Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 91

August 4, 2013

When the going gets tough, it's time for gratitude

At least for me. It's been a rough week, with much to sort out and figure and configure, and trying to write and failing and working to fail better and maybe even succeed, which may not look like what I envision in my wildest dreams, but may come in the babiest of baby steps. Part of me wishes for a job far afield from the word business to appear out of the blue and save me, rescue me from the hell of all this business where you give up control in pretty much every way and face nonstop rejection along with the bright spots, and part of me knows that this is a test, and my task is to devote myself 100%, which I have never ever done, because I've let the fear win, always, always.

It's a harrowing way to live and moving did not erase, well, the core of me. Too bad, perhaps, but maybe that's the lesson: wherever you go, there you fucking are and you learn to deal or wither away. Some days I choose the latter, a slow death by inertia, of watching life pass by, of not trying because you don't see the point. I got such a deep, sure sign that this way of living is not working the other night. It came fast and furious and rocked my world, and certainly upended my sad plodding along by reminding me that I need to step up or give up. My eyes are no longer bloodshot but my heart and soul are still recovering. So at a time when I lack words, and am looking for them high and low, inside and outside, drilling deep and trying to stay as open as my tattoo says I am, it's time to point you to ones I wish you'd read instead, ones that have helped buoy me, reminded me that the worst day, the blankest page, the darkest of doubts are perhaps there to show me rock bottom and remind me that there's something better waiting, on the next day, the next page, the next...and also the now. I hope there's cheerful news to share soon, though I may lay low for the next few weeks as I try to make words happen.

So here's a few bright spots of late

Xan West on writing "Baxter's Boy"

Annabel Joseph on having a story in my January 2014 anthology Best Bondage Erotica 2014 (table of contents coming soon), whose cover I can now share:

bbe2014cover

Justine Musk putting a name to something I'm extremely guilty of: miswanting

Danielle LaPorte's Truthbombs, which are a wonderful daily inbox pick-me-up
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Published on August 04, 2013 15:33

August 1, 2013

The first Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica review is in!

Happy Anal Pleasure Month! Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica just officially went on sale on Amazon (ebook links coming soon!) and I'm thrilled to share a snippet of its first official review at the blog Books are love:
Holy sweet baby monkeys this was amazing. Each story in this anthology are unique in their own way. Tenille Brown’s dealt with a woman who was adament about this type of play until Lewis came along and changed her mind.

In Rectified by Tiffany reisz we see the confident and sometimes arrogant Brad Wolfe show a woman what pleasure really means. Go Lela enjoy the lovely Wolfe for all he is... Ms. Bussel’s story to end the book I have to say really brought it full circle. That was a cute couple. One afraid of toy stores the other of the intimacy she gives her husband that he wishes to give her. The end though that is one beautiful night of passion and love.

babygotbackhirescover

If you're not ready to dive into a full anthology of anal erotica, try my 6-story collection Between the Cheeks: Anal Erotica.

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Published on August 01, 2013 10:45

Hoarding is now officially part of my writing beats

I've officially added hoarding‬ to my beats with "Hoarding Isn't Fashionable or Glamorous" at The Toast and hope to cover it more often (alongside sex, dating, books, pop culture, though I'm open to writing about anything and everything, especially travel and events). I wrote this in response to the infamous Interview magazine hoarding fashion spread (read my piece for the link).
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Published on August 01, 2013 10:22

How editing anthologies makes me a better erotica writer

I’m deep in anthology editing mode. It’s the first thing I do when I wake up, as I drink my coffee. It helps settle me into my day, eases me into the workflow. For some reason, which I haven’t yet deduced, this latest round of anthologies I’ve been editing much more heavily than I previously have. I don’t know if I’m seeing things I should have seen before, if I’m selecting stories that I believe need more work (for this is all completely subjective, save for misspelled words and such) or that I am just more ruthless.

I do know that by seeing aspects of stories I think can be improved, whether with a word added or deleted, a rephrasing, a clincher of an ending, it’s making me see my own writing in a new way. It’s showing me where the extra words are in my stories, for there are always some. It’s forcing me to truly synthesize what I think makes a good erotic story. I have always pretty much flown by the seat of my pants, and sometimes given up when the story got hard. But I’ve also learned what I like—the unique twist on a topic, even one I’ve covered umpteen times, the way my brain starts to envision the story, and what makes it erotic or perverse or romantic.

I rarely switch points of view, but I did it in my story “A Slap in the Face” (in Sinclair Sexsmith's anthology Say Please: Lesbian BDSM Erotica ), which exemplifies something I feel strongly about in BDSM erotica, which I’m putting into play as I edit—that when you are dealing with topics many people might misconstrue, which in our culture covers everything from anal sex to BDSM to roleplaying, you need to make it very clear why it gets people off. You can’t just say “he hit me and it felt like a kiss”—even if it did. It may very well have felt like a kiss, or a painful but beautiful, life-changing erotic moment, for a character, but I want as broad a readership as possible, and I want people who have no idea what the fuck is erotic about, say, face slapping, to walk away from that story feeling moved by it, understanding what both those characters got out of the exchange.

Sometimes I hope to do with the new stories I’m writing is revisit some older stories and expand on what happens to the characters, even though my great thrill, my writing high, comes from creating new plots, new people to explore. This editing thing can be harrowing when you are trying to find 69 stories that fit a specific theme; just because they are 1,200 words or less doesn’t make it easier. It’s still 3 times the work of a typical anthology. Part of me is eager to do it again and part of me is telling myself “never again.”

But I’m grateful for this intense bout of editing because it’s sharpened my focus as I work on my own solo short story collection. It’s guided me to be more precise, shown me that I, in all my imperfect subjectivity, get to be the queen of my own books, get to have a viewpoint. It’s not that I don’t want authors to fully explore their own voices—I do, and when I did the Google+ Hangout last weekend, it gave me a renewed devotion to editing anthologies because it provides a publishing opportunity for writers that they might not have had otherwise, at least, not this specific one. I forget that sometimes, when the work feels too overwhelming and I just want to get to my 69 stories or 65,000 words and file it and move on. But I love the communal nature of an anthology, I love that the whole is always greater than the individual sum of its parts, I love that it can take a topic that seems straightforward and twist and turn it inside out, exploring so many ways of approaching it. I look forward to an editing break, but I also look forward to posting new calls, and learning about the process of editing an anthology with monkey mind, as if it’s my first, not my, I think, sixty-first.
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Published on August 01, 2013 10:19

July 25, 2013

Writing, and retreating

Lately I've been dreaming about a writer's retreat, though I don't even know where I'd go and can't afford it at the moment. But in my head, 4 or 5 days in some beautiful oasis somewhere sounds heavenly. Much as I now have the perfect writing home, sometimes it's not where I want to write--or rather, my life is not the one I want. I don't know whose, exactly, I would want, but there's this restlessness that I don't know what to do with. The conundrum is that the more I retreat from what really matters, my words, the worse off I am. I know that deep deep down, that the only way to both afford anything beyond the basics of rent and food and to fulfill whatever crazy impulse led me to being a writer rather than a lawyer is to not retreat from my deepest fears, insecurities, and flaws, but rather to put those front and center, blare them in the most well lit words and sentences I can concoct. I see glimpses of that depth, that rawness, sometimes, on good days, or good hours, when I can let go of my to do lists of busy work, stop doing the math on word counts, and say something human and real and scary.

I wonder if I've lost that ability to actually turn all the awkwardness inside me into something worthwhile. I read a memoir recently that I hope to get to cover, and it got right in there, into the heart with all its yearnings, the gaps between who we are inside and who we look like on the outside. I know that too often I kill my wisps of writerly dreams by speaking them out loud, letting someone else suddenly control the story. Sometimes those embryonic ideas are so filmy, wispy, airy and invisible that they disappear when you let them out too soon. Most of the time, I don't even dare think them. I let the fear win, because I am so desperately afraid of failure.

Today I wished for the first time in a long time for a "real" job, one with a boss and coworkers and tasks and insurance and a paycheck. Out of all the things I hate about freelancing, which are small compared to what I love about it, being my own boss is the worst. I despite being anyone's boss, but I'm a bratty employee to myself, which is, of course, irrational, but my worst bratty self is hardly rational. I hit a wall where I couldn't see that, in fact, I'd written three quarters of the essay, that the other quarter was waiting for me to go somewhere more than just the surface of the topic. All I saw was that one invisible, empty quarter, and I retreated. I let that blank space tell me what my day was, what my worth was. I'm starting to figure out that freelancing isn't about any one day or piece or story or book, but the sum of them all, and the daily pushing of myself to Go There, rather than retreat when it gets hard. Sometimes that means sitting with that pitch that you've agonized about for months and spending two hours even though it's not your area of expertise, to a dream magazine that arrives every month in your mailbox. Sometimes it's pretty much praying that that last damn story to finish that stupid book shows up, somehow, somewhere, cause you're sick of it and sure that no one will want to read it anyway. And sometimes it's the opposite, that sublime moment when something crosses your path that's the perfect phrase or prop or example, or you overhear a phrase and steal it for a story title, the plot bubbling up in seconds to frame those pretty words you can already envision in a table of contents.

I still want to go to a writing retreat--somewhere the air is filled with people like me, except they don't just dream big, but live big, write big--like I still wish I could go to Edinburgh, but I also know that in this process of figuring out who I am as a person and a writer, the most important place I have to be is in a chair, in front of a blank page, filling it up not with the same old thing, but something new, something daring, something that will very likely horrify someone, somewhere, with its realness. Today was one of those test days, making sure I still believe, that I see the end of the rainbow, and that if I don't, I regroup, reconfigure, give up what's not working and find something new to replace it. 2013 seems to keep throwing me curves, flipping anything that seems secure, taunting me to not just pretend I want to write, but to actually do it, or let it go. Though I've picked a profession where defeat and rejection are built into the marrow of it, I realized today that I don't truly want to retreat from writing, that, if anything, somewhere deep down I like those challenges. That's a hard truth to face, but I'll be back tomorrow, pitching probably far above my station, hopefully a little more ready to push forward, rather than retreat.
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Published on July 25, 2013 19:03

New date for Milwaukee Erotica 101 workshop: September 27th at The Tool Shed

I moved my Milwaukee Erotica 101 workshop at The Tool Shed (2427 N. Murray Ave.) to Friday, September 27th so taht I can be part of a special event in New Jersey, which I will have more detials about soon. You can sign up for this workshop on the Tool Shed website and if you're so inclined you can spread the word and RSVP on Facebook and FetLife. My last trip to Milwaukee was last February and there was a snowstorm so I'm hoping the weather is a bit nicer to me this time around! I've been editing and writing lots of erotica and realizing once again what makes a good erotica story, and am looking forward to hearing what students cook up! I love teaching workshops in sex toy stores because there's so much inspiration right at our fingertips.

Erotica 101 workshop official description:
Professional erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You'll learn how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. She'll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Whether you're writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. Paper and writing implements will be provided or you can use your own laptop.
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Published on July 25, 2013 18:12

July 24, 2013

6 hot anal sex stories in my ebook Between the Cheeks

My just-published 6-story ebook Between the Cheeks: Anal Erotica is the perfect book to hold you over until the release of Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica (shipping to stores now!), or as an introduction to the topic! It's for sale for Kindle or Nook. And yes, careful readers may have read some of these before, but they're all here in one hot ass ebook.

Between the Cheeks final cover

Here's the table of contents:

Pink Satin Purse • Donna George Storey

As Long As You Don't Wake Me • Neil Gavriel

Apple Blossoms • Emerald

A Different Kind of Reality Show • D. L. King

Playing the Market • Angela Caperton

Worth It • Alison Tyler

And my introduction:

Anal Exploration

In popular culture, anal sex is often thought of as strictly a female receptive act—receptive to a penis, that is. Truth is, there's a wide range of anal pleasure to be had for people of all genders. In Between the Cheeks, that range is explored, savored, enjoyed. Each element of preparation, from fantasy and anticipation to tension, humiliation, curiosity and sheer delight, is drawn out, while all kinds of touch get their due.

Our desire for anal sex is often paired with mixed emotions—want plus fear, eagerness plus uncertainty. Good erotica plays up—and with—those fears, exaggerating them, exposing them, incorporating them into the story, since they are a part of life. In Neil Gavriel's "As Long As You Don't Wake Me," the male protagonist submits to his mistress, Jen, and even though he is eager to please her, aroused by the scenario, there is a part of him that is still a bit unsure:
“Just relax, you know you want it up there,” she said. And I did, in a way that was a little scary and raw to me. Of course, the reality was that I could do nothing to stop it, tied up and exposed as I was. That scared the hell out of me and excited me in equal measure.
After two women give him a threesome he wasn't quite expecting in Emerald's "Apple Blossoms," Brad is awed by what he's learned from these lovers—about their sexuality, and his own. "He stood in front of us, an unquestionable humility reflected in his eyes, his chest moving perceptibly as he finished catching his breath."

As you read on, you'll find strap-on play (pegging), rimming (analingus), anal intercourse and more, though certainly there are plenty of other anal delights a person can enjoy. Each story details not only the physical responses of the characters, but the mental ones, highlighting the mixed emotions that can make anal play, from either end (pun intended), so exciting. Here's Donna George Storey in "Pink Satin Purse," as Natalie discovers the intoxicating power she holds over her Keenan as he awaits her touch—and tongue:
Her hands wandered over his backside freely, stroking his thick, strong thighs, raking slippery fingers over his tensed buttocks, hard as iron. But when her finger somehow found its way into his valley, she faltered, caught off guard by the tender, silky flesh. Even more surprising was her husband’s deep sigh of response. Her chest tightened. As if she’d crawled into his skin, she felt the electric shudder of being touched in this forbidden place, a witch’s brew of shame and pleasure.
I hope these stories excite, arouse and encourage you to explore anal eroticism—talking and fantasizing about it, as well as engaging in it, with whatever body parts and sex toys (and plenty of lube!) you desire.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
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Published on July 24, 2013 11:37

6 hot anal sex stories in my ebook Between the Cheeks - get a free copy to review!

My just-published 6-story ebook Between the Cheeks: Anal Erotica is the perfect book to hold you over until the release of Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica (shipping to stores now!), or as an introduction to the topic! To celebrate its release, I'll send 6 of you free copies of either the Kindle or Nook version, as long as you're willing to post a review on Amazon.com within 4 weeks. Email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "Between" in the subject line and tell me if you want the Kindle or Nook version and what email address to send it to (I can't send Kindle books to @kindle.com addresses so give me your other address associated with the account). The first 6 to request it will get this ebook in their inbox! And yes, careful readers may have read some of these before, but they're all here in one hot ass ebook.

Between the Cheeks final cover

Here's the table of contents:

Pink Satin Purse • Donna George Storey

As Long As You Don't Wake Me • Neil Gavriel

Apple Blossoms • Emerald

A Different Kind of Reality Show • D. L. King

Playing the Market • Angela Caperton

Worth It • Alison Tyler
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Published on July 24, 2013 11:37

July 21, 2013

3 upcoming events: online, Milwaukee and NYC

A quick heads up about 3 upcoming events, one online, one in Milwaukee, and one in Manhattan.

July 27, 7 pm EST - Google Hangout with readings by Serving Him and Twice the Pleasure contributors. Join us online for a chat and sexy stories!

September 13, 8 pm - Erotica 101 workshop at The Tool Shed, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, $20
Professional erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You'll learn how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. She'll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Whether you're writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. Paper and writing implements will be provided or you can use your own laptop.
September 25, NYC - Vica Miller Literary Salons, Erotica theme, with Liesl Schillinger, Kim Triedman, Nicole Audrey Spector . Sign up for their mailing list for details (Michael Cunningham is reading November 14th).
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Published on July 21, 2013 08:15

Happy editor weekend: my new book Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica has arrived!

I got a gift yesterday of my copies of Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica , a few days earlier than expected! I get mine straight from the printer, and send them out to my awesome Amazon.com reviewers before they're even in stores. For this one, I have 3 copies left, so if you want a copy and will review it within 6 weeks of receipt, are in the U.S. and have an Amazon.com account, email me at analantho at gmail.com with "Amazon" in the subject line and your name and address in the body. I'll hit the post office tomorrow! More excerpts coming soon. It's my first anal sex erotica anthology and I'm thrilled with its variety. If you like it, I'd love it if you rated it on Goodreads too. Thank you so much for such a great response to this book already. I love the cover and the cleverness and hoteness the authors brought to anal play. If this one does well, I definitely plan to pitch another anal erotica book! (I'll update this post when these 3 are spoken for.)

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Published on July 21, 2013 08:03