Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 90
August 19, 2013
Meet My Sexy Muse tonight at 7-9 pm EST
I'm excited for my first Meet My Sexy Muse tonight, where we hosts star the story and you continue it! I"ll be posting a contest where you can win a copy of
Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica
, plus there'll be contests from the other hosts. See you there!
August 14, 2013
I'm judging Bustle.com by its content, shockingly enough
I picked a bad week to be on a social media break, between #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen on Twitter and now the internet issue of the day around the new website Bustle. What's interesting is that while almost every piece I've read has reacted to Bustle founder Bryan Goldberg's post on PandoDaily, I haven't seen many commenting on the actual site itself. I'm not saying his post doesn't have problems, but for me, I've been genuinely enjoying the site. They were where I first read read about the UK Twitter harassment issues. I've been reading for the past two weeks and am a fan, especially of their books coverage (and of that, I really like their book suggestions for the week's headline smakers), which is why I pitched them last week and am working on my first story for them. So, focusing on that and making it the best it can be, along with generally hustling my freelance ass off.
Flash ebook sale: $1.99 gets you 2 ebooks Tasting Her and Women in Lust
My fabulous publisher Cleis Press lowered the price on my Kindle ebooks
Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories
and
Women in Lust
to $1.99, and I'm going to give you an extra bonus, today through Friday, August 16th at 11:59 pm EST. Buy one of these ebooks, I'll send you the other free. Forward your Amazon.com receipt to me by Saturday morning, August 17th at 9 a.m. EST at rachelkb at gmail.com with "BOGO" in the subject line, and tell me where to send the ebook (I can't send to an @kindle.com address). Thank you! If you want to make me think you're extra awesome, I'd love it if you'd leave a review if you like the book (Amazon reportedly treats books with 30 or more reviews better, so I'm trying to get on their good side!).
Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories
Introduction: Reading Her Lips
Cavanaugh’s Ridge Jeremy Edwards
Snatch Donna George Storey
Teaching Teresa Gwen Masters
Queen of Sheba Jen Cross
Suspension Craig J. Sorensen
Kiss the Cook Giselle Renarde
Happy Hours Adelaide Clark
Spill Alison Tyler
Rain Check Emerald
Treatment for a Tongue Job Thomas S. Roche
The Goth Chick Lisette Ashton
The Vitality of Youth Joanna Christine
Cunnilingus 101 Rachel Kramer Bussel
Read Her Lips Stan Kent
Down There Julia Moore
To the Point Rita Winchester
Hold On, I’m Coming Kristina Wright
Dropping the Hint Drew James Dyer
Pause Sommer Marsden
All about the Girls Shanna Germain
The Dominance of the Tongue Teresa Noelle Roberts
Introduction: Reading Her Lips
Whether you’ve delved between a woman’s legs, received cunnilingus, or fantasized about either, Tasting Her has a lot to offer you. To be honest, I’m usually not the biggest fan, personally, of getting head. Often it feels either rushed or perfunctory, or like I’m not sure how long I should give the person until we move on to something else. I don’t always know when or how I will come, though plenty of women swear by a little tongue-lashing (or a lot!) to do the trick.
What’s great about this collection is that there are oral sex connoisseurs and newcomers, men and women, who explore the treasure to be found in a woman’s pussy, often in surprising ways. Maybe they think they know everything there is to know about giving (and getting) head, but have a partner who wants to show them something new.
We sometimes forget, given stories about men who refuse to go there (and yes, I’ve encountered a few), that there are plenty of men and women who truly enjoy, relish, and get turned on by basking in a woman’s sex. The kind who find eating pussy not just a pit stop on the way to something greater, but the ultimate pleasure. Sometimes this can take the form of a BDSM scene, where someone is being “forced” to do what he really loves best. At other times, these happy lickers have to convince their partners that they want it so bad they’ll do anything to get it.
In Jen Cross’ outstanding story, “Queen of Sheba,” we meet one such couple:
Jimmy would use his hands to hold me open, and his whole mouth, his nose and chin and cheeks. He’d fuck me with his tongue, then lap at me with the full flat of it, wriggle the tip across my clit, then capture the fat little head between his thin lips and suckle first gently, then more sharply, as I came. And came. And came.
He got me off so many times when he was down there, like that was the whole point. Can you imagine?
Her narrator learns that some men treat a woman’s pussy like it’s the pinnacle of her body, even when the woman herself may be a little puzzled as to what he loves about it so much.
I’ve been in the position of Gwen Masters’ Teresa in “Teaching Teresa,” refusing to let someone go down on me simply because I didn’t think it would be all that fun. The last person I tried that with, though, used my refusal as a pawn in our sexual game, and when I let him advance, he showed me just how wonderful a well-placed tongue could feel. I think he wanted to show me what I’d been missing. In Masters’ story, our hero has to articulate what it is he enjoys about the act:
“I love everything about it,” he told her. “I love the smell--that deep and secret scent. I love the taste. I love the way it changes when a woman comes, and the way it changes again after I’ve been inside her. It’s like I can taste all the different levels of arousal.”
Teresa was looking up at him with wide eyes.
“Most of all, I love the way a woman moves. I love the way the same touches can get a different reaction every time. But I also love finding that one thing that drives a woman crazy every time.”
Other lessons are imparted throughout this collection, and I can tell you that by the end of the editing process, I was more than ready to spread my legs. Whatever your feelings about going down, I hope this book will broaden your horizons, and expose you to the ways cunnilingus can become part of a relationship, a quickie fling, a BDSM scene, and so much more. The characters here, from the dedication of the man who gives geographical names to specific parts of his lover’s sexual anatomy in Jeremy Edwards’ “Cavanuagh’s Ridge” to the kinky pleasures of the couple in Teresa Noelle Roberts’ “The Dominance of the Tongue,” have a thing or two to teach you about pussy power. Savor them and their adventures, as well as your own.
Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City
Women in Lust: Erotic Stories
Introduction: Ladies Who Lust
Naughty Thoughts Portia Da Costa
Guess Charlotte Stein
Her, Him, and Them Aimee Pearl
Bayou Clancy Nacht
Smoke Elizabeth Coldwell
Bite Me Lucy Hughes
Ride a Cowboy Del Carmen
Queen of Sheba Jen Cross
Hot for Teacher Rachel Kramer Bussel
Unbidden Brandy Fox
Something to Ruin Amelia Thornton
Guitar Hero Kin Fallon
Ode to a Masturbator Aimee Herman
Orchid Jacqueline Applebee
Cherry Blossom Kayar Silkenvoice
Rain Olivia Archer
The Hard Way Justine Elyot
Strapped K D Grace
Beneath My Skin Shanna Germain
Comfort Food Donna George Storey
Ladies Who Lust
Lust. It’s one of those four-letter words that trips off the tongue. When I say it out loud, it makes my lips want to curve into a smile. Lust is more than simple arousal; it is the force that makes us not just turned on, but craving a certain person (or people).
I used to write a sex column called “Lusty Lady,” named after the famed strip club, but somehow lusty, rhyming as it does with busty, sounds a bit like a joke, an added bit of humor, which is how our culture often treats sex. Lust, though, is different; it’s intense, overpowering. While in real life we may not always act every time lust calls to us, in fiction, we can abandon the safety of propriety and seek out lust and sex wherever we find them.
The characters in Women in Lust may vary in the objects of their lust, and how they go about acting on their urge, but what connects them is that pure impulse for a lover. Sometimes he is someone she knows well, is married to or dating; in other stories, he is a stranger, and is sexy precisely because he represents the unknown. Women also lust after other women here, as in Kayar Silkenvoice’s Japanese happy ending massage story, “Cherry Blossom,” and while we only hear one side of the story, I’d like to think the working woman is doing more than just her job. In addition to the culture clash, there’s the joy of throwing caution to the wind while on vacation, using travel to broaden one’s sexual horizons. Whether watching a lover playing guitar, using a webcam, going out for a smoke or simply embracing a chance encounter, these women seize the opportunities presented to them, and savor the lovers who teach them about themselves and help them open up to new sensual possibilities. Sometimes that means looking at the man they live with in a new light, and other times that means something much naughtier. Either way, their lust is a valued part of their lives, not a pesky afterthought or to-do list item on “date night.”
The objects of their lust are not always the “right” person. In “Rain,” a woman falls for her best friend’s boyfriend, one of the ultimate dating taboos, but she goes for it. Sometimes the desire itself, the way it can be used to tease and taunt, as in Charlotte Stein’s “Guess,” is maddening, but we embrace our lusts even when they are maddening, even when they make us do things we might otherwise consider reckless.
For every woman here who can locate her lust on the map of her body, who zeros in on her target and goes for it, there is another who is opened up to her lust by a lover, whether it’s Jen Cross’s narrator pondering what it was, exactly, her orally generous long-ago lover got out of being between her legs. The first words of Shanna Germain’s powerfully kinky “Beneath My Skin” are “I’m afraid,” to which her lover, Kade, responds, “You should be.” Fear can be a powerful motivator and, crossed with lust, can lead to explosive results.
Whether discovering the joy of a younger man, not to mention some delicious pudding, in “Comfort Food,” by Donna George Storey, or taking sex and bondage into the great outdoors in “Something to Ruin” by Amelia Thornton, these women indulge in new ways of getting off and pushing the limits of their lust. Thornton writes: “Despite my longing, there was still part of me that wanted to protest, to tell him to cut me loose, to run wildly through the forest back to the safety of our picnic blanket, but to me that is the beauty of rope: to desire escape but to willingly be imprisoned, to feel the pressure of something that prevents my movement, yet to know there is no place that I feel safer than when trapped like this.” She captures the excitement of giving in to a dominant lover, even when there is a small part of the narrator that is unsure, for that is precisely the part that fuels her desire. This story captures the true power that lies in submission and the many joys it can bring. In “Her, Him and Them,” by Aimee Pearl, the narrator submits to various lovers who question her and push her not only to be the best sub she can be, but to figure out why, exactly, she likes the thrill of submission and service.
I hope these stories inspire some lusty days and nights for you, as they have for me.
Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City
Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories
Introduction: Reading Her Lips
Cavanaugh’s Ridge Jeremy Edwards
Snatch Donna George Storey
Teaching Teresa Gwen Masters
Queen of Sheba Jen Cross
Suspension Craig J. Sorensen
Kiss the Cook Giselle Renarde
Happy Hours Adelaide Clark
Spill Alison Tyler
Rain Check Emerald
Treatment for a Tongue Job Thomas S. Roche
The Goth Chick Lisette Ashton
The Vitality of Youth Joanna Christine
Cunnilingus 101 Rachel Kramer Bussel
Read Her Lips Stan Kent
Down There Julia Moore
To the Point Rita Winchester
Hold On, I’m Coming Kristina Wright
Dropping the Hint Drew James Dyer
Pause Sommer Marsden
All about the Girls Shanna Germain
The Dominance of the Tongue Teresa Noelle Roberts
Introduction: Reading Her Lips
Whether you’ve delved between a woman’s legs, received cunnilingus, or fantasized about either, Tasting Her has a lot to offer you. To be honest, I’m usually not the biggest fan, personally, of getting head. Often it feels either rushed or perfunctory, or like I’m not sure how long I should give the person until we move on to something else. I don’t always know when or how I will come, though plenty of women swear by a little tongue-lashing (or a lot!) to do the trick.
What’s great about this collection is that there are oral sex connoisseurs and newcomers, men and women, who explore the treasure to be found in a woman’s pussy, often in surprising ways. Maybe they think they know everything there is to know about giving (and getting) head, but have a partner who wants to show them something new.
We sometimes forget, given stories about men who refuse to go there (and yes, I’ve encountered a few), that there are plenty of men and women who truly enjoy, relish, and get turned on by basking in a woman’s sex. The kind who find eating pussy not just a pit stop on the way to something greater, but the ultimate pleasure. Sometimes this can take the form of a BDSM scene, where someone is being “forced” to do what he really loves best. At other times, these happy lickers have to convince their partners that they want it so bad they’ll do anything to get it.
In Jen Cross’ outstanding story, “Queen of Sheba,” we meet one such couple:
Jimmy would use his hands to hold me open, and his whole mouth, his nose and chin and cheeks. He’d fuck me with his tongue, then lap at me with the full flat of it, wriggle the tip across my clit, then capture the fat little head between his thin lips and suckle first gently, then more sharply, as I came. And came. And came.
He got me off so many times when he was down there, like that was the whole point. Can you imagine?
Her narrator learns that some men treat a woman’s pussy like it’s the pinnacle of her body, even when the woman herself may be a little puzzled as to what he loves about it so much.
I’ve been in the position of Gwen Masters’ Teresa in “Teaching Teresa,” refusing to let someone go down on me simply because I didn’t think it would be all that fun. The last person I tried that with, though, used my refusal as a pawn in our sexual game, and when I let him advance, he showed me just how wonderful a well-placed tongue could feel. I think he wanted to show me what I’d been missing. In Masters’ story, our hero has to articulate what it is he enjoys about the act:
“I love everything about it,” he told her. “I love the smell--that deep and secret scent. I love the taste. I love the way it changes when a woman comes, and the way it changes again after I’ve been inside her. It’s like I can taste all the different levels of arousal.”
Teresa was looking up at him with wide eyes.
“Most of all, I love the way a woman moves. I love the way the same touches can get a different reaction every time. But I also love finding that one thing that drives a woman crazy every time.”
Other lessons are imparted throughout this collection, and I can tell you that by the end of the editing process, I was more than ready to spread my legs. Whatever your feelings about going down, I hope this book will broaden your horizons, and expose you to the ways cunnilingus can become part of a relationship, a quickie fling, a BDSM scene, and so much more. The characters here, from the dedication of the man who gives geographical names to specific parts of his lover’s sexual anatomy in Jeremy Edwards’ “Cavanuagh’s Ridge” to the kinky pleasures of the couple in Teresa Noelle Roberts’ “The Dominance of the Tongue,” have a thing or two to teach you about pussy power. Savor them and their adventures, as well as your own.
Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City
Women in Lust: Erotic Stories
Introduction: Ladies Who Lust
Naughty Thoughts Portia Da Costa
Guess Charlotte Stein
Her, Him, and Them Aimee Pearl
Bayou Clancy Nacht
Smoke Elizabeth Coldwell
Bite Me Lucy Hughes
Ride a Cowboy Del Carmen
Queen of Sheba Jen Cross
Hot for Teacher Rachel Kramer Bussel
Unbidden Brandy Fox
Something to Ruin Amelia Thornton
Guitar Hero Kin Fallon
Ode to a Masturbator Aimee Herman
Orchid Jacqueline Applebee
Cherry Blossom Kayar Silkenvoice
Rain Olivia Archer
The Hard Way Justine Elyot
Strapped K D Grace
Beneath My Skin Shanna Germain
Comfort Food Donna George Storey
Ladies Who Lust
Lust. It’s one of those four-letter words that trips off the tongue. When I say it out loud, it makes my lips want to curve into a smile. Lust is more than simple arousal; it is the force that makes us not just turned on, but craving a certain person (or people).
I used to write a sex column called “Lusty Lady,” named after the famed strip club, but somehow lusty, rhyming as it does with busty, sounds a bit like a joke, an added bit of humor, which is how our culture often treats sex. Lust, though, is different; it’s intense, overpowering. While in real life we may not always act every time lust calls to us, in fiction, we can abandon the safety of propriety and seek out lust and sex wherever we find them.
The characters in Women in Lust may vary in the objects of their lust, and how they go about acting on their urge, but what connects them is that pure impulse for a lover. Sometimes he is someone she knows well, is married to or dating; in other stories, he is a stranger, and is sexy precisely because he represents the unknown. Women also lust after other women here, as in Kayar Silkenvoice’s Japanese happy ending massage story, “Cherry Blossom,” and while we only hear one side of the story, I’d like to think the working woman is doing more than just her job. In addition to the culture clash, there’s the joy of throwing caution to the wind while on vacation, using travel to broaden one’s sexual horizons. Whether watching a lover playing guitar, using a webcam, going out for a smoke or simply embracing a chance encounter, these women seize the opportunities presented to them, and savor the lovers who teach them about themselves and help them open up to new sensual possibilities. Sometimes that means looking at the man they live with in a new light, and other times that means something much naughtier. Either way, their lust is a valued part of their lives, not a pesky afterthought or to-do list item on “date night.”
The objects of their lust are not always the “right” person. In “Rain,” a woman falls for her best friend’s boyfriend, one of the ultimate dating taboos, but she goes for it. Sometimes the desire itself, the way it can be used to tease and taunt, as in Charlotte Stein’s “Guess,” is maddening, but we embrace our lusts even when they are maddening, even when they make us do things we might otherwise consider reckless.
For every woman here who can locate her lust on the map of her body, who zeros in on her target and goes for it, there is another who is opened up to her lust by a lover, whether it’s Jen Cross’s narrator pondering what it was, exactly, her orally generous long-ago lover got out of being between her legs. The first words of Shanna Germain’s powerfully kinky “Beneath My Skin” are “I’m afraid,” to which her lover, Kade, responds, “You should be.” Fear can be a powerful motivator and, crossed with lust, can lead to explosive results.
Whether discovering the joy of a younger man, not to mention some delicious pudding, in “Comfort Food,” by Donna George Storey, or taking sex and bondage into the great outdoors in “Something to Ruin” by Amelia Thornton, these women indulge in new ways of getting off and pushing the limits of their lust. Thornton writes: “Despite my longing, there was still part of me that wanted to protest, to tell him to cut me loose, to run wildly through the forest back to the safety of our picnic blanket, but to me that is the beauty of rope: to desire escape but to willingly be imprisoned, to feel the pressure of something that prevents my movement, yet to know there is no place that I feel safer than when trapped like this.” She captures the excitement of giving in to a dominant lover, even when there is a small part of the narrator that is unsure, for that is precisely the part that fuels her desire. This story captures the true power that lies in submission and the many joys it can bring. In “Her, Him and Them,” by Aimee Pearl, the narrator submits to various lovers who question her and push her not only to be the best sub she can be, but to figure out why, exactly, she likes the thrill of submission and service.
I hope these stories inspire some lusty days and nights for you, as they have for me.
Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City
Write a story with me Monday night at My Sexy Muse
On Monday night, August 19th, from 7-9 pm EST, I'm taking part in a very cool event called My Sexy Muse - I along with hosts Alyssa Turner, Renea Mason and Jenny Lyn will be posting sexy photos and story prompts, and anyone can add to the story! Join us at this Facebook URL for collaborative hotness!
Albuquerque Erotica 101 class November 12th at Self Serve Toys!
I'm writing about all sorts of things and getting ready for the hotness that is
The Big Book of Orgasms
, which hits stores at the end of September, but I wanted to let you know that I'll be teaching Erotica 101 on Tuesday night, November 12th, in Albuquerque, New Mexico at Self Serve Toys. If you know anyone in the area who might be interested, please let them know! Details will be up on the site shortly. I'm thrilled to be visiting Albuquerque for the first time, so if you have recommendations on what I should check out there, let me know at rachelkb at gmail.com - on my list of places to visit is the George O'Keeffe Museum in Santa Fe while I'm in town!
I'll be posting more about it soon, and am working on a little video about my erotica classes and tips for Swellcon, a collection of videos for The Smitten Kitten in Minneapolis, which just celebrated its 10 year anniversary. Yay sex toys!
I'll be posting more about it soon, and am working on a little video about my erotica classes and tips for Swellcon, a collection of videos for The Smitten Kitten in Minneapolis, which just celebrated its 10 year anniversary. Yay sex toys!
August 8, 2013
Anal sex book BOGO: buy Baby Got Back, get Between the Cheeks free during Anal Pleasure Month!
To celebrate August, aka anal pleasure month, and my two books about the topic, I'm offering you a special deal for purchases made from August 1-31: buy my book Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica from Amazon.com, Bn.com, Cleis Press or your local bookstore and I'll send you the Kindle or Nook ebook version of Between the Cheeks: Anal Erotica, the 6-story ebook I edited. Just forward your receipt (or snapshot of receipt from brick and mortar store) to analantho at gmail.com with "BOGO" in the subject line and specify if you want the Kindle or Nook version. Must send receipt by September 1, 2013, 9 a.m. EST. At this time, this deal is only for the print version of Baby Got Back as the ebook versions aren't for sale yet.
If Baby Got Back does well, I'll be pitching another anal sex erotica book, so fans of backdoor pleasuring, spread the word! Thanks for your support on the back end (couldn't resist). Here's a refresher on what's in the books:
Introduction: Prepared for Pleasure (read it here) Brenda’s Booty Tenille Brown
Rectified Tiffany Reisz
Delivery Emerald
My Turn Anya Levin
A Winter’s Tail Veronica Wilde
No Rest for the Sick Medea Mor
Vin Rouge Pour Trois Erobintica
The Support Group Fiona Curtis
Lights Out Angela R. Sargenti
Bar None Mina Murray
Seat Belts Kate Dominic
Better Than a Massage Annabeth Leong
Body Heat Shoshanna Evers
What You Feel Like Talon Rihai and Salome Wilde
Her Kingdom for Her Ass Maggie Morton
A Taste of Jamaica D. Fostalove
Hard Astern Thomas S. Roche
In Training D. L. King
Everybody Knows Giselle Renarde
With Lucy in the Middle Kathleen Tudor
Keeping the British End Up M. Howard
Two-Timing Laura Antoniou
Plugged In Rachel Kramer Bussel
Buy Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica from:
Amazon
Bn.com
Books-a-Million
Powell's
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)
Cleis Press
Here's the table of contents:
Pink Satin Purse • Donna George Storey
As Long As You Don't Wake Me • Neil Gavriel
Apple Blossoms • Emerald
A Different Kind of Reality Show • D. L. King
Playing the Market • Angela Caperton
Worth It • Alison Tyler
If Baby Got Back does well, I'll be pitching another anal sex erotica book, so fans of backdoor pleasuring, spread the word! Thanks for your support on the back end (couldn't resist). Here's a refresher on what's in the books:
Introduction: Prepared for Pleasure (read it here) Brenda’s Booty Tenille Brown
Rectified Tiffany Reisz
Delivery Emerald
My Turn Anya Levin
A Winter’s Tail Veronica Wilde
No Rest for the Sick Medea Mor
Vin Rouge Pour Trois Erobintica
The Support Group Fiona Curtis
Lights Out Angela R. Sargenti
Bar None Mina Murray
Seat Belts Kate Dominic
Better Than a Massage Annabeth Leong
Body Heat Shoshanna Evers
What You Feel Like Talon Rihai and Salome Wilde
Her Kingdom for Her Ass Maggie Morton
A Taste of Jamaica D. Fostalove
Hard Astern Thomas S. Roche
In Training D. L. King
Everybody Knows Giselle Renarde
With Lucy in the Middle Kathleen Tudor
Keeping the British End Up M. Howard
Two-Timing Laura Antoniou
Plugged In Rachel Kramer Bussel
Buy Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica from:
Amazon
Bn.com
Books-a-Million
Powell's
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore)
Cleis Press
Here's the table of contents:
Pink Satin Purse • Donna George Storey
As Long As You Don't Wake Me • Neil Gavriel
Apple Blossoms • Emerald
A Different Kind of Reality Show • D. L. King
Playing the Market • Angela Caperton
Worth It • Alison Tyler
An iPhone app will now calculate how good your sex life is
My latest Medium post is called "I Don't Want or Need an App to Measure My Sex Life." If you like it, please click "recommend" at the bottom and spread the word. And I took my Hitachi Magic Wand for a sex drive:
This isn't really related, other than to say that while I don't want badges for having sex (you earn them using Spreadsheets), even on Hannukah, I do highly recommend the JetBlue badges program. If you already fly JetBlue, it's totally worth it. You get frequent flyer miles just for joining, and then more when you earn badges for travel, social media use and other things. I have a few trips coming up with JetBlue: Burlington, Vermont, Charleston, South Carolina and Albuquerque, New Mexico--I chose the latter in part because JetBlue had cheap flights, $133 each way. But really I'm such a booster for them because they make flying as easy as possible. They don't charge for the first checked bag, which I so appreciate; for other airlines, I'd rather pay more for my ticket price and not have to fork over an extra $25 each way for my luggage. I just overall have had good experiences with JetBlue, though I check prices and fly whichever airline is cheapest.
This isn't really related, other than to say that while I don't want badges for having sex (you earn them using Spreadsheets), even on Hannukah, I do highly recommend the JetBlue badges program. If you already fly JetBlue, it's totally worth it. You get frequent flyer miles just for joining, and then more when you earn badges for travel, social media use and other things. I have a few trips coming up with JetBlue: Burlington, Vermont, Charleston, South Carolina and Albuquerque, New Mexico--I chose the latter in part because JetBlue had cheap flights, $133 each way. But really I'm such a booster for them because they make flying as easy as possible. They don't charge for the first checked bag, which I so appreciate; for other airlines, I'd rather pay more for my ticket price and not have to fork over an extra $25 each way for my luggage. I just overall have had good experiences with JetBlue, though I check prices and fly whichever airline is cheapest.
No FOMO
I've boiled down new life philosophy to this: No FOMO (fear of missing out). I'll be writing more about that fear, but yesterday crystallized for me something I should have realized last fall, when my inflated ego led me to rearrange my Chicago trip so I could do a reading at Grand Central Station's Posman Books. I thought I was such hot shit because I was reading at Grand Central. That's not to say it wasn't fun or an honor or cool, but rather that it wasn't necessarily something that was worth changing my whole schedule over. Very little is. Yet because of my FOMO, plus fear that if I don't say yes to every opportunity ever no one will ever buy my books again, I keep repeating that mistake. That's over, and I feel much more peaceful, knowing that my limited time on this earth is mine to control, plan and parcel out.
That's not to say every second of it will be spent doing things I like, or that I can't juggle and rearrange my schedule as needed, or that sometimes, plans go awry. It just means that I have to make smarter, more pro-active decisions and focus on my bottom line. If I do that and keep my actions in alignment with my life goals, everyone wins. I don't want to be someone that keeps making the same mistake over and over, but rather someone who uses her past to better her present. FOMO always leads me down a bad path, because it tricks me into thinking that no matter what choice I make, it's the wrong one. It tells me that every party, reading, trip, concert, movie, lunch, dinner, date, etc., is some kind of magical gathering that I must attend or else, and if I miss it I'll somehow be much worse off, rather than just someone who didn't make it to one thing.
Certainly, if I ever hope to become a parent, or live somewhere more remote, that way of thinking has to die a fast death. Ultimately, the probably with my FOMO is that I'm never at the center of it; it's everything else that determines how I spend my time. It's that external thing that will convey its magic it factor onto me, make me better, rather than me making myself better, me entertaining myself, me working on myself. That is what 2013 is blaring loudly at me, with megaphones and red flags and nightmares and reminders left, right and center to do. Chasing the high of external praise, kudos and events only keeps me further away from that core of me that keeps sending the SOS signals. So I'm listening to her, that core. I'm letting her tell me what matters, what she needs, what her values are. And they have absolutely nothing to do with the outside, and everything to do with this:
That's not to say every second of it will be spent doing things I like, or that I can't juggle and rearrange my schedule as needed, or that sometimes, plans go awry. It just means that I have to make smarter, more pro-active decisions and focus on my bottom line. If I do that and keep my actions in alignment with my life goals, everyone wins. I don't want to be someone that keeps making the same mistake over and over, but rather someone who uses her past to better her present. FOMO always leads me down a bad path, because it tricks me into thinking that no matter what choice I make, it's the wrong one. It tells me that every party, reading, trip, concert, movie, lunch, dinner, date, etc., is some kind of magical gathering that I must attend or else, and if I miss it I'll somehow be much worse off, rather than just someone who didn't make it to one thing.
Certainly, if I ever hope to become a parent, or live somewhere more remote, that way of thinking has to die a fast death. Ultimately, the probably with my FOMO is that I'm never at the center of it; it's everything else that determines how I spend my time. It's that external thing that will convey its magic it factor onto me, make me better, rather than me making myself better, me entertaining myself, me working on myself. That is what 2013 is blaring loudly at me, with megaphones and red flags and nightmares and reminders left, right and center to do. Chasing the high of external praise, kudos and events only keeps me further away from that core of me that keeps sending the SOS signals. So I'm listening to her, that core. I'm letting her tell me what matters, what she needs, what her values are. And they have absolutely nothing to do with the outside, and everything to do with this:
The funniest use of my books ever
This totally made me smile, as did its corresponding awesome review of Serving Him at Clitical! Jenne wrote:
Many of the stories refer to the freedom that is often experienced by the very act of submitting. I adored the story, Silver Fish In The Crystal Pool by Gina Marie which is an awesome example of this. In the story the female sub is bound to a tree, but it’s more than that she becomes one with the tree as she feels the pleasure her Master administers. I loved the imagery the authors words create in my mind. I loved these lines for example: “ You’re not wet, lover. Why aren’t you wet?” The breeze catches the river of juice streaming down my thighs and my mind is tumbling. There is symbolism in this story that reaches far beyond the juices that I found running down my own thighs as I read.
August 6, 2013
Writing lessons from a 3-year-old
As I face what feel like increasingly scary blank pages, all the more frustrating because I always assumed that the more you write, the more confident you will be in your writing, I’m reminded of a lesson my 3-year-old cousin taught me this summer. When I first arrived on Martha’s Vineyard, which was also I believe his first day, he would freak out every time my uncle’s dog came outside. He’d run to hide inside and wouldn’t come out until she’d gone back inside. They were staying in separate houses, but next door to each other. Over the course of my visit, I noticed that he got increasingly calmer when the dog was around. He’d realized, and been shown, that if he was calm around her, she actually wasn’t so bad, just a big, lumbering friendly dog. I even saw him pet her, and it was like he was in awe that this being he’d been so afraid of could be so fun. His face still lit up, but this time with fascination.
That’s kindof how it is with me and writing. It’s so scary, from afar, all these to do lists items. I am so certain I will never get through them, or they’ll suck, or not be what I wanted them to be originally. Probably, on that last point, they won’t be, because what piece of writing ever is exactly how you envision it? But then I dive in, and I realize that it’s always such a relief to get through it, to go into the fire and realize it’s not actually a fire at all, just words, some good, some not as good, but all part of the process. Far better to have tried than to have simply “written” drafts in my head and let the ideas die there. Lately I don’t embrace the act of writing with open arms; it’s more like being dragged to it, and then sometimes in the middle, I catch myself marveling at what is pouring forth. It’s often the most unlikely scenes and conclusions, ideas I didn’t know I had buried somewhere inside. It’s those I’m most scared of, clearly, but also those I need to let come out, or be haunted by them. And maybe, like with my cousin, they’ll be all the more satisfying for having feared them, and written through the fear.
That’s kindof how it is with me and writing. It’s so scary, from afar, all these to do lists items. I am so certain I will never get through them, or they’ll suck, or not be what I wanted them to be originally. Probably, on that last point, they won’t be, because what piece of writing ever is exactly how you envision it? But then I dive in, and I realize that it’s always such a relief to get through it, to go into the fire and realize it’s not actually a fire at all, just words, some good, some not as good, but all part of the process. Far better to have tried than to have simply “written” drafts in my head and let the ideas die there. Lately I don’t embrace the act of writing with open arms; it’s more like being dragged to it, and then sometimes in the middle, I catch myself marveling at what is pouring forth. It’s often the most unlikely scenes and conclusions, ideas I didn’t know I had buried somewhere inside. It’s those I’m most scared of, clearly, but also those I need to let come out, or be haunted by them. And maybe, like with my cousin, they’ll be all the more satisfying for having feared them, and written through the fear.
