Naomi Kramer's Blog, page 7

Meet the Meat

"So… let me get this straight…" Trent said, tapping the pen against his chin, "Native marsupials are turning vicious and attacking people randomly?"

"Seems that way."

"Any attacks on other animals? Other natives, dogs, cats?"

Larsson shrugged.

"But they've always been vicious, really, right? No one in their right mind tries to pat a possum?"

"Only in mating season, or when they feel threatened," Larsson said, frowning, "This… aggressiveness… it's new. They never really had many predators, they're...

Mystery Visitor

Larsson woke, and his room was in twilight. He was alone… but his throat was dry and scratchy.

"Wonder if I'm allowed to move yet?" he muttered to himself, and looked around. A glass stood on the side table, half-full of clear liquid. He shrugged, sat up slowly, and reached for it.

With a wince for stitches obviously not out yet, he brought the glass to his face and sniffed. Smelt like water. Close enough. He sipped and smiled as the luke-warm liquid moistened his mouth and throat. Better. He...

Jessie

"Shit, her temperature's up again!"

"It's almost time for the next dose…"

"Give it now, we have some leeway in the dosage times… doctor has plus/minus 15 minutes here."

Jessie stirred impatiently, tossing from side to side. One forearm slammed against the metal guard on the side of the bed.

"God, she's going to have some impressive bruising if that carries on."

"Jessie, darling, you're in the hospital… my name's Susan, I'm a nurse who's looking after you. It's OK, you're a little bit sick, but...

St Kilda

One week of domestic bliss and night-time wrestling, and Laura had to go. They lay in bed, in the darkness, cuddling.

"God, Egypt?" Robert murmured.

"Yeah, I might even get to see the pyramids – from the plane…" said Laura drowsily.

"Nice."

****

"Honey, I'm home!"

"Kara, sweetie! You're back! God, just lemme get all the women out of the pool and spa, OK? I wish you'd call so I could do this before you get home, love!"

Laura laughed.

"You're terrible, David!" she yelled, and dumped her bags in the...

Laura

"Nanna…"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Why do women cry at weddings? We went to George's wedding yesterday, and some of the women were crying. Mummy says it's because they're so happy for the bride."

"Mummy's full of shit, Laura. Women cry at weddings because they hate seeing another woman make the same stupid mistake they did and sell herself into slavery. Men are arseholes, Laura."

That was Laura's introduction to feminism, Nanna-style.

Later in life, she discovered that Nanna had been one of the feminists...

Larsson

"Eurrghhh…"

Larsson opened his eyes, and nothing changed.

"Shhhh… don't worry, the room's dark because your eyes are light-sensitive right now," said a soft female voice, "it's OK – you're in hospital, you're sick, but we're looking after you."

"Wha – happened?"

"Wait – I'll get you some water."

A straw touched Larsson's lips, and he sucked on it. The water was cool, and his mouth, he realised, had been very dry.

"Better?"

"Yes… thank you."

"You collapsed at work, do you remember? Then you came here, an

Fluffy

"Puss puss puss puss!"

Ruby stopped yelling and sighed. Fluffy had obviously decided to stay out again tonight. She'd shaken the dry food box, banged a tin with a spoon, called him on and off for an hour – nothing. Fluffy was nowhere to be seen.

"Silly thing!" she muttered at the absent cat, "Just don't come back with dead wildlife, you horror!"

She shut the back door, bolted it carefully, and wandered into the kitchen to make dinner.

****

A high-pitched yowling woke Ruby from a deep sleep. She sat u

Handler

Larsson handed Joe back into his cage and closed the door, smiling. Joe was getting old and grumpy, and was known to growl at the newer handlers… but he always behaved like a lamb for Larsson. Koalas weren't much for mateship, he knew, but he reckoned Joe trusted him to treat him right.

"There you go, fella," he said, and patted the cage on the way out. Joe was almost the last – just the baby, Kelly, to go. Kelly, he mused, was not old and grumpy, thank God. They needed a star that the kids could

The Score

"Show me the way to go home!" bawled the wolf.

"I'm tired and I wanna go ta bed!" sang Red Riding Hood.

"Phwoar, do ya?" the wolf leered and groped her arse.

"Nah, I just invited my back ta my place fer COFFEE!" Red Riding Hood giggled. God, this man was a twat, and a predictable one.

****

Roger paused in the bedroom doorway and whistled.

"Video camera? I think I hooked me a live one!"

"Well…" purred Rosie, moving closer and putting her hands on his chest, "sometimes I like to watch! Over and over and

Victim

Jessie screamed. Claws raked down her back; needle-sharp teeth punctured her neck.

"HELP!! HELP!! I'm… ARGH!!!"

Steps thumped towards her as she collapsed. Her attacker leapt away and vanished into the night.

"Lady, you OK? What's the matter?"

"I… something hit me…"

She put a hand up to the back of her neck – it was wet, sticky, and now her hand was dark with the stuff.

"God, lady, you're bleeding? What the hell did that, a dog?"

She frowned, looked at the blood on her hand, and swayed.

"Lemme call trip