David Erik Nelson's Blog, page 17
December 1, 2022
Recommended Read/Listen: “20 Simple Steps to Ventriloquism” by Jon Padgett
PseudoPod 433: “20 Simple Steps to Ventriloquism”
I absolutely guarantee the last couple twists are ones you ain’t gonna see coming, dummy.
[photo credit: “Photo booth portrait of two clowns and a ventriloquist dummy” by oakenroad is licensed under CC BY 2.0. ]
November 24, 2022
Our Most Important Thanksgiving Traditions 🦃💀
I’m a child of the 1980s, so most of my nostalgic holiday memories are TV-related. 
THANKSGIVING TURKEY GIVEAWAY! (WKRP in Cincinnati) from Tony DeSanto on Vimeo.
(Yeah, I repost this every year, because I love this gag, and because watching this on TV—and rehashing it with my mom and sisters each year—is one of my fondest holiday memories. But it is, in my humble, a damn-near perfect gag. That’s saying something, because I find single-camera laugh-track situation comedies almost entirely unbearable to watch. If you wanna read more of my thoughts on this specific gag and what it can teach writers, you can do so here.)
(I wrote this essay a few years back; every word is both true and factual—which is a harder trick than you’d think.)
You’ll be 15 minutes into that Lesser Family Feast in Michigan when your mother-in-law will turn to you and ask:
“What do Jews do on Thanksgiving?”
You should be prepared for this sort of thing in Michigan. But even though I’m warning you in advance, you still won’t be prepared.…
(excerpt from IN MICHIGAN: A PRIMER, A TRAVELOGUE)
I hope your day is good and sweet. Gobblegobble! 
November 16, 2022
Shameless Self-Promotion: Award Eligibility 2022🚀🦑🏆
I have exactly one story published this year eligible for Nebulas, Stokers, and so on:
“This Place Is Best Shunned” on Tor.com
It’s a free read for all; if you should wanna nominate it for anything, it runs ~10,000 words, and thus falls into either the “novelette” or “long fiction” categories. Enjoy!
November 15, 2022
testing a wordpress plug-in
It’s just a test.
AND IT WORKED!!!
November 12, 2022
“Big Dick Brigade!” *tee hee!*
Yes, this was a real ad for a real thing, with no entendre intended. And, yes, I have the mentality of a toddler.
Although lines of ad copy such as “Get Big Dick and be envied by every boy in town,” “Become a member of the ‘Big Dick Brigade,’” and “How to get BIG DICK free” might seem like obvious double entendres to modern audiences, they were not read as such by customers of the time.
“Is This a Real Ad for a ‘Big Dick’ Machine Gun for Kids?” by David Mikkelson
November 2, 2022
subject: “DAVID, BE YOURSELF – You are perfect in every way!”
Whenever folks are like “Dave, aren’t you worried about AI making your job obsolete?” I’ll just remember this crackerjack spam bot’s best attempt at closing the sale:
SPOILER ALERT: I’m an emphatically Jewish straight cis-gendered father who looks awful in long-sleeved T-shirts/crew-necked sweatshirts.
October 31, 2022
wh… what? o_O
I guess Mac OS…thinks there is an equal likelihood that a user typing “bear” into the emoji search is looking for a fuzzy black man and a bear?
see also: “bear,” i guess
October 24, 2022
Halloween Treats from Dave-o!!! 🍂🍁🎃👻🕯🤡🔪🥩💀
A handful of seasonally-appropriate tales:
LISTEN: Episode 209: “The Slender Men” by David Erik Nelson LISTEN AND READ: PseudoPod 649: “Whatever Comes After Calcutta” READ: “This Place Is Best Shunned”PLAY: “Brights (In the Midst of Darkness, Light Persists)” BUY: There Was a Crooked Man, He Flipped a Crooked House
