Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 132
January 9, 2012
Win this cupcake hand warmer
Enter to win the cupcake hand warmer below at Formstack by Friday, February 3th at 5 pm EST, US only. Visit Cupcakes Take the Cake for lots more contests coming up. And do be sure to check out my 10 Valentine's Day cake pops post!
January 8, 2012
Want to read this novel based on artist Tamara de Lempicka: The Last Nude by Ellis Avery
I'm a fan of the work of artist Tamara de Lempicka, so of course I'm interested in the new novel
The Last Nude
by Ellis Avery. Looking forward to reading it soon.
Official description (side note: I learn about one new thing in HTML each year, and last year it was how to do a block quote, hence this post's formatting):
An interview with Ellis Avery at the very, very cool site Sheepish Fashionista, if you're into fashion and beauty products and all sorts of interesting intersections between those and literature. To wit, Avery was asked "Who is the best-dressed character you've created? How did you come up with and dress them? What does the way you dress them say about them to you?" and she answered, in part:
A Yahoo! News interview of Avery (in which she also reveals she had to cute 120 pages!):
Author Emma Donoghue interviews Avery at Amazon:
Official description (side note: I learn about one new thing in HTML each year, and last year it was how to do a block quote, hence this post's formatting):
Paris, 1927. In the heady years before the crash, financiers drape their mistresses in Chanel, while expatriates flock to the avant-garde bookshop Shakespeare and Company. One day in July, a young American named Rafaela Fano gets into the car of a coolly dazzling stranger, the Art Deco painter Tamara de Lempicka.
Struggling to halt a downward slide toward prostitution, Rafaela agrees to model for the artist, a dispossessed Saint Petersburg aristocrat with a murky past. The two become lovers, and Rafaela inspires Tamara's most iconic Jazz Age images, among them her most accomplished-and coveted-works of art. A season as the painter's muse teaches Rafaela some hard lessons: Tamara is a cocktail of raw hunger and glittering artifice. And all the while, their romantic idyll is threatened by history's darkening tide.
Inspired by real events in de Lempicka's history, The Last Nude is a tour de force of historical imagination. Ellis Avery gives the reader a tantalizing window into a lost Paris, an age already vanishing as the inexorable forces of history close in on two tangled lives. Spellbinding and provocative, this is a novel about genius and craft, love and desire, regret and, most of all, hope that can transcend time and circumstance.
An interview with Ellis Avery at the very, very cool site Sheepish Fashionista, if you're into fashion and beauty products and all sorts of interesting intersections between those and literature. To wit, Avery was asked "Who is the best-dressed character you've created? How did you come up with and dress them? What does the way you dress them say about them to you?" and she answered, in part:
At the beginning of the novel, which takes place in 1927 Paris, Tamara is the artist and Rafaela is the muse. Over the course of the book, however, Rafaela discovers that she's an artist too, albeit in the trivialized and demoted art of fashion. Rafaela begins this novel, which is very much a story about coming into one's own, in a dress that she made by copying a pattern from Chanel, but by the end she has created a new dress from scratch, one that works a zipper into its design: this is an idea Rafaela comes up with on her own, long before she ever encounters a dress with a zipper by Schiaparelli or anyone else. Rafaela's initial, Chanel-inspired dress is a form-fitting little number made of dazzling teal-blue raw silk, while the zipper dress that ends the book is an A-line piece made of slate-colored gabardine with darker gray piping. Rafaela's zipper dress is designed to draw as much attention to its own construction as it does to its wearer: this is a novel about learning to depend on one's art rather than one's body.
A Yahoo! News interview of Avery (in which she also reveals she had to cute 120 pages!):
Q: You've said you were inspired by the paintings. How did you develop the story and the characters?
A: "I saw her work at the Royal Academy in London in 2004 and came away weak in the knees -- this is so gorgeous -- and the caption said that the young woman in the painting was the 'Beautiful Rafaela' from 1927, that she had met this girl on a walk in the Bois de Bologne and she became her model, and her lover. Their relationship resulted in six paintings, and it seems to have been a brief relationship. Then when I looked at her catalog, the very last painting she was working on when she died was indeed that copy of 'Beautiful Rafaela.' So 53 years later, this girl was still on her mind, which was thrilling to me.
"I got a book of her paintings and cut them out and spread them on the desk. All the paintings from 1925 to 1929, and looked at them for days. I read biographies of de Lempicka by her daughter, by others. I read a lot about her era. But a lot of the work was just looking at the paintings and at the people that she represented, and just trying to enter that world."
Author Emma Donoghue interviews Avery at Amazon:
Donoghue: At what points did you find you had to change a fact in order to make a better fiction?
Avery: First, if Tamara's apartment and the train station had been on the same side of the Seine, there would have been no need for Rafaela to cross the river on a crucial occasion toward the end of the book. For that reason, although the biographical Tamara--whom I got to know through the excellent work of Laura Claridge--lived in what was at the time the newish-money Sixteenth Arrondissement of Paris, my fictional Tamara lives in the old-money Seventh.
Second, when I finished my first novel, set in 1880s Japan, I promised myself that my next book would be about English speakers. Of course, next thing you know, I'm fired up to write about a Polish painter who grew up speaking French. Partly because the biographical Tamara never specified the biographical Rafaela's nationality or origins, and largely for my own sake, to avoid writing another book full of translated dialogue, I have taken the liberty of imagining an English-speaking Rafaela.
What readers are saying about Best Sex Writing 2012
The reviews are in and I figured I'd let you take their word for what's inside
Best Sex Writing 2012
(click to read my introduction), aka the book of mine I'm most proud of and think is, ahem, the best. I know that's totally subject but I'm just super excited about this book and the readings we're planning - so far on tap are readings in Portland, Oregon and Seattle and San Francisco and NYC. Also stay tuned for more contributor videos (I'm working on those) and in non-Best Sex Writing news, I'll be in Milwaukee doing an erotic writing workshop February 9th.
And thanks to everyone who participated in the BOGO offer! Stay tuned for more special offers.
But what I wanted to share were these reviews, which I think get at the heart of what the book's all about:
Five Stars - Fascinating, Engaging, Thorough, January 6, 2012
By mjims
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback)The 2012 edition of "Best Sex Writing" is one of the most thorough compilations of journalistic writing I have ever encountered. Rachel Kramer Bussel and Susie Bright have done an excellent job of selecting pieces that address the year's most newsworthy events, as well as issues that I knew nothing about until I read this collection. Pieces that I was surprised to find in this collection (and are well worth reading) in particular were: a discussion of a ballot initiative to ban circumcision in San Francisco; a thorough examination of the John Ensign sex scandal, and the involvement of current presidential candidate Rick Santorum therein; an article comparing and seeking out the correct definitions of `premature ejaculation'; a fascination explanation of conflicting age of consent and child pornography laws. The list goes on and on. Also included are a large number of personal essays, both humorous and profound. Among them are an open letter to butch lesbians from the point of view of a femme, a touching treatment of sex at 66 years old, and a user's manual for a particularly complicated penis.
This collection is essential reading for anyone interested in the current state of the American sexual landscape. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is worth reading cover to cover; every piece in this book has something to offer for the curious and open-minded.
Provacative, bold, and well-curated, January 5, 2012
By Victoria Bloom
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback)Erotic writer and anthology megaeditor Rachel Bussel and smart-ass sex activist Susie Bright have pulled together an intelligent, spirited, and thought-provoking collection of political and personal essays about sex in America today that makes you want to read in a private place. Not because you are embarrassed to read a sex book in public or because you're going to be aroused, but because you're going to want to talk back out loud to the strong-voiced authors of these no holds barred commentaries, either to yell "Hell, yeah" (for me, that was Camille Dodero's "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks"), argue back with the author (Marty Klein's "Criminalizing Circumcision"), cry a little (Joan Price's "Grief, Resilience, and my 66th Birthday Gift"), or just giggle outrageously (Susie Bright's "Why Lying About Monogamy Matters"). Tough topics like rape, sex work, queerness, STIs, sex and the military, and statutory rape get unapologetic coverage here, and though you won't agree with everything you read here, you'll certainly find that each and every essayist has been eloquent about saying their piece. Overall, an excellent collection, and worthy of the title "Best Sex Writing". I'll follow this series in the future!
Intelligent and Satisfying Writing about Sex (At Last!), January 4, 2012
By Donna G. Storey "writer and Japan scholar"
It seems every headline you see online or in the grocery store is a sexual come-on, promising the top ten secrets for superstud bedroom techniques or the inside scoop on the latest Hollywood nanny sex scandal. Invariably these articles fail to deliver anything but shallow clichés, leaving me to wonder why I wasted my time. Best Sex Writing 2012 is different. I could barely put the book down, and its power still lingers. The articles always made me think and often brought me to tears. Just as promised, the editors' wide variety of offerings--from humorous to poignant to fiery truth-telling--brilliantly reflect the complexity of sexuality today. And like all the best writing, these articles allowed me to empathize with people whose experiences are different from my own, yet also realize that these issues directly impact me. Joan Price's powerful memoir about the vitality of sex in our later years should be an inspiration to us all as we grow older. Hugo Schwyzer's unforgettable piece on the male desire to be wanted brought a new understanding of how both sexes are deprived of full personhood in our current sexual climate--and resulted in a very touching conversation with my husband. The fascinating variety of male desire, the dangers of shoddy journalism, the horrifying injustice around sexuality in our legal system, it's all here. I could go on and on with examples, but I'll conclude by saying I was very, very glad I read this book and would recommend it highly to anyone craving a thoughtful, provocative treatment of sexuality in our time.
sexy, powerful, hilarious & thought-provoking, January 3, 2012
By J. Kelley (Macon, Georgia)
I could not get enough of this book: exceptional writing, intimate conversations, and mind-expanding viewpoints on familiar controversial topics. A lot of sex scandals break all the time ... we're used to them by now. But these stories explain how the emotional hype and judgment over sex scandals keeps everyone from exploring sexuality safely and pleasurably. And in between serious stories about political cover-ups, careless and criminal language used in reporting, and criminalizing teen sexuality, there are stories that make you laugh, smile, feel sexy and dream about how great sex can be. Adrian Colesberry's piece is NOT to be missed. And "Love Grenade" by Lidia Yuknavitch was probably the hottest story I've read all year.
This anthology opens the door for more honest discussions around sexuality -- if we could talk more about the emotions, laws & the gray areas of sexuality, it wouldn't be so easy to judge & criminalize any part of sex that scares people.
Impressive collection of the year's best, December 31, 2011
By Robert T Bakie
Typically, I'm much more of reader of stories of sex (erotica anthologies) than stories about sex, but I've really enjoyed Best Sex Writing 2012 as evidenced by last night's speed read through it.
I guess I like to focus on the happy side of sex, without worrying about how someone's hang-ups somewhere are making someone's else's life miserable and so on. That's a pretty short-sighted view, I'll admit, and this book has plenty of content that doesn't fit that view at all. From the funny and honest "Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling by Adrian Colesberry" to Rachel Kramer Bussel's story on Sexting, it covers a lot of ground. Some stuff I'd caught as the year went on and some I'd missed out entirely.
Basically, it's a great book if you're any kind of sex geek, which, apparently, I am. :)
Eye-catching, informative, funny, entertaining, and sexy...best writing indeed, December 29, 2011
By Sam Chupp "sambearpoet"
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback)I tend to read collections such as this in a non-linear format, thumbing through the book until something catches my eye. Well, every piece featured in this book edited by Rachel Kramer Bussell and selected by Susie Bright has its own eye-catching hook. My empathy was aroused reading Amber Dawn's butch/femme memoir in "To All The Butches I Loved Between 1995 and 2005: An Open Letter about Selling Sex, Selling Out, and Soldiering On," realizing that I have heard similar regrets from vanilla, straight folk. The cold terror of a pre-Don't Ask, Don't Tell Navy was made clear in "An Unfortunate Discharge Early in my Naval Career" by Tim Elhajj - which just makes me even more glad for DADT's repeal. There are humorous pieces as well: Love Grenade by Lidia Yuknavitch made me laugh at its sheer honesty and ebuillience about young lesbian road trips, Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling by Adrian Colesberry was gentle and sweet and funny in a sympathetic manner. There are topical pieces, explications of complex subjects like elder sex and child pornography and writings of slices of life in the Latina Drag community and the New York Meat Packing District gay leather community.
I enjoyed reading the work of so many curated for my attention and I am now left wishing it were 2012 and I could start to read the best of 2013.
A sexy, cute and thoroughly engaging read!, December 29, 2011
By Patrick M. Whitehurst "Whitehurst"
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback)Rachel Kramer Bussel gauges hot blood with the accuracy of a thermometer. She's edited more sexy anthologies than almost anyone in the erotic literary scene. And she proves herself a true queen of the sexual word with her non-fiction effort - a smart collaboration with famed erotic author and "sex politician" Susie Bright. Bright chose the journalistic stories collected in the volume and penned a laugh out loud introduction that helps set the tone of the book. "Best Sex Writing 2012" counts as a marker in the world's sexual evolution, indicating the flavor and tempo of the planet's lustful ambitions at this particular point in history. Containing a number of non-fiction stories, some humorous, some sad, many sexy, the book ramps up society's sexual discourse to a new level, beginning with Amanda Marcotte's take on the SlutWalk and ending with Kevin Sampsell's hilarious "Pottymouth," the collection covers everything from transgender latinas, political sex scandals, religion and sex, dating with STDs and much more. I thought it would take me at least a week, with a rum and Coke in hand, to read the book. Instead it took only two nights. Lots of hot fun here.
Order Best Sex Writing 2012:
Amazon
Kindle (out January 10th - pre-order now)
BN.com
Nook (out January 17th - pre-order now)
Powell's
Books-a-Million
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore
Cleis Press
And thanks to everyone who participated in the BOGO offer! Stay tuned for more special offers.
But what I wanted to share were these reviews, which I think get at the heart of what the book's all about:
Five Stars - Fascinating, Engaging, Thorough, January 6, 2012
By mjims
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback)The 2012 edition of "Best Sex Writing" is one of the most thorough compilations of journalistic writing I have ever encountered. Rachel Kramer Bussel and Susie Bright have done an excellent job of selecting pieces that address the year's most newsworthy events, as well as issues that I knew nothing about until I read this collection. Pieces that I was surprised to find in this collection (and are well worth reading) in particular were: a discussion of a ballot initiative to ban circumcision in San Francisco; a thorough examination of the John Ensign sex scandal, and the involvement of current presidential candidate Rick Santorum therein; an article comparing and seeking out the correct definitions of `premature ejaculation'; a fascination explanation of conflicting age of consent and child pornography laws. The list goes on and on. Also included are a large number of personal essays, both humorous and profound. Among them are an open letter to butch lesbians from the point of view of a femme, a touching treatment of sex at 66 years old, and a user's manual for a particularly complicated penis.
This collection is essential reading for anyone interested in the current state of the American sexual landscape. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is worth reading cover to cover; every piece in this book has something to offer for the curious and open-minded.
Provacative, bold, and well-curated, January 5, 2012
By Victoria Bloom
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback)Erotic writer and anthology megaeditor Rachel Bussel and smart-ass sex activist Susie Bright have pulled together an intelligent, spirited, and thought-provoking collection of political and personal essays about sex in America today that makes you want to read in a private place. Not because you are embarrassed to read a sex book in public or because you're going to be aroused, but because you're going to want to talk back out loud to the strong-voiced authors of these no holds barred commentaries, either to yell "Hell, yeah" (for me, that was Camille Dodero's "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks"), argue back with the author (Marty Klein's "Criminalizing Circumcision"), cry a little (Joan Price's "Grief, Resilience, and my 66th Birthday Gift"), or just giggle outrageously (Susie Bright's "Why Lying About Monogamy Matters"). Tough topics like rape, sex work, queerness, STIs, sex and the military, and statutory rape get unapologetic coverage here, and though you won't agree with everything you read here, you'll certainly find that each and every essayist has been eloquent about saying their piece. Overall, an excellent collection, and worthy of the title "Best Sex Writing". I'll follow this series in the future!
Intelligent and Satisfying Writing about Sex (At Last!), January 4, 2012
By Donna G. Storey "writer and Japan scholar"
It seems every headline you see online or in the grocery store is a sexual come-on, promising the top ten secrets for superstud bedroom techniques or the inside scoop on the latest Hollywood nanny sex scandal. Invariably these articles fail to deliver anything but shallow clichés, leaving me to wonder why I wasted my time. Best Sex Writing 2012 is different. I could barely put the book down, and its power still lingers. The articles always made me think and often brought me to tears. Just as promised, the editors' wide variety of offerings--from humorous to poignant to fiery truth-telling--brilliantly reflect the complexity of sexuality today. And like all the best writing, these articles allowed me to empathize with people whose experiences are different from my own, yet also realize that these issues directly impact me. Joan Price's powerful memoir about the vitality of sex in our later years should be an inspiration to us all as we grow older. Hugo Schwyzer's unforgettable piece on the male desire to be wanted brought a new understanding of how both sexes are deprived of full personhood in our current sexual climate--and resulted in a very touching conversation with my husband. The fascinating variety of male desire, the dangers of shoddy journalism, the horrifying injustice around sexuality in our legal system, it's all here. I could go on and on with examples, but I'll conclude by saying I was very, very glad I read this book and would recommend it highly to anyone craving a thoughtful, provocative treatment of sexuality in our time.
sexy, powerful, hilarious & thought-provoking, January 3, 2012
By J. Kelley (Macon, Georgia)
I could not get enough of this book: exceptional writing, intimate conversations, and mind-expanding viewpoints on familiar controversial topics. A lot of sex scandals break all the time ... we're used to them by now. But these stories explain how the emotional hype and judgment over sex scandals keeps everyone from exploring sexuality safely and pleasurably. And in between serious stories about political cover-ups, careless and criminal language used in reporting, and criminalizing teen sexuality, there are stories that make you laugh, smile, feel sexy and dream about how great sex can be. Adrian Colesberry's piece is NOT to be missed. And "Love Grenade" by Lidia Yuknavitch was probably the hottest story I've read all year.
This anthology opens the door for more honest discussions around sexuality -- if we could talk more about the emotions, laws & the gray areas of sexuality, it wouldn't be so easy to judge & criminalize any part of sex that scares people.
Impressive collection of the year's best, December 31, 2011
By Robert T Bakie
Typically, I'm much more of reader of stories of sex (erotica anthologies) than stories about sex, but I've really enjoyed Best Sex Writing 2012 as evidenced by last night's speed read through it.
I guess I like to focus on the happy side of sex, without worrying about how someone's hang-ups somewhere are making someone's else's life miserable and so on. That's a pretty short-sighted view, I'll admit, and this book has plenty of content that doesn't fit that view at all. From the funny and honest "Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling by Adrian Colesberry" to Rachel Kramer Bussel's story on Sexting, it covers a lot of ground. Some stuff I'd caught as the year went on and some I'd missed out entirely.
Basically, it's a great book if you're any kind of sex geek, which, apparently, I am. :)
Eye-catching, informative, funny, entertaining, and sexy...best writing indeed, December 29, 2011
By Sam Chupp "sambearpoet"
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback)I tend to read collections such as this in a non-linear format, thumbing through the book until something catches my eye. Well, every piece featured in this book edited by Rachel Kramer Bussell and selected by Susie Bright has its own eye-catching hook. My empathy was aroused reading Amber Dawn's butch/femme memoir in "To All The Butches I Loved Between 1995 and 2005: An Open Letter about Selling Sex, Selling Out, and Soldiering On," realizing that I have heard similar regrets from vanilla, straight folk. The cold terror of a pre-Don't Ask, Don't Tell Navy was made clear in "An Unfortunate Discharge Early in my Naval Career" by Tim Elhajj - which just makes me even more glad for DADT's repeal. There are humorous pieces as well: Love Grenade by Lidia Yuknavitch made me laugh at its sheer honesty and ebuillience about young lesbian road trips, Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling by Adrian Colesberry was gentle and sweet and funny in a sympathetic manner. There are topical pieces, explications of complex subjects like elder sex and child pornography and writings of slices of life in the Latina Drag community and the New York Meat Packing District gay leather community.
I enjoyed reading the work of so many curated for my attention and I am now left wishing it were 2012 and I could start to read the best of 2013.
A sexy, cute and thoroughly engaging read!, December 29, 2011
By Patrick M. Whitehurst "Whitehurst"
This review is from: Best Sex Writing 2012: The State of Today's Sexual Culture (Paperback)Rachel Kramer Bussel gauges hot blood with the accuracy of a thermometer. She's edited more sexy anthologies than almost anyone in the erotic literary scene. And she proves herself a true queen of the sexual word with her non-fiction effort - a smart collaboration with famed erotic author and "sex politician" Susie Bright. Bright chose the journalistic stories collected in the volume and penned a laugh out loud introduction that helps set the tone of the book. "Best Sex Writing 2012" counts as a marker in the world's sexual evolution, indicating the flavor and tempo of the planet's lustful ambitions at this particular point in history. Containing a number of non-fiction stories, some humorous, some sad, many sexy, the book ramps up society's sexual discourse to a new level, beginning with Amanda Marcotte's take on the SlutWalk and ending with Kevin Sampsell's hilarious "Pottymouth," the collection covers everything from transgender latinas, political sex scandals, religion and sex, dating with STDs and much more. I thought it would take me at least a week, with a rum and Coke in hand, to read the book. Instead it took only two nights. Lots of hot fun here.
Order Best Sex Writing 2012:
Amazon
Kindle (out January 10th - pre-order now)
BN.com
Nook (out January 17th - pre-order now)
Powell's
Books-a-Million
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore
Cleis Press
January 6, 2012
Yes, cupcakes are everywhere I go, even ice skating!
Had fun ice skating in Bryant Park at Citi Pond today, screamed a lot, managed not to fall. And found cupcakes, but of course:
January 5, 2012
Free wine, cheese, haiku and single girls tonight at WORD in Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Firstly, Happy National Whipped Cream Day! Yes, it's today.
Join me tonight at 7 at 126 Franklin Street (G train) at WORD in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with Anna David and Beth Griffenhagen. Free wine and cheese and skin care products!
I just got Beth's book Haiku for the Single Girl and it's hysterical! I have SO many favorites, among them:
On my kitchen floor
We fucked loudly, more than once.
Take that, married friends!
I like trysts with guys
From other countries. It's like
Stamping your passport!
Dear Future Husband,
Hope you like a.m. blow jobs
And pizza. Call me!
Join me tonight at 7 at 126 Franklin Street (G train) at WORD in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with Anna David and Beth Griffenhagen. Free wine and cheese and skin care products!
I just got Beth's book Haiku for the Single Girl and it's hysterical! I have SO many favorites, among them:
On my kitchen floor
We fucked loudly, more than once.
Take that, married friends!
I like trysts with guys
From other countries. It's like
Stamping your passport!
Dear Future Husband,
Hope you like a.m. blow jobs
And pizza. Call me!
January 4, 2012
Best Sex Writing 2012 praise, sex diary, iPhone essay and photos
A few things to share (though for faster linkage, try my Facebook fan page, and yes I know that sounds pretentious, sorry, or add me Google+).
My new book, the one with the buy one get one free from me offer through this Friday, Best Sex Writing 2012, was named by Creative Loafing Atlanta "one of the top 10 most provocative books out this month."
This week's sex diary (I'm the editor): "The 'Terrible Girlfriend' Making the Most of Holiday Sex" and last week's in case I didn't link to it: "The Marketing Consultant Getting a Blowjob at His Parents' House for Christmas."
I wrote an essay for Open Salon called "My iPhone Photos (all 5,000 of Them), Myself" along with some of those photos, like this one:
And over at Romance Divas I'm the Author of the Month, with an accompanying interview about Irresistible: Erotic Romance for Couples, which will be published this month and I'm very excited about! Read 16 hot excerpts here.
And last but not least: 11 Cupcakes I Liked in 2011! and Top 10 Cupcakes Take the Cake posts of 2011.
s'mores cupcake
Samoa cupcakes
Andes mint cupcake
My new book, the one with the buy one get one free from me offer through this Friday, Best Sex Writing 2012, was named by Creative Loafing Atlanta "one of the top 10 most provocative books out this month."
This week's sex diary (I'm the editor): "The 'Terrible Girlfriend' Making the Most of Holiday Sex" and last week's in case I didn't link to it: "The Marketing Consultant Getting a Blowjob at His Parents' House for Christmas."
I wrote an essay for Open Salon called "My iPhone Photos (all 5,000 of Them), Myself" along with some of those photos, like this one:
And over at Romance Divas I'm the Author of the Month, with an accompanying interview about Irresistible: Erotic Romance for Couples, which will be published this month and I'm very excited about! Read 16 hot excerpts here.
And last but not least: 11 Cupcakes I Liked in 2011! and Top 10 Cupcakes Take the Cake posts of 2011.
s'mores cupcake
Samoa cupcakes
Andes mint cupcake
January 2, 2012
Crazy Januaries
We're only two days in to 2012, three if you are counting the 41 minutes that have just passed. I sortof skipped out on any New Year's festivities in favor of digging in to the work, which seems to create more of itself the more I tackle it, or maybe my faulty memory and reminder systems just clue me in to what's there. All I know is there is So Much and I hesitate to say it's anything other than a blessing; it is, totally. To think otherwise would be to fall into the same traps I did in 2010 and 2011, to believe I'm not worth anything worth having, and I've got the non-essays and non-books to show for it.
I want this year to be different. I want to enter it believing I can sustain myself, financially and emotionally and spiritually. I don't just want to end the year being proud, but each day. I don't want to have the regrets I started out last year with. Last year kicked off with Crazy January, which set the tone for the rest of the year. I spent so much of 2011 trying to remake and rearrange and recast that month of madness. I wanted to undo it, erase it, but I couldn't. Maybe that's the lesson I needed to learn but that took me many months more than it should have. You can't undo. Or unhear. Or unsee. Or unfeel. Or maybe you can, which presents a whole other question of whether we should want to.
That trip seems like so long ago, from another lifetime, when I was so worried about time. I wound up in an extraordinary (to me) sunny dispensary-filled Los Angeles with a babbling baby and new friends and all I could think about was the days I was "missing" at work, thanks to the snow. That's such a warped way of looking at time, but a necessary one when your time is allotted to someone else. Now that my time is allotted just to me, the days are different. They start out full of promise and I forget that hours have passed with my empty cup of coffee and a rotating case of neighbors. I realize I've been so deep in cupcakeland I've opened up dozens of tabs and ignored the stories waiting so patiently for my attention. Word doesn't jump up and down or otherwise call out to me like some of my other apps. It knows I know it's there. I'm not sure if I wish it were more blingy, flashing lights and reminders, luring me in.
So now it's 51 minutes into the third day of the year and those same documents are waiting for me, a little less patiently. One is about shame, where there's so much to say yet it's all equally scary, which is my half-assed mock excuse trying to pretty up my procrastination. Does it count as good writing if you write something that might sacrifice future writing jobs because of what you reveal? Others are stories that are so close to their ends, so close but not quite there. I'm afraid of those too. What if I look at them and have no entry point to wherever I was when I started? I know I have to go back, to dive in and even if it means tricking myself into a few words that sound awful and horrid and disjointed, to write them anyway. I know, yet I so rarely, even now when everything is depending on it, do I. That's my "job," I suppose, in 2012, to get there, to get back to the place where the words are what matters, not the outcome.
Maybe this January is just as crazy as the last one, but it's a more self-controlled craziness, one that starts and ends with me, here. It's not being told Oprah is evil or being promised a ride and instead offered kisses or standing in a hallway with bare legs and a pounding heart. It's a lot closer to home, literally and figuratively. It's sitting under a blanket and listening to cars going by. It's knowing what the human cost of failure is, the way it haunts your dreams, the way it is like a phantom limb, the almost-book, the chopped-off-essay. It's realizing there's a strong possibility that this daily practice, this digging down, this reckoning of 2012 rather than running away of 2011 is maybe, just maybe, not crazy at all, but the real path to those endings, happy or not.
I want this year to be different. I want to enter it believing I can sustain myself, financially and emotionally and spiritually. I don't just want to end the year being proud, but each day. I don't want to have the regrets I started out last year with. Last year kicked off with Crazy January, which set the tone for the rest of the year. I spent so much of 2011 trying to remake and rearrange and recast that month of madness. I wanted to undo it, erase it, but I couldn't. Maybe that's the lesson I needed to learn but that took me many months more than it should have. You can't undo. Or unhear. Or unsee. Or unfeel. Or maybe you can, which presents a whole other question of whether we should want to.
That trip seems like so long ago, from another lifetime, when I was so worried about time. I wound up in an extraordinary (to me) sunny dispensary-filled Los Angeles with a babbling baby and new friends and all I could think about was the days I was "missing" at work, thanks to the snow. That's such a warped way of looking at time, but a necessary one when your time is allotted to someone else. Now that my time is allotted just to me, the days are different. They start out full of promise and I forget that hours have passed with my empty cup of coffee and a rotating case of neighbors. I realize I've been so deep in cupcakeland I've opened up dozens of tabs and ignored the stories waiting so patiently for my attention. Word doesn't jump up and down or otherwise call out to me like some of my other apps. It knows I know it's there. I'm not sure if I wish it were more blingy, flashing lights and reminders, luring me in.
So now it's 51 minutes into the third day of the year and those same documents are waiting for me, a little less patiently. One is about shame, where there's so much to say yet it's all equally scary, which is my half-assed mock excuse trying to pretty up my procrastination. Does it count as good writing if you write something that might sacrifice future writing jobs because of what you reveal? Others are stories that are so close to their ends, so close but not quite there. I'm afraid of those too. What if I look at them and have no entry point to wherever I was when I started? I know I have to go back, to dive in and even if it means tricking myself into a few words that sound awful and horrid and disjointed, to write them anyway. I know, yet I so rarely, even now when everything is depending on it, do I. That's my "job," I suppose, in 2012, to get there, to get back to the place where the words are what matters, not the outcome.
Maybe this January is just as crazy as the last one, but it's a more self-controlled craziness, one that starts and ends with me, here. It's not being told Oprah is evil or being promised a ride and instead offered kisses or standing in a hallway with bare legs and a pounding heart. It's a lot closer to home, literally and figuratively. It's sitting under a blanket and listening to cars going by. It's knowing what the human cost of failure is, the way it haunts your dreams, the way it is like a phantom limb, the almost-book, the chopped-off-essay. It's realizing there's a strong possibility that this daily practice, this digging down, this reckoning of 2012 rather than running away of 2011 is maybe, just maybe, not crazy at all, but the real path to those endings, happy or not.
One of my favorite photos of me from 2011
Until I have time to post more here (though I am posting lots over at Cupcakes Take the Cake and hopefully will have some new writing to share soon), I'll give you one of my favorite photos from 2011, taken by Violet Blue, who you should visit at Tiny Nibbles! This was taken at Booksmith and I'm hoping to come back to the Bay Area and do a little West Coast tour through Seattle and Portland too - stay tuned!
January 1, 2012
Buy one get one free, and signed: special sex book offer, this week only!
Happy New Year! As a special 2012 offer, this week only, buy my new book
Best Sex Writing 2012
and I'll send you any of my Cleis Press anthologies in print free, and signed! Offer good through Friday, January 6th, midnight EST, US only. You can preorder the ebook or purchase the print book from any store selling it, or directly from the publisher, Cleis Press (some helpful links are below); send proof of purchase to bestsexwriting2012 at gmail.com with "BOGO" in the subject and let me know which of my books you'd like, along with your mailing address and, if it's not you, who to make it out to (they're all listed at the bottom, but Crossdressing and Bottoms Up are temporarily out of print). I'll send you a signed copy by the end of January! If this sounds like a good deal to you, I'd love it if you'd let your fellow book readers/sex nerds know. Thanks!
Purchase Best Sex Writing 2012:
Amazon
Kindle (out January 10th - pre-order now)
BN.com
Nook (out January 17th - pre-order now)
Powell's
Books-a-Million
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore
Cleis Press
Table of contents:
When the Sex Guru Met the Sex Panic Susie Bright
Beyond the Headlines: Real Sex Secrets Rachel Kramer Bussel (see below)
Sluts, Walking Amanda Marcotte
Criminalizing Circumcision: Self-Hatred as Public Policy Marty Klein
The Worship of Female Pleasure Tracy Clark-Flory
Sex, Lies, and Hush Money Katherine Spillar
The Dynamics of Sexual Acceleration Chris Sweeney
Atheists Do It Better: Why Leaving Religion Leads to Better Sex Greta Christina
To All the Butches I Loved between 1995 and 2005: An Open Letter about Selling Sex, Selling Out, and Soldiering On Amber Dawn
I Want You to Want Me Hugo Schwyzer
Grief, Resilience, and My 66th Birthday Gift Joan Price
Latina Glitter Rachel Rabbit White
Dating with an STD Lynn Harris
You Can Have Sex With Them; Just Don't Photograph Them Radley Balko
An Unfortunate Discharge Early in My Naval Career Tim Elhajj
Guys Who Like Fat Chicks Camille Dodero
The Careless Language of Sexual Violence. Roxane Gay
Men Who "Buy Sex" Commit More Crimes: Newsweek, Trafficking, and the Lie of Fabricated Sex Studies Thomas Roche
Taking Liberties Tracy Quan
Why Lying about Monogamy Matters Susie Bright
Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture Abby Tallmer
Penis Gagging, BDSM, and Rape Fantasy: The Truth about Kinky Sexting Rachel Kramer Bussel
Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling Adrian Colesberry
The Continuing Criminalization of Teen Sex Ellen Friedrichs
Love Grenade Lidia Yuknavitch
Pottymouth Kevin Sampsell
Beyond the Headlines: Real Sex SecretsRachel Kramer Bussel
I think about sex a lot—every day, in fact. I don't mean that in an "I want to get it on" way, but in a "What are other people up to?" way. I'm a voyeur, first and foremost, and this extends to my writing. I'm naturally curious about what other people think about sex, from their intimate lives to how their sexuality translates to the larger world.
With the Best Sex Writing series, I get to merge my voyeuristic self with my journalism leanings, and peek into the lives, public and private, of those around me. This volume in the series doesn't pull any punches; the authors have strong opinions, whether it's Marty Klein sticking up for circumcision in the face of an effort in California to criminalize it, Roxane Gay taking the New York Times to task for its treatment of an 11-year-old rape victim, Thomas Roche calling out Newsweek for its shoddy reporting about prostitution, or Radley Balko examining a child pornography charge.
There are also more personal takes on sex here that go beyond facile headlines or easy answers, that aren't about making a point so much as exploring what real-life sex is like in all its beauty, drama, and messiness. Whether it's Amber Dawn and Tracy Quan sharing the truth about their lives as sex workers, or Hugo Schwyzer explaining the damage our culture does to men with its mythology about their innate sexual prowess, or Tim Elhajj's first-person account of pre–don't ask, don't tell military life, these authors show you a side of sex that you rarely see.
What you are about to read are stories, all true, some reported on the streets and some recorded from lived experience, from the front lines of sexuality. They deal with topics you read about in the headlines, and some topics you may never have considered. They are but a small sampling of the many kinds of sexual stories I received in the submission process.
Part of why I think sex never goes out of style, as a topic or activity, is that it is so very complex. There is no one way to do it, nor two, nor three. Sex can be mundane or mind-blowing, and for those who are trying to get from the former to the latter, there is a plethora of resources but also a host of misinformation purveyed by snake oil salesmen.
In Best Sex Writing 2012, you will read about subjects as diverse as "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks," the care an handling of a man's penis, and the glamour and glitter of the Latina drag world. Abby Tallmer, telling a story set in a very specific time and place—the gay leather clubs of New York's Meatpacking District in the 1990s—manages to capture why sexual community is so vital, and why, I'd venture, those who lack such a community wind up mired in sex scandals. Tallmer writes, "These clubs gave us a place to feel that we were no longer outsiders—or rather, they made us feel that it was better to be outsiders, together, than to force ourselves to be just like everybody else."
I'm especially pleased to present stories about the kinds of sexuality and sexual issues that don't always make the headlines, from Lynn Harris's investigation of dating with an STD to Hugo Schwyzer's moving look at men's need to be sexually desired and what happens when boys and men are told that that wanting to be desired is wrong. Joan Price gives some insight into elder sexuality, as well as into what it's like to purchase the services of a sexual healer. The topic of elder sex is often treated with horror or disgust, or the focus is placed on concern over STDs—which is a worthy topic this series has explored before. But Price, author of two books on elder sexuality (her piece here is excerpted from Naked At Our Age), obliges the reader to see the humanity behind her age. She writes, "My birthday erotic massage from a gentle stranger changed something in me. It showed me that I was still a responsive, fully sexual woman, getting ready to emerge from the cocoon of mourning into reexperiencing life. I realized that one big reason I ended up on Sunyata's massage table was so that I could get ready to reenter the world."
Not all, or even most, of the reading here is "easy." Much of it is challenging and heartbreaking. Roxane Gay's media criticism centers on a New York Times story about a Texas gang rape and why "The Careless Language of Sexual Violence" distorts our understanding about rape. You may think such a piece doesn't belong in an anthology with this title, but until we rid our world of sexual violence so that everyone can freely express themselves sexually, we need to hear searing indictments of media or those in power who ignore injustice.
As an editor, I'm not only looking for pieces that I agree with, or identify with, but for work that illuminates something new about a topic that's been around forever. The authors here dig deep, challenging both mainstream ideas about sex and a few sex-positive sacred cows. Ellen Friedrichs sticks up for the right of teenagers to be sexual without throwing parents, school boards, and other adults into a sex panic. Amanda Marcotte explores the fast-moving SlutWalk protest phenomenon, which has garnered criticisms from various sides, from being futile to only appealing to white women.
I will quote Abby Tallmer again, because I don't hear the words "sexual liberation" often enough these days. What moves me most about her piece is that you don't have to be a New Yorker, queer, leather, or kinky to understand what she's talking about. I'm 100 percent with her when she writes, "Back then, many of us believed that gay liberation was rooted in sexual liberation, and we believed that liberation was rooted in the right—no, the need—to claim ownership of our bodies, to experience and celebrate sexuality in as many forms as possible, limited only by our time and imagination." I hope this applies in 2012 just as much as it did in the 1970s, 80s, or 90s.
The truth is, I could have filled a book twice this size. Every day, stories are breaking, and being told, about sex—some wondrous, some heartbreaking. This is not a one-handed read, but it is a book that will stimulate your largest sex organ: your brain. Whether you live and breathe sex, you are curious about sex, or somewhere in between, I hope Best Sex Writing 2012 informs, incites, and inspires you. I hope it inspires you to write and tell your own sexual story, because I believe the more we talk about the many ways sex moves us, the more we work toward a world where sexual shame, ignorance, homophobia, and violence are diminished.
I'd love to hear your thoughts about this book and what you think are the hot topics around sex. Feel free to email me at rachel at bestsexwriting.com with your comments and suggestions for next year's anthology.
Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York
November 2011
Purchase Best Sex Writing 2012:
Amazon
Kindle (out January 10th - pre-order now)
BN.com
Nook (out January 17th - pre-order now)
Powell's
Books-a-Million
IndieBound (find your local independent bookstore
Cleis Press
Table of contents:
When the Sex Guru Met the Sex Panic Susie Bright
Beyond the Headlines: Real Sex Secrets Rachel Kramer Bussel (see below)
Sluts, Walking Amanda Marcotte
Criminalizing Circumcision: Self-Hatred as Public Policy Marty Klein
The Worship of Female Pleasure Tracy Clark-Flory
Sex, Lies, and Hush Money Katherine Spillar
The Dynamics of Sexual Acceleration Chris Sweeney
Atheists Do It Better: Why Leaving Religion Leads to Better Sex Greta Christina
To All the Butches I Loved between 1995 and 2005: An Open Letter about Selling Sex, Selling Out, and Soldiering On Amber Dawn
I Want You to Want Me Hugo Schwyzer
Grief, Resilience, and My 66th Birthday Gift Joan Price
Latina Glitter Rachel Rabbit White
Dating with an STD Lynn Harris
You Can Have Sex With Them; Just Don't Photograph Them Radley Balko
An Unfortunate Discharge Early in My Naval Career Tim Elhajj
Guys Who Like Fat Chicks Camille Dodero
The Careless Language of Sexual Violence. Roxane Gay
Men Who "Buy Sex" Commit More Crimes: Newsweek, Trafficking, and the Lie of Fabricated Sex Studies Thomas Roche
Taking Liberties Tracy Quan
Why Lying about Monogamy Matters Susie Bright
Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture Abby Tallmer
Penis Gagging, BDSM, and Rape Fantasy: The Truth about Kinky Sexting Rachel Kramer Bussel
Adrian's Penis: Care and Handling Adrian Colesberry
The Continuing Criminalization of Teen Sex Ellen Friedrichs
Love Grenade Lidia Yuknavitch
Pottymouth Kevin Sampsell
Beyond the Headlines: Real Sex SecretsRachel Kramer Bussel
I think about sex a lot—every day, in fact. I don't mean that in an "I want to get it on" way, but in a "What are other people up to?" way. I'm a voyeur, first and foremost, and this extends to my writing. I'm naturally curious about what other people think about sex, from their intimate lives to how their sexuality translates to the larger world.
With the Best Sex Writing series, I get to merge my voyeuristic self with my journalism leanings, and peek into the lives, public and private, of those around me. This volume in the series doesn't pull any punches; the authors have strong opinions, whether it's Marty Klein sticking up for circumcision in the face of an effort in California to criminalize it, Roxane Gay taking the New York Times to task for its treatment of an 11-year-old rape victim, Thomas Roche calling out Newsweek for its shoddy reporting about prostitution, or Radley Balko examining a child pornography charge.
There are also more personal takes on sex here that go beyond facile headlines or easy answers, that aren't about making a point so much as exploring what real-life sex is like in all its beauty, drama, and messiness. Whether it's Amber Dawn and Tracy Quan sharing the truth about their lives as sex workers, or Hugo Schwyzer explaining the damage our culture does to men with its mythology about their innate sexual prowess, or Tim Elhajj's first-person account of pre–don't ask, don't tell military life, these authors show you a side of sex that you rarely see.
What you are about to read are stories, all true, some reported on the streets and some recorded from lived experience, from the front lines of sexuality. They deal with topics you read about in the headlines, and some topics you may never have considered. They are but a small sampling of the many kinds of sexual stories I received in the submission process.
Part of why I think sex never goes out of style, as a topic or activity, is that it is so very complex. There is no one way to do it, nor two, nor three. Sex can be mundane or mind-blowing, and for those who are trying to get from the former to the latter, there is a plethora of resources but also a host of misinformation purveyed by snake oil salesmen.
In Best Sex Writing 2012, you will read about subjects as diverse as "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks," the care an handling of a man's penis, and the glamour and glitter of the Latina drag world. Abby Tallmer, telling a story set in a very specific time and place—the gay leather clubs of New York's Meatpacking District in the 1990s—manages to capture why sexual community is so vital, and why, I'd venture, those who lack such a community wind up mired in sex scandals. Tallmer writes, "These clubs gave us a place to feel that we were no longer outsiders—or rather, they made us feel that it was better to be outsiders, together, than to force ourselves to be just like everybody else."
I'm especially pleased to present stories about the kinds of sexuality and sexual issues that don't always make the headlines, from Lynn Harris's investigation of dating with an STD to Hugo Schwyzer's moving look at men's need to be sexually desired and what happens when boys and men are told that that wanting to be desired is wrong. Joan Price gives some insight into elder sexuality, as well as into what it's like to purchase the services of a sexual healer. The topic of elder sex is often treated with horror or disgust, or the focus is placed on concern over STDs—which is a worthy topic this series has explored before. But Price, author of two books on elder sexuality (her piece here is excerpted from Naked At Our Age), obliges the reader to see the humanity behind her age. She writes, "My birthday erotic massage from a gentle stranger changed something in me. It showed me that I was still a responsive, fully sexual woman, getting ready to emerge from the cocoon of mourning into reexperiencing life. I realized that one big reason I ended up on Sunyata's massage table was so that I could get ready to reenter the world."
Not all, or even most, of the reading here is "easy." Much of it is challenging and heartbreaking. Roxane Gay's media criticism centers on a New York Times story about a Texas gang rape and why "The Careless Language of Sexual Violence" distorts our understanding about rape. You may think such a piece doesn't belong in an anthology with this title, but until we rid our world of sexual violence so that everyone can freely express themselves sexually, we need to hear searing indictments of media or those in power who ignore injustice.
As an editor, I'm not only looking for pieces that I agree with, or identify with, but for work that illuminates something new about a topic that's been around forever. The authors here dig deep, challenging both mainstream ideas about sex and a few sex-positive sacred cows. Ellen Friedrichs sticks up for the right of teenagers to be sexual without throwing parents, school boards, and other adults into a sex panic. Amanda Marcotte explores the fast-moving SlutWalk protest phenomenon, which has garnered criticisms from various sides, from being futile to only appealing to white women.
I will quote Abby Tallmer again, because I don't hear the words "sexual liberation" often enough these days. What moves me most about her piece is that you don't have to be a New Yorker, queer, leather, or kinky to understand what she's talking about. I'm 100 percent with her when she writes, "Back then, many of us believed that gay liberation was rooted in sexual liberation, and we believed that liberation was rooted in the right—no, the need—to claim ownership of our bodies, to experience and celebrate sexuality in as many forms as possible, limited only by our time and imagination." I hope this applies in 2012 just as much as it did in the 1970s, 80s, or 90s.
The truth is, I could have filled a book twice this size. Every day, stories are breaking, and being told, about sex—some wondrous, some heartbreaking. This is not a one-handed read, but it is a book that will stimulate your largest sex organ: your brain. Whether you live and breathe sex, you are curious about sex, or somewhere in between, I hope Best Sex Writing 2012 informs, incites, and inspires you. I hope it inspires you to write and tell your own sexual story, because I believe the more we talk about the many ways sex moves us, the more we work toward a world where sexual shame, ignorance, homophobia, and violence are diminished.
I'd love to hear your thoughts about this book and what you think are the hot topics around sex. Feel free to email me at rachel at bestsexwriting.com with your comments and suggestions for next year's anthology.
Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York
November 2011
December 31, 2011
So long, 2011
I'm immersed in words, excited about a big day/month at Cupcakes Take the Cake, and looking forward to 2012. This year has come full circle (cue the Suzanne Vega), and I'm grateful to be in an infinitely better space than I was a year ago. I never want to repeat the lowest moments of this year, yet I have to grapple with and learn from them so I'm not doomed to repeat them. 2011 grew me up in some vital ways, and I'm truly grateful for that. I had to think long and hard about what I want, what I don't, what (and who) I covet and why, about failure and success, both of which I experienced, about love and loss and faith and courage and ambition. I have an endless amount left to learn, but I am doing the daily work of making the best choices, of treating others as I'd wish to be treated, of living by the Serenity Prayer, though I'm still stubborn as hell about the things I can't change. So be it. HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone!
A friend's awesome holiday card (it says "cause we're having a blast!" on the other side, along with adorable photos)
Me looking at the bright side:
As seen in the window of Pas de Deux:
And the last two cupcakes I ate in 2011; click here for my review!
A friend's awesome holiday card (it says "cause we're having a blast!" on the other side, along with adorable photos)
Me looking at the bright side:
As seen in the window of Pas de Deux:
And the last two cupcakes I ate in 2011; click here for my review!
