David Erik Nelson's Blog, page 36
November 22, 2012
I'm Having Trouble Cheering for the Bullying of Bullies; Do I Need Therapy?
Anonymous and MTV: trying to protect kids online. - Slate Magazine (more detailed coverage here: Daily Dot | How Anonymous helped prevent a teen's suicide)
So, the tl;dr on this: A teenaged girl is being bullied at school. One evening when she's feeling especially low on Twitter, a pair of these bullies start hounding her to cut and kill herself. Some folks (evidently from Anonymous, or some similar group) swoop in to her defense--by threatening and hounding the bullies.
On the one hand, we want to say "Yeah! The Internet does a good thing! Protects damsel in distress!" but on the other, this really looks like a bunch of adults coming in and bullying two other kids (albeit ones who are being assholes and--regardless of whether they understand the repercussions or not--dangerously goading a classmate; I'll set aside the weirdly racist/homophibic/sexist overtones of the counter-bullying).
As a male-type person fully acquainted with the low impulses of male-type people (and obviously assuming these counter-bullies were likewise male-type people) I have to wonder: Were these saviors roused to righteous anger by the cruelty of these bullies, or was their righteous anger casting about looking for a justifiable target? Does a notion like "forcing them to do the right thing" even precisely make sense? And why does this all make things like this headline gong in my head so damn loud?
I'm going to level with you, Internet: This doesn't seem like progress, somehow. It just feels like that time Mike Tyson got pissed at a reporter and, in the midst of his tirade, shouted: I'll fuck you 'til you love me, faggot!"--a phrase that always comes to mind when I hear people talking about how we can bomb our way to peace, or how the *real* solution to movie-theater shootings or sexual assaults or police brutality is for everyone to have a gun all the time.
November 19, 2012
"I Didn’t Come Back to Jerusalem To Be in a War"
I don’t know how to talk about what is happening here but it’s probably less about writers’ block than readers’ block. It says so much about the state of our discourse that the surest way to enrage everyone is to tweet about peace in the Middle East. We should be doing better because, much as I hate to say it, the harrowing accounts of burnt-out basements and baby shoes on each side of this conflict don’t constitute a conversation. Counting and photographing and tweeting injured children on each side isn’t dialogue. Scoring your own side’s suffering is a powerful way to avoid fixing the real problems, and trust me when I tell you that everyone—absolutely everyone—is suffering and sad and yet being sad is not fixing the problems either.
One good lesson I am learning this week is to shut up and listen. Because the only way to cut through the mutual agony here is to find people who have solutions and to hear what they have to say. Bombing the other side into oblivion is no more a solution than counting your dead children in public. The best thing about shutting up and listening? You eventually lose the impulse to speak.
Please don’t judge. Work toward solutions. Because everyone on every side of this is desperate. This isn’t a way to live and we all know it. Last night I was at a study session with a group of women in Jerusalem. A teenage girl was crying and I assumed it was over a guy. It’s always a guy. But it wasn’t. She was headed to the army today. . . .
I heard on NPR this morning--sort of mentioned in passing--that the IDF (Israeli Defense Forces) call and text people in Gaza before bombing. I frankly found that hard to believe, but it appears to be the case (also reported in the New York Times and other sources, in case it seems like I'm being naive). I . . . I don't even know what to do with knowing that. It somehow puts me in the mind of this conversation Vonnegut recounts having with movie producer Harrison Starr.
November 14, 2012
There Are No Red or Blue States: A More Precise Map of the Electorate
As we all gird ourselves to be with our often fractious families over the upcoming long weekend, it behooves us to meditate long and deep upon our Purple Mountain's Majesty, and our Pinkly Fruited Plains.
As ever, we're One Nation, under a False Impression, with Liberty and Justice as long as we're willing to work to keep them. Amen
[image error]
This Is the Real Political Map of America—We Are Not That Divided
There's no huge area of red. There is a gradient. A lot of purple. That's the accurate map that reflects the actual result of the election. It also shows that the divide between the cities and the countryside is not that huge. There are differences of opinion everywhere.
The large map is even better. It factors in population density, showing the importance of every county based on the population. The lighter the color, the less populated, the less weight in the election. The more saturated it is, the more populated and more weight it shows.
*thx, alan b!*
November 13, 2012
UPDATE: Accuser Recants Underage-Sex Allegations Against Voice-of-Elmo Guy
One day after publicly accusing Kevin Clash (the puppeteer behind Elmo) of having molested him, Clash's accuser has recanted. I, for one, am not particularly interested in who consenting adults have sex with, but since we posted about the initial accusation, this seemed to warrant a follow-up:
Accuser Recants Allegation Against Elmo Puppeteer - NYTimes.com
The man who accused Kevin Clash, the voice and puppeteer of the “Sesame Street” character Elmo, of an underage sexual relationship has recanted that claim, his lawyer said on Tuesday. The reversal came a day after the claim was first published by the gossip Web site TMZ.
Evidently third-party investigators checked out the accusations months ago, and deemed them to be without merit (a fact that sounds more persuasive when not presented within "scare quotes"). Likely the rest of us should do likewise. I heard that there were some other adults who also did some sex that we're all supposed to be very angry about. I likewise don't give a crap about that.
November 8, 2012
Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) Classic issue #526 (published February 17, 2011): "Making the Kessel run in under twelve parsecs."
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Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) Classic issue #526 (published February 17, 2011)
Making the Kessel run in under twelve parsecs.
Giant Squid: Ask the Giant Squid: The Lazy and Ignorant Come Testing Day by the Giant Squidwill i pass the exam
bye
lorna
My Dearest Lorna,
I am much afeared that the answer is, almost entirely beyond the doubt's shadow, No; you shall not pass the exam.
Many factors contribute to this, my conclusion. First and foremost, if the exam is to be administered in English, and if any portion of it should offer you the opportunity to self-express beyond the simple selection of a forced multiple choice, then it is assured that your final score will be penalized in direct proportion to the looseness of your grasp of your mother tongue, which is itself at best a slapdash concatenation of Latin loan-words, Greek borrow phrases, a mismatched collection of suffixes and prefixes outright stolen from the Germans, several loose handfuls of bolts, some wax, and a crippled Tlingit's kerosene-soaked contempt for reliable syntax. Even within that flexible frame, it is hard to argue that your free-form writing complies with its norms. In this regard, I find your failure to punctuate especially ill-boding, and your ignorance of—or overt laziness preventing your acceding to—the widely accepted English norm of capitalizing the first-person singular pronoun to be downright distressing; have you, as of late, suffered a closed, yet traumatic, head injury? . . .
Fiction: Rejected Curios: Joe Louie Armstrong's "Valved Bugle" by David Erik NelsonLot 238 is an American-style "valved bugle" of uncertain provenance.
When he ascended to the Moon in 1938 to defeat Nazi German heavyweight Max Schmeling, Joe Louie Armstrong not only roused his flagging nation, but also became the first black astro-pugilist to play trumpet on the Moon. As Schmeling staggered, then crumpled to his knees in the gunpowdery dust of the makeshift boxing ring, a captivated world tuned in for Armstrong's historic first transmission . . .
Poetry: A Wiki-Leaked Document On The Status Of The Giant Squid by Mel C. ThompsonNo one knows how he learned to read and write English.
Rumor has it a former Soviet scuba diver taught him.
This was translated into a form of complex sign language
involving the use of each of the suction cups and tentacles.
The methodology is far too intricate to explain in this stanza. . . .
Rant: Rebuttal To "The Word 'White'" (March 18, 1854) by Kevin VorshakI must, with great emphasis, set straight the words proffered by Mr. Frederick Douglass yesterday with regards to the Homestead Bill of 1854. . . .
November 7, 2012
RECOMMENDED READING: Just Ride: A Radically Practical Guide to Riding Your Bike by Grant Peterson
Although this is framed as a manifesto by a former bike-racer-turned-designer/bike-populist, railing against what "racer mentality" has done to the otherwise universal American pastime of "riding bikes," I'm *manically* recommending it to anyone who likes to pedal. It's a great, great book: a quick, fun read composed of short, tightly focused practical articles. the book is *packed* with excellent advice on fitness, maintenance, bike fitting, and riding techniques. E.g., this was the first I'd heard about using your hips to assist cornering, and it's *changed my life.* I disagree with him about helmets (since I started riding daily in a city full of drivers-from-elsewhere, I'm *deeply* committed to my relationship with my brain bucket), but his points about how to own a slightly larger slice of the road by giving the *impression* that you're an incompetent rider has been revelatory.
I've never been tainted by the bike-racing headspace (I'm *waaaaaay* to lazy to be into competitive *anything*), but I read this book in a single day, and have been going back to it frequently since, applying Peterson's tips to my bike, diet, and exercise regimen. Get a copy, read it, and keep it close at hand.
November 6, 2012
Michigan: Don't forget to Vote NO on Prop 6
Just a gentle reminder that now is the time when all good Michiganders must rise up and Vote *NO* on Prop 6!
I had tacos today with the Consul General of Canada, Roy Norton (the good looking one in the photo on the left), and in my presence he swore to an American child that Canada would pay for the New International Trade Crossing *in its entirety.* I just can't make the situation any planer: Matty Moroun (owner of the existing Ambassador Bridge) is a crusty old bridge troll, and Canada is a totally stand-up nation. Case *closed.*
Also, I really wanna get this free sandwich.
Satchel's BBQ to offer free sandwiches on November 7 if voters defeat Proposal 6
So, Vote NO on Prop 6 (and Prop 5, if you get a chance. And also for Obama, if you're cool with that. Thanks!)
Also, this is kinda kooky and fun; Enjoy!
October 28, 2012
"'If you feed the horse enough oats, some will pass through to the road for the sparrows"
I.e., the 99% are shit-eating birds? *sigh* Kinda preferred "gleaners."
If *all* this vid does is introduce you to the 19th Century term "Horse-and-Sparrow Theory" (as a dysphemism for "Trickle-down Economics"), then our work here is done.
October 26, 2012
October 25, 2012
Live in MI? Vote *NO* on Props 5 and 6; Live Anywhere? Stop Being Politically Cynical
I continue to write a column for the Ann Arbor Chronicle. The latest one seeks to counteract a huge, manipulative ad campaign being run by a somewhat nefarious billionaire looking to fundamentally cripple our ability to functionally run Michigan.
Please Vote NO on Props 5 and 6; touch base with everyone you know in Michigan, and make sure they're planning on voting *against* these shenanigans, too.
Larger than local politics, this billionaire's efforts to hoodwink us really rely on our active connivance, by preying on our suspicions of the worst in each other. Even if you don't live in Michigan--poor devils!--there's something to be learned from what's happening here:
The Ann Arbor Chronicle | In it for the Money: Kleptocracy
. . .
What [billionaire] Moroun is preying upon is our knee-jerk “common sense” conviction that government – which is the subset of ourselves that we charge with the job of keeping the house tidy so the rest of us can earn a living – is essentially incompetent. More so than mudslinging in political ads or lies during debates, it’s this core cynicism – a cynicism we each individually carry in our hearts and reproduce over and over again with pithily captioned pictures posted to Facebook, and re-shared links to spurious infographics, and caps-locked screeds – that’s poisoning us as a nation.
Listen, I love you, so I feel like can say this: Cynicism is the mechanical thing that dumb people do to seem wise. It’s a display of our most fundamental weakness: the ardent desire to be right.
Knee-jerk anti-governmentalism is the equivalent of thinking you’re precognizant because you can look at the succulent, exquisitely prepared dinner that’s been set before you, turn to your host and confidently claim: “In the next several hours, this luxurious banquet will be rendered into fecal matter by the action of our digestive systems.” That doesn’t make you a reliable forecaster of human events; it just makes you a boor. I don’t think any post-adolescent needs constant reminders of the basics: people lie, humans are fallible, puppies become stinky old dogs, and everyone dies. We do need to remind each other that we can and should live our lives, wash that dog, help each other recover from our failures, and correct the liars.
. . .
The day this column went live I got a *really* nice email from the Consul General of Canada complimenting me on my efforts. Don't let anyone speak ill of Canadians to you. That whole damn nation is one huge class act.
(Yeah, I know this is a repost, but Mojo and I had different stuff to say about this column; give some dudes a break. We contain multitudes. Multitudes of multi-dudes. god i'm so tired.)
