Leslie Glass's Blog, page 372
May 3, 2018
Catholic Leaders Take Up Mental Health Mantle
From the LA Times:
A grassroots effort that began in Orange County following the 2013 suicide of Saddleback Church Pastor Rick Warren’s son has yielded a spirited call to action for Roman Catholics throughout California to help addicts and the mentally ill.
In a nearly 6,000-word pastoral letter made public Wednesday, the California Catholic Bishops, an advocacy group that serves as the official voice of the state’s estimated 10 million Catholics — including some 1.2 million in Orange County — urged the faithful to move beyond stigmatization of the mentally ill toward ministry and care.
“I hope that (this letter) can go beyond the borders of Orange County and show that collaboration is possible among people of faith to really walk with their brothers and sisters who have these struggles so they’re not alone,” said Bishop Kevin Vann of the Diocese of Orange.
The document, “Hope and Healing,” is believed to be the first of its kind in the United States issued by a statewide Catholic leadership organization that addresses a topic traditionally not addressed by clergy and laity.
The pastoral letter, timed to Mental Health Awareness Month in May, references the national opioid crisis — such pain killers were involved in 42,249 deaths in 2016, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention — and the skyrocketing suicide rates among teenagers.
Addiction issues often go hand in hand with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and other mental illnesses.
“We Christians have to get to know people, to befriend them, to listen generously to them, to walk with them,” the bishops said in the pastoral letter. “This is not because we have all the answers to their problems or can cure all of their afflictions, but simply because these encounters — these small acts of love and compassion, understanding, and friendship — are precisely what people need most.”
After Warren’s son, Matthew, fatally shot himself after a lifelong struggle with addiction in April 2013, Vann, Warren and Warren’s wife, Kay, had several discussions that led to a joint mental health conference in 2014.
Then, in 2015, Vann established a Mental Health Taskforce of parish, community and medical mental health leaders that has resulted in the formation of mental health ministries at several Orange County parishes. These ministries host speakers and educational forums and provide links to medical services.
“In the beginning … different things were going on throughout the diocese, but nothing was centralized,” said Louise Dunn, director of New Hope Crisis Center, a counseling hotline run by Catholic Charities of Orange County.
Now, more than 30 parishioners at several Orange County Catholic churches have been trained by Orange County Behavioral Health Services professionals to minister to churchgoers struggling with mental health issues and addiction, said Dunn, who also is chairwoman of the Diocese of Orange Mental Health Advisory Board.
Among the Orange County parishes leading the effort to reach out to the mentally ill are St. John Neumann in Irvine, Our Lady Queen of Angels in Newport Beach, Santiago de Compostela in Lake Forest, Christ our Savior in Santa Ana, and Sts. Simon and Jude in Huntington Beach.
These and other Catholic parishes host educational forums that include members from law enforcement and the medical community including Mission Hospital, St. Joseph Hospital of Orange, Hoag Hospital and CHOC Children’s, which now has a unit dedicated to treating minors with mental health issues.
“There’s been an understanding that we don’t need to reinvent things, but instead work in collaboration so our (goals) can be accomplished,” Dunn said.
The letter urges collaboration between science and religion, health care and pastoral care.
“Clergy and health care professionals, families and mental health advocates should work together to encourage a ‘both-and’ rather than ‘either-or’ approach to psychological and spiritual healing,” the bishops wrote. “We welcome and encourage advances in science and medicine.”
Vann said he hopes the letter serves as a springboard to get all Catholic churches — in Orange County, the state and, eventually, the nation — to develop ministries dedicated to serving the mentally ill and those struggling with addictions.
“I hope that (the letter) … finds its way into peoples’ hands so they can find some hope or healing for themselves, or learn how to help other people,” said Vann, noting that the first homily he gave as a 29-year-old priest in Springfield, Ill., was at a funeral for a man who committed suicide.
“There are human faces behind these struggles and these labels,” Vann said.
The post Catholic Leaders Take Up Mental Health Mantle appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
10 Of The Best Movies Ever Made About Mental Health
From Parade:
Since 1949, May has been observed as Mental Health Awareness Month in the U.S. Mental illness impacts millions of families worldwide, and there’s simply no justification for stigma.
Though it isn’t the rule, sometimes Hollywood treats the subject with the respect and accuracy it merits, while still delivering quality entertainment.
1. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
David O. Russell made this Pennsylvania-set masterpiece about two healing hot messes who fall for each other as something of a gift for his son, who has bipolar disorder and OCD. An uncanny blend of huge laughs, painful authenticity and a moving love story, Silver Linings Playbook walks a tightrope thematically and never sets a foot wrong—much to the delight and pleasure of anyone who watches it. This was the first movie since Warren Beatty‘s Reds 31 years earlier to be nominated for Oscars in all four acting categories (for stars Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro and Jacki Weaver). Lawrence won Best Actress of course, and the rest is history.
Family is a funny thing. We love them, and sometimes they drive us bonkers. Perhaps no movie in history has better captured the shattering heartbreak and undeniable hilarity that happens when loved ones throw down quite like Silver Linings Playbook.
Silver Linings Playbook is a profoundly American movie—has any other film dissected our love of football with as much insight as this one? The movie was released as simply Silver Linings in markets outside the U.S., where the game isn’t as prominent.
2. Ordinary People (1980)
A turning point for the portrayal of psychotherapy in film, Robert Redford‘s drama about an affluent Chicago family reeling from the accidental death of their son tackles tough topics like PTSD and survivor’s guilt.
Major props to Mary Tyler Moore for a genuinely brave performance that throws her signature likability out the window; here she plays a woman who’s seemingly incapable of loving her child, and maybe anyone at all. This was Redford’s directorial debut, and it won four Oscars including Best Picture, Best Director and Best Supporting Actor (Timothy Hutton).
Here’s a fun fact: 24 years after he won on Oscar for Ordinary People, screenwriter Alvin Sargent penned Sam Raimi‘s Spider-Man 2. His focused, intimate and uncommonly character-driven script is far and away the best ever in the superhero genre.
3. Melancholia (2011)
The internal black cloud that is depression doesn’t exactly lend itself naturally to the cinematic. Certainly some films have succeeded in depicting depression on the big screen (see: horror knockout The Babadook for a recent one), but none so purely and spectacularly as Lars von Trier‘s sci-fi drama about two sisters (Kirsten Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg), one of whom is about to get married, while a rogue planet named Melancholia is about to collide with Earth, sealing our inevitable doom. Sumptuous and horrifying in equal measure, the operatic Melancholia doesn’t just showcase jaw-dropping directorial bravado; it features one of the most titanic screen performances so far this century, from Dunst.
Perhaps eyebrow-raising controversies surrounding the film’s Cannes premiere explain why it was completely shut out of the Oscars (Dunst still won Best Actress at Cannes). It’s one of the only films from this century to appear on Sight & Sound‘s most recent critics’ poll of the best films ever made. If you’ve seen Melancholia, you know that final shot—gorgeous, stunningly frightening and awesome in the most fear-based sense of the word—is simply impossible to shake from memory.
4. Inside Out (2015)
Way-y-y more kid-friendly than Melancholia but not one bit less masterful and exquisite, Disney/Pixar’s candy-colored work about the emotions inside a teenage girl’s head might be the studio’s most relentless tearjerker to date.
And those tears are earned. The bottom line: Inside Out enthusiastically reminds us that sadness and pain are an essential part of living a full life, and it does so with more nuance and grace than most live-action prestige dramas aimed solely at grownups. Upon release, Inside Out (winner of Best Animated Feature at the Oscars and nominated for Best Original Screenplay) became a powerful tool for therapists everywhere—with patients of all ages. Prominent British film critic Mark Kermode named Inside Out the best film of 2015.
5. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
One of only three films in history to win the “Big Five” Oscars (Picture, Director, Actor, Actress, Screenplay), Miloš Forman‘s renowned, mega-gritty and bitterly funny drama set in a mental institution stars Jack Nicholson as a [maybe] unrepentant criminal faking insanity and Louise Fletcher as a steely, heartless and calculating nurse.
An eery, pitch-black and deeply disturbing film, Cuckoo’s Nest is a study of the institutional process. And broader than that, it’s an exploration of freedom, control and the human mind. It’s lost none of its edge more than four decades later.
Cuckoo’s Nest is based on the 1962 novel by Ken Kesey, which has been adapted multiple times for the stage. In 1993, the film was selected for preservation by the Library of Congress for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.” The American Film Institute ranks this as the 33rd greatest American film ever made, and Nurse Ratched as the fifth greatest screen villain.
6. [tie] Gaslight (1940) and Gaslight (1944)
Gaslighting is ghastly and cruel; it’s the psychologically abusive act of manipulating someone into questioning their own sanity. The term is practically synonymous with the 1944 George Cukor picture that won Ingrid Bergman her first of three Academy Awards for her performance of a victimized wife. A huge hit for MGM, the film was nominated for seven Oscars in total, including nods for Best Picture and Best Supporting Actress for an 18-year-old Angela Lansbury in her screen debut.
Did you know the 1944 classic is actually a remake of a 1940 British film (which is even more closely adapted from the play by Patrick Hamilton)? It’s not as well-known, and that’s largely because when MGM bought the remake rights, part of the contract demanded all prints of the first film be destroyed. Fortunately, some prints survived and the original was even recently restored by the British Film Institute. Seek both versions out, because they’re both terrific for different reasons. The Hollywood remake is far more lavish, but they both hold up quite well.
7. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
Lasse Hallström‘s drama stars Johnny Depp as a young man in small-town Iowa caring for his morbidly obese mother (Darlene Cates) and autistic younger brother (Leonardo DiCaprio). This marks the first Oscar nom for DiCaprio, who was widely singled out by critics and audiences as the touching film’s greatest asset.
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape also stands out for its frank and affecting portrayal of an eating disorder (such a rarity on the big screen). This was Cates’ very first acting role, she was widely praised for her work by critics and her famous co-stars.
8. Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
Now here is a movie you just want to hug. Ryan Gosling gives one of his most subtle, poignant—and also hilarious—performances to date as Lars, a good-natured, lonely introvert with years of baggage and trauma who turns heads in his small town by embarking upon a romantic relationship with a life-sized love doll named Bianca. Oh, that premise could have gone so many ways, but Lars and the Real Girl is nothing short of, as Roger Ebert put it, “life-affirming.” The people in Lars’ community play along out of their concern and love for the young man, and ultimately they help Lars develop the tools to reach out for real human connection.
Nancy Oliver received an Oscar nomination for her original script (her feature screenwriting debut). Gosling was nominated for a SAG Award and a Golden Globe.
The very best part of Lars and the Real Girl is when we discover Bianca has been elected to the school board. LOL.
9. Krisha (2016)
One of the most effective horror films of the past decade isn’t technically a horror film; it’s a micro-budget drama about an alcoholic visiting her family for Thanksgiving. No film has tackled addiction with such piercing intimacy and visceral force since The Lost Weekend won a Best Picture Oscar in 1945, not even Requiem for a Dream. The might of Krisha is all the more remarkable in that writer/director Trey Edward Shults made it for about $30,000 (that’s 1/10,000th the price tag of Avengers: Infinity War) in his parents’ home using his family as actors. When it’s all over you feel drained of everything, like you’ve been hit by a Mack truck.
Krisha received the Grand Jury Award and the Audience Award in the narrative feature competition at the 2015 South by Southwest Film Festival before a triumphant showing at Cannes.
10. A Beautiful Mind (2001)
Winner of four Oscars (Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay and Supporting Actress), Ron Howard‘s biopic about Nobel Laureate John Nash who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia leans more heavily on Hollywood conventions than the other films on this list, but extraordinary performances from Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly are more than enough reason to see it. It takes liberties with Nash’s life story, and in hindsight it’s debatable whether the Academy made the right call by awarding this Best Picture over Moulin Rouge!, In the Bedroom, The Fellowship of the Ring and Gosford Park, but A Beautiful Mind succeeds as a respectful, glossy and handsome tribute to an inspiring public figure.
Honorable Mention: Fight Club (1999)
Most critics and audiences found M. Night Shyamalan‘s Split to be satisfying enough as popcorn horror entertainment, but it was widely criticized for its unrealistic and problematic portrayal of dissociative identity disorder (DID). Some slammed it for its insinuation that patients with this disorder are likely to be violent, which isn’t accurate (some have even jabbed Alfred Hitchcock‘s beloved Psycho for similar reasons). Though it’s far from a perfect representation, David Fincher‘s cult classic Fight Club does a bit better: a depressed man (Edward Norton) creates Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) as a coping mechanism. DID is most commonly a result of child abuse or other significant trauma. If Fight Club delved further into its narrator’s backstory, it would be more compelling; as it is, it’s undeniably entertaining and it’s easy to see why the film is so popular nearly 20 years later.
Photo: Adobe
The post 10 Of The Best Movies Ever Made About Mental Health appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
5 Recovery Lessons I Learned About Myself
Recovery lessons are tough to learn. Since I’ve been working on these lessons for two decades, I have had some time to think about recovery, and what I’ve learned about myself. Here’s what recovery work revealed about me that I didn’t know at 21, or even 30.
Recovery Lessons I’m Glad I learned
1. I’m tough as nails
Not in the fake, exterior, “no one can hurt me” way. I no longer get rattled by little things. I rarely get rattled by big things. I earned my thick skin by learning how not to take things too personally. I also experienced “the worst” and survived. More than once. Now I know I can survive sober and dignified no matter what comes my way. FYI, there’s no alternative to sober reference.
2. I had the grit to rebuild my self-esteem, and it’s something money can’t buy
I no longer care if you like me, or my work. If it makes me happy, that’s all that matters. That’s not to say I turn a blind eye to constructive criticism, or conduct myself in an unbecoming fashion. It only means, I won’t divert from my purpose just because someone doesn’t like it, or me.
3. I have peace of mind
Things are pretty clear at 40, and that clarity has given me peace of mind. When I felt insane because I didn’t know how to manage my emotions, I suffered. When I fought with loved ones because I didn’t know how to maintain healthy relationships, I suffered. When I struggled with romance, finance, and food, I suffered. Gaining the information, tools, and guidelines I needed to understand these vital areas of life changed everything. I don’t suffer anymore. That also means I don’t have to make other people suffer anymore.
4. Compare Equals Despair and it’s not for me
My life experience is my own. No one who hasn’t lived it will understand it, and to compare my life to other people’s would be an exercise in insanity. Instead of looking around and wondering why my life doesn’t look like other people’s, I’ve come to the safe practice of only monitoring my progress. If I continually move in the right direction, I’m all good.
5. Caring for another creature has been essential for my soul development
I’m not a parent, but I am a dog-mom. I had a mentor who used to tell me dogs open your heart chakra. I agree. I have a dog who’s needed a lot of medical care. Rushing a paralyzed puppy to the ER at 3 am, several times, created a new level of responsibility in me for which I’m grateful. Caring for him has also helped me see how to care for myself. He’s never missed a walk, meal, dog park trip, play date or vet appointment. If I can show up for him like that, I can show up for myself like that.
The moral of the story is, while this may sound like it’s too much work, like it’ll take too long, and the pain along the way will make it impossible to get through—it wasn’t. I’m proud of what I did. I’m proud of who I’ve become: reliable, responsible, accountable for my actions, hard-working, disciplined, healthy eater, fit, self-supporting… I guess it’s like any other major endeavor one takes on, like starting a family or training for a marathon. There are days you jump out of bed and want to take it all on, and there are days you just don’t feel like it. But, once you finish that marathon or see your child, or puppy, run around, would you ever consider changing your decision? I wouldn’t.
If you need help on your recovery journey, visit Recovery Guidance for a free resource to find addiction and mental health professionals near you.
The post 5 Recovery Lessons I Learned About Myself appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Not Talking About Mental Health Is Literally Killing Men
From Men’s Health:
Our mission at MensHealth.com has always been to help men build themselves into better men. Stronger men. Healthier men. Rooted in science and expert opinion, our content translates dense topics into easily digestible, actionable health advice. Piecemeal, the concepts are sound and effective. But overall health must be viewed holistically. Your mental health is inseparable from your physical health. Not a revolutionary concept, but what is astounding is the stigmatization that still surrounds men who dare to talk about their mental struggles. As we move into Mental Health Awareness Month this May, we hope to change that.
One of the most integral components is your mind.
Men who are vocal about any kind of mental issues can be dismissed as weak. As inferior. As flawed, broken guys who are more likely to be ostracized for their honesty, instead of rewarded for their bravery. Instead of affording a fellow man compassion, we mock, belittle, and turn a blind eye. We freely spit the phrase, “Man up,” as though your gender alone should suffice to guide you through your darkest times.
Or worse: we nonchalantly respond, “Well, that sucks,” then change the subject because talking about feelings is just too real.
What’s real is the fact that 9 percent of men experience depression on a daily basis. That’s more than 6 million men. Even if we understand what depression feels like, we rarely admit that’s the culprit. We lie and say we’re tired or just cranky. More than 3 million men struggle with anxiety daily. Of the 3.5 million people diagnosed as schizophrenic by the age of 30, more than 90 percent are men. An estimated 10 million men in the U.S. will suffer from an eating disorder in their lifetime. (Our own Style and Grooming Editor Louis Baragona eloquently and touchingly shared his battle with bulimia.) We retreat from friends and instead drown sorrows in numbing substances. One out of every five men will develop an alcohol dependency during his life.
Male suicide is rising at such an alarming rate that it’s been classified as a “silent epidemic.” It’s the seventh leading cause of death for males. That’s a staggering statistic. Drill down into the numbers and suicide is the second most common cause of death for every age group for men 10 through 39.
Our mental problems are literally killing us. And that has to stop.
This macho attitude of stuffing your feelings down, or ignoring them, is antiquated and downright dangerous.
It’s okay to not have your shit together. It’s okay to feel depressed. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be anxious. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to not have everything figured out, to feel a wave of uncertainty come crashing over you and not know which way is up, or when your next gulp of air will come. These are perfectly normal feelings that every man experiences. And it’s okay to talk about it.
What’s not okay is suffering in silence.
A few courageous men have led the charge, exposing their plights to the rest of us. Singer Zayn Malik openly discussed his struggle with anxiety and his battle with an eating disorder. The Cleveland Cavaliers’ Kevin Love penned an op-ed entitled “Everyone Is Going Through Something,” chronicling his panic attacks.
When Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson recently revealed his battle with depression after his mother attempted suicide when he was a teenager, his words struck a chord with us:
“[It] took me a long time to realize it but the key is to not be afraid to open up. Especially us dudes have a tendency to keep it in. You’re not alone.”
You’re not. This month, we’ll be bringing you a number of fantastic pieces and features that help shine light on all the aspects of men’s mental health, curated by our incredible Deputy Editor E.J. Dickson.
We’ll cover depression and anxiety, how to recognize the symptoms of each and what to do next. We’ll dive into the world of postpartum mood disorders for men, an issue that is more common than you think, but that no one ever speaks about. We’ll explore bipolar disorder, through the lens of Andy Irons, a surfer who fought his illness by self-medicating so much that it led to his untimely passing.
We’ll examine the link between gut health and mental health. Are there foods you can eat that are genuinely good for your mental wellbeing? We’ll talk about body dysmorphia, a condition our former cover star Dan Stein faced, as well as how to deal with that one part of your body that you simply hate and wish you could change. (You’re not alone there, either. Arnold Schwarzenegger said he could look in the mirror and “wanted to throw up.”)
We’ll look at the horrible trend of our policing agencies punishing cops for asking for mental help, and how good officers have to surreptitiously seek counseling outside of their insurance, paying for therapy and medications out of pocket, lest their badge and gun be removed. And we’ll discuss the science of male anger; why and how physiological and environmental elements can contribute to making men so violent and destructive.
Together, our voices can fight the stigma that real men don’t talk about their troubles. In doing so, we can usher in a positive conversation to replace the longstanding, detrimental silence.
Photo: Adobe
The post Not Talking About Mental Health Is Literally Killing Men appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Twitch Asks Streamers To Help Raise Awareness During Mental Health Month
From Forbes:
In a recent blog post, Twitch has asked its streamers to help raise awareness for Mental Health Month. The post gently suggests that streamers could spend a few minutes talking about their own experiences with mental health, and lists a number of charities and organizations for which streamers could consider starting or joining fundraisers. Though the post is rather short, it gathered a lot of attention on Twitter and was met with many replies containing support and positive messages.
This isn’t the first time Twitch has released official bulletins about mental health, either. Their community guidelines has an entire page dedicated to the topic, with links to resources for mental health issues of all types. Twitch also plays to its audience by offering links to a few mentally therapeutic games that “are either built on evidence-based therapeutic principles or are the subject of promising research.”
It may be daunting for streamers to discuss their mental health experiences on a website infamous for its toxic chat users. However, doing so may lead some people to finding the help they need, and streamers can also approach the issue without having to open up more than they’re comfortable with. Popular Fortnite streamer Ninja offers his stream as an outlet to viewers struggling with mental health, but clarifies that self care will help the most:
“The joy that I bring to you guys, or the joy, or anything at all, I am an outlet, I am something that can help you guys get through . . . Use me, but you have to understand that I cannot fix you, I can’t. You have to fix yourselves . . . but the endgame needs to be that you work on yourselves otherwise you won’t ultimately be happy.”
While “raising awareness” for mental health might seem somewhat redundant to some, I believe that Twitch offers a rare dynamic between streamer and viewer that makes efforts by streamers much more powerful than any corporate message can. Corporate participation in campaigns like Mental Health Awareness Month can often feel canned or disingenuous, but Twitch’s ability to connect streamers and viewers allows its campaign to have a more personal touch.
Viewers often build relationships with particular streamers, which can feel quite personal to some. Tuning in to hang out and play video games with the same person every day can feel like a real friendship, despite being just one of thousands of viewers. In fact, many streamers try to foster this sort of community around their channel, reading and responding to their chat nearly as much as they play games. Some viewers are friends with their favorite streamers, becoming regulars who are greeted individually by the streamer themselves.
As viewers bond with their favorite streamers, a message of support for mental health can feel as sincere as one coming from a family member or friend. For many with mental illness, Twitch streamers offer a type of friendship that they might struggle to create elsewhere. Even just a short discussion about mental health on-stream could reach thousands of people at once and have the same weight to them as a discussion with a close friend could. Thanks to Twitch and the streamers who participate in Mental Health Awareness Month, many people could soon be getting the mental health support they need.
Photo: Adobe
The post Twitch Asks Streamers To Help Raise Awareness During Mental Health Month appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Relapse Warning Signs
From: Verywellmind.com: Relapse is so common in the alcohol and drug recovery process, that it is estimated more than 90 percent of those in recovery have at least one relapse before they achieve lasting sobriety.
But a relapse sometimes called a “slip,” doesn’t begin when you pick up a drink or a drug. It is a slow process that begins long before you actually use. The steps to a relapse are actually changes in attitudes, feelings, and behaviors that gradually lead to the final step, picking up a drink or a drug.
If you are working toward long-term sobriety and want to avoid having a relapse along the way, it is important to recognize the following warning signs and take action to keep them from progressing into a full-blown relapse.
Researchers Terence T. Gorski and Merlene Miller identified a set of warning signs or steps that typically lead up to a relapse. Over the years, additional research has confirmed that the steps described in the Gorski and Miller study are reliable and valid predictors of alcohol and drug relapses.
Relapse Sign: Change in Attitude
Change in attitude: For some reason, you decide that participating in your recovery program is just not as important as it was. You feel something is wrong, but can’t identify exactly what it is.
Relapse Sign: Elevated stress
An increase in stress in your life can be due to a major change in circumstances or just little things building up. Returning to the “real world” after a stint in residential treatment can present many stressful situations.
The danger is if you begin over-reacting to those situations. Be careful if you begin to have mood swings and exaggerated positive or negative feelings.
Relapse Sign: Reactivation of Denial
This is not the denial that you have a drug or alcohol problem, it’s denial that the stress is getting to you. You try to convince yourself that everything is OK, but it’s not.
You may be scared or worried, but you dismiss those feelings and you stop sharing those feelings with others.
Relapse Sign: Recurrence of Withdrawal Symptoms
Anxiety, depression, sleeplessness and memory loss can continue long after you quit drinking or doing drugs. Known as post acute withdrawal symptoms these symptoms can return during times of stress. They are dangerous because you may be tempted to self-medicate them with alcohol or drugs.
Relapse Sign: Behavior Changes
You may begin to change the daily routine that you developed in early sobriety that helped you replace your compulsive behaviors with healthy alternatives. You might begin to practice avoidance or become defensive in situations that call for an honest evaluation of your behavior.
Relapse Sign: Social Breakdown
You may begin feeling uncomfortable around others and making excuses not to socialize. You stop going to your support group meetings or you cut way back on the number of meetings you attend. You begin to isolate yourself.
Relapse Sign: Loss of Structure
You begin to completely abandon the daily routine or schedule that you developed in early sobriety. You may begin sleeping late, or ignoring personal hygiene or skipping meals.
Relapse Sign: Loss of Judgment
You have trouble making decisions or you make unhealthy decisions. It may be hard to think clearly and you become confused easily. You may feel overwhelmed for no apparent reason or not being able to relax. You may become annoyed or angry easily.
Relapse Sign: Loss of Control
You make irrational choices and are unable to interrupt or alter those choices. You begin to actively cut off people who can help you. You begin to think that you can return to social drinking and recreational drug use and you can control it. You may begin to believe there is no hope. You lose confidence in your ability to manage your life.
Relapse Sign: Loss of Options
You begin to limit your options. You stop attending all meetings with counselors and your support groups and discontinue any pharmacotherapy treatments. You may feel loneliness, frustration, anger, resentment, and tension. You might feel helpless and desperate.
Final Stage: Relapse
You attempt controlled, “social” or short-term alcohol or drug use, but you are disappointed with the results and experience shame and guilt. You quickly lose control and your alcohol and drug use spiral further out of control. This causes you increasing problems with relationships, jobs, money, mental and physical health. You need help getting sober again.
Relapse Is Preventable
Relapse following treatment for drug and alcohol addiction is common and predictable, but it is also preventable. Knowing the warning signs and steps that lead up to a relapse can help you make healthy choices and take alternative action.
If a relapse does happen, it is not the end of the world. If it happens, it is important that you get back up, dust yourself off and get back on the path to recovery.
Sources:
National Institute on Drug Abuse. “Principles of Drug Addiction Treatment: A Research-Based Guide.” Revised 2012.
National Institute on Drug Abuse. “An Individual Drug Counseling Approach to Treat Cocaine Addiction: The Collaborative Cocaine Treatment Study Model.” Accessed May 2009.
Miller, WR, et al. “A Simple Scale of Gorski’s Warning Signs for Relapse.” Journal of Studies on Alcohol.
The post Relapse Warning Signs appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
7 Signs You’re Dealing With A Passive Aggressive Person
But passive-aggression — regular aggression’s sneaky little cousin? That’s a whole other thing. Passive-aggression is there but it’s not, you see it and you don’t. It’s aggression as steam — hard to frame, impossible grasp. You see it in the competitive colleague who would never confront you directly but accidentally leaves your name off an email about an important meeting. It’s the spouse who’s usually punctual but takes forever to get out of the house when it’s your turn to choose the movie. Sometimes there’s an innocent explanation, but often there’s not — and the passive-aggressors themselves might not even know which is which.
Either way, passive-aggression is more than just the nettlesome habit of a few maddeningly indirect people. Clinicians differ on whether it qualifies as a full-blown personality disorder like, say, narcissism or paranoia, but they agree on the symptoms: deliberate inefficiency, an avoidance of responsibility, a refusal to state needs or concerns directly.
Passive-aggressiveness comes in varying degrees, which can make it tricky to know if you work, live or socialize with a passive-aggressor — or if you’re one yourself. The behavior is practically defined by its plausible deniability. So we’ve compiled seven of the most commonly reported ways passive-aggressive character traits can show up in your life:
1. Leaving Things Undone
Passive-aggressors are champions of the almost complete job: the room that’s painted except for the molding; the laundry that’s washed but doesn’t get folded; the dishwasher that’s loaded except for the utensils, because really, who needs clean utensils when we can always spear our food with sharpened sticks or the fondue forks we’ve had in the back of the closet since 1997! (Not that I’ve ever experienced this at home.) It’s a nifty strategy, signaling resentment at having to do the job and leaving just little enough undone that you’d feel picky criticizing it and will ultimately decide just to do it yourself for, like, the twelve billionth time. (Not that I’ve ever experienced that either.)
2. Running Late
If you’re a passive-aggressor you live in an Einsteinian universe of eternally elastic time, where a few minutes can turn into a few hours. Actually, all of us live there — which is why we have watches. To passive-aggressors, a watch is a bother. If they don’t want to go to a dinner party but feel obligated to be there? No worries. They’ll just accept the invitation and then — oopsies! — only vaguely remember the time it starts so they don’t show up till the middle of the soup course. The same is true when they resent having to attend a meeting so they wander in 20 minutes late with a mystified expression that says you’re all here already? The behavior is occasionally deliberate, more commonly unconscious — and always infuriatingly effective.
3. The Non-Compliment
Compliments are easy. Compliments can even be fun. Here are some nice compliments: “Great haircut!” or “Terrific soup!” Here are some less nice compliments: “Great haircut — I used to get the same one in college,” or “Terrific soup — I didn’t even taste all that cilantro.” It’s no secret which kind of compliment the passive-aggressor goes for — usually out of competitiveness. If you’re not sure which kind of compliment you’ve gotten, pay attention to your own responses: If you feel like saying “thank you,” you’ve probably gotten a good one. If you feel like running screaming from the room, not so much.
4. Silence
Shhh… Hear that? No? Exactly. That’s the sound of a passive-aggressive person who’s cheesed off about something. If you were upset with something a friend or family member did, you might say — and we’re just spitballing ideas here — “I’m upset with something you did.” A passive-aggressive person would instead say: [insert your favorite cricket sounds here]. Silence is always a go-to strategy for passive-aggressors and it’s not hard to see why. It says nothing at all and yet says volumes. It ostensibly avoids a conflict but in fact provokes one—with the very lack of communication serving as a taunt and a goad. It’s thus passive, and yet, um, aggressive. Hey! We might be onto something.
5. Wistful Wishing
You know what I wish? I wish passive-aggressive people wouldn’t dreamily announce something they want and then immediately conclude — always out loud — that it’s probably not going to happen. But I guess that’s too much to ask. See what I did there? Annoying, right? I could have said, “Hey! Passive-aggressive people! Knock off that out-loud wishing.” But instead I came at it sideways. If that sounds like things you’ve heard in your life — “It would be great if you could get the project done by Wednesday, but I guess it’ll have to wait till Friday” — it’s a pretty safe bet there are passive-aggressors in your circle. The objective, of course, is to get an idea out there, then immediately disown it — thus putting the burden of getting it done or not done on you.
6. Sabotage
It’s not hard to tell the bad guy in a movie. He’s the one who’s always tampering with the brakes in the hero’s car or sneaking the bad lines of code into a computer. Passive-aggressors might not go that far, but you can see where they get their inspiration. That deadline your colleague forgot to tell you about until it was just a day away? Those work clothes your spouse tossed in with the dry-cleaning the day before you went off on that business trip you’d been arguing about? As with lateness, this is sometimes deliberate but usually not. Either way the point has been made — and yet not made too.
7. The Disguised Insult
The social contract under which the rest of us live has a special provision passive-aggressors have added just for themselves. It typically comes in the form of a “but” clause, like, “I don’t want to sound mean, but…” “I hope you don’t think I’m insensitive, but…” “Not to be judgmental, but…” after which they say something mean, insensitive or judgmental — and sometimes all three at once. An uncharacteristically honest variation on this disguised insult is the “You’re going to hate this, but…” which at least has the virtue of being true, because you will inevitably hate it down to your very last strand of DNA. This is as close to pure aggression as the passive-aggressor gets. Feel free to hold up a hand and halt the conversation before any passive-aggressors in your life get past the comma that ends the clause — but don’t be surprised if they drive right through that stop sign.
If you’re a victim of passive-aggression, there are a few basic coping strategies. For starters, remember that you’re not nuts. If you see a pattern it’s probably real. So respond — and know that it’s OK to draw sharp boundaries. The chronically late dinner guest can be invited once more on the proviso that the start time of the evening is honored. After that? It’s Chipotle for you, bub.
And what if you’re the passive aggressor? Well, the knock-it-off suggestion is a good place to start. That’s not always easy, and it can take work and even the help of a good therapist to determine why directness is so hard for you. It’s a lot better than indirectness, however—and it’s a whole lot less work.
The post 7 Signs You’re Dealing With A Passive Aggressive Person appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
Why We Ignore Relationship Red Flags
In a toxic relationship we may ask ourselves why didn’t we see the unhealthy relationship clues sooner? The answer is often that we did see red flags, but choose to ignore them at the time. Here are the most common signs and why we look the other way.
Why We Ignore The Red Flags
For many it is the hope that the problem will disappear on its own and our fantasy will continue uninterrupted
For others, it is because we have been taught that relationships are hard work and we must compromise. These include cultural pressures to stay in the relationship no matter what
Some ignore the red flags because of the inconvenience of seeing them. We may have to make big changes such as the place where we live, our finances, or have to learn to be alone
According to Susan Biali M.D. @ Psychology Today “Until you start changing the actions you take in response to red flags, you’re always going to get the same results. The red flags are not the problem. It’s what you DO with that information – which is usually nothing – that gets you into trouble.”
Common Relationship Red Flags
Here are some of the typical red flags that occur in many relationships.
1. You’re Perfect!
And your partner can’t tell you often enough. We often dismiss the flag with “That’s wonderful. I feel so special and appreciated. What could be wrong with that?”
Unfortunately, while it may sound wonderful at first, it’s utterly miserable being placed on a pedestal. The other person doesn’t see the real you. They project an idea of perfection onto you and will get upset anytime you act like a flawed normal human being.
2. They Can’t Stand To Be Away From You
He begs you to stay home instead of having brunch with the girls, or she misses you so much when you’re with the guys. We’ll excuse the flag on the play with, “They are obsessed with me and can’t stand the idea of being away from me. They love me so much.”
The truth is possessiveness arises from insecurities. It reflects the injured and degraded self-esteem of that person. Obsession is a perfume not a form of love.
3. They Need A Drink Or Pill To Unwind
Because drinking is socially acceptable, we dismiss this red flag with, “Everyone has their own way to relax. He or she binges on the weekend.”
According to the National Institute of Health, drug addiction is a complex disease, and quitting usually takes more than good intentions or a strong will. Drugs change the brain in ways that make quitting hard, even for those who want to.
4. They Let You Do All The Work
Partners in healthy relationships share the housework, bills, and planning. Do you make excuses with, “It is just easier for me to take care of the housework. His/her boss was not fair to him/her. I don’t mind planning things for the two of us. I am just better at those kinds of things.”
It’s important to remember “Under-Functioning” adults typically don’t show a history of financial independence or taking full responsibility for their own physical welfare and/or activities of daily living. They constantly need advice and expect other to care for them. They often zone out in front of TV or video games.
The unhealthy relationship clues that appear in many relationships are easy to spot if we would simply choose to believe what we are seeing. Even more confusing is when people will actually tell you the truth and we simply choose not to believe them.
Maya Angelo said it best, “When a person says to you, ‘I’m selfish,’ or ‘I’m mean’ or ‘I am unkind,’ believe them. They know themselves much better than you do.”
Trust Your Gut
Even if someone doesn’t tell you directly your gut will confirm the truth about what you see. Do you often feel you must ignore what is plainly in sight in order to keep the status quo in your relationship?
When we finally accept reality, we can find relief. While it is difficult to face the new challenges of acknowledging unhealthy relationship clues, ultimately we are comforted by the knowledge that we are not crazy. In fact, our gut/intuition was working just fine. It may feel as though we are being gaslighted by the people we love, but sometimes we are the ones doing the gaslighting to ourselves.
Save
Save
Save
Save
Save
Save
Save
Save
The post Why We Ignore Relationship Red Flags appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
May 2, 2018
Drinking And Teen Pregnancy Risk
Substance use increases teen pregnancy risk, and most teen pregnancies are unplanned (HHS). Unwanted pregnancies are especially likely if the teen(s) are intoxicated which results in more risky behaviors such as impulsive sex or even being date-raped when not being able to give permission for sex or having sex when consent is unknown.
This increases the risk of other problems including “pregnancy-related complications, premature delivery, and delivering babies with developmental problems.” Also, pre-and postnatal health problems for both mother and child are compounded when the mother uses alcohol or drugs and “pregnant teens are more likely to engage in binge drinking and drug use early in their pregnancies” (SAMHSA).
But does alcohol use in teens lead to unwanted pregnancies? Yes – according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy. They found that:
More than a third of sexually active adults age 15 to 24 have revealed that use of alcohol influenced them to do something sexual.
Risk Factors For Teen Pregnancy
Not having open communication with parents and other adult supports about sex
Not talking to the potential partner about sex, pregnancy, and birth control
Not understanding sexual activities and thinking you cannot get pregnant for various reasons such as being on your period, having sex for the first time, or using the ‘withdrawal method’ for birth control
Engaging in early-age sexual activity (i.e., becoming sexual active at ages such as 11-15) – early puberty increases the odds of early pregnancy especially if combined with the use of substances
Using alcohol (and/or other drugs) and being intoxicated prior to and during sexual activity
Substance use influences risky sexual behavior as well as difficulties in saying no or being date raped
Substance use also influences the lack of birth control use
Other potential consequences (for mother and child): SAMHSA, American Academy of Pediatrics, HHS, and NCPTUP:
Higher chance of stillbirth or miscarriage or other pregnancy-related problems such as premature birth
Ongoing substance use after pregnancy
Poor neo-natal care
Higher rate of birth problems such as fetal alcohol syndrome or fetal alcohol effects
Developmental issues for the child including physical and behavioral problems
Higher rate of having more unwanted pregnancies
Higher risk for STDs and HIV.
Higher risk of sexual assault due to intoxication
Higher risk of medical problems for both mother and child
Increased risk of homelessness
Reduced educational pursuits for mothers
Reduced income for mothers/poverty
Increased use of alcohol and drugs in early pregnancy
Increased need for substance use disorder treatment
Repeated unwanted pregnancies
Increased foster care of the child
Increased delinquency and incarceration of the child
Prevention Tools
Honest and open communications between parents and teens
Early education regarding teen pregnancy – exploring all risky behaviors and resulting consequences
Early education and support groups around substance use disorders and treatment if needed
Sexual abstinence-based information AND discussion of contraceptions
Input from community agencies such as Planned Parenthood, physicians, nurses, the school nurse, or health clinics regarding risky behaviors and condom use to prevent STDs, HIV, and pregnancy
Parents can talk with their teens about sex, saying ‘no’, risky behaviors, and birth control through open and honest discussion
Parents knowing where their children are and what they are doing, including computer monitoring
Educating teens about potential perpetrators and date rape and being open to talk with parents or others about concerns
Healthy Pregnancies
Education and early intervention for pregnant moms and fathers to help with decisions about the pregnancy
Learn ways to keep the mother and baby healthy while in utero and after birth
Provide educational options and help for the mother to continue her education in some manner (alternative schools, home-schooling, on-line schools, etc)
Help with health needs such as through medical clinics, Planned Parenthood, Dulas, etc.
Help with housing including governmental housing if needed
Find teen support group parents support group
Provide counseling as needed to deal with the stress of the pregnancy and any other issues of the parents including relationship counseling
In summary, as a teen, there are more chances of unwanted pregnancy and this number increases when the young person(s) are drinking alcohol. Help your teen to be aware of high risk behaviors and ways to live a healthy life.
The post Drinking And Teen Pregnancy Risk appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
May 1, 2018
Alaska Joins Drug Trafficking Network
The Office of National Drug Control Policy announced today that Alaska will receive new funding to combat drug trafficking. The judicial districts of Anchorage, Fairbanks, and Juneau have officially been designated High Intensity Drug Trafficking Areas (HIDTA), so Alaska will get more resources and flexibility to coordinate state, federal, local, and tribal governments to fight drug abuse.
Governor Bill Walker requested the designation in January, as part of his Public Safety Action Plan to help address Alaska’s opioid epidemic. Until today, Alaska was the only state that had no designated HIDTA areas, leaving us without access to $250 million in federal anti-trafficking funding available to other states. Now, Alaska can harness federal funding to coordinate law enforcement and fight the production, transport, and use of illegal drugs.
“This is a critical development in our work to build a safer Alaska. This designation offers new doors to share information, new resources to fight the opioid epidemic, and new opportunities to save lives across Alaska,” said Governor Bill Walker.
Governor Walker also said he’s grateful for the support from Alaska’s congressional delegation, federal partners, state departments, and local law enforcement, who worked in concert to receive this designation, which will fund collaboration to build a safer Alaska.
The post Alaska Joins Drug Trafficking Network appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.
