Naomi Kramer's Blog, page 2

Changes to the Site

You might have noticed that the website’s changed a bit over the last couple of weeks. I finally have it in a state that I’m fairly happy with, so the look and feel of the site shouldn’t change much for a while at least.

Probably the biggest change is that I’ve implemented user accounts. This is partly to protect myself from receiving five billion spam comments every day, and partly to ensure that if you buy ebooks from the eStore, you’ll be able to redownload the files whenever you need to. It also gives you access to editing pages in the wiki – so if you see any pages that are missing information, you’ll be able to add your 2c worth simply and easily!

There are other changes, too. Like the aforementioned wiki, which is pretty thin on the ground right now, but will eventually cover every book and character that I’ve written. Like the eStore, which is now working to my satisfaction. If you buy a book on this site, you get the EPUB, MOBI, and PDF versions of it to download, meaning that whichever device or software that you use to read ebooks, you should have the perfect file to use for it.

I’ve also added in some ‘pay with a like’ content – articles, stories, and other silliness. They’re basically free to read, but you share the link on the social network of your choice before getting full access to the content. This is designed to help me get the word out about my work! If you think it’s annoying or unfair, though, please let me know.

Confession: I’m in love with a dead man

Writing, to me, is simply thinking through my fingers.

- Isaac Asimov

Here’s something that not many people know about me – mostly because it sounds incredibly fucking weird. A few years ago, I fell head over heels in love with Isaac Asimov.

Now, I’m not the sort of person who tends toward celebrity crushes. Something in my mental makeup says to me, “Celebs are cool and all, but it’s mostly because they’re entertaining. That’s not a good basis for a relationship, luv.” So I might like seeing movies or TV shows with certain celebs in them, but if they die then I kinda pout a bit and think, “Aww.” I did get a little attached to Heath Ledger, for some reason. When he died, I actually cried. But Isaac? Wow, that’s a whole ‘nother ball park.

I discovered Asimov as a science writer when I started senior chemistry classes (in Australia, science is all general up till Year 11 – then it splits into the three main disciplines). My chemistry teacher recommended what was, even then, a slightly obsolete book by Asimov – I think it was A Short History of Chemistry. For the first time, I read a book that contained the information of a textbook, but was bloody interesting to read. You might think that that was the start of my love affair with him, but no – that was more a one-sided friendly acquaintance and regard. Over the years, I sought out more of his books – including the fiction ones (still some of my favourite science fiction).

Then I read his memoirs and autobiographies – and I fell in love. Why? Because in so many ways, I could identify with this man. His personality (flaws and all), his way of interacting with the world, even the type of intelligence that he had… I don’t often meet people who share all of these things with me. I read his memoirs first, then hunted down, bought, and read his autobiography (out of print these days). I read both huge volumes of his meandering autobiography alternating between laughter, sheer affection, and tears. Insane though it might sound, I felt a deep connection to this person whom I not only had never met… but could never meet (he died in 1992 – the year before I discovered his chemistry book). We were both highly arrogant people who did our damnedest to hide said arrogance with self-deprecatory humour. We both had a scientific and creative bent, with a tendency toward generalist rather than specialist knowledge. We had similar senses of humour, and a similar joy in being the centre of attention (but only when we wanted it, dammit) and in teaching others. He looked at the world and drew conclusions about life in similar ways to me – although the conclusions drawn were often different. I felt a deep, kindred spirit-type connection to this man.

To be totally honest, I left the last chapter of his autobiography unread for months, if not years – I had the irrational feeling that if I read that chapter, it would be like letting him die all over again. When I finally got up the courage to read it, I bawled whole-heartedly throughout. What’s more, I cry every time I re-read it, too. He’s the ultimate in unavailable men, huh? I often wonder what might have happened if life had been different, if we’d met and socialised. Would I still have fallen head over heels? Would he, so similar to me in personality, have royally pissed me off? (I often suspect that I’d find myself a very uncomfortable and irritating roommate) I don’t think it would have changed very much, though. I think I’d still feel the same – deeply appreciative of the opportunity to have interacted, even one-way, with a kindred spirit.

So there you go – that’s my I’m-insane-but-relatively-harmless confession of utter weirdness. Have you ever felt that sort of connection with a person whom you’ve never actually met face-to-face?

No Gender December

I’ve been pondering this whole ‘don’t buy your kids gendered toys’ message and the huge outcry in Australian society over such a ‘crazy’ message. I don’t have studies and research to offer, but I do have personal experience. I remember wanting a Barbie doll when I was a kid. My mother (as far as I remember) hated them and wouldn’t ever buy me one. Instead, I had other dolls and heaps of lego and toy cars to play with. And maybe due to that, maybe due to my parents’ refusal to ever let me limit myself or conform to society’s expectations of a girl, I grew up not realising that I was a ‘feminist’ – I merely expected the sort of equal treatment I’d always been granted by my parents. It appalled me when I started to realise just how few of my peers had been given the same sort of start in life.

No man has ever been dumb enough to raise his hand to me in anger (kickboxing classes don’t count). I’ve never suffered from workplace inequality, despite working primarily in a male-dominated field. I’ve never felt as though I should hide my intelligence or improve my appearance to attract a man. Sexual harassment has never lasted more than a couple of minutes (there are always easier and less sarcastic options). I’ve never avoided becoming physically strong out of fear of becoming unattractive. I’ve never been raped or mugged. In case you don’t follow my point – this makes me quite unusual in the ranks of womankind.

Here’s my point. You might not mean to limit the children around you. Forcing them into gender roles is probably the last thing on your mind. But you might be amazed at just what messages you’re unintentionally giving those children about their place in the world, and affecting their confidence in facing it. I was given the gift of mindful, careful, non-biased upbringing, and shielding from sexist attitudes. To me, that’s one of the most valuable gifts that you can give a child – to tell them in spoken and unspoken ways every day that they can be whatever the hell they want, society be damned.

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New DEAD(ish) Allsorts Story!

Mike escaped from Barb’s torment with a well-aimed bullet to his brain. But life doesn’t end at death, and Mike’s now stuck in Hell with the exact person who was out to get him all along. ‘Not a happy camper’ is an understatement.

This is the third short story in the DEAD(ish) Allsorts collection of short stories. Timeline-wise, it follows DEAD (and hellbent).

Warning: Contains copious foul language. Not suitable for children.

This third short was awesome fun to write. There’s something about Mike as a character that makes it so much fun to think up ways for the gals to torment him. If you ever wished he’d suffered a bit more… you might just love this short story.

If the DEAD(ish)/Allsorts timeline is starting to get a little confusing, here’s a guide to the books and short stories currently available:

Announcing DEAD(ish) Allsorts!

DEAD(ish) Allsorts is a series of short stories that fill in gaps between and around the DEAD(ish) books. Unlike the main series, they aren’t murder mysteries, and they might not be humorous, as such. But if you’ve ever wondered how Linda learnt to do all that cool stuff in Heaven, or what’s involved in training someone in Heaven… you’ll love ‘em.

So far there are two in the series:

Follow the Light takes up where DEAD(ish) left off, and follows Linda through her very first days in Heaven.

Lee Ming starts with an elderly Chinese woman with no English appearing in Linda’s bedroom.

You can find them at Amazon, B&N, Smashwords, Apple… all the usual suspects.

Latest Releases!

Oops! It’s been a while since I updated this blog, eh? On the bright side, it’s because I’ve been hard at work getting stories written and out the door.

Here’s what I’ve released in the last month:

DEAD (and hellbent) – DEAD(ish) book 5
DEAD(ish) Omnibus – DEAD(ish) books 1-5, in one convenient and cheap package
Pass the Parcel – an erotic short story (under the name N. R. Kramer)
Two episodes of Yesterday’s Cat, a time-travel science fiction serial.

I’ll be uploading these to the site store soon, and seeing if I can get said store out of beta ASAP. In the meantime, they’re all available from Amazon and Smashwords, plus a number of other retailers.

 

Coming Soon…

New DEAD(ish) book! DEAD (and hellbent) will be released near the end of the month… once I beat a recalcitrant cover into submission. :-D  This latest instalment in the DEAD(ish) drama takes us back to everyone’s darling (*cough* *splutter*), Mike. He’s about to get out of jail, and he’s convinced that Linda is tormenting him again. Linda’s convinced that she’s not, and really wishes he’d shut the hell up. More torment! More revenge! More-confused Trent!

Also, coming in the next week or so, the first episode in Yesterday’s Cat – a serial about a sartorially-challenged, time-travelling redhead and her cat, Random. Angie Chau is a time agent, travelling to the past on missions ordered by the imaginatively-named Time Department. What will she do when the Time Department itself is compromised, and she’s not sure who to trust – or who really trusts her?

Who Likes Short Shorts?

Having free time to write is awesome. I’ve been working on the next DEAD(ish) book, plus a vampire novel… but I’ve also had a chance to finish and polish up a couple of short stories:

A Very Bogan Christmas (available at the various Amazon stores only) is a retelling of the nativity story, set in modern-day Ipswich in Queensland, Australia.

Don’t Bite the Postman, Puppies! (available from Amazon stores and Smashwords now, and other stores soon) explores what might happen if, instead of a werewolf biting a human, a dog bites a werewolf.

(imminently) DEAD Out the Door!

I did it! I kicked that little pain in the arse out the door to fend for itself.

Errr… in normal person’s language, I released an ebook on Friday.  It’s had some positive comments from beta readers, so I’m hoping that other DEAD(ish) fans like it too. Despite all the trouble I’ve had with it, I still really enjoyed re-reading the book. It’s a little pathetic to admit, but I still laugh my arse off when I read it. Geordie is a character and a half, and I love the fact that he has his own book now. He thoroughly deserves it – if not the treatment he gets in the book.

Geordie and Lazarus are back, and they have a big problem. Someone’s sending death threats to Geordie, and he’s afraid that he’ll soon be relegated to an afterlife of wandering the earth, giving fashion advice to the passé living. Can Trent and Linda save him from his fate?

Buying the ebook

Or buy the .epub from Smashwords