Thom S. Rainer's Blog, page 26

How to Recover from a Toxic Church and Bounce Back Even Better

When the church causes hurt, it pollutes God’s calling and creates a toxicity that works against the gospel.

The goal is to minimize church hurt and maximize church unity. Here is reality. Something will happen in almost every church because ministry includes people. In some cases, the pastor is the cause of the hurt. In other cases, the people of the church hurt the pastor. Pastors can be responsible for church hurt, but this article focuses on how pastors should respond when experiencing a toxic church culture.

Pastors can experience various forms of church hurt, some more painful than others.

“I’m not being fed, so I’m leaving.”“People are saying. . .”“I love you, but. . .”“I noticed you bought a vehicle. How can you afford that?”“You should listen and learn from my favorite YouTube preacher.”“I support you, but I don’t want to talk to my friends about their negative attitudes.”“Why do your kids act that way?”“Why is your spouse not more involved?”

Now, there is a difference between hurt and toxicity. The former is personal. The latter is cultural. You may experience toxicity but not be personally hurt. You may be personally hurt but not in a toxic culture. Or you may feel the compounding effects of both. 

Not toxic or hurtful: A healthy church acts as God designed.Toxic, but not hurtful: The culture is poisonous, but the people are not after you personally.Not toxic, but hurtful: In these cases, an individual or small group is attacking you unbeknownst to the rest of the congregation. This situation is usually short-term, as even a small group will eventually affect the church’s culture.Toxic and hurtful: The culture is hurtful, and at least some people are after you personally.

Though there is much overlap between toxic church culture and personal hurt, making this distinction is critical for pastors. The pathway to reconciliation is clearer when a toxic culture is not present because the process involves a small group of people (perhaps just two) rather than the entire congregation. What are some warning signs of a toxic church culture?

Exclusion: When outsiders are intentionally pushed out. Contempt: When willful disobedience is used to show disrespect.Hypocrisy: When key leaders act in a way that contradicts what they teach.Betrayal: When people use your trust for their own personal gain.Gossip: When people consistently share sensitive information about you and others without permission.Neglect: When obvious problems are left unattended for long periods of time.Duplicity: When people intend harm by misrepresenting the truth.Conflict: When disagreements go unresolved, and no one seeks reconciliation.

The first step is determining whether God desires you to stay in the toxic church culture. Someone will need to shepherd the people out of their toxicity. Perhaps it is you. Maybe it is someone else. Whether you stay or go, you will need to bounce back. Part of shepherding is working your way out of a low place for the sake of serving others.

Where am I going? I recommend pastors stay in a church until they have another job in the queue. Though some churches may be so toxic an immediate exit is warranted, in most cases, staying until you have another position is best for the pastor, family, and church body. If you choose to stay, don’t compromise your ability to solve the problem by adding to the toxicity with careless rants and unwise responses.

On whom am I relying? You should recognize your feelings but rely on God’s supernatural strength. Wallowing in your feelings will prevent you from following the Holy Spirit. Before making major decisions, pray for a season and listen carefully to God.

What is my motive? Leaving because you are personally hurt is different than leaving because of a culture of toxicity. You must first discern what is driving your decisions. If you do not work out your motives, others (even your friends) will not understand your predicament. Internal clarity should precede external communication.

Am I overreacting? Pastors can be overly sensitive. If you have the gift of empathy, then you might also become emotionally overcharged. Additionally, personal loneliness and discouragement can compound the effects of a toxic culture. Are you hurt because someone targeted you? Or are you hurt because of situational difficulties?

Am I making healing a priority? You may be hurting, but do not hurt yourself any further. Take time away. Refresh and decompress. A few days of rest can resolve a lot of stress. Also, prioritize healing, but don’t use recovery as an excuse to become apathetic.

Am I asking for help? Seek the help you need and do not walk alone. No one should navigate a difficult season solo. Make phone calls to your mentor, counselor, and close friends. Be grateful for those who respond positively. When I went through a tough church situation, a handful of people stood with me. Without them, I would not be ministering today. One of them has become a best friend. Our friendship started when he reached out to me, offering help.

You can bounce back. Indeed, you must bounce back for the sake of God’s kingdom. Shepherding a congregation is never easy. Sometimes the valley includes a season of toxicity. You may even get hurt. But the gospel heals. And the gospel is worth the effort to get better.

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Uber Evangelism: Three Lessons

I am close to finishing my second 30-day round of The Hope Initiative. It is a simple process of praying, studying Scripture, and going in one form or another. It is simple obedience to the Great Commission. 

May I share with you three lessons I have learned about myself in each of these 30-day periods? The lessons have been basic but profound for me. 

Lesson 1: I have a long way to go in being consistently obedient in sharing the gospel.  

I often hear from people who get the impression that I share the gospel with daily and consistent zeal. Sadly, it’s not true. I might write about it and talk about it, but I have a long way to go. There are many days when I do not share the gospel at all. The Hope Initiative has been the discipline I need, but I still have much room to grow. 

In His power, I must do better. 

Lesson 2: Prayer and evangelism are a potent combination.  

Yeah. I get it. This second lesson might elicit a “duh” response from you. That would be fair. 

In the Great Commission passages of Scripture, we are reminded, “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20, NLT). Again, we are reminded in Acts 1:8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you.” It is so clear. Evangelism without God’s power through prayer is powerless. 

I have been amazed in each of these 30-day periods how the doors to evangelism have opened widely. It’s basic. God is answering my prayers. 

Lesson 3: Sometimes evangelism can take place in an Uber ride.

I use the rideshare Uber frequently in my travels. Before the driver picks me up, the app tells me how long we will have in the car together. Most of the time I have little time to waste. Can I really introduce myself, establish a relationship, and tell the driver about Jesus in 17 minutes? 

The answer is “yes,” because I watch it happen again and again.

It is amazing to see how God opens the door each time I open the Uber door. 

Today, there is a trend back to lifestyle and relationship evangelism. Actually that is a trend among those who do evangelism. Most Christians do not share their faith at all. So, I rejoice about those who are intentional about getting to know non-Christians and earning a right to be heard. I have a few such relationships right now. 

But there can be a danger in waiting too long to share the gospel explicitly. We can be so busy developing the relationship personally that we delay telling the unbeliever about Jesus explicitly.

This popular quote is often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi: “Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” But there is no evidence that he actually said it or wrote it. To the contrary, his writings and teachings emphasize the vital role of verbal proclamation in sharing the gospel. 

Develop relationships. Get to know unbelievers. Show Christ in your life and lifestyle. But don’t forget that the gospel message has words. Tell them about Jesus.

Then you will be ready on an airplane or in an Uber car. 

Such is the reason Acts 4:20 is one of my favorite verses: “We cannot stop telling about everything we have seen and heard” (NLT). 

Keep living for Christ. Keep showing Christ in your actions. 

But also never, never stop talking about Him.

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The Megachurch Movement Is Fading. What’s Next?

Once a church reaches two thousand in weekly attendance, its sheer size becomes a self-generating attraction. Massive facilities, a sprawling campus, and numerous attendees give these large congregations more prominence than other churches. Megachurches receive more media attention than smaller churches. Their physical campuses can dominate their surrounding community. Megachurch pastors tend to have charisma, and their churches can offer a wide variety of programs appealing to a broad base of people.

One can understand why a smaller church would feel threatened by the megachurch down the road. But this threat is more perception than reality.

The New Reality for Megachurches

The megachurch movement is beginning to wane. The number of megachurches increased exponentially in the 1980s and 1990s, but long about 2010 this exponential growth stalled. The megachurch movement reached an inflection point with about 1,600 megachurches in the United States. Over the next ten years, up to the pandemic of 2020, the number of megachurches dropped to about 1,200. New worship spaces were also significantly smaller—about 20 percent on average—during the same timeframe. The pandemic then caused many megachurches to drop below 2,000 in average weekly attendance. In 2022, Christianity Today reported that Willow Creek Community Church cut millions out of their personnel budget and laid off 30 percent of their staff due to a 57 percent decline in attendance. The church responded by saying that most megachurches are operating at 50 percent of their pre-Covid levels. If this anecdotal evidence holds true, the number of megachurches in the United States will be half of what it was before the pandemic.

Though it is difficult to estimate precisely how many megachurches remain in the United States, it’s safe to assume the large growth curves of the 1980s and 1990s are a thing of the past. The movement was essentially a product of the Baby Boomer generation. These churches grew large as the Baby Boomers came of age. The Boomers are now aging out, and the megachurches are fading along with them. Will megachurches disappear? I believe there will always be healthy megachurches across the nation. Still, the phenomenon of megachurch growth is no longer in ascendancy, and some other model must now take the lead.

In the not-so-distant past, growing churches often relocated away from their neighborhoods and built large campuses at major intersections. The thought was that the drive would be worth the distance. This strategy seemed to work when these large churches were master planning their sprawling campuses in the 1970s through the early 2000s. They were championed and celebrated. Many large churches grew at tremendous rates, and many of them did, and continue to do, an incredible amount of good for the Kingdom of God. But starting around the turn of the twenty-first century, the growth of many of the largest churches shifted to multisite campuses and multiple venues. The massive, single-site church was no longer the focus of their planning.

The stigma of small is fading. People want to connect locally and within their neighborhoods. Churches with worship space for 200 to 600 are now ideal. Filling the giant rooms of megachurches is getting harder and harder. Neighborhood churches have a large-scale opportunity in front of them. Your neighbors, however, will not flock to your church just because you are smaller. If megachurches in your area are declining, it doesn’t mean your church will benefit from their losses. Frankly, we should never place our hopes on the decline of another church. Because few churches are doing the work of evangelism, those that start are likely to experience fruit. God is saving people and will continue to save people. He will use the churches that are obedient, whatever their size.

The Growing Potential for Neighborhood Churches

Neighborhood churches are in every city and small town across the United States. Though it’s difficult to get an exact count, they are perhaps the largest single category of churches. Neighborhood churches are numerous, and it’s time to leverage those numbers into a movement of revitalization and renewed health.

But here’s the problem. The typical neighborhood church isn’t prepared for an influx of new people. They aren’t primed for growth. Though they are in their neighborhoods geographically, they are not fully present culturally or missiologically. Most American churches are small—with fewer than one hundred people. Most American churches have been in existence for decades. Though there are far more small and midsize churches than megachurches, the trend toward larger churches has been in place for many years. The largest one percent of Protestant churches, for example, comprise approximately fifteen percent of all the people, money, and staff. Small neighborhood churches are used to being small and do not often think about growth beyond their current size.

As the megachurch movement has begun to wane, it presents an opportunity for smaller and midsize established churches. The problem is that people won’t flock back into neighborhood churches from larger churches simply because it’s a shorter drive from home. Most churches—of all sizes—are smaller than they were a few years ago, due to the pandemic. The revitalization of neighborhood churches is not a foregone conclusion. It will take a lot of work, but I believe it can happen. Many neighborhood churches are right around the corner but off the radar. Your neighborhood church can regain the attention of the neighbors. The potential for this movement is enormous. I believe you can be a part of it.

This article is adapted from an excerpt in The Surprising Return of the Neighborhood Church: Discover How Your Church Is Primed to Reach Your Neighbors, published by Tyndale.

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A Word of Gratitude to Pastors who Share Life with Us

I’m writing today to pastors. We at Church Answers want you to know how grateful we are for you, how honored we are to serve you, and how committed we are to providing tools and resources for you. Your day-to-day, week-to-week faithfulness really is an encouragement to us. 

More particularly, though, I’m thinking about the role you play in the lives of your church members. I’ve thought about that role many times since I first pastored in 1981, and I’m continually amazed at one thing: the access you have to the lives of your members and the consequent opportunity you have to equip them through that access. Nobody else, in fact, has the kind of access to people like you do. 

Think about it. As a pastor, you sometimes have the privilege of being with members when babies are born into their families. You may be in the waiting room, or you may arrive soon after the baby is born—but many families will welcome your presence and your prayers as new life begins. They want to celebrate with you. 

On the other extreme, you are even more often invited into lives at times of death. You may well have been by the bedside of those dying, or you surely have been there to comfort families in their times of grief. You may not always have answers to their questions, and you cannot erase their pain—but your presence is itself comforting.

Moreover, you have the opportunity to journey with people you shepherd through every major spiritual experience they have between birth and death. You might counsel them through their decision to follow Christ. Perhaps you’re the one blessed to baptize them (or at least to be part of the experience if someone else does the baptism). They may turn to you if they sense some kind of calling to ministry. They might reach out to you when they’re wrestling with their faith. You are, after all, their under-shepherd. 

Indeed, you are a needed part of their support system in times of crisis. Life is hard, and all of us need someone to walk with us at times. So many things come to mind when I think of crises I’ve shared with church members, like unexpected death, marital separation, natural disaster, wayward children, job loss, miscarriage and stillborn birth, broken dating relationships, emotional stress, faith crises, financial messes, health scares, and a myriad of other issues. In the midst of the heartaches and confusion of life, you are one voice who directs hurting people to the Rock. 

Then, you might well be their go-to person whenever they face life decisions or celebrate life milestones. Having served as a pastor or interim pastor for many years, I can quickly list some of the times when folks have sought my input—things like college choices, career changes, engagement and marriage decisions, home purchases, and retirement options. Put on top of these things the celebrations I’ve been blessed to join—birthdays, graduations, significant anniversaries, sports championships, weddings, vocational recognitions, retirement parties, etc.—and I’m hard pressed to come up with anyone else who might share life with others like a pastor does. Ours is indeed a unique access.

To be a pastor is both an incredible privilege and a weighty responsibility. You influence more lives, and at a much more comprehensive level, than you may know. Thank you for all you do!

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The Two Greatest Gifts You Can Give Your Pastor

I am glad October has been designated as Pastor Appreciation Month. While we should appreciate our pastors year-round, it is good to have this reminder to say and do a few kind things for those who serve and lead our churches faithfully. 

My two pastors happen to be my sons, so I obviously have a vested interest in reminding church members to express appreciation to their pastors. But I have been a supporter of pastors long before Sam and Jess became pastors themselves. 

Though I don’t want to presume upon your own ideas for gifts for pastors, I do want to share two gifts that will make a significant and positive difference in your pastor’s ministry and life. 

Gift #1: Pray for Your Pastor  

This suggestion should be no surprise. There is power in prayer. Pastors need prayer. God answers prayers. 

May I suggest you take it a step further? Create a system where you are reminded to pray for your pastor daily. I use the Echo Prayer app for my daily prayer time. It is a simple reminder of how to pray and for whom to pray. Both of my pastors’ names are in my app.

Once you have established a process where you will pray for your pastors, please let them know. A simple email or handwritten note will suffice. You cannot imagine how encouraged your pastors will be to know that church members are praying for them daily. 

Gift #2: Enlist Others to Pray for Your Pastor  

In the last church where I served as a pastor, Frances Mason recruited over 100 church members to pray for me daily. I was blown away when she told me! 

Frankly, I cannot remember any greater encouragement coming from a church member. It was a demonstration of her love and respect for her pastor. I can say unequivocally that those prayers made a huge difference in my life and ministry. 

Are you in some type of group in your church: small group, Sunday school class, community group, home group, life group, etc.? Ask your group to pray for your pastor. Give them a plan or mechanism for doing so. Remember to pray for your pastor in your group whenever you meet. 

A Tool You Can Use

I recently authored a book that provides a guide for 30 days of praying for your pastor. It is my own prayer that the book, When the People Pray, will be used in thousands of churches to begin a prayer movement for pastors. 

I know that many of you readers are pastors. I am humbly asking you pastors to take it upon yourselves to get the church praying for you. I know it is difficult to ask for something when you are constantly doing for others. Frances Mason recruited over 100 church members to pray for me after I admitted in the pulpit how desperately I needed prayer. It was a humbling and vulnerable experience. But, again, it made all the difference in the world. 

Here is the book: When the People Pray.

Please, church members, pray for your pastor. 

Get others to pray for your pastor. 

It’s the two greatest gifts a pastor will receive.

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Launching a Transformative Bible Study for Women: A Step-by-Step Guide

The fall season brings with it not only colorful foliage and cozy cardigan weather but also the exciting opportunity for women to delve deeply into the Word of God. It’s a season of kick-starting various Bible studies, whether within church settings, homes, or workplace break rooms. If you’re considering leading your first women’s Bible study, you might be feeling a mixture of apprehension and eagerness. Rest assured, you’re not alone. This article aims to provide valuable insights and practical tips to help you initiate or rejuvenate a women’s Bible study group that will foster vibrant, life-changing discipleship experiences for women of all ages.

Step 1: Begin with Prayer.

Starting a women’s Bible study is an endeavor that calls for divine guidance and trust. As leaders, our primary offering to others is Jesus, and it’s essential to be receptive to God’s direction as we shepherd hearts and minds toward Christ. Begin by praying for wisdom and direction, asking God to anchor your identity in Him rather than what you accomplish. Seek His guidance and pray for the women who will choose to be a part of the study and pray that wisdom, humility, and the empowering presence of the Holy Spirit will infuse your time together with His purpose.

Step 2: Choose Your Study Material.

Selecting the right study material is crucial. You have various options to consider: books, Bible studies, live teaching, or video-based courses. The possibilities are limitless, but the most important factors are delving into Scripture and trusting God with the outcomes. If you’re just starting out, consider beginning with a video study to provide structure and guidance. As you gain experience and confidence, you can transition to live teaching and collaborative study.

Explore available Church Equip studies for women as valuable resources.

Step 3: Determine When and Where to Meet.

The timing and location of your meetings will vary depending on your group’s composition and goals. If your study is part of your Church’s weekly activities, coordinate with your pastor or church administrator to align schedules and secure a meeting place. If you’re meeting during lunch breaks at work, choose a convenient spot and establish a consistent meeting time. Recognize that accommodating everyone’s schedules may be challenging, so start with a committed few and if you invite others to join in, remain open to flexibility as you adapt to the needs and availability of your group.

Step 4: Establish Meeting Guidelines.

Creating a safe and intentional environment for learning and sharing is vital. Every Bible study I lead, I spend part of the first meeting going over guidelines so that everyone knows the goal and expectations of our time together. I usually print out a card that they can tuck in their bible or workbook with the following:

Small Group Distinctives: 

Give Jesus, not advice.Listen attentively.Refrain from trying to fix others’ problems.Maintain confidentiality within the group.Respect each person’s comfort level regarding sharing.Keep an eye on the time. 

This helps to communicate to everyone that there is a mutual respect and expectation for everyone participating.

Step 5: Be Intentional with Follow-up.

Building meaningful connections within your group extends beyond your meeting time. Send thoughtful texts or messages to individuals after they share personal struggles or weaknesses. This simple act demonstrates that your study is not just about acquiring knowledge but also about transformation and genuine care. Consistency and commitment are challenging but essential. Gradually, these reminders reinforce the idea that your presence matters, and you are dedicated to walking alongside one another. As you get to know the women in your group, discover the unique gifts and talents and explore opportunities to connect them with church or small groups to help them grow in their discipleship journey. 

Embarking on the journey to lead a women’s Bible study is both exciting and rewarding. Remember that God has called you to gather, walk alongside, and point women to Jesus. As you take this step of obedience, you are contributing to the growth of the Kingdom of God and the transformation of lives. With prayer, careful planning, and a heart eager to serve, you are more than capable of launching a Bible study that will inspire and impact the lives of women in your community. You can do this!

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Why Every Single Word in the Bible Matters for You Today

All of Scripture is for every part of our lives.

Every single word in the Bible is powerful, purposeful, and prescient. Understanding the Bible as a whole is worth your whole effort. Every word in the Bible matters because every minute of your day matters. In Luke’s gospel, we learn that God counts the hairs on our heads (Luke 12:7). God is always involved in every area of your life. Since He always knows every hair on your head, God must actively count each one.

The lesson is simple: God is always active, caring, and present in your life. The way He wants you to interact with Him is through the Bible.

The Bible is God’s story. And the first step in understanding the Bible as a whole is realizing the biblical story is not about you but rather for you. The first words in Genesis are, “In the beginning God,” not, “In the beginning you.” God is the protagonist of the Bible, not you.

God creates. God speaks. God saves. He is not just part of creation or a power in creation but the Sovereign over all creation. The story of the Bible is about God, but this story exists because God wants to redeem us. Paul wrote that God gave us the Bible for our “hope and encouragement” (Romans 15:4). The Bible is God’s roadmap to hope.

The Bible reveals God’s plan for redeeming his people. The story has ups and downs, unexpected plot twists, failures and successes. It’s not G-rated, and all the characters are flawed, with one exception—Jesus.

In the same way Jesus is alive, so too the Bible is alive. Grasping the power of the written word is one thing, but believing the written word is alive is entirely different. The Bible is God’s own words with the purpose of drawing people to Himself.

Because the Bible is from God, it is personal communication from Him. That means we can trust that it is true because it is God’s own words—authoritative, inspired, infallible, and sufficient.

The Bible Is Authoritative

You are not the authority over the Bible. Rather, the Bible is the authority over you. Do not read the Bible like you go through junk mail envelopes, looking for a deal and then tossing the rest aside without even opening them. Do not read the Bible like you read the newspaper’s opinion section, looking for an angle that supports a viewpoint you already have. Read the Bible like a love letter where you devour every word and feel each phrase. The Bible contains the greatest words of love ever written. Indeed, the Bible’s words define love. You don’t just search the Scripture. You must let the Scriptures search you.

The Bible Is Inspired and Infallible

When you read the Bible, you are hearing directly from God. The Bible is inspired by God, which means it is a direct word from Him. As such, the Bible is infallible, which means it will not lead you astray. You can trust the Bible. All truth is derived from God, which means the Bible is the gold standard of truth. It will not deceive us or prove unreliable. Indeed, God’s Word is wholly reliable—always and everywhere.

The Bible Is Sufficient

God’s Word is all you need to live in a way that honors Him. Nothing else is necessary to understand the good news of Jesus. No other books are required to know God and follow the Holy Spirit. What we have in the Bible is perfect, trustworthy, right, clear, pure, and true. No other written words can claim this sufficiency. The Bible alone is sufficient. You can trust the whole of Scripture, so now I hope you read the whole of Scripture.

If you don’t have it near you, then go get your favorite copy of the Bible. Prayerfully ask God to give you a passion for reading it. Don’t wait. Open your Bible now and read, even if for a few minutes. The words contained in your Bible are eternally more important than any other words ever written. 

Take a deeper dive into this subject with Sam’s book, Understanding the Bible as a Whole. Do you want more training? Church Answers University (CAU) is affordable, accessible, and attainable. The certification is self-paced, so you can learn in a way best suited for your life and goals. And the books are included with tuition!

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Pastoral Whiplash Syndrome: Five Causes

The metaphor has changed. For most of my ministry, we often referred to the up and down of pastoral ministry as a roller coaster. It made sense. One day the pastor will celebrate five new believers in Christ. The next day the pastor is met by a long-term church member who is leaving the church because she is not getting fed (I really loathe that excuse to leave.).

Today, the metaphor is whiplash, a sudden and dramatic jolt from very good to very bad or vice versa. In one hour, the pastor gets a nice email from someone who visited the church to a not-so-nice email from a man who is resigning his leadership position in the church. 

The roller coaster metaphor was apt when these changes happened from week to week, or on occasions, day to day. 

The whiplash metaphor best fits today, because pastors typically have their emotions jerked around a few times a day. 

What has happened? If we can understand this issue more deeply, we might be able to save some pastors from depression, resigning too quickly, or even suicide. 

At this point, we can identify some of the causes of the pastoral whiplash syndrome. But we need to do a much better job of helping pastors deal with this harsh reality. Here are five of most common reasons for the new reality of pastoral whiplash syndrome: 

1. Instantaneous communication. When I first started in pastoral ministry, the only way to get a hold of me was by letter or by landline phone. I didn’t even have voicemail at first. The only way I would know to answer the phone if I was at home and heard the phone ring. I believe some church members and other critics would think very hard before they wrote a letter or made a telephone call. Today, communication is instantaneous, and the methods of communication are too numerous to name. Many people contact pastors before they give it a second thought. Such is the reason pastors have encountered so much thoughtless communication. 

2. Public communication. There are a lot of cowards on keyboards these days. They will post something on social media because they have an audience. They think they have influence because they got three likes from people who did not read the post. It is shameful how many people post negative things about a pastor or a church without talking to the pastor first. For many church members, Matthew 18 has been ripped from the Bible.

3. Church members with a consumer mentality. I have observed this trend growing consistently over the years. More church members worship the unholy trinity of me, myself, and I instead of seeking the good of others in the church. They are more concerned about their personal preferences than being obedient to God’s commands to serve and to be last.

4. Unregenerate church members.  Our team at Church Answers has been conducting the same survey among church members since 1996. It is fairly comprehensive with 160 questions. Because we have done so many of these surveys over almost 30 years, it is one of the best longitudinal surveys on local congregations. It is both amazing and disheartening to follow the erosion of belief among active church members. Many of them deny the deity of Christ. Many of them cannot affirm that Jesus is the only way of salvation. They are not likely Christians, because they refuse to affirm who Jesus is. We call them “unregenerate church members,” which literally means they have not been born again. As the number of unregenerate church members increase, the more likely these non-Christians will not act like a Christian to the pastor. We also call these church members “cultural Christians.”

5. COVID. The pandemic accelerated and exacerbated all these trends. Pastors are confronted with the challenging reality that the problems have become as much as fivefold greater since the pandemic swept across the world. This change at warp speed was not limited to churches, but there is no doubt that churches felt it especially poignantly.

I recently spoke with a pastor who told me that he is having a difficult time emotionally dealing with the issues noted above. This particular pastor is questioning his calling. My prayer for pastors is that they will reaffirm their calling. My prayer is that God will intervene in a mighty way in their lives.

Roller coasters can be a challenge. But whiplash is unspeakably painful.

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It’s Time to Release Churches from the Myth of Infinite Expansion

Every church has limiting factors. No church grows exponentially every year. Infinite expansion isn’t possible. Even the largest churches stay at the top of the list for only about twenty years. Each generation has its own group of biggest congregations or fastest-growing congregations. Compare any lists of the largest churches from the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, or 2000s and you’ll find different churches leading the way. By virtue of their size, big churches are constantly shifting. Indeed, some of the largest churches from twenty and thirty years ago no longer exist today. They grew rapidly, declined just as quickly, and eventually disbanded.

No church should die, whether the congregation is large or small. God wants every church to be biblically faithful and grow both numerically and spiritually. The myth of exponential growth has its roots in the attention garnered by churches that grow rapidly over several years. Other pastors examine these growth models and try to emulate them. Truth be told, these churches often flourish because of demographic factors that don’t necessarily transfer to different locales. Maybe they’re in a fast-growth corridor of a large metropolitan area. What people tend not to examine quite as much is how many of these churches fade from the growth lists just as quickly as they arrived.

Rapid, exponential growth is impossible to sustain in the long term.

The distinction may seem nuanced, but there is a difference between the mentality of multiplying disciples and growing a large church. There will always be an attraction to rapidly growing institutions, organizations, and movements. I cannot fault people for gravitating toward something that’s growing. However, every case of exponential growth—whether in business, religion, or the academy—eventually reaches an inflection point, a pivotal moment when the organization must make fundamental changes in its operations if it wants to continue. Consider Sears, Roebuck and Co., once the largest retailer in the United States. Their exponential growth began to slow in the 1980s, reached an inflection point with the emergence of Walmart on the national stage, followed by a rapid decline until the company faced Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 2018.

It’s exciting when a church grows from twenty members to forty in one year; then from forty to eighty the following year, and from eighty to 160 the year after that. But, ongoing exponential growth is an unachievable goal for a local church. We should celebrate this growth but not expect it to continue to accelerate year after year. Churches tend to get into trouble when they construct campuses, build infrastructure, and hire personnel with the expectation of ongoing exponential growth.

You will need to be creative to reach your maximum capacity.

Let’s assume your church can overcome leadership lids and systems limitations. What is left are the physical constraints of the campus. Your parking lot can only hold so many vehicles. The square footage of your facility can hold only so many people. You can only put so many butts in the pews of the sanctuary.

There is a point at which the physical constraints of a church campus become a significant problem. For example, a church with a thousand-seat worship space and a parking lot that holds fifty cars will struggle because of the mismatch between its interior space and exterior footprint. Some urban churches have little to no parking, but mass transit enables people to get to the church with relative ease. Most churches, however, are not near mass transit stops.

How can you maximize your campus without feeling the burden of infinite expansion?

Churches will average 2 to 2.5 people per vehicle. If your parking lot is correctly sized, you will have twice as many seats in your building as spaces for vehicles in your lot. In other words, a worship space for three hundred requires about 150 parking spaces. If you can’t create enough parking, multiple services can solve the problem. Your worship space may never be full, but that only becomes an issue if you drop below 40 percent capacity.

For purposes of discussion, let’s assume a neighborhood church wants to grow to six hundred people on a Sunday morning, but they have only 150 parking spaces and a worship space with four hundred seats. This church can achieve its goal by expanding to three worship services.

8:00 a.m. Sunday worship: 150 people on campus occupying 75 parking spaces

9:30 a.m. Sunday worship: 200 people on campus occupying 100 parking spaces

11:00 a.m. Sunday worship: 250 people on campus occupying 125 parking spaces

Will some services feel a little light throughout the year in a worship space of four hundred seats? Yes, but that’s not a huge deterrent for guests. Will the parking lot get crowded some Sundays when turnover between services doesn’t happen quickly? Yes, but the energy of a full parking lot will outweigh the negative impact of not finding a spot immediately. Does this church need clear signage and a lot of guest, handicapped, and senior parking? Yes! But these issues are quickly resolved with some budget funds and sweat equity.

If the church is willing to give up on the idea that everyone must be together in the same service, or that the worship space must be completely full, then the parking lot issues—though challenging—can be overcome. If this church were to add a Sunday evening service and another service during the week, even with only 150 parking spaces, they could grow to one thousand in attendance. Remember, no church can grow exponentially every year, but established churches can grow much larger than many envision with some sacrifice and a little creativity.

I examine this myth and more in my latest book. The Surprising Return of the Neighborhood Church just released! If you lead or attend a neighborhood church or want to know more about this potential movement, you can pick up a copy now.

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8 Things I’d Love to Receive for Pastor Appreciation Month

Each year, I post on my personal site a list of possible ways to show your pastor gratitude during October (Pastor Appreciation month). Even with that list in mind, here are some things I would love to receive from members if I were pastoring again: 

Regular, intentional prayer. In our Church Answers’ Know Your Church report, our surveys over the years have indicated that many church members do not pray regularly for their pastors. We very much need and appreciate the prayers of God’s people, though.Sacrificial service. We call church members to serve God through the church, but it still remains the case that a few people do most of the work. Even one member who was to say to me, “Pastor, I’m stepping up to the plate to serve,” would make my day.Listening ears. Here, I’m thinking about the preaching event. I know it’s not always easy to pay attention (I struggle with it, too, when I’m listening), but it really is exciting when you sense from the pulpit that members are tuned in to the Word.Honest, helpful, face-to-face critique. My point with this request is simple: I don’t mind critique that helps me grow as a preacher and pastor; what I struggle with is critique that is uninformed, unkind, and sometimes unspoken (unspoken to me, that is, but not to others in the church). If you have concerns, give me the gift of speaking the truth in love.Global passion. The Great Commission of Matthew 28:18-20 demands that we make disciples of all the nations, yet 4 billion+ people still have little access to the gospel. Tell me (and show me) that the Lord has grabbed your heart for the nations, though, and I’ll rejoice. I want us to send our best to the nations.Humble patience. I’m not perfect—and neither is any other pastor I know. We all make mistakes, and we don’t always lead in the best way. To be honest, I still realize the need for more growth even at this stage of my ministry. Your ongoing patience, coupled with loving, godly critique when needed, is encouraging.Recorded testimonies. If you really want to bless me, record in 2-3 minutes the testimony of your conversion and send it to me. I don’t want to miss the stories of God’s work among the people He has placed in His local body.Evangelistic, outwardly-focused fervor. You may be aware of Church Answers’ The Hope Initiative —a simple strategy to turn a church outward a few people at a time. One of my joys is communicating with Hope Initiative pastors overwhelmed by the growing zeal of their members to reach their community. Our hearts leap when God’s people get the Great Commission vision.

Laypersons, which of these might you give to your pastor next month? Pastors, what would you add to this list?

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