The Mediocrity of Stagnation
Reading my horoscope is not something I do on a daily or even a weekly basis. However, there is a local astrologer that I reference once a month as his writing is consistently insightful and germane to my life at large.
I am a Libra and this month my horoscope covered speaking and living my truth. There are many elements that comprise the ability to steadily live from your passion zone. Transparency is a key piece. We are often taught to hide our true feelings, our circumstances and our desires particularly when they are not congruent with social standards. I was taught this lesson early on as the daughter of a young divorced mother in the early 60’s when divorce was still taboo. Reminded by my mother, almost daily, not to tell anyone about our circumstances or struggles, secrecy was always in the forefront of my mind. Not only were there secrets my mother and I kept from the outside world, but this package secrecy included hiding my personal needs and feelings from my mother. I took it upon myself to become her emotional caregiver, masking any fears or pain in order to spare her additional fear or anxiety. By the tender age of 5, I no longer had the luxury of the joyful pursuits of a carefree childhood. My interpretation of the world excluded any bold expression of Heidi.
I carried this pattern of secrecy into my adult life for many years, not wanting to tell my friends when my marriage was failing, ashamed to reach out during financial crisis and when feeling isolated living on 120 acres in the Ozark Mountains with my 4 year old daughter. Rather than having challenges become lessons, I deemed them automatic failures, translating them into guilt, shame and a belief that I was not worthy to own expansiveness.
Not only did those feelings keep me running the hamster wheel of a mentally-contracted life, but without the willingness to reach out with honesty, there was no one to reflect back to me a picture of my true abilities. The lies I told myself were bigger than the lies I communicated to others. The awareness that this isolation was not productive did not reveal itself to me.
Yet, over time and with experience, I witnessed that the more I was willing to crack open the door and shine a light on my limiting thoughts, the easier it was to refocus on what I desired. During this period I hired my own life coach and realized the effectiveness of an impartial ally.
When we are honest about the limitations we are self imposing it becomes necessary to cry out with determination and state you’ve had enough of the mediocrity of stagnation. It is crucial that whoever you choose to share your transparency with be able to remain neutral.
And then … all possibilities became available and you enter the Passion Zone of life.
I am a Libra and this month my horoscope covered speaking and living my truth. There are many elements that comprise the ability to steadily live from your passion zone. Transparency is a key piece. We are often taught to hide our true feelings, our circumstances and our desires particularly when they are not congruent with social standards. I was taught this lesson early on as the daughter of a young divorced mother in the early 60’s when divorce was still taboo. Reminded by my mother, almost daily, not to tell anyone about our circumstances or struggles, secrecy was always in the forefront of my mind. Not only were there secrets my mother and I kept from the outside world, but this package secrecy included hiding my personal needs and feelings from my mother. I took it upon myself to become her emotional caregiver, masking any fears or pain in order to spare her additional fear or anxiety. By the tender age of 5, I no longer had the luxury of the joyful pursuits of a carefree childhood. My interpretation of the world excluded any bold expression of Heidi.
I carried this pattern of secrecy into my adult life for many years, not wanting to tell my friends when my marriage was failing, ashamed to reach out during financial crisis and when feeling isolated living on 120 acres in the Ozark Mountains with my 4 year old daughter. Rather than having challenges become lessons, I deemed them automatic failures, translating them into guilt, shame and a belief that I was not worthy to own expansiveness.
Not only did those feelings keep me running the hamster wheel of a mentally-contracted life, but without the willingness to reach out with honesty, there was no one to reflect back to me a picture of my true abilities. The lies I told myself were bigger than the lies I communicated to others. The awareness that this isolation was not productive did not reveal itself to me.
Yet, over time and with experience, I witnessed that the more I was willing to crack open the door and shine a light on my limiting thoughts, the easier it was to refocus on what I desired. During this period I hired my own life coach and realized the effectiveness of an impartial ally.
When we are honest about the limitations we are self imposing it becomes necessary to cry out with determination and state you’ve had enough of the mediocrity of stagnation. It is crucial that whoever you choose to share your transparency with be able to remain neutral.
And then … all possibilities became available and you enter the Passion Zone of life.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
― Brené Brown









Published on September 09, 2014 14:26
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