Zoe E. Whitten's Blog, page 73

Arrested for having the same first name…and the same skin color

I'm just waking up after a rotten day lost to anger yesterday, and one of the first stories I read is this of how Atlanta cops took two months from an innocent woman's life because she was ALSO a black woman named Teresa. Here, read this part, as it's my favorite:

"All she has is the same first name. The only descriptions that match are 'Teresa' and 'black female,'" Culpepper's attorney, Ashleigh Merchant told The Lookout. Culpepper, who is 47, didn't have the same address, birth date, height, or weight as the Teresa who was supposed to be arrested.

So not only are Atlanta's cops racist, but completely incompetent. I could ALMOST see this being a legitimate mix up if the woman shared the same last and first name. But all the cops had was "black Teresa." They did nothing to find out if they had the right person, nothing resembling police investigation. They dragged off the wrong person, who called them to report another crime. Way to go, Johnny Law.

You can't even pretend this isn't a case of blatant racism. Cops wouldn't grab another white Teresa based only on the first name, no matter what the crime was. But if the person is brown, they lose the benefit of the doubt for sharing their first name with criminals. That it happened in Atlanta is not surprising. That it happens with so little attention or notice, even with the locals, is troubling. It's like as soon as America elected a black president, racism was back on the table as a viable alternative to thinking critically again. How else do we explain these decisions to round up POC without anything resembling basic police work?

If the police are supposed to enforce the laws, then they ought to try following them sometimes. It's so much harder to see a cop's side of this when almost all the stories out about cops these days are usually highlighting what the control freaks are doing to lord their power over civilians. This isn't protecting and serving the public, it's harassing and imprisoning innocent people just so the cops can maintain a quota. And it's got to stop.

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Privilege in action

I'm so angry right now, because fantasy author Jim C. Hines wrote this open letter to the Boy Scouts of America. I guess Jim thinks he's showing how he's trying to do the right thing, but what he does is reveal how privileged he is, and how he compartmentalizes the damage done by the BSA to let his kid join the group. Jim admits it's a hate group. He knows they exclude others and make them feel bad.

BUT, his kid wants to join, so now it's okay. He could make the right choice and tell his kid no. He could teach his kid about peer-pressure, and why not all groups are cool. But instead, in addressing me, Jim claims there is no right choice, and this is all just so morally difficult for him to sort out. And in the comments, he's got plenty of kudos from other privileged parents whose kids also won't be discriminated against. And because they're okay, the BSA is okay.

I don't know Jim or his kid. I don't know what kind of parent Jim is. But in one blog post, Jim has me wishing I could stage an intervention and pull his kid out of the scouts. It is NOT allright for your kids to join a hate group just because they think it's fun. It is NOT acceptable to pay a hate group and then to offer to pay a gay group "for balance." It is VERY insulting to all the victims of the BSA's exclusive policies.

But Jim has privilege, and here he's exercising it. Yes, he knows what the BSA stands for. Yes, he knows as a parent, he should tell his kids why the BSA is evil. But he won't, because keeping his child ignorant is easier. Letting his kid play in a hate group is easier than educating him. That's privilege, the choice to ignore the harm your decisions cause. Then Jim compounds insult to injury with the offer of a bribe.

I don't know Jim. I shouldn't be this upset. But tonight, I'm schizzing because a writer decided to show off his privilege in an open letter that he must have thought was saying a good thing. Instead, it's possibly the most cowardly thing I've read in a while.

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Update on The Life and Death of a Sex Doll

This morning I received an email from Belfire. My editor, Tracy DeVore, was made aware of my offer to pay her, and she has given me the edits, free. I am now able to afford discussion on the cover art, and so I have sent a tentative offer asking for numbers from Jodi. Unless she puts a pinky to her mouth and asks for one hundred million dollars, I feel this could lead to a resolution relatively soon.

I hear tell that sometimes writers pass through here to watch this slow motion train wreck that is my life, so to those writers passing through, let me say that name again: Tracy DeVore. If you need an editor, go hire her. I was saying that BEFORE this act of generosity, but now I really feel like I owe her a favor after she's done this for me. This also tells me that, whoever else I pissed off and started this mess with, it wasn't her. I never felt like there was drama between us anyway, and the only drama that ever came up was me getting huffy about defending my quirky opening line.

And, I want to stress this again, in case anyone should wonder, "But Zoe, what did you REALLY think about submitting with Belfire?" I tell you, I've worked for them long before we published this novel, which is why I submitted the book to them. I'd also sent them A Bard's Tale, and that was rejected. And despite that rejection, I sent them more stuff. I was happily submitting a horror serial to them for their online zine, and when they paid me, I was deferring some of it back to them to buy ad space in the same zine. On my home page, instead of having the default "Your Ad Here," when no one else wanted the space, I had a sliding banner ad for Belfire/Needfire. That's how much I liked these people. I was a happy company cog. Or, I thought I was.

I have no idea who I pissed off because my publisher obviously won't be tacky and name names. And, I don't expect her to either. I don't care who I pissed off, but if it's soured things so badly at the office that no one wants to work with me, hey, I can take one for the team.

But the submission process was average length because every submission had to go through all three editors and win at least two of three. Most of my entries, my rejection aside, I was told were unanimous yes votes. Their contracts were easy to read and made their needs pretty clear without trying to capture additional rights they didn't need. Once I was accepted, the process moved along at a pace that felt okay to me, given what I've read from other writers about other publishers. There were a few delays, but as I'm a writer who ALWAYS uses the "It's ready when it's ready" release schedule, I was more concerned with getting a pretty final product over making a target date.

And, the book IS pretty. It looks good inside and out. I finally got my overseas order in, and the printed books are also very pretty. The interior layout is very nice, and all around, Belfire did nothing wrong in making my book. What's happened here is, outside politics ruined an in-house relationship. Nothing more, nothing less. I could choose to be bitter and nitpick about little shit, but go back up to the top. Tracy gave me her edits, gratis. She is but one of the many good people who work at Belfire. So please, do not take my ousting as a reason not to check them out. I asked to leave, and I really do hope this will lead to improving relations for them elsewhere.

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So, I got cut from the team…

For a few months, you're not going to be able to buy The Life & Death of a Sex Doll, because the publisher is pulling the title. I'm sure the company will issue their own statements on this, but in essence, Belfire sent me an email making it clear that I was a liability and a problem, and I sent back a reply that while wordy, worked out to, "by all means, cut me from the team."

My publisher has sent back an email expressing her frustrations at my message, making it clear that they will be pulling the title and returning my rights to me. They want to negotiate for the cover and the layout. I have no need for either, BUT I do want to pay my editor. I've said so plainly in my reply to the publisher, without loads of cuss words, and I hope that by me avoiding a crazy rant and only going with a crazy ramble, she will concede to my requests and let me pay the editor. Then I would hopefully get the rights back on Tracy's edits, which I feel make both stories better. If I seem to be sour now about this relationship, I want to stress, it is a recent development. Before this, I was VERY happy with the book that Belfire was delivering. I liked the cover, and I enjoyed working with Tracy as an editor. If I somehow lose my mind and submit another title to another publisher, I kind of hope Tracy will be the editor. I know that's unlikely, but so is me submitting another book. So if we're dealing strictly in hypotheticals…and I'm wandering.

This negotiation thing could happen fast or take a while. Depending on how much the publisher asks for in editing fees, it could take me a while to come up with the funds. I cannot put out a copy of the books until Tracy has been paid, though. Obviously, the new ebook will not have the spiffy cover from Belfire. But I don't believe I can afford Tracy's fees and Jodi's for the artwork as well. Someone has to get cut there, and if I have to choose between the editor and the cover artist, I can only hope that Jodi sees that my choice to go with paying the editor is really the best choice here.

I know, you probably expect a lot of "Damn them, it's not fair." I mean, crazy writer gets cut, you expect a bitch fest. But go up to the top paragraph…yep, that was me admitting I'd said "cut me from the team." If I'm as much of a liability as my publisher claims, then I do not wish to burden them any further. If my being with Belfire is really somehow pulling down the success of other authors, then I say let me go. It's not unfair. It's the most fair thing you can do for the good of the team, right? Right. So, off I go.

Like I said, this souring relationship is a very recent development, and I was all the way around a happy Belfire writer. I am NOT going to be that writer who slams my publishers for every little thing after the fact, because I truly, honestly did not care about those things. I WAS a happy cog for just a few months, and that's how I'm going to think of my company, even if my publisher has made it clear that no one else on the team was happy to have me there.

I will continue to RT links to some of the authors from Belfire who I support, and I hope that after all of this mess is sorted out and Tracy is paid that Jodi and I can still manage to talk to each other as friends.

Mostly, I want to apologize to y'all for having to take down the work, and for being unable to present it to you in as nice a way as Belfire had with their cover. There are downsides to being crazy and speaking out without concern for consequences. Well, there are still consequences that arise from said behavior, and yes, peoples, I can own my shit. So, here you go, the reason why Belfire has cut me from the team. I bear them no ill will, and I truly hope that by cutting me, they get more investors and more editors come back.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to start drinking early today with a big splash of rum in my tea.

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Sunday ramble in slo-mo

This weekend finds me in poor shape despite being in good shape, relatively speaking. All my work getting my body back together still had absolutely no effect on the severity or duration of my relapses. I so totally knew this already, so it's not coming as a shock to me. But a part of me is still going "aw poop" because I really hoped that I could just prove to myself that this isn't really MS, and I've got some other problem. You know, aside from having a diagnosis and having it reconfirmed three times.

But no, even having better muscle tone, when the weather shifts, my immune system attacks me. And this year, the attacks are worse than I've ever had before. Last week I had a relapse so bad that even rolling on my side started attacks of panting and shaking because it was too much work.

And yet, I kept my shit together. My garden was watered, and I didn't just lay down all day and let my illness win. I got a new book published, put out the season finale of my serial, and moved it to a more fitting home. By healthy people standards, that's pretty good. By sick person standards, it's damn near walking on a pond. Sadly, there do not appear to be that many witnesses near the pond to confirm said miracle. Eh.

But so, this weekend, I ain't doing nothin'. I mean, aside from this blog post, and I'm not exactly hauling ass to finish it on time. Seriously, between paragraphs one and two, I wandered off to play Glitch, and then between three and four, I took lunch. I'm going to have tea before I even get around to a point. Which reminds me, I should probably come up with one before I get to the end of this ramble.

Last night, we watched Pirates: On Stranger Tides. Okay, first, let me say what I loved about it so you don't think I'm just being mean. I loved Ian McShane as Blackbeard, and I loved all the cast right down to Scrum. I loved the mermaids, and the three-way race to the fountain story was great. I thought the way Barbossa was portrayed this time shows why he's always able to end up sailing away with someone else's ship, and I loved Sparrow's turn as the hero finding his conscience over a woman, of all things.

But that thing with Blackbeard's sword and his ship? What-fucking-ever. That and the plot device of the bottled ships was total bullshit that had me rolling my eyes. And the movie totally did not need that much over-the-topednessosity. And I use that long made up word because it's a desperate bid to go over-the-top with something more over-the-top than over-the-top. Much like the movie did. But everything else about it was great, and that's why I'm giving it four stars and a hearty yo-ho!

I'm also using the chance to read more of The Drowning City by Amanda Downum. Yes, I'm a slow reader, and it sometimes takes me a while to find a faster reading pace. In any case, I'm about a quarter through this book, and the ride so far has been interesting. I think some of the spells the main characters cast come a little too easily and with too little cost, but on other spells it's clearly more taxing on her. But setting that aside, the world-building and attention to detail is great. It's a tricky balancing act being descriptive without getting purple, and I think this book walks that fine line rather well. I'll be looking forward to seeing where the writer takes this first book. I know the second is out, The Bone Palace, and Kingdoms of Dust is supposed to be out soonish. If those are as good as what I've read so far, this could be a fun series.

Hmmm… the end of the post, and I still don't have a…oh wait, right. People are not wearing enough hats.

A new review for Confessions of a Zombie Lover

This review of Confessions of a Zombie Lover was posted at vvb3 Reads with a score of 4, (I think out of five or six, but I can't recall now. Brain fried still.) and reader Velvet commented:

I was most intrigued with the science part this tale and the concept of making zombies "smarter".

I want to thank Velvet of vvb32 Reads, who was kind enough to read and review both books in the series. Confessions of a Zombie Lover is book 2 in the Zombie Era series, and the first book, Zombie Punter, has been reviewed favorably there, a well as on other sites 99% percent of the time. (There's this one guy on Amazon who really, really didn't like it.) I'm not writing the same old zombie apocalypse in this, and as the series progresses to follow Susan's POV, readers will discover how some zombies have found ways to mature themselves without human assistance, as has been the case in the first two books. I promise to mix things up so the last two books won't read like repeats of the first two.

Since I'm mentioning titles that could use your attention, Sandy Morrison & the Pack of Pussies is a great book to check out if you're reading and enjoying All Maid Up, although Sandy's book is a li'l bit more tame on the romantic elements. Sandy Morrison is another trans main character, but where Ginger Berkley lives in a magic-free world, Sandy is a witch who learns her best friend's family are all werecats, and that werecats and witches are at war. There's still cheerleaders and jocks in Sandy's world, but there's also weredogs, warlocks, vampires, and fairy godmothers. This updated file also has a lovely cover by Karen Koehler. So if you've been enjoying Ginger's story, maybe you'll take a look at Sandy's story too?

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All Maid Up 19

Yay, despite me nursing a sore wrist I was able to crank out this season finale for you, where things continue to fall apart. Ginger loses her job, her sense of security at school, and possibly her chances with Kevin as well.

So, here is episode nineteen of All Maid Up.

I am going to take a few more days break before I do the next post. Weather shifts are munching my body, and all this fast typing is taking a toll on my wrists again. Also, I apologize for all the random typos, but part of this experiment is, you're seeing one of my rough drafts with very few edits done. Even though I go back and reread episodes to make edits the same day, lots of stuff still slips past me. And for that, I'm sorry. But sometimes the first pass at art isn't always pretty, and there's bound to be a few ugly typos or awkward sentences here and there. Before I put out an ebook, you can be sure I'll run this through another revision.

And for those of y'all reading it, thanks.

Occupy this and that…

I've been so busy and flustered with health issues and personal stuff that I haven't had time to talk about some of the protests developing in the US. I have to say, it pisses me off to see the NYPD doing things like macing a non-violent deaf woman or chaining a trans protestor to a toilet for 8 hours, starving them while everyone else was given food. That sort of stuff still boils my blood, but it does my heart good to see people showing up from all over the country, young and old, from every walk of life. And they're all standing up for their rights and saying "no more."

This is what I've been poking and prodding at people to do, and at long last, some of y'all are seeing that there is no choice. You're standing up and getting outside to do something, for yourself, and for others. Fantastic. Brilliant really.

And I really hate to do or say anything that might bring this down, but I feel I need to point out that protests alone won't change much. These Occupy movements are great recruiting efforts, but one has to ask when y'all plan to organize and talk about what comes after the protests.

Yes, we're all agreed that the key issue is that government corruption is now so bad that politicians only listen to corporate interests and religious lobbies. Yes, it would be great if some jobs could come out of this. But these two things are radically different goals, requiring two entrely different plans of attack after the protests. And as of yet, I don't recall seeing anyone talk about what comes after.

I appreciate living for the moment, really, but with problems these large, there's a lot to be said for pre-planning. With the jobs issue, you're talking about negotiating for work from many of the same people you just held protests against. That is, unless you plan to embrace some neo-entrepnuer leanings and start opening small businesses and hiring people yourself. For the problem of how to deal with corruption, you have to push through laws stripping away the covers that hide corproate political donations. Millions of dollars quietly pass hands in the capital, and every attempt to propose transparency is bribed right out of existence long before the bill goes to the floor for consideration.

Both of these are problems which the Occupy movement is protesting, but I have not yet seen any of the organizers talking about how to resolve these problems. I realize some of you may say I'm putting the cart before the horse, but all I'm really saying is, "This is a good start, but what comes after?" And the truth is, I don't think anyone knows. No one is even sure if this is going to work, and I don't think anyone has any idea of how to define success either.

It is a good start, peoples, and I'm proud of y'all for standing up for yourselves. But while you're out there protesting, a good question that should be on your minds every minute is, "What do we do if this works?"

More changes?

EDIT: you know I'm brain fried from fatigue when it takes me half an hour to realize that the reason I need to edit this blog is to reflect that this is the unfiltered version. (y_y) But, to be fair, I have been extremely busy in the last few months, which has this week resulted in massive amounts of fatigue comas and time lost on the couch. Anywho, let's get on with this…

I know, I change my mind more often than a politician, but this might be one of my better ideas. Might, anyway. As most of you know, I run two version of this blog. One is this free site hosted with WP, while the other account is hosted through my site provider, GoDaddy. The theme is custom and was made to look like my old site. So for this reason, I tend to think of it as my real blog and this site as my mirror. (Behold, the power of editing! For it brings clarity of meaning!)

Thing is, I've found myself wishing there was a bigger difference between the two blogs. Some folks like that I'm not afraid to rant about troubling topics, but it turns off other people. On my more pissy days, I want to say "Well fuck them." But this is not one of my more pissy months. In fact, I've had a long sit down and a tea, and I've come to think that perhaps the two blogs SHOULD be a little different from each other.

So what I'm proposing is that the other blog will become the "pro-blog", with pro meaning positive "pros", not an abbreviation for professional. There, I'll try to talk mostly about book or game reviews, or I'll just ramble about stuff if I don't think it's going to scare people off. This blog will be the unfiltered stream. So if there's something really bugging me that I can't let go, I'll deal with it here and spare the readers of the other site. This is also fair warning that you may want to change your default bookmark.

This decision came after my choice to move All Maid Up to a home of its own. I was making that move as a consideration for people who only wanted the one story and not all the other posts. I started thinking that maybe the blog readers should also have that option, being able to choose a filtered or an unfiltered stream.

I know what you're going to say: "But Zoe, you hate all readers." Not true. I only hate YOU. Kidding! I'm kidding, come back! No, but seriously, even though I'm an amateur writer, I still want to make it easier for new folks showing up to get a feel for my writing in a way that feels accessible to them. Some people don't need the filter, but a lot of others do. And even though I often come across as abrasive and divisive, this does not mean I am inflexible. I'm kinda like a snake, I guess. (>_>)

So, just letting you know, if things feel a bit too crazy here, then you may want to head to http://zoewhitten.com/wordpress/ for the filtered feed. I don't expect there to be a HUGE difference between the two, so you won't have to follow both blogs. But this is just one more attempt to set up these two blogs in ways that are actually useful for y'all. Like my choice to have one dark color theme and one light, it's meant to give you the choice to use what's more comfortable for you.

Yeah, I know. You thought I didn't care. But the fact is, I rant so much because I care too much, even about random strangers who I don't know. But I need to separate some of my stronger emotions from one blog and store it here instead of spreading it all around. Besides, there's no need to be repetitive.

That said, I do not plan to do any more retroactive pruning on the other site. Of course, I might later change my mind. I change my mind like other people change their clothes. But for now, I prefer to acknowledge my past abrasiveness and leave it out there in the open. Truly, I have nothing to hide from y'all. I've given you every facet and side of me. And now, I'm offering some of you the choice to use a filter. Cause having options rocks.

Steve Jobs…

I'm writing this only an hour after it was confirmed that Steve Jobs is dead at 56. Being a nerd, it is all but impossible for me not to know this man. His work has touched my life in so many ways, both for his computers and for his help in developing PIXAR.

He's dead at 56, which may seem unfair to some, but in that short life, he's influenced billions with his commitment to his vision in the face of almost non-stop criticism. If you're an underdog and ever needed a hero to look up to, Jobs isn't a bad choice.

I can't say I liked everything Jobs did, but I don't think I could say that about anyone. But I know he's often inspired me with his commitment to push his ideas even when others we're saying "We just don't see it working, Steve." He had faith in himself and his vision, and even though I despise the cult that grew up around his ideas, I have a lot of respect for Steve and his perseverance.

So I wanted to take this moment to pay my respects to a man who has inspired me alternately to gush and rant throughout the years. Rest in peace, Steve. You were truly a giant among us little people.