David Erik Nelson's Blog, page 14

“re: Thesis defense issue…”

I loved this story, “RE: Thesis defense issue – kalirush ” —and only later learned that it was a riff on an old McSweeney’s piece that, yeah, is fun but suffers from the baked-in McSweeney’s problem (i.e., that it “approaches humor with a lab coat and tweezers.”)

Anyway, this amateur fan-fic riff is better, because it is actually funny, not just theoretically funny and basically funny shaped.

[the image above is an XKCD comic]

The Groundbreaking “Computer Speech” Record from Bell Labs (1963)

Hear the groundbreaking “Computer Speech” record from Bell Telephone Laboratories, which features synthesized speech created by one of the earliest computer speech synthesis systems. Directed by D.H. VanLenten, this record represents a significant milestone in the development of speech synthesis technology. … You’ll also discover how punched cards were used to provide the computer with detailed instructions on how to manipulate the various formants to produce different sounds [and] explore the fascinating technique called formant synthesis, which involves simulating the resonances of the human vocal tract, and the IBM 704 computer used to generate the speech sounds. 

Incidentally, this record predates Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey by four years, and came out at least a year  before he began considering the project in earnest. We know that his work in 2001 was influenced by educational materials from the time; hard to believe this wasn’t one of them. 

Anyway, just for the record: this “talking computer” was exactly as intelligent as ChatGPT or any current AI, and considerably less so than a parrot—and inspired the same blue-sky certainty in the media. Hell, here’s an article about computers talking and reliably taking natural-language instruction within the next decade!!! (It was written in 1959.):

Does Russia Have Any Functional Nukes?

Thunderf00t—who I don’t always agree with or necessarily like—makes an excellent point around the 18 minute mark in this video. The jist of it is this: nuclear weapons are fragile as hell and expensive to maintain (to the tune of ~$1 million per year). If not properly cared for, they don’t kaBOOOOM! and Chernobyl us all to Mad Max land. Instead, they look perfectly fine and useful, but when you go to launch them, they fizzle like damp firecrackers (albeit damp firecrackers that can spread radiation; but still, while awful, a dirty bomb is not a nuclear bomb).

Russia is a first-order corrupt kleptocracy, as demonstrated by their current Ukrainian misadventure. If they haven’t been maintaining the cheap and easy stuff (like tanks), then they sure as hell aren’t maintaining the expensive stuff that’s hard to spot check for compliance (like nukes).

(Honestly, the whole video makes a series of inter-nesting excellent points, and is worth watching. The major thrust is that there are a lot of dogwhistles blowing out there, signaling who is and is not an actual nuclear superpower.)

In Honor of Indictment Day

“Has my radical hysterectomy made me less radical?”

Distraction of the Day: Supershape Kaliediscopetronics!

Check out this Supershape visual fidget thingy. Make sure to double-click it; that’s where the fun is.

famous ∧ children’s author ∧ British ⇒ antisemite

From Lewis Carroll’s Symbolic Logic (1896):

POSIT: IF you are a famous children’s author AND you are British THEN you are an antisemite.

(cf. Roald Dahl, J.K. Rowling, this asshat, probably Rudyard Kipling, etc.)

As an aside, the fact that Carroll (who came from a family of high-church Anglicans and took holy orders) wrote #21 tends to give credence to #20: All W.A.S.Ps are unfriendly.

Recommended Watch: WE GOT A DOG (SHORT FILM)

Recommended Read: “What It Feels Like To Die” by Warren Benedetto

“What It Feels Like To Die” by Warren Benedetto

I’m usually against drabble[1]; I’m not against this. Go read it now.

[1] short version: the constraint is uninterestingly arbitrary, and very few authors are up to the limitation; much as “five-minute horror film” almost always translates to “one dumb jump scare,” “drabble” almost always translates to “squandered half-an-idea.”

“Read an Ebook Week 2023” Ends Tomorrow! Don’t miss cheap (and FREE) ebooks!

This sale ends tomorrow—but until then all of my books on Smashwords are still steeply discounted (some down to the low-low price of FREE!) Go check it out, snatch up some deals, and spread the word while you still can!!!

WEIRDEST BOOK: “Tucker Teaches the Clockies to Copulate” (steampunk with a smattering of kinky robots) MOST POPULAR BOOK: “There Was a Crooked Man, He Flipped a Crooked House” (haunted house/cosmic horror novel)FREE BOOK!!! “The New Guys Always Work Overtime” (award-winning time-portal/“take-this-job-and-shove-it” story)

“Read an Ebook Week 2023” Starts Today! Cheap ebooks! Free ebooks!

Starting today all of my books on Smashwords are discounted (some down to the low-low price of FREE!). Go check it out, snatch up some deals, and spread the word!!!

WEIRDEST BOOK: “Tucker Teaches the Clockies to Copulate” (steampunk with a smattering of kinky robots) MOST POPULAR BOOK: “There Was a Crooked Man, He Flipped a Crooked House” (haunted house/cosmic horror novel)FREE BOOK!!! “The New Guys Always Work Overtime” (award-winning time-portal/“take-this-job-and-shove-it” story)