Heidi Reagan's Blog, page 6
September 12, 2014
Katherine Mansfield Quote
Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others … Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.
September 9, 2014
The Mediocrity of Stagnation
Reading my horoscope is not something I do on a daily or even a weekly basis. However, there is a local astrologer that I reference once a month as his writing is consistently insightful and germane to my life at large.
I am a Libra and this month my horoscope covered speaking and living my truth. There are many elements that comprise the ability to steadily live from your passion zone. Transparency is a key piece. We are often taught to hide our true feelings, our circumstances and our desires particularly when they are not congruent with social standards. I was taught this lesson early on as the daughter of a young divorced mother in the early 60’s when divorce was still taboo. Reminded by my mother, almost daily, not to tell anyone about our circumstances or struggles, secrecy was always in the forefront of my mind. Not only were there secrets my mother and I kept from the outside world, but this package secrecy included hiding my personal needs and feelings from my mother. I took it upon myself to become her emotional caregiver, masking any fears or pain in order to spare her additional fear or anxiety. By the tender age of 5, I no longer had the luxury of the joyful pursuits of a carefree childhood. My interpretation of the world excluded any bold expression of Heidi.
I carried this pattern of secrecy into my adult life for many years, not wanting to tell my friends when my marriage was failing, ashamed to reach out during financial crisis and when feeling isolated living on 120 acres in the Ozark Mountains with my 4 year old daughter. Rather than having challenges become lessons, I deemed them automatic failures, translating them into guilt, shame and a belief that I was not worthy to own expansiveness.
Not only did those feelings keep me running the hamster wheel of a mentally-contracted life, but without the willingness to reach out with honesty, there was no one to reflect back to me a picture of my true abilities. The lies I told myself were bigger than the lies I communicated to others. The awareness that this isolation was not productive did not reveal itself to me.
Yet, over time and with experience, I witnessed that the more I was willing to crack open the door and shine a light on my limiting thoughts, the easier it was to refocus on what I desired. During this period I hired my own life coach and realized the effectiveness of an impartial ally.
When we are honest about the limitations we are self imposing it becomes necessary to cry out with determination and state you’ve had enough of the mediocrity of stagnation. It is crucial that whoever you choose to share your transparency with be able to remain neutral.
And then … all possibilities became available and you enter the Passion Zone of life.
I am a Libra and this month my horoscope covered speaking and living my truth. There are many elements that comprise the ability to steadily live from your passion zone. Transparency is a key piece. We are often taught to hide our true feelings, our circumstances and our desires particularly when they are not congruent with social standards. I was taught this lesson early on as the daughter of a young divorced mother in the early 60’s when divorce was still taboo. Reminded by my mother, almost daily, not to tell anyone about our circumstances or struggles, secrecy was always in the forefront of my mind. Not only were there secrets my mother and I kept from the outside world, but this package secrecy included hiding my personal needs and feelings from my mother. I took it upon myself to become her emotional caregiver, masking any fears or pain in order to spare her additional fear or anxiety. By the tender age of 5, I no longer had the luxury of the joyful pursuits of a carefree childhood. My interpretation of the world excluded any bold expression of Heidi.
I carried this pattern of secrecy into my adult life for many years, not wanting to tell my friends when my marriage was failing, ashamed to reach out during financial crisis and when feeling isolated living on 120 acres in the Ozark Mountains with my 4 year old daughter. Rather than having challenges become lessons, I deemed them automatic failures, translating them into guilt, shame and a belief that I was not worthy to own expansiveness.
Not only did those feelings keep me running the hamster wheel of a mentally-contracted life, but without the willingness to reach out with honesty, there was no one to reflect back to me a picture of my true abilities. The lies I told myself were bigger than the lies I communicated to others. The awareness that this isolation was not productive did not reveal itself to me.
Yet, over time and with experience, I witnessed that the more I was willing to crack open the door and shine a light on my limiting thoughts, the easier it was to refocus on what I desired. During this period I hired my own life coach and realized the effectiveness of an impartial ally.
When we are honest about the limitations we are self imposing it becomes necessary to cry out with determination and state you’ve had enough of the mediocrity of stagnation. It is crucial that whoever you choose to share your transparency with be able to remain neutral.
And then … all possibilities became available and you enter the Passion Zone of life.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
― Brené Brown
August 22, 2014
Rita Mae Brown Quote
I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you. . .except yourself.
August 20, 2014
Taking a Risk!
What do you believe about yourself? How do you discern the difference between your truth and a belief you inherited from someone else? Beliefs are formed based on our experiences and they start at a very early age. We absorb what has been modeled for us making the belief our truth.
As a little girl I remember watching my Mom. She was the anchor of our family. Secretly I looked up to her; although being Daddy’s girl I never would admit it. Being a child of the great depression, Mom learned about sacrifice. She was a devoted mother and wife and always put the wishes of her family above her own desires. She did her very best with the information she had available; and like many women of that time she suffered from very low self-esteem and undiagnosed depression. My Mom never said anything positive about herself or her appearance. She never wanted her picture taken because she didn’t like the way she looked. For many decades I carried the same baggage of unworthiness and you know what…it was heavy! It weighed me down in unbelievable ways. Sitting on the sidelines and watching life happen because I didn’t think I was good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough to play the game called life. Hiding behind these beliefs was a form of protection. Playing small, not taking a risk meant not being hurt. That was then.
Breaking out of my shell and letting my true essence shine brightly took courage. My inner knowing; although dormant was always present, like a burning ember waiting to ignite to a blazing fire, urging me to rebel against the fixed beliefs. Through the years there were times I would dip my toe in the water, experience a rush of excitement and then retreat out of fear. Then one day I knew it was time to choose, to feel alive and create a different life for myself, shattering the walls escaping from my self imposed prison. An opportunity presented itself to stand tall and boldly declare “I am a beautiful, passionate, loving, inspiring woman”. Believing with all my heart, I have a distinct purpose on this planet and it is my responsibility to live my life aligned with that purpose.
Do you criticize your appearance? Has it become a habit? Do you continue to sacrifice your desires to meet the needs of others? Just the other day, I overheard a woman call herself stupid and complain about her body in front of her young impressionable daughter. The woman didn’t seem aware she was saying such hateful things to herself; it was like she was on autopilot. More unsettling the young girl was hanging onto every word her Mom was saying. Messages like these are subliminal and have a lasting effect. I ask, what messages are you sending?
You are the only one who knows your truth. It isn’t always easy but ask yourself this… Do I still believe this and how is it serving me now? If the belief continues to serve your highest potential and it feels good in your body when you say it, keep it! If you get a twinge in your body or it doesn’t sit well, throw it out with the bathwater; it doesn’t belong to you. Take a risk, question everything you believe or were taught to believe. Embrace your radiance just as you are right now. You have the ability to reinvent yourself anytime you choose as it’s your birthright to create the life you desire; do it with Bold Passion.
As a little girl I remember watching my Mom. She was the anchor of our family. Secretly I looked up to her; although being Daddy’s girl I never would admit it. Being a child of the great depression, Mom learned about sacrifice. She was a devoted mother and wife and always put the wishes of her family above her own desires. She did her very best with the information she had available; and like many women of that time she suffered from very low self-esteem and undiagnosed depression. My Mom never said anything positive about herself or her appearance. She never wanted her picture taken because she didn’t like the way she looked. For many decades I carried the same baggage of unworthiness and you know what…it was heavy! It weighed me down in unbelievable ways. Sitting on the sidelines and watching life happen because I didn’t think I was good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough to play the game called life. Hiding behind these beliefs was a form of protection. Playing small, not taking a risk meant not being hurt. That was then.
Breaking out of my shell and letting my true essence shine brightly took courage. My inner knowing; although dormant was always present, like a burning ember waiting to ignite to a blazing fire, urging me to rebel against the fixed beliefs. Through the years there were times I would dip my toe in the water, experience a rush of excitement and then retreat out of fear. Then one day I knew it was time to choose, to feel alive and create a different life for myself, shattering the walls escaping from my self imposed prison. An opportunity presented itself to stand tall and boldly declare “I am a beautiful, passionate, loving, inspiring woman”. Believing with all my heart, I have a distinct purpose on this planet and it is my responsibility to live my life aligned with that purpose.
Do you criticize your appearance? Has it become a habit? Do you continue to sacrifice your desires to meet the needs of others? Just the other day, I overheard a woman call herself stupid and complain about her body in front of her young impressionable daughter. The woman didn’t seem aware she was saying such hateful things to herself; it was like she was on autopilot. More unsettling the young girl was hanging onto every word her Mom was saying. Messages like these are subliminal and have a lasting effect. I ask, what messages are you sending?
You are the only one who knows your truth. It isn’t always easy but ask yourself this… Do I still believe this and how is it serving me now? If the belief continues to serve your highest potential and it feels good in your body when you say it, keep it! If you get a twinge in your body or it doesn’t sit well, throw it out with the bathwater; it doesn’t belong to you. Take a risk, question everything you believe or were taught to believe. Embrace your radiance just as you are right now. You have the ability to reinvent yourself anytime you choose as it’s your birthright to create the life you desire; do it with Bold Passion.
“The more we see ourselves as a vibrant, successful inspiring person who boldly declares and manifests her vision the more we become just that.”
~ Kristi Bowman
August 13, 2014
Richelle E. Goodrich Quote
“Courage to me is doing something daring, no matter how afraid, insecure, intimidated, alone, unworthy, incapable, ridiculed or whatever other paralyzing emotion you might feel. Courage is taking action…..no matter what. So you’re afraid? Be afraid. Be scared silly to the point you’re trembling and nauseous, but do it anyway!” ~ Richelle E. Goodrich
August 11, 2014
Where’s My Stuff?
Where’s my stuff?? . . . Where’s my man, where’s my woman, where’s my money, where’s my job… where’s my stuff?!
We finally know what we want, we’re clear with our desire to manifest it. We want it – NOW! So what’s the hold up? Going over the Manifesting To Do List, we see it all checked off. The To Do List is DONE!!
So what is the problem?? Is it that enlightened thing – detachment? Am I too attached to the outcome? But I want it. And I want it now! Or yesterday.
As soon as we ask the question, “Where is it?”, we focus on what is not here. It’s at that point we stop any progress that was underway and separate ourselves even further from the desired result. The wanting comes out of lack, and not out of desire. Consciously choosing more situations and experiences that keep our enthusiasm for each and every day at its maximum – that’s the easiest way to have stuff show up!
A few years ago, I had developed a new hand-painted jewelry line that I was passionate about. I wracked my brain for every possible marketing scenario to promote my beautiful pieces. Two particular ideas came to the forefront. American Idol was in its heyday and the prospective stars were donning new designer’s jewelry. One thought was to gift one of my pieces to a celebrity. I had recently watched What the Bleep!?: Down the Rabbit Hole, an Australian documentary about quantum physics that co-starred Elaine Hendrix. Having an 8th grader at the time, I had watched Elaine over and over again play the opportunistic fiancée in the remake of the movie The Parent Trap. I truly admired Elaine’s work and I wanted to get a necklace in her hands. Watching the Emmy’s and seeing the wonderful gift bags the celebrities received, one thought was to have my necklaces be a part of that process as well.
The excitement of each idea and what it would feel like to experience its manifestation was fun to entertain and play around with. However, after doing a bit of research, making either idea occur through sheer will seemed much more complicated and expensive than anticipated. I let go of my attachment to those ideas but occasionally would still play with the pleasure of seeing it happen.
Fast forward two years: a new exciting venture underway. I was co-developing a book series that compiled inspirational stories from women coaches like myself. There were a handful of celebrity authors invited to participate and we had one slot left to fill. One afternoon, I received a call from my editor. “Heidi, I don’t know how you would feel about this particular author… she is an actor and I am not sure you know her… Elaine Hendrix… are you familiar with her work?” I almost dropped the phone. Of all the authors available in our field … who would I be working with but Elaine! Now you can call that “coincidence” … but really? The odds are mind boggling.
There is one more piece to this story of being in allowance and non-attachment to the outcome. Not only did Elaine write a story for our book, but we took that book to . . . yes…the Emmy gifts suites and it was presented to many other celebrities.
While these two events played out a bit differently from the way I had originally envisioned them, I can assure you I enjoyed the manifesting just as much!
Experiencing life with your whole heart will not only bring more of what you desire but usually it will surpass what you could have imagined! That is living from the Passion Zone! Bring it on!
We finally know what we want, we’re clear with our desire to manifest it. We want it – NOW! So what’s the hold up? Going over the Manifesting To Do List, we see it all checked off. The To Do List is DONE!!
So what is the problem?? Is it that enlightened thing – detachment? Am I too attached to the outcome? But I want it. And I want it now! Or yesterday.
As soon as we ask the question, “Where is it?”, we focus on what is not here. It’s at that point we stop any progress that was underway and separate ourselves even further from the desired result. The wanting comes out of lack, and not out of desire. Consciously choosing more situations and experiences that keep our enthusiasm for each and every day at its maximum – that’s the easiest way to have stuff show up!
A few years ago, I had developed a new hand-painted jewelry line that I was passionate about. I wracked my brain for every possible marketing scenario to promote my beautiful pieces. Two particular ideas came to the forefront. American Idol was in its heyday and the prospective stars were donning new designer’s jewelry. One thought was to gift one of my pieces to a celebrity. I had recently watched What the Bleep!?: Down the Rabbit Hole, an Australian documentary about quantum physics that co-starred Elaine Hendrix. Having an 8th grader at the time, I had watched Elaine over and over again play the opportunistic fiancée in the remake of the movie The Parent Trap. I truly admired Elaine’s work and I wanted to get a necklace in her hands. Watching the Emmy’s and seeing the wonderful gift bags the celebrities received, one thought was to have my necklaces be a part of that process as well.
The excitement of each idea and what it would feel like to experience its manifestation was fun to entertain and play around with. However, after doing a bit of research, making either idea occur through sheer will seemed much more complicated and expensive than anticipated. I let go of my attachment to those ideas but occasionally would still play with the pleasure of seeing it happen.
Fast forward two years: a new exciting venture underway. I was co-developing a book series that compiled inspirational stories from women coaches like myself. There were a handful of celebrity authors invited to participate and we had one slot left to fill. One afternoon, I received a call from my editor. “Heidi, I don’t know how you would feel about this particular author… she is an actor and I am not sure you know her… Elaine Hendrix… are you familiar with her work?” I almost dropped the phone. Of all the authors available in our field … who would I be working with but Elaine! Now you can call that “coincidence” … but really? The odds are mind boggling.
There is one more piece to this story of being in allowance and non-attachment to the outcome. Not only did Elaine write a story for our book, but we took that book to . . . yes…the Emmy gifts suites and it was presented to many other celebrities.
While these two events played out a bit differently from the way I had originally envisioned them, I can assure you I enjoyed the manifesting just as much!
Experiencing life with your whole heart will not only bring more of what you desire but usually it will surpass what you could have imagined! That is living from the Passion Zone! Bring it on!
“Becoming the observer (step back) you begin to live in process, trusting. . . You begin to detach from the outcome. That detachment allows you to stop fighting and allows things to just come to you; you no longer make things happen but allow them to show up. The fight is gone!”
~ Wayne Dyer
August 4, 2014
C. JoyBell C.
The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes.
August 1, 2014
Outrageously Delicious!
It was skit day and everyone in the room was divided up into groups by the facilitator. Off to the side was a group of six middle aged women from diverse backgrounds. The facilitator went around the room giving each group instructions on the theme of their skit. It didn’t take long for this group of six to realize that the purpose of the skits pushed the envelope and encouraged the participants to expand beyond their comfort zones. The instructions were simple. In 24 hours these women would dance to a beautiful piece of music, dressed in belly dancer costumes. The women were stunned and emotions ranged from horror to anger. You see, these women were not a size 2 or a size 16 for that matter. They were plus size women and they were terrified at the thought of wearing revealing belly dancer garments and performing in front of the entire group.
Emotions ran high among the six; each one having their own objections and feelings of anger and resistance. They each had a choice to make, would they perform or walk away. Collectively, after voicing all their objections, decisions were made. It was unanimous, they would perform. As time was of the essence, they decided to shop immediately and gather necessary items to create the costumes. Spending hours at the local Walmart the women decided to focus on the positive. They found ways to disguise the parts of their bodies they perceived as imperfect with beautiful scarves and sheer fabric while staying true to the overall intent and feel of skit theme. As the night progressed something memorable happened. These women formed a sisterhood. They decided in the moment they would hold their heads up high and stand tall, truly embracing their opulence. Each one vowed they would make eye contact with one another while dancing, trusting they would be captivated by the rhythm of the music and become oblivious to their surroundings. The end result…a brilliant display of authenticity. They connected with their greatness and magnificence, capturing the hearts of everyone in the room. Men and women bowed down, with tears in their eyes, expressing they had never witnessed such beauty.
These women are my sisters, I was one of the six and this experience represents a significant point in my life. It liberated me beyond my wildest imagination. Surrendering my inhibitions, living in the moment, gave me a sense of freedom that remains untarnished.
Do you consider yourself to be an outrageous woman; pushing beyond the conventional limits? If not, would you like to be? Deep inside there is a place of rebellion in all of us. The place where we say…hell no, I’m doing it my way! It’s when we throw caution to the wind and we choose to live without limitation. When we identify with our true self no one can stop us from living our dreams.
If you find yourself sitting on the sidelines watching life go by because you’re fearful of what others may say or think…stop it…stop it right now! Life is way too short; decide to move beyond the limitations imposed by fear. The only thing fear does is keep you captive to your current circumstances. If you desire a spectacular life, declare it boldly. Consistently connect to the energy that makes you feel victorious; become the champion of your destiny. You deserve the exuberance of living an outrageously delicious life, and I encourage you to Live It, Love It, and Be It with Bold Passion!
Emotions ran high among the six; each one having their own objections and feelings of anger and resistance. They each had a choice to make, would they perform or walk away. Collectively, after voicing all their objections, decisions were made. It was unanimous, they would perform. As time was of the essence, they decided to shop immediately and gather necessary items to create the costumes. Spending hours at the local Walmart the women decided to focus on the positive. They found ways to disguise the parts of their bodies they perceived as imperfect with beautiful scarves and sheer fabric while staying true to the overall intent and feel of skit theme. As the night progressed something memorable happened. These women formed a sisterhood. They decided in the moment they would hold their heads up high and stand tall, truly embracing their opulence. Each one vowed they would make eye contact with one another while dancing, trusting they would be captivated by the rhythm of the music and become oblivious to their surroundings. The end result…a brilliant display of authenticity. They connected with their greatness and magnificence, capturing the hearts of everyone in the room. Men and women bowed down, with tears in their eyes, expressing they had never witnessed such beauty.
These women are my sisters, I was one of the six and this experience represents a significant point in my life. It liberated me beyond my wildest imagination. Surrendering my inhibitions, living in the moment, gave me a sense of freedom that remains untarnished.
Do you consider yourself to be an outrageous woman; pushing beyond the conventional limits? If not, would you like to be? Deep inside there is a place of rebellion in all of us. The place where we say…hell no, I’m doing it my way! It’s when we throw caution to the wind and we choose to live without limitation. When we identify with our true self no one can stop us from living our dreams.
If you find yourself sitting on the sidelines watching life go by because you’re fearful of what others may say or think…stop it…stop it right now! Life is way too short; decide to move beyond the limitations imposed by fear. The only thing fear does is keep you captive to your current circumstances. If you desire a spectacular life, declare it boldly. Consistently connect to the energy that makes you feel victorious; become the champion of your destiny. You deserve the exuberance of living an outrageously delicious life, and I encourage you to Live It, Love It, and Be It with Bold Passion!
“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.”
― Mae West
July 30, 2014
Mandy Hale Quote
You’re beautiful, just the way you are. Shine On. And dare anyone to turn off the lights. ~ Mandy Hale
July 28, 2014
Feel the Rush
Are you living each day with tingling anticipation and outrageous courage, riding each wave in exuberance? Life is meant to be embraced boldly, and exquisitely! We all know this in theory. As we entered adulthood, we embraced this concept, excited to make our mark and discover the mysteries of the world. We jumped into the middle of new experiences with fervor and excitement, and little concern about consequences because we saw every experience as a new opportunity!
Last year, I received a call from a dear friend whom I hadn’t seen in many years. She quickly brought me up to date on the major changes and upheavals in her relationship arena. Close to fifty, my friend had the awareness of living too many years in the shadows and within minutes was expressing the desire of learning to laugh and live fully again, planning a one-month trip to Europe with me as her road dog! Even as a life coach, my old “tapes” began to kick in with thoughts of . . . “how in the world?”. Luckily I heard them immediately and shut them down, and I committed to joining my friend on her quest for self discovery. For a month we traveled the back roads of Italy, the spa region of Slovenia and the wine trail in Austria, flying by the seat of our pants and loving every minute of it! We coined these experiences as our Nomadic Adventures and I watched my friend learn how to laugh, play and live fully with a childlike sense of wonder that was exhilarating.
My friend made a conscious choice to throw caution to the wind, ride the waves again, dance through the streets of Venice, waving her arms and yelling “Bring it”! Almost one year later, she is in a new relationship and continues to live “full on” with courage and conviction, knowing she deserves all her desires.
Sometimes we have one chance, to ride that wave, one opportunity to jump on, take a deep breath and feel the rush of adrenaline . . . don’t miss your chance. Isn’t now the time to join us in the Passion Zone of life!
Last year, I received a call from a dear friend whom I hadn’t seen in many years. She quickly brought me up to date on the major changes and upheavals in her relationship arena. Close to fifty, my friend had the awareness of living too many years in the shadows and within minutes was expressing the desire of learning to laugh and live fully again, planning a one-month trip to Europe with me as her road dog! Even as a life coach, my old “tapes” began to kick in with thoughts of . . . “how in the world?”. Luckily I heard them immediately and shut them down, and I committed to joining my friend on her quest for self discovery. For a month we traveled the back roads of Italy, the spa region of Slovenia and the wine trail in Austria, flying by the seat of our pants and loving every minute of it! We coined these experiences as our Nomadic Adventures and I watched my friend learn how to laugh, play and live fully with a childlike sense of wonder that was exhilarating.
My friend made a conscious choice to throw caution to the wind, ride the waves again, dance through the streets of Venice, waving her arms and yelling “Bring it”! Almost one year later, she is in a new relationship and continues to live “full on” with courage and conviction, knowing she deserves all her desires.
Sometimes we have one chance, to ride that wave, one opportunity to jump on, take a deep breath and feel the rush of adrenaline . . . don’t miss your chance. Isn’t now the time to join us in the Passion Zone of life!
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
― Anaïs Nin
