Jo Knowles's Blog, page 19

January 30, 2012

The Sweater(s)

Do you remember that THING your mom or dad or grandparent or SOMEONE made you wear when you were little? Over and over again? Even though you HATED it? Because it was "special"? And someone had (oh, you are in trouble now) worked so hard to MAKE it?

Me too.



I want to apologize to my mom right now. Because she made these sweaters. One for my brother, one for me, and one for my sister. She did a great job! I cannot knit to save my life. And there's even a pattern! Looking at them now, they're really quite cute.

But these sweaters. Oh lord. They itched. And the head holes were small. I remember my mom pulling pulling PULLING that thing over my head. And me insisting it WOULD. NOT. FIT. I remember crying. Pleading. But she always managed, in the end, to pry that thing on me.

And then, we would take pictures.



I know. Nice bangs.

Anyway. Did you notice I mentioned that my mom made THREE sweaters? Did you notice I am the youngest child? Do you know what this means?

That's right.

I was literally wearing this dreaded sweater (sorry Mom) for YEARS. YEARS. First mine, then my sister's, then my brother's. Because you know. My mom had MADE them. And I do get that. I do. But oh, how I dreaded the mornings when my mom held that sweater out to me and the battle between my big noggin and that small neck hole began.

When my own son was young, someone gave him a gorgeous wool sweater with a sweet sheep dog on the front. I remember inspecting the neck. Because I knew. I remembered. But like my mom, I pleaded with him to "just put it on!" Because he would look so CUTE. And someone had worked so hard to MAKE it.

Luckily, my child is a lot more agreeable than I ever was. But he did NOT like it. Too scratchy. Too bulky. Too hot! And so, we rushed outside and I arranged him on the front steps of our home. Next to a pumpkin, I believe. He smiled for a photo. We pulled the sweater back off. We sent the photo to the giver with a grateful thank you note.

And that was the end of that.

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Monday Morning Warm-Up:

Describe the THING you were forced to wear over and over even though you hated it. Who gave it to you? What did it look like? How did it smell? Feel? Share!


P.S. I will be hosting the Eng.Chat tonight at 7:00pmEST on Twitter! We'll be discussing "Talking Truth With Teens". Hope you can make it! Just follow the hashtag "engchat" on Twitter. My user name is @joknowles. Thanks!
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Published on January 30, 2012 05:06

January 27, 2012

Good news, sad news, up and down

This week brought two HUGE and thrilling surprises.

First, for PEARL. :)

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This was a true shocker. Poor PEARL didn't get picked up by Barnes & Noble. And with Borders closed, the book has had pretty pitiful sales–and therefore, not a whole lot of readers, either. It is really, really wonderful to see the book get some love from the committee. THANK YOU. And many congrats to all the authors on the list!

(ETA: I am extremely grateful to the Indies who sell the book! But we all know many communities don't have indies, and sadly, it does make a big difference for authors when their books aren't carried by the chains. Sad, sad fact and another reason to shop local whenever possible.)

Second, for Lessons From A Dead Girl.

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This came as another shocker! This book came out FIVE years ago, so you can imagine my surprise when I was told the book made the list under the STICKS and STONES category. As I write this, I actually went back again to make sure I wasn't dreaming!

Also on the list? DEAR BULLY!

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I love this collection and am so honored to have an essay included. Thank you Megan and Carrie, and all the contributors who made the book what it is.

Amid the jumping up and down though, there are other things going on in my life. And I am constantly reminded of the roller coaster world we live in. up uP UP one second and DOWN DOwn down the next. Trying to hold on, learning to let go.

Through it all, I find myself feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the people in my life. For the friendships. For the memories we have created. For the love. Even in the midst of loss, there is so much to be thankful for, isn't there? The sadness of losing a loved one comes from just that: having loved. And what a precious thing that is.

I think I would always choose the roller coaster.

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Published on January 27, 2012 05:00

January 25, 2012

January 24, 2012

Talking Truth with Teens

Today instead of blogging here, I have a post up over at EngChat.org called "Talking Truth with Teens."

I talk about the dreaded question, "Did it happen to you?" and the degrees of truth in fiction. Hope you'll stop by!

I'll be hosting the EngChat on Twitter (you can use the hashtag #engchat to find us) and talking more about the topics raised in my post next Monday, January 30 at 7pm. Please leave a comment or come join the chat! Thanks!
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Published on January 24, 2012 06:08

January 22, 2012

January 18, 2012

January 16, 2012

On fear, pain, truth, letting go, and gratitude (AKA how HARRY'S came to be)

Back in 2009, Cindy Lord was the keynote speaker at the New England SCBWI conference. My agent, Barry Goldblatt, was also at that conference. It was a weekend that would change everything for SEE YOU AT HARRY'S, but I wouldn't know it until, well, maybe at this very moment.

I had recently submitted a draft of SEE YOU AT HARRY'S to Barry. He said he'd finished it, and maybe we should go sit outside so we could talk.

I was scared.

I was right to be. (This is my original entry about the weekend and that talk. ;-) )

There were a lot of problems with the manuscript. A lot. I was having trouble separating my own emotional truths with those of the characters in the book. I was having trouble separating my own family dynamics with those of the characters in the book. Mostly, I was having trouble because I was not ready, not prepared, to write this book.

Because what had started out as something intended to be fun and silly and a gift to my lost brother had insisted on taking a hard and painful turn. Kind of like my life had done, several years earlier.

As Barry went on an on about the things that weren't working in the manuscript, he would say things to acknowledge that he knew how hard this must be for me to write.

Do you know how when you're hurting and someone says something nice to you and it makes you cry? Let's just say, I'm glad I was wearing sunglasses.

When we finally finished our conversation, I felt pretty wrecked. But everything Barry said was spot on. Maybe that's why it was so hard to hear.

Sunday morning, I went into the enormous ballroom at the conference to hear Cindy. She talked about the very tough decisions she made when writing RULES. She knew, she said, that by writing a book that in many ways reflected her own experience, she would always have to answer hard questions. She would have to revisit personal emotions. And knowing all this, she had to decide if it was worth it. She decided it was.

As I sat there listening, I kept thinking about this hard story I found myself trying to tell. About all the things that weren't working and why. And slowly the individual truths of each character began to become more clear. There was this amazing feeling of letting go of what was, and gathering back in what must be. In order to tell this story truly, I had to let go of my own. It was only the heart of it I needed to keep. But that was the part I'd been trying to hide and protect myself from all along. Cindy's speech gave me the courage to see that.

When Candlewick is putting the copy for their jackets together, they ask you to talk about what led you to write the book. Here is what I said:

"Some years ago, my agent suggested I write a book that reflected my own experience growing up in the restaurant business. When I began, I imagined the book as a gift to my brother, in which I could rewrite our past and make it kinder and more gentle. But I soon realized these characters weren't us, and fate had other plans for them. Ironically, by writing this story about strangers I came to love, I was able to understand my own family story more clearly."

So many years have passed since my agent suggested I write this book. It seems impossible that it is finally making it's way out in the world. Am I ready to answer the hard questions? Yes. Am I ready to talk about painful emotions? Yes.

I hope so, anyway.

I spend a lot of years working on each of my books. And all that time, they belong to me. And then my writing partners and close writing friends. And then my agent. And then my editor. And then... it's time to let go. To share. It's that time now, and I won't lie. I'm scared. But I'm also relieved. I've held this story in my chest for so, so long. I'm ready to let it go.

Recently Amazon published the blurbs Candlewick gathered from other authors to place on the front and back jacket of the book. Reading these incredibly generous words of support from authors I respect and admire so highly helps me feel a little less scared. A little more ready. And truly, deeply, grateful that the book's first readers were so amazingly gentle and kind. Thank you. And thank you, Barry and Cindy, for your always honest advice.

Sometimes your heart has to break before it can heal. SEE YOU AT HARRY'S will make you weep, but it will also fill your soul with the extravagant gift of love. This may be the most beautiful book ever.
—Lauren Myracle

Heart-breaking, soul-sustaining, and all-around beautiful.
—Rebecca Stead

See You at Harry's is one of the most beautiful, moving books I've ever read. Full of laughter, love, and tears, it will break your heart and put it back together again, with a little more light, a little more hope than there was before.
—Kate Messner

This story of an imperfect but loving family and how it holds together through shattering tragedy as well as everyday complications is full of true heart. Jo Knowles' love for her characters shines through on every page.
—Sara Zarr

SEE YOU AT HARRY'S is a beautiful, deeply moving story-one never shying from the flawed truths that come from being part of a big, messy family. I finished the book the way I do every Jo Knowles novel: holding it close, not wanting to let go.
—Nova Ren Suma

Jo Knowles writes a family you know in your bones-their routines, rituals, petty gripes, recurring jokes-which is why it about kills you when something equally real and terribly unexpected threatens their very existence as a family. Thankfully, Knowles brings hope-first a flicker, then a big, booming beacon of it. I loved it.
—Linda Urban

Jo Knowles has crafted a shimmering, pitch-perfect novel of love, loss, and resilience which finds the beauty in the small joys of everyday living, the comfort in the often-infuriating bonds of family, and the gentle hope that grows from the heartbreak of tragedy. Beautiful and life-affirming.
—Libba Bray


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Monday Morning Warm-Up...

Stolen from my recap back in 2009: "Write to the prompt: "I want to write something that will..."
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Published on January 16, 2012 06:00

January 13, 2012

Friday 5: Let me in!

1. My son has ANOTHER snow day.
The phone message at 6:09a.m. said:

"Good morning, it is 6:09 a.m. and it is Friday, the 13th. Mwahahahahhahaha. And school has been canceled."

The mood in the house is a happy one.

2. I am swamped.
Really. Swamped. With THINGS. To DO. And I can't seem to get any of them done. This may have something to do with #1 above.

3. Fred is back!
With my son home, we were able to catch up on our Things We Put On Fred tubmlr. Here is Fred trying to puzzle it out:



If at first you don't succeed. Turn it into a hat.


4. Please join me on Engchat!

I'm going to be hosting Engchat on January 30th. This is an interactive discussion/chat on Twitter. With English teachers. I am nervous. I also need to think of a topic and write a blog entry to introduce it. Ideas desperately welcome. If you could have a chat with me about something writing/book related, what would you like to talk about?

5.Let. Me. In.
This is me, stuck on the outside.

My son took this picture, on the inside. Warm. Waiting for me to give orders to "Get your boots on! Find your gloves! Zip up your coat! Get out here and help me shovel!" I love my son. But he needs direction. Kind of like Josh, the main character in my work-in-progress, LIVING WITH JACKIE CHAN. He really needs me to tell him what to do. But I am waiting for HIM to figure it out. So we are on opposite sides of the glass. Staring at each other. Waiting for inspiration. Waiting to truly SEE each other and figure out what we really want and need to do. It is a hard time. An anxious time. And it is probably the reason for #2. Because when I am stuck in one place, I seem to be stuck all over the place.

Today, I am hoping to change this situation.

And on that note, I guess I will go open my file.

Happy writing and happy weekend! :-)
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Published on January 13, 2012 04:34

January 11, 2012

January 9, 2012

Finding progress in going backwards, and other stuff

It has been one week since I posted my theme for the New Year and I've already learned a few important things: Namely, that sometimes going backward is even more productive than plotting/plodding forward. And so, I spent the past week re-revising a large section of my manuscript that I knew, somehow, wasn't doing what it needed to do. I also learned (or re-learned, since I knew this all along but for reasons that probably have to do with one-part laziness and two-parts fear) how important it is to ask the hard questions about what's missing and why things aren't working. Usually, both of THOSE things have to do with something I am trying to write around rather than through. Never a good idea at this stage, though sometimes it's OK in the first draft.

But the work is there. The hard work I've been going after. The true work. So even though it's frustrating to feel as though I'm still on the same chapter I was at the beginning of last week, I know that what comes before will now propel me forward in a truer way than it would have. Sometimes one step forward, three steps (or chapters) back, is exactly right.

Some other things that have been happening:

• You can now read the first chapter of SEE YOU AT HARRY'S via the book page at Candlewick. Just click on "Read a sample chapter." The cover is still getting final tweaks but hopefully it will be ready soon. As reviews begin to pop up on Goodreads, the book is beginning to feel more and more real. Thanks to everyone who has already read the book and shared your thoughts. They are greatly appreciated! :)

The workshop descriptions for the New England SCBWI conference are now available!. I am thrilled to be co-leading two workshops. One on Friday and one on Saturday. And, that my husband will be coming with me again. I can't wait! This is my absolute favorite conference, both for the workshops, and for catching up with friends. Will you be there?

• I'll be attending my first ever Whispering Pines Retreat as an author mentor in March! The schedule sounds like a lot of fun, with reading first pages, giving workshops, and one-on-one critiques. I've never given critiques like this before, so I'm a little nervous, but also excited to read new work and brainstorm with the writers. And, I've been told the food is out of this world. Yay! Anyone else attending? I've heard registration is now closed and there is a waiting list.

• I started skiing again. My son's ski program allows parents to sign up to ski at a very reduced rate so I decided to take advantage and sign up. Last Wednesday was our first day and it was FREEZING but also beautiful. I was by myself the whole time, which I thought would feel weird, but actually was just what I needed. The snow. The trees. The quiet, gray sky. The delicious moments when you are the only one on the trail, the wind on your face, breathing breathing breathing that clean, cold air. Lovely.

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Monday Morning Warm-Up:

Describe your favorite quiet and alone time. Where are you? Inside? Outside? Is it cold? Warm? Is there an animal nearby? What do you see? Hear? Smell? Why doe this time matter to you?
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Published on January 09, 2012 05:00