in front of the Saints area. Romeu somehow manages to retain possession and help his team clear their lines, but the crowd took a huge suck of air there. A measure of how tight things are tonight: Saints are going through as things stand, but should Hapoel get one, the hosts will need to score at least twice, and win the game.

8.35pm GMT

26 min: Hapoel balls up a free kick in Saints territory, allowing Redmond to tear up the other end on the break. He zips all the way down the inside-right channel, though Korhut holds him up and forces him a little wider. Redmond dinks a cross to the near post, but it’s too high for Romeu, and skims off the top of his noggin. That was exceptional defending by Korhut, who was the only man back.

8.33pm GMT

24 min: St Mary’s erupts in glee! It’s a penalty! Er, no it’s not, it’s offside. A collective, 30,000-strong sigh. Redmond had gone up to meet Cedric’s right-wing cross, but Austin, getting involved after faffing around in front of goal, is caught well offside. Which is what the referee was pointing for.

8.30pm GMT

22 min: A long, aimless ball hoofed upfield by Saints. Sims very nearly makes something out of nothing. He’s this close to stealing the ball off Bitton’s toe, but the Hapoel defender recovers his poise and blooters clear.

8.29pm GMT

20 min: A deep Hoban cross from the Hapoel left wing finds its way to Buzaglo, coming in from the right. Saints are light at the back, with only van Dijk anywhere near. The defender can’t stop Buzaglo creaming a shot goalwards, but it’s high and wild. Was it tipped over the bar by Forster? Possibly, though Hapoel aren’t getting the corner.

8.27pm GMT

18 min: The back of Southampton’s kit is all red. I keep expecting someone to turn round, revealing the legend DRAPER TOOLS across an all-red front. It’s Glenn Cockerill, and we’re still at the Dell. (Nothing much is happening right now, in other words.)

8.24pm GMT

16 min: Hojbjerg has a dig from distance. It’s charged down. Romeu takes up possession and curls a ball wide right for Cedric, who fizzes a cross to the near post, where Sims half connects with a header and Davis, between him and the goal, misses the chance to flick on and past Goresh. The keeper gathers.

8.22pm GMT

14 min: Cedric drops a shoulder and makes good down the right wing at speed. His deep cross looks dangerous, but with Austin sniffing around, Buzaglo steps in to clear.

8.21pm GMT

12 min: The first meaningful attack by the visitors, as Sahar drifts in from the right, past a half-arsed challenge by Romeu, and has a shot from the edge of the box deflected out for a throw on the right. Danger over. Saints have started well, but there’s a reminder that they’re facing a decent team tonight.

8.19pm GMT

10 min: Redmond skips past Bitton down the left with the greatest of ease, but then needlessly checks back instead of bombing on. A promising position comes to naught.

8.17pm GMT

8 min: A gorgeous turn on a sixpence in a tight spot by Sims. It earns him some space down the inside-right channel. He loops a cross to the far stick, where Austin very nearly gets a header goalwards from a tight angle. Saints have to settle for a corner, which comes to nothing. But this Sims already looks the real deal, admittedly from a small data set.

8.14pm GMT

6 min: Korhut breaks into the Saints box down the left on the overlap. He fires low and hard into the six-yard box. Forster does very well to parry the ball away from his near post, and Cedric hoicks clear.

8.12pm GMT

4 min: Hapoel haven’t seen much of the ball. Saints stroking it around with confidence. Redmond and Bertrand clip a couple of passes back and forth to each other down the left, but can’t get anything going yet.

8.10pm GMT

2 min: Bertrand earns Southampton the first corner of the night down the left. Redmond floats the set piece towards the far post, where Austin rises and connects. But he can’t get any power on his header, which sails calmly into the arms of Goresh. Saints begin the evening on the front foot, Sims having set the tone.

8.09pm GMT

And we’re off! The visitors Hapoel get the ball rolling. And quickly lose it. Sims embarks on a purposeful run down the right, but he’s stopped in his tracks by Korhut. He doesn’t hang about, this Sims, does he? An assist in his Premier League debut against Everton within a minute or so, and now this display of positivity. A prospect all right.

8.07pm GMT

But first, a chance to pay respects to the victims of the Associação Chapecoense de Futebol plane crash. A warm smattering of heartfelt applause, followed by a period of silence, perfectly observed.

8.04pm GMT

The teams are out! A rare old atmosphere at St Mary’s. Pop tunes pouring out of the PA by the Beatles, Queen and the Skids. Thousands of red-and-white flags fluttering in the stands. The pitch has been well watered. Ditto the fans, if the hearty singing is anything to go by. A roof-rattling version of When The Saints Go Marching In. Dixieland-on-Solent. Saints are in their famous red-and-white stripes, while Hapoel, usually themselves desirous of sporting red clobber, are forced into second-choice white. We’ll be off in a minute!

7.15pm GMT

Three changes for Southampton to the team that went down 3-0 at Crystal Palace last weekend. Maya Yoshida replaces Jose Fonte at the back, while in the midfield, James Ward-Prowse and Sofiane Boufal make way for Steven Davis and Josh Sims, the latest hot talent off the club’s seemingly never-ending production line.

Hapoel make two swaps from the side that won 5-0 against Ashdod on Saturday. Ovidiu Hoban is preferred to Michael Ohana in midfield, while Ben Sahar gets the nod up front over the Brazilian Lucio Maranhao.

7.10pm GMT

Southampton: Forster, Cedric, van Dijk, Yoshida, Bertrand, Romeu, Davis, Hojbjerg, Sims, Austin, Redmond.
Subs: Lewis, Clasie, Fonte, Long, Tadic, Ward-Prowse, McQueen.

Hapoel Be’er Sheva: Goresh, Bitton, Vitor, Tzedek, Korhut, Radi, Ogu, Hoban, Buzaglo, Sahar, Nwakaeme.
Subs: Haimov, Turjeman, Ghadir, Ohayon, Taha, Shabtai, Maranhao.

3.36pm GMT

Matchday Six of the Champions League wasn’t all that, let’s be honest. But here’s Matchday Six of the much-maligned Europa League taking up the slack! You couldn’t get a game more delicately poised than this affair between one of the most dependable teams in the Premier League and the champions of Israel. This one, ladies and gentlemen, really is on.

Here’s how things stand. Sparta Prague have already qualified as winners of Group K, while three-time European champions Internazionale have been nothing short of a risible disgrace, and are out. So the second qualifying slot is between these two sets of lads. Whoever wins tonight at St Mary’s will go through. Should the match finish as it starts, 0-0, Saints will progress on account of a better goal difference. But if it’s a score draw, Hapoel will progress on away goals in the head-to-head, as the teams drew 0-0 when they met in Israel.

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Published on December 08, 2016 14:05

The Fiver | Graeme Le Saux lost a unanimous points decision

In today’s Fiver: Champions of Best League in the World fall flat, Richard Keys doesn’t understand and Pulisball

The English have had their fair share of forgettable days in Big Cup. Sir Alex Ferguson’s first great Manchester United side were trounced 4-0 in 1994 by Romário, Hristo Stoichkov and Albert Ferrer. In 1966, Liverpool were humiliated 5-1 by Ajax in an Amsterdam pea-souper so thick Bill Shankly was able to race on to the pitch mid-game and give his players beneficial advice and a good hard clip round the lug. And on one cold Moscovian night in 1995, Graeme Le Saux lost a unanimous points decision 118-109, 118-109, 118-110. Blackburn went down 3-0 to Spartak that evening as well. What a show everyone made of themselves.

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Published on December 08, 2016 09:02

December 7, 2016

Tottenham Hotspur v CSKA Moscow: Champions League – as it happened

Spurs eased past a poor CSKA side to book their place in the knockout stage of the Europa League.

9.37pm GMT

Wembley jinx? What Wembley jinx? Spurs ran out easy winners tonight: it should have been a few more. They’ll play Europa League football in the New Year. And they won’t be coming back here next season with a complex. A fine evening’s work!

9.34pm GMT

90 min: Another rendition of When The Spurs Go Marching In. Dixieland-on-Thames. Spurs are two added minutes from a place in the knockout stage of the Europa League.

9.33pm GMT

89 min: A long hoof upfield nearly releases Strandberg on goal, but Lloris races from his area to head clear.

9.32pm GMT

88 min: Milanov very nearly hoofs the ball up into his own startled face. It’s been that sort of night for hapless CSKA.

9.30pm GMT

87 min: Spurs knock it around while looking at their good old friend the clock.

9.29pm GMT

85 min: Winks and Walker combine down the right to earn yet another corner for Spurs. Before it can be taken, Schennikov goes down with cramp, and no wonder: he’s been run ragged all evening. From the set piece, Alderweireld has another pop at goal, but his header flies over the bar.

9.27pm GMT

83 min: Harry Kane has been very impressive this evening, and he deserves to put his feet up. He’s replaced by Joshua Onomah.

9.25pm GMT

82 min: By the way, that terrible Traore miscontrol was his last poor touch of the evening. He’s been hooked for Carlos Strandberg.

9.25pm GMT

81 min: Walker very nearly releases Kane into the box with a sliderule pass down the right. Spurs are playing some very attractive stuff, but CSKA have clocked off.

9.24pm GMT

80 min: Spurs nearly make it four, first through Alli, who dribbles with purpose down the right channel and shoots from a tight angle, then from Alderweireld, who clangs a header wide right from the resulting corner.

9.23pm GMT

Kane loops a lovely cross into the CSKA box from the right. Alli rises and heads straight at the keeper, who saves well, but in falling, kicks the ball he’d pushed forward back into the net! Highly unfortunate, but the scoreline reflects Tottenham’s superiority.

9.21pm GMT

77 min: One CSKA goal, of course, would seriously change the atmosphere. A ball’s hooked into the Spurs area from the left. Vertonghen steps up, and allows Traore to take a touch on the penalty spot. But he miscontrols when it was easier to get a shot away. Then Spurs go up the other end, and...

9.19pm GMT

75 min: Spurs are knocking at the door here. Eriksen, who is bang back in form, wedges a delightful ball down the inside-right channel which drops perfectly for Kane, rushing into the area clear of the last man. He leans back, and fires a volley goalwards. Akinfeev somehow tips the effort over the crossbar, a fine save that’s the match of a magnificent Spurs move.

9.18pm GMT

74 min: Winks is tripped on the left-hand edge of the CSKA area by Vasili Berezutski. No penalty, no second booking. But a free kick in a dangerous position. Spurs load the box, but Eriksen looks to curl one directly into the bottom left. Akinfeev parries clear.

9.16pm GMT

72 min: Alderweireld is understandably not quite up to speed yet. His hesitation allows Chalov to latch onto a ball bouncing on the right-hand edge of the Spurs box. Chalov shoots for the bottom right, and the effort’s deflected inches wide of the post. The corner results in nothing, but that was very close to an equaliser.

9.15pm GMT

71 min: Tusic is replaced by Gordyusenko.

9.14pm GMT

70 min: N’Koudou is looking lively. He slips a ball down the left for Rose, who cuts back for Alli. Another chance for the young star. He opens up his body and sidefoots high and wide right from 12 yards.

9.13pm GMT

68 min: N’Koudou earns a corner on the left for Spurs, his low centre deflected out of play and away from danger. The set piece comes to nothing, but Spurs fans are in fine voice anyway, because just before it was taken Toby Alderweireld returns from injury, replacing Wanyama.

9.11pm GMT

67 min: Eriksen and Walker have had the run of this right wing all evening. They combine, with Schennikov spinning around like a teenager after three cans of Special Brew, and nearly release Kane into the area. Not quite.

9.10pm GMT

65 min: Kane one-twos with Alli to cut inside from the right, then rolls a gorgeous pass to the right for N’Koudou, who drops a shoulder to cut back in, then blooters a wild effort into the north London sky. He was going for a curler into the top right, for the record. But instead it’s somewhere near Hanger Lane tube. Nothing wrong with ambition, of course.

9.07pm GMT

64 min: Nope! Kane pulls rank and scuffs a dismal effort straight at the keeper.

9.07pm GMT

63 min: Vasili Berezutski is booked for a blatant body-check on Alli as the Spurs man sashays down the middle of the park. A free kick in a dangerous position. A chance for Dier to beat Akinfeev again, just as he did for England against Russia at Euro 2016?

9.06pm GMT

62 min: Son is replaced by Georges-Kevin N’Koudou. The new man is immediately involved, exchanging passes with Rose down the left. The ball’s shuttled wide right for Walker, who finds Kane with his cross, six yards out. Kane has to score, but sends his header over the bar.

9.04pm GMT

60 min: Both sides have eased off a bit, almost as though they’d be happy to end the game right now. CSKA are carrying no threat at all. But then it was the same for long periods of the first half, and they went on to score one and nearly get another. So.

9.03pm GMT

59 min: Another corner for Spurs down the right. The Dave Bennett de nos jours to take. He finds

Kilcline
Vertonghen, who guides a weak header straight at Akinfeev.

9.01pm GMT

56 min:

Dave Bennett
Eriksen crosses from the right. Kane launches himself at the ball, in an attempt to recreate the diving header scored against Spurs by Coventry City’s Keith Houchen in the 1987 FA Cup final. Same end, too. That would have been a perfect replica had Kane, er, connected. But you get the point.

8.59pm GMT

55 min: Kane has an opportunity to play Son into space down the right, but knocks a loose pass out of play, behind his strike partner. That’s a rare misstep from Kane, who has looked really sharp and lively tonight.

8.58pm GMT

53 min: Vertonghen launches long for Son. The striker can’t control, but the ball breaks back to Kane, who controls and loops a bouncing ball towards the CSKA goal. He gives it a proper belt, but it’s straight at Akinfeev.

8.56pm GMT

52 min: OK, two minutes. Walker goes on a super-fast dribble down the right and wins a corner. Eriksen pulls it back for Son, who tries to Mark Hughes a volley from the edge of the box, level with the right-hand post, but doesn’t connect properly. The ball bounces harmlessly towards Akinfeev.

8.54pm GMT

50 min: Eriksen earns a corner down the right for Spurs, then wastes it. No worries, there’ll be another one along in a minute.

8.54pm GMT

49 min: Rose curls in a superlative ball from a deep position wide on the left. Akinfeev stays on the edge of his six-yard box to claim it, but is nearly embarrassed when Son races in from the right and sticks out a leg. He’s an uncut toenail away from steering Rose’s excellent cross into the bottom left.

8.52pm GMT

48 min: Kane makes a nuisance of himself down the inside-right channel and very nearly slips Alli clear into the CSKA area. Akinfeev races off his line to deal with the danger.

8.51pm GMT

47 min: And then there’s an instant reminder that this isn’t over yet. Natcho, from the right, lumps a ball into the middle for Traore to chase. The gangling striker nearly powers his way past Vertonghen, but the Spurs defender stays strong. For a second, Spurs looked very light at the back there.

8.50pm GMT

46 min: The half begins with a lot of Tottenham possession. Some crisp passing in the midfield, but it all goes nowhere.

8.48pm GMT

And we’re off again! Spurs are 45 minutes away from the knockout stage of the Europa League. On the evidence of the first half, they should do it with ease, providing they tuck away their chances and concentrate under any high balls CSKA launch forward. All easier said than done, of course. CSKA unsurprisingly make a change, throwing on Fedor Chalov in place of Golovin. Then they get the party re-started.

8.36pm GMT

Half-time reading: Fifteen minutes is more than enough time to subscribe to our daily Fiver email, read it, and unsubscribe in a fit of irritation.

Related: The Fiver | Fined for throwing a hamburger at a horse

8.35pm GMT

And there’s a scoreline that makes more sense. Wonderful entertainment. More, please!

8.33pm GMT

This was so simple! Eriksen, central in the pocket, pitching-wedges a diagonal ball to the left for Rose, who rolls a simple ball back across goal, allowing Kane to tap in! He couldn’t miss!

8.32pm GMT

45 min: Son has been pretty quiet. He jinks in from the right, and nearly breaks through. But not quite.

8.31pm GMT

43 min: Spurs very nearly fall behind again. Tosic breaks down the middle, draws Vertonghen, and passes to Milanov on his left. Milanov drops a shoulder to cut back inside, swishing past Dier. He shoots for the bottom left, but doesn’t catch it, and Lloris can claim. But Spurs were split open there, and fairly easily too.

8.30pm GMT

42 min: Walker channels his inner Garrincha and very nearly bamboozles his way between Schennikov and Aleksei Berezutski, and into the box. But the dribble breaks down right at the end. CSKA are a complete shambles down this Spurs right. Though can you be a shambles if there’s nobody there in attendance?

8.27pm GMT

40 min: I mean, this scoreline is still a bit daft, considering Tottenham’s overall dominance. But at least we’re no longer in the realms of the utterly surreal.

8.26pm GMT

Yeah, it was only a matter of time before Alli found the net! Kane and Walker battle down the right to shuttle the ball on to Eriksen, who loops to the far post. Alli brings the ball down, taking Nababkin out of the game and unleashing a screamer into the top right from ten yards! What a lovely finish, and Spurs are back in the box seat. Europa League, here they come!

8.24pm GMT

37 min: And all of a sudden, Spurs look brittle at the back. Another long ball down the middle leads to more panic. Tosic guides the dropping ball forward for Traore, who would have been clear on goal had he not miscontrolled with his shin, allowing Dier to recover.

8.23pm GMT

36 min: A corner for Spurs down the left as the home fans try to bring some noise. Eriksen has a look from a tight angle, but Akinfeev isn’t to be beaten from there.

8.22pm GMT

35 min: Wembley has fallen pretty quiet. As things stand, CSKA are in the Europa League, and Spurs are out of Europe altogether! At least Mauricio Pochettino will get his Sundays back. But this is a ludicrous scoreline.

8.20pm GMT

Oh this is preposterous. Natcho launches long from the centre circle. Tosic, to the right of the Spurs D, rises above Vertonghen and cushions a header down for Dzagoev, who takes a touch to race into the box and slaps a low shot into the bottom left. On the balance of play, this is madness.

8.17pm GMT

31 min: Ah, Schennikov is here! He’s booked for clattering into the back of Dier, who was threatening to bomb up his wing.

8.16pm GMT

29 min: ... Eriksen tries to execute a training-ground move, but it doesn’t quite come off. He shapes to shoot straight for goal, but then chips a diagonal one for Kane, rushing into the box from the right. Akinfeev smothers. Kane would have been offside anyway. But a smart idea.

8.15pm GMT

28 min: Kane embarks on a dribble down the inside-left channel, and is upended by a combination of Golovin and Natcho. A free kick, 30 yards out. From which...

8.14pm GMT

26 min: CSKA can’t get out of their own half. Walker once more makes space down the right, and looks for Kane in the middle, but the cross isn’t accurate. Spurs are playing well. Such a shame they’ve left it too late.

8.13pm GMT

24 min: Eriksen, dropping deep, wedges a gorgeous pass down the middle to release Alli free on goal! He must score, but doesn’t catch his shot correctly and Akinfeev is able to deal with the danger. Alli screams in frustration, his third good chance of the evening spurned. But shouldn’t be too hard on himself: he’s a whirlwind of energy tonight, involved in everything. A matter of time?

8.11pm GMT

23 min: Alli nibbles at Tosic again. Yes, he’s definitely in one of those moods. He can be a real piece of work when he wants to be, and I mean that as one of the highest compliments. The sort of player you just love when he’s on your side, rubbing the opposition up the wrong way.

8.09pm GMT

22 min: Space for Walker down the right. CSKA could do with putting at least one man out on this side of the pitch, you know. Walker crosses for Alli, who can’t quite get purchase on a header from the left-hand corner of the six-yard box. The ball flies sideways for Kane, who fails to connect with an overhead kick. He was offside anyway.

8.07pm GMT

20 min: A corner for Spurs down the right. Another excuse for Eriksen to loop a cross into the box. This one is easily dealt with by Aleksei Berezutski. But Spurs are well on top here.

8.06pm GMT

18 min: Alli clips Tosic, just to keep the feud running it would seem. This could be a lot of fun. Alli is in one of those moods, it would seem.

8.05pm GMT

16 min: A pause in play for a Spurs injury. Nothing major. Then, from the restart, CSKA having put the ball out, Alli decides to send a swerving dipper back towards Akinfeev. It very nearly loops over the keeper, and into the top right. Just over the bar. That was either a very heavy touch, or a bit saucy from Alli. Tosic runs in with a view to starting a fight. It nearly kicks off, but enough bodies get in the way. Alli doesn’t look particularly sorry about it. Could have been quite the scene had that flown in.

8.02pm GMT

14 min: But then Spurs come straight back at CSKA, who are all over the shop. Again, they make hay down the right, Kane spraying one out there for Eriksen, who slips a low cross towards the near post. Kane, having kept running, is the man on the end of it, and he very nearly pokes home first time into the bottom right. But not quite. It’s surely a matter of time. Schennikov looks totally lost.

7.59pm GMT

13 min: Spurs really should be leading. Walker is in acres down the right, where Spurs have the run of things. He slips the ball down the channel for Eriksen, who breaks into the box and must score! But he shoots straight at Akinfeev and the ball’s bundled out for a corner. The set piece comes to naught.

7.58pm GMT

12 min: Spurs picked up the pace nicely there, after a snooze of a start. CSKA aren’t quite up to speed yet. Dier goes down with a light knock, but he’s soon up and about again.

7.57pm GMT

10 min: Yes, this is a marvellous start from Spurs. Son goes on a wild dribble, turning Nababkin this way and that down the left. He pearls a low shot across Akinfeev towards the bottom right, but the keeper parries well. Kane can’t get close to the rebound, and the danger’s gone.

7.55pm GMT

9 min: More joy for Eriksen down the Spurs right. This time he whips towards the near post, where Kane can’t quite guide a header on target from a tight angle.

7.55pm GMT

7 min: And then, out of nothing, Spurs should score! Vertonghen, deep in his own half, sprays a delightful ball wide right for Eriksen, who takes a touch and whips high into the middle. The ball drops on Alli’s head, and he tries to guide a header into the bottom right from ten yards. If that was on target, it was beating the desperate lunge by Akinfeev. But the ball floats just wide left. So close. He probably should have scored. But close enough for no recriminations. A lovely move!

7.53pm GMT

6 min: Fans of gegenpressing won’t be enjoying this. Everyone’s wandering around in a very relaxed style.

7.51pm GMT

5 min: Alli chases after a probing pass down the left. He can’t get there, and pushes Berezutski to the ground. Free kick. Not a whole lot to report right now, if we’re being honest. Spurs are enjoying the majority of possession, though.

7.50pm GMT

3 min: A quiet start on the pitch. In the stands, a long, loud rendition of When The Spurs Go Marching In. The Tottenham fans doing their best to make the place feel like home. That home being Dixieland-on-Thames.

7.48pm GMT

And we’re off! Spurs get the ball rolling. It’s a sell-out at Wembley, not that everyone with a ticket has turned up. Unless there’s a very big queue at the bar. A lot of empty seats. CSKA quickly take up possession, Milanov and Schennikov combining well and very nearly breaking through down the left. But the latter’s low cross is straight at Wanyama, who clears with ease.

7.46pm GMT

But first, a minute’s silence for the victims of the Chapecoense plane crash. Perfectly observed.

7.42pm GMT

The teams are out! Spurs are in their famous lilywhite with dark blue trim, while CSKA sport their first-choice red-and-blue stripes. It’s a cold, crisp, cloudy night at Wembley. We’ll be off in a minute or two!

7.33pm GMT

Maurico Pochettino speaks! “Like all the Champions League games, this one is important for us. We have to try to win, after two games at home with two defeats. It is important to change that feeling. The Swansea result was big for us, so we could believe again. We showed that we can play very well. Now it’s important we are in a good way again, so our supporters can see us win at Wembley. We have the possibility to play more games here, and we must make Wembley feel like home.”

7.04pm GMT

Just the one change to the Spurs starting XI from Saturday afternoon. The exciting young Harry Winks replaces Mousa Dembele. A strong team. Stronger than the one named in Monaco. Go figure.

Two changes to CSKA’s winning team from the weekend. Mario Fernandes and Fedor Chalov are out, Alan Dzagoev and Kirill Nababkin are in.

7.01pm GMT

Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Walker, Dier, Vertonghen, Rose, Son, Wanyama, Winks, Eriksen, Alli, Kane.
Subs: Vorm, Alderweireld, Nkoudou, Sissoko, Dembele, Onomah, Wimmer.

CSKA Moscow: Akinfeev, Nababkin, Vasili Berezutski, Alexsei Berezutski, Schennikov, Tosic, Dzagoev, Bebras Natcho, Milanov, Golovin, Traore.
Subs: Chepchugov, Ignashevich, Strandberg, Fedor Chalov, Gordyushenko.

10.54am GMT

Spurs are on their way to Wembley... Yes, this hasn’t worked out as planned, has it. Tottenham Hotspur have, like Arsenal years before them, suffered horribly in playing their home Champions League fixtures at the national stadium. Losses here to Monaco and Bayer Leverkusen fatally compromised their dreams in Uefa’s premier club competition, and so all that’s left is a chance to qualify for the knockout stages of the Europa League, the Competition That Kills You © Mauricio Pochettino 2014.

On the face of it, tonight’s match represents quite a dilemma for Spurs. Pochettino has also stated in the past that “it is very difficult to manage the Europa League with the Premier League and both cups”, so presumably won’t be that worried if his side fall to a third home defeat out of three in Group E, and allow tonight’s opponents CSKA - the Central Sport Club of the Army - to sneak into the competition instead. But on the other hand, they’ll not want to encourage talk of a Wembley jinx, given the club look likely to play all their home fixtures in every competition here next season while old White Hart Lane is razed to the ground. Also, the much-maligned Europa League can be a whole lot of fun once it warms up, as fans of Middlesbrough, Fulham, Liverpool and especially Chelsea can attest.

Related: Tottenham to offer Toby Alderweireld new contract to overwrite £25m clause

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Published on December 07, 2016 13:37

The Fiver | Fined for throwing a hamburger at a horse

In today’s Fiver: Big Cup, gin, and Basingstoke Town’s eBay denials

Nothing much happens on Big Cup matchday six. That’s hardly a surprise, given you could have guessed the identity of at least 15 of the 16 teams to qualify for the knockout stage before the draw for the groups was even made. And that last guess was only held back because, since they managed to get themselves relegated to the Second Division from a position of mid-table safety with five games to go back in 1909, nobody has ever made any assumption about Manchester City. It’s just not done.

Related: Celtic charged by Uefa over crowd trouble but Manchester City face no action

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Published on December 07, 2016 08:19

November 30, 2016

Manchester United 4-1 West Ham United: EFL Cup quarter-final – as it happened

Two goals apiece for Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Anthony Martial, as the hosts sweep into the semi-finals.

1.12am GMT

Related: Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney sees yellow and puts record chasing on hold | Paul Wilson

1.11am GMT

Related: José Mourinho praises Mkhitaryan after watching win from secret location

10.23pm GMT

Related: Manchester United avoid Liverpool in EFL Cup semi-final draw

10.23pm GMT

Related: Manchester United sink West Ham with Ibrahimovic and Martial doubles

10.10pm GMT

The draw!
Manchester United v Hull City
Southampton v Liverpool

United and Saints will be at home in the first leg, to be played the week commencing January 9. Hull and Liverpool get their turn to host the week commencing January 23. A replay of the 1986/87 semi-final between Saints and Liverpool, then. United will be favourites for the trophy right now: it’s been a good evening for them!

9.54pm GMT

And that’s the final kick of a comprehensive victory for Manchester United. The scoreline didn’t flatter them: in fact, it probably should have been more. But after repeatedly failing to finish teams off in the Premier League, they’ll take this. And they reach their 14th League Cup semi-final! They go into the hat with Southampton, who won tonight at Arsenal, plus Hull City and Liverpool. The draw’s coming up in a minute or two. Don’t go anywhere!

9.52pm GMT

Herrera busies himself down the inside-left channel, beating three men and pulling the ball into the centre. In the middle, on the edge of the six-yard box, Ibrahimovic. He can’t miss, and ends the game as he started it!

9.51pm GMT

90 min +2: West Ham have come alive, but it’s far too late. Kouyate reaches the by-line down the right and cuts back from Feghouli, who should get his shot from 12 yards on target, but blasts crazily over the bar instead.

9.49pm GMT

90 min +1: There will be three added minutes. Rashford comes on for Mkhitaryan. Then Feghouli finds a bit of space down the right and has a wild slash from the edge of the box. Nope.

9.48pm GMT

90 min: Smiles all round back there, but Schweinsteiger gets serious, as he looks for the top right corner from 30 yards. Nowhere near, but hearty applause nonetheless.

9.48pm GMT

89 min: Schweinsteiger touches the ball. Off comes the roof. Everyone enjoying themselves.

9.46pm GMT

88 min: Fernandes has a lash from 25 yards, out on the right. The ball’s deflected off Jones, and out for a corner. It leads to nothing. Southampton beat Arsenal 2-0, by the way.

9.45pm GMT

86 min: The biggest roar of the evening, as two-goal hero Anthony Martial is replaced by Bastian Schweinsteiger. The German legend is a popular man around these parts, it would seem. What a warm welcome on his first appearance of the season!

9.43pm GMT

84 min: Zaza wins a corner of Rojo. That’s a nice sentence to say out loud. People like to say salsa. The set piece, coming in from the left, should be met by Zaza, six yards out. But he only succeeds in heading thin air. A chance to launch an unlikely comeback spurned.

9.40pm GMT

81 min: A brilliant effort by Ibrahimovic. On the left-hand corner of the six-yard box, he nutmegs Feghouli and curls one towards the bottom right, all in one sweet move. Adrian tips away from danger. “As a Liverpool fan I’m encouraged by West Ham’s defending but a little dispirited at Man United’s attacking verve,” writes Niall Mullen. “Aren’t they supposed to be a beaten docket?” As a rule, it’s best not to write off Manchester United. Imagine what people were saying during the Herbert Bamlett era, for example, and look what happened in the four decades after that.

9.38pm GMT

79 min: Mkhitaryan has a dig from distance. The ball balloons off a West Ham defender and out for a corner on the right. Before Rooney takes it, he has a little argument with the linesman, over nothing it would seem. He’s in that sort of mood tonight. It’s almost as though he’s better when he’s close to boiling over. Anyway, the resulting set piece is a waste of time.

9.35pm GMT

76 min: As Rooney is repaired, Zaza comes on for Payet, who has been strangely quiet tonight. Apart from the shot that led to West Ham’s goal, of course, but you get the general point.

9.34pm GMT

74 min: Manchester United press West Ham back. Ibrahimovic and Rooney acting as proper pests, buzzing hither and yon, causing all sorts of trouble. Rooney takes a whack in the face from Reid. Totally accidental, but blood’s been drawn. The referee stops play. Rooney is livid. Does he want a penalty? Is he cross that the pressure’s been relieved? Either way, he nearly talks his way into a second yellow, before running to the sidelines to mop up the red.

9.32pm GMT

72 min: Old Trafford falls a bit quiet during a midfield lull. The general mood suggests this is all over.

9.28pm GMT

70 min: Kouyate earns a corner out on the right. Reid tries to connect with the set piece, ten yards out, but not for the first time tonight, a West Ham cross evades a team-mate’s noggin by inches.

9.27pm GMT

68 min: Manchester United look confident and in control right now. Which, in fairness, they did at this point in the first half, before West Ham went on to level. But the visitors don’t look like they’ve got a dramatic two-goal comeback in them. Their passes aren’t sticking to feet.

9.25pm GMT

66 min: West Ham look visibly deflated. On the touchline, Slaven Bilic has his hands thrust deep into his pockets, in the ‘Miffed’ style.

9.22pm GMT

64 min: This is the sort of scoreline Manchester United deserved to take out of the first half. Only now do they have it. West Ham try to respond immediately, winning a corner down the left. But Payet, whose dead-ball efforts haven’t been so good tonight, can’t beat the first man.

9.21pm GMT

The semi-finals beckon for Manchester Ujnited! Herrera, in the centre of the park on the right, passes inside for Ibrahimovic, who slide-rules a fine ball down the inside-right channel. Valencia strides into the box, and rolls across for Martial, who can’t miss from eight yards. He cracks it with purpose past Adrian, and Old Trafford erupts!

9.19pm GMT

61 min: Rooney and Mkhitaryan triangulate nicely down the middle. Rooney then tries to flick Martial clear down the left channel, but overcooks the pass and runs into Reid. He’s awarded a slightly generous free kick though. Perhaps the referee feels guilty about that booking. Anyway, Ibrahimovic hits a hard daisycutter of a free kick towards the bottom left, curling it around the wall. That’s a clever effort, though it doesn’t fox Adrian, who handles a hot potato well on the line.

9.17pm GMT

58 min: Antonio has tweaked his groin, and is replaced by Lanzini. West Ham are having no luck with injuries at this ground, having lost Sakho the other day.

9.15pm GMT

56 min: Ibrahimovic and Rooney combine well down the middle, a couple of crisp passes, and suddenly the ball’s slid towards Martial, who breaks into the area down the inside-left channel. He looks for the right-hand side of the net, but Adrian parries well. Martial was probably an inch or two offside there, but give the attacker the benefit, and all that. Anyway, no harm done.

9.13pm GMT

55 min: Space for Masuaka down the left. He curls low and hard into the Manchester United area. Jones should easily clear, but takes a fresh-air waft instead. The ball works its way through to Feghouli at the far post, but from a tight angle all the West Ham man can do is fall over. Goal kick. But for all their dominance, Manchester United don’t look completely composed at the back.

9.12pm GMT

53 min: Free kick for Manchester United out on the right. They load the box. Rooney flays a ludicrous effort high towards the Stretford End. Too much of the old Wonderfuel Gas in that. And it’s a bad couple of minutes for the home captain, who clatters into Fernandes and picks up a booking that’ll rule him out of the upcoming visit to, of all places, Everton. He is livid. There wasn’t much in that challenge, but he needs to calm down.

9.09pm GMT

51 min: Antonio hoicks a long ball down the right and backs himself to beat Blind. He does that, but Rojo comes across to slide the danger into touch in spectacular style. That’s a very enjoyable no-nonsense tackle.

9.08pm GMT

50 min: Slaven Bilic has a face on. And no wonder.

9.07pm GMT

A thoughtful first couple of minutes to the half. And then suddenly Payet shanks a clearance up the left. The ball’s headed back down the flank towards Valencia, who backheels neatly to release Mkhitaryan into the box. Mkhitaryan isn’t chased by Payet. He draws a couple of men, then rolls a pass inside for Martial, who opens up his body and sidefoots a blooter into the top left! So much for Manchester United’s mental block at Old Trafford! But that was very sloppy by West Ham, who haven’t really come out to play again yet.

9.05pm GMT

45 min 05 sec: Kouyate rolls a lame pass back to Adrian, nearly allowing Ibrahomovic to start this half like he did the first. But he can’t quite get to the ball before the keeper. Kouyate has the good grace to hold his hand up and apologise. The hosts made one change at half-time, incidentally. Shaw, injured we hear, is replaced by Blind.

9.02pm GMT

And we’re off again! This is going to be a fascinating second half, because you have to wonder whether Manchester United are developing a mental block at Old Trafford. Recent matches have seen them incapable of polishing off Stoke, Burnley and Arsenal when thoroughly dominant. They won’t want to add this League Cup quarter-final to that list. West Ham will be hoping a trend of their own continues, though: they were very good in the second half here on Sunday, and will fancy their chances if they put on another display like that. Like we were saying, in terms of

narrative
story, it’s perfectly poised. West Ham get the party re-started.

8.50pm GMT

Half-time reading:

Related: Gareth Southgate: no star power, no magic bullet, but a man for the times | Barney Ronay

8.49pm GMT

That half flew by, and it ends with a scoreline that doesn’t reflect the balance of play. Manchester United were utterly dominant until David de Gea’s error. But the teams go in level. The home side will take succour from the manner in which they’ve played for the bulk of that half; the visitors from the way they held on and fought their way back into the tie. It’s poised perfectly. Another entertaining half of football, please!

8.46pm GMT

45 min: Cresswell can’t continue. He’s withdrawn in favour of Masuaku.

8.46pm GMT

44 min: Manchester United look collectively frustrated, which is hardly surprising given their dominance before the equaliser. Rooney clips Kouayte’s ankle, then Shaw argues needlessly over a throw in the midfield. The volume levels have dropped around the stadium, too, apart from one corner, where the Great West Ham Songbook is being flicked through with gusto.

8.43pm GMT

42 min: Cresswell is down, and doesn’t look very happy. The West Ham physio doing a lot of tugging and tweaking to his right leg. But he’s going to battle on to half time. Maybe.

8.40pm GMT

40 min: Payet doesn’t do his thing very well. Manchester United clear with ease.

8.40pm GMT

39 min: Now it’s West Ham who have their tails up. They ping it around down the left, causing Valencia to lose his patience. He nips Cresswell’s heels, and is booked for the trouble. A chance for West Ham to load the box, and for Payet to do his thing.

8.39pm GMT

37 min: Rooney chips forward for Martial down the left, and a corner’s earned off Adrian, who had to come well wide of his goal to make an emergency interception. The set piece is cleared. West Ham race up the other end through Cresswell down the left. His looping cross skims off the top of Fletcher’s head, the striker ten yards out and free. A few inches lower, and the hosts were in a bit of trouble there.

8.37pm GMT

West Ham haven’t been in this game at all, but now look! Payet advances on the Manchester United area down the inside-left channel. He drops a shoulder inside, and lashes a low shot towards de Gea. The keeper should gather, but he fumbles the ball, and Fletcher, sniffing around, pokes into the bottom left!

8.35pm GMT

34 min: Shaw strips the ball off Antonio down the Manchester United left, and races upfield. He slips the ball inside for Martial, who in turn feeds Rooney, who dinks a straight one down the middle for Ibrahimovic. The striker enters the box, but Reid steps in front of him and guides the ball back to Adrian.

8.33pm GMT

32 min: Rooney’s done so much work, he deserves a shot of his own. Ibrahimovic tees him up on the edge of the box. His snapped effort is easily blocked. He’ll not be equalling Bobby Charlton’s record quite yet.

8.32pm GMT

30 min: Antonio presents Ibrahimovic with the ball in the centre circle, an awful shank of a pass. West Ham don’t bother to close down, or attempt to tackle, Ibrahimovic as he makes towards their box. Eventually the striker shoots. It’s blocked right. Mkhitaryan fires an immediate low pass out to Martial, in space in the left-hand portion of the area. The resulting shot, an attempted thread into the bottom right, is easily gathered by Adrian.

8.30pm GMT

29 min: Now Rooney bustles down the right wing, and whip-cracks a cross to the near post. Martial can’t quite get his head on it. At the moment, a second goal for the hosts seems like a matter of time, nothing more. West Ham are struggling to break Manchester United’s rhythm.

8.28pm GMT

27 min: Payet has taken a nasty knee in the thigh from Ibrahimovic. It was totally accidental, as the pair tried to control an awkwardly bouncing ball. A dead leg, nothing more. Looks like he’ll be up and about in a minute.

8.27pm GMT

25 min: Ryan Bertrand has made it 2-0 to Southampton at Ashburton Grove. As things stand, the semi-finalists are Manchester United, Southampton, Hull City and Liverpool. A long way to go this evening before the first two secure their places, of course.

8.25pm GMT

23 min: Mkhitaryan is looking sharp, too. Martial romps down the left and feeds him the ball. Mkhitaryan lays back for the in-rushing Herrera, who pearls one towards the top right from the edge of the area. The shot hits poor Ogbonna straight in the coupon. West Ham survive again. Manchester United are playing some fine stuff tonight, in the old-fashioned attacking style.

8.23pm GMT

22 min: Rooney is everywhere at the moment. He fizzes a low pass down the left wing, but neither Shaw nor Mkhitaryan read it. West Ham looked a bit light at the back there. If only somebody had taken a gamble.

8.21pm GMT

20 min: A bit of space for a very lively looking Rooney down the left. He checks back before whipping a fine cross towards Ibrahimovic at the far post. The big Swede is outbattled by Ogbonna, and doesn’t really leap for the ball. Manchester United are creating chances.

8.19pm GMT

18 min: And yet West Ham were very nearly level! Payet takes a free kick from a deep position on the left. It’s an inch or two away from dropping onto the head of Reid, eight yards from goal. But a pair of home eyebrows manage to flick the ball away. An inch or two higher, and that was a very good opportunity indeed. Martial races off up the other end and scores three rugby points from a very ambitious distance. This is a cracking match.

8.17pm GMT

16 min: The free kick. Rooney whips a fine curler towards the top right. It’s fingertipped away by Adrian, and the resulting corner comes to naught. Manchester United could easily be three goals up here.

8.16pm GMT

15 min: Another quick break from a corner. This time it’s Manchester United zipping upfield from a piss-poor West Ham set piece. Martial makes off down the left, and he’s crudely blocked by Obiang right on the edge of the box. Just a free kick and a booking, though I’d like to see that again. Martial could have been right on the white line. But no penalty’s given.

8.15pm GMT

13 min: Corner for Manchester United down the right. Noel’s delivery isn’t all that. West Ham tear clear on the break. Feghouli races into a lot of space. He’s got Fletcher clear on his right, with only Rojo in front of him. But he inexplicably faffs around, thinking about a selfish shot, and is eventually stripped of possession.

8.13pm GMT

11 min: Incidentally, Wayne Rooney, who can equal Bobby Charlton’s all-time club scoring record of 249 tonight with a single goal, is sporting a full beard, but tidily trimmed, as opposed to the full hipster. Shades of Noel Edmonds. It’s a statement look.

8.11pm GMT

9 min: Payet and Antonio try to get something going down the West Ham right, but none of their passes are sticking. Martial threatens to bust down the left on the counter. He’s upended, but from the free kick Shaw zips into space along the same wing, and crosses dangerously. Reid hacks high into the air, a very strange attempt at a clearance. Adrian catches, just about stopping the ball from going out for a corner. This is the best Manchester United have played all season. It’s high-paced stuff, and very dangerous.

8.09pm GMT

7 min: That start has really shaken West Ham. They’re all over the place. Rooney again drops deep, and this time rolls a fine pass down the middle to set Ibrahimovic striding towards the box. Mkhitaryan pulls Reid out of the middle with a run to Ibrahimovic’s right. Ibrahimovic is clear in the area! He looks to place another in the bottom left, but is denied this time by a fine save from Adrian. He shoots again: another save! Martial tries to get involved, coming in from the left, but he can’t connect with a loose ball. Adrian eventually snaffles.

8.07pm GMT

4 min: What a start! For a second, it looked like Mkhitaryan picked up an injury while making that sublime assist. But he’s OK. Also, Adrian appeared to follow through quite unpleasantly on Ibrahimovic as he was beaten. Studs up, he crumped into the striker’s shin. Everyone’s OK, though. Southampton are a goal up at Arsenal, by the way: Jordy Claise the scorer on 13 minutes. It’s all happening, to steal Danny Boon’s catchphrase.

8.04pm GMT

This is a gorgeous goal. And so, so simple. Rooney, his back to goal by the centre circle, plays a lovely reverse pass down the inside-left channel. Mkhitaryan races onto the ball, and backheels a first-time ball into Ibrahimovic, who is clear in the centre! He draws Adrian, and calmly flicks a low shot into the bottom left. That was a magnificent team goal.

8.02pm GMT

And we’re off! United get the ball rolling. Ibrahimovic and Rooney try to link up down the inside-right channel. Rooney sniffs around, and very nearly gets on the end of a pass in the area, Adrian taking an age to come off his line. But the keeper snaffles.

8.01pm GMT

But first, a minute’s silence for the Chapecoense air tragedy. Sir Bobby Charlton looking solemn in the stand; a thought, no doubt, for absent friends. A poignant moment, perfectly respected.

7.57pm GMT

The teams are out! It’s a cold, icy night in Manchester. Old Trafford warms itself up by giving it plenty as the players take to the field. Manchester United are in their famous red, white and black get-up, while West Ham change into their white and powder-blue second strip. This is the one, according to Ian, John, Mani and Reni. We’ll be off in a minute!

7.50pm GMT

And now it’s Slaven Bilic’s turn. “I am confident, and confidence is basically what you need if you want to progress. This is a very difficult opponent, and we need to put in a strong performance. [Manchester United academy graduate] Ashley Fletcher has done well since he joined us. We are using him a lot and he makes an impact. He did well here on Sunday. No pressure on him, but he can chase things down, run the channels, and hopefully score a goal.” Aye, no pressure.

7.40pm GMT

Jose Mourinho, banned from the dugout tonight, speaks. “It is not the same to be on the touchline, or not to be, obviously. But I have given everything to prepare the team in the training sessions. The rules allow me to be in touch with my colleagues on the touchline, and to be in the dressing room before and after the match. So I think I can do the job to try to help them. We change five players from the last match, but they have the same objective. When you smell a two-leg semi-final, you put out a good team.”

7.11pm GMT

Five changes to the Manchester United team which started the 1-1 draw against tonight’s opponents at this very venue, just three days ago. The suspended Paul Pogba sits it out, while Darmian, Juan Mata, Jesse Lingard and Marcus Rashford lose their places. Into the starting XI: Luke Shaw, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Michael Carrick, Anthony Martial and Wayne Rooney.

West Ham also make five swaps. In come Adrian, Winston Reid, Sofiane Feghouli, Ashley Fletcher and Edimilson Fernandes. They take the starting berths of Darren Randolph, Manuel Lanzini, Mark Noble, James Collins and Diafra Sakho.

7.09pm GMT

Manchester United: de Gea, Valencia, Jones, Rojo, Shaw, Herrera, Carrick, Mkhitaryan, Rooney, Martial, Ibrahimovic.
Subs: Mata, Lingard, Blind, Rashford, Romero, Schneiderlin, Schweinsteiger.

West Ham United: Adrian, Kouyate, Reid, Ogbonna, Antonio, Fernandes, Obiang, Cresswell, Feghouli, Fletcher, Payet.
Subs: Randolph, Nordtveit, Lanzini, Zaza, Noble, Collins, Masuaku.

2.40pm GMT

Manchester United are supposedly going through a crisis right now. They’re off the pace in the Premier League; they’ve won just seven of their last 17 matches; their manager keeps getting himself sent off and will watch from the stands tonight as a result; the club’s world-record £89m midfielder Paul Pogba is suspended.

Plenty of clubs dream of a crisis like United’s. Spin it another way. United won a major trophy just six months ago; it wouldn’t take much for their strangely goal-shy team to suddenly click and start converting all these chances; they’re only four wins off the top of the League and three games away from another Wembley visit; and while Pogba may be missing tonight, Ander Herrera isn’t, and he’s not the sort to take any difficult situation lying down. “It’s positive that we are playing on Wednesday, when we can get revenge,” he said in the wake of Sunday’s disappointing 1-1 Premier League draw with tonight’s opponents. “It doesn’t matter the competition, it doesn’t matter the game, we just want to win. We want to fight for everything and we want to make our fans proud.”

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Published on November 30, 2016 14:12

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