JohnA Passaro's Blog, page 46
February 15, 2016
Be More Proud, Then Disappointed
Excerpt from “Again” – Chapter 25 – JohnA Passaro
If Marcus Dupree weighed 10 pounds less,
He would have outrun Arizona State’s defense
And scored two more touchdowns,
And we would have won the game.
Barry Switzer
After Marcus Dupree ran for 245 yards
In the first half in the 1983 Fiesta Bowl
The Best That Never Was.
ESPN’s 30 for 30
Marcus Dupree was the most sought after high school football player in the history of college football.
He was recruited by over one hundred college teams.
He was considered to be the best recruit ever, in any sport.
His talent was off of the charts.
He broke every yardage and touchdown record in the country.
Marcus Dupree chose Oklahoma to play college football.
He had a tremendous freshman season.
At the end of his freshman year, Marcus ran for 245 yards in the Fiesta Bowl.
In the first half.
That is a Fiesta Bowl rushing record that still stands to this day.
Let me repeat that… Marcus rushed for all 245 yards, in the first half of the game.
Due to injury, Marcus did not play in the second half of the game.
A game that Oklahoma wound up losing to Arizona State 32-31.
After the game, Marcus Dupree’s coach, Barry Switzer was pretty vocal about his feeling, stating that if Marcus were in shape, he would not have gotten hurt. He would have been able to run for 450 yards, break an all time college rushing record that would never be broken, and Oklahoma would have won the game.
After hearing from his friends what his coach was saying about him on national television, Marcus Dupree never really “played” for Coach Switzer… ever again.
Marcus was soon quoted as saying:
“I think that I will play this year, but it may be my last at Oklahoma. It’s just not fun.”
Marcus left Oklahoma in the middle of his sophomore year and never again approached the greatness that he showed on the field that day in the Fiesta Bowl.
To this day, Barry Switzer says that the way he handled Marcus Dupree is the biggest regret of his coaching career.
There is an older, out of shape gentleman being shown a vintage film of a young man playing high school football.
“Oh my god! Wooow, that boy is good!” exclaims the older man who is watching #22 dodge every tackle and run 98 yards for a touchdown.
Another barely audible, “Oh my god.”
“Who is this kid? Where is he from?” he rhetorically asks.
“I know it’s me, but it’s hard to believe I was doing all of this stuff.”
In the next scene of ESPN’s 30 for 30 documentary of Marcus Dupree, entitled “The Best That Never Was,” Marcus is walking on his old high school football field, looking up in the empty seats, visualizing who was in the crowd watching him play.
He says, “My mom enjoyed seeing me play more than anybody.”
A reporter asks him, “I thought Reggie was your biggest fan?”
Reggie was Marcus’s handicap younger brother.
Marcus breaks down in tears.
The reporter then asks, “Tell me what you are feeling?”
“That Reggie couldn’t play and run like I could, and then, just to think about the day the doctors told my mom there was nothing else they could do. And I told her I felt like I just hadn’t done enough. I just asked
her if I had made her proud. Did I do enough to make you proud?”
“That’s all I wanted to do was to make my momma and my brother proud.”
It is easy for the father of a wrestler pursuing greatness to be unapologetically demanding.
The key is to be relentlessly positive as well.
I have learned to be a dad first and a coach second.
I have become a better coach in silence than I ever was with constant words of instruction.
When you are pushing your son towards greatness, it is very easy to overlook all the hard work and dedication he has put into it.
To just point out what he needs to improve upon.
To constantly emphasize what needs to be done, instead of complimenting what has been done.
To take the fun out of it.
Don’t.
That would be a grave mistake.
Ask Barry Switzer.
I have learned that there are times when I need to be more proud than disappointed.
To rush for 245 yards in one half, in a bowl game – what an accomplishment.
It has never been done since.
“All I wanted to do was to make my momma and my brother proud.”
“Did I do enough to make you proud, momma?”
This is an excerpt from the book “Again”, book 2 in the “Every Breath is Gold Series”
Read the complete version of “Again”
Read “6 Minutes Wrestling with Life” – Book 1
They Don’t Know You
And see the degree of your passion,
Or look into the depths of your soul
And see the extent of your will,
Then they have no business telling you
What you can and can not achieve.
Because, while they may know the odds –
They don’t know you.
Sandra Kring
Wristband or Handstamp?
Excerpt from “Again” – Chapter 35
Wrestling tournaments are physically and emotionally draining.
Especially for parents.
Hours and hours of waiting and anxiety exchanged for a few minutes of a burst of energy from your son.
For me it is not the actual mat time that is so stressful, it is calming my mind to neutral between matches that saps my energy.
During this time, my mind is like a charger left in an outlet, unattached from its phone.
Constant flow of useless energy.
It takes a lot of experience to realize that once you are at the tournament, all preparation work is done.
There is nothing, other than being over-bearing, that can be done on tournament day.
“Just let him be,” I keep telling myself.
“Let him figure it out; it is part of the process.”
It took a long time to come to this means, and a lot of trust in coaches, but for me as a parent, this is also part of the process.
“I also had to figure it out.”
So now as I enter each tournament and pay my admission, I either receive a wristband or a hand stamp.
If given a choice, I prefer the wristband.
And after all is said and done and every match has been wrestled, and I find myself recapping the last few days in my mind, I suddenly realize what this is all about.
It is about lasting memories and relationships you build through sport.
If you asked the normal person how many moments in their life they vividly remember, I mean vividly remember, I would bet that no more than a few will come to mind.
The sport of wrestling has created so many vivid memories for me;
I feel blessed.
Memories that I would like to hold on to for my lifetime.
Memories that I know I will draw upon when I need them the most.
And that may be very soon.
So in the shower, while recapping this weekend’s competition, I look down at my right hand and I see the hand stamp from the New York State Tournament and I realize that it will be the last one I will attend as a parent of a wrestler.
And one thought goes through my mind, “I wish this hand stamp was a wristband instead.”
You see, the wristband lasts just a little longer.
So, for as long as my hand stamp is still visible to me, my right hand will not be washed below my wrist so the memory of this weekend can last just a little longer.
This is an excerpt from the book “Again”, book 2 in the “Every Breath is Gold Series”
Read the complete version of “Again”
Read “6 Minutes Wrestling with Life” – Book 1
February 13, 2016
Become a Rebounder
So your dreams have been shattered.
You have suffered a devastating loss.
What you have been working for, sacrificing for, rearranging your life and world for is no longer available for you to obtain.
You can no longer be a champion.
Not this year.
So, what do you do?
You fight back and become a rebounder.
You learn how to take 3rd.
Taking 3rd is the hardest thing to do in wrestling.
In order to take third, it means you suffered a devastating loss along the way, and you had the mental toughness and the ability to handle adversity, to regroup and to keep moving forward.
If you wrestle in enough tournaments you will come to realize some will go your way, and some will not.
Yes, becoming a champion is impressive.
But that day everything went your way.
Becoming a rebounder may be even more impressive.
And even more valuable.
There will be more times in life when things do not go your way.
So stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Stop looking through the rear view mirror and redirect your focus towards the windshield.
Your most impressive act as a wrestler is still available to you.
Come back and take 3rd.
Rebounders gain more respect than champions.
I can honestly say that my proudest moment as a parent was not when my son won a state championship, it was when he fought back to take 3rd.
If wrestling is truly to prepare a young man for life than the greatest life lesson that a wrestler will learn is not in becoming a champion,
It is in becoming a rebounder.
Read “6 Minutes Wrestling with Life” Online
February 11, 2016
Again
Read Reviews
“Again” is the Sequel to “6 Minutes Wrestling with Life”
Chapters 16-36 will be uploaded tonight.
Read Online
1 – SUFFERN
2 – BAMBOO, TIME AND BELIEF
3 – DOUBLE CONFIRMATION
4 – RED LIGHTS AND YELLOW LINES
5 – THE MOST DANGEROUS DAY OF YOUR LIFE
6 – THE REMATCH
7 – HERE ARE MY SHOES
8 – OVER TIME OR OVERTIME
9 – ROOFTOP ON A HOSPITAL PARKING LOT
10 – YOU CAN GET THE LAST TAKEDOWN, FOR YOUR TEAM
11 – SNOW GLOBE
12 – THE SUN IS ALWAYS THERE
13 – FLYING IN A FOG
14 – SWEAT
15 – MY FEAR
16 – THE GREATEST ASSET IN MY LIFE
17 – JOHNA
18 – LIFE TRANSFORMED
19 – TURN YOUR WALL INTO A RAFT
20 – A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS
21 – TANKS AND DOORWAYS
22 – I’LL HAVE AN ORDER OF HAPPINESS TO GO
23 – PRESENCE OVER PRESENTS
24 – THE CRASH
25 – BE MORE PROUD THAN DISAPPOINTED
26 – HEAD TURNING EVENTS
27 – THE CYCLE
28 – THE SECTION XI PARENTS ALLIANCE
29 – IUF X 4
30 – FROM THE PODIUM TO THE 15TH FLOOR
31 – A GREAT FRIEND GIVES YOU THE SHIRT OFF OF HIS WALL
32 – FROM THE BASEMENT TO THE JUMBOTRON
33 – THE NOD AND HUG
34 – THE MOST UNSELFISH ACT EVER
35 – WRISTBAND OR HAND STAMP
36 – THE PERFECT ENDING
Section XI Parent Alliance
Again – Chapter 28 – JohnA Passaro
Do I not destroy my enemies
When I make them my friends?
Abraham Lincoln
It is something you see, over and over, when you walk around the Section XI Tournament.
It is what I call the Section XI Parent Alliance.
Parents of wrestlers who are wrestling today, shaking hands with each other, and wishing their opponents sons wrestle the best match of their life today.
You see this between parents who know the brackets all too well.
Parents who know the depth of the Section XI tournament. Parents who know that the difference between their kid standing at the top of the podium or standing on the wood floor, may only be 1 point, 1 call, or 1 second.
That one point, 1 call or 1 second will turn into the one heartbreak that will make their heart ache, which will last all of their life.
Parents whose only want is for every wrestler to have the tournament of their life, on this day.
Parents who know what it feels like to be vulnerable in this sport, no matter how hard you have worked, for no matter how many years.
You hear, “Anything can happen.”
“Everyone is 0-0 right now.”
“I just want him to be himself.”
From parents who have had the humbling experience of their sons wrestling in this tournament in prior years.
Parents who know that a loss at this time of the year will crush one’s dreams and one’s spirits.
And no parent wants that – not even for his opponent.
Parents who want to see dreams captured for every deserving wrestler, but know that there will be only one champion per weight class who will be guaranteed an invite upstate.
So here’s to all parents who are part of this alliance – wishing that every wrestler wrestles his best tournament this weekend.
Read the Complete Book Online
Sharing Inspiration and Optimism
Read All Reviews
READ ONLINE
BE INCAPABLE OF DISCOURAGEMENT
SOMETIMES, TEXAS IS NOT FOREVER
TODAY IS MY RE-BIRTH DAY
TRUST YOURSELF
SCOLD, BUT THEN MOLD
THE AMERICA I KNOW
IN THE EYE OF A STORM
SAVING HOPE
THE GREATEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE
READING LAWNS
ONLY ONE
IN THE ZONE
A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME WILL LAST A LIFETIME
THE PUSH
THE POINT
I FAIL SO I CAN SUCCEED
GREAT COACHES CHANGE LIVES
IMPOSSIBLE TO INEVITABLE
I WOULD HAVE MISSED
TAKE A STRAW AWAY TODAY
THE PURSUIT
February 10, 2016
A Good Man
Read Online
1. THE FACTS
2. INSIDE OUT
3. STILL LIVING
4. CHARADES
5. NATURES MAGNETIC PULL
6. NATURE KNOCKING
7. CARE IS THERE
8. TRULY KNOWING
9. A VALUABLE NICKEL
10. MY BOSS
11. LEAD BY EXAMPLE
12. THE COST OF AN ENEMY
13. ASK, LISTEN, IMPLEMENT
14. LITTLE THINGS
15. WHEN A STATION WAGON IS MORE VALUABLE THAN A RED FERRARI
16. MR. MONEYBAGS
17. LET’S NOT GO TO THE VIDEOTAPE
18. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION
19. SUMMER BONUS
20. WINTER DARKNESS
21. WHOLE SEASONS
22. GRAND THEFT AUTO
23. NEW COKE
24. OLD NAKED LADY
25. THE GRAVITY OF LIFE
26. ASS BACKWARDS AND THE ONE EYED GUY
27. WHEN YOUR LIGHT GOES OUT
28. TONIC WATER LADY
29. THE MILLISECOND OF TRUTH
30. YOU CAN’T KEEP A GOOD MAN DOWN
31. LOOK ON YOUR STOOP
32. THE LOVELESS PRISON
33. DON’T LET THE LIE WIN
34. A D.I.M.E. IS WORTHLESS
35. SEPARATION OF ACT AND PERSON
36. ANGELS ON A TRAIN
37. MY WISH
38. THREE WISHES
39. SILENT WHISPERS
40. WHOLE LIVES
February 9, 2016
Present and in Awe
The greatest gift one can give oneself
Is to be present and in awe of the ordinary.
JohnA Passaro
Read “6 Minutes Wrestling with Life” – online
February 7, 2016
6 Minutes Wrestling with Life
READ ONLINE
9. BE THE GUY WHO SETS THE BAR
14. ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK
16. FISH HOOKED – DON’T TAKE THE BAIT
18. DAY 28 EERILY PARALLEL LIVES
22. TOURETTE’S WITHOUT TALKING
23. 6 BEDS – 7 PATIENTS – 0 PATIENCE
28. AN AWAITING RESERVOIR OF “CAN DO”
33. SLEEPING WITH MY SNEAKERS ON
37. ONLY LIGHT DRIVES OUT DARKNESS
38. FROM MELROSE PLACE TO ER OVERNIGHT
43. ADULT LARGE – TAKE THE HIT
52. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
55. TODAY IS A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE
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