Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 89

69 orgasms, 69 stories - how to get a free copy of The Big Book of Orgasms!

I'll be revealing excerpts from The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories soon, and am putting all my focus and energy into making it my bestselling book ever (it's my 54th, for the numbers nerds like me). That may sound like a lot, and it's a number I'm proud of, but I want to make sure if I'm going to keep editing books, that they are worthwhile ones that find their audiences, not just sit waiting for someone to pick them up. I want to do whatever I can to make sure that readers who like very short stories (all the ones in this book are 1,200 words or less) hear about this book, so anything you can do to help spread the word is much appreciated. What's in it for you? How about a free copy before it hits stores? The catch is you agree to review it within 6 weeks of receipt on Amazon.com, so please don't request it if you can't meet this deadline. I've got around 30 copies left of the 100 I'm sending out later this month; see info below to request your copy! (I will update this post once I hit 100 requests.) Want a free postcard (U.S. only)? Email orgasmantho at gmail.com with "Postcard" in the subject line and your name and mailing address in the body and I'll send one to you. Know of a bookstore, sex toy shop, conference or other location that would put out postcards? Email their address to orgasmantho at gmail.com - thank you so much! Everyone who spreads the word with a retweet, a review, a recommendation, is helping send this big little book off into the world in a big way!

You can also follow the book on Tumblr, where you can read the table of contents and author bios, as well as @BigBookofOrgasm on Twitter and on Facebook, and show your love by rating it on Goodreads. I'm working on compiling a list of sex toys used in the book!

For me, one of the most gratifying parts of editing 69-story collections is the opportunity to publish so many new writers! Many are making their print erotica debut in this anthology, and I'm sure will be publishing many more stories. That is a thrill and an honor and I'd love to see lots of new readers taking a chance on these very short but very sexy stories.

The usual details: You MUST have an Amazon.com account you've made a purchase from previously (Amazon's requirement for reviews). Print books will only be mailed to U.S. addresses. Your review must be posted within 6 weeks of receipt of the book. Reviews can be short (Amazon suggests 75-300 words); for examples, see the Amazon reviews for Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex. Email orgasmantho at gmail.com with "Amazon" in the subject line for print copies and your U.S. snail mail address or "Kindle" in the subject line with your email address to send the Kindle edition (I cannot sent to @kindle.com addresses). The first 100 people will get their copies in September or October, along with my gratitude! I'll update this post once the 100 books have been claimed. You are free to review it elsewhere too, like Goodreads or your blog, but this promotion is specifically focused on Amazon.com so if you don't have an Amazon account or can't commit to reviewing it on Amazon within 6 weeks of receipt, please do not request a copy.

Official description:

What happens when you bring together 69 authors sharing their hottest orgasm stories? If you have top notch erotica editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, you get The Big Book of Orgasms! This climactic collection captures top erotica writers serving up steamy scenarios all focused on The Big O. Whether getting off from exhibitionism, voyeurism, or a very special pair of blue jeans, the characters in The Big Book of Orgasms explore all sorts of ways they can come. Go "Under the Table" with Elizabeth Coldwell and cheer for "The Pink Team" by Kelly Rand. Discover the thrill of hot wax and even hotter sex; these short stories bring the heat on every page! With a foreword by Ecstasy is Necessary author Barbara Carrellas, these are climaxes you'll want to relive again and again.

Dr. Ruth once said about Rachel Kramer Bussel, "she is only satisfied if you come and come again." With this rousing read, The Big Book of Orgasms counts all the wonderful ways women get off. Inspirational as well as aspirational, this book celebrates women's sexuality by reaching new heights of excellence. Each of the 69 stories about "the big O" is a peak experience in and of itself.

Table of contents:

Foreword: Foreplay: Figments of Erotic Imagination by Barbara Carrellas
Introduction: Orgasm Is Just the Beginning

The Beginning B. D. Swain
How You Christen a Bed Thomas S. Roche
All You Do Is Play Annabeth Leong
Hard Knocks Malin James
The Gallery Exhibit Chris Komodo
White Preston Avery
Matinee Suleikha Snyder
All Talk Jenna Bright
Scarecrow Giselle Renarde
In Her Hands Tenille Brown
Remote Control Logan Zachary
Weathering the Storm Salome Wilde
Hellfire Valerie Alexander
Her Lover Is a Flame Cecilia Tan
Me Vengo! Mistress Kay
Count Out the Strokes Virgie Tovar
Steamy Tess Danesi
Payback Emerald
Come On Raziel Moore
The Pink Team Kelly Rand
Headache Sherry Reid
Pushing Boundaries on Public Transport Victoria Blisse
Runner’s High Sam Angioli
His Three Conditions Medea Mor
The Morning After David Salcido
Look at Yourself Maxine Marsh
Do It Again Sinclair Sexsmith
Under the Table Elizabeth Coldwell
Light Sleeper Mina Murray
The Big Cat Cecilia Duvalle
Opening Doors Thea Landen
Baxter’s Boy Xan West
Suds and a Two-Piece Bathing Suit Brantwijn Serrah
The Jeffrey Factor Stella Harris
Chains of Love Lily K. Cho
By the Beat T. Fox Dunham
Icing on the Cake Lula Lisbon
The Massage Lady Cheeky
Feast for the Senses Riley Shane
Squirt Evoë Thorne
Piano Man A. M. Hartnett
Out of Control Crystal Jordan
Tantric Home Dominic Santi
Queer for Mike Shane Allison
Meeting Cute Vanessa Madison
Cheryl Andreas Amsterdam
Beer and Orgasms Jeremy Edwards
Sullied Innocence Neve Black
The Rub Jon Fulton
The Park Elise Hepner
Coming Together: The Elusive Simultaneous Orgasm Jade Melisande
Meeting Myself Anya Levin
I Am Not Cruel J. Sinclaire
Cooling Agents Marina Saint
Seeing Is Believing Heidi Champa
The Velocity of Roaches Michael A. Gonzales
After the Funeral Jeanette Grey
There Sommer Marsden
Forced Orgasms Shoshanna Evers
Blue Jean Baby Eleanor Proctor
Learning Experience Kathleen Tudor
A Teachable Moment Walter Pratt
The Flogger Jade A. Waters
Book Lover Donna George Storey
Tied by Red Kay Jaybee
After Party Drew Griffiths
I’m on Fire Rachel Kramer Bussel
Should You Ever Be Allowed to Feel This Good? Lillian Ann Slugocki
The Final Challenge Heather Day

Orgasm Is Just the Beginning

As Barbara Carrellas writes, there are so many types of orgasms, more than any single book could cover, but within these pages, you will not only find numerous types of orgasms, as well as the varied characters who experience them, you will also discover different motivations for getting off. Some have a tried and true method, some are willing to take a chance on a new sexual practice—or partner. Some of these characters orgasm frequently; some are aching for the chance to share their body with another person. Some let their orgasms be controlled by a lover; some actively take control of their climaxes.

“You amaze me,” the nameless protagonist of B. D. Swain’s opening story “The Beginning” proclaims. You—readers, authors, orgasmers—amaze me with your boundless sexual hunger and creativity. I’ve been writing and editing erotica for over a decade, but part of why it never gets old is because of the richness, diversity and nuance I find in the stories that come (no pun intended) my way. They fuel my own imagination and show me that I can always learn more about orgasm, about desire, about sex.

The format of 1,200 words or less means these are extremely short stories, but I hope you’ll find, like I did, that what they lack in length they make up for in hotness. As with my previous short-short anthology Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex, all the pieces you hold in your hand, even the shortest ones (“The Park,” by Elise Hepner, clocks in at 249 words; “Her Lover Is a Flame,” by Cecilia Tan, at 308) offer a snapshot of eroticism that draws you completely into its folds. You might consider each one a teaser, an appetizer, the beginning of a fantasy world you can place yourself into and choose your own orgasmic adventure as you consider where the story might go after the last word printed on the page.

Sometimes less is more, and if these stories leave you wanting to see them continued, that’s a good thing. They are, like the narrative in Swain’s opener states, “just the beginning.” Very likely you’ll find a type of orgasm, a sex toy, a scenario, a position or a fantasy you’d like to see represented here that may not be. If so, please write yours and continue the conversation. If your orgasm doesn’t look or feel the way these characters’ climaxes do, that’s perfectly okay. I want to see us expand the possibilities for pleasure, orgasmic and otherwise, not add to the umpteen ways we’re told we “should” orgasm or have sex. Just as a physical orgasm, however you define or experience that sensation, doesn’t define the end of a sexual encounter, a literary orgasm should not mean you are done interacting with the story. I’ve reread these pieces, and the numerous submissions I received for this book, multiple times, and each read offers me something new to consider. I envision The Big Book of Orgasm as one you’ll want to revisit, to pick up and read aloud from your favorites to a lover, to keep next to your bed, to tuck into your travel bag.

I’m especially pleased to be publishing so many authors in this collection for the first time in one of my anthologies. There is a power and depth to these voices that I hope resonates with you.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

NYC workshop September 20th: Writing Erotica for Pleasure and Money

I'm adding a fourth event to my schedule - a New York City class on Friday, September 20th from 7:30-8:45 p.m. at the New York Academy of Sex Education at 81 White Street in Manhattan on Writing Erotica for Pleasure and Money. It's $25/person and space is limited. If you know anyone who might be interested, I'd love it if you'd pass it on.

Whether you’re writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. You are sure to find growth with the very prolific, award winning erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. She will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. She will talk about incorporating everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing. Rachel will teach you how to groom your writing to fit particular magazines and anthologies. And how to submit your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Materials needed: Please bring a laptop or paper and pen.

How writing for free can lead to paying writing work

I used Grammarly to grammar check this post, because despite my horror when I see discreet and discrete mixed up, I have my own grammar bugaboos.*

Let me start by saying that this is a complicated topic, and I don't have all the answers. There are many factors that go into deciding whether to write for free, how much to charge, what your minimum fees are, etc. What I want to do with this post is offer a few examples of how writing for free led me to paying writing jobs. That being said, I believe everyone should be paid for their work, and don't think you should aim to write for free. You should aim as high as you can, and equal pay for equal work isn't just about gender equality, but about knowing, owning and demanding your worth. That being said, if working unpaid can lead to bigger and better things that you might not have access to otherwise, it can be worthwhile, in my experience (and of course I'm only writing from my own very limited experience here).

My aim here isn't to debate the finer points of what writers should get paid; you can get fascinating insights into that at The Awl in "How Much Should A Writer Get Paid? A Conversation", and Noah Davis breaks down his freelancing assignment rates by the numbers.

Ann Friedman offers up some excellent reasons to write for free, based on her work experience. Of her pie charts for The Hairpin, she writes: "After I published a few and people seemed to like them, I made it a goal to find a publication to pay me for similar work. "

I also can't recommend enough Virginia Sole-Smith's writing about freelancing, especially "On Getting Paid (And Knowing Your Worth)" (her math on figuring out how valuable your time is was a whole new way of looking at the topic for me) and "Why Creative Word Fairies Need Business Plans, Too".

In my case, I'd written a few pieces for Nicole Cliffe when she was at The Hairpin, for free. Why? Well, I'd pitched my review of The Feminist Porn Book to a few sites that passed, and wanted it to be read, ideally by readers who'd be interested in the topic, plus I wanted it to be timely. I didn't want the work I'd put into the review to go to waste, and I wanted to join the conversation about the book. I also did an interview with former Westboro Baptist Church member Lauren Drain about her memoir, Banished, for similar reasons. When it was announced that Nicole was leaving The Hairpin to launch The Toast, I queried her, and so far have written "Sympathy for E.L. James" and "Hoarding Isn't Fashionable or Glamorous." Both pieces are paid. I couldn't have known that would happen at the time, but it was fortuitous.

I got invited to write for Medium.com in May, and was interested because I'd read about the site on Gawker, and was avidly reading all sorts of essays about a variety of topics. Most were tech-related, but there was also a great column by bakery owner Allison Robicelli, about everything from appearing on Chopped to her letter to a first-time father.

Even though I wasn't being paid, I agonized and agonized over what my first post should be; I even decided I'd try to go all out and push myself to write an essay a day. That so didn't happen, despite my handy chart of what I planned to write about. Maybe someday it will. But when James Gandolfini died, I hammered out my first post for them: "James Gandolfini Was My Celebrity Crush." I worked all morning on it, then hit publish, and went to lunch. I didn't get paid, but you know what? I felt great, for having written it. For not having thought about it for weeks or months until my ideas turned to mush in my head. Salon reprinted it. I didn't get paid for those, but it was okay, because I had contributed something I thought was important, and perhaps brought in new readers in the process. One thing I especially like about Medium, as a reader and writer, is that your profile is linked to your Twitter account (you must have a Twitter account to post on Medium), so it's very easy to start following writers you like. I've found some amazing writers that way. You can also view your statistics, and I'm trying to use this information to help me figure out what works and what doesn't in terms of drawing readers, which I plan to use when formulating pitches for other publications. For me, since much of the focus of the writing is tech-oriented, I have a feeling I'm reaching readers I wouldn't normally reach, which to my mind is always a good thing.

When I was asked to contribute to the Boinkology collection at Medium, I was honored, but I said I'd only do it if I was paid. This was different to me than the Gandolfini piece, because this is my area of expertise, the topic I write most about, and I'd probably be writing things I'd likely sell elsewhere if I didn't write about them for Medium. Based on the Gandolfini piece, someone who I don't think would've known my work previously, knew who I was and agreed. So far I've written "Wikipedia Thinks I’m a Lesbian — And This Bisexual Is Okay With That" and "I Don’t Want or Need an App to Measure My Sex Life" and "5 Ways to Use Technology to Write Erotica". One thing browsing Medium, including their monthly top posts(right now "Why I Quit CrossFit" was the most popular in July), has shown me, is the power of a headline. Think about your title standing alone on Twitter as a link. Then, it won't be your name or your writing or wittiness selling it, it'll be your title. That has helped me crystallize exactly what I'm trying to say, hopefully in a snappy way.

Here's where it gets a little woo-woo: you never know who is going to read your work, and where that might lead. Ann Friedman says she plays a long game. As someone who is both trying to sell freelance articles and promote my anthologies and, hopefully, someday, my own authored books, I know that there may be readers who've never heard of my erotica, or never thought about reading erotica, but might think, Hmmm....Baby Got Back. That's funny. Maybe I'll check that out. That's why I have stories posted for free on my website and Goodreads. I got paid to write them, but am now giving them away, in the name of building up a readership. And I think that figuring out what your end goals are is important. I don't have that aspect totally down pat, but I know that I have books coming out well into 2014, so I try to keep up with what's happening in the fields I write about, but also broaden my reach to readers who may never browse the erotica section but might want to check something out based on reading either my nonfiction or fiction. You never know who might see a post and, whether that day or down the road, recommend you or your books to someone else. That's the part that you can't control, and may never even know whether or how someone came to notice you, but for me, it's worth taking the chance. My royalty checks are what pay my rent (with a bump from freelancing), so if I write something for free but enough people see it and buy a few books, that helps.

Right now I'm working to get my career in alignment, so the things I want to write about are also the things I get paid for. I spend a lot of time pitching, and sometimes that feels like "wasted" time, in the sense that I tend to agonize over it and do a ton of research and most often it doesn't yield an assignment. Those pitches aren't paid, but the hope is that by honing my pitches, reading the publications I want to write for diligently, broadening my scope and keeping pitching, it will pay off. I'm not looking for more opportunities to write for free, but rather, more opportunities to expand my reach and try to make freelancing a sustainable career option for me. I almost didn't write this post because I feared that saying I sometimes write for free would give me less bargaining power when I do pitch publications I want to write for. But again, you need to know your own rock-bottom needs and criteria for writing for free or for pay.

A tangential but semi-related topic is that sometimes, for me, it's been worth it to pay money to get a byline. Not buying the byline, but spending money to attend an event or purchase a product so that I could write about it. I paid $129.12 (according to my PayPal record) to attend the E.L. James luncheon by Divalysscious Moms that helped me break into the New York Observer. Not only did attending this event give me insights I wouldn't have had otherwise into the Fifty Shades fandom phenomenon, but also this led directly to me covering a Koch protest in the Hamptons for them. I will also share something that is a huge no-no that I did, a mistake I hope you will never make: I never turned in my receipts to get reimbursed. I saved them, and meant to send them, and then...didn't. Oops. I've done that multiple times, and I have no excuse, but that's a surefire route to making your expenditures not worth it. Keep track of everything, and if your publication is reimbursing you, turn in your receipts right away. Even if they're not, save them for when you do your taxes. I'm attending another event soon that I paid for, in the hopes of covering it for a venue I haven't written for yet, and if that gambit succeeds, it will have been worth it (and if not, it will be an interesting life experience).

Ultimately, I agree with Slate's Matthew Yglesias (see also: his first post on writing for free):

The fact remains that if you have things to say that you think are worthwhile and nobody is offering to pay you to say them, you ought to say them anyway for free. If enough people agree with you that those things are worthwhile, it just may lead to something.

I write for free when the pros outweigh the cons, or I've simply run out of time or patience pitching a piece and would rather get it up, anywhere, than have it live on my computer with only me reading it. Or sometimes, I want a piece to fit in well with like-minded pieces. I weigh the venue and the effort involved and how important it is to me to give the piece a home, and what the possible gains might be. I've written plenty of pieces that never went anywhere because I couldn't sell them, and as I move into my third year of freelancing, I'm doing my best to make sure that doesn't happen, or else take it as a sign, to pitch better and smarter (which is why I very well may retake Anne Trubek's excellent How to Pitch and Submit class, which I highly recommend).

' Lately, I've been riddled with fear, anxiety, writer's block, self-hatred...I could go on, but the point is, I have barely been able to write lately, whether I'm being paid or not. I'm working on conquering those fears, which circle like vultures, zooming in on my weakest spots. In the meantime, any writing is useful to me, because it shows me I can do it, which is another piece of the puzzle, because first i have to believe in myself and prove myself, before I can expect anyone else to. Publishing the pieces I've linked to above for free shows me not every piece has to be perfect (according to me) to be valid, to be done, to be able to turn it in and move on to the next one, and the next, and the next.

* To wrap this all up and comply with the FTC, this post is sponsored by Grammarly, but I was planning to write it anyway.

Two new memoirs reviewed at Huffington Post

I reviewed two memoirs at The Huffington Post, The Art of Sleeping Alone by Sophie Fontanel and Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin by Nicole Hardy, both of which I included in my 9 Memoirs About Not Having Sex roundup at Bustle.

I reviewed two memoirs at The Huffington Post, The Art of...

I reviewed two memoirs at The Huffington Post, The Art of Sleeping Alone by Sophie Fontanel and Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin by Nicole Hardy, both of which I included in my 9 Memoirs About Not Having Sex roundup at Bustle.

3 erotica events and my erotic writing tips

When I was in Vermont last weekend (more on that soon), I was perusing alt weekly Seven Days and found so many classes and events that would make great settings for erotica stories. There's more about using both technology (and much of it is applicable to whatever's around you, including event listings) to write erotica in "5 Ways to Use Technology to Write Erotica" (if you like my piece, please click "recommend" at the bottom).

I have 3 upcoming events in Manhattan, Milwaukee and Albuquerque -- and I'd love to visit your college or store or conference to give an erotic writing workshop! Email me at rachelkb at gmail.com with "Erotica 101" in the subject line for my rates.

September 25, 7-9 pm (free but you MUST RSVP to info at vicamillersalons.com)
Vica Miller Fall Erotica Salon287 Spring Street, NYC
Featuring Liesl Schillinger, The Other Room author Kim Triedman, Fifty Shades of Dorian Gray author Nicole Audrey Spector and me, reading from my nudist hotel story "Marks" in Cheeky Spanking Stories
Full details here



September 27, 8-9:30 pm
Erotica 101 Writing Workshop, MilwaukeeSign up at The Tool Shed
Professional erotica author and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel will take you through the ins and outs of modern erotic writing. Learn how to get started, find your voice, and write against type. You'll learn how to incorporate everyday scenarios as well as outlandish fantasies into your writing, and make them fit for particular magazines and anthologies. She'll also talk about submitting your work and keeping up with the thriving erotica market (including anthologies, ebooks, magazines and websites). Whether you're writing to that special someone, penning longtime fantasies, or want to earn cash for your dirty words, this workshop is for you. Paper and writing implements will be provided or you can use your own laptop. $20 per person

PLEASE NOTE: When you pay/register for a class online, your name will be added to the guest list for the event-- tickets will not be mailed. Please arrive a few minutes early to check in with the front desk.
2427 N. Murray Ave, Milwaukee, WI 53211, 414-906-5304

November 12, 7:30-9 pm
Erotica 101 Writing Workshop, Albuquerque
same description as above, $20/person; $35/pair, register online at above link to reserve your spot
3904B Central Ave SE, Albuquerque, NM 87108, 505-265-5815, info at selfservetoys.com

My Go Topless Day article, about bare breasts and feminism

My latest for Medium is "On Go Topless Day, a look at topless activism and the law" (subtitle: "Should women defend our right to bare our breasts in public?") and I will once again ask that if you like it, click "recommend" at the bottom. I hope this piece leads to more writing for them, and the recommends help. The article is about today being Go Topless Day, women who've been arrested for going topless , and a look at topless and topfree activism, with detours into things like nurse-ins and the journalist who took her top off in the middle of interviewing a mayor. How could I not find this subject fascinating? If you click on the link in my article for The Outdoor Co-Ed Topless Pulp Fiction Society, you can see some photos of my boobs, and a different topless lady reading my book Cheeky Spanking Stories, along with us in the Washington Square Park fountain, enjoying gelato, and generally having a wonderful day. if you're into that kind of thing. I hope to cover (pun intended--there are many to be made!) another of their events soon.

How to Use Technology to Write Erotica and 9 Memoirs About Not Having Sex

I wrote 2 recent pieces about two of my favorite topics: erotica and books! "5 Ways To Use Technology to Write Erotica" - I link to a couple current calls for submissions for anthologies and offer up ways to brainstorm erotic story ideas. I will be ballsy/annoying and ask that if you like my Medium piece, you click "recommend" at the bottom -- I really appreciate it! And if you want in-person erotica advice, I'm teaching Erotica 101 September 27th at The Tool Shed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and November 12th at Self Serve Toys in Albuquerque, New Mexico (and am always open to teaching at new venues, email me at rachelkb at gmail.com for my rates).

"9 Memoirs About Not Having Sex" at Bustle (yes, Bussel on Bustle) - leading off with this week's release, Confessions of a Latter-day Virgin by Nicole J. Hardy, which I highly recommend. More on that one soon, but I think it speaks so much to the longing for connection and intimacy, and the ways that often religion (in this case, Mormonism), doesn't provide that. But it's also about self-discovery and travel and independence and is a lovely memoir.

Freelancing limbo land

My professional life feels very up in the air at the moment. I'm not sure if it's time to start thinking about giving up freelance writing and anthology editing for the most part and find a job, let alone who would hire me, or whether to lean in, and if the latter, how to go about it. I feel like all I can see are all the things I didn't do, and won't get a chance to do again, even though I also know that there's a world of possibility potentially waiting for me. I have no idea, and that is probably the part of freelancing I hate the most: the precariousness. One day is up, one day is down. One royalty statement makes me feel like I'm awesome and one makes me feel like the worst editor ever. It's unsettling and I don't know if I'm cut out for the ups and downs, though I love diving into a new story like the one I sent out on spec yesterday that I am hoping someone out there wants to buy.

I think that part of freelancing, the part where you are always hovering on the verge of rejection, where rejection is built into the job, and it's hard to know what's a "good idea" and what's a "waste of time," is why I'm ready to start looking for a job. But I'm giving myself until my birthday. I'm turning 38 and treating myself to a trip to New Mexico, where I'll be teaching Erotica 101 on November 12th at Self Serve Toys (which apparently already has people signed up!), and hopefully being inspired by Georgia O'Keeffe in Santa Fe and Abiquiu. Until then, I'm tracing my fingers over the italics of my "open" tattoo and trying to listen and stay as calm as I can. The other day I was the opposite; the more I internalized the fear and panic and shame, the more I couldn't breathe. That's the feeling I'd be willing to give up writing madness to avoid. But I hope it won't come to that. I hope I can prove to myself, if no one else, that I can meet my goals, that I can not stagnate and wallow, but truly think and be different, better. I'm trying to be rationalize, a businesswoman, rather than take it all so personally, though I'm not sure I'm capable of that. Taking things personally is pretty much in my blood; you don't get the word heart tattooed on your arm if you don't take life personally.

But if I'm walking down the streets of Red Bank and see a great job opening, or meet the right person, I want that resume ready. I want to be open to the idea that giving up won't be failing, but opening a new door, hopefully a more stable and freeing one. I also know it's not all or nothing. I will always write, something, somewhere. But maybe this way of going about it is not for me. I've got a little less than two months until the big 3-8 to find out.

Win a copy of Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica

For you! Sorry, there's supposed to be a cover photo in this but too late to fix now. I promise, it's Baby Got Back .

a Rafflecopter giveaway