Rachel Kramer Bussel's Blog, page 129

Get your orgasm on with audio erotica!

Like to listen? Check out 25 stories of female orgasm narrated by Lucy Malone, available now for your listening pleasure from Audible.com. Want a taste of what's in the book? Read my story "Belted" for free (that one is very kinky, but the stories truly range all over the place).



Introduction: Let Me Count the Ways…

The Waiting Game Elizabeth Coldwell
What's in a Name? Jacqueline Applebee
Chemistry Velvet Moore
The Chair Lolita Lopez
Fixing the Pipes Susie Hara
Share Dusty Horn
Hurdles Rowan Elizabeth
Seeing Stars Louisa Harte
Old Faithful Sylvia Lowry
Paying It Forward Kendra Wayne
The Big O Donna George Storey
Moon Tantra Teresa Noelle Roberts
Feet on the Dashboard Rachel Green
Frosting First Lana Fox
All She Wanted Andrea Dale
Making Shapes Lily Harlem
Rapture Angela Caperton
Belted Rachel Kramer Bussel
Rise and Shine Heidi Champa
Taking the Reins Vanessa Vaughn
First Date with the Dom Noelle Keely
Animal Inside Neve Black
The London O Justine Elyot
Fight Charlotte Stein
Switch Jade Melisande

Introduction

Let Me Count The Ways...

Orgasm: like sex, it's one word that means many different things to many different people. For many women, it's the center of their sexual life, a daily occurrence; something to look forward to, experiment with. For some it means a gushing rush of pleasure, for others it's a little wave they delight in cresting.

Every woman who orgasms may describe it differently.

Yet there are many women, myself included, who find orgasm not so easy to achieve much of the time (yes, it's true--I love sex, and get turned on, but coming is a bit more complex for me). In "Hurdles," Rowan Elizabeth writes of such a character: "I can't win this. And it's my hang-up, too. I feel like there's something I'm just not doing right. Maybe if I tighten my legs a little more or squeeze my eyes shut harder, then we'd get there together."

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines orgasm as "intense or paroxysmal excitement; especially: an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female." It comes from the Latin and Greek (orgasmus/orgasmos), from organ "to grow ripe, be lustful." I like that description, though what it leaves out is that for women, orgasm can stretch beyond the boundaries of ejaculation, can continue on and on, can be drawn out for as long as the woman (or her partner) wants to indulge in the experience.

In Lolita Lopez's perfectly kinky story, "The Chair," sex toys and submission go hand in hand with orgasm for the protagonist. "Lily's orgasms changed from separate events to one long and unending oscillation of bliss." Her "punishment" at the hands of Cal is one she's very, very happy to absorb.

There are countless articles and books telling you how to have a bigger, better orgasm. I don't want to add to the clamor of the voices saying, You must orgasm now. Instead, I want Orgasmic to be a fictional showcase of some of the reasons, methods and delights women bring to their orgasms. I want these red-hot stories to help get you warmed up, primed, aroused. I want them to make you squirm with desire, identification, curiosity. I want you to read these stories aloud to a lover…or someone you wish were your lover.

I did my best to capture an array of big (and little) Os, moments where the world feels like it's exploding in your body, orgasms that rock more than just your world. These stories capture the ferocity, intensity and power of women's orgasms, however they're achieved. I couldn't include every way women come in this book, or it would be much longer than it is now, but I wanted to include a varied look at what gets women off, which means it's not always a man or another woman, or even a machine that does the trick. Vanessa Vaughn taps into a classic route with "Taking the Reins:"

As I straddle the seat and slowly lower myself down, I feel a familiar tingle of excitement deep inside. I can sense the monstrous size of the body between my thighs, the large chest expanding and contracting broadly with each breath. The smell of fresh, conditioned leather smothers my sensesæwell, that, and also the slight musky tinge of sweat. It is a raw smell mixed with rich, dark dirt.

Speaking of orgasm how-tos, in "The Big O" by Donna George Storey, she both skewers the omnipresent women's magazine sex advice and adds a saucy twist as her protagonist puts into practice "The Sexercise Prescription: A Stronger Secret You in Six Weeks."

The women in Orgasmic climax from tantric sex, role-playing, piercing, G-spot play, sex toys and even chemistry--the scientific kind. They delight in food, God and handymen. They create their own objects of pleasure; they spy, tease, obey, command, argue, submit. Some are shy about their orgasms and some are bold as can be.

They come, and come and come again, and they do it in some of the hottest, most creative ways you can think of. Visit me at orgasmicbook.wordpress.com if you just can't get enough…orgasms, that is.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

If you're not an audio person, here's some other ways to purchase it:

Amazon.com.

Kindle edition

Barnes & Noble (Bn.com)

Borders

IndieBound (search for your local independent bookstore!)

Cleis Press

Happy National Peanut Butter Day!

I'm a whirlwind of writing, editing, blogging and trying not to have a panic attack as I get ready to escape for 9 days. For anyone jealous of my Hawaii trip, after that I head to Milwaukee, where I'm hosting an erotic writing workshop February 9th, appearing on live TV, and attending Iron Cupcake Milwaukee, not to mention trying to stay warm, so, you know, hot then cold.

Today is National Peanut Butter Day! Celebrate with some cupcake photos I took (all these were absolutely delicious) and click through for more. Food holidays are now my life. Not sure I'd give up erotica entirely if I could cupcake blog full time, but I would totally do it (hint hint, rich patrons!). Just kidding...I love the mix of things I get to do, but these days cupcakes are taking priority. Hoping to rekindle my love of writing for the pure satisfaction of it while on vacation. I truly love writing but these days every time I sit down to do it I think things like: No one will ever want this. You won't finish, you know it, don't fucking bother. You suck. This is a dumb idea. You don't have time to get to the end, so don't start. This idea's been done before. You get the idea. I've missed out on endless opportunities by listening to those awful voices, so I'm trying to set them on fire and kill them for real, finally, but it's not an overnight process. I have my wishlists, and am gonna keep trying until my writing wishes come true, or I make new wishes.


maybe I've been too corrupted, but the inside cupcake shot always looks way too food porn-like to me

Loved this tweet

Thanks to everyone for reading me @raquelita and here and anywhere else. There are a million reasons to have doubts and I so often have let and continue to let those doubts derail me from writing, but I'm trying to put a stop to that!

What happens when I crack under pressure, birthday and live TV edition

Here's an essay, "Thoughts About Panic Attaking" at The Frisky, about my pre-birthday, pre-live TV panic attack week in November. There's a related essay in the works, because I'm still working on figuring out how not to collapse under pressure. This week, it's getting through until Friday and getting on a plane and going far away. Sometimes that's the only answer. And at least I now know how to get to Cherry Lane Theatre! Hopefully the Erin Courtney reading I missed will happen again.

Two days before my birthday last November, I got a facial at my favorite spa. I lay down on the bed, with the paper gown tucked around me, and the technician went about working her magic on my pores. She put a mask on my face and left me to relax for 10 minutes, with cucumbers resting gently over my eyes, the lights dimmed, and soothing music playing. The setting should've been everything I needed to stay calm, and it was … for about two minutes. Then my phone beeped, and I saw a text from a friend telling me to check her Twitter stream ASAP. Of course, I was curious, but I couldn't get a signal, and spent the rest of the "rest period" feeling antsy, continually picking up my phone to see if suddenly service had been restored. The serenity that I look for when I go to the spa, the chance to shut off my mind while getting my skin rejuvenated, wasn't there, because all I could think about was when I could get out of the room to check my phone.

Later that afternoon, I decided to see a free play reading at a theater in the West Village. The playwright and I have mutual friends and I loved the idea of getting to do something for free that I couldn't have done at my day job. I was running late, as usual, and chose the subway stop nearest where I thought the theater was. Then I found myself walking this way and that way, cursing to myself and then to anyone in the street as I realized I wasn't going to be able to find the theater. I felt so stupid, because I've lived in New York since 1996; I should know where I'm going. Even though the West Village is notorious for its winding, hard to navigate streets, I was sure it was my fault. I took my iPhone and slapped it hard against my inner arm, the sting a reminder of my error, a physical manifestation of my anger at myself.

Read the whole thing

Want to read: by Meredith Maran

You don't know how hard I'm resisting, and might still fail to resist, ordering the paperback version of A Theory of Small Earthquakes, the first novel by Meredith Maran, whose nonfiction I've been so impressed by over the years. It's available now from Amazon, or waiting til next week to get the Nook version, which will save me money and something to pack. Will probably wait so it's one less thing I own, which is always a good thing (I know, who invaded my brain and wrote that?).



Official description:

In her ten previous nonfiction books, Meredith Maran has trained her journalistic eye on the subtle dance between the political and the personal. Now Maran brings her provocative gaze to her debut novel – a family story spanning two decades, set against the social, political, and geological upheavals of the Bay Area. Eager to escape her damaging past and chart her own future, Alison Rose is drawn to Zoe, a free-spirited artist who offers emotional stability and a love outside the norm. After many happy years together, the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake deepens fissures in the two women's relationship, and Alison leaves Zoe for a new, "normal" life with a man. Alison's son is the outcome of both of these complicated relationships, and the three parents strive to create a life together that will test the boundaries of love and family in changing times.

Fair warning: not replying for 9 days starting Friday!

I won't be responding to email too much from January 27th-February 6th though it will be checked and if something is urgent you can put "Urgent" in the subject line and it will be answered as soon as I can. I am learning a new vocabulary word: VACATION! I'll still be doing daily cupcake blogging and am doing a meetup with free cupcakes Tuesday, January 31st in Honolulu (details ASAP) but am otherwise "off." If I can manage it. Big fucking if. But this year is all about embracing the new and leaving behind the old. I truly cannot remember the last time I took a proper vacation, despite my incessant travel. The next 6 or so trips are all either work or family - Milwaukee, Austin, Chicago, Virginia, Portland (reading at Powell's April 6th), Seattle (reading at Elliott Bay April 7th), San Francisco (dates TBA). And, of course, Bermuda. We'll be making lots of announcements soon but tickets are on sale for our Cupcake Cruise August 19th-26th (cupcake party on the beach, anyone?). But I'm pretty overwhelmed and flailing already, so I need this break very badly. I mistreated myself and my career horrifically and it's time I remind myself that I want to be a writer, not just pretend I do.

Free cupcakes tonight!

Free cupcakes tonight 6-8 at Madame X for our cupcake cruise talk! Details here, hope to see you there. And announcement ASAP about free cupcakes with me in Honolulu!

here but not here

Last year, upon reading about her in Mistresses: A History of The Other Woman by Elizabeth Abbott, I bought Lillian Ross's memoir Here But Not Here: My Life With William Shawn and The New Yorker . I thought that perhaps I could learn from Ross how to go about loving a brilliant, powerful, larger-than-life man, to live in a parallel world to the official, recognized, lauded, recognized one, and to do so without resenting anyone or anything. I thought that Ross could teach me some secret that seemed to be eluding me, some way of existing in that crazy world that would allow me to live in that privileged space, to welcome its unconventional nature, to revel in it, even.

I wound up putting the book down, now somewhere buried alongside other book carcasses I've abandoned but that phrase, "here but not here," is one that makes sense to me. I so wanted to be there, to be wanted, desired, special, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't as certain points. I was, and that feeling was even better than being high. It was its own high, one that, indeed, made me hallucinate. I would look out a window and swear I could see us there, the images so vivid in my head, so bright and alive, I actually experienced disorientation.

The "here" part I didn't have trouble with, when it applied to me, when I got the full force of that attention, got swallowed up in it, at whatever hour, wherever and however it happened. I love it when I was "here," or rather "there," with him. It was the "but not" that tripped me up, that still does, the but not of walking through the cherry blossoms, such an extreme blaring of nature's beauty, the ones I was told were waiting for me. If they were, they were the only ones who were, and the emptiness of that "but not" pulled at me.

I think I put Ross's book down in part because I realized early on that while she may have had things to teach me, none of them were an exact roadmap on how to live that life, how to live with all the "but not"s, the silences, the empty spaces, literal and figurative. The gap between fantasy and reality, between greed and selflessness, between me and her. I was so hyperaware of their "here"s, which assaulted me at every turn, so bright and bold and in my face. So oppressively omnipresent that they couldn't help but overshadow any momentary claim I could make, any foolish, fleeting notions I had about what I could offer. The answer, it turned out, was nothing, and it's taken me a while, and I won't say I'm even all the way there yet, to realize that maybe I couldn't offer a single thing to that relationship, but that doesn't mean I can't offer anything to another one. I kept trying to retrace my steps, to figure out my fatal flaws, the things I could work on to become more solid, more real, more "here."

I will return to Ross's book, to her defiance of all that we're taught to believe we should want, in favor of something so pure it becomes its own kind of "here." What I did take away is her pride, her power, her insistence that they shared something no propriety or judgment could deny. I still want to learn from her example, because I got the loudest possible wakeup call that if I don't grapple with that, if I let the "but not"s crush me, they will. They will make any scrap of momentary comfort, the beautiful devils waiting to welcome me into their open arms, so tempting, so inviting, I will be useless to resist.

The other night I was so over winter that I wore one of my favorite summer dresses, one that ties around my neck, dips low in the front, bares my entire back. I covered it with a sweater that I bought to ward off the chill of another "but not" time, a night when I needed some kind of armor to wrap around me, something warm and soft to play with as I entered into the unknown. Now I wear it because I like the way it hangs along my arm, its edge ending mid-ink so if I angle it right, I can see "art" on my arm. I wear it and try to infuse it with new memories, new meanings, which is what I'm being forced to do with so many aspects of my life in order to move them forward into the future, into the here, away from the "but not." It slipped down my back while I maneuvered around in the passenger seat, the warm air greeting my bare skin for a moment before I pulled it up and I was so grateful to be only there, completely present, no "but"s.

My life seems to be a constant grappling, balancing, weighing of the "here"s and the "but not"s and some days are easier than others. Some days the latter wins out, fills me up with that sense of loss, until that is what I hallucinate, and when I let that loss overpower me, I really am not here, I'm nowhere, in some space that I only wish existed. The good days, though, or rather, the good moments, are the ones I'm trying to focus on, the "here"s so strong and intense and real and solid.

Call for submissions: Best Sex Writing 2013

Note: Earlier submissions stand a better chance as I will be selecting pieces as I go (but all final responses will happen by August). This doesn't mean that I won't consider everything submitted by deadline, but it does mean that you shouldn't wait until May 2nd and hope you can still get in. Trust me, earlier is better for you and better for me and I'm excited to start digging in thisverysecond. For the most part I scout and hunt and read for this series but I welcome any and all submissions, especially the unexpected. That's my most helpful hint aside from writing something heartfelt, beautiful, novel and unique to you, and reading the past editions, especially this years, aka, my very favorite book of all my 42 books, Best Sex Writing 2012 . It's also the most varied in terms of types of stories from the literary fiction world, journalism, sex-positive world, etc. And follow the guidelines. Thanks! Feel free to circulate the below wide and far, aka, everywhere.

Call for submissions: Best Sex Writing 2013
To be edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
guest judge TBA
Publication date: December 2012
Deadline for submissions: May 1, 2012

Editor Rachel Kramer Bussel is looking for personal essays and reportage for inclusion in the 2013 edition of the Cleis Press series Best Sex Writing, which will hit stores in December 2012. Seeking articles from across the sexual spectrum, covering (in no particular order) alternative sexuality, asexuality, reproductive rights and sexuality, sex education, sex and technology, sex work, sex and aging, sex and parenting, sex and politics, sex and religion, sex and race, sex and class, sex and disability, scientific research about sex, marriage, GLBT rights, BDSM, polyamory, transgender issues, gender roles, etc. Media criticism is also especially welcome; for excellent examples, see "The Careless Language of Sexual Violence" by Roxane Gay and "Men Who 'Buy Sex' Commit More Crimes: Newsweek, Trafficking, and the Lie of Fabricated Sex Studies" by Thomas Roche in Best Sex Writing 2012. These topics are just starting points; any writings covering the topic of sex will be considered. Personal essays will also be considered. I like work that looks at sex in new and unusual ways (see Stacey D'Erasmo's "Silver-Balling" in Best Sex Writing 2009 for a prime example), that challenges us to think about sex and our own sexuality, is thought-provoking and possibly disturbing. I want sex journalism that's found in the most unexpected places and is as topical as possible. No fiction or poetry will be considered.

Previous editions of the annual series have featured authors such as Brian Alexander, Violet Blue, Susannah Breslin, Susie Bright, Stephen Elliott, Gael Greene, Michael Musto, Scott Poulson-Bryant, Tracy Quan, Mary Roach, Tristan Taormino, Virginia Vitzhum, and others. The series has reprinted work from national magazines and newspapers, college newapapers, independent magazines, zines, websites, literary journals, memoirs and more. See Best Sex Writing 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2012 for examples of the types of writing being sought. I'm especially looking for reported pieces that are political, timely, intelligent, surprising, and insightful about sex in American culture (and its many subcultures).

Requirements: Story must have been published (or slated to be published) between August 1, 2011 and September 30, 2012, online and/or in print (book, magazine, zine or newspaper) in the United States. No unpublished work; reprints only.

Instructions: Please send your double-spaced submission (up to 5,000 words) as a Word document or RTF attachment to bestsexwriting2013 at gmail.com – you may submit a maximum of TWO pieces for consideration. You MUST include your full contact information, a bio, and previous publication details as per below. Early submissions are preferred and encouraged as the selection process is rolling.

If for some reason you are unable to send a Word document or RTF, send your submission in the body of an email. Put "Submission" in the subject line. Electronic submissions only. Include your name, email address, mailing address, phone number, and exact publication details (title of publication, date of publication, and any other relevant information). ONLY SEND WORK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REPRINT.

Editors may submit up to three submissions from their publication, following the guidelines above. Please make it clear that you are the editor submitting work for consideration from your publication, and have the author's contact information available upon request.

Email address (for queries and submissions): bestsexwriting2013 at gmail.com
Payment: $100 and 2 copies of the book on publication
Deadline: May 1, 2012
Expect to hear back from me by September 1, 2012 at the latest[image error]

The Advocate calls Best Sex Writing 2012 a "must-read book"

Look what The Advocate said about Best Sex Writing 2012 ! I'm finalizing the West Coast tour dates very soon. Excited!

Best Sex Writing 2012Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, selected and introduced by Susie BrightThis is no collection of erotic fiction but rather a presentation of year's most challenging and provocative nonfiction essays on all things sex. Bright writes in the foreword, "We're here to reveal the well-sharpened pitchforks of sexual hypocrisy," and the book does just that with sources as diverse as Salon, The Village Voice, Newsweek, and The Chronology of Water. Nearly every piece is excellent, but some are clearly heads above others: Thomas Roche's look at the biased science around anti–sex work studies, Camille Dodero's "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks," and gay former soldier Tim Elhajj's "An Unfortunate Discharge Early in My Naval Career" chief among them. A must-read book, regardless of what kind of sex you like. ($16, Cleis Press)

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