Jordan Castillo Price's Blog, page 9
June 18, 2019
Spellcraft Was Serious Business
[image error]Have you checked out The ABCs of Spellcraft #3, Something Stinks at the Spa? Here’s a little taste!
YURI:
Spellcraft was serious business. Dixon had been trained by his loving family. My mentor in St. Petersburg was nowhere near as gentle.
The old hag once showed me how the volshebstvo could go wrong by Crafting me a charm for luck, on which she dumped a glass of water before the ink was fully dry. A few days later, a boxing match I’d bet on won by a long-shot, leaving me with more money than I’d seen in ages. I thought she was trying to demonstrate the persistence of the volshebstvo…until I was beaten senseless on the way home, probably by the bookmaker’s own sons.
So much for luck.
I gave back the Crafting without a word, though with the split lip and bruises, I hadn’t needed to say a thing.
Never again did I allow that bitter old woman to Craft for me.
Perhaps I should have. It had never occurred to me that I would someday deal with Spellcraft gone so bafflingly wrong.
Find Something Stinks at the Spa at your favorite online bookseller!
June 2, 2019
Smell the Spellcraft June 6
Available for preorder on Amazon now – at all the usual retailers June 6!
Mineral spas are so calm and relaxing…unless they smell like a derrière at a bean-lover’s convention, that is!
Dixon and Yuri have a hot tip that Uncle Fonzo is taking the waters at Spring Falls Hot Spring Spa. Not only is the spring stinky enough to make your eyes water—but the foul odor reaches peak level just as the resort is gearing up for a visit from an important critic that will make or break its reputation.
Normally, this wouldn’t be Dixon’s problem…except it appears that a piece of his uncle’s Spellcraft might be responsible. He can’t be entirely sure, though, since that particular slip of paper managed to go through the shredder.
Dixon and Yuri pitch in to help the spa’s owner appease a jilted bride, an obnoxious businessman, and the world’s most boring critic while they scramble to reconstruct the shredded Spellcraft. Can they fix the wonky spell before it does any permanent damage? Or will all their efforts at saving the spa end up swirling down the drain?
The ABCs of Spellcraft is a series filled with bad jokes and good magic, where MM Romance meets Paranormal Cozy. A perky hero, a brooding love interest, and delightfully twisty-turny stories that never end up quite where you’d expect. The books are best read in order, so be sure to start at the beginning with Quill Me Now.
May 2, 2019
More Spellcraft!
Another Dixon and Yuri adventure is rolling out just in time for Cinco de Mayo!
February 3, 2019
D’oh
[image error]Rolling my eyes at myself. I left a crucial sentence out of Quill Me Now – part of the resolution. According to Amazon, I can’t push a new version to anyone’s Kindle unless the ebook formatting is too borked to read. “I added an important couple of sentences” doesn’t qualify.
When I make a change to my stories, I record the version number on the copyright page, which you can access via the ebook’s table of contents. It’s labeled “Book Info.”
Version 1.0 is missing the line, version 1.1 is corrected. If you have version 1.1, you need do nothing.
If you have 1.0 and you’d like 1.1, you’ll have to ask Amazon’s customer service for the new version. If you delete it and redownload it without touching base with customer service first, you’ll just keep getting 1.0. What a pain! Sorry about that! The easiest way to get hold of them is through their chatbot.
January 18, 2019
Collect them all!
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Collect an enchanting set of 99¢ books for your Valentine’s delight 
October 31, 2018
Flash fiction: Fire and Earth
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“You’ve got the perfect hands for clay, Tony.” David dragged his wet fingertips along my knuckles in a slippery caress. He always knew the right thing to say, and still he managed to come up with some real stunners. I had a worker’s hands, tough and callused, with soil permanently ground in the knuckles and nail beds. Sure, I wear gloves. But one thing you learn running a landscaping business: dirt happens. David shared a similar philosophy. For all his pretty-boy charm, he had one rugged set of hands on him too, strong, singed, and hardened by years of shaping his creepy clay figures.
“Maybe I don’t need to worry about ruining my manicure,” I said, “but that doesn’t mean I’m any good. This is a heck of a lot harder than it looks.”
“Give it time. Get a feel for it. And make multiples—my kiln is a fickle bitch.”
I was just beginning to understand the appeal of such an explosively temperamental firing process. David liked drama in his life. While firing in his repurposed antique wood stove might burn down the studio or shatter his favorite piece, it was a hell of a lot safer than dating a junkie.
My objectives weren’t anywhere near as thrilling. It was basically a gag gift I was making, a spoon rest shaped like a big ceramic spoon. Grandpa Tito used to keep one on his stove. I could see it vividly in my mind’s eye, stout and rustic, seventies brown to match the rest of the kitchen, permanently crusted with tomato. Heck, I could practically feel it whistling past my head as my brother Sal tried to nail me with it. I could even recall with perfect clarity the satisfying crack it made when he missed and broke it in half against the edge of the table.
Sal’s birthday was coming, the thirtieth anniversary of the spoon rest incident, also known as “The day Sal got the belt for his birthday.” For ages I’d been keeping my eye out for a good spoon rest, but the only ones they make nowadays are plastic.
Finally, after several tries, I came up with something that would at least approximate the original piece enough for my brothers and me to have a good laugh over it. Especially once it was glazed brown. Then David cocked his head and said, “They sell those down at the adult bookstore in latex or silicone, y’know. Probably way less abrasive.”
“It’s not a—”
“I’m teasing. The first few months, everything I made—pencil holders, mugs, ash trays, whatever—came out looking like a bong. I’d say you’re ahead of the curve.”
Ceramics don’t happen overnight. I thought I’d allotted plenty of time, but between the drying and the bisque firing and the glazing, I’d cut things pretty close. The morning of Sal’s party, I watched the vented stove cool while the wares inside pinged with the change of temperature. Each crackle and pop, I decided, must surely be the death knell of a clumsy spoon rest.
As soon as the kiln was cool enough to fully open, David reached in with a blackened oven mitt and pulled out one of his figures. Even filmed over with ash, it was expressive in a weird, misshapen way. “Take heart,” he said as he peered in. “Nothing exploded. Now let’s see what the glaze has been up to.”
Painting and glazing are two entirely different beasts. Raku glaze isn’t like paint, he’s explained to me, it’s more like heat-activated alchemy. Since everything turns some shade of brown in that old stove, I figured glazing would be the least of my worries.
At least until I saw what color my best spoon rest turned out. “I sure didn’t see that coming,” David said. He stared at the ridiculous thing a long moment, then added, “I could’ve sworn it would get a little oxygen on that shelf. Some ash must’ve blocked the vent.”
Hell, if it didn’t look phallic before…. I sighed.
He set my masterpiece on a cooling rack, sidled up against me, slipped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips to my ear. “Look on the bright side,” he murmured. “In wood firing, it’s quite a feat to achieve such a delicate shade of pink.”
David, Tony, and even Tony’s brother Sal appear in the novella Sympathy.
October 28, 2018
Candy is Dandy – Halloween Scare Trail
[image error]It’s Halloween, time for so many good things. Horror movies. Scary stories. Cool random gothy items in the Dollar store. But it just wouldn’t be Halloween without the candy.
Which got me thinking about which sorts of candy the guys in PsyCop are into…
[image error]Victor Bayne
Vic likes chocolate, but is also leery of ending up with suspicious brown smears all over his shirt. Luckily, there’s a candy that solves that exact problem: M&Ms! (Melts in your mouth, not on your hands!)
“And no weird flavors, either. Plain chocolate. Or peanut, if that’s all you’ve got.”
M&Ms may not melt on your hands, but they do tend to roll away. Vic has found stray M&Ms in his coat pocket, under his car’s floor mat, and behind a phone book from 2002. He asserts each color has a slightly different taste, if only from the varying amounts of food dye in the shells.
Jacob Marks
[image error]Jacob has the willpower to stay away from chocolate, but he has a hard time passing up anything cinnamon. Big Red gum, cinnamon Altoids, and especially Hot Tamales.
“Cinnamon kisses are memorable. But definitely watch where you put your mouth otherwise. There’s such a thing as too much sensitivity.”
[image error]Crash
Crash is a fan of anything sour, though he prefers his tartness with alcohol, particularly margaritas, vodka sours, or limoncello collinses.
“But for sheer kitsch value, you’ve gotta love Sour Patch Kids. And there’s no gelatin in them, either…so even the vegans out there can indulge.”
[image error]And as for Me…
I’m on a “gums of the world” kick. So far, in addition to my native US gum, I’ve had gum from the Netherlands and England…and thanks to fellow author Chris Owen, I’ve got a nice stash of Canadian gum too. Stimorol was like chewing a cough drop…ew. Thanks, Britain. Good ol’ Trident is still my favorite.
What About You?
I’d love to hear what your favorite candy is! Tell me about it in a comment for a chance to win a prize pack including delightful swag and a JCP ebook or audiobook of your choice, and visit these other fine authors for a chance at more Halloween goodies.
RJ Scott – $20 Amazon Gift Card
www.rjscott.co.uk
Angel Martinez – $25 Pride Publishing Gift Certificate
https://angelmartinezauthor.weebly.com/from-angels-cave
V.L. Locey – $10 Redbubble Gift Card
http://thoughtsfromayodelinggoatherder.blogspot.com/
J.L. Merrow – Ebook of both newly re-released werewolf novels Camwolf & Midnight In Berlin.
https://jlmerrow.com/
Rick R. Reed – Ebook of A Demon Inside from DSP Publications
http://rickrreedreality.blogspot.com/
K.A. Merikan – Paperback
https://www.facebook.com/KAMerikan/
Charlie Richards – $20 Amazon Gift Card
http://www.charlie-richards.com/
Amber Kell – $20 Amazon Gift Card
www.amberkell.com
Eli Easton – $20 Amazon Gift Card and second prize of ebook copies of Gothika #1-4
www.elieaston.com
Charlie Cochet – 3 x $10 Amazon Gift Cards
charliecochet.com/blog
Meredith Russell – $10 Amazon Gift Card
http://meredithrussell.co.uk/
Alex Jane – $10 Amazon Gift Card and Ebook from back catalogue.
www.alexjane.info
Stormy Glenn – $20 Amazon Gift Card and backlist ebook.
http://stormyglenn.blogspot.com
Annabelle Jacobs – $10 Amazon Gift Card and backlist ebook
annabellejacobs.com
October 27, 2018
Spice Victory
[image error]This past summer, I randomly purchased a seasoned salt, not knowing it would totally rock my world. All summer long, Lawry’s Fire Roasted Chile & Garlic made plain chicken breast actually palatable. And since it was my new favorite seasoning, as it got lower, I kept my eye out to buy some more. I couldn’t recall which store I’d bought it from, but since I shop at three stores, I always figured “must’ve been one of the other ones.”
Until finally I had to admit, I just wasn’t seeing it anymore. Fine. That’s what Amazon is for.
Except it was out of stock there too. And everywhere else. And then I went to the McCormac site and discovered it had been DISCONTINUED.
Swear to god…it’s like TV shows where my favorite character always dies.
Anyhow, I realized the ingredients were listed on the label, and I had all of them (except the vague two at the end), so I had nothing to lose by trying to make it myself. Here were the ingredients:
Salt, Sugar, Smoked Paprika, Chipotle Chili Pepper, Garlic, Red Pepper,Parsley, Extractives of Paprika, and Natural Flavor.
I figured I’d start at the top and halve the subsequent ingredients (except the chipotle which seemed like it was high in the flavor profile and the parsley which is so bland), then taste test side by side with the Lawry’s.
[image error]4 t salt
2 t sugar
1 t smoked paprika
1 t chipotle
1/2 t garlic powder
dash cayenne
1/2 t dried parsley
I ground it up in a mortar and pestle and tasted them side by side. I was really close, but the Lawry’s seemed to have more oomph. So I added:
1/2 t hungarian paprika
dash granulated citric acid
Success! Not quite exact but really damn close. And what a relief. Now, if I could only bring Wash back on Firefly.
October 9, 2018
Zero Hour – The Time Has Come
In a world where life is disposable, two men fight to escape oppression and find the truth…together.
Zero Hour second edition release today in ebook and paperback! The story is the same as the first edition (if you were following me way back when in 2011) but the text got a new edit and the book got a fresh new cover.
Find the ebook at your favorite online store
Find the paperback on Amazon
September 17, 2018
My September newsletter is here! Find a story about my fa...
[image error]My September newsletter is here! Find a story about my favorite dishes, plus preorder info for GRL and some other important links. Check it out
